Show Appreciation

One of the best ways to keep your love alive in your relationship is to continuously find ways to show appreciation for your partner. It’s so easy to let a love go stale when everything is going good and easy but don’t let your beautiful lake view turn into a swamp by restricting the flow of fresh, new appreciation to keep your lake of love vibrant and alive.

Letting your partner know he or she is not taken for granted is very meaningful and just taking the time to show appreciation helps to keep those love hormones alive, increasing the bond between partners.

You can show appreciation without a great deal of fanfare and still increase love’s bond by…

Talking About Your Partner

Simply taking the time to ask your partner about his or her day, letting them say whatever it is they need to say, echo it back in your own words, and ask for more. Resisting the temptation to jump in and talk about yourself and keeping the focus entirely on him or her releases Oxytocin which is widely known as the bonding hormone. In fact, most, if not all, efforts to show appreciation releases Oxytocin in the brain which endears your partner to you, and it goes both ways. You also receive a dose of Oxytocin from making the effort to show appreciation to your partner. Note: you get extra credit for turning off your phone during a one-on-one conversation.

Attentive Compliments

If you pay attention to your partner’s life throughout the day you can take note of some of the little things that endear you to him or her, things that are often overlooked or taken for granted. Later in the evening you can review those things and pick one or two (or three) and compliment your partner on these things that you are grateful for. This helps to keep your love alive.

Do Something Your Partner Wants to Do

We all know that opposites attract and more than likely your partner would love to do something that is not on your bucket list (and it might be on your activities-I’d-rather-avoid list of things not to do). Taking the initiative of offering to attend an event or engage in an activity with your partner that he or she knows you’d rather not do, is a great way to show your support and appreciation.

Lend a Hand

When you know your partner is knee-deep in a project that is trying their attention and may be moving their vibrational frequency toward stress, offer to help. You may, or may not, be able to help but offering your assistance can make all the difference. Think of other ways you might be able to relieve a little stress by rubbing his or her shoulders, a foot rub, or running a hot bubble bath for him or her. This communicates both support and appreciation, letting your partner know that his or her efforts are not taken for granted.

Play Dress Up

It’s easy to get stuck in the same ol’ same ol’ routine, play dress up, have a glam night and get duded-up for either a night out on the town or a candlelight dinner at home. If you set up a dress up even with a degree of spontaneity without any special event or occasion attached to it, this can add a little spice to your life and increase your attachment and intimacy. Of course, there are other forms of dress up, you can be creative and use your imagination, keeping your relationship fresh and new.

Digital Thoughtfulness

We all can be easily caught up in the daily details of making our way through life. You can let your partner know that he or she is appreciated by reaching out with a little nonchalant effort of recognition in the middle of his or her workday by letting your partner know that you appreciate him or her in a brief test or private message. Embrace available technologies that let you take advantage of the ability to connect with your partner, without having to interrupt him or her when they might be in the middle of something intense.

Flowers and Chocolates

To add emphasis to your show of appreciation you can add flowers (for women) or chocolates (for men) to add that little extra something to your admiration. This is a given for special occasions but it is far more meaningful when unexpected, for no other reason than you care deeply.

Show Appreciation in Public

Three times the Oxytocin is released when you recognize your partner in public vs. in private.

When you’re in a group with other people, sharing your appreciation for your partner in a public setting in front of other people as a way to recognize him or her, goes a long way in strengthening the bond of love between you.

Gratitude for Your Partner

This is the time of year to look back and review how things have gone for you this year. It’s easy to see the things that have not worked out the way you might have wanted to, but make sure to also review those things that you are also grateful for. By all means, don’t forget to look at the one that is closest to you. Think about all the things your partner brings to your life for which you are grateful, and be sure to express gratitude for your partner.

Showing appreciation for your partner is a powerful method of shoring up the bond between the two of you as a couple. Small gestures of you expressing gratitude for your partner can go a long way. You often feel gratitude, and you assume your partner “just knows” how grateful you are, but unexpressed gratitude is rarely, if ever, properly acknowledged by the person who means so much to you.

Certainly, there are particular times of the year which offer reminders and opportunities to show your partner how thankful you are for them walking along with you on your path of life. There is your anniversary (which some people insist on celebrating monthly), Valentine’s Day, his or her birthday, and of course, around the holiday season.

What about the rest of the year?

The most successful couples are celebrating each other, show appreciation for one another every day. This expression of gratitude for your partner pays off in increased bonding, emotional connection, and deepening of intimacy.

Seems like showing a little gratitude for your partner is not much to ask. If you’re shy, or find the idea of speaking out your gratefulness, there are other ways you can show your partner how thankful you are to have him or her in your life.

You could write a little note with a cute saying on it. Make it meaningful and about him or her, something you appreciate, specifically, and leave it somewhere they will find it.

Little touches, just a finger along the arm, gently brushing a leg, a little hug, or kiss on the forehead. Little connections, not associated with any sexual intention, say, “I appreciate you,” and lets the other person know you care.

Inquire about time spent apart. Like, “How was your day, today?” You might be surprised to find a lot more going on outside your view than you thought. And showing a little compassion by actively listening and caring about what has gone on in your absence helps your partner think that life is not going on without you when you’re away. After a while, he or she is looking forward to sharing details about your day, and throughout the day, they feel as though you are there, supporting them, and feel a sense of security in knowing that you will be interested in this, or that, and be somewhat excited to share when you ask.

Make special time to spend with your partner more often. Sure, date night is a great idea, but a little cuddling (without cell phones or other devices) at night in front of the glow of the television (the fireplace of the current day) can go a long way.

Take the time, and exert the effort to truly listen to what he or she has to say. Be quiet and look at him or her when he or she is talking. Listen intently, making eye contact, and repeat important ideas to him or her in your own words, in support and with the intention of understanding what it is he or she is trying to say.

Do something special, without having to be asked. If you are not the one who normally does the dishes, jump in and give ‘em a wash. Detail his or her car. Make dinner. Do a little something-something that is an unexpected gift from your heart to his or hers.

Add supportive power to your relationship when your partner is having a difficult time, hold his or her hand, look you partner in the eye and offer him or her your assurance, “I love you,” and remind him or her that, “It’s you and me against the world.” And, “I’m here for you, no matter what.” If you really want to ramp up your appreciation and love, dare to add, “You’re the most important person in my life, I am blessed to have you here. I would do anything for you.” (Of course, use your own words, if this doesn’t sound like what you might say.)

Express gratitude for your partner in private, but also be bold enough to show great appreciation for your partner in public, in front of family, friends, and co-workers. This will cement the bond between the two of you, and increase intimacy (you’ll see that later, in private).

Thanksgiving Leftovers

After the thanksgiving festivities are over, and the Black Friday mayhem has begun, many of us are left with that warm, fuzzy feeling of having spent precious moments with the people we love. Bust as we all know, even after the event has come and gone there are always Thanksgiving leftovers.

Not just the goodies piled up in the fridge as late-night snacks, or foods to be repurposed for lunch meals or TV dinners, but the most precious leftovers of all, the memories of spending time with loved ones which welcomes a cascade of even more nostalgic reminders of love’s power and infinite endurance.

This year, I was so blessed to spend the holiday with my people, especially my children, Nathanial, Tabitha, and Jaycie and their families. And, OMG, could anyone have known that EJ and Tim (and all the others who helped in meal prep) would be able to create the most heavenly vegan Thanksgiving meal-spread of all (my favorite was the brussels sprout flavor-popping culinary delights). Family-time, like this, is precious and priceless, and it feels your heart with much love which lasts for long after Thanksgiving Day has come and gone; Thanksgiving leftovers.

You feel the combination of the love and the gratitude and you might like to share some of that amazing energy with someone less fortunate. But this, these precious moments, are your prized possessions and may not be embraced with as much tender honor as you might bestow on these times. Far better to share love with others from an infinite source.

You have the right idea, about sharing love with others who may not have had the opportunity to have an experience like yours, and may be feeling desolate, alone, totally lost and without hope. Rather than share my Thanksgiving leftovers with those who could use some love during the holidays, I prefer sending love to the world from the infinite source of all life and love.

So overwhelmed with feeling so full of love and blessedness that while others were fighting over sale items on Black Friday, I took a long (very long) leisurely walk via a nature trek on one of the most amazing, moderate winter evenings in the Pacific Northwest, and spent almost the entire time sending love to the world.

The beauty of sending love to the world via the infinite source is that it does not deplete any of your own love resources and if you do it right… (drum roll…) it ramps up your own love vibration exponentially. Wa-hoo! (If you could only imagine how I feel, right now… so far above Cloud Nine!)

Now, imagine if you felt like you had no love to share. None. Even the thought of love is like staring into a black vacuum, no feeling, no joy, nothing.

Here comes the good part.

Let’s say, there is no love in you, but you still might like to wish love could be apparent and felt by others, even if you, yourself, could not imagine having any love to share. You, too, could try sending love to the world.

By sending love to the world from an infinite source (such as via the method I walk you through in my Sending Love to the World guided meditation) you become a conduit for love. The love comes down and flows through you as you shower this infinite love over your family, friends, neighbors, community, town, state, country, and the whole world. You cannot conduct this exercise without realizing the residual benefits from doing so.

First, and foremost, you are no longer loveless. You cannot send love to the world without feeling some love leftovers. This residual loveliness is yours to keep. It is your reward for taking a few minutes out of your life to send love to others who may desperately need it. But there’s more…

The act of sending love to the world ramps up your immune system and promotes inner healing (not just psychological, but physiological, also) for up to eight hours. Plus, you feel better and every time you send love to the world, you add exponential time to your life and reverse the process of aging.

Who wouldn’t want to receive love, experience self-healing, feel better, be younger, and live longer?

Taking a few minutes out for Sending love to the world is a small price to pay for all that.

If you might like to give it a try, check out my,

Sending Love to the World Guided Meditation

Thankful and Sending Love to the World

I am so thankful and blessed, not just on Thanksgiving, but every day that I get to spend living life on this planet. I have experienced the greatest of all peak experiences to their fullest and I have weathered the desolate valleys, and if I had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I am thankful for all the people whom I know and have known, the people who love and support me, and those who don’t particularly care for me, even the haters. They all have been integral parts of my life, which is the most magnificent tapestry.

Of course, I wish everyone could love me, but I am an acquired taste, and not everyone can appreciate me for who I am. I am blessed either way because if it weren’t for those who would rather avoid me, I might take the respect and love I receive from others for granted. It just makes them all the more precious to me.

I suppose life has led me down a path accompanied by a soundtrack I sing along with as I traverse which is often optimistic. Even in the worst of times, I can see the good in all things (albeit, not necessarily at the get-go, but I get there).

It is from this blessed space that I like

Sending Love to the World

Initially, a solitary and private undertaking, I invited others to join me in sending love to the world, for the sake of others who are unable to find joy and may be suffering hardship, especially during the holidays, for, “There but for the grace of God, go I.”

It could easily be me in such a state of loss or disrepair, that I could not see the light, any glimmer whatsoever, and might even contemplate whether my life was worth living at all. It is for these people that I try to remember to take a few minutes out of my holiday season to send them love. And not just them, but broaden my scope to include my family, friends, community, state, country and include sending love to the world.

As I invite people to join me, all I ask is that you set aside at least three minutes from your holiday activities for sending love to the world. I usually send love in ten-minute intervals, but only three minutes of sending love to the world increases the love which radiates in your life, boosts your immune system for up to eight hours, and reverses aging. (Who wouldn’t want to do that?) It doesn’t cost a dime, and is beneficial to others, as you join in, even if only for a few minutes because the effects are cumulative and exponential.

You can send love in any manner which resonates with you. You can pray, meditate, light a candle, or whatever other way you choose to send love to the world. If you’re at a loss about how to engage in sending love to the world, then, by all means, you are invited to try my

Sending Love to the World Guided Meditation

Please, if you have known love, even if you are like me and have loved and lost, at least you have known it, given love, even if it wasn’t reciprocated. So many, have not even had the privilege of knowing love at all.

And for those who are reserved, withdrawn, suffering and in pain, a little love vibration might just be what they need to make it through this tough time in life, and you helped by sending love to the world.

If you’re reading this on Thanksgiving, please consider being bold enough to take a few minutes out of your family celebration to join in sending love to the world. And if Thanksgiving day has passed, please consider doing it anytime during the holidays.

Sending Love to the World runs from November 11th, through the 1st of January, with the most important days being Veterans Day, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas, and New Years. These are the days, when the people who are not doing well may feel the most desolate. You and we can make a difference.

Thank you for joining me this year in sending love to the world.

Please share this with your friends, and invite them to join us.

Give What You Want

If you really desire something to be ever present in our life, then give it away.

gratitude-vs-fear-give-what-you-want-to-abundantly-receive

There are many ways to get stuff, as in most areas in life, obtaining physical possession or emotional states includes a wide spectrum of possibilities but basically are obtained either by hoarding or giving.

Hoarding is fear-based promoting lack, and giving is gracious benevolence that promotes abundance.

Which sounds more appealing to you?

Fear or Gratitude

Fear

In a fear-based state of mind, the person who is acquiring any given thing, circumstance, state of mind or feeling is doing so from an energetic position of survival, and in a more aggressive campaign for any given thing, survival of the fittest. The extreme is likened to an act of war, where the goal is to conquer the enemy to obtain that which is sought.

In the battlefield of acquisition morality may be compromised in an effort to get what you want. Not unlike war-time. We raise our children not to kill. Later in life, they may find themselves in occupations where they are taught that killing is not only acceptable in certain circumstances, but if they are in a war-time occupation it becomes their job, to kill for their country.

The same is true for fear-based accumulation. To varying degrees (based on the individual) all bets are off. They are likely to do or say anything in an effort to obtain that which they seek. The more desperately they want it, the more desperate the measures they will take to get it.

You might think that this fear-based acquisition might represent only low income individuals. If so, be prepared to wrap your head around the idea that this style of acquisition permeates all income levels from the lowest to the wealthiest people on our planet.

In the fear-based system, the acquisition of that which is sought is not satisfying to the person who obtained it in this manner. While some satisfaction is obtained by getting what they wanted, it doesn’t last long, and they long for something else to get.

I am not offering any judgment on how someone acquires the stuff they want. It’s not good or bad, right or wrong, it just is what it is.

Gratitude

Then there are the people who are thankful for anything they receive and give freely with no expectations and they get everything they want in an abundant fashion, while the rest of us look on in utter amazement wondering, “How do they do it?”

They don’t work hard for anything, do not obsess over its absence, just believe they will have it and whatever it is they’re wanting finds its way to them.

They tend to be extremely generous, helping others, giving of themselves in a variety of ways to offer energetic assistance, contribute to the evolution of peace and/or a better world in some way.

Whether they are aware of it or not, they are participating in what we currently refer to as the Law of Attraction. Some people just do it naturally and the rest of us can learn how to live a life like this, although it will take some effort on our part if we are to move from fear-based acquisition to gracious abundance.

Reduced to its simplest form, I see the fear-based acquisition and gracious abundance not as good and bad, but more like the hard way or the easy way. To me it is easier to freely give, love and promote peace, kindness and a better world and enjoying all the things that come my way, than to fuss and fret about not having what I want, scrimping, saving or manipulating people or circumstances (including finances and financing) to get what I want.

If you are in the fear-based mindset, the scrimping, saving, financing sounds much more practical and easier than letting go enough to find joy in allowing what you want to come to you at the perfect time. To you, the concept of giving-and-allowing sounds impractical or ridiculous at first blush.

Think about it

This applies to all things, material things as well as emotional states.

In this respect it is true: you cannot buy love or happiness. Oh, you can achieve that state for a while via any means possible, but it does not satisfy as much as when that which you seek is obtained by giving of it freely, and receiving it in return.

What do you think?