Growth Amidst Chaos

When you’re trying to stay focused on your balancing and maintenance of personal, professional, and spiritual growth, many distractions abound to break your stride, interrupting your maturation and expansion.

As you turn your attention toward maintaining your love vibration and protect your sacred space, circumstances, challenges, and situations crash into your otherwise upwardly mobile progress by any means possible, using the manmade distractors such as “the news,” TV, media, personal communication devices, Google, social media, books, magazines, celebrity gossip, money hardship, relationships with others, or other emotional stressors.

The crux of your growth and expansion is to focus your attention within, yet there are so many methods which society and the “powers that be” utilize to keep you so distracted that staying in the zone for any amount of time is difficult at best.

Taking time to center yourself in quiet repose can give you the pause necessary to adequately review the events of your life in the recent past (yesterday, last week, last month) to give you a good idea about which distractions have the greatest distractibility quotient over you. This recognition sheds light on the areas in your life that may need tending to.

“Everything was going along great, then all of a sudden…”

Whatever comes after that helps to identify particular weaknesses or chinks in your armor. With a little attention to these areas you can repair the damage, or eliminate altogether, any future risk of penetration.

And if that weren’t enough, there’s enough discord among the faith systems of the world to keep you utterly confused about which way to go, as you’re trying to make your own way while staying true to your own purpose, message, passion, and mission.

Everyone has their own idea of how you should approach your spiritual relationship with the ultimate power of the universe, but others are not aware enough to know that while their path may be a perfect match for where they are in their own journey, it may not be perfect for you. In fact, someone else’s path may actually be counterproductive for your continued growth and expansion; another distraction.

The perfect clue to help you identify that someone else’s faith-system is not for you and does not support your highest and best will be the degree of pressure they impose upon you to convert or conform to their point of view. If their insistence is unfailing, threatening, borderline abusive, or destructive, common sense dictates this is not the path of love’s growth and expansion.

Love’s growth and expansion includes the divinity of all forms of life in all their various styles and perspectives, all in various stages of awakening. Even though some may be stagnant, immature, against the flow, or even considered to be controlling, predatory, or evil, all are perfectly divine in their own way.

Separateness keeps us divided, does not support expansive growth, makes humanity stagnate, and is unsustainable, while allowing other people and their ideas simply “to be” while finding more ways to grow and expand one’s self, understanding that we are individuals, yet “one” in love, is the current evolutionary process of the human race.

How we interact with others reveals the nature of our emotional/spiritual condition. If your approach is to either accept like-minded people and reject those who present different approaches to life, you could do better. A fully engaged love vibration will have you seeing the sacredness in all life. The contrast actually helps to promote the evolution of humanity.

At some point, when the evolution hits critical mass, only love will be sustainable, and that which is not love will simply deteriorate and fade away. Until then, the best we can do is to love everyone and everything with all we’ve got, doing the best we can to move this expansive evolutionary process forward.

Don’t take things personally, find opportunities to accept what is, love and bless everyone and everything as you discover new methods of staying focused within yourself, tending to your own life and growth, while allowing others the same courtesy.

The distractions and interactions with others actually support your continued growth, if you increasingly approach all these things in love, and training your attention to focus on the sacred divinity of all things, while focusing on that which is good, beautiful, and loving.

Flexibility Love and Stability

The 7 Phases of Love depicts the love relationship which exists between most mortals. It is used as a text for lovers, relationship counselors, and coaches to give you reference points which are common among love relationships, even so, there is a great deal of variation among love relationships which enter offices seeking love therapy.

The problem with most love relationships which persist over time is that growth and change are not factored into the confines of the love relationship.

At the outset of your love affair, you and your beloved agreed to a certain set of parameters which represented each of your wants, needs, and desires of your hearts. You carve these love commandments in stone and hold each other accountable.

This is all well and good if you are in love with a robot and you are also a robot, otherwise it is destined to be problematic because people do change, and in the best-case scenarios they grow, and growth necessitates change.

Flexibility

The most successful love relationships are constructed with enough flexibility to account for growth and change, for not to presents the couple with a rigidity which is more likened to a prison sentence, or contractual agreement, which is all but impossible to maintain over time, unless one or both parties are willing to sacrifice their own growth and expansion.

Those who willingly acquiesce to resign themselves to a contractual relationship, in a sense agreeing to the long-term martyrdom of self, do so out of fear, and are likely not to achieve must satisfaction in life but are willing to sacrifice for some degree of stability.

In most cases, I see it as a matter of priorities when in the process of engaging in the love relationship.

While many people have a certain set of priorities to maintain in their lives, there are two which seem to impact love relationships more than others, and they are

Love and Stability

If these priorities are mismatched it can invite a lot of complications in the love relationship due to incompatibility. Both partners can have love and stability as their top two priorities, but which one comes first can have a huge impact on how the relationship is approached.

For instance, if stability comes first, then you will not be able to fully love until your needs for safety and security (whatever that might look like because it’s different for everybody) are satisfied.

On the other hand, if love comes first, then you will not be able to willingly do whatever it takes to supply safety and security until your need for love is met first.

You can see why having these priorities mis-matched can cause a great deal of conflict within the relationship. One is not right or wrong, it just is what it is. Everyone is entitled to his or her desires of the heart.

Realistically, if you want to have any hope of longevity in your love relationship, you must allow for flexibility, renegotiation, and change.

You may not find out that your love and stability priorities were improperly aligned until long after you’ve committed yourself to your relationship. This is just one instance when discovering such a discrepancy would call for an important heart-to-heart conversation and coming up with a new plan to address the differences.

All this negotiating is necessary when you’re in a love affair of the flesh. If you are in a relationship which is founded purely on unconditional love (which is very rare, even though many of us claim we love “unconditionally”) then, you are always open to growth and change within your relationship of true love.

Does “loving unconditionally” mean that you and your partner will live happily ever after? Or, “stay together forever?”

No.

It means that you love your partner so much that you want only the best for him or her.

If the day comes when your partner might be better off without you, then you bless him or her and let them go, in love.

You love so much, that you can not only survive but thrive in their departure, though it might be difficult at first, because above all when you love someone unconditionally, you desire only the best for him or her.

Unconditional love is a tall order, and it is not for the weak-at-heart. Loving someone, “no matter what,” is far more than the mere mortal can endure.

Relationships Come and Go

Living life is all about advancing, growing and changing. Not settling for mediocrity, nor staying in the same place. Real life is about transitioning from one stage to the next, making the necessary adjustments along the way, and relationships come and go, though some remain.

As you move through this life, you will encounter and bond with people along the way who will vary in significance. You may develop deep relationships which serve you in the deepest, most meaningful ways. You would like to believe that people who play such a key role in your life today will be there tomorrow. Yet in many cases, this is not meant to be.

The best lives are built on a foundation of growth and change, and sometimes, the people who mean the most to you today may not be suitable for the path you are destined to follow. Everyone has their own journey; some relationships can be sustained longer than others.

In order to keep growing, changing, and continuing on your sacred journey, you must be able to find comfort in moving on from relationships that no longer serve you, as you move on.

You’ve shared life and love with them, will cherish the memories, carry them always in your heart, and keep moving.

Everything is in divine order, and these people of varying significance were integral to your success and metamorphosis. They were there for you, supported you, cared for you, loved you, and gave you the strength to keep going on.

Returning to places or revisiting people from your past via celebration or reunion brings a flood of nostalgic emotion, instantly taking you back to the moment in time when these moments from your past were so integral to your survival and transition, and you are blessed.

As much as you might want to return to those times, you know you no longer are connected to those people, places, and things, like you were before. You are an entirely different person now, and so are they, living lives so different, each better in your own ways.

Realizing that relationships come and go helps you to appreciate the people who have significance in your life. You are far more appreciative, cherishing and honoring each moment because you know it may not last forever, though it may feel like it in the moment.

When relationships come to us we are blessed, sometimes sharing the most intimate of moments, when relationships go, it can be hard to say goodbye, even lead to heartbreak, or depression, but life goes on.

New people will be attracted to you to help you on your journey, and others will come into your life who will test you, help you to learn, grow, and expand into the best version of yourself.

There will be those who may be on a similar enough path to yours to accompany you for much, if not all, of your journey. These are those, the most special of whom will be there forever.

For those who you’ve left behind, they can live on forever in your memories, in the deepest most precious recesses of your heart, always honored and remembered for their blessing you along the way. In a sense, still encouraging you and supporting your continued growth and transformation from within.

Continue to love and bless them, and they may continue to love and bless you, even though you may never cross paths again, as you live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Your Life is the Result of the Choices You Make

If you look around you, your life is the result of the choices you make, the friends you have, your income level, the home you live in, the amount of happiness you enjoy every day, all are a perfect match to you and your vibration.

Your life is the result of the choices you make. You might not always get what you want, but you always get what you’ve invited or created. Your life presents you with everything you need for your personal, professional, and spiritual growth. Always perfectly matched.

You may reject this idea on the surface, thinking, “That’s not true, I want more.” Even this wanting of something different, something more, is a perfect match for you. These desires feel like you wanting something else, but it’s really something else which wants to reveal itself to you. All of the things you want are already there, waiting to present themselves to you.

Your wanting has already manifested all the desires of your heart. Everything you’ve ever wanted is already there, not far off, waiting for you to become a vibrational match for it, then it will be revealed to you in all its fullest capacity.

Do you want a better life? It is there. A better car, education, social network, lover, friends, cash flow, whatever you strongly desire, it is already yours. Only one thing stands between you and everything you want, and that thing is you.

Your life is the result of the choices you make which set the tone of your vibration. You cannot have what you want if you don’t change your vibration, to become a better match for that which you seek.

Now, you can, with your determination, persistence, and through the strength of your own flesh cause certain things in your life to be had through strain and struggle. When you get what you want through brute force, those things you desire will satisfy your longing for a moment, but this satisfaction will fade quickly, leaving you to want something more, and you may not be able to sustain the having of it without some stress or difficulty.

When you are a vibrational match for something and it manifests itself to you, there is a peace and calm that comes with the having of it. You know it was always there, and you were the recipient of it at the perfect time in the perfect place.

You must start to change the choices you make in life to affect your life in such a way that your life changes, becomes a better match to what your heart is calling you to, if you want to see everything you want to come to you naturally and easily. That’s how to get what you want.

By not making new choices, and making the changes necessary to change your vibration, you will see the same old life presenting itself to you, over and over again. Endless cycles of dissatisfaction and all your best efforts to make your life appear to be everything you want will not satisfy, ever.

Every day, you are presented with opportunities to make a new choice that will change your vibration and your life. When you choose based on your current vibration, your life stays the same. Your vibration is affirmed and strengthened.

When you are presented with the opportunity to make a new choice, and you make your normal choice, that opportunity is removed from your potentiality. Don’t go chasing after it. It’s too late. A new opportunity will present itself, and it will be even better for you, offering you even more of what you want as you raise your vibration to love and above.

Make a new choice and instantly your vibration changes to match your new choice. Keep making new choices and you change your vibration. The more you establish your new vibration the more your life changes to match your new vibration.

This is the process of your growth leading to evolution and expansion which will cause the desires of your heart to appear to you in divine order, without stress, strain, or dissatisfaction.

Your new life is waiting for you to step into it.

Make a new choice today, do something different, and your life changes accordingly.

No Darkness vs Light

People who have grown up in and are a part of “the real world” are so well conditioned they have no idea what is available to them. For the most part, they are unaware of their own divinity and power. They have no idea that their ego has been conditioned to prevent them from seeing the unlimited potentialities of the universe.

It is no fault of theirs that they perceive the world this way. It is the default setting for the human condition in the current day and age. But times are a changing, as increasingly people are awakening to the reality of so much of everything they know, believe, and would give their lives to defend, are lies.

They are, as we all were, victims of immersive programming through social engineering, family rearing, and the constant drone of media exposure. Who can blame them? Not one of us because we’ve been there, too.

The last thing anyone wants to hear is that everything they know, believe, or lived their life for, is not as it appears. That is unless their heart is soft enough, and they’ve been brave enough to start looking at the inconsistencies to question reality-as-they-know-it for themselves.

You Have Lost Your Mind!

It is perfectly understandable that someone who is lost in the darkness, and therefore “normal,” might think that you, as you challenge everything they believe as being true is anything but the truth and believe you have lost your mind!

Your perspective is so contrary to everything they’ve been programmed to believe that you must be in need of psychiatric help or be locked up and medicated for your own good. They love you, they do, and they do not want to see you stray too far from the fold.

Even so, people from all walks of life, are awakening, even scientists cannot deny the expansiveness of life, the universe, and the awesome potential of the quantum sciences as we see the contrast in what we previously thought to be.

This awakening is not all wine and roses. When your whole world is blown apart, you can experience an earth-shattering awakening and as you begin to realize things are not as they appear, and you spent your whole life believing lies, you can be deeply shaken as you adjust to this new knowingness.

You don’t need psychotic drug therapy. What you need is to take some time to adjust to your new realities and to seek the unlimited resources of love within, which is your birthright.

Different people emerge from awakening in different ways. Some people actually respond to the awakening, not with love, but with an increased fear and negative fervor. They are shocked by the contrast between what they’ve been led to believe and how different the things they’ve held to so tightly was misrepresented as a method to manipulate and control their thoughts and actions. These are those who become obsessed with the dichotomy and are labeled as radicals, nonconformists, and conspiracy theorists.

These rebels fueled by anger take it upon themselves to try to educate the “believers” of their folly. While this effort does have it’s place, it is not the path of those who live life in the light most fully. For in the light, there is only light, love, compassion, healing, and the acceptance that things are as they are.

There is No Darkness vs Light

There is no war of light against the darkness. There is only the growth and expansion of love and light, until the darkness can no longer be effectively used against the world and its peoples. Focussing on the darkness can distract someone on the path to light and love from their fullest expansive potential.

In the light, there is no place for complaining about conspiracies, government or otherwise, oppression, manipulation of the masses, violence, war, or rumors of wars. These are the ideas represented by the darkness. There is no denying the prevalence of the darkness, but the antithesis is the proliferation of the light, not the damnation of all that is dark.

There exists a gray area of enlightenment and there are those who are called to the ministry of exposing the dark. For those who choose this mission, they are willing to forfeit all the benefits of being fully engulfed in the light for the greater good, the warriors who battle against the darkness. There is room in the coming age for all peoples of all callings and each of us plays a critical role.

For you, you are answering the call of unconditional love and pure light, if you dare, and others who are on a similar path will be drawn to you, and you to them, for all of us are necessary for the evolutionary expansion of our world and its inhabitants. Here there is no judgment, only each individual pursuing their own calling, collectively we are all part of the expansion of love and light.

One day, the darkness will no longer be sustainable, and light will prevail.

A world of light and love is what we all have hope for once enlightenment reaches critical mass.

Feeling Bad About Negative Feelings

It’s okay to feel bad. Sometimes, the motivation to be positive or to consistently be a good influence on those around you can make you feel like you cannot allow your positive persona to be interrupted by feeling negative. If you do have negative feelings, you might like to cover it up or push it down, and for god’s sake don’t let anyone see your emotional falter because you wouldn’t want anyone to misinterpret any upset in your powerful baseline as weakness.

Are you a human being? Don’t you think others might be able to feel closer to you if you occasionally allow your humanity to show through? You are not a deity. You are a man or a woman making your own way through this life, just like anyone else. Yes, you want to remain positive, but you don’t want to separate yourself from the rest of humanity so much that you are no longer a member of the human race.

There are few cases in history where the attempt to do so wasn’t met with severe emotional conflict. A mentor of mine used to say, “Don’t become so spiritually-minded that you’re no earthly good.” Be in the world but not of the world. In essence being here but also maintaining a residence elsewhere simultaneously.

Here, amidst humanity, we all express a wide range of emotions, and you must find a way (or ways) to express these emotions. To not do so is a denial of the human condition, and your psychology and physiology will deteriorate, health will decline, and you may put yourself at risk of disease, psychotic breakdown, rapid aging, or a premature exit from the human condition altogether.

Yes, being positive and maintaining high vibrational states is preferred. St. Paul encourages us to fix our thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. To think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8) which is integral to the maintenance of higher vibrations of the power of love.

You must also allow for the natural ebb and flow of life, especially if you intend to grow because the greatest growth spurts take place in the time of struggle, when things appear to not be going so well. You need both the good and the bad to move to the next level, sometimes more than others.

This complexity in life gives us the ability to enjoy all the richness this life has to offer. This contrast, as Esther Hicks says, “knowing what you don’t want helps you to know what you do want.” This is the balance of life, enabling you to know what it is that you want less of and what you desire more of in your life. You, then, can make the necessary adjustments in your life accordingly.

Your intention to remain so positive can keep you from seeing potential obstacles or danger. It is prudent to keep one foot on the ground, aware of your surroundings in the “real world” to avoid finding yourself in an undesirable predicament, or to find yourself falling into complacency.

Adversity leads you into growth, allowing you to come to increased clarity about what you want, empowering you to delineate specific goal for further advancement and achievement. In essence, being able to squeeze all the best juiciness out of all this life has to offer, all thanks to those less than desirable moments in this life.

A natural emotional response to not feeling right, or having negative emotions, might be to reject these feeling or to push them away but they are really an attention-getting pique to your awareness if instead, you start to look within, rather than to become defensive.

Since these feelings are in contrast to what you want, it is an exciting opportunity to break your positive flow, which is just comfortable enough that you can glide unaware of your surroundings, in a kind of sacred trance. This interruption can break your state or being just enough to look for new opportunities for potential alternative exploration, growth, or expansion.

The more you push against a thought with your consciousness, the more it expands in your unconscious mind, where the lower vibration undermines your ability to remain in higher vibrations in the background. This is why the Law of Attraction doesn’t care whether you want a thing or don’t want a thing. It is attracted to you whether you want it or not.

It’s like telling yourself not to think of a lemon. The more you resist a thought, the more apparent it becomes either consciously or unconsciously. This is also the nature of nightmares, where your unconscious mind runs rampant, unbridled by your conscious mind’s ability to squash your thoughts.

There is wisdom in inviting and allowing the negativity to flow over you, even to allow yourself to be fully engulfed by negative emotion for a predetermined period of time. In a sense surrendering to it in an effort to fully feel it. After fully expressed, you can examine the source, or look around for new opportunities which may be trying to expose themselves to your awareness.

In some cases, just letting it out and letting it go is all that is necessary.

Looking within yourself when your regular flow of life is interrupted by negative emotions might be the door through which you must pass to become aware of some lingering deep inner work longing to be addressed.

You might want to find or create a safe space or the company of another who will hold the sacred space for your expression of these negative emotions without fear of judgment.

Embrace the fullness of life, the good, the bad, and the potential for change, growth, exploration, and expansion.

An amazing journey lies ahead.

Expectations in Relationships

Being on the outside looking in at your relationship, you’re likely to see all the superficial things that appear to be contrary to the acceptable view of what a good relationship might look like. When you look at your relationship with your head instead of your heart, you can appear like two people contractually bound to each other, not unlike a prison confinement.

No one wants to be obligated to someone else by contractual agreement. If you’re with someone, and he or she is expecting you to perform or cater to their needs, wants, and desires, you would rather do it because you want to, not out of obligation or fear.

It’s natural to want to impose your expectations onto someone else. If you’re in a romantic relationship with someone with whom you would completely faithful, it’s natural to project your expectation of faithfulness on your partner. Seeing your partner through this filter of expectation can leave you feeling shocked by any indication that he or she may not be as faithful as you had expected.

People are vastly variant, and it is very rare that people will actually be on the same page at the same time, if ever. But you can establish common ground by open communication, sharing and caring, and having a clear understanding of each other and full knowledge about where each of you is.

Deliver the death-blow to any budding relationship by imposing expectations garnered from previous relationships onto your current one. For instance, if your previous partner massaged your feet before going to bed, don’t expect this to come naturally to your new partner. On the other side of the coin, if your previous partner betrayed you, it doesn’t mean your current partner will follow in kind. Everyone is different, and if you have negative expectations, your energetic attention to these details and their red flags may become a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Disappointment and hurt feelings are the rewards for imposed expectations. When you are feeling as though your partner has betrayed you (not met your expectations) it may be time for a heart-to-heart conversation. Note that while people are vastly different, they also change over time, and something that your partner may have done for you in the past, he or she may have outgrown. This type of open communication and renegotiation is something that must be conducted over time, any time you think your partner may have acted in some way that you didn’t expect.

Just because you thought someone was going to act/think/believe/be a certain way, doesn’t mean they are the way you perceived them to be. Even if you’ve agreed and pledged to treat each other in certain ways, this does not consider the potential for growth, change, or evolution.

Growth necessitates change, and if anything is constant in life, change is. The best way you can position yourself in an ever-changing world is to embrace change and to find a way to accept change when the time for it has come.

Your expectation to know certain things about your partner may both say something about your underlying need to know or have proof of something, and if your partner is feeling the need to not disclose something may say something significant about him or her. All this points toward a need to have a potentially difficult conversation to maintain a healthy couple connection.

Who knows?

If you are able to manage having a realistic relationship, accepting the potential for growth and change, without unreasonable expectations, you may find yourself entering new territory. The territory which leads to awakening to true love, unconditional love, if you dare.

Accepting Responsibility and Change

We all make decisions in the moment that affect the rest of our lives. These are those pivotal places in life which disrupt the current path of our lives, changing the direction, plan, and purpose of our lives completely.

There is nothing wrong with this. There is no wrong way to make a decision or take an action which changes the rest of your life forever, for no matter what you do, it is always divine in nature.

There is no need to second-guess or apologize for anything you say or do result in your ability to change your life. When the result causes a significant change of direction in your life, this is always for your highest and best.

Your life might be in need of a drastic change, and most likely whenever this massive readjustment takes place, you are not going to feel good about it. You may feel good about the change in the beginning, only to second-guess your decisions or actions later. You may discover that others (possibly even yourself) might try to make you feel guilty about making such a major adjustment.

Guilt is nothing that serves you, so reject the idea of it at every opportunity. You may have remorse because you would have rather something had gone or turned out differently than you expected but feeling guilty is a fear-based emotion which seeks to tear at your emotional fabric and intends to destroy your individuality.

You must find peace in accepting things as they are (what is accepting what is?), honoring regret without succumbing to remorse.

Maybe, if given the chance to do it over, you would have handled the details differently, but the truth of the matter is that things unfolded the way they did. You did the best you could in the moment that changed everything, and you did so perfectly. Want a do-over?

Yes, things changed, and this is the essence of a life full of opportunities for growth and change, increasing the possibilities exponentially throughout your life as it ripples throughout the lives of others.

These life choices, challenges, or changes in life circumstances enable us to grow and expand beyond that which would have been possible had we stayed in a sedimentary or dormant vibration.

People in your life may not have the same respect for growth and change, and they may try to intimidate or impose psychological pressure on you in an effort to persuade you to stay the same. There is a certain comfort in sameness, which hinders growth and supports mediocrity. You needn’t settle for mediocrity.

If you’ve chosen the pursuit of a life path which is open to change then opportunities to change will present themselves, and if your life is not changing, then you’re not doing it right.

You are not flawed, and you’re never doing it wrong, no matter what anyone says. You are simply making your own way and honoring your God-given right to do so.

It was never your intention to offend or hurt anyone in the process. If anyone was offended or hurt, you may regret your part in their pain, and vow to do it differently, better than the last time. This is part of your learning and growth process.

No one knows better than I, that even with the best intentions, the outcome did not unfold as I expected and people (even including myself) were hurt in the process. For this, I have profound regret, but my heart was pure. I accept responsibility for those things I cannot change, apologize when appropriate, and vow to learn and try to do better if ever I revisit a similar circumstance.

Your journey is one unlike any other, and we can’t wait to see you live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Reduce Conflict at Home

Isn’t it time to reduce conflict at home? Sometimes people just can’t seem to get along and this leads to a lot of conflict at home, work, school, among friends, and even while driving. When you get upset at something that someone else does, says, or communicates in some other way, you are likely to experience some degree of stress.

The greatest stressors will be initiated by those whom you know the best, the people within your family. While the family unit is no stranger to stress, if there are little witnesses to these active familial stressors, they will be affected the most. This is how children learn to interact with others, and this follows them into adulthood, even if they cannot consciously recall these events.

Even if the conflict does not engage the children directly, they are still being affected by these stressful situations. If you don’t believe me, just think back to familial conflicts which you witnessed when you were a child. How does that affect the way you handle stress and conflict today?

If you have children around watching your interactions with your family, you might consider taking a break or a timeout, the next time you feel tensions building. Maybe you can reason with the person you’re experiencing the conflict with and pick up the discussion at a different place and time. You might be surprised that delaying the discussion will allow you both to revisit the topic when emotions are not running as high.

This works for adults, adults interacting children, and among children as well.

This can have a tremendous effect on reducing the familial stress in relationships, also, it gives whoever might be inclined to do some deep inner work time to reflect on his or her own past to see if there are any hidden anchors from the past triggering the feelings which are being experienced in the moment.

If you are in a relationship with someone and are not able to manage taking a break or timeout, then you might consider seeking a relationship coach, counselor, consultant, or a member of the clergy, whatever appeals to you and seek assistance from a qualified third party, someone you can trust.

There are many techniques which can be applied to any type of relationship which will reduce both conflict and stress, and it’s up to you to check it out and take the appropriate steps to change your life. No one else is going to do it for you.

This is your life, and those whom you care about deserve not to be impaired by your lack of control, and left to itself unhindered by someone’s drawing explicit boundaries, not seeing eye to eye, or having different points of view, could turn into an abusive situation.

If ever, any relationship is visited by abuse, you have the right and the responsibility to stop the abuse. You are never required to fight back if there is abuse. Just take the steps necessary to isolate yourself from any further abuse.

This takes a great deal of courage and determination, but you can do it.

You have zero tolerance for abuse.

Love and the Past

We are all haunted by the demons which haunt us from our past. As much as we try to do our best to move forward to enjoy the best things in life, without victory over the past, the issues which we hold close to our hearts, those things which we have loved, lost, and hurt our feelings continue to haunt us.

Being a victim of the past disempowers us and gives the power we could potentially wield to those people, situations, and circumstances which overtake our attention, preventing us from enjoying to the fullest the best things this life has to offer. Left to themselves, this unresolved trauma can overtake you and ruin any possibility of having any hope of experiencing prolonged joy.

Relationships trigger these memories and the emotions connected to them, bringing them to the surface, even if we’re unaware of what’s happening. Unless you know this is what’s happening, it could have a negative impact on the relationship.

If you can look at this as a gift from God, as a way to bring our hidden emotional demons to the surface so we can deal with and exorcise them, then it will not seem so much like a curse or irrational pain on the loose.

Left unresolved, issues from your past will continue to appear affecting the lens through which you see life and all relationships. Therefore, if you have unresolved issues with a parent (could be anyone or any experience from your past) which you’ve pushed down way inside and may not even be conscious of, this will color intimate relationships as you are given the opportunity to deal with those issues which do not serve you.

Ignored opportunities will look as though you are overreacting to something that would otherwise be perceived as a minimal challenge, insignificant, or benign. Yet, here you are, all emotionally charged up, being ruled by the very thing which needs to be brought up and cleared.

We are all triggered and react in different ways when this opportunity presents itself.

This is God’s invitation for you to deal with and heal hidden or ignored trauma from the past. Without this natural mechanism of using relationships to allow unresolved issues from the past to appear, you would forever be a victim of the past.

God wants you to be free, to enjoy life, and have victory over the past.

To have victory over the past you must be brave and courageous to face the virtual demons of the past that haunt you.

It’s not enough to ignore the past and pretend that it just didn’t happen. This will only allow those issues to slowly eat away at you, robbing you of joy, promoting the deterioration of your immune system leading to disease and advanced aging, even premature mortality.

Some of the trauma from the past will have you seeing yourself vulnerable and a potential victim of abuse from those who are closest to you when no threat is actually present.

7 Phases of Love

You may also have feelings of fear, unworthiness, feeling as though you cannot be truly understood, disrespected, feeling as though you are being unjustly criticized, and the inability to trust other people. You are easily offended and are poised to defend yourself, always on the alert for some potential threat.

These are just a few of the signs that may be calling you to look within, especially if it appears to be a reaction which might be considered excessive based on the facts when viewed objectively.

When they appear, have the courage to look inside. The feelings you are experiencing may not have anything to do with your partner (though admittedly, it may feel like it at the time), it may be an unresolved issue from your past begging to be unearthed and set free.

Love brings these things to the surface, and love is the key that unlocks the trunk where all the things holding you back are contained within.

If you do not take the opportunity to deal with these issues, you are likely to project them on your partner and your potential for true love may not be recognized or available to you.

The good news is that love is never failing, and you will be presented with another opportunity to deal with these issues when the next opportunity for love arises.