Accepting Responsibility and Change

We all make decisions in the moment that affect the rest of our lives. These are those pivotal places in life which disrupt the current path of our lives, changing the direction, plan, and purpose of our lives completely.

There is nothing wrong with this. There is no wrong way to make a decision or take an action which changes the rest of your life forever, for no matter what you do, it is always divine in nature.

There is no need to second-guess or apologize for anything you say or do result in your ability to change your life. When the result causes a significant change of direction in your life, this is always for your highest and best.

Your life might be in need of a drastic change, and most likely whenever this massive readjustment takes place, you are not going to feel good about it. You may feel good about the change in the beginning, only to second-guess your decisions or actions later. You may discover that others (possibly even yourself) might try to make you feel guilty about making such a major adjustment.

Guilt is nothing that serves you, so reject the idea of it at every opportunity. You may have remorse because you would have rather something had gone or turned out differently than you expected but feeling guilty is a fear-based emotion which seeks to tear at your emotional fabric and intends to destroy your individuality.

You must find peace in accepting things as they are (what is accepting what is?), honoring regret without succumbing to remorse.

Maybe, if given the chance to do it over, you would have handled the details differently, but the truth of the matter is that things unfolded the way they did. You did the best you could in the moment that changed everything, and you did so perfectly. Want a do-over?

Yes, things changed, and this is the essence of a life full of opportunities for growth and change, increasing the possibilities exponentially throughout your life as it ripples throughout the lives of others.

These life choices, challenges, or changes in life circumstances enable us to grow and expand beyond that which would have been possible had we stayed in a sedimentary or dormant vibration.

People in your life may not have the same respect for growth and change, and they may try to intimidate or impose psychological pressure on you in an effort to persuade you to stay the same. There is a certain comfort in sameness, which hinders growth and supports mediocrity. You needn’t settle for mediocrity.

If you’ve chosen the pursuit of a life path which is open to change then opportunities to change will present themselves, and if your life is not changing, then you’re not doing it right.

You are not flawed, and you’re never doing it wrong, no matter what anyone says. You are simply making your own way and honoring your God-given right to do so.

It was never your intention to offend or hurt anyone in the process. If anyone was offended or hurt, you may regret your part in their pain, and vow to do it differently, better than the last time. This is part of your learning and growth process.

No one knows better than I, that even with the best intentions, the outcome did not unfold as I expected and people (even including myself) were hurt in the process. For this, I have profound regret, but my heart was pure. I accept responsibility for those things I cannot change, apologize when appropriate, and vow to learn and try to do better if ever I revisit a similar circumstance.

Your journey is one unlike any other, and we can’t wait to see you live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Reduce Conflict at Home

Isn’t it time to reduce conflict at home? Sometimes people just can’t seem to get along and this leads to a lot of conflict at home, work, school, among friends, and even while driving. When you get upset at something that someone else does, says, or communicates in some other way, you are likely to experience some degree of stress.

The greatest stressors will be initiated by those whom you know the best, the people within your family. While the family unit is no stranger to stress, if there are little witnesses to these active familial stressors, they will be affected the most. This is how children learn to interact with others, and this follows them into adulthood, even if they cannot consciously recall these events.

Even if the conflict does not engage the children directly, they are still being affected by these stressful situations. If you don’t believe me, just think back to familial conflicts which you witnessed when you were a child. How does that affect the way you handle stress and conflict today?

If you have children around watching your interactions with your family, you might consider taking a break or a timeout, the next time you feel tensions building. Maybe you can reason with the person you’re experiencing the conflict with and pick up the discussion at a different place and time. You might be surprised that delaying the discussion will allow you both to revisit the topic when emotions are not running as high.

This works for adults, adults interacting children, and among children as well.

This can have a tremendous effect on reducing the familial stress in relationships, also, it gives whoever might be inclined to do some deep inner work time to reflect on his or her own past to see if there are any hidden anchors from the past triggering the feelings which are being experienced in the moment.

If you are in a relationship with someone and are not able to manage taking a break or timeout, then you might consider seeking a relationship coach, counselor, consultant, or a member of the clergy, whatever appeals to you and seek assistance from a qualified third party, someone you can trust.

There are many techniques which can be applied to any type of relationship which will reduce both conflict and stress, and it’s up to you to check it out and take the appropriate steps to change your life. No one else is going to do it for you.

This is your life, and those whom you care about deserve not to be impaired by your lack of control, and left to itself unhindered by someone’s drawing explicit boundaries, not seeing eye to eye, or having different points of view, could turn into an abusive situation.

If ever, any relationship is visited by abuse, you have the right and the responsibility to stop the abuse. You are never required to fight back if there is abuse. Just take the steps necessary to isolate yourself from any further abuse.

This takes a great deal of courage and determination, but you can do it.

You have zero tolerance for abuse.

Love and the Past

We are all haunted by the demons which haunt us from our past. As much as we try to do our best to move forward to enjoy the best things in life, without victory over the past, the issues which we hold close to our hearts, those things which we have loved, lost, and hurt our feelings continue to haunt us.

Being a victim of the past disempowers us and gives the power we could potentially wield to those people, situations, and circumstances which overtake our attention, preventing us from enjoying to the fullest the best things this life has to offer. Left to themselves, this unresolved trauma can overtake you and ruin any possibility of having any hope of experiencing prolonged joy.

Relationships trigger these memories and the emotions connected to them, bringing them to the surface, even if we’re unaware of what’s happening. Unless you know this is what’s happening, it could have a negative impact on the relationship.

If you can look at this as a gift from God, as a way to bring our hidden emotional demons to the surface so we can deal with and exorcise them, then it will not seem so much like a curse or irrational pain on the loose.

Left unresolved, issues from your past will continue to appear affecting the lens through which you see life and all relationships. Therefore, if you have unresolved issues with a parent (could be anyone or any experience from your past) which you’ve pushed down way inside and may not even be conscious of, this will color intimate relationships as you are given the opportunity to deal with those issues which do not serve you.

Ignored opportunities will look as though you are overreacting to something that would otherwise be perceived as a minimal challenge, insignificant, or benign. Yet, here you are, all emotionally charged up, being ruled by the very thing which needs to be brought up and cleared.

We are all triggered and react in different ways when this opportunity presents itself.

This is God’s invitation for you to deal with and heal hidden or ignored trauma from the past. Without this natural mechanism of using relationships to allow unresolved issues from the past to appear, you would forever be a victim of the past.

God wants you to be free, to enjoy life, and have victory over the past.

To have victory over the past you must be brave and courageous to face the virtual demons of the past that haunt you.

It’s not enough to ignore the past and pretend that it just didn’t happen. This will only allow those issues to slowly eat away at you, robbing you of joy, promoting the deterioration of your immune system leading to disease and advanced aging, even premature mortality.

Some of the trauma from the past will have you seeing yourself vulnerable and a potential victim of abuse from those who are closest to you when no threat is actually present.

7 Phases of Love

You may also have feelings of fear, unworthiness, feeling as though you cannot be truly understood, disrespected, feeling as though you are being unjustly criticized, and the inability to trust other people. You are easily offended and are poised to defend yourself, always on the alert for some potential threat.

These are just a few of the signs that may be calling you to look within, especially if it appears to be a reaction which might be considered excessive based on the facts when viewed objectively.

When they appear, have the courage to look inside. The feelings you are experiencing may not have anything to do with your partner (though admittedly, it may feel like it at the time), it may be an unresolved issue from your past begging to be unearthed and set free.

Love brings these things to the surface, and love is the key that unlocks the trunk where all the things holding you back are contained within.

If you do not take the opportunity to deal with these issues, you are likely to project them on your partner and your potential for true love may not be recognized or available to you.

The good news is that love is never failing, and you will be presented with another opportunity to deal with these issues when the next opportunity for love arises.

Let Go or Be Dragged

Thank God for saving me from a far worse fate

Sometimes you get all wrapped up in someone or something; heart, body, mind, and soul. Then when things start to go awry and its clearly time to move on, you don’t want to go. You’re not ready for the change. Maybe things aren’t the best they could be but they’re good enough, and you’re attached, deeply connected, and have a sense of safety and security even amidst all the chaos.

So you hang on.

The whole universe hints and brings you opportunities to do something different in your best interest, but you resist. Then all the powers beyond what we experience in the third dimension rally to champion for you.

God and all of creation knows there is something better waiting for you, but you don’t want to go, for a million reasons, mostly embedded in fear. You made promises. You’re dependable and exemplify truth and integrity. You feel obligated like the whole world is watching you, and you hold yourself to impossible standards because you want to be an example of doing the right thing, etc…

You persist, and God turns up the heat and all His angels champion to save you from this so that you can be ushered into your highest and best in a world that you cannot see and still you refuse to leave the toxicity and chaos.

Your life, the life as you know it, takes control of you, like a powerful addiction, and you refuse to let go, as you cannot possibly imagine life being any other way. You find ways to rationalize this is your lot in life and you succumb to the drone of everyday life defending it with every fiber of your being.

Your Guardian Angel shakes his head, thinking, “How long will it take for you to realize that life is full of changes and growth?” You’ve been fighting against yourself and all the energy and love in the world is beckoning you to change direction enough to be able to get a glimpse of what’s been waiting for you all this time.

Let Go or Be Dragged

If you continue to fight, your Guardian Angel must (if you leave your angel no other choice), will drag you, kicking and screaming, away from that station in life which is not serving you, and maybe leading you down the wrong path, even though you can’t see it at the time.

You’ve fought for your right to this struggle and now it’s come to this, your life is going to have to change and you will be forced to grow against your wishes. This will be a lengthy and painful process, but you left God no other choice.

Grieve

Accepting what is, will be hard, and the grieving process will be difficult to say the least, probably one of the hardest passages you will have to endure, but you can make it. You are love. You are loved. No one will ask you endure more than you can bear.

Don’t Fight

If you haven’t learned by now, the most valuable lesson you can learn is not to fight. Do not resist the opportunities for growth and change. The less resistance, the easier it will be for you.

And when the smoke clears, you will be able to see that all this adversity allowed you to be in the right place and the right time to usher you to a better life, your best life, enabled you to make a greater contribution and make the world a better place.

And if you’re like me, you will fall to your knees and thank God,

“Thank you, God,
for ripping my heart out!”

Thank you for the misery, the heartache, the destruction, allowing me to be stripped of all my pride because if it weren’t for my being dragged to death (that’s what it felt like), I would never have been in a position to achieve my highest and best.

Now, I can see that where I was, had me headed for a far more destructive end. As painful as it was, I was saved from mediocrity, disaster, and from myself.

Gratitude

Thank you, Jesus, for letting me go through the fire, preparing, and purifying me for You had in store for me.

Let me not resist when You want to lead me to something better.

Love, love, and more love.

-Amen.

Why Do Opposites Attract?

When you met, you thought you had so much in common, as you spend more and more time together you discover you have less and less in common. As a matter of fact, the more you think about it… You and he/she are total opposites. You’re feeling the urge to cut and run, and your friends are, like, “Hell yeah.” You can’t help but wonder, “Why do opposites attract?”

So much attention is focused on trying to find similarities in relationships these days that the idea of celebrating the differences would seem ludicrous at best.

In the most successful relationships (not the most manageable or easiest couplings) partners play off each other and the more different you are, the more potential for growth and expansion together.

After having unsuccessfully finding yourself engaged in a relationship with an opposite, you might think, “Who would sign up for that?” I mean, it’s a full-on cluster… and regardless of how tragic it may have been, you’re likely to say (if not now, then later), “but the good times were really good.”

It’s these good times that are indicators of something far superior in the realm of possibilities in the not too far distant future if you’re willing to do the work.

You might think that being a pair of lovebirds would be far superior to being a hawk and a prairie dog trying to manage a relationship. A pair of lovebirds can only expect to experience a certain degree of excitement or growth due to their similarities while the opposites can celebrate their differences, and have the most exciting opportunities for evolutionary advancement in the perfect push/pull balance.

These differences substantiate the idea that your partner should be a mirror for you to reflect who you really are. This feels like an insult or assault, at first, until you look inside and find that your response is tied to an aspect of you, hidden deep within, which is looking for resolution.

“But,” you interrupt, “We’re just too different.”

The fact that you’re in this relationship of opposites is in divine order. This is your opportunity to really move your love and your life to the next level.

If so, you ask,

“How could we possibly get along?”

It’s not easy. It’s a challenge, an opportunity, and a blessing. Your opposite person is the perfect person to help you expand and grow into the highest and best version of yourself. In order to do so, you must be willing to put forth some effort in getting to know your opposite, what makes him or her tick, what sets them off and what makes them connect deeply and be willing to open themselves fully, bearing all of their vulnerabilities, while having faith that you will protect him or her throughout this process. And the same goes for you.

One of you may be loud, the other quiet. One of you seeks the limelight, the other the safety of blending into the audience. One might like to go out, the other more likely to want to stay in. While this couple would be an all-out train wreck in social circles, singles sites, and matchmakers, these two have the makings of the most magnificent marriage.

Why Do Opposites Attract?

We don’t just get to be the way we are overnight. No, we are the result of a lifetime of trial and error. When you were very young, a baby, you either learned that being loud was the way to get the attention you sought, or you discovered that being quiet provided you with your desired response, and so your personality and relationship skills grow from there, making you the kind of person you are today.

You are attracted to the type of person who would complete you, who can assist you in resolving the issues of your past, and find that higher form of love which was in you before you were born, that divinely powerful and unfailing love for yourself and others. The perfect person for you to go on this journey with would be quite unlike you, if not your total opposite. The highest version of you will attract this type of mate because it longs to evolve in truth and love.

Everything is energy, and energy can be expressed and manipulated either by being amplified or constricted, as exemplified in extroverts or introverts.

Even though you are an amazing person, just the way you are, can you say you have achieved your highest and best? Could a better life be waiting for you?

Celebrating your differences and creating sacred relational space for your opposite to thrive (or retreat to) comes from being open, aware, vulnerable and compassionate. Yes, it’s a give-and-take, and make room for a bit of stress or strain, for nothing amazingly magnificent comes from no effort, no commitment, no discomfort, no work.

By aligning yourself with an opposite and moving forward, you begin to realize that what appeared to be problematic obstacles, were really only the catalyst for creative tension leading the way to evolutionary expansion.

Over time, as you both experience metamorphosis throughout the tenure of your relationship, you do find yourselves in a synchronous relationship in harmony, deeper love, connection, and intimacy, if you continue to do the work.

Here you are, on the brink of utter amazing possibilities and you feel like breaking weak and turning tail to run in the opposite direction, which what you really should do is to draw closer, closer, and even more closer because you really do want the best this life has to offer.

Sure, you could settle for easy or doable, but something inside you wants something more than mediocrity in this life.

If your relationship looks like a disaster in the making, think about it and search inside, and ask yourself,

“Is this potentially your best hook up ever?”

So, buckle up buttercup, because you’re in for the ride of your life if you dare to take on embracing your opposite and forging your new path together into a glorious future which lies ahead.

Growing It Alone

It can get lonely when you’re growing it alone.

You are courageously in the process of doing some advanced inner work few others could fully understand. This is deep inner work that would frighten anyone else if they could even allow themselves to conceive of taking on such a task.

You need to be able to carve out a little safe space in your social matrix as well as in your mind and your heart where you can be honest and open with how you’re feeling about this process and the road that you’re on. There might not be anyone else, no other person in your social circle, who could understand what you’re going through or how you’re feeling, but you are there.

You can, and need to be, honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. You had felt so connected to the thoughts and ideals which gave you a false sense of security, but still, you felt safe, surrounded by other people who felt the same way. Now that you’re in a state of metamorphosis, evolving, and shedding your socialized skin, it’s completely normal to feel like you’re all alone or frightened of the unknown from time to time. You might even feel like abandoning your decision to allow yourself to evolve and continue growing into a higher version of yourself altogether, and go back the familiar, the way things were.

It’s okay to have these feelings. We, all of us do, anytime we embark on a journey leading to something new. When we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory, we long for home. It’s a normal, natural part of growth. Honor the past with a sense of nostalgia, there were good times. Times when you felt safe and secure, and things weren’t quite as scary; remember them. It is good to let yourself reflect back on the good things in life.

Your mind is a very active machine, left to its own devices, it’s bound to come up with all kinds of ways to distract you from anything your growing heart consciousness might have in mind. You might think that people you once felt close too are rejecting you and your decision to choose this growth and advancement, but more likely they are secretly admiring your courage to attempt such a thing that they themselves would not have the courage or the wherewithal to do. So, they sit back in the shadows, secretly hoping that you will continue this journey, breaking out and breaking through. If you don’t make it and come back to your former life, they will be there to welcome you back and console you, but there will be a part of them that secretly hoped you would have made it. Because if you had, it would mean there is still hope for them.

Even in your relationship…

If you’re in a romantic relationship with someone, don’t make assumptions about what he or she might be thinking about your growth process. Create a safe place where the two of you can connect and you can talk openly about your adventures in growth. Even if he or she doesn’t fully understand, they should have an appreciation for the work you’re doing. Let your partner know that your growth and expansion is not threatening the relationship. It would be a normal concern that your lives may be leading in totally different directions, but it doesn’t mean the end of your relationship. In fact, it can make your relationship far better than either of you could imagine, because as you change, your relationship changes, too, without any extended effort on your part. It is a natural law.

As your relationship changes, staying connected, open and honest with your partner is paramount, if your relationship is to survive. Your expansion may call for changes to the patterns you previously contacted to sustain. These may be unhealthy or incongruent with your new life. So, without judgment or ridicule, simply being honest and open and renegotiating the parameters of your old relationship style will lead to growth and expansion of your relationship.

In this safe, heart-to-heart place, feel free to share your feelings, and encourage your partner to do likewise. And when your partner speaks, listen attentively. Let your partner ask questions, and answer them as best you can. Don’t compare you in your growth process to your partner’s. This is not a competition and no one has superiority over the other in this space. You are always equal, each doing the best you can with what you have, and you can remain as “one” throughout your journeys.

If you’re having trouble communicating, it’s okay (if not advised) to seek out third-party assistance to avoid losing the connection with your partner. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to join with you to speak to clergy, a counselor, therapist or coach in an effort to find ways to work it out.

And in the event that you do end up growing apart, continue to love and bless each other as you both continue your separate journeys. Plus, you never know, sometimes people who have taken separate routes end up at the same location. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. You might be surprised one day to look over and find your partner standing right next to you. It happens.

No one knows, better than you, even if you’re feeling lonely, you are never alone.

Celebrate Growth in Fashion

Okay, you’ve been growing, changing, sacrificing, saying “goodbye” to your old destructive pattern and, “hello” to the new, and improved, a more expanded consciousness of your new self. You’re loving yourself more, and now it’s time to show yourself a little love by shopping and celebrating your growth in fashion.

The new you desires to be exposed, not hidden away, like the shadows of your past. When people look at you, they see something different. It’s time to let your difference shine. You are looking better, feeling better, your body and its immune system are getting better. You’re healthier and embracing life, so go ahead. Treat yourself to some new threads to affirm the new you.

Uh oh, here come the haters… “No,” they say, “You can’t do that,” as if to say you’re better than that. You know, you’ve seen ‘em, those holier-than-thou spiritual types who should be reported directly to the fashion police. To them, they feel that a well-kept and fashionable appearance (and frequent bathing) is not appropriate for the more spiritually advanced.

That’s a different topic, entirely. Don’t let them dissuade you from celebrating your new life because you’re living a better life, your best life and making the world a better place. You’re no longer a rat in the race, you’re establishing a whole new pace, and it’s time to celebrate.

It’s possible that the old fearful you was often sacrificed for the benefit of others, but this new you… It is courageous and longs to be recognized and celebrated by you. It wants to be adorned making your inner him or her shine through, and it’s perfectly okay if others notice.

Now, I’m not saying to go overboard and max out all your credit cards in celebration of your new perspective on life. What I am saying is that it’s okay (if not necessary) to demonstrate a little self-love to your inner girl or boy by letting him or her play dress up every once and a while.

And if your negative self-talk starts to rear its head and begin mind-chatter about your unworthiness, squash it. You are worthy and you deserve this little treat. As a matter of fact, it may have been a long time coming, and the time has come.

This is not about frivolous excess, it’s about rewarding yourself for a job well done. You’ve done the work, the deep inner work, that would be so frightening to someone else that they would not ever dare to conceive of taking on such a challenge. But you have.

It’s time to express yourself authentically, in honoring and nurturing the wonderfully amazing person that you are evolving into. So, go pick out something beautiful, something that genuinely represents who you are, or even something fun, to celebrate your authenticity and individuality.

Let others see you for who you are. You are more self-confident, generous, use words that exude kindness and compassion. You’re honoring the temple of your body, are mindful of what you put in it and how you treat it. You respect who you are and present yourself as a clean, deserving and well-kept student, today.

This radical celebration of self-love raises your vibration and you will see good things coming your way as they are being attracted to the new you and your exuberant presence.

You are both blessed and a blessing to others.

You are worthy. You have done the work and are continuing to do so.

This is your day.

Enjoy.

5 Steps Toward a Better LIfe

“I can’t seem to get in the groove for a better life.”

You know you want a better life, but you just can’t seem to gain enough momentum to make any significant progress, creating separation from your old life.

We all know, that you can’t expect change to come if you’re stuck in a rut and continue to do the same ol’ same ol’. So, here are some changes you can make to start rocking your new life.

1. Unplug

If you’re plugged into media streams via television, radio, or any other of the available media streams or devices, turn them off, or unplug them all together. Nothing will suck the potential new life from you and drag you back down to lower vibrations than feeding through the media IV.

And it’s not just the Constant Negative News (CNN), this includes sitcoms, late night TV, Netflix, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat… all of it. Not only do these distract you from achieving your highest and best, they create an incredible loss of time. Time which could be better spent doing anything else. Time which can never be recovered.

“But,” you interject, “Facebook,” or any other interactive media stream, “is a part of my,” (insert somewhat valid excuse) business promotional campaign, ministry, or how I stay connected to my family, etc. Okay, if you must stay connected, then do the responsible thing, monitor and meter your access. Limit yourself to 30 minutes a day.

Use all that extra time to work toward expanding the new you, creating your better life, or make the world a better place, in the real world.

2. Talk to You

When you’re on the path to a better life, chances are your negative self-talk will rear its ugly head in an attempt to dissuade you from changing your life.

You need to not let yourself get distracted by those critical inner voices from your dark past trying to drag you down with claims of your unworthiness, or taunting you, making fun of you, saying you’re not good enough, or are destined to fail, so why even try.

These inner victims have done a good job keep you stuck where you are in life. If you’re going to break free, all you need to do is correct the voice when it pops up. If it says, “You’re not educated enough,” then stop, correct it (do it out loud, if it’s not too embarrassing) by stating a positive reframing of it, like, “Lots of rich, famous, and influential people who have changed the world were not educated,” or some other positive statement and repeat it three times.

If you keep it up, you will find your inner voice begin to not only silence but start to encourage you to move forward. This is when you know you’re making positive progress.

3. People Up

What kind of people are you hanging out with?

There’s a strong connection between the folks you hang out with and where you are in your station in life.

In fact, it’s the number one reason why some people will never be able to exit a life of crime and will always be in trouble with the law because it’s a lifestyle, their family and friends are all in the same “line of work.”

If a criminal really wants to no longer live a life of crime, they need to get away from the hood and make new friends.

From an income point of view, it is said your income level and life view will be roughly equivalent to the five people you spend the most time commiserating with. So, who are they? What kind of life are they leading or promoting?

Do you have energy vampires, who suck the life (and possibly the resources) out of you, leaving nothing for you to focus on making a better life for yourself? Think about give them a less influential station in your social circle, or give them the boot altogether.

Surround yourself with positive, supportive people, who are the kind of people you want to be like. If they’re vibrating at a higher level, your vibration will raise when you’re around them.

Whether conscious or not, these people are shaping your life. If you want to change the shape of your life, changing these five people is a good way to get ‘er done.

4. Do Something

The doers are the people who actually change the world. Rarely does a dreamer make a significant change in society, the world, or their own life by just imagining it, or by repeating positive affirmations. The people who make significant changes in their lives and the world take action. They do something.

You need to do something that is outside of your current routine, that will build up reserves in your new personal escrow account, which will contribute to your new life.

Do something every day. It doesn’t have to be huge, and it will have an accumulative effect on your new life.

5. Heart On

Get to know who you are at your core, as a person, as an extension of all there is in life. Your heart is the central point of your nervous system and has powers you can only imagine.

For men, getting in touch with your gut – your gut feelings – is all about knowing who you are and staying congruent with your true identity, the person you were always meant to be. That person is waiting to come to life, and it’s up to you to let it loose.

For women, it’s your heart, which speaks for itself. You know when something is right or wrong by the feeling in your chest. This is your heart, looking after you, guiding you, even though you may not pay attention to it much, now is the time to start living by your heart.

No matter where it’s felt, in the gut or in the chest, it’s all about the heart baby, and love is the conduit that powers it and ties us all – all things – together.

Get your heart on, start living a life of love for a better life, a better world and a better tomorrow.

7 Points of Evolving Expansion

One of the components of evolutionary expansion is the ability to allow base beliefs to expand beyond the primitive definitions which you have been groomed to hold onto with every fiber of your being. Even so, with all that familial and social programming, something inside you is gently tapping on your shoulder, quietly whispering the question, “Is there something more?” Indeed, there is. Here are 7 points of evolving expansion that you may notice as contrasting as you continue to open, grow and change into the higher version of yourself.

1. Be a Good Person

We’re all told to be a good person, to not try to buck the system or be a rebel. There is a basic tenant which harkens to us to not be a bad person, to treat our fellow beings as we might like to have them treat us and to feel sorry for others who are struggling (maybe even lend them a hand in one way or another). Avoid criminal activity, obey the laws of the land, understand and reinforce the ideals of what is right and what is wrong, and influence others to comply.

Expanded Version

Evolving to the grander version of yourself includes allowing the good person that you’ve been raised to be to expand into an even better person, only this next level of goodness is not defined by others. The good person you’re becoming can only be defined by you, as the result of your expanding self, establishing a greater, more sensitive heart connection with the energies of life. This expanded good person is likely to see things quite differently than their other well-programmed and compliant neighbors. Still, the inclination to be a good person remains, though it takes on a new vitality and flavor than what others might definitively expect.

2. Gather and Believe

In the United States and other countries, this is usually an expectation to have an inclination to some kind of belief system. While some are more popular than others, there is a wide range of belief systems available for anyone to adhere to, everything from Catholicism to Atheism and then some.

Expanded Version

The expanded being begins to break free from the confines of any box which adheres to a specific and limited belief system. As you evolve you see that things are not as they appear to be and certainly not as you were led to believe. This opens the heart and the mind to new possibilities. While you may have a desire to continue with your present belief system, if you were to clearly voice your new revelations, or question the inappropriateness or inadequacies with their prescribed belief system, this could cause problems for you. You are developing your own belief system, which cannot be fit into someone else’s restrictive box of thought.

3. You and Your Self

You’ve been raised to believe that you must fight to preserve your sense of self. You know what you feel, want, believe and you are compelled to fight, or risk all to defend it. This is an egocentric point of view which keeps all of us separated from becoming one. Even in the sacred bond of marriage, or among blood relatives, this “fight for your right” mentality is pervasive, keeps and tears us apart. We form organizations, factions, religions, governments, laws and military forces to defend our separateness.

Expanded Version

As you evolve into the higher version of your self, your “self” decreases as you become more tolerant and tune into the vibration of love and independently connect more to the source of everything. As you bid your ego, Adieu, you can understand what Jesus meant when he said, “He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.” (Matthew 16:25) It doesn’t refer to your literal loss of life, but to your moving forward for the greater good, leaving your ego behind; not an easy thing to do. Your ego has been in the driver’s seat far too long to be willing to leave without a fight. Nonetheless, letting go of this part of your self is and welcomed and important part of your evolution.

4. When Bad Things Happen

The old you was programmed to get up and fight or sulk in sadness when things don’t go the way you want, always having to choose between accepting victimization or becoming the warrior willing to fight (compromise morals or commit crimes) for what you want, when things don’t go the way you expected. Ultimately, the powers that be are too powerful to do battle with, so most of us, sulk, fall into depression, or try to ease the pain by leaning on a wide variety of addictions which avail themselves to help us mitigate the damages and pain associated with having to accept our lowly lot in life.

Expanded Version

Your expanded-self looks at challenges, difficulties, inadequacies and incongruent ideas from an entirely new perspective. From this viewpoint above and outside yourself, without your ego in tow, you are more able to see things as they really are, not as you’ve been programmed to see them. You are understanding more that when Jesus said, “And we know that in all things God works for the good…” (Romans 8:28) that they truly do. “All things,” even the worst of things you could possibly imagine, all pave the way for something so far better, but we are more likely than not unable to see what good lays beyond the struggle we may be engaged in at the time. With this understanding, you are less prone to worry, and unable to be victimized, because you know there is something better not far off, eliminating what we previously considered, “bad things.” Now you’re realizing that these are only necessary changes of direction or attention.

5. Mistakes and Coincidences

You have been trained to believe that mistakes are bad, and you’ve learned to beat yourself up for your missteps and accept ridicule from others when you’ve stumbled. And coincidences, are just that; some unassociated or random thing that has transpired for no apparent reason, which could be a fortunate unexpected good thing (or a bad thing). In any case, these things, your unfortunate missteps and any coincidental manifestations are just that; random and disconnected. Sometimes stuff just happens; that is all.

Expanded Version

As you continue to evolve you begin to understand that there are no such things as mistakes or coincidence because you are becoming more aware of the divine connectedness in all things. You know that all mistakes carry with them a sacred treasure of a hidden message or learning that you may not have been able to receive having not gone through this process leading to your growth and attainment of more wisdom. This gives you a unique perspective and knowledge that is priceless to anyone who might be struggling with a similar set of circumstances. Then there are the coincidences, of course, you realize that these are divine gifts and blessings (or corrections) that all serve as blessed rewards or ways to put you back on the path to your highest and best.

6. Negative News

We are programmed to keep one ear and one eye (if not both of them) leaning on the newsfeed spoon-fed to us by the media, books, films, “reality shows” news coverage, and “live feeds” via the Internet. This exposure to mass media is the main source of disseminating your programming, in addition to and following your public or private schooling, to assure that you become a good citizen, amiable to the control of the powers-that-be which are charged with your control. Their favorite tool for delivering messages and thought patterns that run deep is to strongly associate them and deliver them in a state of fear or danger. Then we become unpaid foot soldiers, spreading the message and monitoring our neighbors by doing the responsible thing with the innocuous, “Did you hear in the news…?”

Expanded Version

As you grow and learn more about how things are not as they are, or how they were presented to you, you develop a sort of Spidey-sense when you’re being exposed to the propaganda and lie(s) promoted by the powers that be, in an effort to distract you from your growth and expansion. The most effective tool used to manipulate you and the masses is fear, and they will use it, exploit and spin anything and everything they can to keep you in a fear-based vibration, because you and everyone else is so much easier to control when you’re in a state of fear and are more likely to believe that you need someone else to keep you safe from the things that you are unable to witness first-hand. The more evolved you become, the less interested you are in propaganda and lies.

7. Love Is…

When you think of love, you’ve been programmed to have certain ideologies associated with love; and this is perfect for the masses. It goes something, like this, the different kinds of love include love for your family and friends, love for fauna and flora, love for your pet, love of one’s country, love for persons, places, and things, and romantic love between two people “in love.” Love initiates within you, your heart, for someone or something outside of yourself.

Expanded Verson

Love is the carrier wave of all energy, it is in everything, throughout all that is or ever was, holds all things together and provides appropriate separation, exists in the absence of anything amidst any void, has no beginning and no end. Even in negative energy, love is there. As you expand you learn to tap into this limitless energy from outside yourself, allow it to envelop all that you are, letting it consume you and flow out to others. You now know that love is not limited to individuals, and your love for individuals changes, as you move away from selfish love to the unconditional forms of love and its expression. Additionally, as you learn how to harness its power, you can learn how to use it to share, heal and be the light to an otherwise dark and thirsty world that longs for the release of this powerful energetic influence.

These are just some of the areas you will notice major shifts of consciousness when you expand and continue to evolve into the highest and best version of yourself.

Disrespect and Hurt Feelings in Relationships

Have you ever found yourself laboring to explain to your special someone how they hurt your feelings or disrespected you?

As two people come together and get to know each other, it is reasonable to expect things will come up as an indication that the two of you don’t see eye to eye on a particular subject. In some cases, you may feel bad, disrespected, disregarded or betrayed, and depending on how a sensitive a person you are, you could be hurt badly.

But you’re getting to know this person, are developing feelings of attachment, and/or falling in love with this person. You fancy the idea of having him or her in your life enough to reach out to them in an effort to help them understand how you feel, which is a normal course of action in any relationship.

On your first attempt to explain yourself to someone, you expect to be heard and felt. Everyone is entitled to make mistakes, as you know you, too, probably have disrespected some one else, not on purpose but in a moment when you were busy, focused, distracted, or had lost track of time, etc… and hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally.

Or maybe we’re talking about crossing boundaries. When you’re in a relationship, you can expect to cover all the rules and boundaries that exist in your head and your heart in the beginning, and you just sort of assume that you’re both completely compatible based on how you feel about this person.

If you and your partner have healthy boundaries, of course, the best way to communicate your boundaries is to merely talk about them and establish a mutual respect about each other’s boundaries. The next best way to bring up your boundaries is when either one of you find yourself crossing the other’s boundaries.

This is a good time to communicate, establish and negotiate the honoring of the boundary in your relationship or to make amendments or accommodations for the boundary in question. Some boundaries protect us from physical or emotional pain, but may change over time, the less we need them and as we continue to grow emotionally, while some may remain non-negotiable.

Okay, so someone’s crossed the line, and your feelings were hurt. You were considerate enough to explain the situation to your partner, and he or she heard you, respected you, apologized and agreed to take your feeling into consideration, should the same set of circumstances appear once again. And in a perfect world, in an adult relationship between two people who care about each other, this is the highest and best approach and outcome.

But what if it happens again?

Even though you felt like the two of you were perfectly clear and in agreement, now, you’re second-guessing, wondering if your initial expression was misunderstood, maybe you didn’t make yourself clear enough and it may be reasonable to talk about this particular situation again.

So, this time, you’re explaining to your partner in greater detail, including much more stories, demonstrations, possibly including audio/visual tools, drawing charts, graphs, maps and using bullet lists (yes, this can go into outrageous extremes, depending on the one doing the communicating) to make sure there is no misunderstanding in the future.

If you feel like you’ve been heard and your partner has endured your presentation, thanked you for clearly expressing yourself, understanding the two of you are basically using a common language and level of understanding in respect and honor of your clearly expressed ideas, and he or she agrees to honor your perspective if faced with similar circumstances in the future.

Well done.

That should do it.

If it doesn’t, and the same grievance comes up again, you can be relatively certain that something else is going on, here. You know you’re being heard. You’ve made every effort to establish rapport and understanding, yet here you are again.

This could feel like abuse, and anyone who knows you intimately, like your friends and family, might jump to that conclusion immediately, especially if you (or they) have had experience with a similar situation which did not fare well in the past.

The truth is, by this point, you can ascertain that this person is not going to change his or her thoughts or actions on this deal to accommodate you. You have to realize that this person is hard-wired this way and is never going to change for you.

Going back to the drawing board once again to try to explain yourself is fruitless. Nothing good could come from it, and your partner will only be going through the motions, agree to do or say anything you want to hear, but not really. They just want your grueling expression to stop, so they can get back to living their life.

Plus, you might be imposing abuse on your partner by badgering him or her endlessly about this particular subject. Just stop it. This could go on forever, and nothing good could come from that.

It’s not on you to expect to change your partner, just as you would not expect your partner to want you to change for him or her, although, some compromise along the way is reasonable, as long as it’s not too extreme.

Oh, you might think that if you love him or her enough, that they will realize one day that you were right all along, he or she instantly changes, as if being touched by a magic fairy’s wand, and the two of you will walk off into the sunset hand in hand in perfect harmony, with sparkles and butterflies all around.

The chances of that are pretty slim. So, at this point, you have to ask yourself, “Can I live with this?” It’s on you at this point, not the other person. Someday this person might change due to their own personal growth and evolvement, but you have to know, this is the way it’s going to be, probably forever. Can you live with that?

If loosening up on a boundary here and there is acceptable to you, then think about changing the way you think about this particular situation, consider making a compromise. Keep in mind if you are making the majority of the compromises, this will likely not be in your best interest in the long run, and you’re likely going to resent or regret this later.

On the other hand, in the rarest of circumstances, both parties begin to grow and change in synergistic harmony, evolving together in a symphony of continued awareness and enlightenment. If each of their individual paths is harmonious with the other’s, this can be the bliss which we all seek in a long-term relationship.