You’re Addicted to Fun

Might as well face it, you’re addicted to fun

You’re obsessed with the feelings associated with pleasure and happiness. You can function while you’re at work, but pretty much all you think about when your mind is not focused on work or problem solving is,

What am I going to do, who can I see, where can I go to get my next happy feeling?

Interestingly, the more difficult your next happy fix is, the higher (happier) it will make you feel. On the other hand, if you’re unable to participate in that difficult scenario, you’re going to feel bad, angry or depressed for not being able to do it.

It’s not enough just to do or have whatever it is that will make you happy; you derive even more pleasure from having it first. Buying the ticket, getting the latest tech gear, fashion bag, or collectible, etc. Getting these things make you happy, but being the first to get it, makes you feel even better.

This applies also to the people in your life. You judge people by how fun they are to be around, how happy they make you feel. The more fun they are, the more apt you are to go to great lengths to keep them around. If they’re a bummer, or a downer, you are less likely to have the time for them.

You love to collect things. If you’ve found owning a particular type of product has made you happy, you’re likely to get more of them, thinking the more you have, the better you’ll feel. This applies to people in your life, as well.

You know what you want, and you want it now. And you will compromise, throw caution to the wind, put relationships at risk, or suffer financial hardship for getting it now, with as little effort as possible.

Want to see where your loyalties are? Check your bank statement. You will find your pursuit of fun clearly indicated on your balance sheet, and might be inclined to rack up credit card debt to have the fun you so desperately desire.

Your moral compass might also be at risk as you try to find less scrupulous, or questionable (if not illegal), methods to finance your need of happiness.

You spend sleepless nights obsessing about the next shiny object, and the thought of it dominates your otherwise idle thoughts throughout your day. You know that if you can get this thing, you will be so happy, but after you get it… it just lacks the shimmer that you thought it would have.

When your latest acquisition does not meet your expectations (make you as happy as you thought it would) you’re going to reject it, put it down, possibly attack yourself (or someone else) for being responsible for your disappointment. You might take it back, demanding a refund. Or try to find a way to recapture the loss of money, time, or make a new (or better) friend who will make you happier than one you might have discarded.

You often compare what you have to what someone else has. You achieve a sense of joy from having something better than someone else, and when you find someone with something even better than you, your happiness about the particular item you have begins to fade.

Everything and everyone that surrounds you in your life supplies you in some way for your need to be happy. If someone, or something, fails to do so, it is quickly discarded.

Fear of loss will find you jumping through hoops, and making sacrifices, to sustain your long-term happiness provided by any activity, person or object. Since you are always concerned with maintaining all the things that make you happy, and little else, you have few resources or energy to devote to more meaningful activities or your loved ones.

You find yourself afraid of boredom. If you are not in a state of happiness, you get anxious because the withdrawal from your state of happiness is depressing, makes you feel like you’re imprisoned, can’t breathe, sad, lonely, or depressed.

You would rather risk all, sacrificing financial strain, loss of support, not following through on social commitments, humiliation, whatever it takes to prevent your dejected state of unhappiness. Your schooling or job may be at risk as the stress of trying to find ways to support your happiness become more elusive. Being unable to live in the now, or focus on the tasks at hand, can result in demotion, poor grades, or exclusion.

Your spiritual quest is one which must also support your need to feel joy and/or a sense of superiority. Your faith may help to mitigate the damages of the sacrifices you’ve made, or losses you’ve suffered in your attempt to maintain your happiness. The idea of making the world a better place appeals to you, but you’re unwilling or unable to do the work necessary to make the difference, but your recognition for supporting others doing the work, can bring a sense of accomplishment, gleaning what credit you can for their efforts.

Your attempt to fill the void with activities, material possessions, food or people will never satisfy, and will always see you wanting more. You will always be in search of the next car, trip, event, phone, gadget, handbag, bobble, restaurant meal, drink, orgasm or ten pound weight loss. And none of it will give you what you’re looking for.

Just as with other addictions, denial seems to be the first order of business as the addict protests with phrases, like, “I’m just enjoying life. What’s wrong with that?” Justifying, with statements, like, “Everyone else does it.” Or claiming not to be a slave to their uncontrollable behavior, by saying, “I can quit whenever I want.”

What Do You Want More Than Anything?

If you’re anything like the people that I encounter in my life on a daily basis, you’re answer would be,

“I just want to be happy.”

With everything that we have today, tablets, cell phones computer, WiFi, facebook, Twitter, SnapChat and the many other conveniences we have. It wasn’t that long ago and none of this existed and if you would have brought it up in conversation, people would laugh at how preposterous the idea might be. Even after having gone to the moon, and watching the fantasy TV space-western, Star Trek, they still laughed.

Now, only a few years later, we cannot conceive of life without everything we have instant access to, how we are all connected, no longer separated by distance, geography or time zones.

Yet, it doesn’t matter who you are, whether you’re barely making it on a minimum wage job, or a multi-millionaire, if I ask you what you want more than anything, if you dared to be honest, you would say,

“I want to be happy.”

Happiness is that illusive state of heart and mind that few of us are able to entertain for any period of time. Sure, we’re able to find things which bring us happiness, it is not long and these things which once were so sparkly and exciting, lose their luster and no longer make us feel good, and we seek some other form of happiness, or after a while, we might even give up on the idea altogether.

After a while, if you’ve all but given up on the idea of having any degree of happiness, you might think that no one has your back, you’re unable to trust other people, if you see other people being happy, you think they are delusional or faking it.

It’s difficult to get a grip on the idea of happiness, because it means something different to every one of us. And then you might actually be quite happy, but aren’t afraid to perceive your own happiness. We’re so busy relentlessly running the rat race, that we can’t possibly slow down enough to smell the roses, or even have the time to think there are roses at all, except for some inspiration for romantic poetry.

The pace of life, the calling of technologies clamoring for our attention, the stress of the struggle to survive and just make it through this life as best we can, keeps us from enjoying what we do have and joy floats further and further away. You might be surprised, if you could take a sabbatical from these constant pressures of life, you might be able to find enough peace and calm, to appreciate what you do have.

If you are but a victim of life, you need to find a way to stop life from having this power over you… and this also looks very different to different people. You need to carve out a place for you to enjoy some peace and contentment, keeping in mind that the things that bring true happiness may not be as large, expensive, or far away to find great joy in them. If you had the time and peace enough to appreciate them, you might find (as others have) that happiness can be found in the smallest of things.

So, whenever you can find even the smallest sacred space to ask yourself the question (maybe now) ask yourself, “What makes me feel happy?” Or, if you dare, ask yourself, “What could I be doing, right now, that would bring me joy, and make me so happy?” The answer to the second question is your happiness wake up call.

If you want to be happy, you need to take responsibility for your own state of happiness. It’s up to you to determine what you want, where you are, where you want to be, and to take the action necessary to move you from here to there. No one else can make you happy (you may have learned that the hard way). You must do the work to get there; it is all up to you.

You know what happiness is to you, you know what makes you happy, just by the thinking of it. Your heart, your feelings do not betray you in your quest for happiness. These feeling are your compass that you can use to guide you to what your heart desires and brings you a great sense of meaning and happiness. And you might find that these things are neither expensive, nor difficult to attain, but you must take the action to vector in the circumstances and opportunities for you to be in the right place at the right time in the right state of mind to manifest and experience your happiness.

No fairy godmother can wave her want and magically make you happy (at least, not for long). Your journey to attaining your personal state of happiness is on you, and you alone, and within you are all the tools and resources you need to make it happen.

Find opportunities to be happy in all areas of live, including family life, work environments, in nature or in the adoration of a pet. Seek happiness and put yourself in the stream of it (as it is flowing all around you) and you will find yourself in the flow of it, instead of watching happiness flow all around you.

Priceless Success and Happiness

If you’re a material girl, like Madonna, you might think that happiness can be found in the things that money can buy.

Americans (as well as industrially advanced populations all over the globe) are programmed from the moment they breathe their first breath to desire the finer things in life. As an adult, it is fully ingrained in your being to equate certain material things with success and happiness, though the mix is a little different for each one of us. You’re likely to believe nice cars, a big fancy house, wearing garments and baubles made by designer labels, and a bank account with lots of zeros to the right of an integer are considered to be signs of success and happiness.

Then there is also the school of thought that is the total opposite, where people think that people who have a lot of material things are inherently bad people or evil. These folks are all over the map in their disgust of people who have much more than they do. You might find them saying,

  • The Bible says, “Money is evil”
  • How many bodies are hidden for the acquisition of their wealth?
  • How much does a person really need?
  • They have so much; they should give me some of their cache.
  • People are starving, yet they live in the lap of luxury
  • They are so selfish and narcissistic, they only think of themselves
  • It is an honor to be pure of heart and poor.
  • A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.

It’s as if these people want the nicer things in life but are reticent to acknowledge their own hidden desire and must demonize others who have what they believe is out of their reach or not within the realm of their possibility.

I remember a recording artist (I am not going to cite who, as there have been many, and I do not desire to engage in mudslinging or name calling) that was a struggling independent singer/songwriter who publicly put down successful artists signed to labels, claiming they had sold out or sold their souls to the devil for their success and fame. That is, until this particular artist was signed to a major label and selective amnesia set in, as if the words were never spoken.

The very same thing happens when a mediocre family experiences an unexpected windfall. One day, they’re putting all the haves down, while they are suffer through lives with all the other have nots, and they make their disapproval of the “one percent” well known. Then silently sneak off to greener pastures following hitting the big one (sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies).

Even if you’re not living in a $50 Million home with a 90210 zip code, going to nightclubs with a $1,500 bottle of wine table minimum, or laughing it off when one of your kids pushes a Lamborghini off a cliff and into the drink for fun, doesn’t mean that your life is any less happy, or your are less successful. Because it’s true:

Success and happiness is not dictated by what you have.

Rather, success and happiness is found in the heart, and unfortunately, for the people who have the most money, it is often heard that their hearts are empty. We all can think of people who were at the peak of their income earning potential who have taken their lives. And it’s not because it’s the fashionable thing for rich people to do (though it does bolster the ideal of “live fast die young leave good looking corpse”). No, it’s usually because even though they had it all, they became painfully aware that all the money in the world does not have any value if your heart is empty.

Among those of us on a more spiritual journey, emphasis is placed on loving and focusing on our hearts. This is where true happiness lives, and is the vibration we seek to maintain for our lives. If you’re one of us, you do not put down others for what they have, instead to bless them and hope that one day they, too, can find deeper meaning in life and true love.

You may be attracting this kind of wealth to you. While it has yet to materialize, you find joy in the little things, for many things in our live are priceless. If you don’t believe me, watch someone with low income run into a burning building to retrieve something that may be more meaningful to them than their own life. Their priceless treasures might include photographs, letters, cherished mementos, or their beloved pet.

You may also be guilty of imbuing something intangible with such admiration, like poetry or a particular song. Or the priceless love-filled moments in time that are forever recorded in our memories, which allow us to relive that moment just by the mere thinking of it. Money cannot buy these things, nor can it replace them if they are lost.

Society has twisted us up and fouled up our priorities so badly that we become addicted to the sense of lack, focusing on the not having of a thing so much that we can find it difficult to focus on anything else, as we are overwhelmed by jealousy and a feeling of worthlessness. You might even catch yourself think, “If I only had” (fill in the blank) “then I would be happy.” Yet something inside you knows that things do not satisfy, they only leave you wanting other things.

Sure, we all desire to have life just a little bit easier, to have enough left over after paying the bills to reward yourself for all your hard work and dedication, but to acquire ill gotten gains may be too much a price to pay for you. So, you focus on your vibration, embrace you happiness quotient and remain open to receive the abundance that is in store for you.

Think on those things which are precious and priceless, and treasure these things because, “where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matthew 6:21)

Ask yourself what does success and happiness mean to you?

And remember, nothing is more precious than authentically true and loving friends, your family (as dysfunctional as it might be), your stellar and integrous character, your health and wellbeing.

Review your truly priceless things which you surround yourself with and have a joyous and grateful heart for having the things that few of the wealthiest people in the world could never have.

You are so blessed.

 

If You’re Happy and You Know It

I was out having dinner with my friend, Norman, and he couldn’t help but notice the uplifted countenance of our server. Unable to help himself, he asked, “Why are you so happy?”

If you're happy and you know it

Somewhat surprised the he’d even notice, the server smiled and told us about her painting she had entered in the State Fair and that she’d just received a text on her phone that she’d won first place in her division.

Her exuberance was apparent. I remembered a song we used to sing with the kids that went like, “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands…” No hand clapping was needed here. You could tell she was happy.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you can pretty much tell when anyone is really happy, even if they’re trying to conceal it, you can just tell.

So what makes people happy?

Good News

Good news, like hearing that you’ve just won an award for your artwork, would certainly make you happy, Even if you were depressed moments before, good news can fire up you happiness hormones and usher you into joy in a heartbeat.

Ever know someone who was happy all the time?

I know it’s harder to come by these days, but most everyone knows someone who is disgustingly perpetually happy. You probably think to yourself, “No one could really be that happy,” assuming that they must be faking it, have something to hide or are full of crap; all reasonable thoughts for a person who finds it difficult to maintain a high level of joy for very long.

Now, ask one of these annoying happy people the same question, “Why are you so happy?”

They’re likely to go on and on about how the whole world is comprised of beauty, kindness, benevolence and goodness… enough to make you think that either they’ve taken some amazing illicit hallucinogen or simply lost any sense of reality and their mind to boot.

They are also likely to be thinking about all the good things in life they are anticipating, as well as what they are doing to move themselves closer to the things they truly desire for themselves or their loved ones. How could they not be happy, thinking thoughts, like those?

You might walk away, shaking your head, thinking this person might be better off suited for a straight jacket.

Nonetheless, they aren’t hurting anyone – if anything, just the opposite – their positive and outlook directed at the right person at the right time might just save a life, or in some small way make the world a better place. The cumulative effect of happy people, like these, can have enormous impact on the planet and its peoples.

Yes, you think, but what about all the pain, violence, poverty, injustice, etc…?

The people who are happy likely know about and acknowledge all the evils of the world but choose to focus instead on all the good things of the world. For every bad thought you could think, there is a good one that you could choose to spend your time dwelling on instead.

One thing for certain: Bad thoughts make you feel bad and good thoughts make you feel good.

So, when it comes down to it, happiness is a choice.

And if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Peace

I’m old enough to remember the sixties, when young, rebellious Americans protested in the streets clamoring for peace and a better world. While they were able to voice their opinion for the most part, sometimes their making a stand against the machine turned to tears and fears when met with violence which turned to anger and more violence.

peace will only come when we realize that it cannot be achieved by violence

Peace will only come when we realize that it cannot be achieved by violence.

That was then, this is now. So much has changed. We the people wield so much power held in the palm of our hand that we can potentially expose evil cloaked in righteousness or send love to the world by tapping a button on our cell phone.

This power can be used for good or evil; even in the quest for peace.

How will you use your power(s) to promote peace?

It is exponentially more effective to lovingly and peacefully promote peace than it is to battle against those who would stand in the way of the peaceful world you envision for the future.

Yet there are those of us who are called to do battle as warriors, some who are steadfast lovers or saints and those of us who are warrior saints, a combination of both.

It is the belief held by the steadfast lovers and promoters of peace that by maintaining a loving and peaceful vibration will enable you to enjoy a peaceful life but also to live a better life and make the world a better place.

How?

By example.

When the peace-lovers exemplify the living of a peaceful life less complicated, more abundant, filled with contentment and higher degrees of happiness, this cannot go on without others taking notice.

I’m not talking about flower-child hippies. I’m referring to enlightened individuals and holistic businesspeople in all stations and walks of life awakening to their destinies and achieving their highest and best in the most love-fueled dignified fashion. These are the counter leaders, those who lead by example not by dominance. They approach life, challenges, obstacles and celebratory opportunities with tolerance and enthusiasm, while maintaining an even keel, both in the boardroom and in everyday life.

This awakening is taking place right now as you read these words and its spreading like a sacred virus.

There is a dichotomy that exists in the stark contrast between the people who use their energy to promote lower level vibrations, and those who use their energy to lovingly promote peace. You can instantly tell which who is who by looking at their social media profile.

Where is the love?

Although to utilize love as an energetic component, you must have some love to work with. In many cases, when I meet people, I take a look inside their heart – as if it were a canister meant to contain love – I open it and look inside. More often than not, I discover it is empty.

We are all born with all the love we could possibly use, yet as we travel our life’s journey, we tend to squander our love, and as an act of self-preservation discard it. Many of us would rather have no love at all than to risk loving and having it unrequited.

Healing, embracing love and learning to live life again are key components to the awakening.

A better world awaits

It is a highly regarded belief that when this new awakening and subsequent enlightenment reaches critical mass, this new peaceful and abundant planet will emerge, celebrating all life and a better world.

You are an important piece in the proliferation of peace today.

Thank you for taking the high road for peace.

Happiness How to be Happy

The most important component for enjoying a fun-filled life full of happiness and joy is just like magic or anything else: It’s easy once you know the secret of the happiness hormone. Once you have this knowledge, the question is

Happiness how to be happyWhat will you do about it?

Hidden within our molecular structure is a hormone that when released into our bloodstream allows us to experience happiness and joy. The hormone has been identified and named, “oxytocin.” There is no pill or supplement that you can take to replace the hormone or trigger its production.

Oxytocin is created naturally during moments of great feelings of love, falling in love and loving orgasm. We experience the greatest happiness when oxytocin levels are at their highest levels. This is why oxytocin is referred to as, “the love hormone.”

The higher your level of oxytocin, the happier you are; you feel better, experience less cardiovascular stress, enjoy increased immune system and a longer lifespan with a higher quality of life.

How to Be Happy

Fortunately, there are things that you can do to ramp up your oxytocin levels to increase happiness and joy (besides the obvious: falling in love, engaging in love-filled sex or having a newborn baby).

Only you have the ability to pull the trigger, releasing the happiness hormone, but you must take action to do so.

Here are some things you can do to increase your oxytocin levels post haste:

Watch a movie

There are two types of films you could watch that will trigger the release of oxytocin. They are movies that make you laugh out loud, or cry tears of joy or sadness.

Social media

Yes, engaging and interacting with other people in a positive manner (haters are excluded because “haters gonna hate” indicates increased testosterone – not oxytocin) via social media, like facebook, Twitter, etc… increases the happiness hormone.

Donate

Making a contribution or donation, expecting nothing in return, is an excellent way to release the happiness hormone.

Pray

If you’re open to prayer/meditation, the idea of interacting with your higher source or self (feel free to call it whatever you want. I am quite comfortable with the idea of praying to God, but to each their own…) this will release oxytocin.

Pet an Animal

If you’re so inclined, petting a cute, adorable animal (who is amiable to the idea and not a ferocious man-eating critter) will get those happiness juices flowing.

Nature Walk

Taking a stroll through natural surroundings, especially on a sunny day, when you can appreciate trees, grass, flowers or a natural body of water or shoreline will do the trick.

Get a Massage

A little trip to the massage therapist for your choice of either a sports or relaxation massage (or a spa day) will do the trick.

Increase Happiness Hormone X2

You can achieve twice the amount of oxytocin release by engaging in activities with another person (also, in most cases, the other person gets similar benefits). Consider:

Full-on Listening

Talk to someone – or more importantly invite them to talk and share – focusing totally on the speaker and their delivery. Look into their eyes, watch their mouth, note their voice inflection, posture and be aware of their body language. (And for god’s sake, turn your cell phone off.)

Do a Meal

Either take someone out to share a meal – your treat – or make someone a special dinner to share with him or her.

Dance

Getting out on the dance floor with someone to bust a move is a great way to increase your happiness levels. (And don’t worry; it’s more about the wiggling to the music than it is your proficiency at dancing. No judges here.)

Have a Thrill

Do something that you’ve never done before – especially if it has a little danger thrown in for flavor – like a roller coaster ride or skydiving.

Be Trusted

The feeling that comes with being trusted by another person (not trusting someone else) releases the happiness hormone. Being trustworthy, helps stack the deck in your favor.

Say, “I love you.”

Every time you communicate your admiration for another person, using the words, “I love you,” works just like an injection of oxytocin.

Hugging

Doctor’s orders a daily prescription of 8 hugs per day to keep your hug quotient at its optimal levels.

Happy Happiness

Enjoy these little activities that can give you a happy life.

May each day be your happiest day ever.