Dealing With Haters

Pretty much no matter what you do there are going to be haters waiting in the wings ready to pounce on you for any misstep you might make, and in lieu of having a mistake to focus upon, they’ll pick words and phrases, spin them out of context and try to attack you from a factious battle base. It can’t help but leave you wondering what to do about dealing with haters?

First off, you must realize that haters gonna hate. It’s a fact of life, for whatever reason, there are a lot of people who get off on putting others down, and the more violently they exert their hate, or make someone feel bad, angry, breakdown, or cry, the better it makes them feel about themselves. Just being aware that everything you do is being watched and someone is waiting to insult you or smack you down if you try to do something good, or attempt to make the world a better place.

People who are miserable and can see little good in this life, will do anything to prevent it from getting better. They’ve resigned themselves to live in a world of hate and find safety and security in keeping it that way because they’ve acclimatized themselves to this kind of life. To start doing crazy things, like being honest, open, vulnerable, trusting, and loving, and to have the nerve to propagate such things threaten the existence of the world they’ve come to know. So, they will attack you and try to thwart your efforts, or slow your roll when you’re trying to live a better life, love and share love, or make the world a better place in order to strengthen the world they call “home.”

Oh, and as you might have noticed, they’re so eager to hate, they’re ready to spring into flurries of hate anytime you try to do anything, Just try to change laundry detergent, change your wardrobe, move to a different town, paint your living room, look for a new career, apply to be accepted by a college, get pregnant, consider not eating meat, losing weight, or donating money to charity, etc… No matter what you do, the haters are watching and waiting.

Now that you know they are there as an inevitable part of life (at the moment),

Don’t Let Haters Stop You

I’ve worked with people who wanted to do something good but were afraid to take action for fear of being attacked by haters. They may have known, seen, heard, or read about someone whose life was destroyed by haters, and they are afraid of “putting themselves out there” to be attacked by the haters (as the haters are laughing in the sidelines).

Fear is a powerful weapon, and it is used in every level of society to control us. Especially, in the case of imaginary fear. You haven’t even been attacked, yet, and you’re letting the fear of something that might happen in the future rob you from the blessing of standing your ground and sharing your heart and truth.

If that wasn’t enough, each of you carries insecurities which fuel an inner hater, which can taunt you and make you feel like you’re unworthy, too inexperienced, or a greater target for haters than you might actually be. You inner hater does this to protect you, in the same manner, that other haters try to protect the worlds they live in.

Of course, the next level includes actually being attacked by haters. The hate can seem unfair, be unpleasant, and if you let it get to you, it might make you feel like picking up your toys, calling it a day, and going home. You could let the haters have the upper hand, and you could quit fulfilling your mission, singing your song, or speaking your message. Don’t let haters stop you.

Be Courageous

It takes a certain amount of courage and commitment to be willing to step out in faith, knowing that people may not like what you have to say, especially if it is contrary to the status quo.

You have an obligation to yourself, and possibly to your higher power, to do your thing or fulfill your destiny. This is more about doing what is true to you than it is about what other people think or say about what you do.

Pick yourself up by your bootstraps, get together a team of supporters, or go it alone, but build up enough courage to go forth and put your best foot forward. The world needs you desperately and is waiting to hear your voice.

And know this: If you’re attracting haters, this is a sure indication that you’re doing a good job. You’re on the right track, running the risk of achieving your highest and best, and making the world a better place. Whatever you’re doing… do more of that.

Don’t Be a Hater

Oh, yeah, and if you don’t want people to hate on you, don’t hate on anyone else. I know on one hand this sounds silly, but on the other, it’s tragically serious.

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone complain about haters hating them, then responding (whether in private behind the scenes or publicly) by spewing hate about the hatemongers. They’re so caught up in the moment and riled up emotionally, that they can’t even see how hypocritical it might be to do such a thing.

The rule is simple: If you don’t want to attract haters, don’t be a hater.

Practice tolerance and be a loving up-lifter. Edify those who have the courage to put themselves out there and risk everything for what they believe, even if it’s contrary to what you believe. Why? Because don’t you expect the same respect? That’s why. You gotta give what you want to receive.

Dealing With Haters

If you’ve been the recipient of a public attack by a violent hater, the standard protocol is to not take it seriously (I know that can be a tall order, sometimes), especially if the attack was personal, and you feel like your integrity or reputation might be at stake.

You are under no obligation to respond to an irrational hater (no matter how rational they may present themselves on the surface). Ignoring their accusations or remarks is completely acceptable, and while doing so,

Take the high road, understanding that the individual who is attacking you is not that different from you, and if you were living in that person’s shoes, you might feel compelled to strike out in a similar way. Don’t get pompous over it, be compassionate and realize we are all just doing the best we can with what we have, and,

Bless them.

Yes, I said it. I know it harkens back to Romans 12:14’s, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse,” and Proverbs 15:1’s “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” but these are responses are solid, tested and true answers for haters. Haters are nothing new, they just get a lot more press these days.

If you do take the approach of replying with love and kindness (without being condescending) you might be surprised to find that your compassion, love, and kindness was enough to turn a hater into a supporter.

It’s been known to happen.

It’s Just Not Fair Haters Gonna Hate

Someone, somewhere at some time planted the idea that life should be fair, and when we recognize that something is not fair, we utter the words, “But that’s not fair.” As if fairness was a default setting, and due to some breach of security an unfairness has slipped through the cracks.

When you feel as though you’ve been treated unfairly, something wells up inside you that makes you resistant to the idea. You do not like being treated unfairly. In fact, the whole idea of any unfairness just gnaws away at everything you believe about what is right and what is wrong, acceptable and unacceptable. When you’re treated unfairly, it goes against everything you believe in and you get angry.

The rejection of any idea of unfairness usually can be traced back to unfairness you experienced as a child. This is where the idea of the injustice of being treated unfairly is rooted, and the angst felt by a child is much more fierce than one might expect from an adult. Depending on where your feelings about being treated unfairly originate, the younger you were when you came across the idea, the more negative feeling you will have about it in the present day.

When you are criticized, you experience a sort of flashback, triggering those early emotions and you feel escalated negative emotion. After all, you’ve worked hard to accomplish this – or that – and how dare some disrespectful ingrate insult all your efforts to bring this thing to this point. And you get pissed because of this injustice hurled by an unrestricted hater. “It’s not right. I worked so hard…”

Although, it is right; it is the nature of the world we live in. When a hater releases an outburst of hate, it’s actually a good sign indicating you are doing extremely well. Haters are what they are, and they will spew their hatred at any opportunity, and if a particular target might seem to over-react, or get their feelings hurt, all the better for the hater. That’s what they want. In order for them to feel good, they must make someone else suffer and feel bad.

When you are experiencing a level above average in anything you do, the haters start taking notice. This is the cue haters are looking for, always on the lookout for someone’s success, indicating to them that it is their job to knock them down a few pegs. If you are having a great deal of success or happiness, the haters start swarming. It’s nothing new, just a fact of life on planet earth.

There are reasons to expect opposition, such as

  • Seeing things from a different point of view
  • Differing ideas about values or morality
  • Everyone struggles with their own inner demons
  • Someone may act out on a stereotypical basis
  • They might be jealous of your success
  • They could be responding to a miscommunication
  • They might be misinterpreting or spinning your story
  • Maybe they just hate everything at every opportunity

Haters are not hard to find, they proliferate the Internet and social media lurking and looking for opportunities to spread their hatred far and wide, while they cower safely behind their technology. You can bet, if you’re doing something good, the haters are taking notice as you show up as a new blip on their radar.

Don’t look at it as being treated unfairly; instead try to think of it as a compliment.

Haters gonna hate. It’s a fact of life.

Everyone is entitled t their own point of view, and just as you have freedom of expression, so do the haters. There is no right or wrong in opposing points of view. It just is what it is.

Some people are going to love you and the things that you do, others… Well, not so much.

When you make a stand for something you believe in and you are disrespected or attacked by haters, it’s okay. Understand that their hatred has nothing to do with you. It is only the haters doing the only thing they know how to do, that makes them feel a little better. This is the pay off for them. They are in a constant state of pain and misery. Hurting someone else’s feelings is the only way they know how to get some relief because making someone feel bad makes them feel better. That’s all they know. Can you blame them?

Stomping Baby Turtles

Put yourself in their shoes. If you were in a constant state of pain, and the only way you could find relief from the pain was to stomp on a baby turtle, if the pain was great enough, you might be compelled to do it. And if you did and it made the pain subside, you might be more inclined to do it again. After a while, you may discover that if you stomped on many of them, not only would the pain subside, but you might even feel exhilarated and happy.

Likewise, when a hater strikes out against you, it really has nothing to do with you, it’s all about them, looking for ways to make themselves feel a little better. It’s the only thing they know of that gives them a sense of relief.

And what if you, too, are a hater?

If you are trying to get people to see a thing from your point of view, even insisting on it, aren’t you doing the same thing? If you don’t like someone the way they are, do you try to get them to change? If so, you might be a clandestine hater (though more subtle in your delivery).

Just because you see something from a different point of view does not make you right or someone else wrong. Be confident enough to share from your perspective, but allow them to see it from theirs. Don’t try to change their mind. Only they can do that. Simply humbly plant a seed and let it go. It just is what it is.

Practicing tolerance, not judging people, allowing them to be what they are, honoring their right to believe whatever they want to, and understanding that we all are only doing the best we can with what we have, will keep you on track to a brighter future.

Haters Gonna Hate

Whenever you reach out to do good in the world, expect a backlash from ignorant people who just don’t get it. Not only do they not get it, but they have declared war against you and everything that you stand for, and they will stop at nothing (while hiding behind the Internet) to try to embarrass, defame and humiliate you via the World Wide Web.

haters gonna hate cyber bullying sadistic internet trolls

The first thing to remember is that these people are not innately evil in any way. For the most part, they are lonely and pathetic people with little to live for, who have likely been abused or otherwise victimized in their pasts. Lashing out to authentic, heart-centered people promoting a better life are easy prey, and belittling them, in some way makes them feel a little better (or a little less bad).

So, try not to take the cyberbullying personal, when you’ve shared something intimately from your heart, then get viciously attacked by an Internet troll (hater) who does his best to hurt your feelings and break your spirit.

How to Deal with Haters

So, what to do when you’re attacked via social media?

The best course of action is nothing. That’s right, just ignoring it is the best course of action when dealing with haters. Do not respond or try to defend yourself because that just adds fuel to the fire. Just accept it for what it is. A victimized person, who is hurting inside, who can think of nothing better to cope with their pain than to victimize someone else, and using a somewhat anonymous vehicle, like the Internet, is a perfect way for them to strike out, without much risk.

Then there are the people who care about you and know that your inattentions were pure and resonate with your point of view. Your supporters might rally against the cyberbullying, in an attempt to vindicate your good name.

It Could Be Worse

I know, I thought the same thing. A few years ago, when I was viciously attacked via social media online by a psychopath rallying sadistic Internet trolls to join in slinging hate and discord about me, some other social media users were influenced to join in on attacking me, because I had been targeted as an evil person.

Immediately, my friends began to defend me and respond to the insensitive posting of the haters. Even though my energy was greatly depleted (the attacks ensued due to the loss of my son in Afghanistan) I tried to quickly respond (privately if I could) to beg them not to respond, because just as I had expected the controversy began to turn into a full-on battle.

As people stopped defending me, the Internet trolls and cyberbullies went away looking for other prey to post inflammatory comments about, for there is no satisfaction for them in attacking someone who will not result in someone expressing their being hurt, upset or becoming argumentative. This left the psychopath to remain alone as the only person left standing who continued to try to defame me.

Apologies and support started to come my way, after a while, from people who had been misled by the psychopath and his temporary herd of minions, after they had discovered the truth of the matter and realizing that they had been duped.

Follow Your Heart

Speak your peace, share your heart and let nothing dissuade you from sharing your innermost desires for goodness, love, and hope for a better, brighter world.

Do not defend, or strike back, just let it go, let it be and it will fade away or find somewhere else to go. No need to judge, criticize or poke fun at the haters, because their situation is probably worse than you can imagine.

Just be aware that there are people out there who are hurting, and while it’s true that “Haters are gonna hate,” realize they, too, are doing the best they can with what they have.

Your true friends and followers will respect your integrity by seeing you continue to smile and wave through the positive responses and the bad.

Let it go, don’t let it get to you… Keep singing your song.