They Are Not Far Off

You’ve lost a loved one, someone who has slipped beyond this life and into the next. They are not far off. Of course, you are going to grieve and feel awful because there is no greater pain than losing someone you care about deeply, especially if it was someone you shared a deep connection with.

You can have a genuine, deep connection to anyone, even someone you’ve never met in person. This is the nature of human connection. It surpasses one’s ability to rationalize with the mind, nonetheless, the connection is deep and meaningful. If someone you don’t know personally passes and you had a deep connection with this person, the pain of separation can be just as great as if you knew this person intimately.

If this applies to you, it is best to do the greater part of your grieving in private, as grieving for someone you didn’t know personally is not socially acceptable, and your circle of influence among the living may begin to question your psychological wellness. It is sad but true. Don’t let them get to you.

This is referred to as disenfranchised grief, when you’re suffering the loss of someone who society has deemed you have no socially-legitimate claim to, such as a celebrity or an “Ex,” like an ex-friend, ex-lover, ex-spouse, or former step-relatives. Society may also frown on grieving for those who have died due to “questionable” condition, such as capital punishment or AIDS.

Other forms of grief which are shunned by society include professional relationship (even among caregivers and patients), and even your connection to a pet cannot be understood by someone who has never experienced the deep connection one can share with an animal.

In any case, you are entitled to the grieving process, and there is no limit to the amount of time that it takes for you to grieve. It takes as long as it takes, and no one can dictate how long it will take. Just know that in those most difficult times, it does get better.

You might find it comforting to know that when a loved one passes from this reality to the next, they are not far off.

“The other side” is not some faraway place in the heavens. It is all around us, as if in different dimensions of reality. While we are stuck here, vibrating in the third dimension, we (most of us) are limited to what we can experience in 3-D.

There are other dimensions where there is a great deal more life going on which we cannot see. In the third dimension, we can experience lower dimensions, like the second and first, but whatever life exists in the first or second cannot experience what is happening in the third dimension.

Likewise, if your loved one slips into a higher dimension, they can experience what is going on in the third dimension, where you reside.

That’s what I mean, when I say they are not far off. Their body and any pain or strife associated with life here is the property of the third dimension but the greater part of them is vibrating, living a full and happy life full of love in another dimension.

With very few exceptions, this happens instantly and seamlessly, even though we are unable to see or understand it fully. Though, you may have some idea of it if you have had a near-death experience (NDE).

If you have lost someone who has passed, with whom you shared a deep connection with (even if you didn’t know them personally, or not well) they are aware of that connection whilst on the other side.

They can see the connection, and be aware of your sadness and grief, even though they completely and utterly happy on the other side, and even so, they love you from there and wish that you were not sad, or in pain, but they can understand, for they know what its like to live in the third dimension, no matter how long they were able to remain there (in 3-D).

Occasionally, they will reach out and try to connect with you from the dimension where they now reside.

They might try to let you know they are not far off by finding ways to interact with you. There have been many stories about moving furniture, leaving cabinet doors open, hiding your keys, and the list goes on and on…

In my opinion, the most personal and intimate way for a loved one to let you know they are there is by touch. The touch from someone from the other side may not feel like a normal third-dimensional touch. It is more likely to feel like a very faint or gentle touch. More light a light brush of the skin that may feel a little ticklish, as if lightly brushed by a feather.

This is how my people from the other side let me know they are there. It happens both in times of sadness to reassure me that they are not far off, and it also happens when I am in a high celebratory state, or they just want to let me know that they are supporting me or sharing some other experience alongside me.

And when you become aware of this type of cross-dimensional communication, there is no doubt of the continuance of your connection. As if there was no separation at all.

One day, you will find yourself with them, interacting with other loved ones who have stayed behind in the third dimension, and you will understand and know this fully.

Loving How to Communicate in Love

Heartfelt communication can make the difference between sweet love and love crisis in love and romance. How you share those most important issues any normal couple faces amidst your love life makes all the difference in love and loving. How to communicate in love with compassion is the doorway leading to the next level in your love’s exponential potential.

Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt created a loving technique which helps you understand how to communicate in love and relationships called the Imalgo Dialogue or “safe conversation.” This is a process of moving through communicative exchange between two people which engenders loving how to communicate in love.

Here is a basic structure you can follow to experience what it is like to engage in the loving communication model.

Let’s say your partner has something important to say to you. If you want to use this safe conversation model to have a deeper level of connection and communication with your partner, oversimplified, it would go something, like this:

1. Tell me about it.

Allow your partner to tell his or her story.

2. That’s interesting. What else?

Now, you’re inviting your partner to delve deeper into their story.

3. How does that make you feel?

This is safely inviting your partner to share how they feel, which is often overlooked in conversation, unless it is exposed when negative communication styles erupt emotionally.

4. Is there more?

Let’s face it, we’re all a little protective about how we feel. This is a safely guarded spot in our heart, where we hide our feelings. Being invited by your partner to express any underlying, deeper emotion, is not only increasing your connection, it also enables you to examine and rationalize what might be underneath why you are feeling the way you’re feeling.

5. Let me see if I’ve got that.

This is when you restate your partner’s story, and how they feel about the issue at hand in your own words, trying to see it from his or her point of view, including how he or she feels about it.

6. Is that right?

This invites your partner to make any corrections to your attempt to understand his or her point of view. Let hi or her correct you, then repeat go back to step 5. Repeat as necessary, until your partner indicates that you have a good understanding of his or her perspective and feelings regarding the topic at hand.

7. Is there more?

This introduces a loop back to step 4 which might appear to be redundant but actually, your partner has often uncovered more about the topic of this discussion, discovered new information, and found links to other emotional issues from the past. There may be new information to share.

When all is said and done, you can lovingly let your partner know,

“I see how that make sense. And understanding that, I see that it could make you feel…” fully supporting him or her without interrupting, challenging, or judgment. This is compassion in action.

You can find out more about the Imalgo Dialogue in Getting the Love You Want, A Guide for Couples by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt.

I Have A Bad Feeling About This

You know that feeling that you get just before something bad happens? You might think, “I have a bad feeling about this,” in a precognitive manner seconds before something goes awry.

Well, say, “Hello,” to your little inner guidance system, or intuition. The heart is the seat of intuition. It’s just not the fodder of artists and philosophers of old anymore, as science is finding this is true, and it’s just not Jedis from Star Wars who can sense these things enabling them to announce, “I have a bad feeling about this,” seconds before something unexpected takes place.

We all have it to varying degrees. Our cognitive central nervous system which is seated in the brain, if you are aware of it, can provide you a good three-second advance notice via a feeling (like Spiderman’s spidey-sense) to brace for something, which can be highly advantageous, especially in a potentially dangerous situation.

Three seconds of advanced notice and heightened awareness can make the difference between potential-loss and prolonged suffering, or even life and death.

What if you could increase your intuition awareness from 3 seconds to 7 seconds?

It would have a massive impact on the difference it would make the next time you utter those words,

“I have a bad feeling about this”

Due to the advanced scientific research being conducted on the human heart, we are now finding the heart’s possessing a central nervous system separate from the brain, and more high functioning than the brain with far more accuracy.

While the brain emits an energetic field which can be measured a few inches from a person’s head, the energy which is broadcast from the heart projects a peripheral information-rich energetic field which transmits electronically for feet in every direction, consciously immensely further.

When an unexpected event is about to take place, the heart is the first physical organ to respond, immediately sending impulses to the brain for interpretation. The heart signals an urgent need for heightened awareness to the brain a full 7 seconds, and it takes about four seconds for the brain to process and react to the heart’s communication.

The brain is so busy thinking and it has been trained to disregard the heart’s nervous system, and until now, the most educated humans disregarded the heart’s significance on the human contribution to the human body as simply a blood pump.

The question of whether you are,

Thinking with your head or your heart?

Has far more significance today than it did at any time in the past.

Heart and quantum science are discovering the heart as the new frontier in scientific advancement, and it appears the heart’s energetic connection to the source of all energies of life is not just the subject of fantasy or fiction anymore.

Things like psychic connections and communications, telekinesis, and the like, which have been regarded as either science fiction or secret government researched potential weaponizations are not as ridiculous an idea as we were previously led to believe, as much of science fiction is increasingly becoming science fact.

The issue of whether there was a grand conspiracy to cover up this knowledge is moot, the fact of the matter is that we the people are becoming more aware, and as more and more of us awaken to this knowledge, honoring and connecting more with our heart’s intuitive intuition and the vast energetic source and storehouse of infinite wisdom and possibilities, the world (and mankind as we know it) looks increasingly different as it evolves every second.

There is so much going on here that far exceeds a four-second advantage.

Where will you be focusing more of your energies?

In your head or on your heart?

How is that working for you?

 

Fear of Abandonment in Love

In many relationships, fear of abandonment can find ways to thwart your attempts to find love, no matter how you try. Dealing with one who has fear of abandonment issues, whether this applies to you, or someone you’re in love with.

In most, if not all, cases, fear of abandonment can be traced back to one’s childhood. It is often linked with a mother or primary caregiver who was not there to provide the proper nurturing, caring and attentive support to the child. Regardless of the reason for the lack of nurturing, whether the primary had to work, or had personal issues or unavoidable circumstances to properly love and connect with this little baby, this young child grew up insecure.

This insecurity could express itself as either avoidance or anxiety.

Avoidance

In the person who expresses his or her fear of abandonment as avoidance, he (avoidance if far more common among men) or she will likely retreat when his or her partner is crying out for love and connection. When witnessing his or her partner expressing his or her need, the avoider will make a bee-line to a safe place.

Commonly, he or she will retreat to the office, or some other location deemed as a “safety zone,” and so it is not uncommon for avoiders to become workaholics.

As a child, the avoider found self-sufficiency and finding comfort in solitude his or her coping mechanism in dealing with a primary caregiver who did not give them the love, attention, and support they so desperately needed in those young and formative early years.

Anxiety

If the person who was raised with abandonment issues found reward from crying out or clamoring for attention, then this will likely carry over into adulthood. The anxious person carrying fear of abandonment issues will likely be stirring the pot in an attempt to get the attention they seek, even though this obviously is an ineffective method of getting them what they want.

What do they want?

In either case, whether they are operating from a place of avoidance or anxiety, both of these individuals are desperately in search of the love, safety and security they were denied at a very tender, young age.

Since we are often drawn and attracted to someone like our parents, you will have someone in your life that triggers the abandonment threshold which throws you into a state of panic or fight or flight response.

This emotional state of emergency disconnects the part of the brain which is reserved for rational thought as they follow their knee-jerk instincts which seek to protect them from further abandonment. So the avoider retreats and the anxious person who fears abandonment pitches a fit because the avoider feel safe in seclusion and the anxious person gets attention (even though it is negative) when they act up.

This reactivity does not foster a healthy environment for creating a congruent connection between two people. In fact, it does just the opposite, it keeps these two people from having a positive, loving and supportive relationship, which is just the opposite of what they so long to have. But for them, it has not become about connection, it has been reduced to its simplest form of survival, so they react and prevent connection from happening.

And there’s a good chance that you are either one of these, either suffering from avoidance or anxiety paradigms, and you are also in a relationship with one, and there’s an even greater chance that if you are in a relationship with someone also suffering from fear of abandonment, that your partnered with someone who is the other type.

In most fear of abandonment couples, one is the avoider and the other is anxious.

What can I do, if I’m in a relationship with someone who has fear of abandonment issues?

Good question. Thankfully, there is a cure for what ails the person who is dealing with fear of abandonment issues.

Avoidance

The person who is suffering from abandonment and has embraced avoidance as his or her coping mechanism wants love and connection but has no idea about how to get it. He or she retreats and expects you to leave.

The key, here, is to do exactly the opposite of what he or she expects. Don’t disconnect yourself, instead, be totally supportive, reach out and touch the heart of the avoider in such a way that he or she longed for in childhood.

That’s right. Treat him or her like a baby, hold him or her in your arms, look him or her in the eyes and say, “I am here for you. I know you feel like running away, right now, and that’s okay, but I will be right here for you. I love you. I really, really love you. I am here for you and I will never leave nor forsake you. You can depend on me.”

The results may not be immediate, but as you gain the trust of the avoider and he or she begins to realize that you are there for comfort, support, safety, security and benevolently offering your loving kindness, and he or she sees strength, consistency, and dependability in your love, he or she will open up.

This might be the first time he or she has ever felt safe.

Anxiety

The anxious person suffering from fear of abandonment needs the same thing. Needs to know he or she will not be judged or ridiculed, desires to be loved, accepted and embraced in love.

When he or she is acting out, this can look like a rant or a fit of rage, but in reality, it is only this person’s inner child crying out for love and connection.

Likewise, instead of berating or getting defensive, make eye contact in a loving and non-threatening manner, just as you would a little baby, reach out and hold him or her, let him or her know that they are loved unconditionally. And if it was something that you did to trigger this response assure him or her, “Hey, I can see that you’re upset. I’m so sorry. I never meant to do anything to hurt you. I would never intentionally do that. I am here for you. I love you. I am here for you.”

Again, if you are honest and true, your love will shine through in your actions, and this person might be able to feel safe and secure in your love.

The more secure he or she feels over time, the more infrequent the reactions will be.

And there is a third type of person who suffers from fear and abandonment. This one is the,

Trauma

Having suffered trauma as a child, this person acts out more expressively, probably jumping to conclusions and making irrational accusations, over-reacting to circumstances and scenarios that might seem mundane to anyone else.

The traumatics are often their own worst enemy driving away those whom they desperately want to be loved by.

Again, just like everyone else, they are desperately in search of love and connection.

If you are brave and steadfast enough, your love can break through the protective walls they have built around themselves.

Love can be a dirty business, but there is no greater love than being the reason that someone has sincerely felt safe, secure and loved for the very first time.

The Most Powerful Weapon is Love

Your heart is an incredibly powerful generator, emitting a powerful force field that is 60 times stronger than the power generated by the brain that can be measured from up to 10 feet away from the body. This little 10 ounce power source has its own neurological network, not only feels but processes information seconds before the brain.

When any two humans interact with each other, the two heart-fields connect prior to any word(s) spoken and set the tone for communication, and if physical contact is made, energy from one heart can be transferred to the other body via the physical connection. This is the secret ingredient to healing modalities, such as the laying on of hands healing.

For years, scientists relegated love emotions to the brain process. It is now known that the heart is the seat of soulful love-based emotions also. No longer simply disregarded as a metaphorical reference in the playgrounds of artists and philosophers, hard science is documenting data leading to the conclusion that the heart is the center of the central nervous system and is many times more powerful than the brain.

When you have a intuitive feeling there is a good chance this originates in the heart, though the brain does mimic the same feeling the analytical brain is more likely to base feeling on fear-based emotions. This gives us insight into the struggle between the heart and the brain and is the cause of a great deal of confusion because sometimes it’s so difficult to know the origin of an intuitive hit.

Your heart can sense energetic fields within proximity, processes, decodes and translates the information and sends the results to the brain, while also sensing and responding to other external data which may result in more of a precognitive result. Like a radio wave scanner, the heart is scanning the spectrum of frequencies available including positive, neutral and negative frequencies.

The conflict of thoughts and emotions exchanged between the heart and the brain is cause for not only unclear thinking but also releases stress hormones which are detrimental to an otherwise healthy state.

What about love?

Precisely, what about love? What impact can you, just one person, have on the world around you by engaging in connecting with your heart source?

Now that you know the heart is also a thinking machine, if you were to increase your awareness and connection with your heart, you could actually start to think with your heart as an alternative to thinking with your head. It’s impressive to understand there truly is a heart consciousness and it can be tapped into and affect our lives and the world around us.

The longer you can maintain a state of love, the more you can influence and affect your world because the energetic field that is transmitted via the love frequency emitted by the heart affects all living things within proximity to the loving heart. The electromatic love energy from a healthy heart can communicate with a failing heart and transmit signals to promote healthy heart hormones returning it to a more healthy state, in effect jump-starting the heart of another. This influential heart energy is increased exponentially when combined with a physical connection.

A healthy love-centered state of consciousness promotes harmony within the body and all of its various components, while also positively enhancing the healthy energies of hearts nearby.

More awareness of heart’s power to influence and manipulate and the world reveals that the heart’s energetic field not only affects – but changes – the molecular, atomic structure and DNA of the world around us thanks to emerging research in physics. Alternatively, the brain does not possess the power to accomplish this miraculous feat.

While the brain is a powerful storage facility and processor, the heart is a transmitter, can be laser focused and may be able to be transmitted beyond its 10 ft. energetic radius. You may conclude that your brain processes and manages your response to external data, while your heart literally has the ability to change the world.

So, how can we affect our world for real change?

Your heart’s electromagnetic field is powerful enough to change the world around you and it does. Here’s where the most important caveat comes in: With great power comes great responsibility.

What do you think?

What you think sets the frequency your heart transmits to the world around you. Your heart’s ability to influence the world can be used for good or for evil. This is to say that whatever state your thoughts maintain, effectively tuning your heart’s frequency for a period of time, actually changes the world (molecular, atomic, DNA) around you. If it remains in a negative state, its affects are negative.

Since you don’t want to be a negative generator, powering that which is negative, it’s of prime importance to focus our heart’s energies on positive love-based frequencies. This is the problem with standing or fighting against what you don’t want, because you’re actually rearranging the world to create more of what you don’t want.
Instead maintaining a positive love state, by endorsing and supporting the things that you do want, changes the world around you accordingly.

Your heart is a powerful weapon, if combined in concert with likeminded individuals emitting similar frequencies could be the most powerful weapon conceivable.

Think about it. Consider having a heart-talk with that other side of you.

Connection

There exists a connection that exists between people that transcends circumstance, time and space. Two (or more) people could be separated, yet still connected heart-to-heart by a thread that is not limited to the restrictions of geography, circumstance, time or space.

Such connections exist between mothers and their children, even children that have not been seen since birth still this bond remains. This tether is ever predominantly present between twins, but also (though at lesser intensity) between separated siblings (even if separated at birth or a very early age and raised in different families with no cognitive knowledge of each other) as well as the psychic cords connecting siblings, friends and even people who have never met.

Individuals who share this type of spiritual connection will often find that they have much in common when they do finally meet each other. They commonly like the same things like foods, fashion, hobbies or enjoyable activities and may share a higher level of communication, like thinking the same thoughts at the same time, knowing what is going to be said before the words are spoken, and could be considered a type of telepathic communication.

Spiritual connection between people known and unknown

It’s as if this bond existed prior to birth and persists throughout this life’s journey.

As we traverse our journey, we cross paths with individuals that we have been connected to. I find this of particular interest when someone is attracted to my life – to whom I have no biological connection with and have never known or met previously – who, when I meet them, there is a feeling of kinship, familiarity and knowingness of our being connected without rational explanation.

It’s like meeting up with a dear old friend after a period of separation, yet there was no previous relationship to base these feeling upon.

I have attracted individuals whom I have never met, whose lives have been so similar to my own (which anyone would think impossible to duplicate) that when we become acquainted, we immediately feel as though we’ve known each other before and shared our lives both concurrently and individually. Our recognition of our selves feels more like a reunion than a primal introduction.

Ever since I can remember, I have been seeking and waiting for my romantic soul mate, my one true love, but the evolutionary process of my life has made me keenly aware that we have many soul mates. They are not all romantic in nature and they include a number of people to whom we share this special connection.

I am so grateful to have met these individuals with whom I share a heart connection superceding logic throughout my life; starting with grade school and continuing throughout my life’s journey.

In fact, there is a possibility that as you read these words, you and I may be reconnecting, as you recognize our tethered hearts, even in this moment.

If so, I am so glad that we are getting acquainted (or more correctly “reacquainted”) even though it boggles the mind.

I’m already feeling like a celebration is in order.

How about you?

What do you think about this type of connection?

How would you explain it?