Talk to Your Inner Child

We all have that inner child which resides within us. This child represents your younger self, and inner being who is very much alive, but for the most part hidden from your consciousness until you meet your inner child.

Once you’ve become acquainted with your inner child (refer to him or her by name, your name), it’s prudent to pay attention to him or her, and to maintain a tender, caring relationship with your little tike. Your inner child is just like any other child and longs to be acknowledged, loved and cared for.

You don’t need to pay a therapist to talk to your inner child; the power of your imagination, is all you need to access and interact with your inner child.

Using your imagination, allow your inner child to appear to you and periodically tell that little guy or gal how much you love and adore him or her.

“I Love you. I adore you. You mean the world to me, and I will never let you down. I am here for you. I love you with all my heart. I Love you so much. I love you.”

There are other things your inner child needs to hear from you. Here are some ideas to think about what to say to your inner child. You may use these words, or come up with your own, as may be appropriate.

Because your inner child wants to be heard and understood, it’s good to establish an open and understanding relationship.

“I hear you. I know you’re going through things and I care so deeply for you. I am listening to you. You can always come to me, no matter what. I want to know how you are feeling and I am here for you any time you need me.”

Due to their increased sensitivity, whenever an inner child has their feelings hurt (they can hold a grudge for a lifetime), whether it was the past, or even in the present, they need to hear your validation of their being wronged, acknowledging the injustice.

“That was awful. No one should ever treat you like that. You’re a pure, loving child, undeserving of any disrespect, abusive behavior or words. This is just wrong, and of course, your feelings would be hurt; anyone’s would. You did nothing to deserve this.”

Remember, your inner child (just like everyone else) is only doing the best he or she can possibly do in terms of how they respond to things based on the tools he/she has access to at the time. Don’t ever let him or her think they could ever let you down, or disappoint you. Over time, he or she may mature and you might be able to equip him or her with understanding and coping mechanisms. Empower them to be who they are, where they are, right now.

“I know you did the best you could and you’re doing the best you can, right now in this moment. I will not judge you. I love you and in my eyes, you could really do nothing wrong.”

It’s good to say you’re sorry, whether it’s about you’re not paying attention to or listening to your inner child, or when something has taken place which has made them feel bad; something from an outside source that wasn’t their fault, that they had no control over.

“I am so sorry that I didn’t listen to you. I’m doing the best I can and I know that you are, too. And I am sorry that person made you feel bad. No one should have the right to do that. I am sorry, I love you.”

Sometimes your inner child takes responsibilities for things that was not his or her fault, or has unjustly carried a grudge against someone or something for a period of time (maybe a long time). Let your inner child know that you forgive him or her and that you harbor no ill feelings or judgment.

“I know you feel bad, maybe even mad, but this was not your fault. I totally understand why you might feel this way, and I totally forgive you for feeling this way, or even making me feel this way. You are my cherished treasure and in my eyes, in my life, and in my heart, you are utterly amazing. I forgive you.”

Validate your inner child’s existence, thank your him or her for being there, for being a part of your life.

“Thank you for being such an amazing part of my life. You are the most important thing to me, and I love everything about you. Without you I would be more than alone. You help give my life meaning, purpose and someone to love, no matter what. Without you I would be lost. I love you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

This, by no means, represents the only chats you can have with your inner child. Just as with anyone else, your conversations could be llimitless.

If you would like to share conversations you’ve had with your inner child, feel free to note them below.

 

Inner Child Tantrum

And then, totally unexpectedly, you burst into fight-or-flight, in an over-reactive defensive emotional outburst. After a moment, your state of mind relaxes enough to notice the expressions on the faces of the people witnessing your outburst; they must think you’re crazy. As you feel your emotions subside you’re wondering if you’re crazy, too. You know you were out of pocket, and can’t figure out what just happened.

Say, “Hello,” to your wounded inner child, who is throwing a tantrum.

Your inner child can break through and expose itself at any time, and usually expresses itself defensively, fearfully, frantically, or shamefully, in a way that is inconsistent with your normal adult state of being. Most of the time your inner child occupies the space in your mind and your heart but sometimes it breaks out in a way that encompasses your entire being.

Your inner child doesn’t always express itself negatively, it can also revel in joyous celebration in the best of times, but in most cases, your inner child hides in fear of being hurt due to wounds you may have suffered as a young child.

Since your youth you have grown into a strong adult and as you grew and matured your inner child fractured and found a safe place to reside inside you, so the more aware and physically demonstrable you could mature as you found your methods of interacting with your adult world in the most effective manner. Meanwhile, your inner child took the back seat.

Your inner child is content in hiding safely away deep inside you, but every once and a while gets it’s feelings hurt or feel threatened by something happening in your present and asserts itself, feeling its life is at risk or pitches a fit.

The inner child is always in a heightened state of awareness looking for potential threats. When something triggers it, he or she panics, initiating our instinctive reaction to either fight for life or flee in hopes of finding a safe retreat. In that moment your inner child has usurped your ability to cognitively manage your adult life. As you review the over-reaction, you can see there was no apparent threat, but your inner child perceived some detail that caused you to instinctively react as if there was a real threat.

When we are young, we find it hard to rationalize or make sense out of the injustices we suffer as a child. It isn’t long and we often realize that if we protest, we suffer negative consequences, so instead we learn to find ways to bottle up those fragile emotions and that part of ourselves which feels small and powerless fractionates from our conscious awareness and finds a safe place to hide inside of us. All that part of us wanted was to be accepted, loved, and protected, and even now, that’s all it really wants.

Therein lays the key to resolving the conflict between the adult rational part of you and your inner child.

You can give your inner child the love and acceptance he or she longs for and invite him or her to have an honored and safe place to live in your current world, where you can share life in harmony, no longer fractionated, safe and secure, with no need to hide.

Meet Your Inner Child

Ever notice someone’s irrational outbursts? Does it trigger recollections similar to a child throwing a tantrum, only in the bigness of adulthood? It’s likely that the person who is acting out in such a manner needs to reconcile their adult life with their inner child.

While it may sound like faux-psych new age folderol, all of us started out as children, and as such that young child within takes up residency deep within our being. For the most part it remains hidden because it has no physical form, but its existence and struggle for survival is undeniable. Your inner child for the most part resides safely protected in your unconscious mind, while your adult mind dominates the conscious mind. When your adult and inner child are in conflict with each other, behavioral and emotional inconsistencies become apparent, often leading to difficulties in relationships and managing adult life in general.

When your inner child asserts itself over your cognitive abilities, you will notice a variety of behaviors that are inconsistent with what would be considered normal thought patterns. Some indications of inner child outbursts range from self-sabotage to criminal behavior. The playground of the unbridled inner child often includes over-reacting, hostility, violent aggression, destructive behavior and other narcissistic tendencies.

Not to worry, we’re all in the same boat. We – all of us – are harboring our inner child. This is not a psychological condition, it is a very real part of who we are and how we evolve as adults. Becoming aware of the existence of your inner child is the first step.

Now that you are becoming aware of your inner child, the next step would be to reconcile, and learn to live with him or her. It is likely that for far too long your inner child has been neglected, abandoned or rejected. You can instead begin to acknowledge, honor, love and accept your inner child, allowing two-way communication and reasoning back and forth.

Your inner child’s identity is the result of the programming that has taken place thoughout our young life. Many of these are considered positive qualities like uninhibited creativity and joy, though negative attributes also become apparent, based on childhood experiences that foster hurt feelings, anger, fear, and other traumas.

The majority of our fellow earth dwellers will not embrace this idea, and God bless them as they continue to suffer from their inner irreconcilable differences. Why? Because we’re programmed by society, to consider our childlike nature be suppressed as we grow into adults and find our place within the societal structure. We are trained to starve the innocence, relentless inquisitive nature, playfulness and ability to fantasize wildly, until there is nothing left but leaving your inner child locked away in a prison, quietly ignored, until he/she asserts their existence.

Now that you are aware of your inner child, take the time to communicate and honor your inner child. He or she ha been neglected for too long. Now is the time to reconcile.

Getting to know your inner child can be one of the most exhilarating experiences, and will help you to overcome the inconsistencies in your life. It’s time to love and accept your inner child as a part of who you are. Invite him or her to play a part in the conscious part of your life and see how life becomes more brilliant.

A severely wounded inner child may be problematic due to unhealed wounds, but with loving, nurturing care and conscious effort, these wounds can be healed allowing you to flourish and a whole being.

Congratulations on creating an incredible partnership with your inner child, get ready to enjoy all the sweet life that awaits, and have some fun.