Looking for Love

Love is the power of life. If you are clever you can harness the power of love and have all the best things this life has to offer. Everything you want in life can be found in love. Love keeps you safe and secure. Love is the only thing that really lasts, gives meaning to life, and is the bond that holds us all together. Love is not a contract, a prison cell, or restrictive; no, love is supportive, knows no bounds, and sets you free.

Love is integrous, it honors you, what you want and what is important to you. Love wants you to be happy and desires to give you everything you want and so much more. Love gives you a glimpse of what’s on the other side, what is in store for you if you dare enough to love for it, and what is waiting for you when your life has run its course.

Love is the power that makes all this possible, everything you can taste, smell, see, hear, feel or experience is brought to you by the power of love.

Do not disrespect love. Don’t use the word to bring about a certain response from someone or outcome in a desperate situation. Instead, make sure everything you do in love is connected to your heart, your highest self, and God.

“I love you,” are the three sacred, most powerful words in this human experience. “I love you,” is the combination that disarms all locks and opens all doors for your highest and best, and is the most powerful force in the universe, when connected to your heart, your higher self, and God.

When you tell someone you love them, you are wielding the most powerful weapon in the universe. What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna honor the love that is in you, or break weak and allow you, or how you feel, to dishonor love? If you utter the words, “I love you,” you better be willing and able to back it up with everything you’ve got, unconditionally, or keep your mouth shut.

And you say, “I’ve loved before, and it nearly killed me!” Oh, yeah, what you thought was love will hurt you, it will mess with your head and your heart, and it will take you to places where you thought you’d never go, breaking your heart wide open, and leaving you for dead.

When used for evil, love can be the most destructive force in the world. Yes, there are people who use the power of love for evil. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. And when someone does, don’t judge them. Sure, you can be hurt, devastated… Someone just hit you with more power than the most powerful weapon known to man.

Do not let them win by killing you, the love within you, or lure you to the dark side of life. No. You find the love within you. That small ember of love is there, focusing on it causes it to energize and flame on. And with that flame of love, and everything you have in love, you give that love to your aggressor. You don’t have to say the words (God bless you, if you can) but you can send your love to the person who has failed love and used it for evil.

You may have given up on it, and find yourself saying, “I’m not worthy,” No one could ever love me. I am too selfish, too wounded, too fat, too tall, too young, too old, too… too… too… You are never too anything!

The most painful and arduous quest in life is the search for true love if you do not have a grasp of what it really is. Love is not the elusive, weak-kneed, find-your-soulmate, “if I can find someone to love me, my life will have meaning” kind of love you read about in books or long to see in the movies. It’s even a step beyond the “I love you no matter what” kind of love.

No. If you look for love outside of yourself, you will never find it. Oh, you might see someone displaying love’s attributes, and if you’re like me, when you do, it gets you right here, in my heart, and I’m likely to shed a tear, because there is nothing more meaningful to me than seeing someone honoring love and with integrity, honesty, openness, humility, and transparency: Loving.

The love you seek is not some elusive thing, hidden out there for you to constantly be looking for. If you’re out there looking for it, you will never find it.

True love was placed inside of you in that magical moment of creation and it has been there ever since.

You may not know it, but if the love in you left your body, your body would fall to the floor, lifeless. Without love you are nothing. So, if your heart still beats and there’s at least one more breath in you, love is there.

You ask, “But what if I die?”

You and your love may leave your body, but your love never ends; it goes on and on and on… to infinity.

Are you ready for love?

Check out the: Awakening to True Love Workshop

Why Is Love So Hard?

You’ve been there. You’ve fallen in love with someone, given your heart, mind, body and soul to someone and expected the same in return. More often than not, loving someone and expecting them to love you in return invites a world of trouble and what appear to be insurmountable obstacles. It can leave you asking, “Why is love so hard?”

First of all, keep in mind that we’re talking about two different people. There are three different thoughts about how relationships are formed, based on

Opposites Attract
People are attracted to Carbon Copies
Attraction is Chaos

When opposites attract, of course, trying to work it all out will be problematic. In fact, this is the entire concept of attracting your Twin Flame. The idea of the twin flame insists your partner is the polar opposite of you, the other half of you, destined to create a higher version of yourself when the two of you are united if you can survive the hell and high water to achieve exponential personal growth.

When people are attracted to carbon copies, they are (often unconsciously) looking for someone who is familiar, either like someone who was a powerful influence (positive or negative) in their earlier life, or someone who is like themselves in compatibility (or “chemistry”).

Then there is the thought that attraction is chaos and random. In this scenario, there is a degree of animal magnetism, followed by the assumption that no one is every truly satisfied in romantic relationships. These relationships are destined for trouble but if the couple is willing to work hard at it, they can maintain a long term relationship.
Some of the things that can make trying to maintain a relationship so hard include

What Is Love?

In my work with couples, it is common for individuals in a relationship not to have the same definition of what love is. How can a couple be “in love” when they don’t share the same idea of love’s definition?

Our society has warped the sense of love’s definition by offering romantic ideals based on fairy tale knights in shining armor and Disney Cinderellas to films depicting love at first sight and other magic of falling in love concepts.

Of course, there are more substantial concepts of love which include love as being based on integrity and commitment which means you stay with your partner whether you like it or not because you made a promise or signed a contract. On the other end of the spectrum are people who approach the idea of love as being an opportunity for personal and/or spiritual growth.

Understanding each other’s definition of love, coming to a shared definition and understanding how each person feels as though they are being loved are two of the best tools to have an idea of early on in the relationship or when looking for ways to offer help in a troubled relationship.

You Are Afraid

Fear is the reason for failure not only in relationships, but other areas of life as well. Fear is the most destructive force in our world and it hides deep inside you, and it serves only two purposes: To Protect You from Pain or Death – or – To Destroy Any Hope of Having a Good Life. In relationships participants are afraid of committing to another person, afraid that if they leave themselves open they will experience pain and/or loss of self. There is the fear that your mate may not be “the one” (what if someone better comes along?). There is the fear that love will fade, the initial attraction dissolves or each of the partners fall into stereotypical roles in the relationship. What if your partner devolves into an abuser or suffers health challenges that would scare anyone who might be left the eternal caretaker?

Atop the heap of fear of the endless unknown or expected possible negative outcomes is the fear promoted by witnessing the failed relationships all around you. Trust is the hardest thing to establish in a world where you are surrounded by unrequited love, infidelity, dishonesty, lies, physical or mental abuse, secret-keeping, addictions, embezzlement, con games, and a degree of evil lurking in the shadows seeking to break or destroy you. You have seen many relationships fail as most of them do, or witnessed the sacrificial martyrdom of one of the participants in a relationship to “make it work” and you don’t want that to happen to you. It’s no wonder you’re frightened about falling in love.

There Is No Such Thing as Love

Then there is the idea that there is no such thing as love, where people believe that love is nothing more than an ideal, thought process of tool used to get what you want in life. Let’s face it; society has trained us to believe love is a superficial means to an end. In this materialistic scenario there is no real connection between two people, instead one or both parties are shallow participants only focused on what they can get out of the relationship. When they fail to get what they want, or feel like they see a better deal on the horizon, they’re gone.

Don’t Want to Deal With It

No one wants a great deal of drama in their life, and if you’re in a close relationship with someone else (even if it’s not a romantic relationship) it can become problematic.
For the people who will avoid conflict or confrontation at all costs, it’s easier just to bail out altogether. There is no sense of fighting for love, what is right or the greater good. Instead of thinking, “I’d rather fight than quit,” these folks are more likely to think it’s time to, “Cut my losses,” and walk away because it’s easier than dealing with the drama or facing their own inner issues (especially, if they think there is a potentially better relationship waiting in the wings).

The Broken Hearted

It is harder for one who has loved and lost due to having their heart severely broken or crushed than one who has not endured this type of pain. The broken hearted people have a great deal to work through before they can be truly ready to re-enter a love relationship, but they often seek to quickly replace the love that was lost by seeking out a new relationship, like a love band aid, to treat the wound, but this is only superficial treatment and will likely lead to the failure of the subsequent relationship. Others, out of fear, will avoid putting themselves at risk, ever again. So, the broken-hearted must heal their broken heart to have any hope of an effective love relationship.

The Uncompromising List

After a few go-rounds in the relationship department, you tend to accumulate a list of what you don’t want to see in future relationships based on your negative love observations and experiences. Unfortunately, if you focus on the negatives of past relationships, you are likely to attract more negatives in future relationships; it’s how the law of attraction works.

No matter how complete and comprehensive you list is, it can be difficult (if not impossible) to find anyone who can measure up to your standards.

Not that this is completely a bad idea. Instead of focusing on negatives, focus on the positives and make a list of only these qualities, like my soul mate list. You will be surprised at what may appear on love’s horizon.

Don’t See Eye to Eye

In this day and age, there is a preponderance of posturing for separation. Society promotes the polarization among people and also in relationships, which makes us all somewhat narcissistic as we care less and less about others and more and more about ourselves.

Even though you are separate people, you need to look for opportunities to find the common ground, which you can share together in the long run, while allowing each of you to maintain your independence, a sort of interdependence instead of codependency.

In a relationship between two people, there is so much to manage, prioritize and compromise to affect a successful and long lasting romantic relationship. It takes work, investment of resources (time, emotion and financial) and a commitment to work it out rather than bailing out.

Is Love Worth It?

This is a question you have to ask and answer for yourself.

I will always be ever the romantic, believing that love is the most powerful force in the universe and can conquer anything. Love is the highest and best vibration in the world.

Is love easy? No. Is life easy? No. If it was, where would be the excitement in that?

It’s better to work on your relationship in love, rather than not to have a love relationship to work on at all. It will take work, I believe it’s worth it.

If you believe, and are looking for a way to break through to the other side of your most amazing love adventure ever, call me.