Build Bridges Don’t Burn Them

We all need people to get the best things in life, paradoxically, there are many people who will block your attempts to live a better life. So, to protect yourself, you hold the supportive people close to you and reject those who don’t. Build bridges don’t burn them.

Its no secret that we are surrounded by others who are there to share this experience of life, both the good and the not so good. Once you start focusing on your individual journey it’s easy to get in the pattern of extricating people from your life.

You first understand that there are those in your life who are toxic people or energy vampires, so you remove them from your circle of influence to protect the sacred space you need to do your deep inner work.

There is a certain as you clean up your people space, you realize how powerful you can be in controlling your personal space, and you get used to the idea of pushing others away. While this is important in the beginning, as you mature you realize that is better to build bridges instead of burning them.

It’s a fact, we need people. They help support us, and even the most difficult people can hold the keys to greater personal growth and expansions. They might even be the gatekeepers of the one elusive thing you are looking for.

If you are in the habit of pushing others away, it is likely that you are pushing other opportunities away as well. It is far better to allow and gather than to burn and clear. They are on opposite ends of the energy flow spectrum.

If you want the best things in life to be attracted to you and come easily then you want to remain in a state of loving acceptance, building bridges as you go. Those who are burning bridges can still have everything they want in life but will have a more difficult road ahead as they work hard and fight for everything their heart desires.

It takes far more time and energy to build and maintain bridges, rather than just burning them as you go. Building bridges, keep the line of communication open between those who are less desirable without having to burn the bridge and completely cutting off the relationship.

Building and maintaining a bridge with people who are abusive to you is never encouraged unless you can manage a way to maintain connection without being at risk of further abuse. Otherwise, it is likely important and meaningful to keep lines of communication open with those people in your life which might look as if they appear not to be beneficial at first blush.

Difficult people who are brought into your life often are the most valuable as you grow and expand, as they are placed in your life at the most provocative times to help either challenge or redirect you to opportunities which would have otherwise not been overlooked by you as you were focused on your journey, without taking the time to slow down, stop and smell the roses, so to speak.

In this respect, you are far better off to embrace the advice to build bridges don’t burn them, in effect to keep yourself in a state of openness and allowance, so that the best things in life can come to you easily.

A requirement to have the greatest state of welcoming and allowance is to wrap your head around the idea of not taking things personally and allowing what is to be.

Not taking things personally means that you are open to all possibilities, When someone says or does something, you realize that it has very little (probably nothing) to do about you at all. In most (if not all) cases, when someone says or does something that doesn’t sit right with you or is contradictory to what a concept that you hold dearly, it is not about you, it’s about them.

When people are hurting and in pain or incongruence in their life, they strike out at others. This is simply a person crying out, not attacking you. Once you understand this, you can be more compassionate and empathetic to their plight.

Allowing what is to be is simply what it is. What is, is what is, and it doesn’t need your attention or intervention if it doesn’t directly affect you. You can look at something that doesn’t resonate with you, acknowledge it, shrug your shoulders and just accept that it is happening, but not letting it derail your vibration or train of thought.

Build bridges don’t burn them. Without subjecting yourself to abuse, welcome and allow others to be in your life without taking things personally and allowing what is to be.

Nakedness in Relationships

Relationships can be scary, especially the more intimate the relationship the greater the exposures. There are various degrees of nakedness in relationships. In less intimate relationships there is less nakedness, while the most intimate relationships include full nudity.

Of course, I am not referring to the nakedness of being unclothed, but of being fully exposed, allowing yourself to be seen intimately without any social or emotional covering or façade.

We all desire to connect with other people, to know one another to varying degrees. We find comfort in having people in our lives with whom we can relax, and just be ourselves.

You are so much more than your public persona. You have a particular view of yourself, of how you want the world to perceive you, so you adopt a fully adorned representation of yourself to present to the world. No one knows this is just an act, except for you.

Yet, you desire to drop all the act and to be fully open, honest, transparent, and fully naked, loved and accepted for who you are with no pretense, agenda, or need for covering the vulnerable you who is hidden underneath the multiple layers of your external representation.

You have many levels of intimacy, where you shed some of the public personas and let others have glimpses of who you really are among friends and family. Still, you yearn for someone with whom you can be fully naked, without the fear of stripped down to the most intimate details of your life and who you really are.

In most cases, the only hope you have is to find a romantic mate with whom you can share the most intimate details of your life without the threat of judgment. This is love. As much as you desire such a level of vulnerable intimacy, it is possible to trust someone not to judge you or disclose your innermost secrets to the world?

To be fully naked, not just in the body, but in the soul, where your partner can see and hopefully some grasp of, level of understanding, or at least an inkling of what private things have hurt you in the past, why you have certain sensitivities, what makes you tick, and what turns you on, not just in the sexual sense, but what makes your heart sing, and why.

Where do you doubt yourself? What are your shortcomings? What are your greatest fears?

What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What makes you want to throw caution to the wind and go for it?

This level of nakedness in relationships is what engenders true intimacy, entrusting your most intimate details in full view of your closest, most intimate partner. The one you can trust with all your transparent nakedness, fully exposed, with nothing left to hide.

This represents your most intimate relationship of all, yet it is elusive, and you fear opening up in such intimacy because you fear that you cannot trust anyone with the intimate details of your life.

It is likely that you trusted someone with some intimate details of your life only to have them disregard and disrespect you, judge you for intimating such details, and/or used your openness and honest against you.

You’ve learned, the hard way, not to trust anyone.

Still, your heart yearns to be joined with someone you can fully reveal yourself, who you can trust as the witness to the completeness of your life, as you are for him or her, the same.

This is the nature of the romantic soul mate, the one with whom you may have the potential of sharing an unconditional love.

You will run across many soul mates along the journey of your life, some who are potentially the best of friends, or the most intimate of lovers.

I hear countless regrets from those who later in life realize they once, or many times, had access to a potential soul mate but did not allow the relationship to explore the possibilities due to fear.

You must be able you overcome your fear to take the risk of experiencing nakedness in relationships in order to allow the soul mate to reveal him or her -self to you.

Your fear causes you to interrupt the idea with, “But…”

You’ve got to move your but to what. “What if…?”

Your what to when, “When should I…”

Your when to now. “Now is a good time to take action.”

Make a move to take the action to see if the possibility is closer than you thought.

If it turns out it’s not, keep looking and taking action to test the water, being mindful of the nakedness, or level of transparent intimacy you share, may not include actual nudity or be sexual in any way.

Don’t let your life be filled with the regret of having let him or her get away.

He or she is out there, waiting for you to reach out.

Lasting Love Secret Ingredient

While trust is the most important foundational component of a successful love relationship, there is a secret ingredient in the chemistry of love which effectively predicts the long-lasting nature of a growing love relationship between two people.

If you want to have a great love that will last the test of time you must possess tolerance. Tolerance is the acceptance that we are all in a constant state of change. Just as you desire people (more specifically your partner) to love and accept you, wherever you are in your station of life, you must have both the willingness and the ability to love and accept your partner, whatever state or condition he or she is in at any time.

This is not a ploy or a game to manipulate your relationship, authentically loving and acceptance can only initiate in the heart space, and as you may have guessed the love and acceptance must start with you. You are a vibrational being vibrating at a specific frequency, you cannot give what you do not possess for yourself. So to truly be tolerant, you must first fully love and accept yourself, your history, your physiological makeup, everything about you, on the surface and deep within.

You must be in love with and full acceptance of you, your ever-changing emotional (at time unflattering) states, such as sadness, anger, and fear. You must be aware and know your ego and your relationship with it.

From this authentic place of loving and accepting yourself, aligning you as a person with that greater and higher part of you, or spirit, you can bestow love and acceptance to others from the heart with integrity. You are now able to better become one with the world, or the people who inhabit it, both paired and universally.

 

That sets the bar high but you have been called to this level of love and understanding as part of your metamorphosis and evolution, otherwise, you will have continued difficulty in connecting and communicating with your partner(s), especially when things are less than buoyant.

This concept is not so far removed from you that you cannot comprehend it because you yearn for this love and acceptance yourself. You want to be loved just the way you are without being judged or made fun of. Isn’t that right?

Then, embracing yourself, then allowing others to be as they are, while you love and accept them, just as you would like to be, is the next logical step.

While this applies to you, how much more so should this apply to the one other person who you love, and who loves you in return?

When your partner does or says something that makes you feel intolerant, as if he or she did or said something wrong, disrespectful, uncaring or even hurt your feelings. The first place to look, is not at your partner, but within. This is a surefire indicator that you have unresolved issues bubbling up inside of you, from the past, most likely from the distant past, which has been brewing and gaining pressure over time, looking for a place to escape.

While lashing out at your partner is an effective way to release the pressure, not only is it unglamorous, but you are better than that. You deserve better reducing your relationships to varying states of love and fear. You deserve relief and release of those things within that hold you back and drive a wedge between you and someone you love.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t have a safe, sacred space to fully express your thoughts and emotions, even if they are negative)