Tag: love and romance

How to Turn it On When the Thrill is Gone

Seems like it wasn’t that long ago and your relationship was full of vibrant energy, with heightened passion and intimacy. It is common for these to fade over time. Here are some invaluable tools to apply to your relationship if the thrill is gone.

You and your partner have been together for a while and one thing is for certain in any long-term relationship: the natural sheen tends to dull after a while. It doesn’t have to. You can breathe the breath of new life into any relationship at any time (better if done before it tends to turn stale).

Every relationship should have started with a unique chemistry. If the chemistry were not there, you probably wouldn’t have gotten together in the first place (unless you are in an arranged marriage). So, if the base chemistry is there, it can be re-engaged at any time, with very little effort on your part.

Passion and romance are begging for release, all they need is a gentle nudge to get them going in all their glory.

If you think back to when your relationship was fresh and new, you can think of activities you engaged in when you were in the throes of young love. Everything was new and exciting, life was more interesting and fun. You found yourselves in a more playful state of mind.

Since then you probably have settled into life as it is, and there has been a trend of just getting though life the best you can with as little conflict as possible.

Simply recreating or recapturing the look and feel of those early romantic times will reignite the smoldering embers, and you might be surprised at how little effort it will take.

Make time for each other. When we get bogged down with everyday life, it’s easy just to come home and give up. Instead, give yourself 20 or 30 minutes to unwind, then get up and find ways to put some zest back in your relationship.

If you are dealing with a chronic lack of energy, deal with this first. You can’t really energetically engage with your partner if your cup is empty. Find ways to destress and build your own energy reserves and share from the overflow.

What should you do? There’s a pretty good chance you know your partner well enough to have a good idea about what turns him or her on, what piques his or her interest and gets him of her excited (not just in a sexual way). There are certain subjects and ideas that will break the trance of everyday life, if you engage that passionate side of their brain by simply talking about something they like or are passionate about.

Your tendency might be to talk about the things which are important to you, but talking about what’s important to your partner will engage his or her passion, and it won’t take long and they will find opportunities to find other ways to express their passion.

Invite your inner child (inner children) to participate in your relationship. You will fine them excited and looking for ways to express themselves playfully, always eager to have a good time and have fun.

Do something fun.

Avoid the things that will drain the energy from an otherwise healthy relationship, like boredom, or falling into a rut of the same ol’ same ol’. Negative postures, such as criticism, or facing something which appears as though it might be too complicated.

If either you, or your partner, are feeling misunderstood, not appreciated, or valued, the energy for passion quickly dissipates.

Withheld long-standing resentments can build a tremendous amount of pressure over time. It is always a best practice to deal with little things that come up now and then, and deal with them early on, rather than letting them grow into something more negative.

If you have something important to say or share, follow John Gottman’s advice and start off with five positive statements about your partner first, before getting into the other stuff.

Always seek to first understand and then to arrive at a win/win solution. It may take a little more effort, but it is far worth it, with the benefit of increased intimacy and passion as the pay-off.

Certain odiferous scents can have a negative effect on an otherwise romantic air. Make sure you and your environment have an inviting and pleasant, even romantic, air about it.

The smallest, genuine gesture can reignite the flame of romance in a heartbeat, don’t be shy about doing something small, cute, and/or endearing.

Reignition can happen in a moment, saying something positive, a little text, the smallest uplifting thing can light the flame.

Learning to effectively listen, communicate, and understand each other is the key to continued unbridled passion.

Rebuild relational good will by seeking to be supportive, seek to understand and also to be understood. Find ways and seize opportunities to touch each other, not just sexually, but by touching or holding hands, and/or cuddling, and hugging. This increases the connection by raising the oxytocin (bonding hormone) level (men need three-times the physical contact to maintain the bonding effect).

Appreciation adds miles to your relationship high road, we all hope to please our partners and hearing or being shown that we are appreciated for what we bring to the table is extremely endearing and ramps up the love and excitement.

You can set your romance fire ablaze by introducing newness, doing things differently and trying new things, role-play, or go on a romantic scavenger hunt.

Create your own individual language, both spoken and unspoken, like the most successful couples do, so that when you’re out in public you can say a word or cast a facial expression that is only understood by you and your partner.

Al little fantasy, mystery or surprise will kick your ecstasy into overdrive, as well as talking about exciting intimate details about intimately private details (they don’t even have to be recent). All little sexy nostalgia goes a long way.

Find ways to boost your energy levels together by exercising, dancing, stump-busting, racing, skydiving (could be indoors), taking in a concert, or attending a comedy club. Any such activities will translate into romantic energy which can translate into increased sexual tension looking for ways to express themselves.

Every couple is different and what works for one couple may not work for the next. So, find your own unique romance-fire-starters. Find out what works for you, and when you know it does, do more of that.

Rekindle the Flame of Love

How can it be? You’ve been together a while and everything was so good, you were both so connected but lately it feels as though what’s left of the flame of love feels like it’s going out. Before you think about cashing it in or looking for greener grass, think about taking measures to rekindle the flame of love in your relationship.

Be aware that all relationships have a tendency to experience this fading effect over time. It’s not just you. The couples who make it understand this and make it through, not just by mere drudgery and sticking it out whether one likes it or not, not out of fear of loss, but the most successful couples do so by rekindling the flame of love.

In case you’re wondering what these power couples do to rekindle the flame of love, following are some of the secrets to their relationships success. You might think about employing some of these powerful techniques yourself.

Remember when the flame of love was burning brightly? Chances are there were certain gestures and activities which you engaged in back in the day when your love was on fire. It doesn’t require rocket science to think that if you were to reengage in the gestures and activities which you did back then, that the embers of love might begin to burn once again.

Remember the small things. After a while you just sort of get used to someone being there and you forget to do the little things (or there may be the likelihood that you never did. If so, now is the time to start) the less expensive the better. Little things like setting a cup of coffee on the nightstand next to a waking partner. Leaving little love notes around the house, or whatever small concession which communicates to your partner that you haven’t forgotten about him or her and still regard your partner as precious.

Here’s a fun project you can do, and if your partner joins in, it can pull your love out of the slump by remembering all the good things you love about your partner. Make a list. Write down all those things that you think are (or “were”) so adorable when your love was vibrant and alive. Share them with each other. Sometimes you just need to remember why you feel in love in the first place. Also, things can change over time, and maybe something you thought was an incredible quality in the beginning ended up being a nuisance later (don’t put those on the list).

Another powerful tool to use when the love flame starts to dim is to find new interests in each other. There are probably some interests that your partner finds exciting (or at least, interesting) which hasn’t particularly captured your interest in the past. Try learning about or trying to understand what your partner finds so fascinating about this particular thing or activity which you may have avoided altogether until now. You may be surprised how getting involved in your partner’s activity can set your love flame ablaze. The same can also be true for trying any completely new activity together, like a dance class, or parachuting (okay, maybe not parachuting).

Set up a private rendezvous with each other. No need to book a fancy hotel, you can lock yourself in your bedroom without cell phones or other devices, have a private picnic, and just “be” with each other, whatever that means for you, no holds barred. This can be an incredible opportunity for the two of you to reconnect, spend uninterrupted time with each other in a safe and familiar environment. You never know, intimate passion may also visit your private together-time.

Find ways to be playful by creating your own special language, so that you can say a particular word or phrase in a certain manner in public, and no one knows what’s going on, only the two of you know what it means. Find ways to play games with each other that create and grow intimacy while having a little fun while you’re at it. A little playful role-playing in public can go a long way. Maybe pretend like you’re hitting on your partner in a public place, as if you’ve never met him or her before.

Okay, here’s the two-part doozie, “Know what you want,” and, “ask for it.” You might be surprised to know that in the most unsuccessful relationships, either one or both partners don’t even know what they want or need in from their partner or the relationship. So start there. Note this is an advanced tactic because there is so much to be said for presentation. Yes, you want to be able to express what you want, and you should give your partner an opportunity to give you what you want, but you want to do it in a gentle and mindful fashion, so as not to put your partner on the defensive.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Can you think of other ways to rekindle the flame of love? If so, enter your comments below:

In Love and Business

Couples in a loving relationship may find their way into a scenario where, as they are growing, changing, and expanding, they find themselves seeking self-sufficiency as they allow for more abundance in their lives by inviting entrepreneurship to join them on their journey. While financial opportunities abound, we all love the idea of doing what you love and allowing cash flow to be created doing so, how can this affect the relationship in love and business?

When your career is outside the home, it’s easy to come home, disconnect from the daily routine, unwind, and relax because there’s a clear separation between work and home. For the couple who is engaging in business together, this can be more of a challenge as you are undoubtedly going to be engaged in the work of running your business as it is part of, or overflows into, your home life.

As you may have guessed, these people find their way into my practice as they pursue their desires as they have proclaimed, “I want to do something with my life.”

Here are some ideas to successfully navigate your relationship in love and business.

1 Love Comes First

You must remember that while you may be partners in business, you are partners in love first and foremost. Your love has priority over all business activities. Make this your primary component in your values as a couple.

No matter what comes up, your partner comes first. You each must have the faith and assuredness that you have each other’s back in any situation, circumstance, or challenge you might face.

2 Create Space for Business

If not physical space, then at least emotional space. Create a state of consciousness where you conduct business matters and have discussions about the detail regarding business. This space does not need to remain completely devoid of romance, as there can be room for free-flowing, but keep your sacred love space separated (no heavy business details in the love space).

When your energy needs to be focused on business challenges you can go to this place and dissect all the components and examine the details without the fear that this might encroach upon your love space.

3 Trust

You need to trust your partner impeccably, but also you need to trust your business. You need to allow the business to be a tool, a vehicle, to teach you, to encourage growth, and expansion in just the right way that is perfect for you and your partner.

Being in business together can create many opportunities for learning, growing, and expanding together. Trust that all is in divine order.

4 Listen

Listen to your partner as well as that still small voice from within. Your partner, as well as your higher self, will often have unexpected clues to opportunities or obstacles that you might be unaware of or unable to see from your vantage point in the business trenches.

Be open and willing to listen, even if at first blush the idea or concept presented might be incongruent with your current thought processes. Don’t just listen to the words, but look through the eyes of love for the deeper meaning, try to hear the underlying message which might be trying to alert you about a particular opportunity or obstacle.

5 Review in Love

After you’ve had time to focus on business in the business space (remember, this doesn’t have to be physical space) you can retreat to your sacred love space. Agree to leave the heavy details behind, relax, and review the events, just as if you’d come home from work to discuss your day.

In this safe and sacred space, you might be given insight that could not be seen from the business space. Here, new ideas, dreams, and desires for the business may emerge, as well as an increased capacity for creative problem solving from this alternate vantage point.

6 Celebrate

If not at the end of every day, then certainly as often as possible celebrate. Make it a part of your strategy in love and business, relax, or go out to dinner, take a day trip, or whatever suits your fancy to celebrate wins (even the most minute ones) and take time to enjoy the goodness of having the freedom to be your own boss, set your own hours (and remember, this is a business expense).

You are entering a new phase and higher quality of life. If you can survive and maintain a high love vibration, health, wellness, and as much peace of mind as you can manage, you can enjoy true freedom, including financial freedom, if you remain in love, open and undeniably supportive of each other throughout this process.

Complexity in Romance

As you’re growing, changing, expanding, and evolving you may notice complexity in romance as your romantic relationships begin to don a new look and feel. As you are becoming more empowered and are filling your desire for love from within, your attention shifts because you no longer are as needy as you were before. You no longer seek love from outside yourself. Instead, you let your limitless love which wells up within you to overflow to others, which leads to complexity in romance due to your spiritual growth.

When you are looking for your soul mate or romantic interest, often you are in search of characteristics which would compliment your own, and – more importantly – you are likely to be looking for support for areas in your life which are lacking.

As you grow and change, you become more confident as the things which may have made you feel as though you needed support from someone else begin to resolve themselves. The areas of your life where you felt inadequacies are no longer threatening to you as your personal growth affects all areas of your life including emotional, physical, spiritual and financial.

If you were lacking in some of these key areas of life when you were looking for a suitable mate, it is likely you sought someone who could assist you in these areas. As you evolve into the higher version of yourself, you no longer seek fulfillment of these areas of life from your partner.

Does that mean love fades?

No. The love that you share with your partner could exponentially grow uninhibited by your need to seek fulfillment in him or her if you are headed in the same direction. On the other hand, it could lead to complexity in romance, as one of you grows and expands, the other one might not, or you could begin to grow in completely different ways, leading lives on diverging paths.

Romantic relationships are a key component in the process of growth. For instance, things are rarely conflict-free in a relationship between two people. When the opportunity for conflict presents itself, it is often an indicator of some inner work that needs to be addressed within yourself, even though it may feel as though your partner is wrong, or attacking you.

Once you start addressing romantic complexities in this way your growth and evolution accelerates as you are constantly finding your heart, body, mind, and soul in a perpetual state of metamorphosis. Instead of looking at ways to mitigate the damages, you are healing those overwhelming and/or delicately intimate areas of your life.

In this way, romantic partners provide us with a mirror which reflects to our consciousness those areas which need to be addressed further expanding your continued growth and evolution. There could come a time when your continued growth may not be impacted by this person anymore. If you are still in need of further inner growth, you may attract someone else in your life to work out your other life issues.

Ever notice how you (or someone else) might be attracting the same kind of person into your life over and over again? This is a clear indication that you have unresolved issues that you have not processed internally, yet. Until you have done so, you will always attract the type of person who will present these issues to you as if they were on a silver platter.

“It’s not me. It’s them!”

Sure, it looks like they’re at fault, but this is a bold indication that there is work in you centered around this area of life that needs to be addressed and dealt with until you can move to a higher vibrtational relationship.

Once this relationship has served its purpose, the romantic interest will fade, leaving you feeling more like pleasant roommates or brother and sister. If anger and resentment persists, this chapter has not reached its conclusion. Separation may be bitter and painful, and (sorry to say) more of the same is already on its way.

When you have healed and evolved to a certain degree of healthy advancement, only them can you truly exercise your free will when attracting and selecting a mate, otherwise, your seeking will be powered by lack and need for growth.

At some point you will begin to understand that relationships don’t happen to you, they are manifested from that deepest part of you which seeks to encourage your personal growth and expansion. You are never a victim, always the student.

You will never again cry out the question,

“Why is this happening to me?”

Because you will know you attracted this complexity in romance for your greatest good. When you find the lesson, apply the understanding, heal and grow through to the next level, you are genuinely grateful for the experience and are able to continue, no longer having to suffer the angst of that issue forthwith.

You are Healing Love

There is no one to blame for feeling as though you are in conflict, disrespected, or abused when complexity in romance arises. Once you understand the truth, you welcome these feelings as indicators of areas of life which need to be addressed before you can move on, and it’s all on you. You are the healing lover.

It’s then that you realize that everything is connected. Everything happens at the right time and everything is perfectly perfect. Now, you can sit back, relax, love and enjoy the show.

Want to learn more? Consider attending an Awakening to True Love Workshop.

Romantic Manipulation

Romance is such a cluster… who in the world could figure it out? Is it a mating ritual? Is it manipulation and grooming? Is it an expression of love, or the steps to claim ownership or gain control of another person? And what’s love got to do with it?

If we take a look at nature (a live system without sociological control mechanisms put in place to control these life forms) there does appear to be signs of mating rituals which are highly instinctual. That offers a substantial basis for romance as a mating ritual.

Observing nature, the instinctive ritual is highly manipulative and targeted at one specific goal; to get laid.

Procreation is also an added benefit of getting laid in nature, it keeps the cycle moving along…

Then there are us, the “highly evolved” inhabitants of this planet striving to hook up and find greater meaning in all that life has to offer, some of us more than others.

For us, romance seems to be connected to our instinctual quest for survival under the best possible circumstances, so we’re attracted to particular characteristics and signs which would indicate successful survival.

When entertaining the idea of mate selection, we evaluate a wide variety of indicators, such as genetic cues, like good looks, and healthy appearance, as well as specific personality traits, intelligence and body image, as these, will be passed on to potential offspring.

Then there is the safety and security we seek, so we look for monetary stability, which may include familial money, a good job, retirement, and benefits. Indicators of success and stability are fancy cars, jewelry, designer clothing, and accessories. Other indicators might include certain fragrances, hairstyles, nails, and makeup.

We use these things as clues to reveal someone’s worthiness of our romantic attention.

The trick here is that knowing that the indicators of success will likely reduce the resistance of the sifting and sorting of prospective mates, there are individuals who will sacrifice all to attain the key indicators to manipulate others so that they can get laid, which is all quite normal in nature.

Manipulation is a method imposed on an individual so as to create the desired response. Official definitions of manipulation include the skillful, clever, unfair, and dishonest tactics used to influence or control someone.

The problem is that when someone has been duped into falling in love in another’s quest to get laid, therein lies the rub.

Love is unquestionably the strongest emotion of all, even if it is misinterpreted and ill-defined, it still is highly connected to the heart which science is now revealing is a physical component more powerful than the brain.

Love is the most powerful drug among us, and our bodies have it racing inside us looking for opportunities to release itself. We want it, we crave it, and spend our lives in search of it. Only to find that it can never be obtained outside our selves.

Some of us are opting out of romantic manipulation and into higher concepts of love and its associated vibrations.

If you are tired of the endless search for love that will never satisfy your craving for it, you might like to consider looking at love in an entirely new way, empowering you to manifest all the unlimited unconditional love you could possibly imagine.

You might consider attending an Awakening to True Love Workshop at a location near you.

How Do You Know When You’re in Love?

You’ve been seeing this person for a while and things are going well. So well, in fact, that you start to ask yourself, “Am I in love?” If you start asking the question, there’s a good chance you may be falling in love and you start looking for signs you’re in love, but how do you know when you’re in love?

Signs You’re In Love

You think more about them than you think about yourself

If you find yourself going through the day thinking or day dreaming about them and find you are projecting them into your routine when they’re not around, then you might be falling in love. When you love someone, when you’re shopping, you might wonder what he/she might link about what you’re thinking about buying. Little things, like driving by a billboard will make you wonder what he/she might think about that, or passing a cineplex and you find yourself wondering which movie he/she might enjoy seeing with you. If you are finding yourself thinking about them in these little ways (without obsessing), there’s a good chance you are in love.

You’re love lab’s chemistry kicks in

There is no doubt that love is a science project on crack. If you’re in it, the mad scientist inside you is pumping all kinds of chemicals racing through your heart, mind and body, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopresson, creating the same sense of euphoria as taking a hit of cocaine. You really are high on love. You find yourself feeling happier and more confident when you are thinking about this person and find yourself feeling even better when you’re anticipating being in their presence as your chemical sense of attachment increases.

You put up with them, gladly

He or she may not be perfect, but you love them just the same. This is a healthy balance, being able to see their quirks and find them somewhat endearing, instead of putting them down for their flaws. You don’t think they’re perfect, only that he or she is just perfect for you, with all his/her shortcomings. If certain characteristics are less desirable than others, you are able to point them out to each other in a healthy way and help each other refine yourselves as you desire to grow and become better versions of yourself. And those things that make you smile or laugh at yourselves (because they’re so cute) as both of you stumble or find yourselves in awkward situations that could have been handled better, this is more positive than ridiculing or judging your partner and demanding change.

You are growing and changing

When people fall in love, they don’t just adopt the other person’s likes/dislikes. Instead, they each desire to become better versions of themselves as they begin to look at life with the support of their loved one and you begin to change. Your daily routine(s) and habits change noticeably. You find yourself more aware of how you spend your time, and you are finding better ways to maximize the precious moments you have available and are motivated to work on your own shortcomings and developing your individual characteristics. You are more comfortable with life, and are likely to find yourself finding ways to contribute to your community and make the world a better place.

You are more apt to compromise

Not only are you considering the thought of compromise, taking the thoughts and ideals of your loved one into consideration, but you’re not self-sacrificing or falling into martyrdom as you seek to negotiate to arrive at win-win solutions, so that you both get satisfaction from the resulting agreement. Being iin love with someone means you can actually feel good about the process of compromise and arriving at a mutually beneficial conclusion and being fair in your negotiations. One person should never be making all the concessions.

You enjoy celebrating his/her wins

When your lover gets recognized for doing good, or achieves a significant goal, they are excited. You find yourself celebrating equally (or possibly even more) when they accomplish something that even you may not have been able to do so well. This is in contrast to when you see someone else honored or rewarded, which makes you feel competitive or question their worthiness. You have a sense of pride in their success and are proud of their wins, having the same feeling(s) that you might have for your own offspring. It’s as if both of you are sharing the same accolades together.

You share mutual respect

When you’re in love, you love and respect each other, which is definitely a higher calling than just enjoying someone’s company. You are outgrowing the friend zone and are interested in seeing how far this relationship can go. When you have high regard for who they are as a person, you really like them and they are clearly feeling the same way, then you know you’re falling in love.

You miss him/her when he/she is not around

If you are feeling a bit less independent, desiring to spend more time with your lover, missing them while they are away, without going off the deep-end, you might be developing a bond with this particular person. How much you long to be with someone when they are not around might be a way to measure your love for this person as you are developing a committed relationship.

You want your people to like him/her

You are concerned about how your family and friends feel about your lover. You want them to accept him/her because you want all your highly regarded important people in your life to be happy with this person, welcoming him/her to play a more integrative role in your social circle(s). If you find yourself presenting your partner in a good light to your peers and defending their integrity, you are climbing the scale of love and developing a healthy attachment that may stand the test of time.

You might feel the occasional twinge of jealousy

As your relationship with this person becomes more desirable, your particular sensitivities towards them and their continued safety and well-being will make you more inclined to entertain a bit of jealousy based on your interdependence and trust. You are not inclined to mistrust them or be suspicious of their covert activity, more so you have a concern for their well being in a world that is unpredictable because you would hate to see them suffer any inordinate challenges, or be involved in an accident. Unhealthy jealousy, based on low self esteem and insecurities marked with suspicious activities such as checking their cell phone or browser history is not considered as love so much as it is obsession. If its love, you will maintain a healthy concern based on your trust, mutual respect and love for him or her, not entertaining the green-eyed monster because they might be sneaking around or someone might steal them away.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Why Is Love So Hard?

You’ve been there. You’ve fallen in love with someone, given your heart, mind, body and soul to someone and expected the same in return. More often than not, loving someone and expecting them to love you in return invites a world of trouble and what appear to be insurmountable obstacles. It can leave you asking, “Why is love so hard?”

First of all, keep in mind that we’re talking about two different people. There are three different thoughts about how relationships are formed, based on

Opposites Attract
People are attracted to Carbon Copies
Attraction is Chaos

When opposites attract, of course, trying to work it all out will be problematic. In fact, this is the entire concept of attracting your Twin Flame. The idea of the twin flame insists your partner is the polar opposite of you, the other half of you, destined to create a higher version of yourself when the two of you are united if you can survive the hell and high water to achieve exponential personal growth.

When people are attracted to carbon copies, they are (often unconsciously) looking for someone who is familiar, either like someone who was a powerful influence (positive or negative) in their earlier life, or someone who is like themselves in compatibility (or “chemistry”).

Then there is the thought that attraction is chaos and random. In this scenario, there is a degree of animal magnetism, followed by the assumption that no one is every truly satisfied in romantic relationships. These relationships are destined for trouble but if the couple is willing to work hard at it, they can maintain a long term relationship.
Some of the things that can make trying to maintain a relationship so hard include

What Is Love?

In my work with couples, it is common for individuals in a relationship not to have the same definition of what love is. How can a couple be “in love” when they don’t share the same idea of love’s definition?

Our society has warped the sense of love’s definition by offering romantic ideals based on fairy tale knights in shining armor and Disney Cinderellas to films depicting love at first sight and other magic of falling in love concepts.

Of course, there are more substantial concepts of love which include love as being based on integrity and commitment which means you stay with your partner whether you like it or not because you made a promise or signed a contract. On the other end of the spectrum are people who approach the idea of love as being an opportunity for personal and/or spiritual growth.

Understanding each other’s definition of love, coming to a shared definition and understanding how each person feels as though they are being loved are two of the best tools to have an idea of early on in the relationship or when looking for ways to offer help in a troubled relationship.

You Are Afraid

Fear is the reason for failure not only in relationships, but other areas of life as well. Fear is the most destructive force in our world and it hides deep inside you, and it serves only two purposes: To Protect You from Pain or Death – or – To Destroy Any Hope of Having a Good Life. In relationships participants are afraid of committing to another person, afraid that if they leave themselves open they will experience pain and/or loss of self. There is the fear that your mate may not be “the one” (what if someone better comes along?). There is the fear that love will fade, the initial attraction dissolves or each of the partners fall into stereotypical roles in the relationship. What if your partner devolves into an abuser or suffers health challenges that would scare anyone who might be left the eternal caretaker?

Atop the heap of fear of the endless unknown or expected possible negative outcomes is the fear promoted by witnessing the failed relationships all around you. Trust is the hardest thing to establish in a world where you are surrounded by unrequited love, infidelity, dishonesty, lies, physical or mental abuse, secret-keeping, addictions, embezzlement, con games, and a degree of evil lurking in the shadows seeking to break or destroy you. You have seen many relationships fail as most of them do, or witnessed the sacrificial martyrdom of one of the participants in a relationship to “make it work” and you don’t want that to happen to you. It’s no wonder you’re frightened about falling in love.

There Is No Such Thing as Love

Then there is the idea that there is no such thing as love, where people believe that love is nothing more than an ideal, thought process of tool used to get what you want in life. Let’s face it; society has trained us to believe love is a superficial means to an end. In this materialistic scenario there is no real connection between two people, instead one or both parties are shallow participants only focused on what they can get out of the relationship. When they fail to get what they want, or feel like they see a better deal on the horizon, they’re gone.

Don’t Want to Deal With It

No one wants a great deal of drama in their life, and if you’re in a close relationship with someone else (even if it’s not a romantic relationship) it can become problematic.
For the people who will avoid conflict or confrontation at all costs, it’s easier just to bail out altogether. There is no sense of fighting for love, what is right or the greater good. Instead of thinking, “I’d rather fight than quit,” these folks are more likely to think it’s time to, “Cut my losses,” and walk away because it’s easier than dealing with the drama or facing their own inner issues (especially, if they think there is a potentially better relationship waiting in the wings).

The Broken Hearted

It is harder for one who has loved and lost due to having their heart severely broken or crushed than one who has not endured this type of pain. The broken hearted people have a great deal to work through before they can be truly ready to re-enter a love relationship, but they often seek to quickly replace the love that was lost by seeking out a new relationship, like a love band aid, to treat the wound, but this is only superficial treatment and will likely lead to the failure of the subsequent relationship. Others, out of fear, will avoid putting themselves at risk, ever again. So, the broken-hearted must heal their broken heart to have any hope of an effective love relationship.

The Uncompromising List

After a few go-rounds in the relationship department, you tend to accumulate a list of what you don’t want to see in future relationships based on your negative love observations and experiences. Unfortunately, if you focus on the negatives of past relationships, you are likely to attract more negatives in future relationships; it’s how the law of attraction works.

No matter how complete and comprehensive you list is, it can be difficult (if not impossible) to find anyone who can measure up to your standards.

Not that this is completely a bad idea. Instead of focusing on negatives, focus on the positives and make a list of only these qualities, like my soul mate list. You will be surprised at what may appear on love’s horizon.

Don’t See Eye to Eye

In this day and age, there is a preponderance of posturing for separation. Society promotes the polarization among people and also in relationships, which makes us all somewhat narcissistic as we care less and less about others and more and more about ourselves.

Even though you are separate people, you need to look for opportunities to find the common ground, which you can share together in the long run, while allowing each of you to maintain your independence, a sort of interdependence instead of codependency.

In a relationship between two people, there is so much to manage, prioritize and compromise to affect a successful and long lasting romantic relationship. It takes work, investment of resources (time, emotion and financial) and a commitment to work it out rather than bailing out.

Is Love Worth It?

This is a question you have to ask and answer for yourself.

I will always be ever the romantic, believing that love is the most powerful force in the universe and can conquer anything. Love is the highest and best vibration in the world.

Is love easy? No. Is life easy? No. If it was, where would be the excitement in that?

It’s better to work on your relationship in love, rather than not to have a love relationship to work on at all. It will take work, I believe it’s worth it.

If you believe, and are looking for a way to break through to the other side of your most amazing love adventure ever, call me.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Awakening to True Love Workshop

Who Should Attend?

Singles in search of true love and/or their soulmate
Individuals who want to increase the quality of all their relationships
Couples with the desire to invite true love into their relationship
Anyone who wants to set their relationship on fire

Rather than rekindle a disintegrating romance these tools, tips and techniques will totally dismantle all your previous misconceptions about love and empower you to embrace a whole new paradigm of true love, if you dare.

Meet Your Event Hosts

Sherry Lynn Marie

Author of Love Letters from the Lighthouse and Reiki Ranch alumni, Sherry Lynn Marie presents the keys to mastering authentic love in contrast to the love you’ve believed in, in the past in this groundbreaking Awakening to True Love Workshop based on ancient Toltec writings, February 11th in cooperation with the Leading Edge University, hosted at the Reiki Ranch school.

Click Here for Class Information & Tickets

Inspired by the life and works of Mother Teresa, this former Catholic school girl, relationship coach, domestic violence counselor, reiki master and empty nester, Sherry Lynn Marie raised 4 children. She was born at Kincheloe Air Force Base, Michigan, raised in California where she lived at the Point Cabrillo Lighthouse, now enjoys her residency in the pristine Pacific Northwest’s Willamette Valley, where she enjoys nature and expressing herself in song.

Learn to love, fulfill your life’s destiny, achieve your dreams and fulfillment. Anything is possible with the right tools and guidance.

 David M. Masters

Coach, consultant and author of Live a Better Life, Your Best Life, David M. Masters, presents the distinct contrast between the lackluster love we’ve been programmed by society to accept and the higher calling of unconditional love which can transform all your relationships including romantic and otherwise in the Awakening to True Love Workshop, Feb. 11th, in Chehalis, Washington.

Click Here for Class Information & Tickets

Former minister, educator, entrepreneur, public speaker, and business consultant, David M Masters has helped many people improve their lives financially, physically, personally, spiritually and professionally. Following the loss of a son in Afghanistan, and subsequently, his family, Masters took a sabbatical to reconnect with his Higher Source as he continues to live out his life’s purpose, sharing his message and helping others to achieve their highest and best and make the world a better place.

Masters’ Awakening to True Love Workshop will rock your romantic world and set all your relationships ablaze with new found freedom and authenticity.

The regular price for this 1 day seminar is $120 if held in metropolitan locations. Through a special arrangement with our friends at the Reiki Ranch we are able to offer this event at a special discounted price.

Can’t make it to the Awakening to the True Love Workshop on February 11th?

Or did you wait until all the seats were sold out?

Drop us an email to receive an advance notification for the next workshop at reikiranch@gmail.com.

Here’s more on the Awakening to True Love Workshop…

Ever wonder why your relationships just don’t work out right?

In the beginning, you feel as though you’ve met your one true love and it’s not long before this magnificent love dream come true devolves into your worst nightmare.

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

Desperate to save your precious dream, you explore all the challenges that caused your relationship to be compromised or fail. Therapeutic intervention dissects your relationship and all its flaws such as

  1. basic compatibility
  2. communication styles
  3. disinterest
  4. abuse
  5. lack of trust
  6. betrayal
  7. unmet expectations
  8. unfulfilled obligations
  9. money issues
  10. infidelity

These top 10 reasons that relationships fail are not why relationships fail, nor are any of the other so-called reasons; they are only treated as symptoms, while the underlying toxic disease continues to spread – not only in your relationship – but most relationships in the world.

The real reason why relationships fail is due to the spread of this dangerous disease which spreads like a viral wildfire. This toxin, left to itself will destroy and break down every love relationship we’re involved in, not just out romantic relationships. This viral disease leads to the failure and destruction of all kinds of relationships, including a significant other, family, mom, dad, brother, sister, children, coworkers, bosses and platonic friends.

All our relationships are at risk of being infected by this deadly disease, which is the real root cause of the death of any relationship.

The Truth: Why Relationships Fail

You might be surprised to discover there is only one reason that relationships fail. If you’re fervently seeking to find true love, you will never find it if you are infected with the toxic disease.

Wonder what the toxin is that will thwart any relationship you have and cause it to fall to pieces, no matter how you try to save it?

The name of the disease is

LOVE

Yes, “love;” the definition of it, the concept of it and everything you believe about it, love is the disease.

What if

Everything You Know About Love is Wrong?

You’ve been infected with the toxin which has spread more and more with every interaction you’ve had with other relationships as far back as you can remember (and before).

Your parents, society, the media and Disney have planted and spread the disease so pervasively that you couldn’t recognize true love if you saw it.

 

Join us for the

Awakening to True Love Workshop

Where in this all day event, you will learn what love really is, how to have it, get it and keep it without fear.

Awakening to True Love Workshop
Saturday, February 11
10:00 am -to- 6:00 pm
Reiki Ranch, Chehalis, Washington
$120.00

Drawing from ancient Toltec wisdom, don Miguel Ruiz’s work, The Mastery of Love, other texts and new thought, Leading Edge University’s David M. Masters and Sherry Lynn Marie, in cooperation with the Reiki Ranch are bringing this 1 day love, romance and relationship seminar which will change the way you love and look at all your relationships.

Following this event, you can choose whether to practice

TOXIC LOVE

OR

TRUE LOVE

Eliminate the poison that spreads the highly contagious disease of toxic love that promotes possessiveness, jealousy, envy, suspicion, bitterness, dishonesty, controlling, abuse, judging others and yourself.

Instead, you will learn to love unconditionally and have true love in your intimate relationships amidst a society dominated by the disease of love.

You will find the source of the power of true love emanates from within your heart and does not come from outside yourself. Thinking that love comes from anywhere else is the lie that germinates the disease of toxic love’s seeds.

In this 1 day event you will

  • Learn to forgive and love yourself as you learn about and eradicate the poisonous disease of toxic love.
  • Discover your inner strengths and realize the opinion of others, criticisms or expectations have no effect on or power over you.
  • Eliminate the risk of betrayal as true love’s trust cannot be broken.
  • Get to know you, who you are and who you were in your youth prior to the installation of this toxic, deceitful and manipulative viral software.
  • Get in touch with your inner beauty and purity as you share your true love for another with your newfound peace and serenity from within.

Your true love accepts others just the way they are; without criticism, opinions, or judgment.

Awakening to true love in self-awareness, self-love and self-forgiveness empower you to accept yourself, love your reflection in the mirror, loving in your relationships whether they be with your spouse, friends or relatives but most of all learning to love yourself regardless of what anybody else thinks or says.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

 

Learn how to love yourself and by extension everyone and everything else that is out there in our universe.

Awakening to True Love Workshop
Reiki Ranch, Chehalis, Washington

Call (360) 748-4426, or email reikiranch@gmail.com to reserve your spot today. Seating for this event is limited

 

* All ticket sales are final. No refunds or exchange.

Love Lies Why Lovers Lie

Why Do Lovers Lie?

When you enter into a committed relationship, an evolution takes place. As time goes on couples experience a metamorphosis as each of the participants grows and changes interdependently. Though they may be “one flesh” in the utmost romantic sense, they are still separate individuals both trying to do the best they can with what they have.

The only thing that truly bonds a couple together is the level of integrity and trust they have one for the other. If we can trust impeccably, be open and honest, we have the main ingredients of a highly successful and long lasting love life together. For if we do not have trust, what do we have?

As each lover evolves, there may be moments in time when they may be out of sync with their counterpart. What then?

Do you say, “This isn’t working for me; see ya,” as you depart with little concern for the former mate left behind?

Or do you lie and say, “I love you. Everything’s okay. You mean the world to me, nothing could come between us.”

Relationships are hard and no matter how we try to establish hard and fast rules for relationships, it is nearly impossible to have textbook answers for every conceivable scenario. We, as human beings, are far too complex for that.

While there are liars who selfishly lie to the extreme (we call them pathological liars) without regard to others (even if it appears to not be necessary to lie at all), alternatively we are talking about compassionate liars cohabitating in the space somewhere within the bounds of love.

While being totally open and honest are vastly important in relationships, being too open and honest can easily render a relationship null and void. Sometimes in a long term romance, the ability to lie is not only warranted, but may be a necessary component of romantic survivability.

Indeed, a long-term successful and loving relationship between two people consists or a delicate balance between truthfulness and deceit. Just ask any individual alone and off-camera who is part of a successful couple that has enjoyed a state of relationship bliss for many years what is the secret to their long-standing love affair? The answer (if conveyed honestly) will reference the delicate balance between truth and lies.

Why lie in a loving relationship?

For the sake of the big picture, in a selfless effort to preserve all that is sacred in a relationship, the occasion may (and often will) arise when the importance and reverence for the relationship exceeds the need to assert an opinion, fact or truth which might cause harm to the sacredness of the couple’s bond. Thereby justifying a bit of tale-telling to ease past what might have been a difficult situation that may have compromised the relationship or led to its dissolution altogether.

Let’s assume for a moment that the emotional spectrum of a relationship spans from love and acceptance on one end and anger and judgment on the other. Lovers often balance delicate of critical issues by where the consequence will end up on this spectrum. The unbridled truth may end up putting the relationship at risk by hurling it all the way into anger and judgment, while a love lie might not put the relationship at risk at all.

We learned this method of mitigating emotional-charged relationships in our youth. Where the truth may have sent our parents into a fury-filled emotional outburst with negative results, a little lie would sidestep the darkness and pain of disappointment and or impending punishment, and all was well.

I’m not saying it’s wrong or right. No two relationships can possibly be compared and everyone needs to find their own way. These types of “love lies” for the most part will go by completely unnoticed, except in the instances where the deception is interrupted by the otherwise naïve other lover. If we are honest, we would all admit that we do this to some degree without intent of malice.

In fact, we may tell a love lie because we love, honor and respect our mate so much, that we might do or say anything in support of the other and increase our love one for the other, even though our heart may not be totally vested at that particular moment in time. In most cases the love lie goes unnoticed and a greater love prevails.

When the one of the lovers discovers a love lie unawares, the couple needs to address the issue of the existence of this kind of deceit within the relationship. Each couple will have their own unique strategy for dealing with these types of inconsistencies.

The hardest road of all for a couple to attempt to maintain is that of complete and utter honesty regardless of the feelings of the other lover. In some cases this can work, but it takes a unique chemistry between two individuals who can manage such a relationship for long.

This is the emotional high road that if navigated correctly, with love and tolerance, without anger or judgment , we simply accept things as they are and allow each other to be without taking the unbridled truth personally or as an assault to be defended against.

For the rest of us, we try to set and manage boundaries for truth and honesty and believe that our love will survive the test of time, if we truly honor and value each other and the relationship as a whole.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.