If you’re like me, even though I was raised in a time and atmosphere which promoted love heavily, there was still the propulsion of hate; hating him or her, hating this or that, hating “the man,” the establishment or the government.
Can hate and love co-exist?
Well, I think it can, but is that really our highest and best? Love is one of the highest vibrations, hate, on the other hand, resides among the lower rungs of the emotional ladder.
Love embraces, as hate pushes away. Love creates an atmosphere of caring, sharing and community, while hate promotes dissension and isolation.
What causes us to go to the place where hate resides?
I think initially, we start with anger, as we are distraught about not being respected for who we are, what we think or believe. When we see or hear about someone doing something we don’t like. When we are disrespected, or our ideas, thoughts or beliefs are not honored and discarded, we are selfishly appalled and angry about either not being heard, or witnessing some perceived criminal act. The refusal of someone to try to see a thing from our point of view, or act in a way which we respectfully conduct ourselves takes us to that angry place.
When this is met with fear of asserting our beliefs or standing up for ourselves (fear from punishment, lack of reward, loss of income, liberty, wellness, or life) we are resentful and angry. Left to itself, unexpressed anger about an injustice or disrespect can fuel the fire and lead to hate.
If we are empowered to express our disapproval in a manner which is respected, then we are less likely to allow the discomfort of the emotion to turn into hate. Once the pressure is relieved and we feel as though we’ve been heard, the emotional pain dissipates.
When we are not heard or boldly disrespected, our base instincts take us over and ready for war, to fight the self righteous battle for our right to be heard. This battle starts in the mind and may find a way to be expressed in the real world and can lead to outward expressions of havoc, protest, damaging physical property, physical abuse or murder.
Then there are the “Goody-goodies” out there proclaiming that we should, “love your enemies,” which is a far cry from any intuitive reaction to the feelings you may be experiencing at the time.
But there is a way to trade your hate for love, if you’re willing to look at things from a different perspective.
For instance, I can’t speak for you, but in my life, I have experienced a number of disappointments and oppression. I’ve been greatly disrespected, a victim of crimes, and been disrespected by people in authority, which had left me angry and face-to-face with hate in my heart. On the one hand, I have been there.
On the other hand, when I look back at all the injustices that justified the anger and hate that I endured in those most desperate of times, life had something far greater in store for me. I found that as I dealt with the pain of rejection, the anger and subsequent hate, and found ways to come to personal resolution, there was something so much better waiting for me on the other side of the pain, but I couldn’t see it. I was blinded by the pain.
From my current perspective, I can see that all those things that stressed me out so much, and caused me to lose myself and all my senses, were actually keys that unlocked doors leading to something so much better. I can see, now, that had I not gone through the pain of separation or humiliation, I would have never been at the right place in the right time to experience what life had in store for me.
If you can wrap your head around that idea, like I did, you can start to imagine that people or circumstances that you fight against, the things that make you angry and want to fight, may just be life trying to point you in another direction.
So, when the hair starts to stand up on the back of my neck, and I start to feel disrespected (even though I may be overcome by emotion or lose myself in the moment), I start to look around as soon as I am able to gain enough composure.
From this perspective you can begin to understand that this is not my enemy at all, while the intention of the adversary may actually be to do me harm, life has something far greater waiting in the wings.
And you can get to what is good, beautiful, loving and amazing in less time by not fighting the battle, which is only necessary in your own ignorance. Now, I am less apt to engage in the battle, and more apt to start looking for what life has in store for me, at the get-go.
So, you can love your enemy, because he/she or the circumstance is not an evil injustice, but life (or what I refer to as God) doing whatever it takes to get you back on the track to your highest and best. The painful experience of anger, hate and the ensuing battle, is only necessary, if you’re refusing to listen.
Instead or reaching for your weapons, think about listening to that still small voice, and look around…
Something so much better is waiting for you.
You are love’s alchemist. You can turn hate into love, if you choose to do so.
So bless your adversary, be thankful and express your gratitude and love for getting your attention, and blessing you with a better way, leading to greater support, love and charity.
There is a great love growing in you, and you will be given opportunities to express it, and you will.