Ready to Move on In Love?

How Do You Know If You’re Ready to Move on in Love?

When you activate a shared love with another person you create an emotional connection with that person which remains long after that lover has been separated from your active life. How do you know if you’re ready to move on in love?

You might be seeking for the answer to how do you know if you’re ready to move on in love because you know you’re going to be ever-connected to your former lover, and the connection is even more severe if you shared an intimate physical relationship.

Sex complicates the moving on of it all because as you are contemplating entertaining another lover, the lingering connection to your former lover(s) is at the very least awkward and confusing.

In a perfect world, the first time you fall in love, you would meet your one true love and live out your lives together, hand-in-hand, for the rest of your life happily ever after.

Also, in a perfect world, you would experience a long succession of tragic love interests which break your heart and allow you to experience how interacting with another person on a deep level could be enjoyable and one of the most catastrophic, painful chapters of your life.

Love is love, and there is really no wrong way to do it. Your love journey will be different than any other person. No two love journeys are alike, though they may share some similarities. So, any attempt to give anyone advice is fruitless.

I can make suggestions, and you must decide for yourself what is good for you to consider and what is not. In fact, that is all coaching is; reviewing a variety of options with you, letting you decide which options and actions are best for you, and supporting you in the creative process.

That said, these seem to be the best ideas to consider prior to moving on to another relationship in the best way.

It’s Over

Relationships are tricky business, and those lingering connections can confuse any attempt to connect with another person, so cutting the ties to your greatest ability will go a long way in leaving your heart open enough to embrace a new love.

Let your feelings be your guide about the healthiness of creating space by setting boundaries which protect your heart from either hurting or re-engaging the love trance all over again.

Being in the throes of love creates energetic, physiological, electromagnetic, and a barrage of chemical reactions in the brain and throughout your body, which cause you to fall in love all over again, if you are exposed to a former lover if you experience him or her with any of your five senses.

At least for a while (probably 90 days) do not allow yourself to be exposed to your ex- if possible because you need this time and space to heal, so you can be ready to move on in love.

Nostalgic Emotional Ties

If you want to be ready to move on in love, you have to let go of your former expectations, the hopes, and dreams you held deep within your heart about your former lover.

Ruminating about what could have been will only cause you emotional pain throughout the separation and have you longing for vying for another chance to right wrongs. You cannot change the past or make things right. What is done is done and so is this relationship.

There’s no need to focus your attention on all the things that went wrong or all the good times which were so enjoyable. These nostalgic efforts need to be avoided, at least for the 90-day period (or however long you need) for healing yourself.

You need to find ways to think or talk about your life with your ex- without significant emotional impact, positive or negative.

You know you are closing in on healthfully being ready to move on in love when you can think back on your love experience without passionate fantasizing or heavy emotional pain.

Residual Love

Understand that maintaining a residual love for your ex- is totally acceptable and healthy unless your relationship, even if you were with a toxic or abusive lover.

Residual love must be respectful of your protection if your self and your heart, as well as the memory of your former lover, without feeling emotional pain or resentment.

Let this residual love be tempered by realizing that things just are as they are, and the past is the past. You and your lover shared these moments, but the time has come for both of you to move on in love, going your separate ways.

You love and look after yourself, love your ex- and hope the best for him or her.

There is no blame, or judgment because we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

Loving You

7 Phases of Love

The best thing you can do is to love yourself to the best of your ability.

Many have heard some variation of the question, “How can you love somebody else if you don’t love yourself, first?” We all know this, but most of us do not understand what it means to love one’s self.

When you love yourself, you treat yourself with all the love, respect, and acceptance that you would ever desire to receive from a lover.

This can be difficult as you’re getting ready to move on in love, and you might be a million miles away from having this kind of love for yourself at this time and space. Just do the best you can to love yourself more.

When you consider finding all the love you could ever desire from within, you don’t need someone else to make you feel loved.

Ready to Move on in Love

If you are at peace with the idea that it’s over and find the nostalgic emotional ties honorable and manageable, can maintain a healthy residual love and love yourself more than you did before, you are ready to move on in love.

Disingenuous Lovers

Disingenuous lovers include those who are insensitive, having little ability to possess or share the heartfelt love that you might have, and will also include partners who approach love from completely different perspectives, these are the survivors, manipulators, and predators, among others.

With all the attempts to try to find a suitable partner who can love you in the very same way that you can love him or her, still there can exist an incompatibility in the type and style of love and loving which you share. Sometimes you discover yourself unequally yoked with a disingenuous or fake love.

Probably the most difficult part of finding a vibrationally matched lover, one that approaches the idea of love in a way that is harmonious with you, is so elusive, sometimes we just give-in, compromise, and accept what is more attainable, then work out the details later in the relationship.

The earlier in your relationship that you are able to identify the energetic love vibration which is incompatible with you, the better. Regardless of when the identification becomes aware to you, and you or your partner take the action(s) necessary to lead to the relationship’s cessation, the process of disengagement and disconnection can be quite painful for either or both parties in the relationship which has become unmanageable.

Insensitive People

Those people who are less sensitive than the rest of us, may have limited capacity for love and the feelings which are associated with love and romantic relationships. While they are able to connect to another person, their ability to connect is somewhat limited, therefore they are not easily hurt when the relationship begins to uncouple or fall apart.

Insensitive people are not bad people, even though they can easily be demonized when the relationship begins to deteriorate, and they are not as moved emotionally as the other partner might be. It’s easy to assume they don’t care, are mean, or evil, even though their motives may be absent of malice. Lacking in capacity does not make them bad people, it’s just the way they are.

This type of coupling, the sensitive with the insensitive, is not uncommon as in the courting process, these opposites are generally attracted to each other. Insensitive people can change and become more sensitive over time, but the sensitive partner cannot change them (so give up on any expectation that you might be able make him or her more sensitive, this is a solo part of the journey for the insensitive).

Survivors

Survivors are those who will do or say anything in order to survive. This was a far more popular motivator in the acquisition of love and finding a suitable mate in our not too distant past. In a time when it was difficult for a single person of low or normal means there existed a great deal of importance focused on finding someone to cohabitate with or marry to prevent homelessness or being shunned by society.

Even though in modern times we embrace the idea of being able to survive (and sometimes thrive) as adult singles, there are still those who seek out a mate to enhance their ability to enjoy the basic necessities of life.

Manipulators

Manipulators take the idea of surviving to the next level. They desire not only to survive but to benefit greatly from their matchmaking efforts. They find suitable mates based on what they can bring to the relationship which is highly sought after by the manipulative love-seeker, who may also lean toward narcissism.

They have an uncanny ability to pour on the charm to persuade the object of their affection that he or she is indeed, “the one.” The answer to all your hopes and dreams in terms of love, and we all, regardless of our station in life, desire and long to be loved, therefore may fall victim to this type of manipulation in the courting process.

Predators

Predators are those who maliciously exploit the unsuspecting tender hearts to their benefit, using romance and the promise of love to defraud or abuse their love-prey for their own satisfaction. These are most likely the predatory sociopaths and psychopaths who are just out to exploit love-seekers for whatever they can get.

With the least ability to have compassion or feelings, they are especially gifted in their skills as users and abusers. They will only leave when your supply has been exhausted and you are no further use for them, or you have identified them, insulated and separated yourself from them.

Let ’em Go

Even though it can be painful and difficult to let the disingenuous lover go, let him or her go.

If your love is not recipricated and/or not a match for you, let him go. You are not obligated to stay in a relationship without love. Set yourself free and open for love.

Not to do so, is self-abuse and you have no one to blame but yourself.

Stay Open

Not to cast a dark could on your love seeking, because there are authentic genuine lovers who are perusing the landscape of people in search of you and your unique ability to love and be loved.

Stay open and aware that there are more people whom you are incompatible with than those with whom you are compatible with to varying degree in terms of your unique love vibration.

Don’t be in a hurry or try to rush things, as he or she may not be perfectly aligned with you at the moment. Your soul mate may be looking for you while in the process of working on his or her alignment, just as you are, in this moment.

When you are both a vibrational match, you will find yourselves looking into each other’s eyes.