What if my partner doesn’t support my mission?
What if you and your spouse, mate, or partner are not on the same page?
You’re going on about your business, kicking ass, taking names, fulfilling your life’s purpose, pursuing your ministry, and making the world a better place… but your partner couldn’t be less enthused. He or she may come along reluctantly, but it’s just not as satisfying as your fantasy or vision of going forward with power hand in hand with your partner by your side.
As romantic as it might be, and as hard as you might pray for this kind of oneness and support, it’s just not going to happen, and it’s not up to you to try to make this dream come true. You have to accept and love your partner just as he or she is.
If there’s anything that I’ve learned over the course of my life, it’s that you can’t change someone. If you are able to “make a deal” with your partner, and they comply by “acting” or playing along with your expectations, unfortunately, every time they compromise on your behalf, they rack up huge reserves of hidden resentment. When the resentment builds and reaches critical mass, beware; the effects will be horrendous. So, don’t entertain the idea that your partner will change for you. Just let go of that false expectation.
You may be tempted to, and many potential world-changers do, let go of the dream of living a better life, your best life and making the world a better place, simply because you love your partner and can’t possibly think of pursuing such a grand commission without him or her.
This situation is quite basic to deal with from a religious perspective because no matter what stands between you and your highest and best work is simply identified as the devil seeking to thwart your potential to perform great works, have an impact, or make a huge difference in the world for good.
If you lack the religious programming to wrap your head around the devil always trying to preempt and derail your potential progress, then you have to find some other way to not let your partner dissuade your attention to serving the greater good.
Another temptation might be to bail on your partner and holding on to the false expectation of there being greener grass on the other side of the fence.
I can tell you, after years of relationship coaching hundreds of people, the grass is greener approach rarely if ever, works. Why? Because two people will always different, and while these differences may not be apparent at the outset, once the new relationship is in full swing, the differences become more crystal clear; then what?
While all this relationship conflict is the sustaining drama leading to nearly unlimited financial support of all couple’s counselors, spiritual advisers, and coaches, there is a better way.
Taking the high road in the scenario where your partner is not fully on board or embracing your answering your call to fulfill your life’s mission is to go forward in faith and enthusiasm, believing that all things will work out for the best.
While people do change, and I have seen the potential world-changer go forward in an enormously passionate manner, and at some point, the partner’s inner flame is ignited and they join together in a brilliant blaze of glory in a synergistic harmonious display of their like-minded power, achieving their highest and best, with more impact than either of them would have ever had going it alone. But, this is extremely rare.
The more practical approach is to simply keep making daily progress in making the changes necessary and taking the appropriate steps and actions to accomplish your mission, living a better life, your best life, and making the world a better place.
There is no need to compromise or risk the sacredness of your relationship. Often when people are together in a romantic relationship, they do have different vocations, ideals, perspective, affiliations, and personal pursuits; and they find effective ways to accommodate and support their separate endeavors. Realistically, this is the best you can hope for.
Going forward and pursuing your dream may be enough to spark the flame within your mate to do the same, but know, if this happens, your partner’s purpose, message, passion, and mission, may be completely different than yours, which pretty much leaves you with the same situation than igniting your partner’s inner flame.
The most important thing?
Stay true to your calling, and do the things that get you closer to where you want to be, love your partner and do not be disappointed if he or she is not on board, or you’re not finding yourself on the same page.
Celebrate your differences, and don’t expect him or her to change.
Retain the love; encourage your partner to find his or her way, support him of her in everything he/she does, and you will find yourself the recipient of their support of your efforts and endeavors.