perception is reality | David M Masters

Let’s say for a moment (I’m not expecting you to fully embrace this concept at the outset, only proposing that you follow along and consider the point of view momentarily, to think about it) that you have 100 percent control of your life. I’d expect you to immediately respond with a Scroogesque, “Bah! Humbug.”

What if you create your world... every detail of it? — What if you create your world… every detail of it?

But just for fun, let’s say there is a person in a massive control room who can orchestrate and influence every detail of your life, not unlike The Truman Show.

If you’ve seen the film, it’s not too much of a stretch of the imagination to consider the possibility that in some ways – in this life – that you are playing the part of Jim Carrey unaware that you are participating in a sophisticated, “reality show.”

Only, it’s not quite as simplistic as all that. This is merely an introduction. What if we kicked it up a notch and made it much more sophisticated, along the lines of The Matrix.

THE MATRIX, Carrie-Anne Moss, Keanu Reeves, 1999. (c) Warner Bros./ Courtesy: Everett Collection.

Ugh, “thanks a lot,” you think, but the main component in this scenario is to consider that you could be in two places at once. There could be two parts of your self running concurrently, one on-camera and one off-camera so to speak.

Either way, you are living out a dramatic life somewhat scripted (if not completely scripted) by a director who is manipulating all of the players and scenarios with whom you interact. All the people, nature, coincidences, personal achievements, surprises, pain, suffering, accidents, random events, natural disasters, all carefully played out before you for someone’s viewing pleasure.

Now (just for fun, keep playing along), let’s say it occurs to you that this might be true, you, like Keanu Reeves’ Neo, are becoming more aware. So much so, that you start challenging the capabilities of the sets, equipment and energies that create the construct of the world that you’ve come to believe is “real.”

What if there was a way to breakthrough to the other side to see who is running the show behind the curtain.

Via some magical adventure, you find a way to approach the control room, like Judy Garland’s Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz; only in this pivotal moment you discover it is not Frank Morgan behind the curtain at all.

Oh, you might have expected some gray-haired deity pulling the strings, manning the levers and programming the computers, though there is something oddly familiar about the person who instructs you to, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”

It is not a cast member from your set, back home… No, it is you.

From this perspective, it is you orchestrating every minute detail of your life, the way it plays out and how you integrate with others as you travel along your life’s journey. All in an effort to fully experience everything this life has to offer.

Not for a viewing audience, exposed to advertising and commercial interruptions, but for you. For without you, there would be nothing. None of this would exist.

Yes, you are surrounded by the largest cast ever. Some are extras, but most are individuals, just like you, living out their own “reality.”

This is the scenario I play out whenever I am overwhelmed or unable to make sense out of events playing out in my life. You might even catch me breaking character, looking into an unseen camera off-screen and ask, “Who writes this stuff?”

Sometimes, I fall to my knees, look up at the sky and dramatically query, “Another plot twist?”

Other times, full of gratitude, “Oh, thank you. That was a good one.”

Most of the time, I am thoroughly enjoying every experience I can think of to throw at myself.

My hope for you is that you find a way to enjoy the journey as much as I do.

Have a nice day

How many times have you found yourself offended by the words and deeds of another person that may have been unwarranted? Even if you knew your feelings were likely unjust, still you found yourself filled with angst and fury and lashed out or made a rash decision based on the emotional whirlpool pulling you down to your lowest desperate state.

So you strike out, do or say something in your defense because in this emotional chaos, you can think of nothing more than self preservation at all costs.

You rationalize your thoughts and actions based on the truth you are able to extract from the all the data that you have access to. Using your perception you convert the results of your research and statistics to come to a cognitive conclusion justifying the torrential chaos you felt in that moment based on your interpretation.

This happens every day, and how can you blame anyone for perceiving everyday occurrences via their individual perception? You can’t. Why? Because we can only determine that is really truth from within. Only we know what is true for us based on our own interpretation of the information available to us at the time.

In example, take a look at Jasmine and Darnell. They are in their early thirties, recently involved in a romantic courtship and things are going so very well. They are professing their love for each other and even talking about spending the rest of their lives together.

On their six month anniversary, Darnell makes reservations for a quaint bistro, picks up a card and a teddy bear with a heart on its tummy and presents them to Jasmine when he comes calling to pick her up for their scheduled date.

Jasmine greets him at the door enthusiastically. Darnell holds out the bear and card to Jasmine, as her countenance immediately shifts to contempt and anger. She throws the bear into the street, rips the card into pieces and throws the pieces at Darnell’s face and kicks him off the porch while shouting disrespectful obscenities and slams the door as Darnell falls to the ground.

After driving away and pulling over to the side of the road, Darnell texts Jasmine, which does not go through, then tries to call to discover his number’s already been blocked.

Looking for emotional support, the couple reaches out to their friends in an effort to cope with the ensuing chaos. Jasmine tells her friends that Darnell is a manipulative predator, nothing short of a rapist, while Darnell spins tales of Jasmine’s severe mental disorders. Friends rally around the couple. Damages follow, some that are irreparable.

Knowing the details of Jasmine’s struggle with her past doesn’t justify her outburst and reaction to the otherwise innocuous display of affection. Issues she’s been battling within since childhood predicted her response with high-precision accuracy. Likewise, Darnell’s accusations of Jasmine’s mental instability were based on triggers from his past.

From their perspective they are both telling stories based on the truth they believe, as real to them as gravity, yet things aren’t always what they seem and neither of them have as much information as I have (purposely filtered) additionally I am certain there is much more information yet to be uncovered.

Jasmine would fare much better in the same circumstance today, because she has worked though many of the unresolved issues of her past and while she still tends to be quite impulsive, is training herself to pause (and count to three to herself) before responding, reacting or pressing “send” when she is feeling overwhelmed. This brief hesitation gives her just enough space to consider possibilities, and ramifications and helps her to manage her truth and consequences.

Don’t judge someone based on surface information because you may have no idea what lies beneath the surface. We all have lives consisting of a plethora of past experiences, beliefs, and misinterpretations the sum of which has gotten us this far. After all, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. This is why we are cautioned to never judge a book by its cover.

If we are to have any faith in our ability to successfully share this planet with other inhabitants, we must find ways to stop dividing us one against the other, discover how to get along with each other and accept that we are all parts of the same soup, even though we all are so very different.

No one is blaming you or me for our perception or interpretation, because in heat of the moment it’s all we have to determine what is truth as it influences how i feel about you, how you feel about me and how we feel about ourselves.

In fact in all things perception is reality and subject to change pending accumulation of additional data.

Pausing in an effort to avoid making a rash decision or burning a bridge beyond repair like Jasmine does now, might be sound advice for all of us.

All you can do is to try not to judge or react too promptly, accept others for who they are and where they are at in their life’s journey and discover how to make yourself happy as you live a better life. A little tolerance goes a long way.

For me, I try to imagine what it must be like to the person who is reacting, put myself in their shoes and look for the love. While I haven’t perfected this method because I too, can react in self defense in the heat of the moment… but as immediately as possible look with empathy for love in the wings.

We’re all in process, for if we weren’t, we would not be. Let’s make the best of it.