How to be an Alpha Male

The corporate workplace can be a competitive dog-eat-dog business, and in this aggressive environment, if the culture is not progressive, will still be following an archaic business model which is more akin to the animal kingdom’s struggle for survival.

In these instances, the individuals who are most successful, quickly rise up the corporate ladder, and appear to live the best lives, are those who dominate and lay to waste the competition. We refer to them (and they refer to themselves) as alpha males.

If you’re stuck in this type of corporate culture, it can leave you wondering,

How to be an alpha male

The alpha male is the man in the business environment who exudes self-confidence, wielding personal power like a sword of righteousness, commands the attention and respect of others in the organization. He is a man’s man, so to speak, people admire his ruthless ability to make decisions, take action, puts forth (and almost excessive) effort and expects the support of the rest of the team; and he usually gets it, out of respect for his relentless ambition and enthusiasm.

Alpha males didn’t just appear in the workplace, their characteristics can be traced back to early man, when it was us against the elements, and the animal kingdom, in the struggle for survival. The alpha males were the individuals who fought their way to the top of the food chain and the social ladder of the group by taking charge, and exerting domination over the group.

In some ways our current stage of evolution still harkens back to these alpha male archetypes. Through the process of natural selection, men bubble to the top that possess the traits of the alpha male. In the same way that our ancestors depended on these traits for survival, the corporate world is attracted to these A-type personalities for the benefits enjoyed by their shareholders.

The success of the alpha male is not simply restricted to the business environment, as socially, in many ways, we haven’t evolved very far and this is never more apparent than in our courting rituals. Even in this modern day and age, women are still attracted to the type of man who will protect her and provide an excellent source of genetic material on which to base her future generations.

Back in the day, wherever the alpha male was, you would find the best shelter, food and women, so the other men would want to befriend them and support them in order to enjoy the leftovers, and you can still see the remnants of this in our society today.

Taking on the appearance of the alpha male or emulating their attributes can be an effective way to gain ground in both corporate and social arenas, and you might be surprised to find that the best way to appear to be alpha is to

Care less about what others think about you

If you’re not an alpha male, you’re constantly vying for attention, and trying to impress others in an attempt to prove your worthiness of garnering attention or approval of others. Instead of accomplishing your hopes of gaining admiration, what you actually end up with is others thinking you are deprived, lack confidence and competence, are needy and clingy; not exactly what you had hoped for.

If your are having to constantly explain to others, or tell your own stories in an effort to show examples of your worthiness or greatness, your words are often in vain because people are not going to fall for your self-promoting tale-telling. They’re more likely to look at this as a desperate ploy to get people to like you, in an ill-fated attempt to present yourself as more appealing.

Complimenting people, especially flattery in an attempt to flirt or attract a potential mate, also not only makes you look desperate, but it clearly communicates to the object of your attention that you see them as more valuable than yourself (which doesn’t make you look any more attractive to them).

So, stop the ploys to gain the approval of others. Instead try to find ways to think of yourself more like an alpha. An alpha male could care less what anyone thinks of him, he finds his own worthiness within himself. His self confidence is high enough; he doesn’t need the approval of anyone else to make him feel any better.

When you are able to find your sense of worth from within, accepting yourself for all that you are, empowering and engaging all your special gifts and abilities without a thought of what others think, now you are becoming the powerful leader forging on with a sense of meaning and purpose.

When you are approaching life in this way, you are no longer a following. You are marching to your own beat, and others take notice. You are becoming more alpha.

This new alpha-approach to life will permeate your integration with life all around you, affecting both your social and professional circles of influence.

Stop and Smell the Roses

When we’re conducting the business of just getting along in life, it’s easy to take the time to stop and smell the roses. Of course, it’s not just the roses, it’s all the things in life we take for granted. If you want to maximize the life you’re living, you can achieve so much more joy and satisfaction by savoring all the nuances that add the flavor to each day well lived.

Everyone has the same 86,400 seconds each day, how are you going to use yours. By paying attention to those subtle details, you can get so much more out of each minute of every day.

Technology has presented us with ample distraction as an effective way to keep our attention engaged, which keeps you from getting bored, but potentially at the expense of loss of quality of life, at least in the romantic sense of it.

Tablets, iPods, cell phones, television, streaming media, radio, iTunes, NetFlix, YouTube, computers, video games, signage, all clamoring for your attention, it’s nearly impossible to have a spare moment, when something is not trying to grasp your attention.

You’re lucky if you have the ability to unplug, sit down to enjoy a family meal without television, phones or other devices, or any of the other simple pleasures in life, such as taking a walk, or just sitting and enjoying a face-to-face talk, without the presence of devices.

Not to sound paranoid, but recently, I was having a face-to-face discussion with someone who mentioned a restaurant I’d never heard of. Later, when I picked up my phone, a pop-up ad for that restaurant showed up. Coincidence? I don’t know, just saying… ‘ere, I digress.

If you really want to get all that you can out of this life, you need to make room in your life, in your day, in the precious moments of this life, to allow life to emerge before you. Make or find moments where you can sit in silent repose, to reflect about yourself, what you want out of life. Think about the things that make you happy and the activities which bring you joy.

Maybe it’s time to put yourself back in the drivers’ seat of your life, and not let media, commercialism, or the powers-that-be control you and your thoughts. Is it time to pay attention to you, your self, your body, your life?

If it is, then start making time for looking after you. Make time to engage in the activities that make you feel good. Schedule your “me time” to do whatever it is that makes you happy. It could be as simple as taking a walk in the park, feeding the ducks, sitting on a park bench, listening to your favorite music, taking a nice soak in the bathtub, or engaging in a particular hobby. Whatever it is that brings you joy, make time for that.

And when your day has come to an end, and slumber is just around the corner, take time to review your day. What did it look like? Did you take out a little time for yourself? Did you get all the things done that you set out to do? Regardless of the answers, love and forgive yourself. It’s a crazy world out there, and we’re all only doing the best we can with what we have. That means, you, too. So lighten up and give yourself a break. Cut yourself some slack and remember that tomorrow is a fresh, new day.

If you’re like the rest of us, you’re juggling a world of potential activities and obligations. You can reduce some of the overwhelm and panic by making a list (which you can use old-school technology, such as paper and a writing instrument, or use your phone or other device that might be handy), and check off things as you do them. Don’t delete them, because there is satisfaction in the doing of it, so mark it as done. And if you don’t get a majority (or any) of the things done, “Oh well,” you did the best you could.

And if there’s something on your list of things to do, that you’d rather not do, then try to create an atmosphere that is fun or at least pleasant, so that you are making the best of it. This can make it appear to be less monotonous, if you can find a way to make it more entertaining, or to inject some joy in the atmosphere around the particular task.

For those who are maintaining a frantically paced workload, or prolonged period of focused attention on a particular task, learn to stop (stop) and take a break periodically. Get up and go to the bathroom, or stroll to the lunchroom, check out the parking lot, walk up and down a flight of stairs. Whatever you’re doing that is demanding your attention, make time for you, even if it’s only for a few (as few as two) minutes.

Commuters who spend a portion of their day in travel to and from work, or a job site, etc., find a way to break up the commute. Commute time is a great way to study and expand your mind by reading or listening (listening, if you’re driving) to positive information, but also think about breaking up the commute by pulling over, or stopping midway, to get out and stretch, and take the opportunity to allow your mind the opportunity to see or imagine something you might have overlooked amidst the hustle and bustle.

Think on those things that are good. Whenever you have the opportunity to think for yourself, make opportunities to reflect on all the good things this life has to offer. Think about how you might be able to make a contribution to your family or community that will have meaningful impact. Think about avoiding negative news, remain positive, and fill your thoughts with positive, enlightening ideals, while taking time to smell the roses every once and a while.

What Are You Attracting?

Ever wonder why things are the way they are in your life?

The people, peculiarities, situations and circumstances that appear in your life do so according to your beckoning. You called all these things into being by the power of your thoughts, or even more powerful: your spoken words.

what-are-you-attracting-vibration-frequency-law-of-attraction

According to the Law of Attraction, what you think or speak about is what you are attracting to you, even if it your thoughts are in the negative form. For instance, if you were to think, “I want to see a black cat,” or alternatively, “I don’t want to see a black cat,” the universe responds by providing you the opportunity to see a black cat.

If you add an enormous amount of energy to what you don’t want, like emphatically telling all your friends that you don’t want to see a black cat as long as you live, possibly scream it at the sky or pray fervently about how much you never want to see a black cat again, guess what?

You got it: A big black cat… maybe even a barrage of many black cats.

If this is true, then everything in life that surrounds you is a product of your thoughts or the words that escape your lips. And it is likely, the more things you don’t want (especially if you’re enthusiastic about not wanting it and/or clearly express your not wanting it) the more opportunities you have to interact with what you do not want.

What do you want?

The answer is easy: Start thinking about and professing what you do want.

Even religious texts urge us to think about good things, so this is nothing new. For if we focus on the negative, this is what we get, on the other hand if we think only about those things that are good and lovely, beautiful, honorable and bring us joy, then more of these things are added to our life.

Stop thinking, speaking (or even worse: obsessing) about what you don’t want and start focusing intently and enthusiastically about what you do want.

The people who seem to have the best lives, the best luck and attract the best opportunities and circumstances think and speak positively about their expectations and (here’s the next piece) believe these things will come to pass.

You are energy

As much as we’d like to believe that we are flesh and bone, there is a much greater more powerful version of ourselves accompanying us on our journey on this planet. We are actually more energy than we are matter. Our energy emits a certain frequency and everything that exists around us is a perfect match to the energetic frequency we send out.

When you have a powerful, energetic thought which is contrary to your normal frequency or vibration, a powerful burst of energy explodes disrupting the vibration to which you have been so accustom.

While this creates a weak spot in your normal vibrational frequency, it is not enough to permeate your field of vibration for longstanding change.

Sustain

That is where belief comes in. Thinking and/or speaking disrupts your current vibration and belief sustains the new frequency. In this way, the more you focus on the new thought pattern and the longer you trust or have faith that it will come to pass, the more certain your positive results.

What if I doubt?

Doubt is an explosive energetic demand that the universe return you to your previous vibration or state of affairs. You can correct for this by immediately initiating an emphatic positive affirmation, in essence, changing the channel back to your higher frequency or vibration. Continued doubt, will result in sustaining the old vibration and returning you to that which you’re more used to.

What about the how?

We can get distracted by trying to figure out the how. This is where logic gets in the way of the power of the universe. If we can stay focused on only the end result as non-specifically as possible, this allows the universe to fully engage bringing to us on that which is our highest and best, in ways we may not have been able to imagine, with a far greater end result.

To change your life all you need to do is to change your thoughts/words (the more enthusiastically the better), continue to believe the new results will appear, to be open and allow the details to be delivered in the best way possible, and you will find yourself enjoying having the things you want in your life, the way you want them, or even more.

What Do You Think?

What you think, say and believe about yourself defines who you are. Thoughts and words are so very powerful, that if you could truly grasp the power they wield, you would not use them so haphazardly. Certainly they can be powerful weapons when discharged against others, more powerful than a loaded gun, but what about when you turn those loaded weapons and aim them at yourself?

what do you think positive thinking negative thoughts

Think about these powerful weapons rolling around in your head; what do you allow to occupy this sacred space. There is no more private or intimate space besides your mind – which, by the way, is hardwired to your heart – where your deepest thoughts, dreams, desires, fears and joy resides. You, yes you, have control over what proliferates the confines of your mind and heart. You.

You cannot blame life, life circumstance, any belief system, person, place, parent or thing for what thoughts you allow to persist in your thoughts.

Why must you take control of your thoughts? Because they are so powerful, they manifest in you and attract more of what you think about, causing a great tidal wave of whatever it is you’re thinking about to head your way.

What you’re thinking about yourself is who you become

If you have self image thoughts or self-talk that may not be in your best interest, such as being disappointed in yourself in some way, then you are certainly destined to become the very thoughts that haunt you. Alternatively, the more positive thoughts you engage in about yourself, the more positive the person you are. It’s really that simple.

If you think, “I’m not good enough,” then you are not (or you might be good enough at first blush, but if you continue to entertain the thought that you are not good enough, then it will not be long before you are unworthy of much at all).

Your other negative thoughts about yourself follow suit:

I can’t do it
I have the worst luck
I’m such a loser
I’m not worthy
No one loves me, or alternatively, nobody cares
I hate “my” (or “it, when I”) _______ (fill in the blank)

It is in your best interest to me mindful of how and what you think about because those negative thoughts will steal any hope of having good thoughts, especially about yourself.

If a negative thought is a weapon that steals, then a positive thought is the cure that heals.

Trade Negative for Positive

If you’re having negative thoughts about yourself, all you have to do is to catch yourself thinking the thought – stop – and rephrase the thought as positive self-talk in its opposite. So, I can’t do it becomes, I can do it. I have the worst luck becomes, I have the best luck, etc…

Want to supercharge your transformation, just ramp it up with an immensely positive reframe, like, “I can do it amazingly, better than most people!” Or, “I have the most amazing luck, I always win!”

Why? Because what you think comes to pass. Use these powerful tools not to tear yourself down but to build yourself up, because you are so amazing!

What you’re thinking about everything else grows and becomes more powerful

Here are those powerful thoughts at work again, this time affecting the world around you. If you’re thinking about tortured souls, people, animals you not only attract more of these things to your awareness, but your thoughts create more of it in the world.

Yes, by focusing on the injustices, crimes, disasters and lack (of anything) you actually help to create more of it.

Please, try to stop thinking about bad things, because it only creates more bad things.

What can you do?

Think about the opposite good things, the solutions… and if you’re as amazing as I think you are, start not only thinking but talking to others about the amazing answers that are unfolding, maybe take action. Write a letter to the editor, make a blog post, support or start a movement for good.

By taking a positive approach – and focusing on positive solutions – you become a powerful healing force, creating and making the world a better place.

Think and be what you want to see

And it is so

Law of Attraction Positive Psychology

In my work with clients changing their lives for the better and helping them achieve their highest and best (and even more)… it is not uncommon to cross paths with the Law of Attraction (or LOA). From an early age (and long before The Secret was released) I was intrigued by what has become known as the Law of Attraction when I first discovered the principles in the Bible during my ministerial studies as I was simultaneously processing the positive psychology works of Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. Since then, I discovered the Law of Attraction predated the religious texts that I was studying.

Moving onto vogue, the Law of Attraction was picking up speed, separating itself from religious venues and leaking into pop culture and embraced by what was known as the New Age Movement or associated with New Thought, then found a home amongst Quantum Theory, influencing Quantum Mechanics and Quantum Sciences.

The Secret law of attraction rhonda byrne positive psychology self improvement

You have probably heard of the Law of Attraction due to its increase in popularity thanks to the work of Rhonda Byrne’s release of the movie, The Secret. I became acquainted with Ms. Byrne and her work in 2008 and was so impressed with her story, which was an effective demonstration of the Law of Attraction in Action. Most of the general population had not heard about the Law of Attraction prior to the release of Bryne’s film that spread throughout our culture, like wildfire, though many had paved the way since the early 1900’s, most notably, Wallace D. Wattles and Charles F. Haanel, and in the most recent times, Esther Hicks and (of course) the entire cast of The Secret movie.

Regardless of what you might think about Ms. Byrne, thanks to the popularity of her work, the Law of Attraction has found a place among a pondering public, becoming curiouser and curiouser about

What else is possible?

and

How much better can it get?

For those of us in the self-help industry, the idea of the Law of Attraction was nothing new, and the area wherein we focused our attention was not readily accepted by the traditional treatment camps – Even though our results far outweighed any traditional therapies – we were regarded as pseudoscience or pop psychology. Since (in the beginning) much of my work was religious in nature, I was even more isolated and categorized as a prosperity theologian with the likes of Kenneth Hagin, E. W. Kenyon, Oral Roberts and Kenneth Copeland, even though I had moved far beyond the constraints of organized religion.

Be that as it may, a great deal of my studies and expertise revolves and evolves in, around and beyond the area of massive personal, heart-centered and spiritual growth. In an attempt to best serve my clients, I have fully embraced multiple modalities and continue to grow and expand my own consciousness and expertise. For me, this is a constant and never ending compulsion to be my highest and best, as I help others achieve their highest and best.

And it never ceases to amaze me, when I reach a new plateau, I encounter resistance. Life will shake me up, with little respect for my trepidation and fear, presenting me with a new, unforeseen summit to consider.

Rhonda Byrne’s participation in the popularization of the idea of the Law of Attraction was almost incidental. The universe was bound and determined to bring the idea to an increased audience that was waiting for a glimpse of a better life and hope for a bright future, when lightning struck Ms. Byrne and she was ready and willing to answer the call. The Secret is not a complete work, it is not the end all-be all source of the Law of Attraction. It is only an introduction…

Any questions, comments, suggestions?