Overwhelmed When Memories Come Rushing Back

Life is overwhelming and who of us does not have serious PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from negative experiences we’ve suffered throughout life? And you are overwhelmed when memories come rucking back potentially crippling your otherwise normal day to day life.

You’re doing the best you can, going about your business of just getting by and trying to responsible and “normal,” when all of a sudden you are triggered and, BAM! Your world is suddenly rocked, and you find yourself emotionally disempowered as you’re transported through space and time to the moment when the crisis or trauma occurred.

PTSD is a spectrum which includes everything from watching your best friend get blown to pieces in Afghanistan to being punished for something you didn’t do as an innocent two-year-old and potentially anything in between.

You do your best to push those events out of your mind, bury them down somewhere in the dark recesses of your soul, and no matter how diligent you are, you can be instantly triggered without warning, and there you are again. You may have all the emotional overwhelm, either accompanied by an outburst or not, and not even be cognizant of the original source of the trauma.

You may even wonder if your sanity, or ability to cope, is at risk of being lost forever.
Not to worry, you’re not losing your mind or going crazy. Unfortunately, you’re starting to realize that you’re not that much unlike the rest of us. We’re all doing the best to get through life the best we can without making too much of a scene, and periodically, we all stumble and fall, for none of us is perfect, no matter how hard we try to project the image of perfection to those who are watching us.

Those people that you think have it all together? Believe me, they, too, are just doing the best they can. It’s just that some of us are better at it than others. And the ones who appear to be better at it, have ways to deal with being utterly overwhelmed when memories come rucking back in their life.

If you knew a little more about them, you might find out that these people who seem to have it so together are practicing methods of self-care which enable them to deal with these issues a little better when they come up, such as seeing a coach, counselor, or consultant who specializes in disseminating the skills to deal with such past trauma.

It takes a certain skill set to deal with traumatizing events from the past including effectively processing grief from the death of a loved one, the loss of a deep romantic love, a friend, companion, pet, or even a job that was an important part of your life.

These negative life events leave wounds and scars which can haunt you throughout life, if not dealt with in a positive manner.

There is no doubt that certain things happen in life that causes you to be triggered as the flood of emotions suck you into a whirlpool of helplessness and despair. So be attentive. Become the detective charged with identifying all your triggers, so that next time, you can be better prepared and have a diffusing action plan in place for the next time you’re in a situation when you start to see events line up which could potentially move you into such a state (of being triggered).

These coping skills can help you take control of your life in a safe, sane, positive, and productive manner.

Triggers instantly transport you back in time throwing you into a state of fight or flight in an order to preserve and sustain your life, even though your life may not really be at risk in the present moment. You may tend to isolate yourself from others, retreat and stop communicating, strike out in irrational rage, or turn and run. As you may have noticed, nothing good comes from running away from anything that does not impose a violent threat to your very existence either.

Therapy, getting your frustrations up and out, discovering the root causes of your angst, and dealing with them, is the best way we know of to put you back in the driver’s seat of your life, besides an instantaneous healing miracle (which has been known to happen). By eliminating all those pent up fears, frustrations, and anger which has accumulated, creating emotional wounds and scars, there is hope of a bright future for you, filled with peace, fulfillment, happiness, and joy.

Many alternative healing modalities exist and are available to you, if you only look for them, and are open to the other possibilities beyond the limited resources which available to you via traditional psychology or psychotherapy. Feel free to examine what ancient or non-traditional therapeutic models may be available and continue to use those which resonate and are effective for you and your circumstance.

If you are not spiritually-inclined, don’t be afraid to seek out more spiritually-sensitive treatment models when you feel like you are becoming overwhelmed when memories come rucking back. You might be surprised at how many spiritual methods require no religious preference or belief at all. While religion may profess a set of prerequisites to comply with prior to treatment, God does not.

Rejecting Love

Some people just have no capacity for love. It’s not that they have no love in them because every one of us comes pre-filled with unlimited love, yet still, there are those who cannot accept love or even receive love because they have, to varying degrees, limited their inner love center or shut it down completely.

You recognize these people building virtual walls around themselves to keep people from getting in. They are highly guarded, defensive about love, keepers of secrets, and avoid connection through social interaction. Even a simple compliment is quickly discounted by these otherwise well-meaning people, who may be quick to respond aggressively or in anger as they reject the idea of being complimented.

At one moment, he or she can seem perfectly normal and suddenly they transform into someone else in a sort of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde safety maneuver.

Our earliest experiences in life often dictate how you will respond to love throughout your life. It is highly likely that a person who rejects love did not grow up around a healthy love model in his or her young life.

In their tender, early years, those who reject love probably equated love with disappointment, rejection, and a barrage of other negative feelings which causes emotional pain and trauma triggered by even the thought of being vulnerable enough to give or receive love.

That’s why someone who has childhood trauma associated with love might react negatively or with hostility when approached with the idea of being loved as he or she sees love as a threat and may feel those same emotions tied to their unconscious childhood memories welling up inside them causing them to defensively reject an otherwise innocent loving gesture.

Those who are closest to them may find themselves being rejected, blamed for the way they are feeling or expressing themselves, accused of some imposed offense, or potential victims of abusive behavior when all they did was to offer caring love and support.

If you are one of those unfortunate recipients of an emotional upheaval, be aware that it has nothing to do with you. Only someone who is in a lot of suppressed emotional pain would respond to your love and affection that way.

Often these people are reacting to their life-long attempts to bury their negative feelings from childhood of loneliness, neglect, fear of abandonment, or abuse.

Their survival instinct kicks in as they subconsciously try to keep themselves from being hurt again, like they were in their youth, when someone they depended on, loved and trusted made them feel safe, loved and protected, only to found out that the people they love will let them down, betray, or hurt them.

There is also a conscious disconnect if someone feels as though they are unlovable, unworthy of being loved, or associates pain with love when someone else extends love to them. It’s like a short circuit happens in their brain, which challenges everything they “know” about life and their place in our society.

This feeling that being a victim of all the negative things which could happen when he or she is loved is triggered and this type of victimhood is very difficult to break-through.

A sense of mortality can present a problem with accepting love if they are obsessed with the idea of impending death. This can be triggered early in life when a loved one or a pet that was deeply loved suddenly dies. It could also happen later in life when an adult loses a loved-one unexpectedly.

These are the people who enter into a contract with their being to never love again so as to avoid the painful loss. They feel better about keeping close relationships at arm’s length or seeking a secluded life in isolation.

There are many other reasons which might find you face-to-face with someone who avoids or rejects love. In any case, those who are able to move on beyond their inclination to reject love are able to make a break-through by working with a coach, consultant, or counselor who can help them deal with the issues which threaten their ability to love and be loved.

And just as effectively, a love rejector can find their way by working through these issues and meet their inner child all on their own.

Even so, most importantly, when someone acts as though they are rejecting your love, know it is not about you, even if they blame you for their reaction. It is your responsibility to be compassionate and love them no matter what.

Do not try to fix them. Do not accuse them of being wrong or broken because they are not.

The object of your affection is only doing the best that he or she can with what they have.

Find new ways to love and support them which do not trigger his or her defense systems and love them unconditionally, if you dare.

God willing, one day he or she will awaken to true love and find a better way to love and be loved.

Love is all there is, everything else is an illusion.