responsibility | David M Masters

Take the Blame

When you feel compelled to blame others for your misfortunes, it may be time to turn your attention inward because more often than not, when you point your finger at someone else, it’s a pretty good indication that the responsible party is doing the finger-pointing.

Who wants to admit that they are sabotaging themselves? No one. Regardless, if you want your circumstance and life to change for the better, really the only way to get there is to take responsibility for the situation.

So, if you’re looking for someone to blame, blame yourself.

This is the fast-track to creating meaningful and rapid, long-lasting changes in your life.

Can you change anyone else? Not really. You might be able to coerce them to comply with your demands, but their heart will not be in it and the results will be short-lived. You can only change you.

This goes not only for people, but everything around you which creates situations which do not appear to serve you well. The doctor, bankers, the laws, the cops, the “system,” the government, the tax collectors, Mother Nature, natural disasters, the Grim Reaper, the devil, even God.

Whenever you start to place responsibility outside yourself, as early as you can notice it, it’s time to switch it up and ask yourself,

What part did I play in this?

And look for ways to answer the question,

How can I make it my fault?

If you can put yourself in the driver’s seat of your life in this manner, you can take charge of all areas of your life. Things that seemed chaotic and out of control, start to fall into place when you take full responsibility for whatever is causing you discontent, stress, or just not going your way.

All of a sudden, you are no longer a victim and you are able to influence areas of life which seemed to be beyond your influence. Misfortunes or bad luck disintegrate and fade away because you are the master, like the director of your life’s story.

It’s like you’ve been dropped off in some place which seems unfamiliar to you with a film crew. You are unaware of your surroundings, but curious about the props which may be available to you, and your purpose is to make the best motion picture you can, using only the indigenous tools, people, places, things, including culture and circumstance to the best of your ability. What’s in your movie?

When you are “at cause,” when you take full responsibility, you are the director of your life, so start directing.

Now, you are in charge of your relationship(s), your friends, family, co-workers, job or career,

The only thing that’s holding you back from all the good things in life is the “you” who resides within you who seeks to blame anyone or anything for everything that doesn’t go your way.

You’ve been programmed to play the role of the victim by blaming everyone and everything but you. You don’t have to accept any responsibility for playing the part of the helpless victim, and if you choose to do so, victimization will be a constant in your life. If this is your lot in life, you will blame anyone and everything for whatever happens to you.

Everyone else is at fault but you. You blame your past, your parents, your siblings. You blame the country, society, your boss, other drivers, anyone or anything, as long as it’s not you because you are pure and blameless. (Which sounds a little narcissistic, does it not?)

No problem. You can take the wheel at any time and become the master of your fate.

Stop the game and take the blame.

Is now a good time to take charge of your life now?

You Could Have Done It Better

Sometimes in life, we all make decisions that change everything. It’s as if your whole life shifts into a completely different track of life, all from a decision you made at what you thought was an insignificant point in your life which turned out to be one of the most massively pivotal junctures in your life. Now, here you are.

If only you could have done it better. If only you knew then what you know now. All that second-guessing and nostalgic rumination, and for what?

Each one of those decisions which were made by based on analysis, emotion, or abruptly in the heat of the moment earmarks a point in time when we could have (if we had the cognisance and intention to do so) made a choice, decision, or taken action based on knowledge, feedback, or a feeling provided to our consciousness from our heart.

Your heart, if you are able to tap into this powerful resource, is the seat of wisdom.

Most of us let our mind, our brain, run everything. If you allow your mind and intellect to dictate all your thoughts and interpretation(s) of your surroundings, you will never hear or feel the still small voice echoing from your intuitive heart consciousness.

For those of us who have taken action based on our intellectual or emotional rationale, or in a knee-jerk reaction to some ancient anchor, in retrospect, there is a part of us which knows we could have done it better. Since the opportunity has passed, it is likely that you will be visited by regret.

Left to itself regret can turn into guilt, but it doesn’t have to. If you can find hidden treasure, the embedded sacred lesson in the event, you can receive the gift of wisdom. Storing this blessed data in your consciousness can help you to live a better life. Faced with a similar circumstance or decision in the future, you can refer back to this lesson and do better next time.

Your experience may be beneficial to someone else who you see in a similar situation.

Accept responsibility for your responses or actions, which you could have done better, in the past. This was all “you” in your glory of simply being human. Extract the educational value in the event, realize you could have done it better, and vow to do it better next time. Accept responsibility and change. Have gratitude for the event, love it, and leave the past behind. Let it go.

To allow yourself to be haunted by something you did in the past is abusive. If you can learn from your mistakes, your self-abuse is never justified. Love and forgive yourself, if necessary. Love it and let it go.

The divine reality of it all is that you really never do anything wrong. Certainly, there are things you could have done better, but anything that changes your course in life in some radical way always leads to growth and expansion.

You find yourself exposed to unlimited possibilities of new life when you are transported to an entirely new path and perspective.

While you may not be able to see it from your current vantage point, in the not too far off future, you will be able to look back at these pivotal events in your life and see the divine order of it all.

Every misstep, every bad decision, emotional response, injustice, broken heart, or hurt feeling is calling you to exponential greater opportunities, allowing you to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Accepting Responsibility and Change

We all make decisions in the moment that affect the rest of our lives. These are those pivotal places in life which disrupt the current path of our lives, changing the direction, plan, and purpose of our lives completely.

There is nothing wrong with this. There is no wrong way to make a decision or take an action which changes the rest of your life forever, for no matter what you do, it is always divine in nature.

There is no need to second-guess or apologize for anything you say or do result in your ability to change your life. When the result causes a significant change of direction in your life, this is always for your highest and best.

Your life might be in need of a drastic change, and most likely whenever this massive readjustment takes place, you are not going to feel good about it. You may feel good about the change in the beginning, only to second-guess your decisions or actions later. You may discover that others (possibly even yourself) might try to make you feel guilty about making such a major adjustment.

Guilt is nothing that serves you, so reject the idea of it at every opportunity. You may have remorse because you would have rather something had gone or turned out differently than you expected but feeling guilty is a fear-based emotion which seeks to tear at your emotional fabric and intends to destroy your individuality.

You must find peace in accepting things as they are (what is accepting what is?), honoring regret without succumbing to remorse.

Maybe, if given the chance to do it over, you would have handled the details differently, but the truth of the matter is that things unfolded the way they did. You did the best you could in the moment that changed everything, and you did so perfectly. Want a do-over?

Yes, things changed, and this is the essence of a life full of opportunities for growth and change, increasing the possibilities exponentially throughout your life as it ripples throughout the lives of others.

These life choices, challenges, or changes in life circumstances enable us to grow and expand beyond that which would have been possible had we stayed in a sedimentary or dormant vibration.

People in your life may not have the same respect for growth and change, and they may try to intimidate or impose psychological pressure on you in an effort to persuade you to stay the same. There is a certain comfort in sameness, which hinders growth and supports mediocrity. You needn’t settle for mediocrity.

If you’ve chosen the pursuit of a life path which is open to change then opportunities to change will present themselves, and if your life is not changing, then you’re not doing it right.

You are not flawed, and you’re never doing it wrong, no matter what anyone says. You are simply making your own way and honoring your God-given right to do so.

It was never your intention to offend or hurt anyone in the process. If anyone was offended or hurt, you may regret your part in their pain, and vow to do it differently, better than the last time. This is part of your learning and growth process.

No one knows better than I, that even with the best intentions, the outcome did not unfold as I expected and people (even including myself) were hurt in the process. For this, I have profound regret, but my heart was pure. I accept responsibility for those things I cannot change, apologize when appropriate, and vow to learn and try to do better if ever I revisit a similar circumstance.

Your journey is one unlike any other, and we can’t wait to see you live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

I Was Wrong

If you are the kind or person who is constantly blazing a new trail throughout your life’s journey, you’re likely to experience missteps when burrowing through uncharted territory; and this is a good thing.

Onlookers, casual spectators, doubters, critics and haters are watching every step you make and are likely to point out that you’re wrong to wander off the beaten path. It’s as if in the event that you suffer any damages that you deserve it because you’re not doing it right or as though something is wrong with you. The nay sayers may try to demean you, disrespect, try to discredit you or make fun of you. Their expectation is that you turn away from your cavalier exploration and return to the herd in an effort to save yourself from embarrassment, death or worse…

The truth of the matter is the haters and hecklers are not bad people, it’s just that they are incredibly frightened you might succeed and any mistake that you might make along the way, justifies their lack of taking a more proactive approach to their life. The more they exploit your mistakes, the better they feel about their own mediocrity, for at the very least, they are somewhat safe and no one is challenging their decision to remain in the life they’ve become comfortably accustomed to.

I applaud you for being one of the few of us who choose to take the road less traveled. It’s not so much that we develop a skin thick enough not to react to attacks by folks who are uncomfortable with our personal growth and progress it’s just that we wouldn’t let someone’s words throw us off track. At least they’re not using sticks and stones.

The best way to quickly recover and get back is to acknowledge you could have done better and get back to your work. If your accusers appear to have an attitude of genuine concern or reside within your inner circle of influence a little humility goes a long way. Humbly admitting

I Screwed Up

Will help people feel more empathetic to your cause if you are simply expressing your flawed humanity. No one can begrudge you for seeing us all as basically the same, all doing the best we can with what we have, even if some of us do it differently than others. On the other hand, if they are just hateful or disrespectful, you do not have to acknowledge their accusations at all.

Listen to Feedback

Occasionally, unsuspecting spectators can offer input or observations you were unable to see while entangled in the work that lead to your misstep. So, it’s good to lend an ear to those who have been watching from afar in case they may have insight that may prove to be helpful once you regain your balance and continue to re-engage your process. And you may be surprised to find helpful insight coming from hateful attackers (though it is unnecessary to acknowledge them, if it is your policy not to respond to people who are unkind), just file away the learning. In fact, for folks like us, there is no failure, only learning.

Learning from Mistakes

The most important component is that you extract all the knowledge obtained via your process of trial and error. The results give you a unique perspective which cannot be duplicated by the armchair observers as you move forward while taking responsibility for your actions.

You can spend years in college learning about all the best characteristics and techniques filling your head with practical concepts and knowledge, but the men and women on the front lines with their feet on the street actually doing the work and creatively approaching challenges as they appear on-the-fly and dealing with real-life circumstances which won’t show up in textbooks for years, they are the real heroes.

These are the innovators, not the imitators. They are setting themselves apart from the masses. To them it is better to create something from scratch, to bring value to the community for the greater good, even to aspire to make the world a better place, not just for themselves, but for the world at large for generations to come.

I am not condemning those who have opted to follow the path of academia. I applaud them for their efforts and discipline and find they make important team members. They bring skills and perspectives to the table that expands far beyond entrepreneurial street smarts, and they may well be innovators as well (and if they hang out with me for long, will find themselves spending more and more time looking outside the box, too).

Thanks for taking the high road.

We’re all on this journey together, yet independently.

-Carpe DM

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

You have a unique superpower, a gift or ability of value and importance to benefit the community or the world. It is an innate ability, gift or talent you were born with – so from your own perspective – it may not seem as though it is any ability at all, because it is simply part of the person you are and you accept it as a personality trait or flaw. That is, if you recognize it at all, due to suppression of your special powers early on, in your youth.

For those of us in the ministry of empowering people and helping them to recognize and embrace their unique abilities, it is not that dissimilar to the work of Xavier (Professor X) founder of the X-Men, as he seeks out mutants who possess unnatural abilities. For those who possess the abilities, in most cases they are perceived as a disability, they believe they are unworthy or are too timid and/or shy to be of any value to others. With Xavier’s coaching they discover what they had thought was a personal curse, was actually a super-power, if embraced and mastered. The comic book premise is not far from the truth.

Whether you thank Voltaire or Spider-man’s Uncle Ben for the phrase

With great power comes great responsibility

the fact remains that those who possess a particular superpower and wield it with power and authority, have an obligation to use their abilities for good and not evil. At the very least acknowledging and accepting the Hippocratic Oath’s tenet, “to do no harm,” is an honorable forbearance. Enough to give one pause before deploying your power in a way that may have a negative effect later or on someone else. Though, this cannot always be guaranteed that no one will ever be harmed, for that is a matter of perspective, but at least to be vigilantly respectful and cognoscente prior to executing your ability would be virtuous.

This caveat (and/or cause for pause) should preempt any use of power or force, from parenting to social interactions and from education to law enforcement, especially in acts of violence and war.

Sometimes, a well-pondered playing out of possible outcomes using your power of imagination, can help you come to a logical conclusion as to whether this is the right time, place and circumstance to use your special power in full force. You might conclude using only a small sample of your ability sufficient in the moment, or not using it may be your best contribution for the greater good.

The idea of considering what is in the best interest of the greater good is of paramount importance when exercising one’s innate powers and abilities. It’s as if you as the fully empowered superhero must act from a place of humility and possess a servant’s heart for maximum effectiveness and maintenance of potential damage control, always weighing the effects of your actions on others and the world at large.

It’s easy to understand why superheroes have the need to use an alter ego or alternative personality to blend in while navigating the world of everyday life, then don a costume when exercising their abilities in full force.

In fact, many of us tend to suit-up so-to-speak to exercise our superpowers in public, though many of us can conduct our contributions for the most part in private or secrecy.

Do you exercise your superpowers responsibly?

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