Self Esteem Confidence Appreciation Love

Self-esteem

Self-esteem could be better referred to as your feeling of self-worth as a reflection from the mirror of your outer world, family, and/or society and it is conditional based upon external valuation.

Self-esteem is, “I like myself because I look a particular way.” Or, “I like myself because I do a good job at work,” or, “I like myself because I’m a nice person.”

If you are very critical of yourself, you could probably use some focused attention on raising your self-esteem.

Some personality types exude a false sense of self-esteem, which becomes apparent when they meet life’s challenges, allowing situational circumstances to cause their entire world to fall apart.

Low self-esteem represents a continuum that spans from mild to chronic and is usually marked by fear, unworthiness, reclusiveness, lack of motivation, fatigue, insomnia, assurance-seeking, including checking one’s phone often for some assurance that one’s life might have value. Chronic low self-esteem can lead to suicidal thoughts.

Self-confidence

Self-confident people base the value of themselves on their own valuation more so than on the opinion or seeking approval, of others. Self-confidence is the upgrade to self-esteem. You are competent and confident in yourself and your strengths, understand that you have shortcomings, but when life throws you a curveball, your self-esteem may slump in tune with the situation, but your self-confidence, though it may slip momentarily, will always return to your baseline of self-confidence, enabling you weather most any storm.

If you have good self-confidence, you have a positive inner-dialogue or self-talk, you don’t beat yourself up for missteps, do not seek to blame yourself or others, and are not prone to give much credence to the rumor mill or what others might think. You realize that life is a balancing of give-and-take, ups-and-downs.

Your self-confidence enables you to experience the challenges we face in life without being totally devastated. You can go through hard times and come out on the other side feeling okay about yourself and the world.

Self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is the attribute which trumps self-esteem every time, because self-acceptance asserts, “I’m okay,” no matter what. It’s not based on other’s opinions or what anyone else thinks about you. Self-acceptance resides within you, independently, enabling you to feel good about your strengths as well as embracing your weaknesses as part of your unique character.

You accept yourself for what and who you are and are not prone to bouts of self-deprecating guilt because you can forgive yourself. You realize that it is what it is, and you’re just doing the best with what you have in the moment, which may not always be as right as it could be, or worked out the way you intended, but you meant well, and you can forgive yourself when things don’t work out as planned.

If you accept yourself the way you are, you may not be motivated to engage in much self-improvement because you’re all good just the way you are.

Accepting yourself allows the real you to shine through, without worrying about what others might think. You can relax, be more open and honest about who you are, what you’re feeling, and what you want or need. Self-acceptance is a powerful attribute in love and relationships, ushering in transparency in communication and life, leading to deeper connections and greater intimacy, while also enabling you to allow others to be who they are without judgment.

Self-love

Less enlightened folks will caution against the idea of self-love because they believe loving yourself leads to selfishness, unrestricted indulgences, and egotistical or narcissistic tendencies, which are actually demonstrable personality traits indicating a lack of self-love. You can understand why one might confuse these considering our society’s fear-based programming.

A lack of self-love is also expressed by one’s ability to hate; to hate others and one’s self.

We can manage to express love to others in the absence of great self-love, though this is laborious and is contradictory to the sacred charge to, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). Tis better to serve from a cup overflowing.

Lack of self-love is also what motivates us to find love outside of ourselves, which rarely, if ever, provides us the quality of love we seek and long for. Since it is highly unlikely to find and sustain this divine love outside ourselves (though it may feel as though it has been attained in the short-term) relationships decline in love, even if they do manage to stay together.

You were born with the true source of love, though since birth it has been hidden within you, it still is there waiting. It is the Holy Grail tucked away inside your heart, buried in your treasure chest, waiting to be discovered by you. You are the only person who can find, embrace and release its awesome power.

Self-love is powered by the source of all life, a sacred inner appreciation for yourself, regardless of anything external. It represents the connection to divine love that was lost at birth, or soon thereafter. It cannot be worked for or earned, it is a powerful free gift via the real-time connection, and sees you as perfect, as you see yourself through the eyes of God.

Self-love accepts you unconditionally and has the unfailing respect, compassion, and love for you and everything you think and do, regardless, as well as empowering you to love others unconditionally, as your love overflows to them.

Self-love lights the way to experiencing greater love and connection with everyone, and everything everywhere. This love tethers you to original source love and thereby all life.

Go Love Yourself

You’re head all this talk about loving yourself, and you’re met people who have gone through this process with exemplary results, but there’s something about loving yourself that just doesn’t sound right. Not to worry, we are the result of our social and familial programming and we were trained not to think in this way. Add to that all the images and fears from our childhood that follow us around like monsters in the shadows even to this day, and it’s no surprise there’s little chance that you might consider loving yourself.

How can I love myself?

Loving yourself is a process, it just doesn’t happen overnight.

Realizing that currently, you represent the product of your past, your programming, and your upbringing is the first step. Many of us have childhood beliefs that follow us forever, like, “everyone else comes first,” unworthiness, self-deprecation, lack of trust, fear of abandonment, etc… Ideations that will haunt us until we are able to recognize them, face them and defeat our own inner demons.

Much of what comprises your thought process, your fears and beliefs about the way things are just aren’t true. Loving yourself starts with embracing the idea that somewhere inside of you there has always been an authentic individual who is uniquely empowered and utterly amazing. This is the real you, the you that came to this planet with a unique set of talents, skills, and abilities to share with the greater community as well as your own message and mission.

Sadly, this knowledge was beaten out of you, as it was also taken from us all, as we were programmed to accept our place in the socialized world where we live. When you first appeared here, you knew who you were and what your purpose in life was, but all that had been replaced by programming by the time you were five-to-seven-years-old.

As you love yourself, you free yourself from the shackles of old thoughts and actions. You reclaim your true self by loving and respecting who you are and finding peace in your sacred space. It requires the deprogramming of old programming and patterns that ‘til now have defined your reality.

Paying attention to thoughts, ideas and unsubstantiated fears that may pop up in your awareness, recognizing them for what they are (a popular acronym for FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real, which seems to be apropos), dealing with them and discovering new ideas that present unimpeded limitless opportunity.

The process starts with a simple prayer,

“I am ready to let go of all the fears and entrapments of my past. I am ready to release all the falsehoods and see me for who I really am.”

That’s it. It’s a simple prayer, which reaches outside of yourself for guidance and support. Your societal façade will start to fade as you vector in energetic waves in support of your prayer. Repeating this prayer for thirty to forty days will begin to attract messages and guidance. You must be aware, alert, and attentive to see the messages as they are brought to your awareness.

You might see common themes in advertising, television programs, in news stories, articles, blogs, in topics of conversation, overheard when eavesdropping on other people’s conversations. You might feel drawn to a particular television program, book, seminar, or meet someone new who might have a special word for you. The possibilities are endless.

You have started the process, but it not enough just to start it, you must take action, do the work, read the book(s), ask the questions, and keep moving in the direction of knowing yourself doing the work of changing your thought processes, and loving yourself even more.

You will be surrounded by an invisible energy, like a bubble, which will protect you as you stay in this exploratory and transformative vibration. Be open to receiving as new knowledge unfolds before you and have faith that your prayer is being answered in just the right way because it’s different for every person.

Not taking action on these benevolent gifts which are being bestowed upon you would be a stark denial of the power which is answering your prayer, and you wouldn’t do that.

Your journey to go love yourself has begun.

Celebrate Growth in Fashion

Okay, you’ve been growing, changing, sacrificing, saying “goodbye” to your old destructive pattern and, “hello” to the new, and improved, a more expanded consciousness of your new self. You’re loving yourself more, and now it’s time to show yourself a little love by shopping and celebrating your growth in fashion.

The new you desires to be exposed, not hidden away, like the shadows of your past. When people look at you, they see something different. It’s time to let your difference shine. You are looking better, feeling better, your body and its immune system are getting better. You’re healthier and embracing life, so go ahead. Treat yourself to some new threads to affirm the new you.

Uh oh, here come the haters… “No,” they say, “You can’t do that,” as if to say you’re better than that. You know, you’ve seen ‘em, those holier-than-thou spiritual types who should be reported directly to the fashion police. To them, they feel that a well-kept and fashionable appearance (and frequent bathing) is not appropriate for the more spiritually advanced.

That’s a different topic, entirely. Don’t let them dissuade you from celebrating your new life because you’re living a better life, your best life and making the world a better place. You’re no longer a rat in the race, you’re establishing a whole new pace, and it’s time to celebrate.

It’s possible that the old fearful you was often sacrificed for the benefit of others, but this new you… It is courageous and longs to be recognized and celebrated by you. It wants to be adorned making your inner him or her shine through, and it’s perfectly okay if others notice.

Now, I’m not saying to go overboard and max out all your credit cards in celebration of your new perspective on life. What I am saying is that it’s okay (if not necessary) to demonstrate a little self-love to your inner girl or boy by letting him or her play dress up every once and a while.

And if your negative self-talk starts to rear its head and begin mind-chatter about your unworthiness, squash it. You are worthy and you deserve this little treat. As a matter of fact, it may have been a long time coming, and the time has come.

This is not about frivolous excess, it’s about rewarding yourself for a job well done. You’ve done the work, the deep inner work, that would be so frightening to someone else that they would not ever dare to conceive of taking on such a challenge. But you have.

It’s time to express yourself authentically, in honoring and nurturing the wonderfully amazing person that you are evolving into. So, go pick out something beautiful, something that genuinely represents who you are, or even something fun, to celebrate your authenticity and individuality.

Let others see you for who you are. You are more self-confident, generous, use words that exude kindness and compassion. You’re honoring the temple of your body, are mindful of what you put in it and how you treat it. You respect who you are and present yourself as a clean, deserving and well-kept student, today.

This radical celebration of self-love raises your vibration and you will see good things coming your way as they are being attracted to the new you and your exuberant presence.

You are both blessed and a blessing to others.

You are worthy. You have done the work and are continuing to do so.

This is your day.

Enjoy.