‘Tis better to give than receive.
That’s what they say.
So, the most benevolent of us often finds ourselves giving and giving upon giving for the benefit of others, while we sacrifice ourselves to death. It is not uncommon for these massively unselfish individuals who would give you the shirt off their back, the shoes off their feet and even their rent money to develop cancer and die. In some cases, the cancer and the idea of passing from life to death is comforting because the patient feels as though their reward for their selflessness waits on the other side.
Yet, not all who give of themselves unselfishly get sick and/or contract cancer, some actually are flourishing as others deteriorate suffering from a variety of ailments.
So what’s the difference?
You are the difference. How do you feel when you give?
Givers who give from abundance and joy give from a cup that is full… and they may have multiple full cups to give from. These are they happy, healthy givers. Giving from one cup – which may be low – may be emotionally financed from another overflowing cup.
In this way, you could have two people both with the same amount of money in the bank. They both give all that they have in their bank account to help a family who has lost everything due to their home being burned to the ground. One is enthusiastic, energized and happy about the gift, while the other is discouraged, depleted and depressed about the gift. Though I have used money as an example. I’m referring to giving of anything, like time, attention, talent, belongings, location, etc…
Those who are constantly asking, “What can I do for you?” and those who are inclined to offer unsolicited acts of kindness are superheroes in our society. But if your giving is not making you feel good, then you may be practicing unhealthy giving and this unhealthy giving could be killing you.
Self-sacrificially giving to make you feel better about yourself (if you’re not feeling well, suffer from feelings of inadequacies or unworthiness). while there may be a temporary surge of feeling better (it does make you feel good to help someone else) the longer term effects can exasperate your health and wellness.
All resources are not created equal, some balance sheets have a greater value than others but combined they could represent a healthy portfolio from which healthy giving could flow, even if one account is low, the other accounts can subsidize the giving.
20 Ways to Fund Your Giving
These various accounts represent things other than the cup the gift originates from. In example, here are twenty cups that could help you finance your giving to others, such as (1) Food/Shelter/Clothing, (2) Self-confidence/esteem, (3) Optimistic Outlook on Life, (4) Good Health, (5) Loving Family, (6) Good Friends, (7) Cuddly Pets, (8) Transportation, (9) A Good Job, (10) Low (or no) Debt, (11) Worry-free, (12) Creative Thought Processes, (13) Enthusiastic Hobby and/or Ongoing Projects, (14) Reading Good Books, (15) Trying or Learning New Things, (16) Extra Time on Your Hands, (17) You Treat Yourself First, (18) Open to Receiving, (19) Happiness (present and past) and (20) Gratitude.
It is the combined balance of all these accounts which fuels your ability to participate in healthy giving.
If you are giving due to lack of any of these accounts, the results can be destructive to your body, soul and spirit.
Does it mean to stop giving?
Well, if your giving is killing you or making you susceptible to attracting cancer or other diseases, it may be time to cut back on your giving until you’re able to build up balances in other accounts first.
This is an exciting journey.
Manage what you can in the best way possible for living a better life.