Should I Smoke Pot?

You might ask, “Should I smoke pot?” Or wonder what the effects of prolonged use of marijuana might be on one’s life journey?

With the growing popularity and legalization of the use of marijuana, increasingly I am asked, “Should I be smoking pot?” by clients on their path to a better life, their best lives, and making the world a better place.

Now that there is a “growing trend” of marijuana uses, especially since more states are decriminalizing the use of marijuana, are allowing the medical use of marijuana, and it is becoming legal in many states, there are many questions arising about the effects of marijuana in general, and in my work increasingly, clients are inquiring about its use more often.

It’s not an easy question to answer because of it’s not a black-and-white issue. There is nothing inherently bad about the use of marijuana, and it offers many health benefits if used medicinally. Then, there is that part of, if used in excess, it could be counter-productive.

Many people with worse addictions are using marijuana to kick their addictions. My question is, are they just trading one addiction for another? If one addiction causes less harm than the other there is definitely value in trading a bad one for a better one, right?

The effect of this growing green substance also affects each person differently depending on their body’s chemistry and psychological profile. As therapeutic as the green stuff might be, it may be keeping you from achieving your highest and best.

What do I say when a client asks what the effects of marijuana would have on the quality of their spiritual journey from prolonged use over time?

It’s really up to you, where you are in your path in your life’s journey. There are times when the use of marijuana and other drugs could be highly beneficial or warranted for mitigating the damages from the surprises of life that catch you off-guard,

Weed is an excellent numbing agent and if you’re in a lot of pain, physically or psychologically, it can certainly help to keep you in a calm state or help you to sleep at night. When choosing a substance to help get you over the hump, why not pick something that is less likely to harm or kill you.

It also depends on where you are in your life’s journey amidst the 7 Phases of Personal Growth, or the 7 Phases of Spiritual Growth, as well as those situational moments of change.

No one but you can really discern when it is a good time for you to use pot, if at all.

Other things to consider are whether you actually need the effects of THC to get the benefits you want from Dr. Mary Jane. CBD oil is growing in popularity and is legal in most states now because it can be manufactured with little or no THC while retaining the healing properties of marijuana.

No one is going to judge you for your use of weed in any of its varieties if it is legal where you partake, but some people may raise an eyebrow if it affects you negatively, and it would be wise for you to get regular input from people who really care about you. Because, if you’re taking marijuana with any degree of frequency, you might not be able to see its effects on you and your life.

Objective views are very valuable, and I think this is why I am seeing the question, “Should I continue to smoke pot?” asked more frequently.

No problem. This is what coaches, counselors, and consultants are there for, right?

Just be aware that the answer is not as easy as it might seem. There are many things to consider.

Also, remember that just because a thing is legal and has beneficial properties doesn’t necessarily mean that is good for you in all circumstances and situations.

I smoked pot and got high in my teens regularly, until the day I woke up and looked around at all the adults that were smoking pot regularly and asked myself if that was the life I wanted to live? Fortunately, I had a wide breadth of pot smokers’ lives I could examine.

There were mostly low-income earners and a few high-rollers to give me an idea of the range and what I might expect if I were to continue smoking weed.

Always the love-inspired person, I decided to stop smoking pot and started to take a more proactive roll in managing my own life. I made a lot of changes, and these changes led me to harmonize with the love of-and-for God and the ministry, and I didn’t stop there.

I’ve never regretted my decision and continue to live one of the most amazing lives I could have ever imagined. Every day is a new and exciting day, leading to yet another.

Sure, there are times when I hit a rough spot, and I might even use marijuana (with or without THC) products if deemed necessary or beneficial.

I am definitely in favor of the continued legalization of marijuana, and I hope that one day it could be truly free and unregulated, as should all substances.

Know this: Love is the most powerful drug of all. Far more powerful than marijuana or any other known substance. Just as you would with any substance, use and exercise your love with care.

What are your thoughts? Have you ever wondered,

“Should I smoke pot?”

Tell me what you think below…

7 Phases of Spiritual Growth

Moving beyond the 7 Phases of Personal Growth the human being begins to transition into its evolutionary being, above and beyond its primitive peers and ancestors. The evolution of contemporary humans takes place in both the head and the heart, expanding the limits of human potential. This evolutionary process continues through 7 phases of spiritual growth.

Phase 1: Awakening

This is the first phase of spiritual growth when the individual begins to ponder there being something more to this life. He or she notices inconsistencies in life, the stories we’ve been told, how we’ve been raised, what we’ve been led to believe.

After the first shock to the system of realizing that things are not as they seem phase ones start to let of psychological trauma, stress, guilt, and unworthiness.

Leaving behind the negative programming of society, the spiritual phase 1 becomes somewhat of a rogue, a lone wolf, and a reluctant leader. He or she finds a new sense of self and being and begins to go with the flow instead of forcing his or her way through life.

Personally inspired, this person, while choosing a path clearly different from his or her peers, becomes more natural, and is less concerned with goal-setting, as he or she becomes more actively focused on the greater good.

Typically, martyrs are found at spiritual growth phase 1.

Phase 2: Leader

Embracing his or her ability to lead, the spiritual phase two inspires others to embrace the evolutionary process as he or is considered to be a visionary, spiritual leader, guru, or shaman, as they increasingly submit to the process of evolution and spiritual growth.

Those in phase two of the spiritual growth process are shining societal symbols encouraging others to consider new ways of looking at life and its unlimited possibilities, have a desire to help change their community and even the world at large.

Phase 3: Master

As the phase 2 leader evolves into phase 3 he or she allows the higher power to do the heavy lifting of evolution. Empowered by the force of life multiplies their effectiveness in influencing others and the world to join in the evolution of society, mankind, and our planet.

The master becomes aware of his or her unique gifts and talents, finding his or her calling and unique message creating a niche for exercising him-or-herself fully alive, blessed, and moving about with the feeling or possessing this power.

This power is challenging for the master who has the utmost respect and fear of the power he or she wields in phase 3. In an effort to balance power with humility, it may also be difficult for him or her to accept the outpouring of blessing and abundance which is attracted by mastery.

In the spiritual phases of growth 1, 2, and 3, there is a symbiotic relationship, a cooperative interdependence among people. Unlike the phases of personal growth which vary from dependence to independence.

Phase 4: Cosmic Consciousness

Finding comfort in the balance of humility and being open to receive blessings and abundance, the phase three progressing into phase 4 spirituality which becomes aware and is able to see that he or she is an active part, an extension of the cosmic consciousness.

Phase fours are part of the absolute, unchanging, and infinite greater whole, experiencing this life in tandem with the life not limited by earthly confines of physicality, time, and/or space.

Phase four brings with it a dichotomy of being one’s “self” observing life from one perspective and that of being aware of one’s unlimited higher self at the same time. This is the key perplexity which the phase 4 faces.

Phase 5: God Consciousness

Once the phase four has fully accepted his or her humanity and divinity simultaneously he or she evolves into God consciousness. Fully aware that God is everywhere and everything, in and through all things, is never-changing yet ever-expanding, eternal, and only the greatest goodness.

There is no longer any of the confusion of separateness which is felt by the phase 4, as the idea of the oneness of self and the source of all life is understood and embraced.

In phase 5 one can experience the full range of life on this planet as well as beyond, finding new ways to integrate with both ends of the spectrum of all life and all its unlimited possibilities.

Phase 6: Unity Consciousness

In the sixth phase of spiritual growth, you are aware that everything (EVERYTHING) including everyone, all things seen and unseen, possibly experienced and not yet experienced, past, present, and future, on the planet and unlimitedly beyond is all one and the same.

Everything is fully integrated. You are God experiencing life from a unique perspective and there is no disconnection from anyone of anything in this experience.

Phase 7: Ascension

This phase is the passing from this dimension to another which may, or may not, be accompanied by death. As the evolution of the human continues there may be the ability to move freely among all dimensions and worlds at will while still retaining your own unique consciousness.

Growth Amidst Chaos

When you’re trying to stay focused on your balancing and maintenance of personal, professional, and spiritual growth, many distractions abound to break your stride, interrupting your maturation and expansion.

As you turn your attention toward maintaining your love vibration and protect your sacred space, circumstances, challenges, and situations crash into your otherwise upwardly mobile progress by any means possible, using the manmade distractors such as “the news,” TV, media, personal communication devices, Google, social media, books, magazines, celebrity gossip, money hardship, relationships with others, or other emotional stressors.

The crux of your growth and expansion is to focus your attention within, yet there are so many methods which society and the “powers that be” utilize to keep you so distracted that staying in the zone for any amount of time is difficult at best.

Taking time to center yourself in quiet repose can give you the pause necessary to adequately review the events of your life in the recent past (yesterday, last week, last month) to give you a good idea about which distractions have the greatest distractibility quotient over you. This recognition sheds light on the areas in your life that may need tending to.

“Everything was going along great, then all of a sudden…”

Whatever comes after that helps to identify particular weaknesses or chinks in your armor. With a little attention to these areas you can repair the damage, or eliminate altogether, any future risk of penetration.

And if that weren’t enough, there’s enough discord among the faith systems of the world to keep you utterly confused about which way to go, as you’re trying to make your own way while staying true to your own purpose, message, passion, and mission.

Everyone has their own idea of how you should approach your spiritual relationship with the ultimate power of the universe, but others are not aware enough to know that while their path may be a perfect match for where they are in their own journey, it may not be perfect for you. In fact, someone else’s path may actually be counterproductive for your continued growth and expansion; another distraction.

The perfect clue to help you identify that someone else’s faith-system is not for you and does not support your highest and best will be the degree of pressure they impose upon you to convert or conform to their point of view. If their insistence is unfailing, threatening, borderline abusive, or destructive, common sense dictates this is not the path of love’s growth and expansion.

Love’s growth and expansion includes the divinity of all forms of life in all their various styles and perspectives, all in various stages of awakening. Even though some may be stagnant, immature, against the flow, or even considered to be controlling, predatory, or evil, all are perfectly divine in their own way.

Separateness keeps us divided, does not support expansive growth, makes humanity stagnate, and is unsustainable, while allowing other people and their ideas simply “to be” while finding more ways to grow and expand one’s self, understanding that we are individuals, yet “one” in love, is the current evolutionary process of the human race.

How we interact with others reveals the nature of our emotional/spiritual condition. If your approach is to either accept like-minded people and reject those who present different approaches to life, you could do better. A fully engaged love vibration will have you seeing the sacredness in all life. The contrast actually helps to promote the evolution of humanity.

At some point, when the evolution hits critical mass, only love will be sustainable, and that which is not love will simply deteriorate and fade away. Until then, the best we can do is to love everyone and everything with all we’ve got, doing the best we can to move this expansive evolutionary process forward.

Don’t take things personally, find opportunities to accept what is, love and bless everyone and everything as you discover new methods of staying focused within yourself, tending to your own life and growth, while allowing others the same courtesy.

The distractions and interactions with others actually support your continued growth, if you increasingly approach all these things in love, and training your attention to focus on the sacred divinity of all things, while focusing on that which is good, beautiful, and loving.

Your Life is the Result of the Choices You Make

If you look around you, your life is the result of the choices you make, the friends you have, your income level, the home you live in, the amount of happiness you enjoy every day, all are a perfect match to you and your vibration.

Your life is the result of the choices you make. You might not always get what you want, but you always get what you’ve invited or created. Your life presents you with everything you need for your personal, professional, and spiritual growth. Always perfectly matched.

You may reject this idea on the surface, thinking, “That’s not true, I want more.” Even this wanting of something different, something more, is a perfect match for you. These desires feel like you wanting something else, but it’s really something else which wants to reveal itself to you. All of the things you want are already there, waiting to present themselves to you.

Your wanting has already manifested all the desires of your heart. Everything you’ve ever wanted is already there, not far off, waiting for you to become a vibrational match for it, then it will be revealed to you in all its fullest capacity.

Do you want a better life? It is there. A better car, education, social network, lover, friends, cash flow, whatever you strongly desire, it is already yours. Only one thing stands between you and everything you want, and that thing is you.

Your life is the result of the choices you make which set the tone of your vibration. You cannot have what you want if you don’t change your vibration, to become a better match for that which you seek.

Now, you can, with your determination, persistence, and through the strength of your own flesh cause certain things in your life to be had through strain and struggle. When you get what you want through brute force, those things you desire will satisfy your longing for a moment, but this satisfaction will fade quickly, leaving you to want something more, and you may not be able to sustain the having of it without some stress or difficulty.

When you are a vibrational match for something and it manifests itself to you, there is a peace and calm that comes with the having of it. You know it was always there, and you were the recipient of it at the perfect time in the perfect place.

You must start to change the choices you make in life to affect your life in such a way that your life changes, becomes a better match to what your heart is calling you to, if you want to see everything you want to come to you naturally and easily. That’s how to get what you want.

By not making new choices, and making the changes necessary to change your vibration, you will see the same old life presenting itself to you, over and over again. Endless cycles of dissatisfaction and all your best efforts to make your life appear to be everything you want will not satisfy, ever.

Every day, you are presented with opportunities to make a new choice that will change your vibration and your life. When you choose based on your current vibration, your life stays the same. Your vibration is affirmed and strengthened.

When you are presented with the opportunity to make a new choice, and you make your normal choice, that opportunity is removed from your potentiality. Don’t go chasing after it. It’s too late. A new opportunity will present itself, and it will be even better for you, offering you even more of what you want as you raise your vibration to love and above.

Make a new choice and instantly your vibration changes to match your new choice. Keep making new choices and you change your vibration. The more you establish your new vibration the more your life changes to match your new vibration.

This is the process of your growth leading to evolution and expansion which will cause the desires of your heart to appear to you in divine order, without stress, strain, or dissatisfaction.

Your new life is waiting for you to step into it.

Make a new choice today, do something different, and your life changes accordingly.

Repurpose Your LIfe

I know a great many people who repurpose all kinds of things, taking something that would otherwise be thought of as refuse turned into something of function, value, even art. So it is with your life. If your life has been routine, mundane, meaningless, or ready for the trash heap, don’t bail just yet. The time has come for you to repurpose your life.

Often repurposing a thing takes effort and attention. The result is something of value which is worth more than the raw components used to create something new from something old.

There was a time when the trend was to create everything to not last long. You would buy it, then throw it into the trash without a thought of it. This trend has led us to live a disposable lifestyle. To throw out anything which has outlived the short life which it was intended for.

This disposable lifestyle is not only counterproductive, it is destructive and unsustainable.

If you can break your trance long enough to become aware of your surroundings, you will find people who are scouring the Internet, thrift, antique, and pawn shops, eBay and Craig’s List for hidden treasures from the past which can be repaired, reconfigured, or enjoyed in their current state as a cherished, valuable, and functional purpose.

To apply this trend to your life is a thought which is not far off. You can look at your life and think, “My life has no purpose,” or, “I have nothing to offer the world,” then to think of yourself as disposable. Left by yourself in this state of mind, your body will begin to accept this as your reality and you will find yourself in premature deterioration.

Where is the happiness in a life which is not valued? If you’re in a state of self-devaluation, maybe a stop outside yourself will help you to see how valuable you really are, and with a little intention, attention, and work, a new you can emerge enabling you to live a better life.

Take a look around. Are you stuck in a rut? Is the work that you do day-in/day-out satisfying? Are you achieving a sense of accomplishment from the life you’re living? Could you be making more of a contribution to someone close to you or, serving the local community?

If you can agree your life can use a little repurposing, you might consider asking yourself,

What changes can you make to live a better life?

Whatever you are doing that drains your energy, or does not resonate with that higher part of yourself and doesn’t make you feel good, stop doing it, and make the changes in your life which would be necessary to replace it with something that makes you feel good about yourself and what you’re doing.

When you’re considering embarking on this journey of repurposing yourself, be mindful of what makes you feel good and do more of that. Ask yourself,

What makes your heart sing?

What are those things which bring you joy? Find ways to integrate more of these into your life.

After you start this process of repurposing your life, you can imagine a renewed sense of purpose, possibly living out your best life, affecting the lives of others and our environment, in effect, making the world a better place.

Spirituality and Churches

As government continues to grow in strength and power, ever expanding, creating new ways to control the masses by brute force, creating new laws, monitoring and tracking our every move in an effort to make citizens comply, or fear punishment, those who are spiritually-inclined are expanding also.

Freedom of religion in the United States has afforded us the ability to have a particularly influential role in the making of a better world for those of us who hold to the idea of a brighter future for our children, their children, and generations to follow.

We pray for a better life and a better world. People who live in the United States pray more than in any other nation, and even those who profess that there is no God, even 20 percent of those can be found in the practice of prayer.

Among the medical community, the effect of prayer for healing and recovery is unrefuted, even though it may be disregarded as “placebo effect” in study after study (even double-blind studies) the results are exemplary.

Churches have the most powerful impetus for change of the human condition. Every day the less-than-desirables in the United States, the criminals, those who helplessly succumb to addictions, abusers (both legal and illegal), and other problematic members of society incredibly change their lives with the least amount of recidivism thanks to American churches.

Churches make the world a better place by reaching out to the disadvantaged, giving them a reason to live and encourage even the least of us to reach out and help to make the world a better place.

Thanks to churches, we see the reduction in crime, divorce rates, poverty, homelessness, drug and other addictions, depression and other mental health issues.

Churchgoers have a higher sense of obligation to do that which is right, self-esteem, achievement among family members, and greater contribution to the community at large. They are more proactive, have happier, healthier families, increased immune systems, and greater life expectancy.

Spiritually-minded individuals who profess a sincere connection to a higher power that does not forsake the regular assembly of like-minded people (regular church attendance) live happier, more productive, law-abiding lives, are more understanding, compassionate and loving of themselves and others.

The statistics express markedly and exponentially higher degrees of success and satisfaction in all areas of life between those who attend or gather together three times a month over those who gather once a month or less.

Many of us spiritually-minded Americans who are ever-evolving into higher versions of ourselves may have negative associations connected to the idea of church or recognized religious gathering. The time has come for us to embrace the idea of religious freedom as part of the expansion of our consciousness.

Spiritual growth need not be a solitary journey. As we know there is greater growth and more power for a better world when we combine our abilities with other like-minded people on a similar path.

We must ever be cognoscente about proceeding with such an idea in caution to prevent the interruption of our efforts by an oppressive ruling government.

Even though the founders of our country protected freedom of religion by declaring “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” in the First Amendment to the Constitution, effectively establishing a separation between church and State, since then, there have been attempts to integrate the church and state, giving government the final say in certain affairs of the church.

The primary method to control the church was for the United States to offer the deduction of financial contributions for exemption from tax debt owed to the IRS via registration of the church by filing as a non-profit 501(c)(3) status. Churches volunteer to do so to increase the financial support of their members, but also become a corporation in the United States, clearly aborting the separation of their church from the state.

A church as a non-profit organization of the United States of America achieves the status of a state-recognized licensed church. Doing so may waive its freedom of religion, ability to remain separate from the state, and allows government intrusion.

You can see it in action, churches being violated, shut down, priests, pastors, preachers, and teachers being forced to testify in court, violating the penitent privilege. Churches, which may have otherwise been considered as “sanctuary” are now subject to having their perimeters breached in the name of the state, and so many compromises made by voluntarily making a deal with the state.

Is there a better way?

If you can look around your community and not find a church which would welcome an expansion explorer, as yourself, maybe its time to create such a venue.

Could you be a part of this spiritual awakening and expansion?

Let your church be the antithesis of all those other churches.

It is your privilege, and your responsibility, after a time of healing, if you are so-called. You might be the key to providing a safe environment for others to find themselves, do their own deep inner work, in any way they see fit while being loved and supported by others doing similarly individual work.

My wish for you, for all of us, is that there is a church where any one of us would feel welcomed, supported, without fear of not being accepted or threatened, nearby.

This is the next step.

Feeling Bad About Negative Feelings

It’s okay to feel bad. Sometimes, the motivation to be positive or to consistently be a good influence on those around you can make you feel like you cannot allow your positive persona to be interrupted by feeling negative. If you do have negative feelings, you might like to cover it up or push it down, and for god’s sake don’t let anyone see your emotional falter because you wouldn’t want anyone to misinterpret any upset in your powerful baseline as weakness.

Are you a human being? Don’t you think others might be able to feel closer to you if you occasionally allow your humanity to show through? You are not a deity. You are a man or a woman making your own way through this life, just like anyone else. Yes, you want to remain positive, but you don’t want to separate yourself from the rest of humanity so much that you are no longer a member of the human race.

There are few cases in history where the attempt to do so wasn’t met with severe emotional conflict. A mentor of mine used to say, “Don’t become so spiritually-minded that you’re no earthly good.” Be in the world but not of the world. In essence being here but also maintaining a residence elsewhere simultaneously.

Here, amidst humanity, we all express a wide range of emotions, and you must find a way (or ways) to express these emotions. To not do so is a denial of the human condition, and your psychology and physiology will deteriorate, health will decline, and you may put yourself at risk of disease, psychotic breakdown, rapid aging, or a premature exit from the human condition altogether.

Yes, being positive and maintaining high vibrational states is preferred. St. Paul encourages us to fix our thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. To think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8) which is integral to the maintenance of higher vibrations of the power of love.

You must also allow for the natural ebb and flow of life, especially if you intend to grow because the greatest growth spurts take place in the time of struggle, when things appear to not be going so well. You need both the good and the bad to move to the next level, sometimes more than others.

This complexity in life gives us the ability to enjoy all the richness this life has to offer. This contrast, as Esther Hicks says, “knowing what you don’t want helps you to know what you do want.” This is the balance of life, enabling you to know what it is that you want less of and what you desire more of in your life. You, then, can make the necessary adjustments in your life accordingly.

Your intention to remain so positive can keep you from seeing potential obstacles or danger. It is prudent to keep one foot on the ground, aware of your surroundings in the “real world” to avoid finding yourself in an undesirable predicament, or to find yourself falling into complacency.

Adversity leads you into growth, allowing you to come to increased clarity about what you want, empowering you to delineate specific goal for further advancement and achievement. In essence, being able to squeeze all the best juiciness out of all this life has to offer, all thanks to those less than desirable moments in this life.

A natural emotional response to not feeling right, or having negative emotions, might be to reject these feeling or to push them away but they are really an attention-getting pique to your awareness if instead, you start to look within, rather than to become defensive.

Since these feelings are in contrast to what you want, it is an exciting opportunity to break your positive flow, which is just comfortable enough that you can glide unaware of your surroundings, in a kind of sacred trance. This interruption can break your state or being just enough to look for new opportunities for potential alternative exploration, growth, or expansion.

The more you push against a thought with your consciousness, the more it expands in your unconscious mind, where the lower vibration undermines your ability to remain in higher vibrations in the background. This is why the Law of Attraction doesn’t care whether you want a thing or don’t want a thing. It is attracted to you whether you want it or not.

It’s like telling yourself not to think of a lemon. The more you resist a thought, the more apparent it becomes either consciously or unconsciously. This is also the nature of nightmares, where your unconscious mind runs rampant, unbridled by your conscious mind’s ability to squash your thoughts.

There is wisdom in inviting and allowing the negativity to flow over you, even to allow yourself to be fully engulfed by negative emotion for a predetermined period of time. In a sense surrendering to it in an effort to fully feel it. After fully expressed, you can examine the source, or look around for new opportunities which may be trying to expose themselves to your awareness.

In some cases, just letting it out and letting it go is all that is necessary.

Looking within yourself when your regular flow of life is interrupted by negative emotions might be the door through which you must pass to become aware of some lingering deep inner work longing to be addressed.

You might want to find or create a safe space or the company of another who will hold the sacred space for your expression of these negative emotions without fear of judgment.

Embrace the fullness of life, the good, the bad, and the potential for change, growth, exploration, and expansion.

An amazing journey lies ahead.

Your Shadow Self

There is a deep dark you hidden deep within yourself which is devout in the protection of your self and will stop at nothing to prevent you from living your best life because to do so would put you at risk. Your shadow self protects from exposing yourself to potential failure, pain, sadness, longsuffering and grief, and in doing so actually blocks you from experiencing true love, health, wellness, and ultimate happiness.

Hidden from you by your shadow self are all the negative life moments you have experienced, so as not to hinder you’re being able to face tomorrow. Associated with all these dark moments are litanous associated programs which run silently in your unconscious to prevent you from being at risk of future negative physical or emotional impact.

While these systems have been accumulating for years unchecked for validity, they continue to perceive threat and trigger your fight or flight sensations, even if there is no apparent threat in the current reality or real world in the moment, or possibly ever.

Debbie Ford

Which reminds me of Debbie Ford’s shadow work, for which she is renowned, and she insists that within each trauma hidden by your shadow self, there is a sacred truth which if dealt with through her shadow process will contain an enlightening treasure which will empower you to realize exponential positivity and personal power.

Profound wisdom is hidden within your shadow self and these treasures are the keys which unlock all the best things this life has to offer.

Let’s say you want something deeply which seems to elude you, like massive success or long-lasting romantic love (or anything else your heart desires). While you may desire these things with all your heart, your shadow self is there to protect you from the potential pain associated with exposure to the risks which would be necessary to achieve the results you desire.

On the surface, in a therapist’s office or as noticeable by you or your friends this might look like self-sabotage, but it is your shadow self, hard at work, preventing you from being exposed to potential pain or loss.

Debbie Ford insists that within the darkness of your shadow self, you will find the key to unlock your strength, your happiness, and your ability to live out your dreams.

In order to enjoy all the best things of life with all its possibilities, you must be vulnerable, and vulnerability is the enemy of your shadow self.

Carl Jung

Carl Jung, who introduces us to our shadows, suggested that our maximum potential could be realized by making peace and standing in the middle between, “his shadow and his light simultaneously.” In effect seeing yourself from both sides.

Yet, due to the excellent abilities of your shadow self to keep you from seeing that you, as well as the rest of us suffering from the human condition, are a mixed bag of contradictions.

For instance, it is highly likely that the things you dislike the most are actually a part of who you are, though you are unable to see it, as these details about yourself are so effectively hidden from your conscious mind by your shadow self.

Delving into the secrets hidden within your shadow self is part and parcel of the deep inner work which you may choose to encounter if you are to truly have the ability to achieve your highest and best in this life.

It’s Time for Me to Leave My Partner

Yes, no doubt, you’re feeling like you can’t take one more minute and that, “It’s time for me to leave my partner.” It may be well to call it quits if your relationship is completely dysfunctional and filled with abuse, then, by all means, you have to do what you have to do. But you might be jumping the gun if you feel like your connection is waning, you’re feeling like you have less and less in common every day, you’re feeling like you and your partner are growing apart on different paths, and if you’re just not feeling the love anymore, then you might be thinking, “It’s time for me to leave my partner.”

When nothing could be further from the truth.

In most cases, when two people are feeling like they are growing apart and feeling like calling it quits, this could be the worst thing you could do, if you are on an expansive path of personal growth and/or a progressive spiritual journey.

On the surface, that sounds whacked, but you must know that this feeling between two people is a marker, a huge blinking neon sign that begs you to, “Dare to Love More!” This feeling is the gateway through which you must pass to make it to the next level in your love vibration.

It is very likely that you and your partner are not as far apart as you might think, only that you are expressing yourselves in different ways, which should be celebrated, not eradicated.

Sure, your growth and expansion may look different, but you are both growing, changing, and expanding together, even though you might be using different distinctions, words, and phrases in an effort to communicate your expansion one to the other.

Let’s say the woman loves to practice meditation and yoga, while the man would rather play a team sport and also engage in watching team sports on television. You might think this to be an incredible mismatch.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Even though the symptoms look quite different, and the words and phrases sound very different, both members of this relationship can actually be growing in spirit and truth even though it looks quite different.

You might be surprised to know that team sports are very spiritual, and when athletes are engaged in team sports, they often get themselves into a spiritual state commonly referred to as “The Zone.” In this state, the brains of the teammates can co-create, communicate and access source energy, not unlike one might in meditation, prayer or in a group spiritual practice. This state of spiritual elevation is the same, though it looks very different, and it was accessed in very different ways.

When you are feeling as though things are getting difficult, or not feeling right, this is a clear indication not to look at your mate, to blame your partner, or look at your relationship as deteriorating. No, this is your sacred challenge to look inside yourself and realize this is a divine invitation to dare to love more and expand yourself.

If you feel as though your partner is annoying you, or up to no good, ask yourself why you feel that way?

The highest form of love is unconditional love, which usurps, “I love you no matter what.” Could you dare to entertain the idea of loving your partner unconditionally? This is your true calling. This is what this life is all about.

But it doesn’t start with your partner. In fact, it has nothing to do with your partner at all, except for your partner is provided to you as a tool, a mirror, reflecting back those areas where you have unresolved issues with you. Again,

Why do I feel that way?

Why does this or that drive you crazy?

If you’re doing meditation and yoga, it’s because this is necessary for you to grow and expand. It is clear that your partner doesn’t need to do those things. Your partner is managing his or her growth and expansion in a completely different way, and that’s okay.

It’s likely your partner has been trying to tell you this over a period of time but you’ve been able to understand him or her due to the variance in vocabulary. It’s as if you’re saying the same thing but in different languages, it’s no wonder it was difficult for you to understand, though the misunderstanding is understandable.

Maybe it’s time to listen with your heart and not be so quick to pass judgment. In fact, to do so would be hypocrisy. No one path is more right or wrong than another, and to suggest that your partner must grow, expand and express him or herself in the same manner as you is nothing less than spiritual arrogance.

There are many ways to achieve connection, you must allow everyone to find their own way and not condemn them for doing it in the manner which suits them best at any particular time and place.

Your divine mission of love is to love yourself first, then to the degree that you are able to love yourself, you can love others. You must love yourself for who you are, all your weakness, idiosyncrasies, all your missteps, and failure, as well as all your gifts, talents, and strengths.

Your challenge is to grow in love, to love yourself unconditionally, then, and only then, will you be able to love your partner, and others unconditionally.

You love, and allow them to be free, free to be whoever they may be, freely expressing themselves in the world which is perfect and different for each and every human being on this planet.

If you dare.

Growing It Alone

It can get lonely when you’re growing it alone.

You are courageously in the process of doing some advanced inner work few others could fully understand. This is deep inner work that would frighten anyone else if they could even allow themselves to conceive of taking on such a task.

You need to be able to carve out a little safe space in your social matrix as well as in your mind and your heart where you can be honest and open with how you’re feeling about this process and the road that you’re on. There might not be anyone else, no other person in your social circle, who could understand what you’re going through or how you’re feeling, but you are there.

You can, and need to be, honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. You had felt so connected to the thoughts and ideals which gave you a false sense of security, but still, you felt safe, surrounded by other people who felt the same way. Now that you’re in a state of metamorphosis, evolving, and shedding your socialized skin, it’s completely normal to feel like you’re all alone or frightened of the unknown from time to time. You might even feel like abandoning your decision to allow yourself to evolve and continue growing into a higher version of yourself altogether, and go back the familiar, the way things were.

It’s okay to have these feelings. We, all of us do, anytime we embark on a journey leading to something new. When we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory, we long for home. It’s a normal, natural part of growth. Honor the past with a sense of nostalgia, there were good times. Times when you felt safe and secure, and things weren’t quite as scary; remember them. It is good to let yourself reflect back on the good things in life.

Your mind is a very active machine, left to its own devices, it’s bound to come up with all kinds of ways to distract you from anything your growing heart consciousness might have in mind. You might think that people you once felt close too are rejecting you and your decision to choose this growth and advancement, but more likely they are secretly admiring your courage to attempt such a thing that they themselves would not have the courage or the wherewithal to do. So, they sit back in the shadows, secretly hoping that you will continue this journey, breaking out and breaking through. If you don’t make it and come back to your former life, they will be there to welcome you back and console you, but there will be a part of them that secretly hoped you would have made it. Because if you had, it would mean there is still hope for them.

Even in your relationship…

If you’re in a romantic relationship with someone, don’t make assumptions about what he or she might be thinking about your growth process. Create a safe place where the two of you can connect and you can talk openly about your adventures in growth. Even if he or she doesn’t fully understand, they should have an appreciation for the work you’re doing. Let your partner know that your growth and expansion is not threatening the relationship. It would be a normal concern that your lives may be leading in totally different directions, but it doesn’t mean the end of your relationship. In fact, it can make your relationship far better than either of you could imagine, because as you change, your relationship changes, too, without any extended effort on your part. It is a natural law.

As your relationship changes, staying connected, open and honest with your partner is paramount, if your relationship is to survive. Your expansion may call for changes to the patterns you previously contacted to sustain. These may be unhealthy or incongruent with your new life. So, without judgment or ridicule, simply being honest and open and renegotiating the parameters of your old relationship style will lead to growth and expansion of your relationship.

In this safe, heart-to-heart place, feel free to share your feelings, and encourage your partner to do likewise. And when your partner speaks, listen attentively. Let your partner ask questions, and answer them as best you can. Don’t compare you in your growth process to your partner’s. This is not a competition and no one has superiority over the other in this space. You are always equal, each doing the best you can with what you have, and you can remain as “one” throughout your journeys.

If you’re having trouble communicating, it’s okay (if not advised) to seek out third-party assistance to avoid losing the connection with your partner. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to join with you to speak to clergy, a counselor, therapist or coach in an effort to find ways to work it out.

And in the event that you do end up growing apart, continue to love and bless each other as you both continue your separate journeys. Plus, you never know, sometimes people who have taken separate routes end up at the same location. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. You might be surprised one day to look over and find your partner standing right next to you. It happens.

No one knows, better than you, even if you’re feeling lonely, you are never alone.