The Power of Oh Well and Not Caring Too Much

One of my mentors has a specific mantra that protects her from all things that might otherwise be frustrating or stressful. I told her she should write the book and teach her technique all over the world (if she does write the book, please think about picking up a copy for yourself to learn how…),

She has mastered the art of, “Oh well.”

She has associated her state of being to go to a calm and peaceful state any time she utters the words, “Oh well.” So, when she starts to feel a drop in her vibrational frequency, if she is able she utters the words, which immediately takes her to her safe place.

While this is an extremely effective way of centering herself in seconds, the effect on anyone else within proximity may not see the benefit and may even be offended by her ability to not engage in the proposed negative vibration or thought pattern.

How often do you see, hear or read about disturbing news that makes you feel bad?

How often do you report your negative findings to someone else?

Why do you do it?

Because when you feel bad about something you’ve just learned about, you have taken on the emotional weight of the bad news, lowering your vibration. You want to get rid of some of the emotional weight in an effort to raise your vibration, so you don’t feel so bad. You do this by reporting the unsettling information to someone else. If they feel bad about what you have presented to them, you feel better, because you have effectively transferred some of the weight of your negative emotional weight to the person you’ve told and you feel better.

When you’ve met someone who doesn’t take the emotional weight that you’re trying to ride yourself of by feeling badly, this doesn’t make you feel any better, and you are likely to take offense to their not receiving your negative vibration. In this case, you might even plead your case reinforcing your negative vibration about the bad news in an effort to convince the other person to feel obligated to feel bad about the negative news you’re trying to release.

If this person is positively resilient (like my mentor) you are likely to feel worse about the negative news, because you’ve sunk to a lower vibrational level in your attempt to convince the other person how bad this news is. This makes you feel hurt or angry and want to strike back at this positively resilient person who refuses to compromise his or her vibration. If you don’t say it, you’re likely to think that this person is an insensitive or uncaring individual. And if you’ve said something to that effect out loud to someone like my mentor, you may get a response, something like, “I care, but not too much,” which reinforces their positive position, and doesn’t offer you much comfort because they still are refusing to join you in your misery.

That said, a better approach is for you to not get so agitated, upset and angry at bad news to which you are exposed. This variety of negatively impacting data you are exposed to can be anything from your own personal experiences of being victimized and pent up frustrations about work-related or social injustices to watching the news or worrying about something you have little or no control of. Letting these things build up inside you will drain your personal resources, lower your vibration, and left untended to may lead to frustration, anger, feelings of helplessness, depression and possibly even suicidal thoughts.

What can you do about it?

You can take full responsibility for your own mental state, like my mentor does, by controlling how you feel about anything you are exposed to. Another thing you could do is to purposefully not expose yourself to undesirable information about things over which you could not possibly have any control over. Not submitting your emotional state to negative influences, can be as easy as turning off the TV, or especially avoiding the CNN (Constantly Negative News) feed.

There are other activities you can engage in that will support your vibrational state positively. Doing so will raise your emotional vibration and also your quality of life.
You can raise your vibration by learning how to find an emotional state of peace using relaxation techniques or meditation. Getting out, taking a walk or engaging in a bit of exercise for as little as seventeen minutes will raise your vibration and make you feel better.

Being mindful about the food and nutrients you are putting in your body will help maintain your positive personal natural resources, increasing your immune system and giving you the raw materials to respond better to stressful influences.

Pay attention to your emotional state, review how you are feeling, and if you’re not feeling on your game, take time out to make yourself feel better by engaging in an activity you enjoy or puts you in a more positive vibration.

If you’re feeling down, stressful, or sense your vibration sinking, put your hand on your heart, focus your attention on the area of your heart and take slow deep breaths as you imagine your breath going in and out of your heart, for seventeen seconds. This will help to center you emotionally and allow you to have a better perspective by neutralizing your otherwise negative emotional state.

When someone tries to unload their negative crap on you, learn to shrug it off with a little, “Oh well.” And if they protest, back it up with a bit of, “I care, but not too much,” and enjoy the benefits of your new heightened emotional state, and
Be happy.

Am I Too Stressed Out?

I think we all can agree that stress is not a good thing, yet we all seem to be exposed to it, and some of us give a great deal of attention and dedication to stress, and for these people they will have short, potentially miserable lives, with a long bucket list of items they regret having not attended to.

Even though we are all subject to stress, there is a spectrum of response to stress, with extremes on either end. On the one side there are those who simply shrug off any potential of stress and it has little or no effect on them. On the other end of the spectrum, are victims of stress who surrender to all the overpowering negative influence of stress to subject them to suffering and depression, leading to the demolition of the autoimmune system and a shorter lifespan.

The struggle and strain associated with just trying to get by, can be too much stress for the average human being to sustain a long life, and certainly keeping any hope of fulfillment or happiness at bay.

I don’t know if anyone is immune to stress, for there is situational stress which is the result of circumstances which have placed someone amidst and whirlwind of incongruent thoughts about a particular situation that significantly challenges a previously tightly held belief, or instant radical change in lifestyle. This is considered short-term stress, because it represents a specific moment in time which is not prolonged, but like being subject to a gun-shot, grenade, or a bomb, the exposure to the stress is certainly short-term, but the post traumatic stress associated with this single act, can have long reaching implications if one suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which can have far-reaching life-long negative effects on both the psychological and physiological health of such a victim.

Nonetheless, there is a general consensus among our peers, that if you are a victim of a situational circumstance exposing you to what would be short-term stress; you should just get over it, and move on. To people who subscribe to this category of thought, they believe the damaging effect of stress should be limited to the exposure to the stressor. For instance, if you were hit in a crosswalk by a drunk driver, the specific incident was brief, and would certainly subject you to stress. As a victim of this incident, you are allowed a reasonable time to recover from your injuries and the stress associated with this unfortunate event. Six to nine months is considered reasonable. Any pain or suffering beyond this time period is regarded as potential mental illness.

This is a disrespectful pile of crap. We are all different and we all deal with stress in different ways. This should be respected, and for someone on one end of the spectrum to mock someone else on the other end of the spectrum is not only immature and disrespectful, it defines you as barbaric, and void of human empathy.

Long-term stress (where the victimization or suffering has taken place over a prolonged period of time) is honored with more time to recover, recognizing the acute nature of being subjected to the stress over time affecting both one’s body and mind. This expanded exposure to stress can allow a disproportionate amount of anxiety, loss of self-esteem, depression, paranoia, and potential panic attacks. Though extra time is allotted for recovery, it is not proportionate to the allowance of recovery ratio bestowed upon short-term stress victims.

Stress Exposure Recovery
Short Term Minutes, Hours, Days 6 to 9 months
Long Term Years 1 year

It’s easy for someone on one end of the stress reaction scale to insensitively accuse someone on the other end of the scale of being “weak,” because they would just shrug it off as “no big deal”, or from the other end, “insensitive,” because to think the very incident which was considered as no big deal, would have been devastating to someone one the other end of the scale.

There are certain indications that you are experiencing the effects of stress in your life, which might indicate the need to take countermeasures to find a more healthy balance in your life, they include

  • Dry mouth
  • Clammy or shaking hands
  • Discomfort of pain in the area of your stomach
  • Attaining a calm state of peace is not likely possible
  • Changes in body temperature, from hot and sweat to chills
  • You’re feeling as though your head is being squeezed in a vice
  • You feel your energy levels are declining as motivation dissipates
  • Challenges with focusing on daily routines, or interactive communication
  • Itchy skin (or more severely, feeling like bugs are crawling beneath your skin)
  • There is a foreboding, ominous sense of something being very wrong looming over you
  • A feeling as though you’re experience a difference in heart reaction, i.e., slowing or speeding of heartbeat or beating harder or softer than normal
  • You experience sleepless nights, kept awake by relentless disconnected thinking, even though you are tired
  • If you manage to get a good night’s sleep according to the clock, you wake more tired than you were before going to bed
  • Activities and things that once made you feel good no longer do

These are just a few of the common indicators of stress getting an inordinate grip on you, and should have you thinking about finding ways to de-stress, and or start paying attention enough to consider trying to live a more stress-free lifestyle.

There is no dishonor in reaching out to someone who is equipped to help you on this part of your journey. We all need a helping hand sometime.

You are loved, and a brighter future is waiting for you. Your life has meaning and the world needs you, now more than ever. Do not let stress keep you from achieving your highest and best as well as receiving all this life is waiting to give to you.

Counter Selfless Disregard and Burnout

You’re a giver. You know that more often than not, you will put the needs of others ahead of your needs. You see yourself as a helper, someone who helps others to have a better quality of life. You’ve been maintaining a frantic pace and you are doing your part to make the world a better place. If anyone needs, anything, they know who to call on in their time of need: You. You answer the call and save the day once again, and there is a degree of satisfaction from helping others, but what about you?

You’d like to think you have an endless reserve of energy to call upon at any time to meet the needs of others. You keep pushing forward, you’re helping everyone you can, and they don’t even know difficult it is for you to follow through and “be there” for everyone else.

You might not even giving much thought to changes happening inside your body because your energy has been running low and your body begins to cannibalize itself to provide you with the energy you need to continue to help the people who have come to depend upon you.

You may (or may not) have noticed certain changes, such as difficulties associated with your digestive system, you might be experiencing headaches more often than in the past, you might be grinding your teeth or seeing a rise in blood pressure.

It’s as if your life force is draining from your body, you’re noticing that you’re feeling a lack of energy and feeling overwhelmed with fatigue. You’re not feeling well about yourself, feeling hopeless, powerless and/or resentful.

The satisfaction you once felt in helping others no longer satisfies and you’re starting to feel as though you are merely existing as you continue to help others even though you’re wondering if you’re just going through the motions. You’re not getting out as much as you used to, you’re beginning to withdraw from others, and life, in general. This whole life which used to be so meaningful for you, feels more like a prison these days.

As you continue to run out of fuel, you are becoming more susceptible to heart problems, heart attack and stroke.

Your inner force needs tending to, if ignored long enough, your energy dwindles and there may not be enough juice left to sustain your basic function. Your flame, you, your body, mind and spirit are literally burning out. I suppose that’s why we refer to this state as, “burnout.”

Stress is a key contributor to burnout. When all our systems (body, mind, soul) are operating at peak performance, we are invincible. Stress has little effect on us as we cast it aside. But if you’re constantly giving more than you receive, or do not take care to re-charge your systems, you develop a deficit. And if neglected long enough, you will suffer the results of burnout.

Stress left to itself can take its toll on you, though there are some of us who can withstand a great deal of stress over time and not be affected much. But these very same heroic individuals are susceptible to burnout, and if or when they do, they are ill-equipped to recoil or respond appropriately. They fall victim to emotional fatigue, which promotes negativity, and they begin to spiral down in the shadow of burnout’s decay.

As your system deteriorates, you will notice areas of your life that were easily and naturally manageable becoming more and more problematic, affecting your professional life as well as affecting areas of your personal life as well, including interpersonal relationships. You might start feeling as though you don’t have anything in common with anyone and begin to withdraw from social interactions and intimate relationships as well.

If you are potentially amidst this sinking whirlpool dragging you down, you’re probably not as mindful about what you eat, nutrition, or exercise. And it’s likely, you’re not getting enough rest.

So what can you do?

Do what you can. Definitely, if you see signs of burnout in yourself (or someone else) take a quick inventory and fix what can easily be addressed. Seek to eat better and integrate more healthy foods in your diet. Start finding ways to incorporate physical fitness, walk, jog, go to the gym, do something. And start going to bed earlier and get some good sleep. This will start to rebuild your energy reserves.

Take it upon yourself to start finding ways to relax and deal with anxieties and situational stress.

Let’s face it, without the basic elemental fuel, your body will wear down and so will the rest of you. You have to take the responsibility for ensuring you, your body, spirit, and soul are tended to. Don’t let your physiological, intellectual, social and spiritual parts of you wither and die.

This is a good time for a checkup with your doctor for a complete physical battery.

It might also be apropos to consider taking a time out for a brief sabbatical to ready yourself for your triumphant return and resuming your powerful heroic performance.

Anxiety Depression Fear

For the most part anxiety, depression and the myriad diagnoses and symptoms that accompany these maladies are all fear-based. Granted, fear is a necessary survival instinct that helps to keep us alive and enables us to have a heightened sense of awareness when danger is present or the need for self-protection is imminent. On the other hand, when fear gets out of balance, anxiety symptoms and depression symptoms escalate creating disorders that can greatly affect our lives.

The therapeutic treatment community is doing their very best to keep up with all these anxiety disorders that are increasing at an alarming rate within the various ranks of our society. Categorization and labeling of specific symptoms has helped mental health professionals to define certain disorders and drug experimentation has been helpful in mitigating the damages (or subduing the symptoms) so as to offer a sense of normalcy to those afflicted with these fear-based ailments.

anxiety depression agoraphobia ptsd ocd panic attack

Some of the most prominent classifications include General Anxiety Disorder and its shirt-tailed cousins, Agoraphobia, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Panic Disorder, Social Phobia (as well as all other types of phobias, like fear of enclosed spaces, heights, large bodies of water, spiders, snakes, etc…), Acute Stress Disorder, Substance Induced Disorder and a number of variation and combinations as unique as each individual patient.

Then there are the depression disorders, like Bipolar disorder, Manic depression, Melancholia, Major depressive disorder, Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), Clinical depression, Dysthymic disorder, Psychotic depression, Cyclothymic disorder and Unipolar depression plus an unlimited hodgepodge of mixed anxiety-depression to make things even more complicated.

Are You Anxious or Depressed?

With the growth of these fear-based disorders, chances are you suffer from some form of anxiety or depression (which all of us do to some degree), but either you or someone you know suffers from an above-normal anxiety or depression level and you know things are just not right.

What Can You Do About It?

First off, seek help; a qualified third-party to help you discover a proper diagnosis and some intermediary intervention, because left to itself increasing levels of anxiety and depression can lead to suicide, one of the most escalating causes of premature death in the United States today.

That said, as soon as you are able to get a grip, take time for introspection. Either alone or with the help of a counselor, you can find out what the source of your anxiety and/or depression is and deal with it.

Finding inner peace through meditation, mindfulness and disengaging the painful neurological connections in your brain by using tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) or other psychological pain interventions can be highly effective modalities in helping to achieve a safe emotional place of self-centered being.

You are the master of your own fate. Increase self-confidence and take control of your life. You can – even in the most challenging life circumstances – find peace, harmony and happiness from within, living an enthusiastic life, giving you the ability to achieve your highest and best.

When you allow yourself to suffer the symptoms of anxiety and/or depression, your personal vibration acts as a powerful magnet attracting more and more negative life circumstances. Don’t close yourself off from others. Only by centering yourself and living a happy life (though probably faking it, at first), get out in public, put on a smile, greet people (even if only the clerk at the store, at first) looking and acting as if you are happy, will eventually help you feel better.

Finding any way to make you feel better is doctor’s orders. If it feels good to spend time with friends, be out in nature or go to a comedy club, whatever… Do that; then do more and more of those things that make you feel good.

Practice stress reduction techniques, such as mindfulness meditation or aerobic exercise. Shift your focus to the positive emotions in your daily life. Work to identify meaning and purpose in your life. Get support from others. Go for a walk or run in a park.

You Can Do This

You can conquer anxiety and depression and ultimately live a stress-free and happy life, if you learn how to relieve stress and are ready to get back in the driver’s seat of your best life, create an alternate route and begin your new journey to the destination of your choice.

Do not let these feelings and inner voices devour you. You have all the tools necessary to deal with this and get you back on your feet.