Alone and Suicidal on Christmas

There I was alone in my bed in the fetal position in my bed. I had suffered so much loss, buried my stepson, watched my family break apart, suffered financial loss, attacked by people I loved and adored, non-physical entities, as well as predatory psychopaths, which left me feeling hopeless and helpless in this, my darkest hour. I had never felt so alone and suicidal on Christmas as I had in that moment.

I had planned the steps necessary to take my own life in a clean and quiet manner, in such a way as to not make a spectacle or leave behind a mess for anyone to clean up, knowing that it would be a while before anyone found my body.

I’d spent a lifetime helping others with their mental health issues as they’d sought me out for support along their path to achieving their highest and best. I’d been a student of the therapeutic sciences. Up until this time, I had only a background in Pastoral Counseling, Christian Therapeutic Sciences, and mastered Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnotherapy, as I dabbled in other modalities. I thought the more tools I had, the better assistance I could offer my clients. I had huge success in working with others using prayer and meditation.

I had a good life, full of treasures and traumas, and had experienced the entire spectrum of experiences this life had to offer. I felt that I had lived more life than the average person up until this point, so it wouldn’t be like I’d be missing anything. I had made a positive impact on the lives of people I’d counseled and trained, which meant that whatever energy I’d passed onto them would survive and continue to serve the world in my absence.

I felt as though I’d done the best I could, and could not see any way to recover from my current state of affairs. I was hurt, desolate, exhausted, and felt as if I had nothing left to give. I knew the holiday season was a time for increased suicide, and now, I knew why. Even though I knew I would just be counted as another normal statistic (I’ve always been resistant to being considered “normal”), I was determined to see this through.

I would leave behind children I loved more than anything, who would not understand why their parent would do such a thing. So, in a last-ditch effort to give them some spiritual support, especially now during the holiday season, I decided to send them love.

While I loved them, I really had no love resources left within me to give. I was empty. The only thing I could do would be to send them God’s love from some infinite source from without and beyond myself and send it to them.

I used self-guided prayer meditation to send this infinite unconditional love to each child and to their children as well. This was late on Christmas Eve, and I thought my coup was inspired because any lift of their spirits which they may have felt from this spiritual effort, would have been attributed to the holiday season.

Using this meditative process, one by one, I filtered this infinite love through every cell of each child’s body, their mind, and the deepest parts of their psyches and souls. After I’d completed the process and blessed each child, I felt like I could do more. (Not realizing this was a huge improvement, already from when I started this process.) So, I continued the process for extended family members as well.

I thought about my friends and neighbors, how they could use a boost, which might help when they’d heard of my taking my own life, so I sent love to them using this meditation.

It was at this point that I decided to include the people who had disrespected and attacked me on the behalf of predatory individuals, and the predators as well. For even with all things considered, weren’t they only doing the best they could with what they had? Many of them did not know what was really going on, nor any recognition of how their actions would affect me. I sent unconditional love to every one of them.

Then, I felt compelled to continue the process to include my local community, the state where I resided, the country, other countries, and the world.

Then, I thought, remembering this is the time of the season that others would be taking their lives, along with me, so I sent love to them, that they might grasp enough of this love, that they might be able to make it one more day, because in most cases one more day could make all the difference.

I had imagined their lives as not being as full and complete as my own, and thought if given the chance, they could have plenty of life ahead of them to experience a better life, possibly their best lives, and maybe even help to make the world a better place, if they could just make it through this tough time. So, I sent love to them.

I thought, even if only one person was able to feel the love to make it past this moment without taking his or her own life, my life would have been worth it.

I felt as if my efforts had made a difference.

After my last act of benevolence had been completed, I noticed that I felt better. The sun had come up. It was a fresh Christmas morning. I looked outside to see no snow, but it was cool and brisk, and I was alive. Feeling more alive. As if I had made a contribution, and my dream… My dream of being able to reach just one person had come true.

While I had flowed all that eternal love through me to others, it filtered through the cells of my own body as well.

I had come out on the other side, strong, and at peace with all that was.

That Christmas morning, I vowed to expand my studies to include energetic work, in an effort to better understand what miracle had just occurred.

My practice of Sending Love to the World became an annual event for me, personally, and others have joined me in sending love to the world at this time of year.

If you feel so inclined, you could join us in sending love to the world this year, and every year.

We start sending love to the world on November 11th, and continue through the 1st of January, in the hopes that we might help to make the world a better place and by all means save some.


Psychic Attack Protection

Being under psychic attack means so many things to so many people. Nonetheless, you need psychic attack protection. When you’re under psychic attack, you know your thoughts and how you are feeling is not right. The way you think, and feel is not congruent with who you really are.

You could undoubtedly say that your thoughts are not your own as you are hearing or feeling ideas which are contrary to what you know to be true, feeling body system responses that do not represent your actual physical state of wellness, and you may even have suicidal ideation.

Psychiatry can provide you with a prescription medication following a psychiatric evaluation which will prevent the thoughts and feelings of being under psychic attack and this can be hugely beneficial. Be aware, though, this is likely only to address the symptoms, not the underlying cause of your psychic attack.

Our thoughts are the most intimate thing we have and losing control of them can lead one to lose the sense of one’s self. It’s no wonder that they considered you as being possessed by demons when under psychic attack in the middle ages.

Psychic attack symptoms can appear to be similar to psychological and physiological expressions of mental illness, as the observable signs of psychic attack can easily be misread, though treatment for mental illnesses associated with these symptoms can offer relief for the victim.

Empaths and psychic attacks are more commonly matched due to the highly sensitive nature of the empath. So be aware that your empathetic nature or psychic sensitivities may leave you vulnerable to such energetic onslaughts.

Even though there are such a wide variety of types of psychic attacks, noting that professional help should be sought out if your concerns are indeed troublesome, here are a few steps you can take for psychic attack protection and/or tools you can use to interrupt any style of psychic attack.

Immediately conduct housecleaning on your thought processes. Stop taking in any negative information, find a safe place to fill your mind with positive, loving, or enjoyable thoughts. If you can, put on headphones and watch your favorite comedy and fill your mind with fun and laughter. Watch a good movie, or read a really good book. Push out any negative thoughts with positive ones. Use headphones or earbuds to plug into uplifting music which you control (no negative music) and dance.

Find something small to eat and drink (no alcoholic beverages). Stimulating your mind to reconnect to your body to focus on local operations, instead of the attack coming from without, and move about. Take a walk, or exercise if you can. Reunite yourself with yourself.

Light disrupts a psychic attack. If your psychic attack takes place during the daytime, find some sunlight and stand in it. If it is nighttime, turn on the lights, turn on all the lights. Bathe yourself in light, illuminating yourself and eliminating the shadows in the 3-D, beyond, and figurative shadows of your mind and body.

Pray to God, your higher self, seek connection with source, meditate, visualize yourself as an integral part of the universe, connect with Mother Earth, whatever type of spiritual connection you can make, do that, focusing your thoughts on those things that are good, remaining in a spiritual vibration of love and gratitude. (Do not pray for anything negative, as that will come back to haunt you as another psychic attack.)

Speaking of gratitude, start a gratitude journal, and when you’re feeling an attack coming in, whip it out and start jotting down all the things you are grateful for, taking the time to visualize yourself in the full state of being in the moment of gratitude as you make your notation(s).

If you are being haunted by thoughts of the past or fear of the future, stop and get into the now. Put all your attention on events only taking place at this very moment in time. Nothing else.

Go window shopping in your favorite stores, thumb through catalogs, cut out pictures of the stuff that makes you happy, browse online stores, and save links to those things you find that surprise and delight you, taking caution to stay away from venues which may host negatively-charged media or advertising (i.e., no scrolling through Facebook or other social media).

Create opportunities to conduct acts of kindness. Reach out to a stranger and do something nice for him or her. Reach out to someone you know that you’ve not been in contact for a while, someone you love and respect. Write them a letter, email, or send them a card, letting them know how much you appreciate them and their presence in your life as it is honored and felt even in their absence.

Do something good, make a contribution to the world, even if only in some small way. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, or make a small donation to a worthy cause. In doing so, you are making the world a better place.

And by all means, smile.

Smile because you are loved, you are love, and with every breath you take, everything is getting better.

Of course, there are other detailed actions you can take and processes you can initiate for psychic attack protection which are situation-specific, but in general, these will help in the meantime.





Suicidal Thoughts

If you’ve had thoughts about killing yourself, yes, you’re having suicidal thoughts. The good news is that most people who have suicidal thoughts do not kill themselves. On the other hand, some do commit suicide.

Twenty percent of those who commit suicide, express their suicidal thoughts to a professional before actually taking their life.

Eighty percent of suicides committed in the United States are men; that’s 16 female suicides for every 66 male suicide victims every day.

Life is a balancing act, and it’s not uncommon for someone to have suicidal thoughts when life throws what may feel like insurmountable obstacles or challenges at you. This could make anyone have a sense of helplessness or hopelessness. When challenges feel like they’re so overwhelming that you feel like you just cannot muster the wherewithal to handle it, you might consider death as the only means to escape the pain you’re feeling.

Many of the challenges we face that make us feel like we have no other options, include financial struggles. Even in this day and age, men are considered to be the financial providers and this adds pressure to their ability to support themselves or their family. When they face the inability to adequately maintain a positive cash flow, the pain of failing themselves and the people who depend on them can be enough to push someone over the edge.

The separation and loneliness of losing a loved one can be devastating, and your inability to cope with living life without him or her, or longing to see that person on the other side, has you thinking about taking your own life.

Other life struggles that can cause you to have suicidal thoughts include the grief, remorse, rejection, breakup of a romantic love interest, unexpected job loss, physical and/or sexual abuse, or the stress and pain of having to deal with a longstanding or potentially life-threatening illness or disease.

When emotional pain, which can be just as real as physical pain if not more so, or physical pain becomes unmanageable suicidal thoughts may suggest death as the only way to stop the pain of living.

There appears to be a notable percentage of likelihood that you might have an increased potential of entertaining thoughts of suicide and following through to take your own life if someone in your family has already done so.

Emotional instability, depression, mental illness, personality disorders, feeling isolated, and/or being misunderstood could increase your chances of having suicidal thoughts.

If you’re lucky enough to be with someone who displays signs of having thoughts of suicide you may see them appear to be having internal struggles, or an incongruent balance between their inner thoughts and external life.

Sometimes the inner dialogues are expressed outwardly by talking about death and dying, taking their own life, regrets about not having had the time to accomplish things they wanted to do before they died, how their life did not amount to much, or their failure to offer a contribution to the greater community. You might have a sense that when they are saying, “Goodbye,” that they might be saying it for the last time.

Other non-verbal indications of entertaining suicidal thought might include sudden changes in personality, routine, sleep patterns, or other methods of interacting with or managing life, such as increased drinking, eating, or taking drugs, or decreased interest in social interaction, material possessions, or other activities which may have previously been enjoyable. They might be making the arrangements by giving things away or writing unsent salutary letters to be found after they’re gone.

Although you may be able to see some external indication of someone having suicidal thoughts, more likely than not, you will have no clue. Thoughts of suicide are very personal and can be quite contradictory to what someone’s life looks like on the outside. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to know what’s really going on inside someone’s head and/or heart.

No doubt, life can be very hard, and there will be times when you feel like you just can’t take one more day, and this can be your breakthrough moment.

Some of the best stories start with, “I had no reason to live and I was contemplating suicide,” and could be the opening line of your best story ever.

It will take some work, but you can take all your feelings and turn them into the fuel necessary to embrace your life, your life’s calling, live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

But you’ve got to get a grip. Say, “No,” to drugs and alcohol, and stop trying to hide yourself away. Get out there, take a walk, smile, and say, “Hi,” to people as you pass them by. Be mindful of what you put in your body and find ways to sleep better.

Start looking for all the good things in life and make the time to partake in activities that make you feel good.

Get in touch with your purpose, message, passion, and mission (PMPM) and turn your angst into a powerful ministry. The world needs to hear your voice, your story, your message because you’re not the only one. Think of the others, who are also having thoughts of suicide, right now… You can make a difference, give them hope, and show them how you turned your life around.

You are loved. You are love.

Love is calling you to a greater expression of yourself. Live, love, and shine your light.

And you don’t have to do this alone… because you are never alone.

Why Do People Commit Suicide?

There is no doubt that the current suicide statistics are off the charts. Suicide is one of the top ten leading causes of death in the United States today. Today 117 people died from suicide, of those 22 of them were Veterans. 30 of the suicide victims were women, while the other 87 men also took their own lives. It not only happened today, but it happens every day in the USA.

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Why do people commit suicide?

Determining the specific details about why people are actually moved to take their own life is somewhat of a mystery, but many share some of the same characteristics. Depression is the default answer, but since everyone who is depressed does not commit suicide, what do those who actually commit suicide have in common?

Some key components that suicide victims appear to share include pain, loneliness, abuse, guilt, rejection, helplessness, and deep sadness. As we collect more data the answer to, “Why do people kill themselves?” becomes more clear. The single most significant constant appears to be an overwhelming concern of being a burden on others or the community at large.

So, the common feelings among people who commit suicide include:

My life has no value
I have nothing to offer the world
There is no reason to live
The world would be better off without me

The Suicide Attempt 80/20 Rule

Twenty percent, or one out of five people who attempt suicide and fail, will successfully commit suicide in the next five years.

By all means, when reviewing any statistical data on suicide, keep in mind that these are people, not statistics. Resist the temptation to categorize or judge, because any of us at any time could be in a position to feel that not living might be the only way to stop the pain of living.

Here’s the Good News

One out of five people who attempt suicide will change their lives and be living a wildly satisfying, happy, and fulfilled life in the next five years.

You might be surprised to find that it takes the same amount of effort, determination, conviction, and commitment to kill yourself as it does to change your life for the better; in fact, so much better, that the very same person who was willing to commit suicide can enjoy massive success, happiness and live a long and fulfilling life. Consider being a thriving survivor.

Suicidal Thoughts

That said, thoughts of suicide can be the most important indicator that your life is at a critical juncture of dramatic change. The universe is offering you all the desires of your heart fulfilled if you choose to accept the challenge in this moment.

The Suicide Opportunity

This distinct pinpoint in your life indicates the greatest opportunity in your life. It’s as if you are standing on a tightrope suspended over two choices, for it takes the same amount of effort to choose a massively successful life on the one side, or managing the taking of one’s own life on the other. Either way, it takes a great deal of thought, planning and careful execution of your plan to achieve either self-inflicted death or massive success. Sixty percent of those who have attempted suicide will shimmy across the rope without making one of the two decisions, accepting their lot in life, to live out their days doing the best they can with what they have.

If you are considering committing suicide, this is a clear indication that you are at the most important place in your life, the decision that you make in this moment will change your life forever, either for the better or to prove that you refused to take the offer provided you by the universe.

I have worked with many successful people who have been there. Even though for the most part (for obvious reasons) they are unwilling to tell their stories to the general public, so many highly successful people found themselves, staring down the barrel of a gun, holding a handful of pills, contemplating stepping off the chair, or swirling poison in a wine glass.

The best stories start that way.

This is when you decide that

I can have everything I ever wanted
I have a mission and purpose for my life
The giving of my gift to others is my reason to live
I can help to make the world a better place

Instead of planning your suicide by searching for how to commit suicide, or how to kill yourselves painless and easy, maybe consider that you are at the most meaningful crossroads that you will ever face in your life, and you may choose to begin your

Most Amazing Life Ever

If you can’t seem to get a grip on how to stop suicidal thoughts, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You are in no hurry, talk to someone anonymously first and consider reaching for just one more day because once you decide to kill yourself, the effects can be permanent and you may not get a second chance.

Don’t let your song die

But please, see this as a moment of clarity indicating that your life does have a meaningful purpose, and now is the time to find and begin singing your song to the world.

I would love to congratulate you on your decision to turn your attention to achieving your highest and best.

All it takes is being open to the possibilities and to start living the life you were given to its fullest.

You can do this

May God bless you in all you do