It Takes All Kinds

Take a walk down any metropolitan street in America today, you will clearly see a wide variety of peoples represented. There is no doubt that it takes all kinds of people to make the world go around and in order not to get in the way of progress, we are better off if we can practice tolerance. And these differences are only apparent from outside appearances. What about what’s happening on the inside?

It Takes All Kinds

It takes all kinds of people who vary massively on the inside to make the world go around. As much as you might like everyone to think just like you do, the chances of you finding anyone anywhere who thinks like you is highly unlikely, if not impossible.

Personal Isolation

Now, you can ostracize yourself in an effort to isolate yourself, only surrounding yourself with like-minded people. The less tolerant you are of others, the fewer people you will enjoy in your social circle. You might like existing as a solitary power of one. For some, there is safety in being alone and not a part of society at all, and that’s perfectly fine because it does take all kinds.

If you do not live a solitary life and you have an open mind, it is likely you can learn extremely valuable information from someone who is extremely secluded from modern society.

Evolutionary Expansion

The practice of tolerance may not be necessary for some anti-social types of individuals, but for the rest of us, tolerance is the key to the successful future liberating all human beings to share in all the benefits offered the human race, including our eventual progressive evolution.

While society would like to separate us and keep us opposed to each other either based on what we look like, how and where we live, how many financial resources you control, or how much royal blood runs through your veins, the trend among ever expanding and evolving peoples are becoming increasingly more tolerant embracing all peoples unconditionally in peace and harmony.

Think about it, when we are intolerant and judge others as being right or wrong, what is the outcome? Dissention, disrespect, separation, wars, and rumors of wars, to say the least. Do you really want to be a promoter of separation?

Something inside you (that higher part of you) knows there’s something about disrespecting or hating your neighbor that does not sound or feel right. And the bases resonance of maintaining separation is not hate, it is the frequency of “fear” which is the polar opposite of love.

Love is the resonate frequency which evolution is moving toward; toward love and away from fear. For years, ever since humankind can emotionally recall, which is a part of our biological makeup, fear has kept us alive and prevented us from being devoured by beasts who might think of us as a nutritious meal.

At this point in our history, human beings are evolving from a fear-based life to a love-based life, and this looks very different from the way we approached living in the past, or even in the now, nonetheless this evolution is taking place and there is nothing you can do to stop it. You can choose to opt out of the evolution, but your refusal to participate will fade generationally.

Science substantiates the benefits of practicing tolerance as an extremely healthy exercise. Every minute you live in the vibratory state of unconditional love, you reap the biological benefits of boosting your immune system exponentially and adding many times to your healthful longevity. Imagine what the possibilities which may be at your fingertips if you could maintain healthful tolerant loving vibratory state. This promotes your evolutionary process, and you can feel the difference.

This further evolved human being enjoys an incredibly fascinating, happy, and healthy prolonged life, with more prosperity and abundance than their lesser-evolved peers, and everything becomes possible.

As we evolve, not only do we resist the tendency to judge others, but we are less likely to judge ourselves, and silence your negative inner voice as well as any hidden demons which may haunt us from our past. Living life on planet earth has never been so free, and if you’ve achieved this level of conscious evolution, you are truly free indeed.

Lasting Love Secret Ingredient

While trust is the most important foundational component of a successful love relationship, there is a secret ingredient in the chemistry of love which effectively predicts the long-lasting nature of a growing love relationship between two people.

If you want to have a great love that will last the test of time you must possess tolerance. Tolerance is the acceptance that we are all in a constant state of change. Just as you desire people (more specifically your partner) to love and accept you, wherever you are in your station of life, you must have both the willingness and the ability to love and accept your partner, whatever state or condition he or she is in at any time.

This is not a ploy or a game to manipulate your relationship, authentically loving and acceptance can only initiate in the heart space, and as you may have guessed the love and acceptance must start with you. You are a vibrational being vibrating at a specific frequency, you cannot give what you do not possess for yourself. So to truly be tolerant, you must first fully love and accept yourself, your history, your physiological makeup, everything about you, on the surface and deep within.

You must be in love with and full acceptance of you, your ever-changing emotional (at time unflattering) states, such as sadness, anger, and fear. You must be aware and know your ego and your relationship with it.

From this authentic place of loving and accepting yourself, aligning you as a person with that greater and higher part of you, or spirit, you can bestow love and acceptance to others from the heart with integrity. You are now able to better become one with the world, or the people who inhabit it, both paired and universally.

 

That sets the bar high but you have been called to this level of love and understanding as part of your metamorphosis and evolution, otherwise, you will have continued difficulty in connecting and communicating with your partner(s), especially when things are less than buoyant.

This concept is not so far removed from you that you cannot comprehend it because you yearn for this love and acceptance yourself. You want to be loved just the way you are without being judged or made fun of. Isn’t that right?

Then, embracing yourself, then allowing others to be as they are, while you love and accept them, just as you would like to be, is the next logical step.

While this applies to you, how much more so should this apply to the one other person who you love, and who loves you in return?

When your partner does or says something that makes you feel intolerant, as if he or she did or said something wrong, disrespectful, uncaring or even hurt your feelings. The first place to look, is not at your partner, but within. This is a surefire indicator that you have unresolved issues bubbling up inside of you, from the past, most likely from the distant past, which has been brewing and gaining pressure over time, looking for a place to escape.

While lashing out at your partner is an effective way to release the pressure, not only is it unglamorous, but you are better than that. You deserve better reducing your relationships to varying states of love and fear. You deserve relief and release of those things within that hold you back and drive a wedge between you and someone you love.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t have a safe, sacred space to fully express your thoughts and emotions, even if they are negative)

 

 

The World’s Best Kept Secret

You are the world’s best kept secret.

While you navigate and interact with the world as we know it, you do your best to understand other people whom you meet along your journey. You watch, listen and even try to put yourself in their shoes in an effort to understand them, and in some ways we can find ways to perceive or understand them, but you can never truly know them. How do you know? Because you are the world’s best kept secret.

No one knows who you are

When you think about it, no one can ever really know who you are. Even if you try to be totally transparent and open, revealing everything about yourself and going through rigorous efforts to try to get someone to understand who you really are and what you really think or feel, it is impossible to relate the totality of your personage to another person because

No one knows what you think

That part of you which is boundless exists and thrives in the intimate spaces between your words, actions, biochemistry, and other methods of observable communication occupied by you and only you are your thoughts. Nobody knows what goes on inside that head of yours; no one. You are the personification of the idea that, “Still waters run deep.”

No one knows what you feel

Everything that you experience or feel in this life is not simply the observation of life though your five senses. Your feelings, the way you feel about something, or the nearly unlimited array of feelings that only you can feel cannot be authentically understood, felt or known by another person. Not even the world’s most attuned, sensitive, empathetic being can know the breadth of feeling as can only be experienced by you.

You hide behind your disguise

You do, I do, and we all hide behind our respected disguises. We represent ourselves to our communities as we might like to be perceived. We allow different versions of our selves to be revealed (or more correctly “projected on”) to others depending on the level of intimacy we maintain with the recipient of each particular projection.

Still we try to know someone else

Even though each one of us holds our inner most thoughts so dear, never to be fully shared with any other human being, still in our desire to connect with others, we imagine we can see into the life, heart and mind of someone else, even when we know this degree of intimacy is highly improbable. We have impeccable knowledge of the impossibility of anyone else knowing us fully, yet we hold onto the illusion that we can know someone else and act surprised when we witness some unexpected personal revelation. This dichotomy is referred to as asymmetric insight among the mental health community.

And we want to be understood

There is a part of you that wants to be understood, yet no one could possibly know you. And if given half the chance, even if you could allow someone to see everything inside of you, you wouldn’t willingly allow it. But, you do have certain parts of you that you long to share with another person who resonates with your perspective; someone who would agree with you and support your point of view, if it could understood as you understand it without judgment. We all seek this harmonic balance with another being.

Tolerance is the key

So the key to this conundrum is tolerance. The idea that, “I am me and you are he and we are all together,” such as conceived by John Lennon in his cryptic song in which he dons the disguise of the walrus, refers to us. We are all what we are, that is all we can be and we can only do the best we can with what we have. We all suffer from the same human condition and the best we can do is to understand that we are all okay.

If you want to be honored for who you are, the only way to have any hope of being respected by anyone else is to first honor others with the same respect you might like.

No need to make it so complicated.
You are one. And so are we.
We can do this.

How to Not Take It Personally

When you see that person who is calm, in a state of zen, and nothing seems to bother them, you think, “What the hell is wrong with that person?”

What you might find, is that they have mastered the idea that nothing is personal. They don’t seem to get uptight (much) and stuff just seems to roll off their back, as they don’t get overanxious or take things personally. They embrace the idea that things are as they are and that’s okay.

You, too, could begin living a life free from the angst of others, because, after all, people will disagree with you, even scheme to trip you up, or try to make you look as if you’re overreacting in front of peers or coworkers, just to prove they can.

Rather than react, you could opt to stop taking things personally and take away their superpower in an instant.

First of all, make a list of the things that piss you off (you know the people that piss you off have this list, shouldn’t you?). Next, review the list. What do yo find? Look for the key components that bother you (this can be an exciting journey in self-discovery, as you find the things that irk you the most often are related to key life moments in your past – or early childhood – torturing you in the present).

Try to look at the issue from other perspectives and think about how a particular thing or topic that carries with it a powerful negative charge and ask, “Does it really matter?” In the scope of the life and times of the human race, many a mountain has been made of molehills, just to cause division between peoples, when in reality, very little is truly meaningful. And when you think of it, nothing has meaning, except for the meaning that you give it.

 

Take a look at celebrities, politicians and other public figures that take massive stands, expecting others to conform to their point of view. How is that working for them?

I discovered long ago, you are more likely to get someone to see from your perspective if you love and accept them just they way they are without expectation, rather than entering into a heated debate or brow-beating them.

If community or global issues get you riled up, realize whatever it is, is not happening to your, personally. Position yourself as a supporter instead of a protester. Protesters (those who expend a great deal of energy in opposition to something) actually add more energy to the thing they are standing against, strengthening the very thing they don’t want. On the other hand, supporters put their energies toward what they do want (the solution) thereby increasing its effectiveness.

Remember that life is what it is. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go ’round, and start making room in your psyches to allow others to be as they are. Take the position of the observer rather than the enforcer. It’s not your job to control others, so try to find opportunities to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

As you are growing into a more tolerant lifestyle, embracing who you are without having to have anyone conform to your personal standards, you may begin to see others doing the same thing. Finding opportunities to spend time in their proximity will make your allowance grow even more.

Does that mean life will be rosy? No, not really. You can wear all the rose-colored glasses you want, and still, people you trusted will fall short of the mark, those you love will hurt your feelings, and you will do likewise (either intentionally, or not). This is a fact of life. Do your best to realize that it is what it is, any tr not to judge others (or yourself) too harshly when it becomes apparent.

How can you disarm those who would like to attack you, or put you down?

Easy, don’t give them any ammunition. When you practice tolerance, there is no opposition. When you can wrap your head around that everything and everyone is perfectly fine just the way they are and no one is right or wrong, allowing for differing opinions, what is there to fight against? Nothing.

And what about your idea of truth? Do you find yourself being defensive, fighting for what you believe? Well, just sit back and think about it… Where did you get this idea of truth? Did someone plant the idea, or did it originate from within your own mind, with your own reasoning and rationale? Then review all the things you strongly believed in… Has your belief changed over time? In most cases, truth and what we believe does change over time, as new information becomes available. It’s inevitable. Things change. So cut yourself some slack and admit to yourself, “This is what I believe to be true at this moment in time.” Based on the information at hand. Who knows what you might believe tomorrow.

Have good intentions and hold yourself to the standard of the Hippocratic Oath, “to do no harm.”

Stop adding energy to the bad things that are brought to your attention. If you see something bad in the media, switch it off, change the channel, refuse to engage in it. Just the welling up of negative emotion within you makes those things that you dislike more powerful. Avoid all negativity.

When people are acting poorly, it is not up to you to try to change them, punish them, or make them feel bad. Do not talk about them behind their back or try to ridicule them for their actions, confront them or offer them advice.

If you find yourself in close proximity and a confrontation is unavoidable, try to speak your peace with lighthearted humor, remembering that it’s not about you. When someone is in opposition of you and you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, keep in mind that this person is acting out because of their own inner demons. It has nothing to do with you. In fact, it can be somewhat of a blessing that you were chosen to participate, because the more tolerant, new you, is less likely to fight and more likely to understand and have empathy for the person who is acting out. Try to put yourself in their shoes.

If you don’t like haters, don’t be one. How hard is that? Only share positive support and do not put others down, not for anything. After all, aren’t we all just doing the best we can with what we have?

If yo have an opinion or want to share some factual data, please do so, but share your information humbly, without the expectation that anyone should believe you or conform to your thought patterns. Think of it more like planting seeds. Share your information and allow it to take root and grow on its own, or not.

Practice the Golden Rule (Jesus’ sermon on the mount, Matthew 7:12) by treating others as you would like to be treated.

Congratulations, you are on your way to the tolerant new you, who doesn’t take things personally, because it’s not. Everything and everyone just is as it is, and that’s okay.

 

Where’s the Integrity?

Wait-a-minute, if I have integrity and I give someone my word (like I will do something at some point in the future), well, that’s then and this is now. If I’ve told someone I was going to do something in the past, that was so then and it doesn’t matter now. So, if I make a promise to you, it doesn’t matter? What about someone else’s promise to me? Where’s the integrity in that?

Want the truth? Nothing really matters.

You just have to realize that life on planet earth is a lot of some-will-some-won’t-next. If you can wrap your head around this, you will be okay, but it’s hard, because we’re not programmed to allow what is to be.

I am a product of my programming and I have a huge Integrity component. I feel like, if I tell someone something, it must be true and it’s up to me to make it true no matter what the cost because I want to be remembered as an intengrous person, one who has always kept his word. For the longest time, I thought, if my tombstone had anything on it, it should read, “Here lies an honest man. If nothing else, he was good to his word.” Which sounds good on the surface, but if you look at it, there it is: Lies and Honest in the same reference, as if it was to be something good.

And what does it mean to be good to your word?

Is it really any good to suffer through pain, turmoil, tragedy, confusion and angst, just because you uttered certain words in the heat of the moment? How good is that? Wouldn’t it be more good to say, “Sorry, something came up. I just can’t make it.”?

I can hear all the Eckhart Tolle fans starting to murmur in the background about my finally starting to get a clue.

I mean, what kind of a prison have I committed myself to?

Actually, I do maintain a high level of integrity, although I must admit, I am less happy than the folks who are actively more apt to be less integrous and live in the now.

Take a look at someone you know who has no idea about what it means to keep their word – no concept of it – because they’re so blissfully living in the now. What do you see? Happiness. They truly have found a way to be content and joyful, by disregarding anything that isn’t and only seeing what is.

As I move away from selfishness and more toward allowing what is to be, I find myself less judgmental against someone whom I might have considered a liar in the past. Why? Because this is the unrealistic expectation I had of myself. This was my standard. I militantly adhered to the ridiculous concept that if I were to utter a certain sequence of words at any time, and if they were not manifest as I had uttered them, then I would be a liar and deserving of severe punishment (at least personal berating). So, it was not unreasonable for me to hold others to the same standard.

Say something. If it does not manifest as you said, you were a liar. (Oh, silly Masters.)

I have to credit business principles for introducing me to concepts, like, some-will-some-won’t-next. It is a reference commonly used to put salespeople at ease in their dealing with rejection. When you pitch your spiel, then there are only two possible outcomes, followed by your best course of action: Next; keep it moving.

That’s all well and good in business but to apply it to life was well beyond my ability to comprehend. What about integrity?

Really? What about it?

Where is the integrity in life?

“Life is the least integrous system ever conceived.”

If anything, life (as we know it) is the least integrous system ever conceived. It is full of chaos, dysfunction, unexpected twists and turns and for god’s sake, even such random acts as to be referred to as acts of god!

And through all this confusion, if you’re listening, you start to hear the gentle flow of isness in the background; that soothing vibration of allowing things to be as they are. It doesn’t mean you don’t get your feelings hurt, suffer pain or loss along the way. By all means, do. Cry, scream, rant, rave – whatever your fancy – then be done with it.

Next. Keep it moving…

In life,
some things will work out the way you wanted
Some won’t.
Next.

Thank god for the many nexts we are afforded in this life.

Amen.

Revenge vs. Tolerance

Revenge vs. Tolerance begs the question, “What is your reaction when you are faced with a concept, situation, organization or person that you vehemently disagree with?”

You could have a strict and concise, completely opposite point of view, or feel as though you have been slighted, attacked or betrayed by an imposition or affirmative action.

What you do about it say a great deal about the kind of person you are.

revenge-vs-tolerance-ego-and-love

Certainly there are many actions and reactions you can take, and like most things in life, the options vary among a spectrum of possibilities. At one end of the spectrum is Ego-fueled Revenge, on the other Love-inspired Tolerance.

Revenge

Revenge is the defense mechanism of the ego. The ego responds negatively to any idea in contrast to its own individual position. The wider the chasm between what the ego holds dearly and the opposing force or idea, the more violently the ego demands restitution.

While on the surface, the idea of revenge might seem just, “an eye for an eye.”

You offended, hurt me or my feelings, now you must pay dearly.
No one disrespects me, like that.

And there’s a romantic appeal to exercising justice in this manner, and it may be a lifelong compulsion overshadowing all aspects of your life until the need for revenge is satisfied, not unlike Inigo Montoya’s, “You killed my father. Prepare to die.” © 1973 William Goldman “The Princess Bride.”

You see the idea reflected every day in the media headlines in newspapers, on television, the Internet, radio broadcasts and is often reflected in casual conversation among friends, in cafeterias and around the water cooler at work.

The problem with the ego, is that it is not just. There is no other more selfish or disrespectful perspective from which to launch any action. Unfortunately, Albert Einstein accurately depicted the result of any action with his, “with every action there’s an equal opposite reaction.”

For the spiritually-inclined, this confirms the idea that there is a Karmic debt which accumulates with every action we take (which may also include our thoughts).

Where justice represents an equal eye-for-an-eye point of view, ego’s revenge exaggerates the difference to include psychological damages far beyond just the facts, causing any reaction to also be exaggerated. Instead of being an equal response (which might seem reasonable or just) the over-enthusiastic response swings an energy-charged pendulum.

Once the pendulum has swung full force, there is an initial sense of relief that justice has been served… only, as we all know, the pendulum will return to the one who launched it to exert its Karmic energy. Not good for the person who launched the counter-attack, or those within arm’s reach of the initiator of the revenge.

Tolerance

Tolerance, on the other hand, is inspired by love and promotes peace. Love does not seek revenge and is not destructive. Love honors justice but does so selflessly with compassion and respect. Love does not demand compliance, nor does it encourage victimization on either side.

The perspective of someone who may be the recipient of an injustice who is motivated by love rather than ego will respond with a different frame of mind.

The tolerant individual is more likely to imagine what it might be like in the offender’s shoes, wondering, “What may have contributed to this?”

Often, when looking at the entire picture, from the perspective of the other person, organization or thought, you can see how the combination of logic, emotion and circumstance has led to this thought or action that opposes your own sense of truth.

Tolerance is not the condoning of an opposing view, only allowing someone else to have (and hold tight) to such a view.

A tolerant response would be not to defend your position (pushing the pendulum) but to pursue a separate course of action to promote your point of view not directed to the opposition.

This is the enlightened response of tolerance.

Taking the action to promote your position is far more effective than defending your position from an argumentative point of view.

Revenge vs. Tolerance

So, what it comes down to, is answering the question, “What will you do about it?”

Would you rather push the pendulum in defense or make a stand, promoting your position in love and allowing support to be attracted to you?

Expectation Imposition

You can try to impose your expectations on another person, but is this really advisable?

I know, I’ve been there, too

I have been in the flow of helping others in counseling, coaching and consulting since high school. In the beginning my work was focused primarily on Christian counseling and I recognized that if it wasn’t impossible to legislate Christian conduct, it would certainly be immoral to attempt to do so. It resonated as true within my sense of being that a person could only conduct their lives in such a way as was congruent with any sense of rationality they could muster based on the individual lives they had lived up to this point in time, or simply put

Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have

counselor coach consultant training counselors coaches consultants

Yet early in my ministry, I kept running into walls and posturing against leadership promoting the idea that certain ideas and expectations should be enforced in order to allow participation in our program. After attempting to find ways to work-around these organized spiritual obstacles unsuccessfully, I determined more secular spiritual endeavors would better suit my ministry.

I mean, really? It appears to me that Jesus had an entirely more radical approach, like, “Love God, mind your own business and don’t screw anybody over” (admittedly, a Masters’ paraphrase, but you get the idea).

As I continued assisting others and later transitioned into training counselors, coaches and consultants, I continued to promulgate the idea that while trying to assist someone along their life’s journey, we should not impose our expectations on the client.

It’s not your life

You can, yeah but, me ‘til you’re blue in the face. I will never concede that you will ever know what’s best for another person. You may have your ideas, and by all means, it is your charge and responsibility to share your ideas, as well as others, to help your client see there are options they might have not considered.

Allow them to make their own way

You must allow them the space to make their own decisions and take their own actions and live out their own lives in their own way.

I have standards

Great; no problem with establishing a target market around the type of individuals you achieve the best results with. You only have a certain number of hours available to help others, it is prudent for you to establish your niche so you can better serve your clients with the resources you have available.

You cannot – and should not – try to be everything to everyone. This will lead to disappointment, discouragement and burnout (the fate of most non-specializing counselors).

If I can see that a client is not a good match for my coaching style, I do not demand they comply with my standards. Instead, I refer them to someone else who is better suited to help them with where they are on their life’s journey. Maybe, at a later date, we will be more compatible.

The easiest sign to identify a novice counselor, coach or consultant, is when he or she says, “I told them what to do and they wouldn’t do it,” with a certain degree of angst. While a more-seasoned professional might say, “I made some suggestions. In my opinion, they did not select the option I might have selected but c’est la vie.”

When someone doesn’t take advice from you and you’ve encouraged him or her to look at all the possible outcomes from various points of view, you might consider applauding them for blazing their own trail, then just sit back and see how their decision works out for them. You might be surprised (as I have been on many occasions) how well things do work out for them, even though you might not have fared as well.

And if things don’t work out for them as well as they’d hoped, for god’s sake do not tell them, “I told you so.” Instead, put yourself in their shoes; how would you feel if you were him or her? A little humility goes a long way. It is not your job to judge, but to empathetically support the client; not to validate your ego-dominated superiority.

Lighten up – Let it be

Tolerate Much?

When you see someone going through a difficult situation, or having trouble navigating their life path or suffering an enormous misfortune, as though they were thrashing through the brush with a machete the whole way, what are your thoughts?

intolerance tolerate much dont laugh at other people make fun ridicule or put down

Do you think,

A – What a freak (or alternatively),

They should get a life, or
If they’d been through what I’ve been through…
 

B – I wonder what it’s like to be in that person’s shoes?

Immediately, you get the idea that I’ve set you up, to give you a choice of selecting either disrespect or empathy. Honestly, though, what is your knee-jerk reaction? I hear a lot of people being disrespectful.

You might be surprised, if I were to ask those same people if faced with a similar situation (just the same, only different) their reply would be to unequivocally stand on the idea that their first response would be one of empathy.

An interesting observation, don’t you think?

It’s no wonder it’s so difficult for people to get along with each other these days.

Tolerance is the ability, skill or innate psychological behavior of allowing others to be the way they are, regardless of whether it is in contrast with you. And the best type of tolerance is celebrating that people are the way they are, and that’s okay.

tolerance spectrum intolerance judgement rejection tolerance love acceptance

If tolerance is considered to be a spectrum, on the left-hand side of the spectrum there would be judging and rejection, on the other end would be love and acceptance. Certainly there are a myriad of tolerant or intolerant behaviors and attitudes in between those two extremes.

Why are we likely to be intolerant?

Because we’ve been programmed that way since birth; our parents, their parents, public schools, our peers, the media, and now with social media and immediate access to information via the World Wide Web, our first reaction is to reject and alienate others.

To laugh at their misfortune, make fun of their condition, call them ugly, fat, disgusting, ignorant or stupid.

Oh, it’s hilarious (you might think) but what’s really going on in that viral video clip?

You don’t know… or is it that you don’t care?

This leads me to believe that there exists a conspiracy promoted by the powers that be to keep us divided, to intentionally pit us one against the other, in an effort to keep us weak and dependent on the government for assistance. And they’re fueling the fire of polarization, like no one’s business.

Don’t believe me?

If you’re on Facebook, take a look at your feed. See any dissention there? What videos are popular on YouTube? Anyone watch the nightly news lately?

Then there’s You and Me

Maybe we’re the only ones, the two of us; together we could agree to be more tolerant, to try to understand others as we would like to be understood and accepted for all our talents and inadequacies on our good days and bad days.

After all, aren’t we all just doing the best we can with what we have?

The next step in human evolution is tolerance love nth degree

The next step in human evolution is tolerance. Tolerance = Loven

Intolerance is illogical

To be intolerant, doesn’t even make good sense.

It’s as if, when engaged in the activity of judging or ridiculing someone else, the person who is doing it can’t even see the hypocrisy in their doing so… How do we find congruency at all in this degree of superiority and isolation?

Even now, as you read these words, there are some who are locked, loaded and ready to attack me, twist my words and suggest that I am promoting some kind of crazy campaign. This is not addressed to them.

This is addressed to you: That one other person, who along with me is making a commitment to be more tolerant… because to you and me, it makes more sense to treat others as we would like to be treated.

Are you with me?

Do You Want to Make the World a Better Place?

There are so many ways to segment peoples of the world; by race, by income level, education, political view, genetics, and sociological traditions, whatever… For me, it comes down to core motivation by answering the question, “Do you want to make the world a better place?”

Do you want to make the world a better place

It’s not the end-all be-all qualification, but it’s an important part of establishing a person’s character.

Some of you might think this is a simple yes or no question, right? Well, it turns out its terribly complicated. I’ve always held to this tenet like the Holy Grail, because the idea is a driving force throughout my whole life. I often ask myself, “What can I do today – or in this moment – to make the world a better place?” even if only in some small way.

Having this particular mindset has me on the lookout for others who are motivated in the same way, because couldn’t we all impact the world in a massive way for raising love, understanding, consciousness or global peace if we could join together?

So, I routinely ask the question, “Do you want to make the world a better place?” A glowing 90 percent of people answer, “Yes.” Wa-hoo! I’ve found a soul-brother or soul-sister!

Then, to qualify we are sharing common ground, I ask, “What does that mean to you?”

This is where it all starts to fall apart. My joyous enthusiasm starts to wane, as they scrunch their nose, squint, tuck their chin and ask, “What?”

If they can provide me with an intellectually sound reply, I challenge them with, “What did you do today to make the world a better place?”

I am surprised how complicated such a simple question could be. The problem appears to be that we – all of us – have our own interpretation of the question, “Do you want to make the world a better place?” And if we are at all concerned about making the world a better place, each of us has a different idea about what that might look like.

Kind’a like my, “What would you do with 20 million dollars?” question.

It appears the question is misinterpreted or lost in translation, because when I ask someone, “Do you want to make the world a better place?” the question they answer is:

“Do you want everyone in the world to think, act, believe and be like you?”

Which (I’m disappointed to say) is not the question.

And I’m as guilty of it as anyone. When I ask the question, it is from my individual point of view. To me the question infers random acts of kindness, sharing love and compassion, personal, emotional and spiritual growth, tolerance for all peoples, responsible care and tending of our planet, and more along this trend of thought.

Even though from my perspective my inference was full of intention and clarity, the person to whom I had proposed the question possesses an entirely different perspective and agenda.

Even you; if you would like to see the world a better place, you might have a completely different idea, like:

(List of other ideas deleted prior to publishing, due to my own ignorance)

I am humbled and humiliated by this rant, now.

I found myself listing the myriad of ideas that others had answered the question with that were not congruent with my own and found myself in judgment. Ranting… (Where’s the tolerance in that?) participating in the problem myself.

I am the hypocrite, the problem. I am what’s wrong with the world.

Regrettably, those things I despise still reside within me… It is an ongoing process…

Forgive me.

Polarization and Entitlement

Me, me, me. Mine, mine, mine.” It starts at a very early age, and if left to itself, this polarization and entitlement can expand and grow, like a cancer, infecting our society. With 7.4 billion people on our planet, we should start to find ways to coexist with less conflict.

You might be able to recognize the adult signs of polarization and entitlement and choose to be part of the solution for a better world.

polarization enitlement victim mentality you don t know me tolerance intolerance

I am the victim

“You don’t understand, I am the victim, here.”

When you see yourself as the victim of some kind of abuse, mistreatment or lack of respect, you polarize yourself away from the subject (person, place or thing) that has “wronged” you and greatly reduce the ability to resolve the issue without conflict. You have drawn the proverbial line in the sand and declared war on the situation.

Any further conversation or negotiation from this point forward will be in the form of debate. You post up and ready yourself for battle and start building your case to establish your affirmative position while imposing your view of how you have been harmed or disrespected. You are ready to fight.

You don’t know me

“You have no idea about who I am, or the life I’ve lived.”

To assume that no one understands me, my plight or my perspective, implies that it makes a difference. Of course, it is actually impossible for m to actually see anything from your perspective – you might be able to give me clues – but it is simply not possible. All of us are completely unique. Though we may share some things in common, no person can truly see anything from anyone else’s perspective (unless we can figure out how to do the Vulcan mind-meld) and at times, we all feel like a Stranger in a Strange Land.

Don’t trust anyone

“I don’t trust you. I don’t trust anyone.”

When I was young, I trusted people. If I’ve learned one thing in my life, it’s that you can’t trust anyone – I don’t care who you are – I cannot, and will not, trust anyone ever again, as long as I live.

Everyone is out to get me

“People are always trying to find new ways to put me down.”

Rarely does a day go by (or a moment, for that matter) that someone doesn’t disrespect me, falsely accuse or belittle me. I am an adult, I have rights and I demand to be treated fairly.

Sense of entitlement

“You owe me. I demand to be taken care of.”

Whether it is being respected, heard, vindicated or to exercise vengeance, my expression must win out and any and all resources available can be called upon to satisfy my basic needs, desires or initiatives.

The idea that everyone should be the same; treated the same, the world is somehow responsible for catering to your every need or whim and your knowledge of how to manipulate the system to get you what you want (for the most part) satisfies your basic need(s).

Stop Intolerance

If you want to live a full and free life, full of happiness and satisfaction (with a little disharmony thrown in for flavor and personal growth) you must stop polarizing yourself against others.

Once you hold fast to the idea that it’s me versus them, you have created an impossible situation that feeds the victim mentality and breeds discord.

It is not until we can wrap our heads around the idea that we are more the same than we are different. Instead of demanding our differences be recognized and respected, realizing – we are all human beings, sharing what resources are available, each making our own way, doing the best we can with what we have – we are all the same, and I love and respect you as much as I’d like to be loved and respected.

Sure, we love those things that create our own uniqueness and celebrate our individuality among the rest of us. We all have the right to our own ideas, ideals, philosophies, beliefs and those characteristics that make us different, but to impose them on anyone else would be disrespectful. Can’t we all just get along?

Tolerance suggests that we all have the inalienable right to think or believe whatever we want, as long as it doesn’t interfere with anyone else’s right to the same.

Barney said it best:

I love you
You love me
We’re a happy family

Until we can love and be loved – allowing each individual their right to their own perspective, without having to defend it – will we see true harmony in our society and/or the world.