truth | David M Masters

Lie of Omission and Truth

Just as deceitful as right out telling a lie, is the lie of omission, where you actually refrain from saying anything, as an alternative to blatantly lying.

If you feel your personal exposure is too great to be honest and lying feels like too extreme an option, you might opt to initiate a deception by omission, to deceive by saying nothing. And if you do, a peculiar thing seems to take place. In most cases, even if with the best intentions, even though you have said nothing, people who have lies of omission between them tend to drift apart.

You can justify to yourself, “Well, at least I didn’t lie,” but the consequences are dire, if not worse than outright lying.

By withholding the truth, you also withhold vulnerability, love, and connection. Any authentic connection which may have existed between two individuals where one or each harbor lies of omission continues to erode until nothing is left.

Not being able to live life as an open and honest individual could very well keep you from achieving your highest and best, from having all the desires of your heart. All the life to live that is your divine birthright withheld from you as you practice deception by withholding.

Oh, you may have some degree of success as measured by your peers, but true love, joy, and happiness will remain elusive experiences and expressions in this life.

A deep connection between two individuals includes celebrating each individuality, understanding that no two people are identical, allowing and honoring those things that make each of us unique. That means that there will be times when we experience separation having different past experiences, differing points of view, and moments of uncomfortableness, as we are equally vulnerable and honest which strengthens the relationship.

No one can tell you what is true. Only you can know what truth at any given time is, for everything you believe is true. You know it. You can feel it, and you must find a way to express your truth. You should be able to attract those who are willing to listen to those things that are important to you without judgment, and you likewise in loving reciprocity.

If you are honest, you are true to and honest with yourself, then you can speak your truth with integrity and honor, which can (and should) make you vulnerable. Being transparent and honest leaves you at risk of being disagreed with, challenged, attacked, or left wide open for haters to exploit.

Honesty can include the truth in general, as follows:

Question: How are you feeling today?

Honest Answer: Okay, I’ve been better, but seeing you makes me feel better right now.

You can give an honest answer to most anyone, but vulnerable answers are best saved for only those people who you can trust with more intimate details of your life. You have vetted them, and you quite convinced of their trustworthiness.

Vulnerable Answer: Okay, I’ve been feeling like I’ve let my family down because I could be making more money and giving them a better quality of life, but I’m working on my attitude and trying to find other ways to show them how much I love them.

Some things are best kept in private, while others can be shouted from the rooftops, and if you have promised a friend to be discrete with the sensitive details of their life, by all means, do so. Unless you are a priest, you may be lawfully compelled to testify under oath, but in the absence of such a court order, honor your friend’s request and keep it to yourself.

To trust your friend means you believe that your friend will keep those things which you have shared in confidentiality will remain safely guarded by your friend, and your friend believes you to be trustworthy in kind.

Everything You Believe is True

This one thing you know for sure, everything you believe is true. You are so convinced of it that you are willing to testify under oath in court to convince a jury or your peers of it. You believe what you think is true so much that you will gladly shout it from the rooftops, engage in arguments with strangers who dare question you, or defend your truth, even if at the cost of your own life.

If you look back at your life, you will notice that there were instances where what you believed to be true changed dramatically or instantly upon your access to new information which changed the way you thought about something.

Once a belief changes, a domino-effect takes place, one thought topples its neighboring thought in a complicated chain of successive transition as entire concepts of thought are dismantled and rebuilt based on your new information or experience.

Following this process, not unlike a rebirth, your new thought patterns are formed, solidified, and you believe something else to be true, and so it is. And in that moment the whole world changes.

It would not be unusual for you to have second thoughts about your expansion of knowledge and belief, even to have remorse or guilt regarding what you had believed prior to your mind-change.

You might even think something, like

“I can’t believe I believed in a lie.”

We are programmed to think of anything that we don’t believe in as an untruth, or in the extreme, a lie.

If you have discovered anything by now, you know that truth is not black and white. Truth is always expressed in shades of gray, and you, yes you, are the determining factor in what truth is at any given time.

Just try to nail down any philosopher to any distinctive and limited idea of any “truth” and they are often geared-up and ready to act as the “devil’s advocate” in response. They often have a propensity (or training) to blow away any absolute thought or principle, even if they agree with your point of view.

They are likely to reply with something, like, “Yes, I agree with you, but what about in the case of…?” as they challenge your idea, which may be solid as a rock, and permeate your absolute truth with holes that make you think there are certainly exceptions to any hard and fast rule or idea.

And there are.

Change any number of circumstances, and any immutable truth begins to breakdown.

But what about that thing that you believed in the past that you no longer believe to be true?

You feel bad about wasting your time, effort, emotional investment, and maybe even financial support in the belief of something that you no longer believe to be true.

Instead of beating yourself up over having believed in something in the past that may not be aligned with you in the now, think of truth as not being absolute. Instead, think of it as being in the Truth Continuum.

Truth is always a moving target, and it is never untrue or a lie. Just because any truth is not true for you in the here and now at your place in time and space, does not mean that it is not true somewhere else in time and space, or highly held to as immutable truth to someone else now, or in the past.

All truth is evolutionary thought, and it changes as you grow and change.

Therefore, do not limit others in what they choose to believe. Respect others just as you would expect to be respected for what you believe to be true, and don’t think of it as a personal attack if someone challenges what you believe or doesn’t agree with your point of view.

truth is like a garden with all varieties of flowers in bloom — Truth is like a garden with all varieties of flowers in bloom

Think of truth not as a single red rose but as a beautiful garden with all varieties and colors of flowers in bloom. When you do, it is all there to be enjoyed, cherished, and shared, without disrespect or malice of intent.

One day, you might prefer the rose, another day, a bright daisy, and you would never feel bad about someone loving a sunflower at any moment in time, even if you have no interest in the sunflower.

There was a time when I loved dandelions. Even though they don’t do it for me anymore, when I see one, I still remember how fondly I used to think of them.

Truth. Stop and enjoy the full beauty of the garden in bloom.

It Is Not True Or It Is True

It is like you have these two choices, either it is not true, or it is true. So, which is it? I hear a lot of people arguing about what is not true and what is true. Is truth absolute? We fight for our right to defend it, as it separates us one from the other, and some are even ready and willing to commit murder in the defense of what is true.

What is truth? When you believe in something so much that it must be “true?” And what is belief? Abraham says, “Belief is only a thought that you keep thinking.”

If you think about it, you can probably think back to a tightly held belief that you knew was true. In fact, you would bet your life on it, even defend your belief and risk your life for it. Why? Because it represented the truth.

I know that was me. For me, love and belief go hand-in-hand, and I would fight, even risk my own life, in the defense of true love, or the truth. (Oh, the self-righteousness of youth.)

We are so polarized by this idea of defending the truth, that we, as a people, can hardly communicate about some ideas without risking conflict.

Why can’t we all be right?

I think about our forefathers, the founders of The United States of America, how brave they were to think they could establish a country that was free. An environment where people could have freedom of thought, expression, and belief, without risk of being forced to fit into social molds.

If I were around then, I would have been overjoyed to have been invited to participate in developing such an environment. They had such a good idea. But like all attempts to establish a Utopian society, it’s just too difficult to maintain on our world at the moment.

I like the idea of loving in a world with freedom of thought, expression, and belief, so much, that I do what I can to create such a world around me. I do my best to honor what others think, what they do, and what they believe, even if their point of view is vastly different from what I think, do, or believe.

Even so, I do occasionally catch myself being assertive about what I think, do, or believe, and when I do, I quickly back down and remember that everything, every thought that has ever been thought and every belief which has ever been believed is in the truth continuum. That is to say, everything is, or has been, truth at some time or place in time and space.

So, what’s the big deal?

Just because I am not in alignment with someone else’s truth doesn’t mean whatever it is isn’t true.

When I look back and think of all the things I’ve fervently believed in the past, I could feel bad about being so judgmental or could easily fall into judgment of myself because I should have known better, and certainly do now, because I have new information that I didn’t have back then.

But in the truth continuum, all things are true. So, the things that I believed to be true were true, and they are still true for someone, somewhere, and I honor that. It lets me off the hook with myself, and with others as well.

It’s not about asserting, “It is not true,” or, “It is true.” It’s more about your right to be you.

The next time you feel compelled to debate over what’s right or wrong, you might consider thinking (and even saying out loud), “That’s interesting,” instead of asserting your point of view over someone else’s. And isn’t someone else’s point of view interesting? I find different ideas that people are passionate about fascinating.

As we, as humans, continue to grow and evolve, there will be a lot more of this lifestyle of tolerance without judgment, and there will a lot less, assertion, or compulsion to control others. The natural state of being will be peace and harmony.

I remember a tenet from the sixties and seventies that promoted the idea that you should be free to do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t infringe on the rights of others to do likewise. That thought resonated with me. It’s like we have all these laws to control each other, when we could be just allowing each other just to “be.”

While Jesus had His moments of telling people what to believe and what was right and wrong, He hit the nail on the head (carpenter reference) and summed it up beautifully, when He said, “love your neighbor as yourself.” That is really the key to the evolved world that is coming our way.

Later in life, John Hospers introduced me to Libertarianism, and in that moment, I thought, “Whoa, I thought I was the only one who had thoughts, like this.”

I’m not promoting any political agenda. Nor am I saying that anyone is right or wrong. All I’m saying is that I had run into a group of contemporary thinkers who were thinking in the same way as I was at the time, and I found comfort in that.

As we evolve, politics, as we know it, will look very different, because the current state of affairs will not be sustainable in an enlightened world.

Maybe you can find a place in your heart to continue to let go, allowing the evolutionary process to continue and give peace a chance.

May God bless you in all you think, do, and believe.

Oh, and by the way, “You’re absolutely right.”

Truth Continuum

The Truth Continuum encompasses the entire range of all truth in its many forms. All truths are included such as those in this third-dimension reality’s present tense, as well as past, and future truths, and any truths known or unknown to exist in other dimensions. In the Truth Continuum, all thoughts are true in one respect or another.

At least a primal understanding of the Truth Continuum is necessary when working with people who have a variety of troubles which mostly revolve around truth in varying stages from within the Truth Continuum.
The client or patient believes something, and while everything he or she believes exists in the Truth Continuum, not everything he or she believes serves him or her in the achievement of his or her highest and best.

This applies even to you as a coach, consultant, or counselor. You will have certain beliefs which serve you at this present moment in time, and even the things which you hold tightly to are subject to change due to new emerging data and your own personal evolution.

The first agreement of true communication in the work of helping others is to compassionately empathize with your patient or client. Allowing your patient or client to believe whatever they believe with 100% accuracy wherever they may be in their life’s journey.

For everything that has ever been thought of has been, is, or will be, verifiable as truth in this or any other time and/or dimension.

It is your responsibility to understand and allow all possibilities of truth to be as you work with the people you are helping without judgment. Even if something doesn’t appear to be true to you, you allow the person you’re trying to help to fully believe whatever it is that he or she believes.

Many have found relief in adopting the idea that the truth of any peoples, believed at any time, all exist within the Truth Continuum, and it is all allowed to be without judgment.

A sense of peace and harmony falls over all subscribers to the Truth Continuum, as others are allowed to believe whatever truth resonates with them at any time, and also allows people to change their minds, to grow and change their truths as they see appropriate at any time. All this without judgment or ridicule.

Subscribing to the Truth Continuum is not only reserved for professionals and is not for the weak of heart because it takes a lot of wherewithal and courage to allow everything to be true, including whatever you believe and all possibilities of all things.

We have been programmed by society not to believe in the Truth Continuum in an effort to keep us at odds with each other by the invisible self-imposed walls of beliefs which are not unlike unseen prison walls. Inside these walls, we have a false sense of security, beyond them the fear of the unknown prevails.

It’s up to you, will you add the Truth Continuum to your practice to improve your efficacy exponentially, or stay rigid in your black, white, and gray training. To do so, increases the possibilities of diagnosis and treatment, allowing people to be whoever they are, wherever they are, believing anything they believe without judgment.

For those who are part of the current evolution of the human being, understanding and allowance of the Truth Continuum is an integral part of this expansion and growth.

You Are Always Right

Everything you believe to be true is true until that moment that you decide to believe something else to be true. You are truth, and truth is always changing and evolving, as you are exposed to new, or emerging information, which causes the truth continuum to shift and adapt to new paradigms. No matter where you are in the truth continuum, you are always in the continuum of truth, therefore you are always right.

Everything is truth which exists in the matrix of truth, so no matter what you think or believe, you are always right. You have nothing to defend. You never have to apologize for being in a different subsection of the truth continuum from anyone else. You are never believing in a non-truth, only in a truth location that is differentiated from another in the truth matrix possibly quite different than a previous truth coordinate where your attention may have been focused previously.

The truth continuum is always evolving and infinitely ever-expanding. It is not a stagnant, definitive, or limited set of data, as much as we would love it to be. There’s a comfort in having the fantasy that you can understand all there is about any given thing. This is impossible in the continuum of truth because every time you discover a new truth, a hundred thousand other truths are born in the expansion.

It can be somewhat confusing when you realize that other people, every other person, is at a different location inside the continuum of truth, and no two people can be at the same location in the truth continuum at the same time.

Truths represent specific coordinates inside the truth continuum. The truth continuum is not limited to 2D coordinates, such as longitude and latitude. Each truth includes a specific address with at least a 4D, WXYZ coordinate.

When you become aware of the truth continuum, it doesn’t make any sense to wrap your head around the concept of having any need to demand that anyone have a similar collection of truth addresses compiled to match yours.

Yet, there are the societal designers who exert a great deal of energy to keep us from understanding the vastness of the truth continuum and seek to use specific truths to keep us separated from each other.

You have been programmed from birth to believe in specific truths and defend them with a high degree of enthusiasm. You have been taught to challenge the beliefs or truths highly held by others and exert a great deal of emotional effort to persuade those who are not in agreement with you to change their truth to match yours.

The psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists seem to dominate the positions of the persuaders who are the most effective converters of others by lording over or bullying others to subject themselves to their particular ideas, beliefs, or limited collection of truths. The idea of letting you think for yourself will send a persuader into a rage, and he or she might even be willing to exert berating, shame, disrespect, intimidation, restraint, or force, even lethal force, to punish others for not adhering to their set of truths.

It’s as if the designers of our social matrix would do anything to keep us as oppositely polarized as possible. Why might they want to keep us divided in any, and as many, way(s) possible? Because we are easier to manage either individually or in groups. These groups are often separated by specific compilations of truths or beliefs.

Easy to manage (control). Not so easy to control: seven-and-a-half-billion enlightened, empowered individuals.

The barbarian tactics of the predatory persuaders are unsustainable amidst the expansive light of growing evolutionary consciousness.

Everything you believe in the continuum of truth is truth and you are always right. Just as you have the right to resonate with the truth you’ve discovered, so should any other person have the right to hold their own truths they have discovered elsewhere in the continuum.

Nothing is more-or-less true, except in your own compilation of truth as you recognize and sort your discoveries for yourself, and your allowance and honoring of anyone else to discover their truth for themselves without judgment is the essence of true love.

Nonetheless, more and more of us are awakening every second of every day, and fewer and fewer of us are falling for the magic tricks of the social designers.

People, just like you and me, are beginning to ask questions, find their own answers, and explore the continuum of truth.

Truth and Integrity

What is integrity? What is it? How does it work and what does it mean to different people in their quest for truth?

Integrity and what it means can look very different, depending on who you are. Integrity is remaining congruent with that greater part of you while maintaining an authentic representation of your self with respect to your journey.

There are very few (possibly no) universal truths on which we as the human race can all agree. Nevertheless, you and I maintain truths that are apparent to each of us, and even these are subject to change as we grow and change. Even two people can view the same incident and report what they’ve seen very differently, based on their perspective and their own life’s experience and language patterns. Unless they have some nefarious motivation their differences are not considered untrue. Just because you’re interpretation of something is different from someone else’s does not mean either one of you, or anyone else is a liar.

It’s highly unlikely that two people could possibly write the same report word for word regarding any incident witnessed due to the fact that we are different people and we all see things differently based on who we are. Our lives, experiences and what is meaningful to us varies immensely among our population, The onus is on you to determine what is truth to you. Certainly there are people who have researched and specialized in different disciplines, but it is up to you what to adopt as truth to you at any given time, remembering that this is always subject to change due to access to new information. Therefore, what was true for you yesterday may not be true for you today.

Being true and congruent with what you currently believe while honoring the right of others to have a contrasting belief is the integrous approach to evaluating truth. You are not responsible for what another person believes. There is no need to change what they believe, as it is up to each person to make their own way and discover their own truths along their own individual journeys.

Your personal vibration and your intuitive heart-mind connection will help you to determine what truth means to you in any given moment, understanding that truth is ever-evolving, there may be moments of uncertainty during the reevaluation process. The more in tune you are with your heart’s frequency vibration, the faster the evolvement of your truth. As your personal vibration continues to raise, so will your perception of higher truths. Temper this personal growth with tolerance, allowing others to do the best they can with what they have without judgment.

An integral portion of your life’s purpose is to observe, nurture and maintain your expanding vision of truth, utilizing your heart’s connection to source to help you discern advancements and their validity to your consciousness.

As you adopt new revelations you may be compelled to share your new insights with others. By all means do so. But do not insist that anyone else see things from your perspective. Let others take what they resonate with as they plant and care for it in their garden of truth. Allow others to let your other seeds of truth which they are not ready for to fall on the ground. You never know which seeds left unattended on the surface will germinate and grow on their own.

Our world and our connection to it is changing. The archaic institutions and systems of control (including our imposed belief systems) are losing their effectiveness and validity. New, expanding and evolutionary thought is the key to the sustainability of our future. You are an active part of this evolution which is taking place at this moment.

Your contribution to help in making the world a better place is discerning your own truth as it emerges and becomes refined in your heart and mind. Being congruent to this process of revelation in integrity is imperative to your ability to contribute.

None of us holds the entirety of all the truth. Each of us maintain our own specialty and only together can we achieve a better understanding of emerging truths, and when we unite in love, together we can achieve a higher vibration and evolutionary expansion affecting the whole world.

Red Pill or Blue Pill?

As you approach life and become more aware and able to see things as they really are, you are able to get a glimpse of how things actually are and you’re discovering that the thoughts, beliefs, ideals and principles that you once revered as undeniable truths are not as they were represented to you.

You start to question things…

Once you’ve discovered that one or more things that have been beat into your head as constructs of thought to control your perception of what is and what is not, it makes you wonder and ask the question,

“What else have I been indoctrinated with?”

You look at things from different perspectives and notice inconsistencies, cracks in the surface which if investigated, lead you to underground chasms filled with data that makes you question even more. You start to realize that much, if not all, that you believed in and held so closely dear to you, are misrepresentations force fed to you in an effort to control your mind, and you start to

Question Everything

As you dig deeper, you find that not only you, but everyone (or almost everyone) you know is also a victim of this massive deception. At first, you become angry at those who have filled your head with all these lies, and then you realize, they, too, are victims of this sinister programming.

They are so embroiled with the lies, that they have no choice but to propagate the deceit. They are so compelled to insist that the lies are true; they are willing to fight, even die, in the defense of it.

What can you do with this awareness?

Good question. It doesn’t take long to figure out, if you tell anyone close to you about your discoveries, they will initiate their protocol to defend their programmed hyperbole by any means necessary. They will make fun of you, intimidate you, or accuse you of losing touch with reality because they have been indoctrinated so pervasively. They may refer you to medical professionals who can prescribe medication which is designed to keep you from questioning your programming. At some point, either literally, or metaphorically, you are faced with a decision of selecting,

The Red Pill or the Blue Pill

The blue pill is the one you’ve been force-fed since birth. You’ve blindly taken your daily dose of blue every day. The blue pill makes you susceptible to all the programming to which you are exposed every day.

The blue pill keeps us fearful and insecure but the taking of it promises to keep us safe and secure as we allow ourselves to wither into complacency and mediocrity.

Most everyone in your world since your emergence on this planet has spent a lifetime taking the blue pill and they know no other way to be. They believe that if anyone were to question the blue, they must be corrected, exiled or possibly even exterminated.

Then there is the red pill. The red pill neutralizes the effects of the blue pill and allows you to see things as they really are. Once you have taken the red pill, you are blasted into a shocking state of confusion, because you are so used to being under the influence of the blue pill.

It’s no wonder that many, who have experimented with the red pill, quickly abandon the idea and rush to re-ingest the blue pill.

If you decide to keep taking the red pill you will no doubt start seeking others who are taking the red pill and you may feel a sort of kinship with redders whom you might think are like-minded. Just be aware that even among the redders, there are still users who while they are expanding are still dragging attributes of the blues along with them. (We all do this to some degree as we are on the path to enlightenment.)

The red journey is one to be taken by you, alone, though you may commiserate and frolic with redders along the way, keep in mind to cease to expand will lead to stagnation. And while not progressing or continuing to evolve can be somewhat comfortable, the decision must be yours whether you will subside into complacency, or continue to grow and expand.

Perception Interpretation

How many times have you found yourself offended by the words and deeds of another person that may have been unwarranted? Even if you knew your feelings were likely unjust, still you found yourself filled with angst and fury and lashed out or made a rash decision based on the emotional whirlpool pulling you down to your lowest desperate state.

So you strike out, do or say something in your defense because in this emotional chaos, you can think of nothing more than self preservation at all costs.

You rationalize your thoughts and actions based on the truth you are able to extract from the all the data that you have access to. Using your perception you convert the results of your research and statistics to come to a cognitive conclusion justifying the torrential chaos you felt in that moment based on your interpretation.

This happens every day, and how can you blame anyone for perceiving everyday occurrences via their individual perception? You can’t. Why? Because we can only determine that is really truth from within. Only we know what is true for us based on our own interpretation of the information available to us at the time.

In example, take a look at Jasmine and Darnell. They are in their early thirties, recently involved in a romantic courtship and things are going so very well. They are professing their love for each other and even talking about spending the rest of their lives together.

On their six month anniversary, Darnell makes reservations for a quaint bistro, picks up a card and a teddy bear with a heart on its tummy and presents them to Jasmine when he comes calling to pick her up for their scheduled date.

Jasmine greets him at the door enthusiastically. Darnell holds out the bear and card to Jasmine, as her countenance immediately shifts to contempt and anger. She throws the bear into the street, rips the card into pieces and throws the pieces at Darnell’s face and kicks him off the porch while shouting disrespectful obscenities and slams the door as Darnell falls to the ground.

After driving away and pulling over to the side of the road, Darnell texts Jasmine, which does not go through, then tries to call to discover his number’s already been blocked.

Looking for emotional support, the couple reaches out to their friends in an effort to cope with the ensuing chaos. Jasmine tells her friends that Darnell is a manipulative predator, nothing short of a rapist, while Darnell spins tales of Jasmine’s severe mental disorders. Friends rally around the couple. Damages follow, some that are irreparable.

Knowing the details of Jasmine’s struggle with her past doesn’t justify her outburst and reaction to the otherwise innocuous display of affection. Issues she’s been battling within since childhood predicted her response with high-precision accuracy. Likewise, Darnell’s accusations of Jasmine’s mental instability were based on triggers from his past.

From their perspective they are both telling stories based on the truth they believe, as real to them as gravity, yet things aren’t always what they seem and neither of them have as much information as I have (purposely filtered) additionally I am certain there is much more information yet to be uncovered.

Jasmine would fare much better in the same circumstance today, because she has worked though many of the unresolved issues of her past and while she still tends to be quite impulsive, is training herself to pause (and count to three to herself) before responding, reacting or pressing “send” when she is feeling overwhelmed. This brief hesitation gives her just enough space to consider possibilities, and ramifications and helps her to manage her truth and consequences.

Don’t judge someone based on surface information because you may have no idea what lies beneath the surface. We all have lives consisting of a plethora of past experiences, beliefs, and misinterpretations the sum of which has gotten us this far. After all, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. This is why we are cautioned to never judge a book by its cover.

If we are to have any faith in our ability to successfully share this planet with other inhabitants, we must find ways to stop dividing us one against the other, discover how to get along with each other and accept that we are all parts of the same soup, even though we all are so very different.

No one is blaming you or me for our perception or interpretation, because in heat of the moment it’s all we have to determine what is truth as it influences how i feel about you, how you feel about me and how we feel about ourselves.

In fact in all things perception is reality and subject to change pending accumulation of additional data.

Pausing in an effort to avoid making a rash decision or burning a bridge beyond repair like Jasmine does now, might be sound advice for all of us.

All you can do is to try not to judge or react too promptly, accept others for who they are and where they are at in their life’s journey and discover how to make yourself happy as you live a better life. A little tolerance goes a long way.

For me, I try to imagine what it must be like to the person who is reacting, put myself in their shoes and look for the love. While I haven’t perfected this method because I too, can react in self defense in the heat of the moment… but as immediately as possible look with empathy for love in the wings.

We’re all in process, for if we weren’t, we would not be. Let’s make the best of it.

Truth and Consequences

Once you get to a point in your journey when you are attaining a level of personal integrity, you also begin to gain a desire to be open and honest – which is a good thing – but it doesn’t take long ‘til you find that telling the truth and being totally honest can come at a very high price.

Being totally honest is an authentic urge as you continue to grow as being true to yourself makes you want to be truthful to others also. One would think that since being brutally honest with yourself would indicate that being brutally honest with others would be just as effective. Yeah, not so much.

The more radically open and honest you are the fewer people will be attracted to you. Unless your goal is to completely isolate yourself from society, then you might consider tempering your honesty with a snippet from the Hippocratic Oath, “To do no harm.”

Otherwise, an unbridled purveyor of truth might be considered as arrogant, self-centered, antagonistic, whacked (crazy) and possibly deserving of being safely locked away in an asylum. To counter public opinion about the truth you desire to share, simply being considerate of others can be a highly effective approach when applied to communication that might otherwise be difficult or hurt someone’s feelings.

This is a skill wielded by the savvy therapist, to be able to challenge the patient with contrarian ideas in order to break a particular pattern, without approaching the idea from a full frontal attack. Some empathy in this situation will go a long way. Consider the person you’re involved in the conversation with, use a bit of imagination and try to put yourself in his or her shoes. How does it feel to be that person, in this moment, with respect to the life he/she has lived up to this point?

Keep in mind, you want to tell the truth without overawe and do no harm in the process.

Simply taking a moment to observe your breathing, connect with your heart, thoughtfully and purposefully setting the intention to effectively and sincerely communicate heart-to-heart prior to sharing will help to set the tone for a potentially abrasive interaction.

To avoid the pitfalls or consequences of being blunt, a more ‘round the bush approach may be a more affective tactic, especially if you would like to avoid alienation, desiring a more positive outcome.

As you become more open, honest and intimate your thoughts in a sincerely truthful manner, you find increasing feelings of satisfaction, joy and fulfillment from this advanced perspective. Your whole outlook begins to improve, as does your lifestyle, you live a healthier and enjoy a longer lifespan.

If you can learn how to honestly tell the truth with respect and honor for the life and perspective of the recipient, you will be respected as an authentic person who speaks with authority and integrity, while being kind and sensitive.

The more you do it, the less intimidated you are about sharing and the more courageous you become about intimating important details to others.

When your kindness predicates your sharing honestly, you come from a place of love and compassion and people with whom you are interacting feel as though you care about them, when the very same information would have been rejected and you shunned, without first setting your authentic intention.

Still, there will be times when even with the best intentions and efforts, your honesty will be rejected, but that says more about the state of the receiver than you. Some people cannot handle the truth and build protective walls around themselves to disallow any ideas that may seem incongruent to them.

Allow them to be where they are. After all, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

Maybe sometime in the future, they will be more receptive, depending on their life’s journey.

In the meantime, tell the truth, understand there will be consequences and minimize the negative ones.

In all honesty and love.

Relationship Truth and the Soulmate List

Okay, you asked for it, so here it is: The truth about romantic relationships is that most of them (the successful ones) take work. Sure you have to have all the components…

Broken heart

First you have to start without a broken heart. If you’re looking for mister or miss right, you have to be ready to have a relationship. That means, if you’ve been in one prior, you’d best get a handle on recovery from your previous romantic episode before you go running headlong into the next one, otherwise, you’re just not ready. That’s the truth.

Lonely

“But I’m lonely and don’t want to be alone.”

Okay, I get that. But how long do you expect someone to stick around if they are unable to stand the whirlwind you bring to the table. If he/she reminds you of your ex- either you’re still hung up on your ex- (and not ready to be seeing anyone. See Broken Heart, above) or you’re attracting the same type of person (and how did that work the last time?).

Get Busy

Get busy doing the things that make you feel good, the things that you love. If you’re feeling good all the time, you don’t have the time (or energy) to feel depressed or lonely. I try to stay busy, focused on my clients and spending quality time with my friends (who, unfortunately all are paired up, but fun nonetheless). I can always relax and take time off for her, after I’ve found her.

Awakenings

When you start to realize these things, you can either forge forward with little regard to them or start to wake up to the music. The title of the song you want to hear from within is, “Do Something Different,” or learn to find happiness in the same old types of relationships that you’ve had in the past.

I have this formula that I use; maybe you will find it helpful for you (maybe not). I call it my

Soulmate List

I have a list of fifty-or-so attributes that I am looking for. In an extra-large font, it takes up three pages.

I came up with the idea, while working with a coach and mentor in Florida, who had used some of these techniques to find her life-long soulmate (that’s what I’m looking for, too) and I’ve added my own tweaks to form a new system. Briefly, it goes, like this:

1a. To first make a list of all the things that you didn’t like in the men in your past relationship.

1b. Then go over the list and translate those into a list of positive attributes (the opposites) that you would look for in Mr. Right. (Ditch the negative list.)

2. Next, make a list of all the things that you liked (or thought you liked) in the men in your previous relationships.

3. Combine the two lists of positive attributes, and you’re almost there…

4. Then, being as specific as you can, think of all the attributes that you would like that aren’t already on the list. (The Floridian coach cautioned me not to leave anything off, because she had neglected to put down, “Physically healthy,” on her list, and wished she had, later.)

Then she says read the list every day, out-loud, once in the morning and once in the evening, and you will get what you confess.

I told the story to my grief counselor, he thinks it’s a great idea and is going to start using that model in his practice.

If you decide to give-it-a-go, I’d like to see your list. (It’s also a great way to turn around some of the pain of past relationships and turn them into positive attributes. It keeps you from focusing on the garbage, leading to real healing.)

The Real Truth

Finally, the real truth is this: My intention was to write and create a book based on this system called, “The Soul Mate List,” with the intention of telling my world’s greatest love story of all time and describe how I found the love of my life quickly and easily using my system.

I find that this system has been highly effective in preventing me from being sidetracked by potential romances that were not my highest and best (nor I theirs). = WIN

On the other hand, seven years… No soul mate… LOL