Just as deceitful as right out telling a lie, is the lie of omission, where you actually refrain from saying anything, as an alternative to blatantly lying.
If you feel your personal exposure is too great to be honest and lying feels like too extreme an option, you might opt to initiate a deception by omission, to deceive by saying nothing. And if you do, a peculiar thing seems to take place. In most cases, even if with the best intentions, even though you have said nothing, people who have lies of omission between them tend to drift apart.
You can justify to yourself, “Well, at least I didn’t lie,” but the consequences are dire, if not worse than outright lying.
By withholding the truth, you also withhold vulnerability, love, and connection. Any authentic connection which may have existed between two individuals where one or each harbor lies of omission continues to erode until nothing is left.
Not being able to live life as an open and honest individual could very well keep you from achieving your highest and best, from having all the desires of your heart. All the life to live that is your divine birthright withheld from you as you practice deception by withholding.
Oh, you may have some degree of success as measured by your peers, but true love, joy, and happiness will remain elusive experiences and expressions in this life.
A deep connection between two individuals includes celebrating each individuality, understanding that no two people are identical, allowing and honoring those things that make each of us unique. That means that there will be times when we experience separation having different past experiences, differing points of view, and moments of uncomfortableness, as we are equally vulnerable and honest which strengthens the relationship.
No one can tell you what is true. Only you can know what truth at any given time is, for everything you believe is true. You know it. You can feel it, and you must find a way to express your truth. You should be able to attract those who are willing to listen to those things that are important to you without judgment, and you likewise in loving reciprocity.
If you are honest, you are true to and honest with yourself, then you can speak your truth with integrity and honor, which can (and should) make you vulnerable. Being transparent and honest leaves you at risk of being disagreed with, challenged, attacked, or left wide open for haters to exploit.
Honesty can include the truth in general, as follows:
Question: How are you feeling today?
Honest Answer: Okay, I’ve been better, but seeing you makes me feel better right now.
You can give an honest answer to most anyone, but vulnerable answers are best saved for only those people who you can trust with more intimate details of your life. You have vetted them, and you quite convinced of their trustworthiness.
Vulnerable Answer: Okay, I’ve been feeling like I’ve let my family down because I could be making more money and giving them a better quality of life, but I’m working on my attitude and trying to find other ways to show them how much I love them.
Some things are best kept in private, while others can be shouted from the rooftops, and if you have promised a friend to be discrete with the sensitive details of their life, by all means, do so. Unless you are a priest, you may be lawfully compelled to testify under oath, but in the absence of such a court order, honor your friend’s request and keep it to yourself.
To trust your friend means you believe that your friend will keep those things which you have shared in confidentiality will remain safely guarded by your friend, and your friend believes you to be trustworthy in kind.