Truth and Integrity

What is integrity? What is it? How does it work and what does it mean to different people in their quest for truth?

Integrity and what it means can look very different, depending on who you are. Integrity is remaining congruent with that greater part of you while maintaining an authentic representation of your self with respect to your journey.

There are very few (possibly no) universal truths on which we as the human race can all agree. Nevertheless, you and I maintain truths that are apparent to each of us, and even these are subject to change as we grow and change. Even two people can view the same incident and report what they’ve seen very differently, based on their perspective and their own life’s experience and language patterns. Unless they have some nefarious motivation their differences are not considered untrue. Just because you’re interpretation of something is different from someone else’s does not mean either one of you, or anyone else is a liar.

It’s highly unlikely that two people could possibly write the same report word for word regarding any incident witnessed due to the fact that we are different people and we all see things differently based on who we are. Our lives, experiences and what is meaningful to us varies immensely among our population, The onus is on you to determine what is truth to you. Certainly there are people who have researched and specialized in different disciplines, but it is up to you what to adopt as truth to you at any given time, remembering that this is always subject to change due to access to new information. Therefore, what was true for you yesterday may not be true for you today.

Being true and congruent with what you currently believe while honoring the right of others to have a contrasting belief is the integrous approach to evaluating truth. You are not responsible for what another person believes. There is no need to change what they believe, as it is up to each person to make their own way and discover their own truths along their own individual journeys.

Your personal vibration and your intuitive heart-mind connection will help you to determine what truth means to you in any given moment, understanding that truth is ever-evolving, there may be moments of uncertainty during the reevaluation process. The more in tune you are with your heart’s frequency vibration, the faster the evolvement of your truth. As your personal vibration continues to raise, so will your perception of higher truths. Temper this personal growth with tolerance, allowing others to do the best they can with what they have without judgment.

An integral portion of your life’s purpose is to observe, nurture and maintain your expanding vision of truth, utilizing your heart’s connection to source to help you discern advancements and their validity to your consciousness.

As you adopt new revelations you may be compelled to share your new insights with others. By all means do so. But do not insist that anyone else see things from your perspective. Let others take what they resonate with as they plant and care for it in their garden of truth. Allow others to let your other seeds of truth which they are not ready for to fall on the ground. You never know which seeds left unattended on the surface will germinate and grow on their own.

Our world and our connection to it is changing. The archaic institutions and systems of control (including our imposed belief systems) are losing their effectiveness and validity. New, expanding and evolutionary thought is the key to the sustainability of our future. You are an active part of this evolution which is taking place at this moment.

Your contribution to help in making the world a better place is discerning your own truth as it emerges and becomes refined in your heart and mind. Being congruent to this process of revelation in integrity is imperative to your ability to contribute.

None of us holds the entirety of all the truth. Each of us maintain our own specialty and only together can we achieve a better understanding of emerging truths, and when we unite in love, together we can achieve a higher vibration and evolutionary expansion affecting the whole world.

Red Pill or Blue Pill?

As you approach life and become more aware and able to see things as they really are, you are able to get a glimpse of how things actually are and you’re discovering that the thoughts, beliefs, ideals and principles that you once revered as undeniable truths are not as they were represented to you.

You start to question things…

Once you’ve discovered that one or more things that have been beat into your head as constructs of thought to control your perception of what is and what is not, it makes you wonder and ask the question,

“What else have I been indoctrinated with?”

You look at things from different perspectives and notice inconsistencies, cracks in the surface which if investigated, lead you to underground chasms filled with data that makes you question even more. You start to realize that much, if not all, that you believed in and held so closely dear to you, are misrepresentations force fed to you in an effort to control your mind, and you start to

Question Everything

As you dig deeper, you find that not only you, but everyone (or almost everyone) you know is also a victim of this massive deception. At first, you become angry at those who have filled your head with all these lies, and then you realize, they, too, are victims of this sinister programming.

They are so embroiled with the lies, that they have no choice but to propagate the deceit. They are so compelled to insist that the lies are true; they are willing to fight, even die, in the defense of it.

What can you do with this awareness?

Good question. It doesn’t take long to figure out, if you tell anyone close to you about your discoveries, they will initiate their protocol to defend their programmed hyperbole by any means necessary. They will make fun of you, intimidate you, or accuse you of losing touch with reality because they have been indoctrinated so pervasively. They may refer you to medical professionals who can prescribe medication which is designed to keep you from questioning your programming. At some point, either literally, or metaphorically, you are faced with a decision of selecting,

The Red Pill or the Blue Pill

The blue pill is the one you’ve been force-fed since birth. You’ve blindly taken your daily dose of blue every day. The blue pill makes you susceptible to all the programming to which you are exposed every day.

The blue pill keeps us fearful and insecure but the taking of it promises to keep us safe and secure as we allow ourselves to wither into complacency and mediocrity.

Most everyone in your world since your emergence on this planet has spent a lifetime taking the blue pill and they know no other way to be. They believe that if anyone were to question the blue, they must be corrected, exiled or possibly even exterminated.

Then there is the red pill. The red pill neutralizes the effects of the blue pill and allows you to see things as they really are. Once you have taken the red pill, you are blasted into a shocking state of confusion, because you are so used to being under the influence of the blue pill.

It’s no wonder that many, who have experimented with the red pill, quickly abandon the idea and rush to re-ingest the blue pill.

If you decide to keep taking the red pill you will no doubt start seeking others who are taking the red pill and you may feel a sort of kinship with redders whom you might think are like-minded. Just be aware that even among the redders, there are still users who while they are expanding are still dragging attributes of the blues along with them. (We all do this to some degree as we are on the path to enlightenment.)

The red journey is one to be taken by you, alone, though you may commiserate and frolic with redders along the way, keep in mind to cease to expand will lead to stagnation. And while not progressing or continuing to evolve can be somewhat comfortable, the decision must be yours whether you will subside into complacency, or continue to grow and expand.

Perception Interpretation

How many times have you found yourself offended by the words and deeds of another person that may have been unwarranted? Even if you knew your feelings were likely unjust, still you found yourself filled with angst and fury and lashed out or made a rash decision based on the emotional whirlpool pulling you down to your lowest desperate state.

So you strike out, do or say something in your defense because in this emotional chaos, you can think of nothing more than self preservation at all costs.

You rationalize your thoughts and actions based on the truth you are able to extract from the all the data that you have access to. Using your perception you convert the results of your research and statistics to come to a cognitive conclusion justifying the torrential chaos you felt in that moment based on your interpretation.

perception interpretation what is truth rash decision perception is reality

This happens every day, and how can you blame anyone for perceiving everyday occurrences via their individual perception? You can’t. Why? Because we can only determine that is really truth from within. Only we know what is true for us based on our own interpretation of the information available to us at the time.

In example, take a look at Jasmine and Darnell. They are in their early thirties, recently involved in a romantic courtship and things are going so very well. They are professing their love for each other and even talking about spending the rest of their lives together.

On their six month anniversary, Darnell makes reservations for a quaint bistro, picks up a card and a teddy bear with a heart on its tummy and presents them to Jasmine when he comes calling to pick her up for their scheduled date.

Jasmine greets him at the door enthusiastically. Darnell holds out the bear and card to Jasmine, as her countenance immediately shifts to contempt and anger. She throws the bear into the street, rips the card into pieces and throws the pieces at Darnell’s face and kicks him off the porch while shouting disrespectful obscenities and slams the door as Darnell falls to the ground.

After driving away and pulling over to the side of the road, Darnell texts Jasmine, which does not go through, then tries to call to discover his number’s already been blocked.

Looking for emotional support, the couple reaches out to their friends in an effort to cope with the ensuing chaos. Jasmine tells her friends that Darnell is a manipulative predator, nothing short of a rapist, while Darnell spins tales of Jasmine’s severe mental disorders. Friends rally around the couple. Damages follow, some that are irreparable.

Knowing the details of Jasmine’s struggle with her past doesn’t justify her outburst and reaction to the otherwise innocuous display of affection. Issues she’s been battling within since childhood predicted her response with high-precision accuracy. Likewise, Darnell’s accusations of Jasmine’s mental instability were based on triggers from his past.

From their perspective they are both telling stories based on the truth they believe, as real to them as gravity, yet things aren’t always what they seem and neither of them have as much information as I have (purposely filtered) additionally I am certain there is much more information yet to be uncovered.

Jasmine would fare much better in the same circumstance today, because she has worked though many of the unresolved issues of her past and while she still tends to be quite impulsive, is training herself to pause (and count to three to herself) before responding, reacting or pressing “send” when she is feeling overwhelmed. This brief hesitation gives her just enough space to consider possibilities, ramifications and helps her to manage her truth and consequences.

Don’t judge someone based on surface information because you may have no idea what lies beneath the surface. We all have lives consisting of a plethora of past experiences, beliefs and misinterpretations the sum of which has gotten us this far. After all, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. This is why we are cautioned to never judge a book by its cover.

If we are to have any faith in our ability to successfully share this planet with other inhabitants, we must find ways to stop dividing us one against the other, discover how to get along with each other and accept that we are all parts of the same soup, even though we all are so very different.

No one is blaming you or me for our perception or interpretation, because in heat of the moment it’s all we have to determine what is truth as it influences how i feel about you, how you feel about me and how we feel about ourselves.

In fact in all things perception is reality and subject to change pending accumulation of additional data.

Pausing in an effort to avoid making a rash decision or burning a bridge beyond repair like Jasmine does now, might be sound advice for all of us.

All you can do is to try not to judge or react too promptly, accept others for who they are and where they are at in their life’s journey and discover how to make yourself happy as you live a better life. A little tolerance goes a long way.

For me, I try to imagine what it must be like to the person who is reacting, put myself in their shoes and look for the love. While I haven’t perfected this method because I too, can react in self defense in the heat of the moment… but as immediately as possible look with empathy for love in the wings.

We’re all in process, for if we weren’t, we would not be. Let’s make the best of it.

Truth and Consequences

Once you get to a point in your journey when you are attaining a level of personal integrity, you also begin to gain a desire to be open and honest – which is a good thing – but it doesn’t take long ‘til you find that telling the truth and being totally honest can come at a very high price.

Being totally honest is an authentic urge as you continue to grow as being true to yourself makes you want to be truthful to others also. One would think that since being brutally honest with yourself would indicate that being brutally honest with others would be just as effective. Yeah, not so much.

truth honesty consequences imagination sincerity

The more radically open and honest you are the fewer people will be attracted to you. Unless your goal is to completely isolate yourself from society, then you might consider tempering your honesty with a snippet from the Hippocratic Oath, “To do no harm.”

Otherwise, an unbridled purveyor of truth might be considered as arrogant, self-centered, antagonistic, whacked (crazy) and possibly deserving of being safely locked away in an asylum. To counter public opinion about the truth you desire to share, simply being considerate of others can be a highly effective approach when applied to communication that might otherwise be difficult or hurt someone’s feelings.

This is a skill wielded by the savvy therapist, to be able to challenge the patient with contrarian ideas in order to break a particular pattern, without approaching the idea from a full frontal attack. Some empathy in this situation will go a long way. Consider the person you’re involved in the conversation with, use a bit of imagination and try to put yourself in his or her shoes. How does it feel to be that person, in this moment, with respect to the life he/she has lived up to this point?

Keep in mind, you want to tell the truth without overawe and do no harm in the process.

Simply taking a moment to observe your breathing, connect with your heart, thoughtfully and purposefully setting the intention to effectively and sincerely communicate heart-to-heart prior to sharing will help to set the tone for a potentially abrasive interaction.

To avoid the pitfalls or consequences of being blunt, a more ‘round the bush approach may be a more affective tactic, especially if you would like to avoid alienation, desiring a more positive outcome.

As you become more open, honest and intimate your thoughts in a sincerely truthful manner, you find increasing feelings of satisfaction, joy and fulfillment from this advanced perspective. Your whole outlook begins to improve, as does your lifestyle, you live a healthier and enjoy a longer lifespan.

If you can learn how to honestly tell the truth with respect and honor for the life and perspective of the recipient, you will be respected as an authentic person who speaks with authority and integrity, while being kind and sensitive.

The more you do it, the less intimidated you are about sharing and the more courageous you become about intimating important details to others.

When your kindness predicates your sharing honestly, you come from a place of love and compassion and people with whom you are interacting feel as though you care about them, when the very same information would have been rejected and you shunned, without first setting your authentic intention.

Still, there will be times when even with the best intentions and efforts, your honesty will be rejected, but that says more about the state of the receiver than you. Some people cannot handle the truth and build protective walls around themselves to disallow any ideas that may seem incongruent to them.

Allow them to be where they are. After all, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

Maybe sometime in the future, they will be more receptive, depending on their life’s journey.

In the meantime, tell the truth, understand there will be consequences and minimize the negative ones.

In all honesty and love.

Relationship Truth and the Soulmate List

Okay, you asked for it, so here it is: The truth about romantic relationships is that most of them (the successful ones) take work. Sure you have to have all the components…

Broken heart

First you have to start without a broken heart. If you’re looking for mister or miss right, you have to be ready to have a relationship. That means, if you’ve been in one prior, you’d best get a handle on recovery from your previous romantic episode before you go running headlong into the next one, otherwise, you’re just not ready. That’s the truth.

Lonely

“But I’m lonely and don’t want to be alone.”

Okay, I get that. But how long do you expect someone to stick around if they are unable to stand the whirlwind you bring to the table. If he/she reminds you of your ex- either you’re still hung up on your ex- (and not ready to be seeing anyone. See Broken Heart, above) or you’re attracting the same type of person (and how did that work the last time?).

Get Busy

Get busy doing the things that make you feel good, the things that you love. If you’re feeling good all the time, you don’t have the time (or energy) to feel depressed or lonely. I try to stay busy, focused on my clients and spending quality time with my friends (who, unfortunately all are paired up, but fun nonetheless). I can always relax and take time off for her, after I’ve found her.

Awakenings

When you start to realize these things, you can either forge forward with little regard to them or start to wake up to the music. The title of the song you want to hear from within is, “Do Something Different,” or learn to find happiness in the same old types of relationships that you’ve had in the past.

soul mate relationship truth soulmate broken heart lonely awakenings the truth

I have this formula that I use; maybe you will find it helpful for you (maybe not). I call it my

Soulmate List

I have a list of fifty-or-so attributes that I am looking for. In an extra-large font, it takes up three pages.

I came up with the idea, while working with a coach and mentor in Florida, who had used some of these techniques to find her life-long soulmate (that’s what I’m looking for, too) and I’ve added my own tweaks to form a new system. Briefly, it goes, like this:

1a. To first make a list of all the things that you didn’t like in the men in your past relationship.

1b. Then go over the list and translate those into a list of positive attributes (the opposites) that you would look for in Mr. Right. (Ditch the negative list.)

2. Next, make a list of all the things that you liked (or thought you liked) in the men in your previous relationships.

3. Combine the two lists of positive attributes, and you’re almost there…

4. Then, being as specific as you can, think of all the attributes that you would like that aren’t already on the list. (The Floridian coach cautioned me not to leave anything off, because she had neglected to put down, “Physically healthy,” on her list, and wished she had, later.)

Then she says read the list every day, out-loud, once in the morning and once in the evening, and you will get what you confess.

I told the story to my grief counselor, he thinks it’s a great idea and is going to start using that model in his practice.

If you decide to give-it-a-go, I’d like to see your list. (It’s also a great way to turn around some of the pain of past relationships and turn them into positive attributes. It keeps you from focusing on the garbage, leading to real healing.)

The Real Truth

Finally, the real truth is this: My intention was to write and create a book based on this system called, “The Soul Mate List,” with the intention of telling my world’s greatest love story of all time and describe how I found the love of my life quickly and easily using my system.

I find that this system has been highly effective in preventing me from being sidetracked by potential romances that were not my highest and best (nor I theirs). = WIN

On the other hand, seven years… No soul mate… LOL

The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

you cant handle the truthLet’s talk about truth…

What is truth? What does that mean to you?

How can you know whether something is true, or not?

When someone asserts an absolute, its easy to question the credibility of the messenger as well as the veracity of the message.

For anything to be true, it must be based on fact(s) and/or based in reality; though a truth could also be based on collective beliefs based on much less fact and/or reality as it is known. Truth can also be either subjective or objective.

The measure of truth highly depends on the information that is available for evaluating the prospective truth based on the perspective of the investigator.

In my own life, I have asserted many things as absolute truths based on my valuation of the material that was available at the time. Interestingly, I have lived long enough to discover that many of the things that I believed to be true, based on information that was available (or that I was fed) at the time, required reevaluation as new information came to light.

Truth in its highest form would be absolute, but who are we to assert that we could be the authority on anything? One truth about truth is, “seek and you will find.” As long as there is a quest for the truth with a desire to come to a particular outcome, some searcher, somewhere, sometime will derive the conclusion sought.

Yet, we are responsible to seek and maintain our own truths as we travel along this life’s journey; it is a sacred gift, not bestowed on other life forms on this planet. The key is to be open to the idea that truth is a moving target, ever evolving, as we observe, grow and gather information along our individual paths.

The truth, then, is as varied as we are; each of us determining our own truths from moment to moment.

What if someone does not ascribe to our idea of what is true about a particular idea or concept?

This is where one should practice the wisdom of decorum. If you maintain the belief that an idea that is true, yet it is clearly not accepted by the masses, you must proceed with caution and good judgment out of respect for your potential audience.

You are absolutely right What you believe is true Keep sharing your light with those who can hear youPeople are not able to hear any message or see anything without a proper sense of congruency to have an intellectual connection with your idea (cognitive dissonance).

Anytime someone shares an idea that I experience cognitive dissonance with, I say:

“Thank you for sharing. You are absolutely right. What you believe is true. Keep sharing your light with those who can hear you.”

If you cant think of anything positive to say repeat these words I see what you mean

If I can decipher enough congruency to get a grip on what they are trying to say form their perspective, and I am unable to find an appropriate positive or uplifting response, I simply say:

“I see what you mean.”

This allows my mind to consider understanding what the person is saying from their point of view at some time in the future.

It always amazes me, when I hear a concept – that upon the initial discovery of the idea – I find hard to believe; but, if I do not violently reject it and allow new information to be gathered and evaluated over time, the concept may begin to appear more credible. The new idea starts to become visible and possibly more credible than other ideas that I held closely previously. This concept may create a challenge for comprehension based on its conflict with old ideas in light of new information or discoveries, ergo anything is possible.

Keep an open mind. Don’t judge others for where they are, and do not overtly assert your ideas. Share openly but humbly, allowing your audience the opportunity to let your idea(s) sink in as they begin to collect more information, possibly challenging things that they once revered as absolute.

Debate is folly and overwhelm causes others to discard any value that your message might have.

Share compassionately; and don’t waste your efforts on those who cannot possibly comprehend what you are trying to say, but never stop… Those with the ears to hear will hear you.

I’m listening… Are you?