You want it. You want it bad. You want it more than you’ve ever wanted it before. Your desire has brought you to look at it in the eye. Here you are face-to-face with that which you desire. It’s so close, you can sense it, see it, smell and taste it.
The planets are aligned, the moment is here. This is the right time and the right place to finally get that illusive thing you have longed for.
What do you do?
You might be surprised to discover that most (if not all) people will unwittingly do anything possible to prevent taking full advantage of the opportunity to have what they want. In fact, they may unconsciously disregard, disrespect and ultimately destroy the opportunity altogether.
If you’ve done this – and I know you have – you are a self-saboteur. How do I know you have done this? Because everyone has committed self-sabotage at some point in their life. I don’t know one person who has not sabotaged themselves at some point (well, maybe one, but I believe he is in denial – and that’s okay).
Why would I sabotage myself?
This is something that happens deep inside your self – the you that you are in the core of your being – that subconscious part of you that desires to protect you from all things that may lead to disappointment.
Your subconscious is your oldest protection mechanism. It perfectly recalls every moment when you were disappointed, experienced distress, pain, or got your feelings hurt. In those moments, this deepest part of you vowed to protect you from ever feeling like that again.
This part of your being is also the keeper of your deepest fears and lack of self-esteem or sense of unworthiness.
Experience + Fear – Self esteem = Self Sabotage
When these ingredients are combined and activated, the toxic result is Self-sabotage.
With the best of intentions, your subconscious will do everything possible to avoid – or even push away – that which you so sincerely desire to preserve your state of being.
Unlike you conscious mind which might be able to rationalize, with Tennyson’s, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” your subconscious believes it is far better not to have had anything than to suffer the anxiety, disappointment, pain or sadness associated with loss.
Your subconscious is always ready to do battle with any tools available to prevent you from having what you truly desire – if there is a chance things might not ultimately work out, like you would have liked.
Your subconscious takes this so seriously that it believes it’s thwarting your possibility of happiness is self-preservation, a life-saving effort. It’s as if your life depends on avoiding this opportunity at all costs.
How Do I Stop Self-sabotage?
The answer to the question about, “What can I do about my tendency to self sabotage?” can be complex and when I work with someone on their propensity to sabotage themselves, it’s easy to see no two self saboteurs are alike. Nonetheless, the process always centers around the same base ingredients of the equation.
Experience, Fear and Self esteem
If you can recognize the experiences that are preventing you from moving forward, what your fears are and what they are based on and ways that you might lack self esteem or sense of unworthiness and resolve these underlying issues, then you can confidently destroy the self-sabotage defense mechanism, while retaining the wisdom associated with your life’s experience.
Short Cut to Freedom from Self Sabotage
You might think, “Oh, that sounds like a lot of work… Isn’t there something I can do now to avoid self sabotage?”
Yes, you can start with reprogramming your self-conscious by adding a layer of worthiness using your imagination and positive affirmations.
Create a Vision
Create a vision of yourself in your mind’s eye of you completely happy, having that which you desire, fully safe and secure in its fullest expression. The more elaborate the vision with all five senses fully engaged, the more effective it will be. Take five minutes in the morning (preferably the first five minutes of your awakenedness) and five minutes in the evening to take yourself to this place, imagining how great it will be.
Reciting positive affirmations is a good way to start reprogramming your self-conscious. Following are some ideas for affirmations that you can recite (more effective out loud, if possible and silently if more appropriate) which can effectively begin to become more believable or real the more you recite them:
I love and accept myself unconditionally.
I release any need for misery and suffering.
I let go of anything in my past that might be holding me back.
I have high self esteem and I respect myself.
I deserve all the best this life has to offer.
I think on these things: Love, Good health, Prosperity and Positive outcomes. As I do, more love, greater health, wealth and the best things in life come to me.
I love and respect every moment of my life and am so grateful for the blessing of living my best life as it continues to get even better.
And now that you know this, the next time your approached with an incredible opportunity?
Consider jumping into full immersion.
What if it doesn’t work out?
You will not have to be like so many whom I have visited in their last moment whose lives are full of regret for not taking action when they had the chance.
You might get your feelings hurt… and that’s okay… because
It might just be your greatest experience ever!