Don’t Let You Down

You’ve done your best. You really have. You’ve guarded your heart and mind, filling them with positive thoughts, recited positive affirmations, found ways to maintain a positive vibration, only said good words, even about questionable people and circumstances, yet here you are; you’ve been hurt, betrayed, sad and/or lonely. You’re feeling like your ship has set sail without you. This is certainly not what you had planned.

No matter how much you try to plan, prepare, have the right mindset and heart-set, are kind, benevolent, righteous and/or deserving, stuff happens when you least expect it. And anyone – even me – would be knocked off their otherwise content horse of courage and possibly falling into the muck of disappointment.

What are you going to do about it?

That’s the question. You’ve suffered a setback, no doubt, and you’re feeling discouraged, rightfully so, but what you do about it makes all the difference in your world. If you focus on your misfortune and wallow in it, feeling dejected and blue, you could let it wrap you up in a cocoon of despair and you might find yourself sinking into a deep depression. Rather, keep your wits about you and try another approach to this predicament.

You feel bad, justifiably enough, so let that emotion pour over you. Allow yourself a predetermined amount of time (set a timer, if helpful) and feel all the anger, frustration, hurt and shame you can muster… then, when the time is up, pull yourself together. Get back on your horse, albeit a little less enthusiastic than prior to this unfortunate event, and stay the course, realizing that sometimes in life, bad things do happen to good people.

This is when you can start looking for the hidden treasure.

More often than not (if not always), unruly incidents that catch us off guard are blessings, though you may not be able to see it in the moment of being shocked by the unexpectedness of it, you find yourself in a much better position. It might not make sense now, but at some time in the future, you will find yourself grateful, having gone through the experience which prepared you for something far more significant.

Think about it. Isn’t that they way it’s always been?

When you’ve suffered an undesirable circumstance, hasn’t it always either led or prepared you for something better? And if you cannot see that, it might be time to take a closer look at those otherwise negative experiences from your past. If you can look at it (hopefully not overcome with emotion. Try using your imagination as if you were watching the event on a TV screen without sound), give it an honest review and see where it led you to or prepared you for: Voilà! You can see it. There is something more magnificent at work than meets the eye.

Life can have hidden cosmic Ninja training included for you that will imbue you with the experience and skills to allow you to deal with greater challenges in an effective manner further down the road, beyond your field of view.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotion, just realize that this is a part of your life experience. There’s no need to avoid or deny it. Just allow these feeling to envelope you, then put them aside when you are able and move on.

Sometimes friends or family can hold you to an impossible standard, likewise, you may hold yourself to unrealistic standards. Remember that no one is perfect, and we all will make missteps. Be forgiving of yourself and others. After all, we’re – each of us – are only doing the best we can with what we have.

Remember, in the face of adversity; try to look at it as if it were a test, challenge or gateway to something far better.

When things don’t turn out, like you expected, look deep into the situation or circumstance for clues of deeper meaning or a lesson to be learned, then release your emotional attachment to it.

Don’t let disappointments get you down, be the victorious warrior who seeks your highest and best in all things. Know there is a silver lining and keep going.
If you’ve reached what appears to be the end of a journey, begin looking for an opening. A door a window, a path will appear.

If you’re feeling overcome with overwhelm, seek the aid of a professional, a counselor or coach who can help you work through this event. Invite the process.

No one ever said life would be an unfurled bed or roses, and if they did, well… you know better. Life is full of ups and downs; learn to find enjoyment in the ride, like the exhilaration of a roller coaster.

I have learned that when I’m blindsided, I start to get excited because something really good is coming. So, get up, brush yourself off, put a smile on your face and be looking… Because no matter whenever things don’t work out like you had planned, something so much better is coming your way.

Don’t give up: Think.

What to Do When the Unexpected Happens

You had no idea this was coming, now here it is. You’ve done your due diligence, you’ve maintained a reasonable state of readiness, may have been distracted by life’s sleight of hand enough to let something slip under the radar, or may have been blindsided by the inexplicable act of God. Now what?

Do you rant and rave, hoot and holler, pitch a fit or throw a tantrum? Do you get angry, upset cuss at or cry out to God, “Why?!”

If there’s anything we can know about life, it’s that stuff happens.

Like, bidding on an item that if you win it, the results will be life-changing. You’ve been watching and waiting for just the right moment… the clock is ticking… your finger is firmly hovering over the submit key… the time to strike is now! Bam! You got it! You celebrate your brilliantly executed coup! Sometimes in life, things do work out perfectly!

You get your phone out to take a screen shot of your win, and see…

Unable to access the network

Or some similar phrase on the screen… No, this can’t be. You refresh, and sure enough, your once in a lifetime keystroke failed. It doesn’t matter if you were posted up on eBay or your stock trading account, it’s a total bust.

What do you do?

Of course, anyone would be upset.

The idea of being surprised by the unexpected presumes that you had placed a reasonable amount of faith in a certain expectation. You have reasoned that given a particular set of circumstances, you would fully expect a particular result. In that moment when you are surprised to see an undesirable outcome, or resolution that was not what you expected, you are shocked; literally, a thousand synapses fire in your brain, like a huge surge hitting your inner power grid.

Expectation is a spectrum. On one end of the spectrum is elation, when something amazing happens when you took a risk and things worked out beautifully. On the other end, disappointment, or something much darker…

You can easily think of 20 times when something totally unexpected happened when you least expected it and the results were less than desirable, if not downright disastrous. Given enough time, you could increase the number of your list to 100 unexpected catastrophes, some more catastrophic than others, nonetheless, you could certainly come to the conclusion that,

Shit Happens

Regardless of why (I mean does it really matter in the moment, even though we try to find a “why” in a desperate attempt to find reason in the chaos or the treasure hidden in the tragedy), the sooner you’re able to gain your composure and exercise some sense of control of your own state of mind (because we’ve just determined, beyond a show of a doubt, that you cannot control everything outside yourself) when blindsided by the unexpected.

You want to find the center balance point of the expectation spectrum, which is

It is what it is

An acceptance that things in life simply occur the way they were mean to be. Accepting the divine in everything, even the unexpected surprises, when things don’t go as planned, and all of this is part and parcel of a bigger plan and purpose as you travel the journey of your life.

In moments, like these, this is such an opportunity to tune into your base vibration. Find the you within, the real, authentic you that see beauty in all things. How often do we get so attached to a process and expected outcome that we forget to stop and enjoy the simple things in life? The things that give us joy and meaning? It is probably time to,

Take a Break

Stop the madness and find comfort in the now, realizing that all things in life are perfectly perfect. Even though it may have been only moments ago, you can realize that what is done is done, and there is no magic time machine that can recreate that moment. It is done, and you have started a new life now. And now. And now…

As you are reading this, old cells are dying off and new cells are being created, and in this moment, you literally are not the same person you were a moment ago. Embrace the emerging new you and find comfort in the things that you may have taken for granted, and,

Let It Go

The event that threw you off-balance is over. We face inconveniences every day. This is all a part of life and you can choose whether to focus on the inconvenience or to shift your attention onto something more desirable. Don’t let the unexpected dominate you. You are the master of your life, you can choose to release your attachment to the outcome, if you want to.

Find Gratitude

As soon as you are able, set your mind on the things that are good, true and enduring and express your heartfelt thankfulness for the things in life that we often take for granted. We are so often so very blessed every day, but fail to take the time to review how amazing

every breath that we take
every beat of our heart
every move that we make
every step a new start


Stay the Course

“Life is a journey, not a destination.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Life goes on and you must too. Keep moving and following the path leading to your highest and best and watch you new life unfold before your eyes.

Something good is coming your way…

What I’ve found through these unexpected experiences in my life is that something greater than what I had anticipated in the outcome to which I had become so attached was waiting just beyond my disappointment.

So, now, when things don’t go like I expected, I start to look around corners and over the horizon in the knowledge that something wonderful is en route.

What Are You Going to Do About It?

You gave it your best shot. You had faith, did the work and worked hard at it. You courageously supported, promoted and pushed all your chips onto the table in this deal in an “all or nothing” proclamation of your earnest belief that this was the answer.

Now, you realize – more than ever – sometimes things don’t turn out like you had planned.


You are mad, your feelings have been hurt, you feel betrayed, embarrassed even victimized.

As others are silently watching you, they are waiting to see how you are going to respond to this situation. After an uncomfortable state of shock, you react. Onlookers are taking note of the words that escape you mouth (or fingertips) in this moment.

Some people may unjustly mock, attack or ridicule you based on those first words acknowledging your pain or disapproval of seeing your hopes and dreams demolished. It is a brutal world, full of self-centered cynics who could care less about your emotional state in this tender moment, when you feel as though your world – undoubtedly the one that you so believed in – has crumbled to dust.

Inside each tragedy of life, there lies a hidden treasure chest. Only you have the key to see what’s inside. It’s in times, like these, that we can be empowered for massive growth and change.

There is treasure in your tragedy only you have the key

When I look back on my own setbacks, like the loss of a marriage and family, betrayal of family or friends whom I trusted, investments that evaporated or the loss of a son in a battle while he was serving offshore in Afghanistan, all of it – no matter how ultimately tragic it was at the moment – was an opportunity for me to grow and live a better life.

Many of us have suffered though what appeared to be insurmountable obstacles. Even though we may have felt as though life was so awful, we were able to push through and enjoy what life was holding for us on the other side.

So, after you’ve gained your balance, it comes down to this:

What Are You Going to Do About It?

This is where the rubber meets the road, or as my grandfather would say, it’s what “separates the men from the boys.”

Maybe you’ve expressed your feelings about your loss shouting from the rooftops, or you may have held your shattered dreams close to the vest, either way, following the realization that things didn’t turn out like you had hoped,

What are you going to do about it?

You could do nothing. You could play the role of the victim, or you could take action, determined to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

This is when you come face-to-face to the person you were meant to be. You can turn these inner feelings – that could ultimately destroy a normal person – into the fuel necessary to launch your new life or change the world in a major (or even some small) way.

You could talk about it, or you could rise up and take action. In times like these, you give birth or bolster the leader or warrior within.

Start evaluating your life. Look around and see who truly has your best interests at heart. Do some social housecleaning. Maybe it’s time for a change, possibly massive change of career, or location.

Is it time to leverage your skills, to assemble a team or mobilize a movement?

Once you’ve taken action, you realize what a powerful force for good you can be. Go forth in love, with understanding and benevolence, without judgment or disrespect and make the world a better place.

This is your moment.

This is your time.

It has all come down to this,

What will you do about it?