Love Hearing People Complain

I absolutely love hearing people complain, followed by what they’re gonna do about it.

When you notice some story of an atrocity which rocks your being piercing your soul to your core, you recoil and understandably upset. What happens next determines whether your opposition to this offensive subject will oppose it, or add power to it.

If you complain about it, great. That makes you feel better about it, because you’ve found a way to release the burden of it and pass it on to someone else.

I get excited when I hear someone complaining about something passionately. It instantly attracts my attention as I anticipate what comes next. I listen… if nothing else follows, I am disappointed. Instead of complaining and in a sense, courageously making a stand, by placing themselves in the bullet’s path, this person has just promoted the very thing that made him or her upset.

Instead, I love hearing people complain, followed by what they’re gonna do about it.

Tell me about the thing that upset you, tell me that you researched it to make sure the matter in question is valid (and not simply a false story to distract your attention from the good things in life and to make you fearful), and tell me what you’re doing about it. Even if it’s only donating $5 to an organization that is combating this offense.

If you complain in a venue which is highly public, like social media, then you have exponentially impacted the offending subject, intentionally or unintentionally, either for or against the thing which has upset you.

Do you want to promote this thing that has upset you? Fine, post something offensive in social media, with you acting as it’s PR promoter. Post about how horrible this atrocity is, without offering an opposing solution.

Do you want to be a part of the solution, to quash this thing, to stamp it out forever?

Then, complain. Post to your heart’s content. Put yourself on the line by telling me and the world what you are doing about it, and let your inspired action inspire me and others to join the cause.

Now, I’m excited!

Elizabeth Cady Stanton could have just complained about not having the ability to vote because she was a woman. But she complained and said, “I am drafting a Declaration of Sentiments and Grievances,” which addressed the basic rights which were being denied women at the time.

How crazy it might have seemed, when she, Lucretia Mott and a few friends met in her home to draft her declaration. Anyone looking in from the outside must’ve thought this an impossible task. Really? That one woman would stand against the mightiest political machine ever contrived. Are you kidding me? This dwarfs King David’s youthful account of slaying Goliath by hundreds of times.

She complained, followed by inspired action. She started a movement, complaining, and allowing others to join with her voice to be heard. 72 years later, because Elizabeth Cady Stanton complained and stood in the bullet’s path, the 19th Amendment was passed, granting women the right to vote.

This is only one small example among hundreds of thousands of true stories depicting what people can do to make a difference in a troubled world, and it starts with one.

Will you be the one who adds to the confusion and dysfunction of the world or will you be a part of the solution?

The choice is yours.

DON’T (fill in the blank)!

Advertising execs, spin doctors, and those engaged amidst the therapeutic science community know that when you tell someone, “Don’t,” (fill in the blank)! What you’re actually saying is, “Take some time to think about you’re engaging in this activity.”

What happened when our nation got behind a “Don’t Do Drugs,” program? Drug use among youths in America increased by 60 percent! Whether this program succeeded or failed depends on which side of the proliferation of drugs you are on.

Maybe everyone doesn’t know, but there are many that realize the use underlying the use of “Don’t” is an embedded command to think about doing something, like a “Dare.” When I tell you, “Don’t think of an orange,” you cannot help but picture an orange in your mind.

If you give a command of, “Don’t eat this forbidden fruit!” Whomever you’ve issued the command to can help but think about tasting the fruit, salivating, and imagining what it might be like to taste of it.

As a general rule of thumb, you will see a 30 percent increase of what you don’t want by demanding the NOT doing of it. That’s why creating more laws, which make more and more things illegal, helps to promote the legal system and keep our jails and prisons over-populated. (This is either a genius, highly conceived plan to benefit profiteers, or not.)

The more energy you exercise the not-doing of something, the greater the increase in what you don’t want. That’s why the nation’s push against doing drugs was twice the 30% we would have expected because they exerted so much energy (time, money, media, and scholastic programs) focused on not doing drugs.

The natural energies of the universe work the same way. If you say to the heavens, “Oh, that experience was horrible. I don’t ever want that to happen again.” You have dared the powers that be to conspire to find ways to vector-in some more of what you don’t want, and you start a new dimensional times line which will bring to you exactly what you don’t want.

Imagine for a moment that you might be behind this all the while.

Bear with me and suspend your disbelief for a moment just to imagine that…

You (the real you) are off-world somewhere and have decided to have a virtual experience in a virtually experiential arcade. You’ve selected all the attributes of your virtual character, who your characters’ parents will be, you’ve set the parameters for financial and social status, and the basic geography where your character’s adventure will be, then you plug into the system, lay back in your recliner, and push the button to start the journey. Throughout the ride, you have limited input to steer your character in certain directions. You pretty much know how the journey is supposed to end but your character has free will, which keeps it all that much more interesting and entertaining.

You get to experience all the experiences of your character without doing any harm to yourself. This is exciting. Every once and a while, your character looks up and says, “I don’t like that!” Your character has no idea that he or she is looking straight into your eyes. But you know what is waiting up ahead in the game, and you know your character does not have the necessary tools or skills to make it past the next level. So, like it or not, you send another ‘round of what your character despises until he or she gets what he needs to have a good chance of making through the next level.

If your character says he or she doesn’t want something, you can’t help but think about what it might look like if he or she faced such a situation or circumstance. It might be fascinating to find out how your character might fare when given a good dose of what he or she doesn’t want. If your character provides your adventure with a great deal of drama, it might make your ride more interesting, even fun. If your character remains in control, is victorious, or unmoved by the challenge, where is the fun in that?

Okay, you can snap your head back on, if you must.



… Here comes some more…

Now here’s a bit of simple miracle magic you can use to change the effects of the results from all those things you don’t want in your life, or what you don’t want someone else to do:


Instead, when you look up to the sky, state,


It doesn’t matter if you’re staring at the sky, talking to the real you in the arcade, crying out to God, or whatever. There is something powerfully energetic out there which moves the whole world, the universe, based on your requests, demand, or cries for help. For God’s sake, more importantly for yours, stop using “Don’t” or expressing what you don’t want. Instead, use what you do want as the basis of your request or demand.

And guess what?

It works just the same in all levels all around you. Instead of telling others what you don’t want them to do, challenge them with what you do want them to do.

Stop telling your child what not to do, instead tell your children what you might like them to do. After you’ve communicated with them, they will imagine doing the thing you mentioned, whether you said you wanted them not to do something bad, or to do something good.

Which would you rather have them thinking about?

It stands to reason, if there is a 30% better chance that they will do what you’ve told them not to do, then there is also a 30% increased chance that they will imagine themselves rising to a new level of doing the right things, as they aspire to be better, if that is the paradigm you present to them, where they can thrive.

It doesn’t just work on kids. It works on everyone and everything in the universe.

The Law of Attractions states, “You get what you focus on.” That is to say, if you are focusing on what you don’t want, you get more of what you don’t want. When you focus on what you do want, you get more of what you do want. It’s simple.

Have fun with this. Do your part to make the world a better place by not using DON’Ts and using more high-energy, encouraging DOs from this point forward.

Power of Complaining

Ever know someone who appears to be constantly complaining about everything, the state of the world, being surrounded by evil or stupid people, and of course their constantly being victimized?

A pessimistic chronic complainer, like that, might be off-putting, especially to the optimist. The optimist might see the individual fueled by constant whining and complaining as an ever present drain on their own personal energy reserves. It can be frustrating maintaining an effective level of communication between individuals on opposite ends of the spectrum.

power of complaining pessimistic whining complaint take action

When team-building, I always like to have a chronic complainer on-board, someone who sees problems everywhere they look, even in the best of circumstances, they will offer up a “what if” that could lead to an outcome of apocalyptic proportions. Some might consider this pessimistic influence a non-constructive waste of time, but I think to assume there is little value in looking at anything from a different perspective as folly.

Those who fail to see the value of the complainer may also fail to see the value in the complaint. For is it not true that

Every technological and sociological advancement is the result of complaining

Of course it is not simply enough to complain, for complaining – and continuing to complain – about something exemplifies powerlessness, but to complain, then as quickly as possible find ways to counteract the issue at hand with a definitive action, this person has evolved as the pessimist activist.

The pessimist activist complains about the state of a thing or circumstance and goes about taking action fueled by their angst in the hopes of having some impact on the situation.

Unlike the optimist who focuses on the happy, joyful outcome of a particular situation or circumstance from an, “if only” perspective, the pessimist approaches the same conundrum from the, “what if,” perspective and the pessimist activist takes action based on their desire to prevent a worst case scenario.

And both of them are right

There is not one that is more right than the other, it is what it is, and the teaming of these individuals in a yin/yang approach to tackling any obstacle, problem-solving or visionary project is priceless.

As for the complainer who refuses to take action, they tend to find themselves depleting their own energy reserves and often find themselves battling depression and persistent health concerns. But it doesn’t take much to counteract the effects of complaining by (as quickly as possible) integrating some level of activity to augment the otherwise negative outlook.

For instance, if one asserts, “There is no happiness in my life,” taking the action of creating a little happiness based on the complaint and – voila – you’re on your way to empowering your power of complaining. An example might be to go to a comedy show, call or visit a young relative who looks up to you, take your dog for a walk, buy a new outfit (or shoes), take a hike or walk on the beach… or whatever makes you feel happy. To not do so, only creates a sense of helplessness.

If you’re particularly focused on some other person’s lack of intelligence or propensity for causing dangerous circumstances, taking action on your complaint is better than not doing anything. You could offer a productivity tool as a gift, file a formal complaint or study to teach a class or write a report/book that might be helpful for others dealing with similar people.

If you feel an urge to constantly complain about the state of the world, then exchange your, “what if,” which normally leads to a worst case conclusion, to “what if I could do something about it?” And the something you could do need not be of worldwide significance to have an impact. You could simply post your observation(s) on social media, call into a talk radio program or write a letter to the editor. Your action (though minute in comparison to your concern) may be helpful in making others aware of the potential disaster and may help the idea reach critical mass, which always has – and always will – lead to change.

I extend my sincere gratitude for all the empowered complainers who help to make the world a better place.

Keep complaining

(and do something about it)