When you’re traveling your road in this life it’s easy to get distracted by your missteps and get stuck in the rut of asking yourself, “Where did I go wrong?” which would otherwise be a perfectly healthy question to ask.
Just like when you’re drive tire gets stuck in the mud, if you spin your wheels trying to get out, all it does is bury your tire deeper in the rut, the same goes for ruminating and going over the details of any mistake in life, repeatedly. Keep doing that and you’ll get stuck there, unable to get out and move on in life.
Okay, so you made a mistake, were blindsided, or sucker-punched by life. You can’t just ignore the fact this happened to you. You should review the situation and circumstances that lead to the unexpected event and extract the learnings from experience. For that is the purpose of all life’s challenges. Inside each challenge is a hidden treasure, a divine piece of wisdom which is a key to your continued personal growth, wisdom, and evolution.
How to effectively review when asking yourself,
Where did I go wrong?
Just like when you get stuck in a rut, in most cases, you can rock yourself out. That is to say you can exert energy in one direction, release the pressure and relax to let momentum take you in an opposite direction, then when the momentum starts in the other direction, exert additional energy, then release and relax again.
Exerting energy in a particular direction means asking the tough questions. Were you aware enough about your surroundings? Could you have been more attentive? Are there things you could have done, attending to details, which could have resulted in a more favorable outcome? Were there precautions you could have taken?
Don’t just review this in your head, get it down on paper. Moving the energy from your heart to your brain, letting it flow down your arm, out your fingers, through the ink in your pen and onto the paper, helps to get it out.
Depending on the condition of your rut, this may be enough energy, that when released (written on paper) and relaxed, may be enough to get you over the edge and ready to face life full on again.
If not, you will have to exert even more energy, when you feel your momentum slumping back toward the negativity of the event again. If so, then this time you will have to be a little harder on yourself, to build up a little more negative momentum.
This time, you have permission to berate yourself. You can totally and disrespectfully rant on yourself, using any disrespectful thoughts or language which otherwise would be extremely inappropriate for up to three minutes (set the egg timer) maximum. Then release and relax.
Rock your experience as often as necessary without getting stuck there. Do not overthink this unnecessarily or allow yourself to fall into the paralysis of analysis.
If you are unable to rock yourself out of the rut on your own, you may need a wench, or a tow truck to drag you out.
Don’t be shy about reaching out for third-party assistance. That’s why coaches, counselors, and consultants are there, for you to call on in times of crisis, when you’re unable get out of the rut and get back on track.
Remember, when you’re asking yourself,
Where did I go wrong?
Do a bit of analysis, extract the hidden treasure (the lesson), and move on.
Whatever you do, make sure you get out of the rut. Release this experience, walk away from it, and let it go.
Take a look around you.
Look for all the people who have encountered an unexpected life event and let it get the best of them… I think we can all agree that there must be a better way.
You don’t want to let this thing cripple your potential over a long period of time. Rock yourself out, or get help to get you over this thing that’s troubling you.
There is so much waiting for you just over the horizon, a better life. Your best life awaits you, and this experience imbues you with the wherewithal to help make the world a better place.
You are amazing.