I Tried to Be What You Wanted Me to Be I Just Couldn’t Do It

You’re a love and relationship counselor and it’s obvious that this couple is having challenges. They are clearly not seeing eye to eye and you’re doing what you can to help them communicate more clearly, then she says, “I tried to be what you wanted me to be, I just couldn’t do it.”

This is one of those one-liners that just brings everything to a halt. When one of the partners says, “I tried to be what you wanted me to be, I just couldn’t do it,” this is a clear indication that the partnership is over because it takes two to make a couple. This participant has clearly stopped wanting to be a part of this couple anymore.

Is this an indication that the relationship is over? As a couples’ coach, you probably already know that when one or more of the participants in a relationship say, “It’s over,” or, “I’m done,” hope for a bright future still remains. I mean, they are in your office. Right? What does that tell you? There is work that can be done. Just because they have reached an impasse does not mean that this challenge is fatal.

It helps to know which phase they are in the 7 Phases of Love to help predict how much hope there is for the couple who faces this particular circumstance, where it appears that a great deal of effort was put forth in an attempt to please the other partner, but the this particular partner has reached the conclusion that further work to become the person that the other partner desired was beyond her reach.

I Tried

The insistence that she “tried” indicates that they were probably not that good of a match at the outset of this coupling in the first place.

Blame it on Mother Nature

To her credit, maybe there was a deep attraction to this person, and she did desire to enter into a longstanding love relationship, maybe even to go as far as to commit and marry this person. Often at the beginning of a relationship desire and hormones take over and we find ourselves, victim, to Mother Nature’s love trap. All she (Mother Nature) wants is for matting to ensue because she wants babies.

So, we have this programming that turns off all rationale so that copulation can prevail. Mother Nature really doesn’t care about families, she just wants babies.

This appears to be one of those relationships, where the intimacy shared in those early moments was good enough for this couple to have the hope of a longstanding relationship, so they married (but did not have any babies).

To Be What You Wanted Me to Be

It wasn’t long before the wife discovered that she and her new husband wanted completely different things out of life. She decided, early on, that she would make concessions, compromising her own desires and beliefs, to accommodate his. This was a valiant effort and she was supported in doing so by family and friends.

At first, the concessions, were not that big of a deal, but after time, it began to annoy her, but she persisted, continuing to sacrifice her own wants, needs, and desires for his, for the greater good of the relationship.

I Just Couldn’t Do It

The “I just couldn’t do it,” means that this partner has reverted in some way to her previous self, as she was prior to his relationship, which she feels is not conducive and is not an appropriate state of affairs to sustain any possible future as a couple.

The last time I heard this, unbeknownst to the husband, his wife was a prostitute. Also, not known at the time the statement was made by her, “I tried to be what you wanted me to be, I just couldn’t do it,” she had returned to her previous profession as a full-on sex worker, while he was at work, or when she was away visiting family.

In this circumstance, she was right, and this did lead to the end of the relationship, but that does not always mean that it is “the end.” We all have seen relationships recover from what appeared to be impossible odds.

That’s why we who are in the business proclaim that “Love conquers all.” Even if it means that it rarely conquers because we are mere mortals and unconditional love seems too far off a possibility for most of us, nonetheless, even if in the rarest of circumstances,

Love conquers all.


I Can Believe Whatever I Want to Believe

One of my favorite one-liners is, “I can believe whatever I want to believe.” That will stop any coach, consultant, or counselor right in their tracks. Some people have these weapons that they wield whenever they feel like they might be feeling challenged beyond their ability.

We work so hard to encourage our clients to reach new heights in their relationships, businesses, and lives, but there is a point where the client is just done reaching for new plateaus. They get to a point where their desire to grow and change is too far beyond their willingness to push through and continue the journey.

You, if you are the coach or therapist, must let go of your expectations. For us in the business, the excitement that comes with accompanying someone on an explosively exciting journey onward and upward is often the fuel that inspires us to do what we do. I know that it is for me, that’s why I only work with the movers and shakers.

I love being nearby or even in the room when someone reaches a breakthrough or epiphany. Seeing people grow and change, go through that metamorphosis from where they were when I first started working with them, then seeing them in the fullness of their capabilities, and being with them step for step along the way, that is the blessing beneath the work that I do.

What does someone mean, when they say, “I can believe whatever I want to believe?”

That means that in your communication and encouragement to look at things from a different perspective you have reached a stage that has gone well beyond the ability of the client to comprehend and they offer up the phrase, “I can believe whatever I want to believe,” in a sense to stop the bus from going any further.

It can also be a refusal to even look at something that might challenge their current rationalization, which gives them a feeling of comfort and security, or it may be more deeply rooted in their belief system or dogma.

In any case, your client has drawn a line in the sand that is not to be crossed, at least, for now.

This is your client’s journey and he or she has every right to direct his or her own path, even if you might see trouble ahead if he or she chooses “this” over “that.”

What can you do?

Of course, you should continue to present the ideas of alternative choices and what the future could hold given different decisions and actions.

You may tell your client about the experiences of other clients who may have chosen “this” over “that.” Third-party reference material may be available that you can refer him or her to.

We encourage always having an open mind, and you too must maintain open-mindedness with your clients at all times, remembering this is their journey, and you must ever tell them what to do. The responsibility for their decisions lies solely on themselves and it is your job to support them and see them face the challenges they may face as they take responsibility for themselves.

So, when someone tells you, “I can believe whatever I want to believe,” know that you’ve reached an impasse and back off your approach, and have your client restate his or her limitations, and work within those boundaries, but don’t stop offering other perspectives or ideas that may encourage them to take a moment and think outside the box.

Besides, that’s what we do best. Right?

And it is the “looking outside the box” that leads to those most valuable life-changing moments.

Creating a Book Cover for Your Book

You are working on your book and by now, you’ve settled on a title, if you’re serious about your brand, you have already purchased the dot-com to associate with your book and/or project. Now you need a book cover for your book, even while you are still working on it.

You may have already created a mockup of your book cover to post on your website. Even so, we are going to look at some different ways you can create a good book cover to post on your personal website and link it to your book’s website.


Canva allows you to explore various graphic design tools such as book covers among others. The process is simple but may appear to be a little sketchy for someone who has never tried this before. Just go to Canva, and if you don’t see book covers right away, click on the three dots designating “More” options.

Shift the display left and right until you see Book Cover. Then you will be delighted to find hundreds of book cover templates that you can choose from. You can search for ideas by category or keyword if you like. Once you’ve found one that you like, simply edit it to match your book’s details.


When it gets to be the way you like it, save it. Now you have cover art for your upcoming book that you can post on your website.

Keep an eye open for surprises, some options may require an additional fee for certain graphics or templates. Or you can opt to upgrade to a membership fee, which you can try for 30 days free.


PosterMyWall offers free and paid tools to help you create professional content such as book templates, and much more.

There are three programs to choose from starting at free and going up to $29.95 a month subscription models.

Get Covers

For ten to thirty-five dollars, you can get a fancy cover from Get Covers, and they will do the heavy lifting for you.

Just let them know the genre, and an example of the type of book cover that you like and they take it from here.

Two days later, you have your book cover done.

Book n Brush

At Book n Brush you can choose from 3,000 templates and quickly create a book cover for free, all you have to do is register.

After you’ve completed your book cover, you will have to upgrade to one of three membership levels to download your book files.

100 Covers

If you’ve got a hundred bucks, try 100 Covers. Packages go up from there, there’s a $200, and a $400 pack as well.


https://99designs.com/ different designers compete for your business. You get a lot of submissions, pick the open you want, and pay for the one that you want. Basic eBook bronze package $199 with guaranteed payment and no extras and get over 200 to choose from.

Edit dot org

Edit.org is an excellent tool that provides editable templates for you to create stunning book cover templates, as well as other tools.

Simple, just browse the templates and edit them. You get a 7-day free trial for premium use with unwatermarked downloads of your covers.

The premium upgrade is under ten dollars a month.

Template dot net

Template.net provides an array of designs that you can choose from.

When you’re using the free version, you can download basic quality JPG images of your designs.

The upgrade is a reasonable $2 per month, with a business tier at $10.


Visme offers a large gallery of royalty-free images and templates which can be found under Printables to create your book covers.

You can sign up for free, and use a limited number of easy-to-use templates, but cannot download your high res images until you upgrade.

Then, of course, there’s


At Fiverr you can get $5 to $10 book cover art within anywhere from a few hours to a few days.

Note that you can also get book cover designers at Fiverr in the upper price ranges as well (up to $500).



Should You Start a YouTube Channel?

If you have a Google (Gmail) email account, you already have a personal YouTube channel. If you have a project that you would like to promote on YouTube, you can create your YouTube channel for your project for free. So,

Should You Start a YouTube Channel?

Absolutely. Remember, the whole idea is to connect to people you want to hear your message. If you really want to do that, you must have a way for them to find you. The best way to do that is to hang out where they hang out. Right?

Your people are on YouTube, so you must be there, too. If you are, they may be able to find you. Starting a YouTube channel that matches your book, product, organization, etc., will help YouTube users find your content by searching for your project.

If you aren’t aware that you have a YouTube Account, just go to YouTube in your browser and look up in the upper right-hand corner of the browser, and you will see something, like this. The circle will have a colored circle with your initial or a photo if you’ve uploaded one.

To add a new YouTube channel to your account, click on your identifier circle and go down to “View all channels.” Once you’ve clicked there, you will see other channels you have already created in the past, otherwise, this area will only show your main account.

On this page, you will also see the YouTube, “+ CREATE A CHANNEL” button. Click on that, then follow the prompts to create your new YouTube Channel. Congratulations. You’re in.

Now, what’s the point of having a YouTube channel without any videos on it? Even though there is an advantage for branding purposes, you must realize that this is a place to post videos, so the next step is to post one.

Posting a Video Short to Your New YouTube Channel

Thanks to TikTok, short videos have become the latest rage, and YouTube wants to get in on the action, too. To keep up with the trends, YouTube has started a new category of videos called, “Shorts.” These are short one-minute-ish-or-less videos, usually shot in vertical format on a phone as you might see on TikTok.

If you haven’t guessed by now, this is your next assignment to publish your first short video, shot vertically on your phone, and uploaded to your new YouTube channel.

Download and install the YouTube App

YouTube makes uploading your video to YouTube, quick, easy, and painless. You probably already have the YouTube App on your phone, if not you should install it. Once installed and signed in, at the bottom of the screen you will find a menu that shows

Home – Shorts – + – Subscriptions – Library

Keep that in mind, at first. You will be logged in to your personal account, so you will need to click on your identifier circle in the upper right-hand corner, and switch your account to your newly created YouTube channel.

Now you’re ready to upload the vertical short video you created with your cell phone that probably started with something, like, “Hi, my name is Ruby Begonia, and I want to welcome you to my new whatchamacallit YouTube channel…”

Click on that + (that has a circle around it) at the menu at the bottom of your screen, it will present you with a pop-up where “Upload a video” is an option. Click on that and it will take you to a display of all the videos that you can upload from your phone.

Click on your short, click “Next” through the following screens, and give your short a title. Make sure you put (space) #shorts after to title to include it in the new shorts collection on YouTube and upload.

It may be a little awkward at first, but it gets easier and more fun as you go.



Facebook Page and Facebook Group

If you have a web presence, then you must augment it with social media. If you don’t already have one, create a personal account with FaceBook. I know some people feel intimidated by this, but don’t let it get to you. While this has to do with you, remember that this is more about the people you want to reach and help. Right? So, don’t let your inhibitions stand between you and your people.


Once you have your personal account and page setup (you don’t have to use it, personally), now you can add a page.

Facebook Page

The first page to add is your business, brand, or organization page. This is your celebrity page. It should totally represent your likable character in all its glory. It should have your contact information and a brief bio about your likable character. A few photos would be nice, too.

To do so, just go to your menu from your main FaceBook page and you will see options displayed, click on Create Page, answer the questions and fill in the appropriate form information as you move through the creation process, and “Voilà,” you are live.

Note: Besides your headshot, the less professional your FaceBook pictures are, the better. Facebook users want to see you as a “normal” person and desire to connect with you socially as a real person.

Your current family and friends do not need to be invited to like this page which represents your public persona. You can stay connected with them through your personal account page unless you do business with them. This page is reserved for your tribe, the people that support your project(s), and are likely to support what you do by paying for products, services, tickets, etc.

This is the page you will link to from your website, where you state, “Join Me on FaceBook,” or something similar.

Next up, you want to create a group.

Facebook Group

Facebook also lets you create a group. Not long ago you could use Facebook groups both publicly and privately, but since then, FaceBook has changed its terms of service, so the private groups are not as secure as they once were. We have resources available for your private group, which we will address later. In the meantime, let’s get that public group going.

This group is a place where the people who resonate with your project, book, program, class, or organization will congregate and communicate with each other. So, it should bear the same name as your thing, whatever it is, to support your brand. Plus, if people have been exposed to your information and material, they are likely to search for it by name. It’s up to you to make it easy for them to find, so make sure the titles match.

The process of setting up your Facebook group is the same as your page, except this time, you select “Group” instead of a page from the Create menu.

This group will be highly beneficial when you go live, participate in live or online events or seminars, teach classes, or conduct coaching, counseling, or consulting.

The beauty of the FaceBook group is that, yes, you can moderate it, but most of the support is conducted by your fans, peer-to-peer. This makes it really convenient for you to offer support to your people without having to do the heavy lifting. And it doesn’t take that many members for them to receive answers to questions and feel as though they are fully supported nearly 24/7.

Another huge benefit of having a Facebook Group set up for your people is being able to say, “I have a special group set up for people just like you who join me on Facebook…” is very powerful and instantly adds credibility to your project.


Develop Your Likable Character

When you’re integrating with other people and are on track to become an influencer in the world today, you must refine your story and establish your persona as a character that people can relate to and is likable. So, how do you develop your likable character?

While I caution against celebrity, we can look at some who have gotten this part down pat, and that’s why we love people like Jimmy Fallon, Jennifer Aniston, Ed Sheeran, Ellen DeGeneres, LeBron James, Sandra Bullock, Keanu Reeves, Tyra Banks, Dave Chappelle, Oprah Winfrey, Dwayne Johnson, Taylor Swift, George Clooney, and Lady Gaga.  They have done the work of developing their likable character and sticking to it. We feel like we know them, who they are, and can even anticipate how they might respond in certain circumstances.

As you already know, you only have a limited amount of time to expose yourself to others. You already have your elevator pitch and 90-second Life Story. Now we’re going to the next level and you’re going to craft your likable character.

This will answer the question: Who Are You? In a big way.

You are going to create a story about yourself, not unlike you might about a character in your book, and once you’ve done this, you must stick to your script. You might be modifying your elevator pitch and 90-minute story to fit your likable character.

This is your backstory. Basically, where you’ve come from and how you’ve become the persona that you are today.

This is a process that can change over time, but today, we are going to get you to settle into this persona that you are going to prepare for yourself today. When you get challenged in an interview or online, take a second to review before you respond to a question or circumstance and think, according to your story,

“What would I do?”

The “I” in the identity that you create for yourself today. Keeping your exposure consistent to your likable character is worth so much and this consistency helps to solidify your connection to your new clients and friends.

This will also help you identify the voice, vocabulary, and tone of what you will say and how you will say it in blogs, books, interviews, and media.

To connect to your customer avatar, it would be helpful to be able to say, “I used to be just like you.”

I first learned about the likable character from Joseph Campbell’s hero’s journey, then Frank Kern, and now Russell Brunson seems to have picked up the gauntlet in his book, Dot com Secrets, and is helping entrepreneurs embrace this tried-and-true method of creating a likable character.

To get you going here is step-by-step layout that will help you develop your likable character.

Your Story

This is where you relate a personal story that expresses how you, the hero of your story, were able to get from where you were to where you are today. This is the element that attaches you to your potential clients and friends that includes the “I was just like you,” piece. This story should inspire others and give them hope that they can have a better life by following you.


Find ways to relate key experiences and lessons you have learned throughout your hero’s story by creating mini-lessons or story-like parables that you can easily tell your audience and they can easily understand and connect with what you are trying to relate. This will give them ways to better retain the key elements, and it will make it easier for them to tell others. Your parables should be based on your experience, and priceless insights, that helped you overcome challenges that you faced. Telling these stories will help your people achieve the results they desire faster and easier.

Share Your Weaknesses

Make sure that you convey plenty of examples of you not being perfect. Confidently relating your character flaws will help people identify with you. Why? Because they aren’t perfect either. Your openness, honesty, transparency, and vulnerability will draw people who also share similar weaknesses to you, and it makes you appear more trustworthy.

This is counterintuitive for most people because they do not want to put their weaknesses out front but remember that the big picture is your being able to connect and relate to your audience, so the more vulnerable you are willing to be the more connection and influence you will be able to have while identifying with your people.

Black and White

You must find ways to polarize elements of your story that either attracts or offends people. I am a super tolerant person, so this is the hardest part of the process for me. The most effective stories have massive polarization.

The upside is that the people who agree with your never-say-die this-is-the-way-it-is like-it-or-not point of view, will immediately love you and what you’re saying. The downside to being black and white is that people who disagree with such a singular perspective will hate you, and many of them will aggressively oppose you online. Don’t take it personally.

Again, you must be more focused on being able to help as many people as possible with the least amount of effort. Your message can be far more powerful, and you’ll be able to help more people by being black and white, so be willing to endure (and ignore) the naysayers while you’re reaching for your highest good.

Four Identities

To create your own persona, pick one of the four basic identities to represent who you are to your audience.

1 The Leader

The leader is the type of person who gathers a group of people and encourages them to believe or think a certain way and can encourage them to influence others likewise.

2 The Adventurer

The adventurer is an explorative trendsetter who is bold enough to try new things in his or her space. Seeing things from unconventional perspectives and creating counter-intuitive strategies that are extremely effective when implemented. The adventurer helps create results, customer satisfaction, and success creatively.

3 The Reporter

This is the inquisitive seeker of truth who seeks out professionals in the field who can share their stories from their perspective. Sharing this information with your audience makes you a trusted and valuable source of information.

Your audience feels that they need the data that you are providing to help them achieve their goals or have a better life.

4 The Reluctant Hero

Maybe you’re a very private person, reserved and shy, but you’re so moved by your particular area of expertise that, even though you were resistant, you could not refuse the call to action to help others for the greater good.

You have strong feelings about your mission, and they are so compelling that they will see you past your inability to feel ultimately confident about going about the work necessary to help others who really need what you have to offer.

Pick a Story Theme

A story theme will be the framework for how you will relate your message to your audience in the best way possible. Your story may include data, but your story theme will communicate a particular feeling that your audience can easily identify with. This is the space where you will include details of your persona.

1 Loss and Redemption

This is the rags-to-riches theme, where you relate your story of transformation. You were at this lower state of being and had resigned yourself to living out this mediocre lifestyle or even resigned yourself to a life of trauma and abuse but look at you now. You are in a far better place, and you can help others achieve the same.

2 Us vs. Them

This is the premise from which movements are made as like-minded people ban together in opposition to preconceived ideas, situations, circumstances, or people in powerful positions, in an effort to make a stand and take the high road. This highly polarizing framework is very effective in influencing others to take action independently as they build confidence as a group.

3 Before and After

This was me before my massive transformation, this is me now. This is how I did it. You can do this, too.

4 It’s a Miracle!

These results would have never been realized had it not been for this miraculous discovery that made it all possible. Note that the its-a-miracle strategy is best portrayed by a persona who shares a particular pain point with the audience which has been overcome thanks to the “miracle.”

5 Secret Exposed

The desired result, whatever it is, is easily obtained “once you know the secret.” The Leader persona is often the best presenter for the secret(s)-exposed framework.

Supporting Your Credibility

No matter what you are presenting or how you try to present it, you will need methods to support your credibility. Of course, the first order of business is to be recognized as the,

Undeniable Expert in Your Field

If you’ve done the work to become the expert in your field, then when people look you up, they will feel more confident in aligning with your message and/or mission. Even so, there is little more impactful than,

Third-person Testimonials

The impact of social proof of your impact on the lives of others is irresistible and compelling. If you can get people to sing your praises for what you do on social media, this will propel what you are trying to accomplish greatly.

Do You Need a Value Ladder?

If you are not simply retail, and if you offer a product or especially a service, you could benefit from having a multi-tiered offering for your clients to have many options in how they connect with you. Do you need a value ladder? If you do, your clients can get the products and services they need from you and you can generate income from them based on how much money they want to give you.

Some people only want to pay the minimum cost for something. You may know some people like this. But there are others who desire to pay dearly for more personalized services. Having a value ladder in place helps your clients find their own sweet spot to support you and your service offerings.

Building a value ladder helps bring potential clients to your site, exposes your point of view to like-minded people, and increases your earning potential by giving them many ways to integrate with you and support your work by specifically voting with their dollars.

Like a ladder, there will be many rungs, each one raising higher and higher consecutively.

You want to entice your potential supporters with free products that have intrinsic value but lead to a product that they would be glad to pay for.

Free Offer

The first rung of the ladder is free, immediately accompanied with a tripwire offer, and the second rung of the ladder is a low-cost offer attached to the free offer.

If you are blogging every day, you are creating valuable content that you can direct them to.

You can give them a direct link to a specific blog post, give them a sample eBook, direct them to a how-to video, let them listen in on a pre-recorded meditation, give them a free introductory course, and let them attend a free webinar, etc.

This is how you begin to build affinity with your tribe.

If you have used the free method to connect to your people, when they are ready to pay, they will have confidence in your ability to help them, and they will vote for you with their dollars.


The tripwire is attached to the free offer. Oftentimes when someone is getting something free, they will opt to engage in a small upgrade if offered the chance to do so at the time of signing up for the free offer. So, they get the free item and a bonus which they pay for (the tripwire) that they receive together, and you’ve accomplished the feat of upgrading a lookie-loo into a customer. If they upgrade at this entry point, they are likely to buy and/or upgrade again if they are liking what you have to offer.

The purpose of the free offer and tripwire is to lead them to your core offer.

Core Offer

You must follow up with an offer to participate in your core offer once they’ve received your free offer.

This is where the potential client becomes your client and agrees to enlist your product or services by paying a higher price for your product or service(s).

Core offers can include e-books, seminars, or courses.

Higher Priced Offer

This is another rung up the ladder to give your clients a deeper understanding of what the possibilities could be with better results from the clients increasing their support and dollars to you. These individuals may need more of your personal attention.

The value of your higher-priced offer should be kept discrete, not disclosed throughout your site. Why? Because you can adjust this level to any level of pay as necessary. So, remain vague, except when people have actually made it to this level of the value ladder.

High-ticket Offer

This is the exclusive offer that only the people who can afford it can take advantage of it and these clients are part of a special group, and you can provide a private forum or group for them to interact with you and each other.

So, the question was, “Do You Need a Value Ladder?” and the answer is, “Yes,” but only if you want to monetize your book, business, ministry, or project.

If you want to have control of your own self-funding program, you need to give your people, your potential tribe, various means and methods to support you with their dollars.


How to ReEnergize Yourself When You’re Not Feeling It

So, there you are looking at a blank screen. You’ve committed to writing every day, but that blank screen is a perfect example of the ideas in your head right now. If you only knew how to reenergize yourself when you’re not feeling it. You’re idealess and you feel your energy slowly draining away. What can you do when you have no idea, and your energy is draining?

Walk it Off

Stop making it so hard on yourself. Take a break. If you do take a break, don’t take it in the vicinity that you are trying to write in. Get out of the room, the building if you can. Get outside and stretch your legs outdoors by going for a walk.

35 minutes of moving your body through the fresh air will rejuvenate your cells and reset your brain chemistry, energizing you, and allowing the ideas to flow through you once again.

Get Naked

Not completely naked, just your feet. And connect your feet to the earth in grass, soil, or sand. This is called earthing or grounding and it is highly beneficial for resetting your biochemistry by running negative ions throughout the cells of your body. You will appreciate this activity so much, especially if you have been exposed to regular radiation from common electrical devices which permeate our cells with a constant flow of bad energy. Earthing or grounding is a natural method of enhancing the production of serotonin. The natural flow of negative ions is also responsible for lifting one’s mood and reducing stress and anxiety.

Create and Maintain Sacred Space

Unless you are writing about casualties of war, depths of depression, or how horrible the world’s state of affairs is, take a media hiatus. The negative energy of the world will reduce the frequency of vibration of your energy body, and you will feel the effects of this negative energy the more you are exposed to it. So, turn it off, especially when you’re working, and you want your work to have a positive impact.

Prolonged exposure to negativity will drain your creative energy, and cause chaos and confusion in your thinking process. It will confound your ability to come up with new and exciting positive ideas to include in your work.

Your workspace should be as clean as possible from negative influences.

Create and Maintain Rituals

Creating and maintaining rituals throughout the day increases your confidence and productivity overall, plus, you feel better about living a life when you know what has happened and what’s coming next. Being careful not to overschedule your days, map them out. Create daily routines, line them up with the moving hands of the clock and do your best to remain within the structure in which you have surrounded yourself by.

This can bring you almost as much comfort as a baby might feel when swaddled and held in the arms of someone who cares deeply. You are the one who cares deeply about you and your project, and you are swaddling yourself in a blanket of safe and secure scheduling to accommodate all the rituals that you have determined to serve your highest and best work.

Settle into them and flourish.

Connect with Friends

Taking time to connect with friends will help break the ruts of thought that you may have restricted yourself to without even noticing it. Socializing with your people can help break the patterns of thought that you may have fallen into without realizing it. Doing so can release the flow of creative thought once again.

Depending on the friends you socialize with, certain people may have a draining effect on you. So, consider reevaluating the friends’ list you are maintaining. It may need adjustment to assure that you are surrounding yourself with positive, uplifting friends who will enhance your life, not drain life from you.

Take a Volunteer Break

When you can, take a break to volunteer, or offer to do something unexpectedly nice for someone. When you perform random acts of kindness or a helping hand to someone in need, this helps to break thought cycles that you may be stuck in, and it gives you a new sense of fresh vitality, which will breathe the breath of new life into your project when you return to it with vim and vigor.

Get Your Zees

Find ways to relax and get the sleep that you need every night so that you can maintain healthy levels of hormones and energy to sustain you throughout the day. There is not one widespread prescribed duration for sleep that works for everyone. There is a common consensus that eight hours is recommended, but for some people, eight hours is way too much and for others, it is far too little.

This is something that you have to determine for yourself. And once you’ve figured out what works for you make this a part of your daily rituals and stick to it.

Party On

This doesn’t mean to party just to party, but it does mean that when you’ve accomplished any feat that moves you significantly toward the target for which you are headed, then celebrate that shit. You are really doing this, no matter what anyone else thinks or says.

Even if it’s a party of one, it’s still a celebration of your accomplishment. So, reward yourself by doing that. This will help energize you for the next step.

Now, you know how to reenergize yourself when you’re not feeling it.


Get Up and Do Something

You’re working through the process of doing something good, something beneficial and potentially life-changing. Now, it’s hard to get up and do something. When you started, you had all the motivation necessary to see you through. Suddenly you find your motivation fading away and you start second-guessing and wondering if you’re doing the right thing or wasting your time?

You know if you bail out now, your life will be just the same as it was before. This will have been just another thing that you started at a time when you thought you could have a better life but for whatever reason, you just couldn’t do it.

You try to remind yourself that you life is not too bad and there are certainly a lot of people who are far worse off than you.

You’ve found yourself at a crossroad wondering which way to go. Do you find ways to push through the process, or do you find a way to graciously bow out?

The first thing to do is to have an honest talk with your inner and higher self to discover if you might be dealing with some form of depression. Depression affects more of us today, especially in America, because our food and water is contaminated with material that promotes depression. Therefore, we all, most of us who eat food and drink water that is readily available to us, are potentially moving in and out of depressive states at any time.

This problem is too difficult to fix at the time you are feeling like your motivation for seeking a better life is waning.

So, what can you do?

Let’s take a look at your sleep patterns. Are you finding that you require more than 8 hours of sleep? Is it hard to wake up or even get out of bed in the morning? Are you perfectly content, just lounging around in your pajamas, reclining, or laying on the couch all day? Do you find yourself taking naps throughout the day?

If so, these are pretty good indicators that you are dealing with issues related to depression, and if you don’t find a way to interrupt this pattern of behavior, you may find yourself living out the rest of your days with a steadily decreasing desire to pursue a better life for yourself.

The best thing you can do is to get out of bed, take a shower, get dressed, make the bed, eat breakfast, and do something. Make commitments to yourself or someone else to do anything where you might have to present yourself in an awakened and alert state of being.

Do a video call with someone. Create a morning routine, maybe start your own personal version of “Good Morning America” and do a video stream. Who cares if anyone watches it, and someone is likely to see it, but there you are, awake and engaged.

If this sounds impossible for you, just do it or something else, and feel free to take a 20-minute power nap afterwards. Set the alarm. When it goes off, think about doing something that will help to increase your life. Some small step.

Small steps toward creating a better life for yourself are cumulative, that is to say, one thing builds upon the other slowly, and even though you may not see the results when you’ve taken a step, after a while, you can look back and see how far you’ve moved from where you were in your life, and no doubt you are closer to a better life. If you don’t stop or turnaround and run back, you will keep getting closer to what you want.

And it all starts with getting out of bed, taking a shower, getting dressed, making the bed, eating breakfast, and doing something.

This will help to elevate your body’s intrinsic anti-depression chemistry and get your day going in the right direction.

Remembering not to beat yourself up too much when you’re not feeling 100%. The key is to keep moving and do something, even if it’s not much, but it moves you closer to your goal.

Maybe your intention was to read a chapter of that book, and you only made it through one page. No problem. Mark where you left off. Maybe you will get a chance to read more later, maybe not, but recognize that you are one page closer to where you want to be.

And as you continue to do this, it will get easier.