When Someone Calls You a Liar

What can you do when someone calls you a liar? That’s a tough question and one of the most difficult situations between two people. You have told the truth, whoever you’ve told it to doesn’t believe you, and to make matter worse, you’ve been called a liar.

If you are telling the truth, what else can you do?

You are never obligated to defend yourself against someone who accuses you of being dishonest when you have stated the truth. Trying to defend yourself, or prove what you are saying can make matters even worse.

If someone believes you are lying, nothing you do can help sway their mind, or what they think about your ability to be honest in most cases and standing up for yourself can make matters worse as the person who thinks you are lying will think your insistence “proves” (in their mind that you are lying.

When you tell the truth, it reflects upon your integrity. We all have different levels of integrity, but regardless when you’ve told the truth, and you know in good conscious that you have told the truth, you need to just speak your truth and let it be.

It is not up to you to convince anyone that they are wrong about you.

You never know what’s going on inside someone else’s head. They might not trust you for any of a million reasons and their lack of trust in your ability, to tell the truth, tells you more about them than it does about you.

They can falsely accuse you of a great many things and call you names which can cut you like a knife in an attempt to get you to crack open. While this does not feel good, and can make you feel awful, you may feel like changing your story just to stop their crazy and abusive behavior, then where are you?

You might think it’s no big deal, so you change your story to accommodate their insistence that you are not trustworthy. You just want to be accepted. While this may stop the onslaught of abusive interrogation, this person will never trust you again.

It is quite a conundrum, but you are not responsible for what someone else thinks about you.

Unfortunately, this can escalate to unreasonable proportions. Our society has a corrupt legal system, that while it is imperfect, it’s the best we have at this time in the world, and for the most part (even if the most part is only represented by 51 percent of the time) it is mostly effective, even if sometimes it is absolutely wrong and unjust.

Some people, empowered by this system and know how to manipulate it, can cause a great deal of pain and suffering to those whoever they desire. These people can be motivated by a sense of self-righteousness, revenge, haunted by their own inner demons, or to exert superiority over someone else.

The best you can do is to speak your truth and let it be. Love the person who accuses you and walk away if you can, knowing you did the best you could. Do not engage in an argument, because as you may already know, some people will persist in beating you into submission, and for what?

Because they are so embroiled in their position that they might do anything to prove you wrong?

This is an argument or battle you may never be able to win.

Unfortunately. people lie all the time. And once you’ve been lied to, it’s hard to trust again, especially if you do not have the power of love to fall back on, and the realization that everyone is entitled to live their lives in the best way they can with the tools they have available to them at any moment.

Wars are fought, and many lives are wasted in fighting over differences in belief. It is your choice to fight, or not.

Interestingly enough, if you can find a way to stay in the vibration of love, and refuse to engage in a defensive position, you will be able to see other options as they are revealed to you.

Even though it may look like you are facing impossible odds, you will be afforded other options, and you will find yourself living a more advanced life of love and honor.

Stay true to you and seek not to force others to see from your point of view, only love.

The world we live in is not perfect, but it’s the best we have. It’s up to us to make the best of it, and find ways to pave a better road for generations that follow.

We can change the world, and it will evolve into a better world, if we only love, for love is the most powerful force for good.

Why People Say One Thing but Do Another

As integrous as I try to be, even I may say one thing and do another. For the longest time, I thought the one thing I would like to have etched in my gravestone would be the words, “Here lies a man who kept his words and lived by them.” Yet, even I can see that even I fall short, if I am able to see myself objectively. This leaves you wondering, “Why people say one thing and do another?”

The answer is far more complex than you might think. People are not as they appear, ever. You can have a general sense of how someone is, but you will never know everything which comprises any person you think you know, even if you know their entire backstory. You can never know what’s going on in someone else’s head.

All of us are a jumbled mess of incongruencies. Living, breathing contradictions. As hard as you might try to set an example of keeping your word, of being congruent, living a life in harmony with the words you speak, the contracts you make, still you falter, even if you can’t see it at the time (and few of us can see it due to the limitation(s) of our perspective in the moment).

Our lives are filled with living contradictions with our words, our agreements, and our lives.

There are contradictions in the words we say, like, “I’ll be there at four,” and you show up at 3:55 or 4:05. “I will pick up the items on your list from the store,” but you forget to get the milk which was on the list.

Every once and a while, even with the best intentions, we fall short of the words we speak. Unintentionally, life prevents us from being perfectly in alignment with the words we speak.

Contradictions in the contracts we make. You agree to make your payments on time, yet every so often, you are late and incur a late fee, get turned into collections, file bankruptcy, lose your car, or your house.

Some people go so far as to pledge their love and allegiance to another in marriage and end up getting a divorce.

Contradictions in the life we lead, like you see someone who lives their life with integrity, vowing never to engage in self-harm, yet he or she stuffs their mouths with unhealthy food and is overweight.

Or there are heavy people who do not exercise, yet wear sports apparel which contradicts their lifestyle.

Someone could live their lives in complete and utter chaos, but their home is immaculate.

The list goes on and on, as our lives demonstrate that we are not what we say or think we are.

Someone might be saying that they would never do or say a thing, while they are doing the very thing they say they would never do.

Some people go so far as to accuse you of doing something they are actively doing in the moment. If that isn’t confusing, I don’t know what is.

Having the knowledge of these life incongruencies can help you find the triggers which create the contradictions in your life.

You see yourself as a kind and loving person, yet you judge and criticize others, or could care less about people who are not intimately associated with you.

Now that you know that this is a contradiction in your life, you can take the steps necessary to either make the changes or redefine your perception of yourself to include the variations.

This is the decision made by those who desire to live a life of alignment or coherence.

These are the people who self-evaluate and make the necessary adjustments in their lives to be less of a human contradiction in an effort to live a harmonious lifestyle.

Do you know people say one thing and do another? Are you one of them?

I think if you are honest, you will find that you are. We all are to some degree or another.

What’s a good example of people say one thing and do another?

Who are You Insurmountable Odds?

What you do every day defines you, exponentially overshadowed by who you are and what you do when facing insurmountable odds. Who are you insurmountable odds?

When all hope is lost and you feel like you just can’t go on… There is hope. It may only a glimmer of the slightest otherwise failing ember, but it is there, waiting for you to reignite the flame.

Who you are and what you do in the face of insurmountable odds further defines you influencing your capacity to be an inspiration for others in their most challenging moments, possibly raising your status to legendary.

Though who you are and what you do when facing those critical, pivotal moments in life are not about others, it’s about you. Even so, when it seems like there is no energy to draw from left within you, thinking about how your actions might affect the community at large, people you know, your family, or your children may be the catalyst to afford you a second wind.

Somewhere from within, you are able to find the strength to take a deep cleansing breath, you re-center yourself yes, you utter, “It’s all I can stands, and I can’t stands no more.”

This can be the turning point in your story. If you think about the greatest stories, don’t they feature the main character facing insurmountable odds? Just as when you’re reading a book or watching a film, this is often the most exciting part of the story, right?

Well, this is your story. You are writing your story from moment to moment every day. You make 35,000 decisions every day. That’s 35,000 times you can influence the direction your story takes.

You are living your story right now, and you are the star, of what very well could be The Best Story Ever! It’s up to you. How will you decide to write your story?

What do you do when you face the most difficult circumstances, when it appears that all hope is lost?

You can be miles ahead in the game of facing challenges and obstacles which may appear to be overwhelming if you have a strong sense of who you are, your Purpose, Message, Passion, and Mission (PMPM).

By reviewing your most meaningful personal motivators with love, strength, and honor, it will help dictate what the next steps should be in accordance with your purpose, message, passion, and mission. You will be able to ascertain what your character (you) should do in those moments when facing insurmountable odds.

To support you in those times when you feel you just can’t go on, you should be able to draw upon a wealth of experience where you have been faithful and true in the little things. This is the character-building actions you take every day that strengthens your resolve and stores up for you hidden treasures of integrous and powerful resources which you can call upon when the going gets tough.

Your diligence and commitment to follow through in small things regularly builds your discipline and determination. It is the faithfulness to do the small things, even when you don’t feel like it, or you’re unable to recognize a particular value in what you’re doing, that builds your resilience and strength of character; your ability to do the right thing. These are invaluable resources when facing the life’s biggest challenges.

When you are exercising diligence, you are working through the discomfort, and developing a vibratory state which you can work within which enables you to continue to do the right thing, regardless of the extraneous circumstances. It may not seem like much when you’re practicing this every day, but when it matters most, you will find yourself courageously and powerfully prepared to deal with the most difficult issues when they arise, all do to your developed skill of entering a state of productivity which cannot be shaken by external circumstances.

Your integrity will help in being true to your word. You said it, so it is. If you’ve made a commitment, you said you will do something, you will do it, come hell or high water, and you expect nothing less from those who are on your team. If you have a team, you hold each other accountable with the highest levels of integrity.

If all things are possible, then the real question is, “Who are you in surmountable odds?”

This is your story.

You are the hero.

So hero up.

Truth and Integrity

What is integrity? What is it? How does it work and what does it mean to different people in their quest for truth?

Integrity and what it means can look very different, depending on who you are. Integrity is remaining congruent with that greater part of you while maintaining an authentic representation of your self with respect to your journey.

There are very few (possibly no) universal truths on which we as the human race can all agree. Nevertheless, you and I maintain truths that are apparent to each of us, and even these are subject to change as we grow and change. Even two people can view the same incident and report what they’ve seen very differently, based on their perspective and their own life’s experience and language patterns. Unless they have some nefarious motivation their differences are not considered untrue. Just because you’re interpretation of something is different from someone else’s does not mean either one of you, or anyone else is a liar.

It’s highly unlikely that two people could possibly write the same report word for word regarding any incident witnessed due to the fact that we are different people and we all see things differently based on who we are. Our lives, experiences and what is meaningful to us varies immensely among our population, The onus is on you to determine what is truth to you. Certainly there are people who have researched and specialized in different disciplines, but it is up to you what to adopt as truth to you at any given time, remembering that this is always subject to change due to access to new information. Therefore, what was true for you yesterday may not be true for you today.

Being true and congruent with what you currently believe while honoring the right of others to have a contrasting belief is the integrous approach to evaluating truth. You are not responsible for what another person believes. There is no need to change what they believe, as it is up to each person to make their own way and discover their own truths along their own individual journeys.

Your personal vibration and your intuitive heart-mind connection will help you to determine what truth means to you in any given moment, understanding that truth is ever-evolving, there may be moments of uncertainty during the reevaluation process. The more in tune you are with your heart’s frequency vibration, the faster the evolvement of your truth. As your personal vibration continues to raise, so will your perception of higher truths. Temper this personal growth with tolerance, allowing others to do the best they can with what they have without judgment.

An integral portion of your life’s purpose is to observe, nurture and maintain your expanding vision of truth, utilizing your heart’s connection to source to help you discern advancements and their validity to your consciousness.

As you adopt new revelations you may be compelled to share your new insights with others. By all means do so. But do not insist that anyone else see things from your perspective. Let others take what they resonate with as they plant and care for it in their garden of truth. Allow others to let your other seeds of truth which they are not ready for to fall on the ground. You never know which seeds left unattended on the surface will germinate and grow on their own.

Our world and our connection to it is changing. The archaic institutions and systems of control (including our imposed belief systems) are losing their effectiveness and validity. New, expanding and evolutionary thought is the key to the sustainability of our future. You are an active part of this evolution which is taking place at this moment.

Your contribution to help in making the world a better place is discerning your own truth as it emerges and becomes refined in your heart and mind. Being congruent to this process of revelation in integrity is imperative to your ability to contribute.

None of us holds the entirety of all the truth. Each of us maintain our own specialty and only together can we achieve a better understanding of emerging truths, and when we unite in love, together we can achieve a higher vibration and evolutionary expansion affecting the whole world.

Where’s the Integrity?

Wait-a-minute, if I have integrity and I give someone my word (like I will do something at some point in the future), well, that’s then and this is now. If I’ve told someone I was going to do something in the past, that was so then and it doesn’t matter now. So, if I make a promise to you, it doesn’t matter? What about someone else’s promise to me? Where’s the integrity in that?

Want the truth? Nothing really matters.

You just have to realize that life on planet earth is a lot of some-will-some-won’t-next. If you can wrap your head around this, you will be okay, but it’s hard, because we’re not programmed to allow what is to be.

I am a product of my programming and I have a huge Integrity component. I feel like, if I tell someone something, it must be true and it’s up to me to make it true no matter what the cost because I want to be remembered as an intengrous person, one who has always kept his word. For the longest time, I thought, if my tombstone had anything on it, it should read, “Here lies an honest man. If nothing else, he was good to his word.” Which sounds good on the surface, but if you look at it, there it is: Lies and Honest in the same reference, as if it was to be something good.

And what does it mean to be good to your word?

Is it really any good to suffer through pain, turmoil, tragedy, confusion and angst, just because you uttered certain words in the heat of the moment? How good is that? Wouldn’t it be more good to say, “Sorry, something came up. I just can’t make it.”?

I can hear all the Eckhart Tolle fans starting to murmur in the background about my finally starting to get a clue.

I mean, what kind of a prison have I committed myself to?

Actually, I do maintain a high level of integrity, although I must admit, I am less happy than the folks who are actively more apt to be less integrous and live in the now.

Take a look at someone you know who has no idea about what it means to keep their word – no concept of it – because they’re so blissfully living in the now. What do you see? Happiness. They truly have found a way to be content and joyful, by disregarding anything that isn’t and only seeing what is.

As I move away from selfishness and more toward allowing what is to be, I find myself less judgmental against someone whom I might have considered a liar in the past. Why? Because this is the unrealistic expectation I had of myself. This was my standard. I militantly adhered to the ridiculous concept that if I were to utter a certain sequence of words at any time, and if they were not manifest as I had uttered them, then I would be a liar and deserving of severe punishment (at least personal berating). So, it was not unreasonable for me to hold others to the same standard.

Say something. If it does not manifest as you said, you were a liar. (Oh, silly Masters.)

I have to credit business principles for introducing me to concepts, like, some-will-some-won’t-next. It is a reference commonly used to put salespeople at ease in their dealing with rejection. When you pitch your spiel, then there are only two possible outcomes, followed by your best course of action: Next; keep it moving.

That’s all well and good in business but to apply it to life was well beyond my ability to comprehend. What about integrity?

Really? What about it?

Where is the integrity in life?

“Life is the least integrous system ever conceived.”

If anything, life (as we know it) is the least integrous system ever conceived. It is full of chaos, dysfunction, unexpected twists and turns and for god’s sake, even such random acts as to be referred to as acts of god!

And through all this confusion, if you’re listening, you start to hear the gentle flow of isness in the background; that soothing vibration of allowing things to be as they are. It doesn’t mean you don’t get your feelings hurt, suffer pain or loss along the way. By all means, do. Cry, scream, rant, rave – whatever your fancy – then be done with it.

Next. Keep it moving…

In life,
some things will work out the way you wanted
Some won’t.
Next.

Thank god for the many nexts we are afforded in this life.

Amen.

What Does Integrity Mean?

I talk a lot about integrity when I am working with people, and you’d be surprised to find that while people will agree about integrity’s importance, they may perceive its definition differently.

While the official definition of integrity might be:

“The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.”

There is a deeper meaning among those who are on a path to enlightenment; a more accurate integrity definition would be something, like this:

“To have integrity means you hold yourself to a high standard of doing the things you say regardless circumstance or feeling.”

to-have-integrity-means-you-hold-yourself-to-a-standard-of-doing-the-things-you-say-regardless-circumstance-or-feeling

In other words, you keep your word, elsewise no one could truly put their trust in you. An old adage referring to integrity was, “A man’s word is his bond.” This translates to

“If I tell you something, you can count on it coming to pass.”

Back in the day, this standard of integrity only applied to the masculine sex due to their ability to make a thing so was far more likely due to the feminine’s lack of resources; this does not apply today, as women too have the ability to manifest a result just as equally (or more so) than their male counterparts.

The first objection to come to mind for anyone contemplating the heaviness of possessing a high degree of integrity and the meaning of integrity in general might be

“What if I change my mind?”

Change is a matter to be weighed any time anyone makes a commitment, gives their word or generally agrees to anything. It is a constant throughout time that things will happen, circumstances may change or additional knowledge may have been withheld at the time the affirmation was agreed to.

“So, what do I do, if I gave my word and now find myself in a quandary?”

Integrity also allows for the integrous individual to alter his or her word, without much loss of one’s value of integrity if it is handled with integrity.

An integrous person who is unable to keep their word must approach the active party/parties with humility and honesty, explaining their inability to keep his or her word due to whatever circumstances apply, then ask for feedback, solutions or alternatives to make things right.

The highest level of integrity would be to keep your word and follow through regardless of feelings, circumstances of even due to lack of integrity of other parities who may have been involved. The next best thing would be to enter a negotiation to see if all parties can agree on a compromise that they all can live with. It might not be ideal or completely integrous, but it is honorable to

Do the right thing

Which may mean considering changes in circumstances and renegotiation; though it can be problematic if after much deliberation no compromise can be found.

If no compromise can be agreed to there may be an inevitable loss of integrity as well as trust that may have been associated with it.

If you find yourself often unable to keep your word, you may find that you agree to things too quickly, without practicing due diligence or reviewing the ramifications of your commitment prior to agreement. In this case, consider enforcing your own hesitation to allow time for thoughtful consideration before agreeing to anything. This can help to preserve your integrity.

Recovery of a high level of integrity may be established after a time of demonstrating one’s level of integrity over time.

A small number of people within our population actually adhere to any level of integrity, as the majority focus completely on how they feel at any given moment, and this lack of integrity has led our society to where it is today.

On the other hand, there are people, like us, who choose to hold ourselves to a higher standard.

If nothing else, people know us by our ability to follow through and be counted on, regardless of circumstance or how we feel.

This is the definition of integrity.