false accusation | David M Masters

Deflection is Better than Defense

Fighting back or direct resistance only leads to more harm, using love, deflection is better than resistance because it decreases the damage to you while your opponent continues to fight in force until they become disinterested in the battle or have exhausted their resources.

In a battle, you can never have enough weapons to combat a formidable foe. A fight between two individuals fighting against each other always results in a great deal of pain and suffering, which may include broken bones and spilled blood. So, the smart thing to do is not to fight back in defense of yourself.

This applies to physical confrontation, as well as psychological confrontation, or response to any attack from any type or style of attacker.

In the olden days, an actor was cast in a TV show based on a Shaolin monk facing all kinds of attacks responding in Kung Fu fashion, which is primarily deflection of physical attack, using the opponent’s power of force against themselves. The actor was David Carradine, who didn’t know anything about Kung Fu at the time but playing the part in the Kung Fu TV show so inspired him that he did become an avid student and teacher of Tai Chi and Qigong.

Having been exposed to this television show did influence me and my response to fighting of any kind. Therefore, I have little respect for an all-out fistfight, am inclined to avoid a brute force battle, and prefer to be the one who walks away from any confrontation in as pristine condition as possible.

I have not been able to avoid physical confrontation, but I have survived these encounters with as little damage to myself by following these principles.

1. Do not respond
2. Do not defend
3. Apply love
4. Avoid blows
5. Deflect blows when necessary
6. Do not counterattack
7. Use the opponent’s power against them

Then, walk away unscathed.

I am not trying to convince anyone to follow these principles, I am just expressing that this is what I do, whether it is a physical altercation or any other type of potential battle.

When I was attacked by a prolific psychopath, I documented everything and applied these principles.

I remained steadfast and simply ignored everything the psychopath tried to say about me or do to me, and applied love’s perspective to the man who was attacking me. I wondered why someone might end up being like that? What kind of a life must he have lived? What must he have suffered as a young child? I tried to imagine what it must be like to walk a mile in his shoes. I sent him love, hoping he might be able to find a way to a better life.

Most would have lost interest and found some other mark to pursue, but this one made a lifetime vow with the commitment of all his resources, and those of others, to destroy me.

In this particular circumstance, the psychopath (because he could not be satisfied by my response), took the battle to the media and my circle of influence.

Still not wanting to fight back, I had no choice but to engage, because the psycho had started attacking my friends, and family. Attack me, fine, but to go after my children (who are sacred to me) requires my protection of them.

Attempting to keep my wits about me, I did respond to the psychopath with deflection and using the psycho’s own power of force against himself.

Fortunately for me, the psychopath left threatening messages on my answering machine. I posted them on YouTube. Now, he had a venue where he could spin all his efforts against me, and I empowered him to do so.

Did I care? No. I am impenetrable. Anything he says about me is not true, and I don’t care, nor do I respond to any ridiculous accusations.

Now, I did get a flood of attention from friends and family who feared for me, especially those who the psycho was able to make fearful in his attacks on them because of my not responding. I just told them not to worry, and apologized for any overflow which had affected their lives, but told them that I was attempting to protect them by placing his focus back on me.

Without directly engaging or defending, I just posted everything he threw at me online, and let it be.

In the process, I was able to help countless other potential victims see the psychopath (a lifetime criminal con man) for who he was prior to losing their life’s savings and suffering continued abuse by the psychopath by finding some of this information online.

He was forced to change his identity and possibly even fake his own death in order to continue his life of crimes in the exploitation of others.

I apply this to any confrontation by anyone, even if someone were to say in an interview (in this fictitious example), “According to,” (some source that was leaked by the psychopath), “you kill babies and bury them in your backyard. What do you have to say about that?”

My only response would be, “It is my personal policy not to respond to any false accusation. Next?”

When what I wanted to do is to counter-attack, like ask the interviewer, “What about your collection of clown noses and pickled small toes of circus performers who have mysteriously disappeared? What about those?”

It is your sacred right not to respond to a false accusation, not to even dignify it with any response. Regardless of your good intentions, and the inclination to defend yourself and your good name, any response can be used as a weapon against you, or to fuel the fire of further attack.

In this way, deflection is better than defense.

Next.

Twisting Your Words to Make You Look Bad

Don’t you just hate it when someone twists your words, gets all heated up, and attacks you – using your own words – to put you on the defensive or make you upset. What’s happening? What can you do when someone’s twisting your words to make you look bad.

First of all, this is a common practice in the media because it creates the best soundbites, which causes people to tune in to your news show, radio program, media event, or a potentially viral meme on social media. In this arena, it’s called “spin,” and it’s an acceptable practice covered by free speech and parody, especially in public venues. Nonetheless, your words can be a very powerful weapon to hurt, harm, or disable any potential for good someone might have had in the world.

Far more common is the way someone in your social circle might twist your words to make you look bad. This is a tool used by many individuals who are not self-confident, have been severely victimized in the past, or live under high degrees of oppression, stress, or fear.

Twisting your words to make you look bad is an effective defense mechanism utilized by someone to project ideas hidden deep within their heart or psyches onto you, which releases the emotional pressure from unresolved emotional wounds left to fester and grow.

Such a person is not likely to be open to your suggestion of this fact. If wounded people are looking for demons, they will find them everywhere they look, until they awake to the idea that they might have some negative repression that is happening inside, and are willing to not only look at it but do the work of dealing with these issues to resolve them.

In the meantime, they will twist your words to make you look bad, which can have a huge negative impact on you, making you actually feel bad. When used effectively, the damaged individual twisting your words will make you feel bad, and this causes the sufferer to feel better, as they have transferred their pent-up emotional pain to you. This offers them relief. That’s why they do it.

He or she will continue to project these ideas onto you because his or her reward is feeling better about his-or-her-self by twisting your words to make you look bad. So, they are highly motivated to engage in this assaultive and potentially abusive activity.

In normal circumstances, you would be motivated to defend yourself against this attack or false accusation. It is a normal reaction to defend yourself if you’ve been falsely accused. The only problem with reacting defensively is that it creates more momentum for the breeding ground of this unfortunate circumstance which you’ve found yourself in.

Understanding this might offer you enough emotional space to not react defensively. Instead of adding more energy to the confrontation, which causes an increasing cycle of adding energy to an impossible situation, because no amount of your defensiveness or rationale will slay the emotionally injured person’s demons.

Plus, you can have some compassion or empathy for the person who is twisting your words in an accusatory fashion, because you know they are wounded and suffering inside, being careful not to feel sorry for them, because that would insinuate your superiority. Instead, you realize that if you were him or her, having lived the life he or she has lived up to this point, you would have reacted in exactly the same way.

A simple and calm response, such as, “That’s not what I meant, but you’re entitled to your own opinion,” might be enough to side-step a potentially volatile situation. If you don’t want to make things worse, it’s best to just avoid any conflict in this situation.

No one can make you look or feel bad unless you empower them by adding fuel to their fire and being defensive. There is no need for you to respond to anyone’s ridiculous false accusations or attempts to make you look bad.

Simply do not respond to anyone’s attempts to attack or discredit you, whether they are twisting your words, or concocting their own, unless you choose to offer clarification, for any part that may be true. But if you do offer clarification, try to find the space to think through the ramifications for doing so, because you may be offering up even more ammunition for them to fire back at you with even more word twisting.

If you are masterfully self-aware and tolerant, you might offer yourself up as a shock absorber for this person to release as much of their pent-up frustrations as possible. To do so effectively, you must have the ability or skill of letting someone verbally attack or abuse you without being emotionally engaged. A martyr might do so in lieu of having the ability or skill to avoid suffering the emotional consequences. Unless this is your calling or part of your life’s purpose, this will likely not apply to you.

So, we’ve discussed why people in public venues and media might twist your words, and why those who are emotionally wounded, or low self-esteem might do so, but we haven’t talked about why a psychopath or someone on the predatory end of the anti-social personality spectrum might twist your words to make you feel bad.

Their motivation is to undermine or destroy you and/or your credibility altogether. This is an entirely different subject, yet your response should be the same. Do not add fuel to the fire by defending yourself, walk away, and find someplace safe to be, where you can avoid the psychopath or sociopath.

<br />

How to Deal With the Emotional Outbursts of Others

Are there people in your life who are a constant source of frustration? People who rub you the wrong way, make you a little crazy, find that single raw nerve, tweaking your otherwise sound sense of calm, then wreck your whole outlook on life, with a single word or gesture?

Consider, if you are willing, to seek out what is hiding beneath the surface.

People will interrupt your state of being for a wide variety of reasons including personality quirks, lack of self-esteem, current or past trauma, inability to handle stressors of life, jealousy, awkward expression or communication styles, mental or physical health concerns, or narcissism are among the most common.

Not possessing the necessary awareness, emotional/communication tools, they may only be able to strike out in an abrasive manner which may be disrespectful, putting others down, making false accusations, demonstrating abrupt, unrestrained angst, anger, or other destructive behavior, including stonewalling (the silent treatment).

When they strike out at you, it’s perfectly understandable and normal for you to think it’s about you because that’s representative of the words they are using when they are pointing their finger at you and addressing “you,” accusing you of being the cause of their emotional outburst.

Even though they are blaming you for their state of mind, this negative energy is sourced and expressed from something deeply disconcerting from deep within themselves. They need to release some of the pressure from these deep, dark secrets and/or unresolved inner conflicts, or else they might explode.

Not understanding how much pain this out-of-control person is, could let you take their emotional display personally. It can actually transfer some of their pain to you, and you get upset or defensive, launching your own emotional overwhelm or outburst.

Losing sight of what’s really happening behind the scenes can cause you to forfeit your power and cause your otherwise high vibrational state of mind to sink to their level, as you do battle in those primal vibratory states of mind.

Following the seduction of your compromised vibration, you might play the event over and over again in your mind, possibly further prolonging your angst about the event, and you might even be distracted by trying to figure out how you could fix things, do or say just the right thing to potentially change the person you shared this experience with.

You may forget that you cannot change anyone, and neither should you even try.

The only thing you can change is you.

How to Deal With the Emotional Outbursts of Others

The next time someone strikes out at you reclaim your power by trying to understand what is happening deep inside the heart and soul of the person who is acting up. Realize, no matter how hard they try to blame or insist that you are the cause for their upset, you are not.

Also, consider that even though you know you are not the cause of their present emotional state, keep in mind that there may be a hidden treasure or truth inside their out of control expression that is a sacred message meant especially for you.

You might uncover something about yourself, where you could grow or change if you can filter out all the upset of the delivery method and find something deep within yourself which could be an opportunity for you to look deep inside from a different perspective.

There will be people whose negative outbursts are just their way of releasing pressure and have little or no prolonged consequence. Try to humbly accept the therapeutic position, possibly even feeling blessed to be the vehicle this person has selected to release this emotional pressure. Some of us are better shock absorbers than others.

It is unnecessary to defend yourself or fight with someone in such a destructive behavioral pattern. Find that safe place within and allow them to release without allowing their upset to compromise your vibration.

You are never expected to remain in an abusive situation. Do not let someone else threaten or terrorize you. Remove yourself from any potentially dangerous circumstances. Don’t let them get to you, retain your power and walk away in love.

You are all-powerful and have full authority to protect your sacred emotional space while allowing life to go on all around you.

You can choose to be unaffected by the dysfunction of others while looking after your own safety and security in peace and harmony.

When Someone Calls You a Liar

What can you do when someone calls you a liar? That’s a tough question and one of the most difficult situations between two people. You have told the truth, whoever you’ve told it to doesn’t believe you, and to make matter worse, you’ve been called a liar.

If you are telling the truth, what else can you do?

You are never obligated to defend yourself against someone who accuses you of being dishonest when you have stated the truth. Trying to defend yourself, or prove what you are saying can make matters even worse.

If someone believes you are lying, nothing you do can help sway their mind, or what they think about your ability to be honest in most cases and standing up for yourself can make matters worse as the person who thinks you are lying will think your insistence “proves” (in their mind that you are lying.

When you tell the truth, it reflects upon your integrity. We all have different levels of integrity, but regardless when you’ve told the truth, and you know in good conscious that you have told the truth, you need to just speak your truth and let it be.

It is not up to you to convince anyone that they are wrong about you.

You never know what’s going on inside someone else’s head. They might not trust you for any of a million reasons and their lack of trust in your ability, to tell the truth, tells you more about them than it does about you.

They can falsely accuse you of a great many things and call you names which can cut you like a knife in an attempt to get you to crack open. While this does not feel good, and can make you feel awful, you may feel like changing your story just to stop their crazy and abusive behavior, then where are you?

You might think it’s no big deal, so you change your story to accommodate their insistence that you are not trustworthy. You just want to be accepted. While this may stop the onslaught of abusive interrogation, this person will never trust you again.

It is quite a conundrum, but you are not responsible for what someone else thinks about you.

Unfortunately, this can escalate to unreasonable proportions. Our society has a corrupt legal system, that while it is imperfect, it’s the best we have at this time in the world, and for the most part (even if the most part is only represented by 51 percent of the time) it is mostly effective, even if sometimes it is absolutely wrong and unjust.

Some people, empowered by this system and know how to manipulate it, can cause a great deal of pain and suffering to those whoever they desire. These people can be motivated by a sense of self-righteousness, revenge, haunted by their own inner demons, or to exert superiority over someone else.

The best you can do is to speak your truth and let it be. Love the person who accuses you and walk away if you can, knowing you did the best you could. Do not engage in an argument, because as you may already know, some people will persist in beating you into submission, and for what?

Because they are so embroiled in their position that they might do anything to prove you wrong?

This is an argument or battle you may never be able to win.

Unfortunately. people lie all the time. And once you’ve been lied to, it’s hard to trust again, especially if you do not have the power of love to fall back on, and the realization that everyone is entitled to live their lives in the best way they can with the tools they have available to them at any moment.

Wars are fought, and many lives are wasted in fighting over differences in belief. It is your choice to fight, or not.

Interestingly enough, if you can find a way to stay in the vibration of love, and refuse to engage in a defensive position, you will be able to see other options as they are revealed to you.

Even though it may look like you are facing impossible odds, you will be afforded other options, and you will find yourself living a more advanced life of love and honor.

Stay true to you and seek not to force others to see from your point of view, only love.

The world we live in is not perfect, but it’s the best we have. It’s up to us to make the best of it, and find ways to pave a better road for generations that follow.

We can change the world, and it will evolve into a better world, if we only love, for love is the most powerful force for good.

<br />

Make Someone Love You

As much as you love someone, you can never love them enough to make them love you. Someone will either love you or they won’t. You will be able to trust them, or you won’t. They will either stay, or they will leave and no matter how much you love them, you cannot make someone love you back.

Since people have been exchanging love one to another, unrequited love has been an issue. It’s nothing new, and it’s not likely to change any day soon.

The False Accusation Breakup

There is a growing trend of demonization that is becoming more commonplace in the breakup process. When someone is secretly planning a breakup, they start collecting words and phrases uttered by you dating back to the origination of your relationship.

Data will likely include decisions you made or actions you’ve taken, which all can be spun into wild false accusations which would make others, possibly even yourself, question your capacity for love or sanity, which could be considered as abusive.

The false accusation breakup model is designed to hurt you and make you feel better about this person’s departure.

Until recently, this was a psychological tool utilized by psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists. Today, this is more common in our contemporary culture. When something invades popular culture, like this, there is little you can do about it, so until this method runs its course, try not to take it personally (though nothing could be more personal than a personal attack focused on you and your integrity).

Your attacker (the person breaking it off with you) has had plenty of time to prepare, and there is no way for you to compete or respond appropriately to each and every accusation, which will be voluminous.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of such an attack, your best move is just to listen, try not to let yourself be offended by all the accusations, and just let him or her air all their issues. Try to listen and interject with the, “Oh, I’m sorry,” or, “I didn’t realize that.”

The key is not to become offended or defensive about these exaggerated charges against you. This whole process is far less about you than it is meant to appear.

Your accuser has already left and has likely already made plans that do not include you. He or she has already left, and this particular act of demonizing you is his or her way of justifying their recent actions and final disconnection.

Any attempt to reason with someone who is unjustly rapid-firing a long list of false accusations will only delay the false accusation breakup performance and its ultimate outcome. So, just let them do what they have to do, and let them go.

Will it be painful? Yes, it will because you’ve been blindsided. You didn’t see this coming and it’s shocking when it happens. And because this break-up method is becoming more and more popular, you’re likely to encounter it more than once.

Remember that when someone is done with you, they are done. When they’ve initiated your crucifixion on their own, acting as accuser, judge, and jury. There is nothing you can do about it but delay the inevitable.

You cannot make someone love you, who has already left and disconnected from you. He or she may return later after they have put you through this and accomplished whatever it was that motivated them to do this to you.

If he or she returns, you have to seriously ask yourself if this is the kind of person you want to align yourself with. There is the likelihood that you will have to suffer this again in the future, and it will be worse the next time.

No one can make this decision for you. This is something you have to work out for yourself and whatever you decide will be right for you, because all things work out for good, even if it looks unlikely at the time.

So, see it for what it is, and let him or her say whatever is necessary to justify him-or-her-self. Let them go and remember,