inner strength | David M Masters

Strong Not Broken

I had a client with whom I was working who had intimated to me her traumatic past relationships with men which led her to the conclusion that she no longer desired to expose her heart to another man, and she made a vow never to do so again.

I assumed this might put her at a disadvantage when it came to having love in her life, and I suggested that she might reconsider her position because this might be blocking other areas of her life as well, especially because we’re talking about “love,” which she agreed was the most powerful force in (and/or beyond) the universe. It is the key which unlocks all doors which stand between us and the desires of our heart.

She was quick to correct me. She had filled her life with so much love, loving deeply family, her community, others who had little or no love in their lives, animals, nature, all living things, and those beyond. Her life was not one of brokenness but one of love, an enthusiastic abundance of love.

She admitted she had been broken by the men she had allowed herself to be victimized by, those who disrespected her, abused, and terrorized her, but when she decided to deny them access to that most vulnerable organ inside her, it was not out of fear, or fueled by pain from the past.

It was the most powerful decision she had ever made in strength and honor which enabled her to freely open herself in unconditional love in all other areas of her life. Since making this decision, she has been able to interact and work with men in her field, and throughout all other areas of life, without the threat of being vulnerable, hurt, disrespected, or loved by them.

She could powerfully interact with them intimately, for a limited amount of time, without risk of developing a deeper connection, for she did enjoy having them in and around her life, but not allowing them access to her heart.

She had built a stronghold, a mighty fortress, not around her heart, but only around that area which focused only on men, and who could blame her if you’d had the opportunity to learn the depths of darkness, she had endured while her heart was held captive by a succession of abusive monsters.

This fortress was not built in weakness or fear. This fortress was built in love. Pure love, which enabled her to freely love everything that is, protecting her and allowing her to live other days, one after the other, in love.

It has been many years of her living this life of love, without a thought of exposing herself to the idea of romance and she continues to live a happy life, full of love, without regret. She never has the thought of what it might be to have romantic love in her life.

And when she sees someone, a couple who appears to be enthusiastically in the throes of love, she blesses them, wishing for them all the love which they seek to find in each other, without imposing her views upon them. She loves them, the idea of love, and sends them some of her love in hopes that it will help them have all the best things in life together, and that their love will overflow to others.

There is no doubt, this woman is living a life of love. “Romantic love” in her life is not her ministry (by “ministry,” I mean, “her passionate area of specialization”). She declines participation in this arena and blesses others who do specialize in this type of work.

She does not judge others for seeking their individual paths, leading to their own unique journeys, fully supports them on their way, and does not impose her personal stance on romantic love on anyone else.

This is a deeply personal work she has accomplished on her own which has led to a full life or happiness, abundance, and unconditional love.

So, I stand corrected.

In my attempt to understand her from her own perspective, I mistakenly applied a general filter based on my experience in working with singles and couples who are struggling with the idea of love in their lives. And I was wrong.

This extraordinary woman took massive action to protect herself from abuse, which any one of us would have encouraged her to do, to stop the abuse, to find a safe place to do the deep work, and heal traumatic wounds of the past.

She has done the work, the hard work, and continues to do the deep work, in a safe environment filled with love. There is no lack of love here.

She remains a light in the darkness for so many.

Maybe she is an angel, for angels are love and have no need or inclination for romantic love.

God bless her for all she brings to this world.

Because of her, so many of us are blessed.

When Someone Calls You a Liar

What can you do when someone calls you a liar? That’s a tough question and one of the most difficult situations between two people. You have told the truth, whoever you’ve told it to doesn’t believe you, and to make matter worse, you’ve been called a liar.

If you are telling the truth, what else can you do?

You are never obligated to defend yourself against someone who accuses you of being dishonest when you have stated the truth. Trying to defend yourself, or prove what you are saying can make matters even worse.

If someone believes you are lying, nothing you do can help sway their mind, or what they think about your ability to be honest in most cases and standing up for yourself can make matters worse as the person who thinks you are lying will think your insistence “proves” (in their mind that you are lying.

When you tell the truth, it reflects upon your integrity. We all have different levels of integrity, but regardless when you’ve told the truth, and you know in good conscious that you have told the truth, you need to just speak your truth and let it be.

It is not up to you to convince anyone that they are wrong about you.

You never know what’s going on inside someone else’s head. They might not trust you for any of a million reasons and their lack of trust in your ability, to tell the truth, tells you more about them than it does about you.

They can falsely accuse you of a great many things and call you names which can cut you like a knife in an attempt to get you to crack open. While this does not feel good, and can make you feel awful, you may feel like changing your story just to stop their crazy and abusive behavior, then where are you?

You might think it’s no big deal, so you change your story to accommodate their insistence that you are not trustworthy. You just want to be accepted. While this may stop the onslaught of abusive interrogation, this person will never trust you again.

It is quite a conundrum, but you are not responsible for what someone else thinks about you.

Unfortunately, this can escalate to unreasonable proportions. Our society has a corrupt legal system, that while it is imperfect, it’s the best we have at this time in the world, and for the most part (even if the most part is only represented by 51 percent of the time) it is mostly effective, even if sometimes it is absolutely wrong and unjust.

Some people, empowered by this system and know how to manipulate it, can cause a great deal of pain and suffering to those whoever they desire. These people can be motivated by a sense of self-righteousness, revenge, haunted by their own inner demons, or to exert superiority over someone else.

The best you can do is to speak your truth and let it be. Love the person who accuses you and walk away if you can, knowing you did the best you could. Do not engage in an argument, because as you may already know, some people will persist in beating you into submission, and for what?

Because they are so embroiled in their position that they might do anything to prove you wrong?

This is an argument or battle you may never be able to win.

Unfortunately. people lie all the time. And once you’ve been lied to, it’s hard to trust again, especially if you do not have the power of love to fall back on, and the realization that everyone is entitled to live their lives in the best way they can with the tools they have available to them at any moment.

Wars are fought, and many lives are wasted in fighting over differences in belief. It is your choice to fight, or not.

Interestingly enough, if you can find a way to stay in the vibration of love, and refuse to engage in a defensive position, you will be able to see other options as they are revealed to you.

Even though it may look like you are facing impossible odds, you will be afforded other options, and you will find yourself living a more advanced life of love and honor.

Stay true to you and seek not to force others to see from your point of view, only love.

The world we live in is not perfect, but it’s the best we have. It’s up to us to make the best of it, and find ways to pave a better road for generations that follow.

We can change the world, and it will evolve into a better world, if we only love, for love is the most powerful force for good.

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What Are You Going to Do About It?

You gave it your best shot. You had faith, did the work and worked hard at it. You courageously supported, promoted and pushed all your chips onto the table in this deal in an “all or nothing” proclamation of your earnest belief that this was the answer.

Now, you realize – more than ever – sometimes things don’t turn out like you had planned.

You are mad, your feelings have been hurt, you feel betrayed, embarrassed even victimized.

As others are silently watching you, they are waiting to see how you are going to respond to this situation. After an uncomfortable state of shock, you react. Onlookers are taking note of the words that escape you mouth (or fingertips) in this moment.

Some people may unjustly mock, attack or ridicule you based on those first words acknowledging your pain or disapproval of seeing your hopes and dreams demolished. It is a brutal world, full of self-centered cynics who could care less about your emotional state in this tender moment, when you feel as though your world – undoubtedly the one that you so believed in – has crumbled to dust.

Inside each tragedy of life, there lies a hidden treasure chest. Only you have the key to see what’s inside. It’s in times, like these, that we can be empowered for massive growth and change.

there-is-treasure-in-your-tragedy-only-you-have-the-key-david-m-masters — There is treasure in your tragedy only you have the key

When I look back on my own setbacks, like the loss of a marriage and family, betrayal of family or friends whom I trusted, investments that evaporated or the loss of a son in a battle while he was serving offshore in Afghanistan, all of it – no matter how ultimately tragic it was at the moment – was an opportunity for me to grow and live a better life.

Many of us have suffered though what appeared to be insurmountable obstacles. Even though we may have felt as though life was so awful, we were able to push through and enjoy what life was holding for us on the other side.

So, after you’ve gained your balance, it comes down to this:

What Are You Going to Do About It?

This is where the rubber meets the road, or as my grandfather would say, it’s what “separates the men from the boys.”

Maybe you’ve expressed your feelings about your loss shouting from the rooftops, or you may have held your shattered dreams close to the vest, either way, following the realization that things didn’t turn out like you had hoped,

What are you going to do about it?

You could do nothing. You could play the role of the victim, or you could take action, determined to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

This is when you come face-to-face to the person you were meant to be. You can turn these inner feelings – that could ultimately destroy a normal person – into the fuel necessary to launch your new life or change the world in a major (or even some small) way.

You could talk about it, or you could rise up and take action. In times like these, you give birth or bolster the leader or warrior within.

Start evaluating your life. Look around and see who truly has your best interests at heart. Do some social housecleaning. Maybe it’s time for a change, possibly massive change of career, or location.

Is it time to leverage your skills, to assemble a team or mobilize a movement?

Once you’ve taken action, you realize what a powerful force for good you can be. Go forth in love, with understanding and benevolence, without judgment or disrespect and make the world a better place.