Tag: inner strength

If the Psychopath Still Obsesses Over You Who Has the Power?

There was a season in my life where I worked closely with individuals who had been deeply entangled with psychopathic personalities. Not casual conflict, not difficult relationships, but true predatory dynamics. The kind that leaves people questioning their reality, their worth, and sometimes even their will to continue.

I stepped into that work willingly. And as anyone who has done this kind of work knows, when you help someone out of a predator’s grip… You don’t go unnoticed.

For years, I found myself on the receiving end of what I can only describe as backlash. Attempts at intimidation. Subtle harassment. Disruption tactics. The kinds of things that are designed not necessarily to destroy you outright, but to wear you down, destabilize you, and make you question whether it’s worth continuing.

It never bothered me the way they intended.

Even now, from time to time, there are remnants of that past—digital noise, odd communications, attempts to provoke or disrupt. And the interesting thing is… I don’t experience it as a threat.

I experience it as confirmation. Confirmation that the work mattered, that people were helped, and something meaningful was empowered to flourish. And in a strange way… it’s almost entertaining.

Not because I take pleasure in conflict, but because I recognize the pattern so clearly. When you understand the game at that level, it loses its power over you. You’re no longer reacting. You’re observing. And observation, without emotional entanglement, is freedom.

From Engagement to Elevation

There’s an important distinction that doesn’t get talked about enough.

Most people who escape these dynamics still remain psychologically tethered to them. They may be physically free, but mentally, emotionally, and energetically… they’re still in the orbit.

That’s not freedom. That’s distance.

True freedom is when the entire dynamic no longer defines you at all. And that’s where my work has evolved.

I don’t spend much time in that space anymore, not because it wasn’t important, but because it was a chapter. A necessary one. A meaningful one. But not where I live now.

When you raise your frequency, your focus, your purpose, your identity—the things that once demanded your attention simply… fall away.

Or, if they show up, they show up differently. Not as threats. Not as stress. But as echoes of a past you’ve already outgrown.

So… Who Has the Power?

This is where many people get tripped up. When someone continues to watch you, react to you, attempt to provoke you, even years later, it can feel like they still hold some kind of power. But look closer.

Who is still investing energy? Who is still watching, reacting, attempting?

And who has moved on?

Power isn’t about control. Power is about independence. Power is about not needing to engage at all.

So the real question isn’t “who owns who?”

The real question is:

Who is still playing the game… and who has already walked away from it?

For Those Still in It

If you’re currently dealing with a psychopathic dynamic, whether you’re just waking up to it or trying to find your way out, know this:

There is a path forward. There is a way to regain clarity. To rebuild your sense of self. To step out of confusion and into grounded awareness.

How to Deal with a Psychopath

That’s the work I was deeply involved in for many years, and it’s what led me to write How to Deal with a Psychopath and Psychopath Victims Toolkit.

Psychopath Victims Toolkit

Those resources were created to help people recognize the patterns, stabilize themselves, and begin reclaiming their autonomy. Now and then, someone will suggest that my work on psychopathy isn’t academic enough. That’s fair, from a certain perspective. But that’s not the work I’ve been called to do. I’m not here to study or elevate psychopathy. I’m here to help those who’ve had to live in its presence find their footing again.

And for counselors, therapists, and practitioners who feel called to support others in this area, I’ve also developed training programs that integrate these tools into a professional setting, so you’re not just reacting to these cases, but truly equipped to guide someone through them.

~ – ~

There’s a stage where you fight to get free. There’s a stage where you defend your ground. And then… there’s a stage where none of it reaches you anymore. Not because the world changed. But because you did. And once you reach that place… You don’t need to win. You don’t need to prove anything.

You don’t need to own anyone. You’re simply no longer available to be played with. And that… is real power.

 

When Everything Gets Harder, You’re Closer Than You Think

There is a moment in every meaningful life when it all feels like too much. Not just busy. Not just hard. But heavy in a way that sits in your chest and follows you into sleep. The kind of tired that doesn’t go away with rest. The kind of confusion where you’re not even sure what question to ask anymore. You’re carrying pressure, responsibility, disappointment, maybe grief, maybe betrayal, maybe fear about the future, and you’re quietly wondering if you can take one more step without something inside you giving out.

And if you’re anything like most people, you’re probably telling yourself that this means you’re failing. That you’ve reached your limit. That something has gone wrong. That you should be stronger, clearer, more resilient than this. But I want you to hear this clearly, because it matters more than you realize: this moment is not evidence that you are breaking. It is evidence that you are crossing something. You are standing at a threshold, an invisible line between who you have been and who you are becoming, and thresholds always feel disorienting before they feel empowering.

Here’s the part most people never get told. Right before anything expands, it compresses. It’s true everywhere in nature. Seeds split before they grow. Muscles tear before they strengthen. Carbon only becomes a diamond under pressure that feels unbearable. Human beings are no different. When your life starts to feel tight, chaotic, overwhelming, when things that used to work suddenly don’t, it’s often because the container you’ve been living in can no longer hold who you’re becoming.

And no, that doesn’t make the pain imaginary. It doesn’t mean you’re supposed to “think positive” or push through. It means there’s a reason the pressure has intensified, and it isn’t random.

There are forces in this world that don’t benefit from fully awake, self-directed, purpose-driven people. They don’t show up as villains. They don’t announce themselves. They don’t kick down your door. They whisper. They normalize exhaustion. They reward conformity. They call mediocrity “being realistic.” They label vision as arrogance and growth as selfishness. They operate through constant distraction, endless noise, information without wisdom, fear dressed up as responsibility, and social pressure to fit in instead of stand out.

And perhaps most effectively, they train you to turn against yourself. To second-guess your instincts. To water down your ideas. To apologize for wanting more. To keep your dreams reasonable, manageable, and non-threatening. Not because you’re weak, but because fully developed human potential is inconvenient to systems that rely on predictability and compliance.

So when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally depleted, disoriented, questioning your own strength, don’t immediately assume life is punishing you. Sometimes life is pressing on you because the old way of being no longer fits, and staying small is no longer an option.

If you’ve noticed that everything seems to be hitting at once, career instability, health challenges, relationship fractures, the loss of someone who anchored your old life, an intolerance for environments or people you once endured, and that’s not a coincidence. It’s often a signal that you’ve reached a non-negotiable turning point. Your old life cannot continue as it was, and your new life has not fully formed yet. That in-between space is uncomfortable by design. It strips away false certainty. It removes coping mechanisms that once worked. It forces honesty.

And right about here, resistance shows up. Not always as an external obstacle, but as a voice inside your head that suddenly gets louder. “Who do you think you are?” “Maybe now isn’t the right time.” “Other people have it worse.” “Just be grateful and stop pushing.” That voice sounds reasonable. Responsible, even. But that voice is not intuition. It’s conditioning. And its timing is revealing.

Pressure doesn’t intensify when you’re stagnant. It intensifies when you’re about to outgrow the structure you’ve been living inside. A person who thinks independently, questions authority, creates value instead of just consuming it, and lifts others simply by being who they are, that kind of person doesn’t fit neatly into systems built to manage and pacify. So the pressure increases right when your inner capacity is expanding, not to stop you, but to see whether you’ll collapse back into familiarity or cross forward into something truer.

Pay attention to when you feel like quitting. It’s rarely at the beginning, and it’s rarely when something is clearly impossible. It shows up when you’re close. When you’ve grown. When you can feel change approaching. When the old version of you can’t carry what the new version requires. That tension is not punishment. It’s an invitation. An invitation to let go of outdated identities, to stop shrinking in order to survive, to stop apologizing for your potential.

The world doesn’t need another exhausted conformist. It needs you fully expressed.

And here’s something else most people don’t like to admit: mediocrity isn’t always accidental. A world filled with conscious, self-directed, purpose-driven humans would buy less junk to numb themselves, tolerate lies less comfortably, accept abuse less readily, and demand integrity more consistently. So sometimes the goal isn’t to crush you. Sometimes it’s just to tire you out. To keep you busy but not fulfilled. Informed but not wise. Safe, but not fully alive.

When you approach a threshold like this, life itself joins in. It starts testing congruence. Are you living aligned with who you’re becoming? Are you willing to let go of what no longer fits? Can you stay conscious when comfort is removed? So life applies pressure… not to break you, but to reveal what’s no longer stable. That’s why temporary fixes stop working. That’s why distractions lose their power. That’s why doing “just enough” no longer satisfies you.

And this is the moment where most people wait for permission. Someone to tell them what to do. Someone to reassure them that it’s safe. But no one is coming, not because you’re alone, but because this moment belongs to you.

Right here, in the exhaustion, the confusion, the losses, the instability, you’re being offered something rare: a clean break from the life that no longer fits. Not a guarantee. Not a map. Not certainty. A choice.

You stop asking, “How do I get back to the way things were?” and you start asking, “Who am I becoming now that I can’t go back?” That question changes everything. This is where you stop negotiating with mediocrity. Where you stop explaining yourself to people committed to misunderstanding you. Where you stop shrinking your vision to keep fragile systems intact.

You don’t take the step forward because you feel ready. You take it because the cost of staying has become greater than the cost of moving on.

And action here doesn’t look dramatic. It’s quiet. Decisive. It might look like telling the truth you’ve been holding inside. Leaving what drains you even without a perfect plan. Choosing your health, your sanity, or your integrity over approval. Creating something honest instead of safe. Setting a boundary that costs comfort but restores self-respect. Committing to the path that keeps calling you, quietly, persistently, relentlessly.

You don’t fix everything at once. You take one irrevocable step that aligns your outer life with your inner knowing. And once you do, momentum takes over. Energy returns. Clarity sharpens. New allies appear. Not because the world suddenly became easier, but because you became congruent.

The people we remember best didn’t wait for calm. They didn’t wait for consensus. They didn’t wait for perfect timing. They moved when everything told them to stop, not because they were fearless, but because they were done living divided.

And whether you’re ready to hear it or not, this is your moment. Not tomorrow. Not after things settle down. Not when confidence arrives. Now.

Decide that you will not betray yourself to preserve comfort. That you will not return to what collapsed. That you will not apologize for evolving. That you will meet this moment consciously, willingly, and fully present.

You don’t need to see the whole path. Only the step that says, “I choose growth over fear. Truth over conformity. Becoming over belonging.”

That decision changes everything.

The threshold isn’t behind you. It’s beneath your feet. And the moment you step forward, life meets you there.

Take the step.

 

The Fall, the Lifeline, and the Climb Back Up

There has just been an explosive expansion of energy. You felt it. Some people were already leaning in the right direction when it happened, and they were lifted. Effortlessly. Doors opened. Clarity arrived. Momentum showed up as if it had been waiting for permission. Others were leaning the other way, and when the surge came, it didn’t lift them; it dropped them.

If that’s you, all is not lost. You are not broken. You are not being punished, and you are not falling forever. It only feels endless when you’re in freefall.

I know this terrain well. I’ve watched people fall. I’ve fallen myself, and yes, there is a bottom, but I don’t recommend reaching it. What I can offer you right now is not a rescue helicopter, but it is a lifeline.

Grabbing it will not feel gentle. It will jolt you. It may even hurt your hands for a moment, but it will stop the fall.

If you take hold, and keep holding, you can begin to climb. Not all the way out yet. Just far enough to reach the bottom rung of a ladder.

Seven days.

That’s all we’re aiming for right now.

The 7-Day Recovery Process

A once-a-day, consecutive, sequential reset

This is not about fixing your whole life. This is about interrupting your energetic descent and reversing direction.

One action per day. No skipping or doubling up, and no perfection required. Just honesty and follow-through.

Day 1 — Stop the Bleeding

Objective: Halt energetic loss.

Today is not about improvement. It’s about containment.

For 24 hours:

      • Stop consuming anything that leaves you feeling weaker afterward (news, doom scrolling, toxic conversations).
      • Say no to at least one thing you normally tolerate.
      • Write one sentence:
        “The fall stops here.”

This is you grabbing the rope.

Day 2 — Reclaim the Body

Objective: Ground yourself back into physical reality.

Energy cannot stabilize in a neglected body.

Today:

      • Drink clean water intentionally.
      • Eat one simple, real meal.
      • Take a slow walk—even 10 minutes counts.

Say out loud:
“I am back in my body.”

This creates friction against the fall.

Day 3 — Tell the Truth (Privately)

Objective: End self-deception.

You don’t need to confess to the world.
You do need to stop lying to yourself.

Write answers to these questions—no editing:

      • What am I pretending isn’t happening?
      • What am I avoiding because it feels overwhelming?
      • What do I know, deep down, that I’ve been ignoring?

Truth is a handhold. Without it, there is nothing to climb.

Day 4 — Clean One Small Area

Objective: Restore order somewhere—anywhere.

Chaos feeds the fall. Order creates lift.

Today:

      • Clean one drawer, one corner, one surface.
      • Do not aim for impressive—aim for finished.

When you’re done, pause and notice: This is what upward motion feels like.

Day 5 — Reconnect to Meaning

Objective: Remember why you matter.

Answer this question in writing:

      • If I were stable again, who or what would benefit from my presence?

You are not here by accident.
Your value did not disappear because you fell.

Meaning is the ladder itself.

Day 6 — Take One Brave Action

Objective: Re-establish agency.

One action you’ve been avoiding:

      • Make the call.
      • Send the message.
      • Set the boundary.
      • Ask for help.

Do it imperfectly. Fear means you’re facing upward.

Day 7 — Choose Direction

Objective: Lock in reversal.

Today you decide—not emotionally, but deliberately:

      • What direction am I moving now?
      • What one daily practice will keep me climbing?

Write it.
Commit to it for the next 7 days.

This is the bottom rung of the ladder.

You Can Do This

If you’re reading this while falling, know this:

You don’t climb out of a hole by panicking.
You climb out by changing direction.

This process will not make everything better in a week. It will do something far more important.

It will stop the fall, give you leverage, and remind you that you still have choice. And once you’re on the ladder…

Up is up. Progress compounds, and momentum returns.

The lifeline is here. The climb is possible, and your story is not over.

 

Love Is Not Weakness – Why Real Love Requires Strength

Somewhere along the way, love got mislabeled. Not suddenly or maliciously. Just gradually, until love was no longer seen as strong, but soft… no longer intelligent, but sentimental… no longer courageous, but passive. And that misunderstanding has cost us more than we realize.

Love is not weakness, and it never was. What is weak is the version of love many of us were taught to perform, the kind that avoids truth, tolerates harm, and sacrifices self-respect just to keep the peace. That isn’t love. That’s fear, dressed up as virtue.

Why Love Is Often Mistaken for Weakness

For many people, love became confused with being agreeable. Staying quiet, enduring too much, giving endlessly, even when wisdom was already whispering, “This isn’t healthy anymore.” But love has never required self-erasure.

Real love doesn’t ask you to shrink, betray yourself, or abandon your values. It doesn’t demand silence while your spirit erodes. When love looks like disappearance, what’s actually happening is survival; not wisdom. And survival strategies, while understandable, are not the same thing as truth.

Real Love Is Strength Under Control

When you strip away the confusion, something important becomes clear: Love is not fragile. Love is strong. In fact, real love is strength under control.

It takes strength to tell the truth without attacking. Strength to hold a boundary without slamming a door, the strength to walk away without bitterness, and to stay without resentment.

Love doesn’t beg. Love doesn’t manipulate. Love does not guilt or coerce.

Love stands. And because it stands, it can feel threatening to systems built on fear, control, or compliance. That’s one reason love has so often been rebranded as weakness, because calling it weak makes it easier to dismiss, exploit, or override.

Love Requires Courage, Not Avoidance

Avoidance is easy. Numbing is easy. Shutting down is easy. Going along to get along is easy.

Love is not.

Love requires presence, and presence requires courage.

Every meaningful act of love asks something of us. It asks us to stay awake when it would be easier to check out. To remain open without being naive. To forgive without forgetting, and protect what matters without becoming hard.

There is nothing weak about that.

What Happens When Love Loses Its Strength

When love is misunderstood, people learn the wrong lessons.

They learn to:

      • Overgive until they are depleted
      • Confuse endurance with virtue
      • Call self-betrayal kindness
      • Call silence peace

Eventually, they burn out; not because they loved too much, but because they were never taught how to love wisely.

Love without strength collapses. Strength without love hardens. But love with strength? That’s where healing lives.

Love as a Stabilizing Force in a Chaotic World

Strong love doesn’t escalate. Strong love doesn’t need to win, and doesn’t require an audience.

Strong love listens without surrendering discernment. Strong love sees clearly without condemning, and acts deliberately rather than reactively.

This is why love changes rooms. Why it disarms aggression, restores dignity, and endures long after louder forces burn themselves out.

Not because love is soft, but because love is grounded.

What Loving with Strength Looks Like in Real Life

When love is rooted in strength, it shows up practically:

      • You can say no without guilt
      • You can disagree without contempt
      • You can care deeply without carrying what isn’t yours
      • You can leave without hatred
      • You can stay without losing yourself

You stop confusing being liked with being loving, and stop confusing being needed with being valued.

Your love develops a spine.

Why This Love Elevation Can’t Wait

The world doesn’t need weaker people trying harder to be nice. It needs grounded people who can love without fear. People who can hold truth and compassion in the same breath. People who don’t collapse under pressure, or harden under disappointment.

Love is not weakness. Love is not passivity or submission.

Love is clarity. Love is courage and strength—fully awake.

And when you live from that place, you don’t just change your relationships. You change the world around you.

That’s the kind of love this world has always needed.

Strong Not Broken

I had a client with whom I was working who had intimated to me her traumatic past relationships with men which led her to the conclusion that she no longer desired to expose her heart to another man, and she made a vow never to do so again.

I assumed this might put her at a disadvantage when it came to having love in her life, and I suggested that she might reconsider her position because this might be blocking other areas of her life as well, especially because we’re talking about “love,” which she agreed was the most powerful force in (and/or beyond) the universe. It is the key which unlocks all doors which stand between us and the desires of our heart.

She was quick to correct me. She had filled her life with so much love, loving deeply family, her community, others who had little or no love in their lives, animals, nature, all living things, and those beyond. Her life was not one of brokenness but one of love, an enthusiastic abundance of love.

She admitted she had been broken by the men she had allowed herself to be victimized by, those who disrespected her, abused, and terrorized her, but when she decided to deny them access to that most vulnerable organ inside her, it was not out of fear, or fueled by pain from the past.

It was the most powerful decision she had ever made in strength and honor which enabled her to freely open herself in unconditional love in all other areas of her life. Since making this decision, she has been able to interact and work with men in her field, and throughout all other areas of life, without the threat of being vulnerable, hurt, disrespected, or loved by them.

She could powerfully interact with them intimately, for a limited amount of time, without risk of developing a deeper connection, for she did enjoy having them in and around her life, but not allowing them access to her heart.

She had built a stronghold, a mighty fortress, not around her heart, but only around that area which focused only on men, and who could blame her if you’d had the opportunity to learn the depths of darkness, she had endured while her heart was held captive by a succession of abusive monsters.

This fortress was not built in weakness or fear. This fortress was built in love. Pure love, which enabled her to freely love everything that is, protecting her and allowing her to live other days, one after the other, in love.

It has been many years of her living this life of love, without a thought of exposing herself to the idea of romance and she continues to live a happy life, full of love, without regret. She never has the thought of what it might be to have romantic love in her life.

And when she sees someone, a couple who appears to be enthusiastically in the throes of love, she blesses them, wishing for them all the love which they seek to find in each other, without imposing her views upon them. She loves them, the idea of love, and sends them some of her love in hopes that it will help them have all the best things in life together, and that their love will overflow to others.

There is no doubt, this woman is living a life of love. “Romantic love” in her life is not her ministry (by “ministry,” I mean, “her passionate area of specialization”). She declines participation in this arena and blesses others who do specialize in this type of work.

She does not judge others for seeking their individual paths, leading to their own unique journeys, fully supports them on their way, and does not impose her personal stance on romantic love on anyone else.

This is a deeply personal work she has accomplished on her own which has led to a full life or happiness, abundance, and unconditional love.

So, I stand corrected.

In my attempt to understand her from her own perspective, I mistakenly applied a general filter based on my experience in working with singles and couples who are struggling with the idea of love in their lives. And I was wrong.

This extraordinary woman took massive action to protect herself from abuse, which any one of us would have encouraged her to do, to stop the abuse, to find a safe place to do the deep work, and heal traumatic wounds of the past.

She has done the work, the hard work, and continues to do the deep work, in a safe environment filled with love. There is no lack of love here.

She remains a light in the darkness for so many.

Maybe she is an angel, for angels are love and have no need or inclination for romantic love.

God bless her for all she brings to this world.

Because of her, so many of us are blessed.

When Someone Calls You a Liar

What can you do when someone calls you a liar? That’s a tough question and one of the most difficult situations between two people. You have told the truth, whoever you’ve told it to doesn’t believe you, and to make matters worse, you’ve been called a liar.

Few situations are more painful than being called a liar, especially when you know you’ve told the truth. It can feel like an attack on your character, a dismissal of your integrity, and a deeply personal betrayal. But what can you do when someone refuses to believe you? How do you handle such a difficult and emotionally charged encounter?

Stand Firm in Your Truth

The most important thing to remember is this: if you’ve told the truth, you’ve done your part. You are not obligated to defend yourself to someone who doubts your honesty. In fact, trying to prove your truthfulness often makes matters worse.

When someone believes you are lying, no amount of evidence or insistence can change their mind. Their mistrust likely stems from their own experiences, insecurities, or biases—things beyond your control. Arguing or pleading only gives them more reason (in their mind) to doubt you. Sometimes, your attempts to stand up for yourself are twisted into “proof” of dishonesty.

Instead of engaging in a futile battle, speak your truth clearly and calmly, and then let it be. Trust that your integrity speaks for itself, regardless of whether others recognize it.

Their Doubts Are Not About You

It’s vital to understand that someone’s mistrust often says more about them than it does about you. People carry their own histories, fears, and unresolved issues, which can cloud their ability to trust. If someone falsely accuses you of lying, it may be less about your actions and more about their inner struggles.

While their words can hurt—sometimes deeply—you don’t have to internalize their accusations. Their inability to trust is not your responsibility to fix, nor should it dictate your actions.

The Danger of Changing Your Truth

In the face of persistent accusations, you may feel tempted to alter your story just to stop the abuse. After all, what harm could it do to give in? Surely, it’s better than enduring their relentless interrogation. But changing your truth for the sake of appeasement comes at a great cost.

When you bend to someone’s insistence that you are dishonest, you sacrifice a piece of your integrity. Worse, the person will never truly trust you. By confirming their false belief, you reinforce their mistrust, perpetuating a cycle that could haunt your relationship indefinitely.

Stay true to your word. Even when it feels easier to compromise, know that standing firm in your truth protects your integrity and honors your authentic self.

When Accusations Escalate

Unfortunately, some accusations can spiral out of control. Our society, while structured around systems of justice, is far from perfect. Legal systems can be manipulated by those who know how to wield them for personal gain or vengeance. Such individuals may be driven by a sense of self-righteousness, unresolved inner turmoil, or the desire to dominate others.

If you find yourself facing unjust accusations in such circumstances, it’s critical to stay grounded. Speak your truth, but recognize that the battle may not be winnable through force or argument. Sometimes, the best course of action is to step away, protect your energy, and focus on living your truth with dignity.

Choosing Love Over Conflict

When faced with conflict, you always have a choice: to fight or to rise above. Many battles—especially those rooted in personal differences or misunderstandings—aren’t worth the toll they take on your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Interestingly, when you refuse to engage defensively and instead remain in the vibration of love, new paths often reveal themselves. Staying calm, centered, and open to love allows you to see solutions that might otherwise remain hidden in the heat of the moment.

This approach doesn’t mean you condone harmful behavior or accept injustice. It means you prioritize your peace and integrity over the need to prove someone else wrong. You transcend the conflict and move toward a higher state of being—one defined by love, honor, and authenticity.

A Larger Perspective

The pain of being falsely accused is not unique to you; it’s part of the human experience. Wars have been fought, relationships shattered, and lives wasted over differences in belief and perception. But these conflicts only persist when people choose to fight instead of seeking understanding and love.

If we, as individuals, can commit to living in love and truth, we have the power to change the world. Even in its imperfections, this world offers us an opportunity to grow, evolve, and pave the way for future generations. Every act of love, no matter how small, contributes to a better, more compassionate world.

The Power of Love

In the face of doubt, accusations, or conflict, choose love. Love for yourself, love for others—even those who accuse you—and love for the truth that lives within you.

Stay true to your word and your integrity. Let go of the need to be understood or validated by those who doubt you. Trust that your truth will stand on its own, and let love guide your actions.

The world may not be perfect, but love is the most powerful force for good. By choosing love over conflict, you not only honor yourself but also contribute to the healing and evolution of humanity.

 

What Are You Going to Do About It?

You gave it your best shot. You had faith, did the work and worked hard at it. You courageously supported, promoted and pushed all your chips onto the table in this deal in an “all or nothing” proclamation of your earnest belief that this was the answer.

Now, you realize – more than ever – sometimes things don’t turn out like you had planned.

when-things-dont-go-your-way-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it

You are mad, your feelings have been hurt, you feel betrayed, embarrassed even victimized.

As others are silently watching you, they are waiting to see how you are going to respond to this situation. After an uncomfortable state of shock, you react. Onlookers are taking note of the words that escape you mouth (or fingertips) in this moment.

Some people may unjustly mock, attack or ridicule you based on those first words acknowledging your pain or disapproval of seeing your hopes and dreams demolished. It is a brutal world, full of self-centered cynics who could care less about your emotional state in this tender moment, when you feel as though your world – undoubtedly the one that you so believed in – has crumbled to dust.

Inside each tragedy of life, there lies a hidden treasure chest. Only you have the key to see what’s inside. It’s in times, like these, that we can be empowered for massive growth and change.

there-is-treasure-in-your-tragedy-only-you-have-the-key-david-m-masters
There is treasure in your tragedy only you have the key

When I look back on my own setbacks, like the loss of a marriage and family, betrayal of family or friends whom I trusted, investments that evaporated or the loss of a son in a battle while he was serving offshore in Afghanistan, all of it – no matter how ultimately tragic it was at the moment – was an opportunity for me to grow and live a better life.

Many of us have suffered though what appeared to be insurmountable obstacles. Even though we may have felt as though life was so awful, we were able to push through and enjoy what life was holding for us on the other side.

So, after you’ve gained your balance, it comes down to this:

What Are You Going to Do About It?

This is where the rubber meets the road, or as my grandfather would say, it’s what “separates the men from the boys.”

Maybe you’ve expressed your feelings about your loss shouting from the rooftops, or you may have held your shattered dreams close to the vest, either way, following the realization that things didn’t turn out like you had hoped,

What are you going to do about it?

You could do nothing. You could play the role of the victim, or you could take action, determined to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

This is when you come face-to-face to the person you were meant to be. You can turn these inner feelings – that could ultimately destroy a normal person – into the fuel necessary to launch your new life or change the world in a major (or even some small) way.

You could talk about it, or you could rise up and take action. In times like these, you give birth or bolster the leader or warrior within.

Start evaluating your life. Look around and see who truly has your best interests at heart. Do some social housecleaning. Maybe it’s time for a change, possibly massive change of career, or location.

Is it time to leverage your skills, to assemble a team or mobilize a movement?

Once you’ve taken action, you realize what a powerful force for good you can be. Go forth in love, with understanding and benevolence, without judgment or disrespect and make the world a better place.

This is your moment.

This is your time.

It has all come down to this,

What will you do about it?