love and relationships | David M Masters

Broken Picker? Understanding Love Trust & Romantic Predators

So many times, I find myself sitting across from someone who shakes their head and says, “Whoa, did I pick a doozy this time,” right before they dive into some unbelievable love story turned nightmare. They always finish with that familiar line: “I think my picker is broken.”

And you know what? If you look at the pattern of their past relationships, most anyone might agree. It sure looks like a history of picking the wrong people. But here’s the kicker, it may not be that their picker is broken at all. It may simply be a case of premature mate selection. Or maybe, it’s a little deeper than that.

Because let’s be honest: the landscape of love is rarely as simple as one person being wrong and the other being right. There are always two players on the stage of romance, you, and the person you’re letting into your heart. And you, as a seeker of truth in love, are often operating with incomplete information.

No matter how intuitive you think you are (and you might be incredibly perceptive in most areas of your life), your internal guidance system gets wobbly when the scent of true love is in the air. And the subversive romantic predator? They’re counting on that. They’re banking on the fact that your heart will override your head.

Are They All Out to Get You?

No. Not everyone is a predator. But some are. And they have every right to look for what they want in a partner, just like you do. That doesn’t make them evil. It makes them human. But it also means you have to be smart.

Take a moment to reflect on how we all size up potential mates:

Modern Screening Questions	Hidden Primal Motivation
Where do you work?	Can you provide for me?
What kind of car do you drive?	Do you have status or style?
Do you have a college degree?	Are you intelligent or successful?
Do you want kids? / Have kids?	Will you support or burden me?
Do you own a home?	Are you stable?
Do you pay child support?	Are you carrying baggage?
What medications are you on?	Will I have to care for you?
Do you have a retirement plan?	Are you future-focused?

And here’s the thing: all these questions might seem logical and “responsible” on the surface. But matching up on these checkboxes does not guarantee long-term compatibility or emotional depth. Cave people probably had their own primitive version of this vetting process, and just like then, it’s not always accurate.

Being a solid provider or good on paper is not the same as being a good partner in the long haul. A lasting, soul-connected relationship needs more than surface-level alignment. It needs emotional transparency, shared values, and truth.

And yet, here’s the problem: you can’t actually know what’s going on inside another person’s head. That’s the blind spot. And unfortunately, it’s where romantic predators love to play.

Top 10 Hidden Romantic Motivations

Let’s go behind the scenes. Here are the top 10 hidden romantic motivations that have been uncovered in the safety of my office during counseling sessions:

1. “I need a break from my current life.”
2. “I want some sex.”
3. “I need someone to vacation with.”
4. “I need a place to live.”
5. “They have good credit.”
6. “I just want to feel loved for a while.”
7. “Their reputation can open doors for me.”
8. “They have resources or connections I want.”
9. “If I promise enough, I can get what I want.”
10. “Someone hurt me, and I feel better hurting someone else.”

These are not just hypotheticals. These are real thoughts from real people who entered relationships under false or self-serving pretenses.

Are these evil thoughts? Not necessarily. But they’re not the kind of authentic, love-based intentions you’re probably looking for. And if you’re not aware of them, or worse, if you assume everyone is being honest just because you are, you set yourself up to get played.

Maybe Your Picker Isn’t Broken After All…

If you’ve been burned in love and found yourself attracting the wrong people over and over again, let me be the first to tell you: you may not be broken. In fact, you may be incredibly trusting. You may have a heart so open and pure that it attracts people in need… or opportunists who know how to exploit that.

That’s why it’s time to stop beating yourself up, and start installing security protocols that protect your loving heart from emotional manipulation and deceit.

How to Protect Yourself from Romantic Predators

Here are a few tips to keep your heart open without being a victim:

1. Don’t Overshare Too Soon

The more personal information you give away in the early stages, the easier it is for a predator to mirror your desires. Practice some restraint, even if it feels thrilling.

1. Watch What They Do, Not Just What They Say

Words are cheap. Pay attention to patterns, not promises. How do they act when no one is watching? How do they treat others?

1. Ask Unexpected Questions

Throw in a few off-script questions to see if they’re being real. Ask about childhood dreams, spiritual beliefs, or how they handle failure. Surface predators don’t prep for those.

1. Know Your Hidden Motives

Get brutally honest with yourself about what you’re secretly hoping to gain. Healing from loneliness? Escaping something? Needing approval? Don’t hide from yourself.

1. Set Boundaries Early

Be clear about your non-negotiables. You’re not being difficult, you’re protecting your soul. And predators hate boundaries, they’ll reveal themselves when pushed.

1. Invite a Trusted Friend’s Perspective

Sometimes, love blinds us. Bring in someone you trust to meet this person and get their read. They may notice red flags you’re missing.

1. Don’t Ignore Your Gut

Even if it whispers. Even if it’s inconvenient. If something feels off, it probably is.

You are not broken. But you do need to upgrade your discernment.
Because your heart is valuable. Your love is precious. And if someone wants a seat at your table, they need to earn it, not just charm their way in.

It’s okay to be hopeful. It’s okay to want love.
But as you seek that divine connection, let wisdom walk beside your heart.
And remember: you’re not here to be used, you’re here to be loved.

Stay true to your heart but bring your higher mind along for the ride.

~ David M. Masters

Fly on the Wall: Anna, a Sensitive Recluse, Waiting for Love

Join me as a fly on the wall as Anna shares her story about her struggle with being sensitive and somewhat content with her reclusive post-pandemic lifestyle while desiring to find love. If you have input or suggestions for her, please leave them in the comments below.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately… about love and the whole idea of a soulmate. I believe in it, but it just feels impossible right now. Before COVID, I used to go out to bars, restaurants, and events. Nothing crazy, but enough to feel like I was part of the world. Then lockdown happened, and I just… I guess I got used to being alone. Now, everything is open again, but when I go out, I feel out of place. Like I don’t belong there anymore.”

“That’s completely understandable. The pandemic changed how many of us engage with the world. And for introverts, that shift can feel even more dramatic. You’ve mentioned that you enjoy your own company, and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s important to honor that. But you also feel like something is missing—like you want love, but you’re not sure how to find it.”

“Exactly. I’m comfortable being alone, maybe too comfortable as a recluse. There’s no drama or complications. But at the same time, I know I’m not going to meet anyone just sitting at home, journaling, and writing love letters to a soulmate who feels like a dream.”

“It sounds like you’re in a delicate balance; you cherish your solitude but long for connection. There’s no need to force yourself into environments that don’t feel right, like noisy bars or clubs. Those places don’t seem to reflect the kind of connection you’re looking for.”

“That’s true. Most of the men I’ve seen in those places are just not my type. They’re loud, always drinking, and… I don’t know, it feels shallow. It’s like they’re looking for a good time, not a deep relationship.”

“It makes sense that you’re not drawn to that scene. You’re seeking something deeper, something that resonates with who you are, a connection that goes beyond the surface. Have you considered other ways of meeting people that might align more with your personality and values?”

“I don’t know. I’m not religious, and I’ve had some bad experiences in the past with that. I also don’t have much of a social media presence, so online dating doesn’t really appeal to me either. I’ve been thinking I might be slipping into depression, but then again, I feel mostly content. It’s just… I know that my soulmate isn’t going to find me here.”

“I hear you. It’s a tricky place to be, feeling content in your solitude but also knowing that you want more. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to throw yourself into environments that feel overwhelming or force connections that don’t feel authentic. There are other ways.”

“Like what? I’ve tried a few things, but it always feels like I’m just not fitting in anywhere.”

“Let’s look at some options. You don’t need to change who you are or do things that feel uncomfortable. What if you explored quieter spaces where connection can happen naturally? For example, book clubs, poetry readings, or even nature walks could be great places to meet like-minded people without the pressure of a typical ‘dating’ scene.”

“Hmm, I hadn’t thought about that. I do love reading and writing. A book club could work.”

“And what about engaging in hobbies that foster connection? Writing workshops, art classes, or anything that brings you joy. Those environments allow for more meaningful interactions, and you’re more likely to meet people who share your interests.”

“Yeah, I could see that. It wouldn’t feel as forced as going to a bar or a party.”

“Exactly. Another thing to consider is low-key social events. Farmers’ markets, art exhibits, or community events where the atmosphere is calmer. These can provide opportunities for connection without feeling overwhelming.”

“I like that idea. I guess I’ve been looking in the wrong places.”

“It’s not so much about ‘wrong’ places; it’s more about finding the spaces that align with who you are. And remember, it’s okay to take it slow. You’re not in a rush. Sometimes, the love we seek comes when we’re least expecting it, when we’re engaged in the things that truly make us happy.”

“That’s reassuring. I’ve been feeling like I’m running out of time.”

“Trust the timing of your life, Anna. Your soulmate is out there, and while you may not meet them in the traditional places, that doesn’t mean they aren’t on their way to you. Just keep doing the things that make you feel fulfilled, and be open to new experiences when they feel right. Love has a way of finding us when we’re living authentically.”

“That makes me feel a lot better. I’ll try to put myself out there more, but in ways that feel right for me.”

“That’s the key—stay true to yourself. And don’t be afraid to ask for help along the way. Whether through continued coaching, therapy, or just talking with friends, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.”

Tips for Sensitives Waiting for Love

For other sensitives who resonate with Anna’s story, here are a few tips to help navigate the path toward finding meaningful love:

Honor your sensitive nature. You don’t have to change who you are to find love. Instead of forcing yourself into loud or extroverted environments, seek out places and activities that reflect your true self.

Engage in hobbies that bring you joy, whether writing, art, or nature. Doing things you love brings fulfillment and creates opportunities to meet like-minded people.

Explore quiet social spaces. Consider attending events like book clubs, poetry readings, or small community gatherings where thoughtful conversation is encouraged.

Consider mindful online dating if social media or dating apps don’t appeal to you. Explore platforms that focus on deeper connections rather than casual encounters.

Finding true love is not a race. Release yourself from the pressure of it all. Trust that your soulmate will appear when the time is right, and focus on building a life that makes you happy in the meantime.

Don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Seek support, whether it’s through coaching, therapy, or conversations with friends. The journey to love doesn’t have to be lonely.

Love will find its way to you, often when living in alignment with your true self. Keep your heart open, and let the world surprise you in its own time.

I Tried to Be What You Wanted Me to Be I Just Couldn’t Do It

You’re a love and relationship counselor and it’s obvious that this couple is having challenges. They are clearly not seeing eye to eye and you’re doing what you can to help them communicate more clearly, then she says, “I tried to be what you wanted me to be, I just couldn’t do it.”

This is one of those one-liners that just brings everything to a halt. When one of the partners says, “I tried to be what you wanted me to be, I just couldn’t do it,” this is a clear indication that the partnership is over because it takes two to make a couple. This participant has clearly stopped wanting to be a part of this couple anymore.

Is this an indication that the relationship is over? As a couples’ coach, you probably already know that when one or more of the participants in a relationship say, “It’s over,” or, “I’m done,” hope for a bright future still remains. I mean, they are in your office. Right? What does that tell you? There is work that can be done. Just because they have reached an impasse does not mean that this challenge is fatal.

It helps to know which phase they are in the 7 Phases of Love to help predict how much hope there is for the couple who faces this particular circumstance, where it appears that a great deal of effort was put forth in an attempt to please the other partner, but the this particular partner has reached the conclusion that further work to become the person that the other partner desired was beyond her reach.

I Tried

The insistence that she “tried” indicates that they were probably not that good of a match at the outset of this coupling in the first place.

Blame it on Mother Nature

To her credit, maybe there was a deep attraction to this person, and she did desire to enter into a longstanding love relationship, maybe even to go as far as to commit and marry this person. Often at the beginning of a relationship desire and hormones take over and we find ourselves, victim, to Mother Nature’s love trap. All she (Mother Nature) wants is for matting to ensue because she wants babies.

So, we have this programming that turns off all rationale so that copulation can prevail. Mother Nature really doesn’t care about families, she just wants babies.

This appears to be one of those relationships, where the intimacy shared in those early moments was good enough for this couple to have the hope of a longstanding relationship, so they married (but did not have any babies).

To Be What You Wanted Me to Be

It wasn’t long before the wife discovered that she and her new husband wanted completely different things out of life. She decided, early on, that she would make concessions, compromising her own desires and beliefs, to accommodate his. This was a valiant effort and she was supported in doing so by family and friends.

At first, the concessions, were not that big of a deal, but after time, it began to annoy her, but she persisted, continuing to sacrifice her own wants, needs, and desires for his, for the greater good of the relationship.

I Just Couldn’t Do It

The “I just couldn’t do it,” means that this partner has reverted in some way to her previous self, as she was prior to his relationship, which she feels is not conducive and is not an appropriate state of affairs to sustain any possible future as a couple.

The last time I heard this, unbeknownst to the husband, his wife was a prostitute. Also, not known at the time the statement was made by her, “I tried to be what you wanted me to be, I just couldn’t do it,” she had returned to her previous profession as a full-on sex worker, while he was at work, or when she was away visiting family.

In this circumstance, she was right, and this did lead to the end of the relationship, but that does not always mean that it is “the end.” We all have seen relationships recover from what appeared to be impossible odds.

That’s why we who are in the business proclaim that “Love conquers all.” Even if it means that it rarely conquers because we are mere mortals and unconditional love seems too far off a possibility for most of us, nonetheless, even if in the rarest of circumstances,

Love conquers all.

No Drama Please in Love Relationships

If you have been in a past relationship that had a lot of drama in it, you may have come to a place of unwillingness to accommodate any drama from anyone who may present themselves to you as a potential mate. No one is saying this is a good thing or a bad thing, it just is what it is. This is a form of protection for the sake of self-preservation.

If this applies to your circumstance, at some time in a potential courtship, you may notice one or more apparent inconsistencies which will sound off alarms in your heart and mind. Many a potentially loving relationship was cut short by an early warning detection system raising red flags, which can be found everywhere you look. (This is a natural neurological condition referred to as the reticular activating system or RAS for short.)

If this bit of neural psychology is correct, if you’ve been hurt by someone, you will have reviewed all the little clues that you missed that would have been apparent and available to you consciously had you been more aware or suspicious. In many cases, you miss these signs due to the surge of the hormone Oxytocin which causes rosy retrospection otherwise known as having donned rose-colored glasses.

This is to say, if you are in love, the red flags that may have alerted you to something being amiss were overlooked and misinterpreted as cute inconsistencies or eccentricities or seen as having little meaning or threat.

Upon review following a failed relationship, all these warning signs become painfully apparent which may lead to a condition called pistanthrophobia that presupposes that the victim will be unable to trust anyone who presents him or herself as a potential suitor or suitress.

You want to survive the next relationship, so you’re constantly reviewing the data you’ve processed and measure against your observations of your next potential mate, ever looking for clues that there is trouble amiss.

This is a necessary method of self-preservation. It’s what helps us survive and is a logical way to avoid another bad relationship. The downside? Pistanthrophobia will likely sabotage all potential future relationships, because it can color normal abstract human behavior as threatening red flags. And the mind will go to great lengths to take the reigns of the imagination and build up cases against any potential romantic relationship on the flimsiest nuggets of misinformation.

This will have the unfortunate consequence of assuring failure after failure for romance for the seeker of true and lasting love, as unsubstantiated clues are met with Miss Interpretation leading to Red Flag Obsession.

Sufferers of pistanthrophobia will prematurely end a potential relationship with a positively loving individual who may display a moment of weakness or a slight misstep that sounds emergency alarms all over town in the life of the overly cautious and protective seeker of true and enduring love. The result? The extermination and loss of a true love potential.

What is the answer?

A qualified family therapist or relationship coach can help an earnest seeker of love, dig up the roots of love failures of the past, process the lessons learned, and move on securely in faith, trust, and true love, a love that starts with one’s self, then overflows into the hearts of others.

All those negative experiences?

Successfully harnessed can help lead you into the powerful love relationship you are looking for.

Don’t give up. Get help. Heal. Get strong. Open your heart, and let your love flow.

Third-party Threat to Your Relationship

Your partner’s attention is beginning to fade away. You feel the withdrawal with little or no idea about what is going on. Your partner may not be having a full-on affair or actively engaged in infidelity, but he or she might be being led away by a third-party threat to your relationship.

What is happening is that your partner is engaging in another type of relationship with a “friend” which is appearing to increase in value as this friendship deepens. The third-party may actually be innocent enough but is far more often intentionally “grooming” your partner to serve their intimate and possibly even evil desires.

Grooming is a process used by sexual predators, psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, and other toxic individuals to lure victims away from their primary relationship and they create an emotional bond with the victim which grows until it takes precedence over your relationship, then the predator exerts whatever plan they have carefully prepared for.

It starts off so apparently innocently, as the predator will exploit any potential topic of interest which is meaningful to your partner, their next potential victim. The key is to gradually become your partner’s most beloved friend, to slowly over time cause your partner to trust the predator more than you.

They will use any variety of ways to attach themselves to their prospective victim. Opportunities might be to offer support in your partner’s interests, especially if he or she can find one that you may not be expressing a great deal of interest in. They create common ground to form the foundation of the relationship which is the basis of this seemingly innocent relationship which will be increasingly exploitative unbeknownst to the victim as they are slowly enveloped and entrapped, not unlike quicksand.

Exclusivity is an important component of this predatory relationship. They will build confidence with the victim insisting that they share sensitive information that would be not shared with any other human being.

After the foundation has been laid, the predator insists that the relationship be regarded as highly sophisticated and allowed to flourish under an umbrella of secrecy, as “normal” people may not understand the innocent nature of this relationship, and might think that there may be a sexual component which there is clearly not (at least not yet).

Then the predator establishes “importance” above any other existing relationships in the victim’s life, for no one, not his/her husband/wife, friends, family, coworkers, mentor, or priest can be trusted as much as this snake in the grass, and in time the natural cognition of the victim can be worn-down, until they feel this connection deep inside, in the most sensitive areas of their being.

Later, the predator will attempt to exploit the victim’s inner circle, like showing up and working, or “running into them by accident” when the potential victim is out with friends and/or family. As they get to get exposed to these people, using misdirection, this person will begin to cause the victim to question the trustworthiness of these individuals who may be seeking to exploit him or her.

Clues to your partner’s being manipulated by such a third-party snake might include

You don’t know why it feels like your connection to your partner is fading away, he or she seems to admire you less, and is beginning to criticize you more.

Your notice your partner talking more and more about a new friend or reconnecting with an old friend and recounts comments or observations which appear to be meaningful.

Unusual technology behaviors like increased security measures regarding telephone, computer, and other communications devices may indicate the preservation of “secret” communications.

Your partner may be developing new interest in activities and/or projects which may require time away from home.

Your partner may be staying late at work, or you notice he or she is making more time to spend with “the boys” before coming home, may be spending weekends on special assignments, training, or taking classes.

Once you become aware of this it is time to open a line of communication with your partner about what might be distracting him or her from your relationship. It is perfectly fine for you to express concerns about your feeling that your connection is fading away. Just make sure that you do not become accusatory. Just express your feelings and allow your partner to respond.

Be prepared for your partner to respond with how innocent this relationship is, becoming defensive, insisting that “nothing is going on,” and accusing you of accusing him or her of having an affair and insinuating that there is sexual infidelity (which you have been careful to avoid). Simply and calmly re-state your assertion that you are not accusing anyone of anything, just noticing changes and seeking to reconnect with your partner in love.

Keep the line of communication open and non-threatening.

This is the beginning. If you have caught it in time, you may be able to rekindle your relationship and foil the plans of the person who is trying to set your partner free from your relationship.

A qualified relationship coach can help you and your partner work through the issues and identify and deal with the third-party threat to your relationship.

Be aware that even if this is only an emotional affair and there has been no sexual component, you may agree with so many who have lost someone they love to such a predator, that the damage to your relationship and your heart is far more severe than had it just been a sexual affair. Note that your partner will also feel the same way when he or she awakens to the fact that they have been duped, exploited, and victimized.

All We Need is Love

You are taking your love relationship to the next level, and you’re convinced that, “All we need is love,” but you’re going to need more than love to truly bond with each other in this critical phase which moves you to the most meaningful of romantic relationships. You’re willing to say to your partner, “I love all of you,” and mean it with all your heart, and if your partner loves you just as much, how do you grow together even deeper? Is it possible to, in a sense, become one flesh? Can you break the boundaries of a normal relationship and potentially become more connected than other couples?

You’re ready to take your love relationship to a whole new level, and you know, as a couple all we need is love. Not the sophomoric, “All You Need is Love”, like the Beatles promoted, or the immature, “We don’t need money, we can live on love,” that parents have heard from their children who have fallen head over heels in love. <sarcasm>Yes, two can live on love… half as long.</sarcasm> Young love can easily forsake the responsibility and reason which should also accompany true love as well, and just let their emotions run rampant.

Not to be confused with young love, you know you’re ready for something more meaningful. You can see love all around you and you’re willing to let go and love with all your heart. You’re willing to set aside your pride and let the protective walls fall down, as you reveal your true self to your partner in unguarded openness, and brutal honesty, tempered by compassion.

This is a two-way street. Don’t even think you can survive this kind of relationship, if your partner is not reciprocating. You do need to proceed with caution when taking your relationship to this deeper more mature phase of love.

Why?

If you really want to make a go of this and move into greater relationship, it takes two, baby, and if you’re partner is onboard, it is possible to entertain the idea of unconditional love.

Unconditional love sounds good at first blush, because it’s what we all want. But when we’re challenged with the idea of giving it, that is a completely different proposition.

Unconditional love means I love you no matter what. You know that’s how you want to be loved. I want you to love me no matter what. Regardless of what I do or say, I want you to love and respect me anyway, because I am just doing the best I can. My intentions are good, and I would never intentionally do anything to compromise our relationship.

And it’s easy to see this from your perspective, but when your partner feels this say, you are suspicious, your feelings are easily hurt, you take it personally, get upset, and accuse your partner of disrespecting you and the relationship that you share.

This is love, but it is not unconditional love.

This is that immature, “I love you if,” kind of love. I love you if you do this, I love you if you don’t do that. But to love someone unconditionally, means, “I love you no matter what you say. No matter what you do.”

When most people hear that initially, they recoil and burst out with a resounding, “Oh, hell no!”

Because you feel like you’ve dome that before. You loved. You let your guard down. You trusted your partner, and where did that get you? Likely you were hurt, betrayed, you suffered and your heart was broken.

But the desire for true love still lingers within the recess of your heart, longing for something more deep and meaningful, a soul-to-soul heart-to-heart connection with that special someone.

If you think you’re ready, you might consider attending an Awakening to True Love Workshop, which represents that kind of love that surpasses Hollywood’s love, or any other type of love that you might have experienced in the past.

Be forewarned, this expanded type of love is not for the weak. In fact, when you emerge on the other side of this workshop, you will be an entirely new you, ready to take on love and the world in an entirely, more empowered way, full of happy expectation and pure love.

A-type Personalities in Love

It’s safe to assume that you would be considered an “A” type personality. You’ve carved out your niche in the world, and you are achieving new heights in your specialized field, and there’s plenty of room for you to grow and expand. Ain’t nothin’ gonna slow your roll.

For the purposes of mating and having a successful love relationship, a solid “B” personality man or woman would make the best match for you. Someone who could use a little nurturing and leadership while effectively sharing the life that on you are able to give him or her. Someone who would respect you and be grateful for the lifestyle they can enjoy.

Someone who understands that you’ve got an hour-and-a-half commute in unbearable traffic after a stressful day doing what you do to get things done, and by God, things better be okay at home. The last thing you need is more drama and trauma, right? And your “B” type personality partner gets that, and is willing to put off his or her needs, waiting for a more appropriate time, when you have the bandwidth to see to his or her needs.

Now, what happens when you’re coming home to another mover and shaker mate? Someone who is your equal, equally powerful in the world, who has also been moving about the world in a massive flurry of activity?

What is you’re both coming home from a stressful day at work and need to let off steam?

This is the toxic combination, and it’s why most power couples fail. But you can manage a successful power couple relationship, if you can find the wherewithal to be thinking about how to keep your private home life separate from your public life. Both can be powerful, but the power most likely must be very different.

Believe me, you do not want to try those success tactics that are so effective in your public life on your power mate. He or she will see it coming a mile away, and if your mate takes a defensive position, Armageddon is on the horizon, and there may be bloodshed.

The good news for the power couple, is that your partner understands or “gets you” in a way that no one else could. He or she knows exactly what you’re going through, even if the two of you are successful in totally different arenas, you both get it.

You will be miles ahead toward a successful, loving power couple relationship by creating transitional space between your public powerhouse and your private love life.

I’ve found that power couples need time and sacred space to transition from their fierce lion or lioness persona to their loving partner persona. And there should be a clear difference.

I know a power husband who has an hour-and-a-half commute home from his full-on powerful business environment, and he stops by the drive-in coffee stand after work, gets a hot chocolate drink, and turns on the Christian radio station as he merges onto the highway. Now, he’s not a Christian, but he finds the music soothing, and by the time he gets home, he’s ready to unite with his lover.

His power wife is keeping track of the time, she doesn’t have a long commute, so she tries to manage her transition at approximately the same time as her husband’s commute. But she is more likely to put on soft music, meditate, or soak in a hot bath, while filling the house with aromatic therapeutic scents.

It’s not important what you do, what’s important is that you are creating a transitional space where you have the ability to decompress and transform from Godzilla to the loving man or woman you desire to be with your partner and he or she is doing the same.

This is on you. You need to find effective non-destructive ways to help you wind down and transition as an expression of your love, honor, and respect for your sacred union.

Making room to spend quality time together outside of your hectic power schedules is a given. You need to have these special times away from the hustle and bustle to align and just get lost in each other’s presence.

It is likely that in these moments of private prolonged bonded solitude that your best ideas will emerge of co-creative ideas that will have a huge impact on your family, friends, community, the greater community, and the world at large.

So, make time to get away to co-create, live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

I think it’s really important for a power couple to have a powerful support system. I would serve your best interests to have a therapist and relationship coach on board, and the more powerful you are, the more support you might need. Maybe each partner has his or her own therapist and relationship coach, just sayin’.

And if you’re doing it, and you are a power couple, by all means, you are becoming an incredible force of nature and the two of you can bring so much to the world.

You can grow in your relationship by combining your special powers and abilities.

God bless the power couples.

And God bless you for being willing to go forth, against all odds, to be the next power couple for the rest of us to admire.

Thank you for all that you do.

What is a Power Couple?

If you’ve contemplated the melding of two powerful love personalities into one, you may have asked, “What is a power couple?” and could you and your partner ascend into such a powerful love relationship? Discover what does power couple mean and find out if this appeal to you and your partner. If you’re ready to amplify the efficacy of your relationship as the ultimate gift to the community and world at large. Being a power couple is not for everyone, but if you have the desire and ability, the two of you combined can bring so much more together to the world than either of you could independently. Hand in hand you can bless others and make the world a better place.

You’re no slacker in real life and you may be considered an “A” personality, a leader, or a powerful person, and it would be no surprise if you were attracted to another similarly powerful person. While it is more common for opposites to attract, like an A and a B-type personality, when two powerful people get together, the potential of combining these two powerful forces of nature can be exponentially magnificent, or it can become a chaotic nightmare.

What is a Power Couple?

It is two powerful people uniting their gifts and abilities in love for the greater good. And knowing the potential for this becoming a toxic tragedy may give you a real advantage when challenges come to the surface. Know also that you will have to give more attention to nurturing this powerful romance than your peers.

Be forewarned that far more power couples do not make it for the long haul. We all cheer them on for making the decision to go for it, and we are heartbroken on their behalf when it all comes crashing down.

Power coupling can be scary business, but there’s no doubt for the people who have dared to give it a go and focused on deepening their relationship and sacrificing their egos to unite sincerely, they have succeeded amazingly. To spark your imagination, here are 7 power couples that you might use for inspiration, such as:

1, Eleanor and Franklin D. Roosevelt

2, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis and John F. Kennedy

3, Johnny Cash and June Carter

4, Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn

5, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick

6, Jay-Z and Beyoncé

7, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

Okay, so you’ve set your sights on, or already in a relationship with a co-creative powerful being.

Depending on the demands put on you every day, when you’re out there in the world kicking ass and taking names, you can be under a lot of stress, and you wouldn’t have made it this far if you hadn’t already found ways to deal with the stress and come out on top.

You’re creating, managing, delegating, negotiating, making decisions, and giving orders. Whether you were born with the ability to get things done, or if these were learned skills don’t matter. What does matter is this is who you are in the world. And the world looks at you, and they are impressed.

Truth be told, I see myself bonding with someone who can share my journey which includes travel, sharing, training, and loving to help others achieve their highest and best and make the world better place, not unlike the couples that I look up to, and some that are my friends, like

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis

Tony and Sage Robbins

Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks

Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt

Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach

The Freemans

Greg & Julie Gorman

Matthew and Terces Engelhart

Nate and Kaley Klemp

As well as many other couples who inspire me.

How Long do You Date Before Becoming Boyfriend Girlfriend?

Coupling is all about transitioning from a dating relationship, getting to know each other better, to a more significant relationship which is more exclusive in nature where we are concentrating on each other to see if more depth and meaning is awaiting our relationship and to discover more about our compatibility and potential of loving each other. So, how long do you date before becoming boyfriend/girlfriend, and what does it mean to be in this next phase of love? Can friends become a couple? As you become a couple you might ask when should you move in with your significant other?

Okay, you’ve met someone, and you’re hitting it off. You’ve had time to evaluate each other, you may have nothing in common, but you’re attracted to each other. You’ve found common ground. While you have your differences, you enjoy each other’s company and you could see this going forward. So, how long do you date before becoming boyfriend-girlfriend?

When you transition from getting to know each other to become a couple, you don’t have it all figured out yet, you’re just creating a sacred space to get to know each other better, and depending on your desires, you may want to enter into an agreement where exclusivity plays a part in this new phase of love.

The coupling phases is not unlike two coupling of two train cars, which are joined together for a specific purpose, to get from here to there, then to go on to some other location, which may or may not be with the car you were initially joined to, as one car may be en route to an entirely different location.

When you transition from acquaintance to a relationship where you’re getting to know each other better, the whole dynamic changes, and quite often there is an inclination to exclusivity, and you agree not to see other people while you are getting to know each other better.

There is a lot going on in this phase and if you are not specific about where your intentions are focused, there can be miscommunication and misinterpretations causing confusion and a bit of mayhem along the way.

This can be a very sensitive phase for the partner who is more concerned with the possibility of moving forward into a long-lasting love relationship, yet not taken so seriously by the casual dater, so it is important to remain cautious in this phase and the one who is more casual may not be forthcoming of his or her true intentions regarding the potential for this relationship’s potential future.

So, how long do you date before becoming boyfriend-girlfriend?

When do you become boyfriend and girlfriend?

Certainly, not at the outset, just because you’re getting to know each other better. I mean, I remember when I was six years old, and I wrote a love note to Tamara Watts. I drew a big heart on the paper and wrote: I love you. Do you love me? Check one: __ Yes __ No __ Maybe __ You want to marry me.

And if she’d replied at all, we would have been boyfriend and girlfriend on the playground and possibly even talked about getting married.

You’re not six years old anymore.

Today, you are not boyfriend and girlfriend unless you are in an exclusive relationship, which means you both agree not to see other people while you are getting to know each other better.

If you’ve had this discussion and both agree to the terms of being boyfriend and girlfriend, because it means different things to different people, then you can say your boyfriend and girlfriend.

Remember this: The object of your affection will not be exclusive unless you’ve had this discussion and have agreed to the terms of it.

Sometimes your desire to be with someone in a meaningful relationship can overshadow your sense of reason and you can assume some of the parameters of your prospective relationship as if it was just understood.

Then, when you find out that your boyfriend or girlfriend was “seeing” someone else. And the seeing could include anything to varying degrees of disapproval by you. But you have no right to be upset because you have not agreed to any terms considering those things.

If you have had this talk and agreed to the terms, then okay. You do have a right to be upset and maybe you’ve just discovered that your boyfriend or girlfriend is a scoundrel. Good thing you found out now before you started living together.

The number one thing you want in a relationship, if you are normal, is trust. But you cannot impose trust on anyone who has not agreed to the terms.

So, the answer to how long do You Date Before Becoming Boyfriend Girlfriend, is not a specific number of days, weeks, months, or even years. It’s until you’ve had the boyfriend/girlfriend discussion and have agreed to the terms of the potential deepening relationship.

But we’re such good friends. Can friends become a couple?

I mean, you need to be with someone you can trust, and I’ve been attracting people who are less than trustworthy. But I can trust my friend, shouldn’t we consider becoming a couple?

Dating your friend can destroy your friendship

Let me offer you a WARNING:

If you are attracting people who are not trustworthy, it will be unlikely that you can trust anyone who is attracted to you.

If you can trust your friend, there exists the greatest chance that if you enter into a relationship with your friend, you will not be able to trust him or her.

Why?

Because the people you are attracting into your relationships are a perfect match for you and your vibration at that time. So, if you’re attracting people who can’t be trusted, then you will keep attracting people who can’t be trusted unless you change your vibration.

And changing your vibration is a different subject.

Moving in.

As you become a couple you might ask when should you move in with your significant other?

Whoa, that’s a whole new level, right?

You’ve got to have another talk, and this one’s bigger than the boyfriend/girlfriend talk. Because you can put up with a lot that you don’t know about the intricacies about how your prospective partner is in the privacy of his or her own home.

If you haven’t broken up during the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, there’s an increased chance of breakup following moving in with each other.

But if you can survive the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, you are getting to know each other better, and are building your trust one for the other as your relationship grows, and you’re talking about cohabitation, and potentially you might be able to skip some of the less comfortable phases of love.

Regardless of what phase of love you are in, there is hope for you. There is always hope, but you need to have these important conversations and spell out what your expectations are. If you get agreement, you can expect to move forward. If not, well, good luck.

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This Relationship’s Going Nowhere I’m Out

“I am just not feeling it. My husband and I, it’s like we’re from two different planets. I just can’t live in a relationship that’s going nowhere. Can’t do it. I’m out.”

From that to,

“I was in a loveless relationship with my husband and ready to cash-out when I realized that he was my soul mate and now we share the deepest and romantic relationship together forever.”

If you find yourself in a difficult relationship (this applies to all relationships, not just those of the romantic persuasion) you could just bail out when it doesn’t seem to suit your needs (no one would blame you, this is your right) or you might consider, as some have, calling on the power of the universe to have your back.

Those who do, often experience dramatic changes within a year. So, be aware this is not normally instantaneous change. Change, evolution, real change takes time. If you’re interested in giving it a go, consider adopting some of the basic principles that can get you miraculously from where you are now to where you’d love to be with very little effort (though effort is required).

As much as it seems like it’s all about how incompatible this person seems to be in the moment, you might be surprised that this process starts with you. Yes, you.

You have been raised and trained to accept what’s been put on your plate and to expect nothing more. You’ve been programmed for mediocrity and “settling” for less than your highest and best, when that is not what you came here for.

You came here to have it all, and this is your birthright. It’s time you decided to take back your divinity as a child of God and reclaim your sacred life, now.

And it starts with you, getting to know and love you, the true authentic you, with all the blessings that have been bestowed upon you in this life. Even if it looks lackluster, and may have been incredibly painful, causing you to accept anything less than your best life, but has brought you to this moment in time. And the you who you’ve become and as transforming into through this magnificent evolutionary process is nothing less than magnificent.

If you’ve quashed and squelched your special purpose, skills, abilities, and unique message, the universe has caused you to experience life which would further prepare you for this moment, the moment of awakening to your unlimited potential.

Now is the time to start to embrace your divinity and find ways to express who you are through the words you speak and the deeds you do. By activating your 7 points of evolving expansion, you can raise your vibration to love and above.

You must get to know who you really are and love everything that you are and can be in this life and beyond, all of it, even the stuff you thought was not good (and no one was saying it wasn’t bad) but it helped to bring you to who and what you are today, and will magnify your future potential.

Don’t wait for anyone to validate or love you. You are the love of your life. Love yourself deeply, now, more than ever, every day more and more. As you find ways to fill your heart with love, this overflowing love can spill over to the others you care deeply about, your family, your community, and the world at large. Any other form of giving love is really servitude and generosity, if your heart is not full and overflowing with love. (And there’s nothing wrong with that. We need all the love we can get.)

So fill your loving cup by learning to love who you are, accepting and embracing the life that has brought you to this point in time, find ways to fill your heart with love, and take full responsibility for looking after yourself and seeing that your needs are tended to.

When your loving cup is full, then you can truly spread the love that overflows to others.

Sometimes you encounter situations and circumstances that rub you the wrong way. Find ways to take another look at the scenario, from an alternate perspective, keeping in mind that your desire is to raise your vibration to love and above, and maintain this higher frequency.

With any circumstance, there is a full spectrum of responses you can initiate in response to the situation or thought. On one end, you can stand and fight because you’re justifiably “pissed off,” and on the other end of the spectrum, you can choose to apply love and see the event from God’s perspective.

Often perception interpretation can lead to misunderstanding, and no one would blame you for going there. After all, you’ve endured many life experiences that have caused you to reach conclusions rapidly as a form of self-defense. Thankfully, this skill has gotten you this far.

If a person’s words or actions have set off your inner alarms, instead of jumping to conclusions, try jumping into the other person’s perspective. Why would he or she say or do such a thing? What life traumas might be underneath it all? Can you find compassion for someone who might act or react in such a way? Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What does that feel like?

And if that weren’t enough, look at it from God’s perspective. I could be with a completely indiscriminate person that I do not get, at all, but if I were to ask for God’s opinion, God would say, “I love him” (or her). Could I then, by seeing through the eyes of love, see those redeeming qualities that God sees?

Yeah, I might not agree with them, but they do have that God-loves-‘em-so-much quality about them. Who am I to judge? A little tolerance goes a long way. Try asking yourself What are People Like Who are Tolerant?

The quicker you are to change the way you think about a negative thought and turn it into a loving thought, your love quotient remains at the high level you are practicing to regulate. As with anything, the more often you do it, the easier it gets.

As you start to turnaround how you think about things, the whole world starts to turnaround, adjusting to your new perspective, but you must shift your point of view, first.

Raising your vibration makes you start to expect more positive responses and good things to happen to you, and they do.

If your attention is focused upon this person who you might like to be a better match for you but is not in the moment, no problem. You respect the fact that we’re all doing the best we can with what we have, and this is a beautiful child of God you’re looking at, regardless of how off-base or weird he or she may appear right now.

You can be proactive by giving him or her a chance to respond in a manner which is more befitting of your new higher vibration. You may go through an entire scenario and have it come up leaving you feeling unconnected and empty inside. By all means, do not just walk away in silence. This is the new you, with your full awakened presence intact. Give him or her another chance.

Speak up. Let him or her know that you thought this could have gone better. Try reframing the situation and all the two of you to give it another go, to see if you can come up with a more favorable outcome. If this is practiced in love, with a pure heart, the outcome will be more to your liking. Maybe not to meet your fullest expectation, but look how closer you are to having the synchronicity you desire. Good job.

As you do this, the person you’re practicing with begins to anticipate this as opportunities arise and he or she rises to meet your positive loving expectation. You expect more, receive more of what you want in connection, and love grows.

Love is all there really is …