Fly on the Wall: Anna, a Sensitive Recluse, Waiting for Love

Join me as a fly on the wall as Anna shares her story about her struggle with being sensitive and somewhat content with her reclusive post-pandemic lifestyle while desiring to find love. If you have input or suggestions for her, please leave them in the comments below.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately… about love and the whole idea of a soulmate. I believe in it, but it just feels impossible right now. Before COVID, I used to go out to bars, restaurants, and events. Nothing crazy, but enough to feel like I was part of the world. Then lockdown happened, and I just… I guess I got used to being alone. Now, everything is open again, but when I go out, I feel out of place. Like I don’t belong there anymore.”

“That’s completely understandable. The pandemic changed how many of us engage with the world. And for introverts, that shift can feel even more dramatic. You’ve mentioned that you enjoy your own company, and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s important to honor that. But you also feel like something is missing—like you want love, but you’re not sure how to find it.”

“Exactly. I’m comfortable being alone, maybe too comfortable as a recluse. There’s no drama or complications. But at the same time, I know I’m not going to meet anyone just sitting at home, journaling, and writing love letters to a soulmate who feels like a dream.”

“It sounds like you’re in a delicate balance; you cherish your solitude but long for connection. There’s no need to force yourself into environments that don’t feel right, like noisy bars or clubs. Those places don’t seem to reflect the kind of connection you’re looking for.”

“That’s true. Most of the men I’ve seen in those places are just not my type. They’re loud, always drinking, and… I don’t know, it feels shallow. It’s like they’re looking for a good time, not a deep relationship.”

“It makes sense that you’re not drawn to that scene. You’re seeking something deeper, something that resonates with who you are, a connection that goes beyond the surface. Have you considered other ways of meeting people that might align more with your personality and values?”

“I don’t know. I’m not religious, and I’ve had some bad experiences in the past with that. I also don’t have much of a social media presence, so online dating doesn’t really appeal to me either. I’ve been thinking I might be slipping into depression, but then again, I feel mostly content. It’s just… I know that my soulmate isn’t going to find me here.”

“I hear you. It’s a tricky place to be, feeling content in your solitude but also knowing that you want more. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to throw yourself into environments that feel overwhelming or force connections that don’t feel authentic. There are other ways.”

“Like what? I’ve tried a few things, but it always feels like I’m just not fitting in anywhere.”

“Let’s look at some options. You don’t need to change who you are or do things that feel uncomfortable. What if you explored quieter spaces where connection can happen naturally? For example, book clubs, poetry readings, or even nature walks could be great places to meet like-minded people without the pressure of a typical ‘dating’ scene.”

“Hmm, I hadn’t thought about that. I do love reading and writing. A book club could work.”

“And what about engaging in hobbies that foster connection? Writing workshops, art classes, or anything that brings you joy. Those environments allow for more meaningful interactions, and you’re more likely to meet people who share your interests.”

“Yeah, I could see that. It wouldn’t feel as forced as going to a bar or a party.”

“Exactly. Another thing to consider is low-key social events. Farmers’ markets, art exhibits, or community events where the atmosphere is calmer. These can provide opportunities for connection without feeling overwhelming.”

“I like that idea. I guess I’ve been looking in the wrong places.”

“It’s not so much about ‘wrong’ places; it’s more about finding the spaces that align with who you are. And remember, it’s okay to take it slow. You’re not in a rush. Sometimes, the love we seek comes when we’re least expecting it, when we’re engaged in the things that truly make us happy.”

“That’s reassuring. I’ve been feeling like I’m running out of time.”

“Trust the timing of your life, Anna. Your soulmate is out there, and while you may not meet them in the traditional places, that doesn’t mean they aren’t on their way to you. Just keep doing the things that make you feel fulfilled, and be open to new experiences when they feel right. Love has a way of finding us when we’re living authentically.”

“That makes me feel a lot better. I’ll try to put myself out there more, but in ways that feel right for me.”

“That’s the key—stay true to yourself. And don’t be afraid to ask for help along the way. Whether through continued coaching, therapy, or just talking with friends, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.”

Tips for Sensitives Waiting for Love

For other sensitives who resonate with Anna’s story, here are a few tips to help navigate the path toward finding meaningful love:

Honor your sensitive nature. You don’t have to change who you are to find love. Instead of forcing yourself into loud or extroverted environments, seek out places and activities that reflect your true self.

Engage in hobbies that bring you joy, whether writing, art, or nature. Doing things you love brings fulfillment and creates opportunities to meet like-minded people.

Explore quiet social spaces. Consider attending events like book clubs, poetry readings, or small community gatherings where thoughtful conversation is encouraged.

Consider mindful online dating if social media or dating apps don’t appeal to you. Explore platforms that focus on deeper connections rather than casual encounters.

Finding true love is not a race. Release yourself from the pressure of it all. Trust that your soulmate will appear when the time is right, and focus on building a life that makes you happy in the meantime.

Don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Seek support, whether it’s through coaching, therapy, or conversations with friends. The journey to love doesn’t have to be lonely.

Love will find its way to you, often when living in alignment with your true self. Keep your heart open, and let the world surprise you in its own time.

8 Highly Sensitive Person Super Powers

The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) often has difficulty being accepted by peers who see them as so unlike the crowd, which is why I attract them because we rejoice in our being somewhat dissimilar when compared to the vast majority. Unsuspecting onlookers may even be unaware of the HSP’s secret super powers.

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1. Learn by Osmosis

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The highly sensitive possess an uncanny ability to absorb information, data and skills without having to be physically interactive with the training. A keen observation skill in combination with internal intellectual processing produces excellent skills without much exterior integration. Since they are highly thoughtful, they can process passive information more deeply than the average person, without the need to practice or have actual hands-on experience.

2. Attention to Detail

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Due to the innate skills of the highly sensitive person, they are likely to be attracted to opportunities to excel as editors because they have the ability to quickly spot inconsistencies or errors. The can immensely focus more intently than the average person (though they may need a pristine environment to help maintain their focus).

3. Fine Motor Skills

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Think about it, mix the aforementioned abilities with excellent dexterity and focused motor skills and you have almost unlimited potential. Depending on the individual persuasion of the highly sensitive person, they could be an articulate design artist, master painter or computer programmer, engineering circuit board or chip designer. They may excel in the arts, and industries that can benefit from their special gifts like law enforcement, snipers, machinists, musicians, jewelers, dentistry, cosmetology, robotics and electronics or watch repair, etc…

4. Intense Feelings

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While they may not be highly expressive externally, internally they are processing incredible amounts of deeply felt feelings. They are highly empathetic (meaning they feel the feelings of others within themselves) which makes them the best counselors and coaches because their clients actually report they feel as if their empathetic counselor has virtually removed some of their ill feelings. And, in fact, they have assimilated some of the client’s pain and taken it on themselves. If they can manage releasing the emotions they take on from their clients, they can have a highly successful, long term practice.

Though those within the HSP’s social circle may not be aware they have much in the way of feelings at all. They are for the most part not likely to express their feelings externally, but inside they have a full range of emotion (that could be much more intense than their peers) and process their emotions more intimately. These vibrant inner forces allow them to maximize plugging in and turning on.

5. Introspective

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Since they spend a great deal of time reviewing their inner thoughts and how they are perceived in the world, they are excellent candidates for becoming more self-aware and interested in personal growth armed with their successful characteristics. While being highly introspective deeply feeling people, they are drawn to like-minded people and must find someone for whom they are well-suited for long-term romantic relationships.

6. Benevolent

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Having a propensity to be more likely an active supporter or giver than a gracious receiver, as the compassionate highly sensitive person awakes, they are likely to feel an intense desire to help others, reach out to the greater community at large and embrace a lifestyle that will help to make the world a better place.

7. They Do It in Style

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Highly sensitive people are the best doers. While others may train and talk about their potential or expertise, the highly sensitive person is many times more likely to actually engage and do what it takes to get from point A to point B.

They are manifestors and achievers who can accomplish most anything they put their attention on.

8. Excellent Leaders

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While they might initially be reluctant at the outset, when honored with a position of leadership, the industrious highly sensitive person (HSP) will more often than not outperform even the best over-the-top Type-A personality if given the chance to create and manage their own culture.

The diligent HSP can oversee difficult projects with a high level of accuracy see challenges and obstacles before they are apparent to others and are able to deal with potential problems before they arise.

You gotta love ’em

I love working with HSPs and they are by far make up the majority of the individuals with whom I find myself working with while knocking out the most outstanding results.

And if you’re building your team, seek to include a highly sensitive person on your team.

If you’re a highly sensitive person you might consider evaluating your personal HSPness, or check out Heidi Connolly‘s Elevating Your HSP-ness: How to Live a High-Frequency Life that Amplifies Your Vibration, Celebrates Your Sensitivities, & Uplifts the World!