Why Should I Write a Book?

There are many reasons why you might like to write and publish a book. What motivates us to do so? Why should I write a book? Millions of people have thought about doing it, some of those have even started the process by getting a notebook or opening a fresh blank document on one of their devices and started jotting down notes or even started the writing process by creating a draft starting with chapter one. Why?

Probably the most prevalent motivation to write is to document some part of life that you have experienced that is worthy of being shared with others and for future generations to look back on, which may be of value to someone. One of the most important phrases that come up in any research or investigation is this,

If it wasn’t documented, it didn’t happen.

Life goes by so quickly, and the minutes tick by, moving us further away from those tragic or precious tragic moments, that if shared could greatly benefit others. In that sense, there may be nothing that is more important than to provide a reference point that may be hugely beneficial, even though it may not to seem terribly significant at the time.

Countless people have been impacted by the journaling of a 13-year-old who journaled about her thoughts and feelings during a time of great conflict. Though she only lived until she was 16-years-old, two years later, her memoirs were published. And though over 30 million copies have been sold, it has exponentially impacted the lives of so many more people and has become a reference for historians. Anne Frank and her story lives on, providing valuable insight of a moment in time that has long passed. Had she not been bold enough to write those words, we might never know what it might have been like to have been a young girl in Nazi occupied Holland in the early forties.

Still, Anne Frank’s Diary is only one document. It takes many documents to complete the full picture of anything. Likewise, your document could hold within its pages valuable insights that could help complete the picture for someone else.

It is common to second-guess yourself, like, “Nobody’s going to want to read my book,” or some other form of negative self-talk, and that can deliver the deathblow to most books that could have otherwise greatly impacted others. I really can’t think of any reason you should not write your book. It’s there. It longs to be documented. You and your story matter.

There are fewer challenges in publishing your book today than any other time in history. It is easier to publish your book today than ever before. So, now the only thing standing between you and getting your book into print, is you.

If you haven’t already written your book, the actual writing process can be overwhelming. If so, you’re probably making it more difficult by focusing on the overall scope of the project facing you. If the average length of a book is 50,000 words that can appear to be an impossible task, but if you write only 500 words every day, in 100 days, your book has been written.

Think about committing to writing your book, like journaling a little every day, and before you know it, you are ready to start the publishing process.

 

What Will You Choose Love or No Love?

Can one have true love that can last a lifetime? The answer is yes or no, depending on the choices that you make at specific points along your life’s journey, “What will you choose? Love or no love?”

What will you choose? Love or no love?

The choice is yours, and whatever choice you make determines whether you will live a life in love or with no love. This is not to say that choosing, “No love,” today will prevent you from choosing, “Love,” in the future, but it may mean missing your opportunity for big love, as those opportunities are so rare, so make your love choices wisely.

Be aware that what follows contains many contrasts so be prepared to see a lot of buts.

Love is not just a feeling, but it is an action. As we all know feelings come and go. Then there is commitment, but commitment without love is more like a prison. But choosing to take action to love, even if you may not be “feeling it” at the moment, oh, that is planting seeds of love to be harvested next season.

Also know that love comes from within, from within you. You can only feel the love you allow yourself to feel, and your feeling does not come from the object of your affection. Now, he or she may be intentionally sending you their love in so many ways, but you can only receive or feel the feeling of his or her love based on the love that you have to empower his or her love.

So, love starts with you. Any feeling that you ever feel about love, being in love, or not feeling loved comes from within you. You are fully responsible for the love you receive or feel. You, alone.

7 Ways to Choose Love or No Love

1 Trust and Respect

Often touted as the most important thing in a relationship, the ability to trust and be trusted, to respect and be respected, these ideas are they keys to love. Active lying or passive lying, like lying by omission, or being deceitful are definitely choices for no love. You may be able to feign love for a while without trust and respect, but not for long.

Try to remain open and honest, live with strength, honor, and integrity. If you slip and fall, don’t try to cover it up. Try to be forthcoming with any challenges that you might be having and by all means, choose love in your communication style with your loved one.

2 Communication Characteristics

If you are in the habit of either accusing your partner, being disrespectful of your partner or feeling that you must defend yourself when communicating with your partner, you are not choosing love. Choosing love in communication is speaking your truth but not in a negative way. Say what you need to say, but say it in a gentle, calm, respectful manner. And if you’re partner is trying to say something that might be difficult to communicate, encourage him or her to get it out. Be patient, understanding, and try to find some valuable message in what they are trying to say. Thank him or her for having the courage to come forward, and be brave enough to ask them if there is anything else that they might want to say? And if they have shared more, ask them, “Is there anything else?” Keep asking until they can’t think of anything else to say about it.

Don’t be surprised if they come up with something more to say later. Just be sure to remain nondefensively humble and as gracious as possible honoring the openness of their sharing with you. This is choosing love.

Being defensive, raising your voice, accusing your partner in retaliation, otherwise pitching a fit, walking out, or giving them the silent treatment is no love.

3 Seek to Fully Understand Your Partner

Since you are two different people with completely different backgrounds, you will see and communicate things differently, and something that you think you have communicated really specific and detailed may have been received completely differently than you intended because your partner is experiencing your communication through his or her perspective, from their own previous life story.

We all do this, and assume that we are correctly interpreting what someone is trying to tell us, but find out later that this wasn’t the case at all.

Seek clarification. Try feeding what you understand back to your partner in your own words to see if you are on track. If you are, your partner can explain. Being able to better understand your partner goes a long way in establishing a solid foundation for enduring love.

4 Physical Intimacy

Many problems arise in a relationship due to issues surrounding physical intimacy. Be aware that there is no wrong way to approach dealing with problems when they come to sex in a relationship. According to Dr. Eaton, the biggest problem in relationships is a mismatch in sexual hunger. If one of the partners is a nine on the scale of sexual hunger, and the other is, let’s say, a three, this is clearly a mismatch. But that doesn’t mean that you throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Try to find a compromise. Try sexual bargaining. Maybe there’s something your partner wants that is not even connected to sex that you can satisfy for him or her. This is choosing Love in your willingness to compromise. Note that your giving in the absence of authentic hunger is as enthusiastic as that thing that you want in exchange. If you choose Love, you are making a stand against the mundane or routine, so switch it up every once in a while. Be creative and have fun with this.

Nothing helps to strengthen a loving relationship more than a good sex life, though of course other areas of the relationship should be tended to equally. In this way, you are creating a balanced love that is fully sustainable over time.

5 To Love or Not Love Boundaries

Everyone has boundaries, and if they don’t, they should have. Hopefully, discussing boundaries takes place during the early stages of courtship, otherwise, you will see yourself trying to navigate a minefield in the middle of your relationship, never knowing when you will feel that “click” under your foot and find your partner in need of having a serious talk, which can be agonizing.

Just remember that this goes both ways. You must respect your partner’s boundaries just as much as you would expect him or her to respect yours.

6 Domination, Submission, or Manipulation

There is no love in a relationship where one partner dominates, demands submission, or manipulates the other partner. The relationship is not a weapon or tool, it is cooperation, or corporation, where both parties should be equally vested and have equal say and shares in said relationship.

Inequality and manipulation can show up in many ways from actively controlling, lording over, or even expressing violence or abuse, or it can be passive by shutting down, initiating the silent treatment, withholding sex, playing the victim, or disappearing to teach your partner a lesson.

Note: Physical abuse should never be tolerated.

7 Try Something New

The last thing you want is for your love to be boring, so switch it up. Try something new. Go to a new restaurant, take a dance class, get out of town and take a single overnight or weekend minivacation, go skydiving, whatever it is, do something new and different. This breathes the breath of new life into a relationship that might otherwise grow stale.

No Drama Please in Love Relationships

If you have been in a past relationship that had a lot of drama in it, you may have come to a place of unwillingness to accommodate any drama from anyone who may present themselves to you as a potential mate. No one is saying this is a good thing or a bad thing, it just is what it is. This is a form of protection for the sake of self-preservation.

If this applies to your circumstance, at some time in a potential courtship, you may notice one or more apparent inconsistencies which will sound off alarms in your heart and mind. Many a potentially loving relationship was cut short by an early warning detection system raising red flags, which can be found everywhere you look. (This is a natural neurological condition referred to as the reticular activating system or RAS for short.)

If this bit of neural psychology is correct, if you’ve been hurt by someone, you will have reviewed all the little clues that you missed that would have been apparent and available to you consciously had you been more aware or suspicious. In many cases, you miss these signs due to the surge of the hormone Oxytocin which causes rosy retrospection otherwise known as having donned rose-colored glasses.

This is to say, if you are in love, the red flags that may have alerted you to something being amiss were overlooked and misinterpreted as cute inconsistencies or eccentricities or seen as having little meaning or threat.

Upon review following a failed relationship, all these warning signs become painfully apparent which may lead to a condition called pistanthrophobia that presupposes that the victim will be unable to trust anyone who presents him or herself as a potential suitor or suitress.

You want to survive the next relationship, so you’re constantly reviewing the data you’ve processed and measure against your observations of your next potential mate, ever looking for clues that there is trouble amiss.

This is a necessary method of self-preservation. It’s what helps us survive and is a logical way to avoid another bad relationship. The downside?  Pistanthrophobia will likely sabotage all potential future relationships, because it can color normal abstract human behavior as threatening red flags. And the mind will go to great lengths to take the reigns of the imagination and build up cases against any potential romantic relationship on the flimsiest nuggets of misinformation.

This will have the unfortunate consequence of assuring failure after failure for romance for the seeker of true and lasting love, as unsubstantiated clues are met with Miss Interpretation leading to Red Flag Obsession.

Sufferers of pistanthrophobia will prematurely end a potential relationship with a positively loving individual who may display a moment of weakness or a slight misstep that sounds emergency alarms all over town in the life of the overly cautious and protective seeker of true and enduring love. The result? The extermination and loss of a true love potential.

What is the answer?

A qualified family therapist or relationship coach can help an earnest seeker of love, dig up the roots of love failures of the past, process the lessons learned, and move on securely in faith, trust, and true love, a love that starts with one’s self, then overflows into the hearts of others.

All those negative experiences?

Successfully harnessed can help lead you into the powerful love relationship you are looking for.

Don’t give up. Get help. Heal. Get strong. Open your heart, and let your love flow.

There’s a Pill for That

Medications to Prevent Free Thinking

No matter what you believe in, there are medications that will counteract your inclination to engage in such thought processes. If you so desire, at any time, you can be medicated to prevent you from obsessive thinking or believing things that do not serve you, so that you can live a “normal” life.

There are pharmaceutical drugs in the form of pills, injections, psychiatric re-programming techniques, and medical-surgical procedures to keep you from suffering from the effects of being in love, or grieving the loss of a loved one, so that you can get on with the living of life as a (nearly) normal person.

And for those who desire such relief, thank God it is there. For the rest of you, free thinkers a conspiracy looms in the distance.

There’s a Pill for That

If you are thinking that this (or anything else) might be a conspiracy, there’s a pill for that.

If your child is a bit too creative, inattentive, or is not easily managed, there is a pill for that.

If you’re too zealous about your religious endeavors, there’s a pill for that.

If you are resistant to the idea of supporting modern pharmacology, there’s a pill for that.

If you believe in angels or aliens, there’s a pill for that (same pill).

If you believe the government is watching and monitoring you (and you care about it), there’s a pill for that.

If you think you should have rights beyond those which are offered by the current administration, there’s a pill for that.

If you believe in natural healing, homeopathy, energy healing, laying on of hands, etc… there’s a pill for you, too.

There’s a bigfoot pill, a “hearing the voice of God” pill, a deep spiritual connection (with anyone or anything) pill, and if you’d do anything to help someone else who is unable to help themselves, there’s a pill for that, too.

Our society is getting ready for controlling the masses. Yes, you may have the right to “free speech” (although, from what I’ve seen lately, I’m beginning to wonder about that… and I know, there’s a pill for that, too) but increasingly, it looks like the government and medical institutions backed by pharmaceuticals are gearing up for “normalizing” the general population.

I get it. Our numbers are growing and a majority of us are calling out for being supported by the system, which would be nearly impossible to manage if we all were independent thinkers.

Agreeing to accept some degree of normality, will mean you get help, medical, food, housing allowance, a government stipend. But, if you “color outside the lines” you may risk being diagnosed with

Individuality Psychosis

If you are labeled as having some form of individuality psychosis, where will you be then?

Cut off.

And if you persist in your refusal to comply, there may be legal consequences for refusing.

So, you must be “normal.” What is normal?

Ask any public servant what normal is. He or she will answer, go to school, get a job, pay for rent and utilities, go to enough school and learn to be obedient and you could get a State-job, so you can drive a nicer car and buy a pretty good house with a white picket fence and garage with an extra fridge for beer and/or a wine cellar. Oh, and don’t forget a huge cable package and blistering-speed Internet.

And when you’ve served your time, you can have a little retirement to hold you over while you grow old, deteriorate, and get ready to make room for someone else.

It’s all a part of the “normal” cycle of life.

This system makes perfect sense, and those who have devised it, profit wildly from it.

But free thought is likened unto criminality, familial dysfunction, potential violence, and abuse.

To think for one’s self, to imagine yourself evolving to a higher state of being, would be considered as the same type of problems that would be presented by persistent rule-breakers, substance abusers, the unemployed, homeless people, and those who regularly engage in domestic violence.

Individuality breeds chaos, where anything could happen. It’s a problem.

How in the world could we ever manage a populace of freethinkers?

Impossible.

So, they create elaborate social structures to keep people thinking that they are free within the invisible walls which we keep them safely restrained within, and we make them think that because they have freedom of choice, to choose between two options, they are free.

But the world, the universe, is not limited in choices or options. If you were able to think freely, were allowed to grow, evolve, and expand in conscious awareness, you would know that options are limitless, and possibilities are infinitely endless.

But that would be crazy!

There’s a pill for that.

 

This Is Your Journey

You have this one life to live and you can choose to live your life, full-on, as your own, or you can live your life as defined by someone or something else, like a good little human. (I humbly apologize for the sarcastic overtones.)

You came here as an independent spirit in human form to experience a wide variety of life. Along with you, you brought certain talents, gifts, and special abilities, all to support your purpose and to enable you to best sing your song. Not that your song might be a melody to be sung with your voice, but more like your unique message to be shared by you will have an extraordinary perspective, look and feel, unique to you.

When you were young, you fully acknowledged, “I believe in the person I want to become,” to live this life in all its fullness. Since then, you may have forgotten this is your journey as you were swooped up and enveloped in someone else’s vision, and there’s a good chance most of (if not everything) you believe in is a lie.

There are forces that abound on this planet which would like to eliminate the inkling of a thought which you might entertain about having anything of significance to contribute to the world. So, they start programming you via social engineering to stamp out any hope of remembering your life’s purpose.

This programming is so effective, that your parents, caretakers, teachers, coworkers, family, and friends, are all under the spell of the powers that want to control you, and they are all trying to prevent your authentic, inspired self from emerging and making an impact. Of course, all this effort is heart-felt concern, as if to be looking out for your best interests.

You can’t really fault or blame people for exerting their beliefs in an effort to “save you from yourself” because they love you, and they so sincerely believe their efforts to prevent you from being who you really are will save you from pain, suffering, and utter disaster.

Live Your Life

The real you, the you that you were sent to this planet to be, is aching to be acknowledged and released. You hear that still small inner voice, that resides in the deepest part of you praying that you will be able to hear it among all the noise. It is sometimes so very hard to hear because it is buried so far beneath the loud inner voice of ego, which is easy to be manipulated and programmed by the powers and their social engineering.

And if that weren’t enough, your conscious mind is under constant attack of a barrage of distracting details, data, media, drama, and trauma, that you couldn’t find a gap in the space quiet enough to hear the voice of your true inner self.

Yet, you know it is there. You can feel it.

Even with all the efforts, supported by all the money and power in the world to suppress the real you, you know there is more to this life than what you’ve been allowed to think of or believe in. And apart of you longs to

Live Your Life

If you want to believe in a better life, you must be willing to assert, “I want to believe in myself,” and don’t believe everything you’ve been told. Take back your life. This is your journey and you’re in charge of you.

To live your life authentically and be true to yourself, consider creating some sacred space for you to tune in to who you really are. Getting in touch with you, “the you” you were meant to be, will take separation from the things in life which have been placed there to distract you and keep you in a state of trance, or panic.

Your feelings easily distract you, so find ways to reduce or eliminate (at least momentarily) any of the things in life that make you feel bad. Anything that makes you feel angry or sad, find ways to get these things out of your life, at least in the beginning. Later, once you are able to identify and connect with your true inner self, then you can find ways to disempower anything that might try to distract you from your purpose, message, passion, and/or mission (pmpm).

Don’t settle for mediocrity. Make a concerted effort to disassociate yourself from the mediocre life you’ve been programmed to accept for yourself. Take a look at all the programming which you have subjected yourself to which may not be supporting your authentic self. Things like bad habits which may not serve you, but are so effective at distracting you from the authentic frequency and vibration of the real you, that you may have physiological connections or dependency on these substances and/or activities keeping you even more separated from who you really are.

Now is the time to make some clean and pure psychological and physiological space for you to enable you to authentically connect to the real you, allowing you to truly live your life in a genuinely empowered and effective life, free from the social engineering and powers which desire your blind subservience.

As you learn more about what you really want in life, know this is your birthright. All the things you desire (when free from the programming, and some which you were drawn to while under the influence of the programming) are yours to be enjoyed in this lifetime. These desires would not have been placed in your heart of hearts, endearing you to them, if you were not called to enjoy them in their fullness.

All these things are waiting for you to have them and frolic fully in the joy of possessing them and/or living in the energy of them. It is on you to close the gap between where you ware and where you want to be, between what you have now and what you want to have.

Since all you want, and have ever wanted, has already been provided for you, all you have to do to close the gap is to align yourself with what you want and to remove anything which is blocking you from seeing it or having it. When nothing stands between you and what you want, and you are in the vibration of whatever it is, you find yourself in the fullness of it.

Doing a little something-something every day moves you closer and closer to what you want, enabling you to live your life authentically and abundantly.

Ask yourself, “Who am I?” Who can I be? Who have I been called to be and what is my message?

Only you can discover the answers to these questions for yourself.

Be open and prepared for evolutionary changes within yourself, which will affect not only you but the world around you.

This is your life. Start living your own life today.

Join Us ~ Share Your Message
and Shout it from the Rooftops

For years I’ve been shouting, “Achieve your highest and best,” and, “Live a better life,” and lately, I’ve been adding, “And make the world a better place,” because those of us who are doing the work, can’t do it alone. If these things resonate with you, then I encourage you to contact me and let’s find a way to light the path, so that you, too, can help carry the torch for others who are lost in the darkness.

If you’ve recently experienced an awakening, and you’re seeing this life for what it is, unveiled and exposed to your consciousness for the first time, it’s easy to get over-enthusiastic about spreading the word to others who cannot see it clearly, as you are beginning to do.

If you already haven’t figured it out, I would caution against this. As you may have already figured out, by experience, society has built into it a self-policing subconscious trigger, and when you suggest that things may not be as they seem, this trigger is tripped, and any socially-programmed individual will try to fervently correct you, and place you safely back in the fold. It is a knee-jerk reaction to a lifetime of programming, and this is so ingrained, that they feel obligated to do so as if their very life depended on it.

In many cases, someone gets a glimpse of what’s behind the veil, they share it with someone they know and trust, and BAM! They get attacked, ridiculed, called a fool, threatened with mental illness diagnosis, exile, or imprisonment. It’s no surprise when they slip back into the life they were programmed to live since birth. This is the only way to feel supported by one’s family and peers, there’s a sense of safety and security there. This social structure is very effective and every bit as real as any prison, only better; because it’s invisible and only exists in the mind.

But if you are somewhat stealthy, you can exist among your family and peers, while becoming more aware, expanding and evolving without much trouble. Still, there remains an urge inside you to share what you are learning, which is what we all want to do but be careful.

Early believers have had this problem when getting excited about sharing their faith with others, and there are many religious passages warning believers that non-believers will not be able to hear them, nor understand them. It’s as if the non-believers speak a different language and are unable to understand what you are trying to say. So, believers are instructed not to waste your efforts on those who are incapable of hearing what you are saying.

But, then the texts go on to refer to those who are not only willing to listen to you but an open, yearning and looking for the truth of the words that you long to share. These people represent the fertile soil waiting for your nurturing and will be part of the garden you will cultivate, which is part of your mission.

The urge to share what you’re learning and to be able to grow among others who are like-minded is very natural and may very well be a part of your calling (and it probably is, or else you wouldn’t feel so compelled).

Likewise, those of us who are doing the work, making the sacrifices, taking the risks and sharing our message; we, too are looking for individuals who would like to join us in spreading the word.

So, if that is you, and you are feeling this enthusiasm about joining the unveiling brigade of truth, then, by all means, find someone you resonate with and join the team. Don’t be embarrassed about not feeling good enough, worthy enough, talented enough, or any of those other programs running in the background designed to keep your ideals hidden away and never shared.

Don’t let your voice be silenced. God gave you a voice and a mission. You came to this planet with a divine assignment, and it’s up to you to take hold of it, embrace it and share it.

Find someone you resonate with (it doesn’t have to be me) and reach out to him or her. Send an email, a text, a letter by snail mail, or smoke signals… reach out and let them know you have a message. We are always looking for others who are willing to stand up and share the message of growing awareness, expansion, and evolution.

And if your first attempt appears to not be as good a fit as you thought, then find someone else you resonate with and offer to team up with that person. Keep doing this until you find someone, and if your message is so unique, that it’s difficult to find someone to team up with; no problem. Go it alone, and look for others who will be attracted to you and your message.

Do not be silent.

The world’s best symphonies are buried six feet under, never to be heard, because they did not exercise their gift and deliver their message to the world.

This is your time to share your mission with your voice.

Tell your story.

Difficult People and How to Handle Them

Learning to deal with difficult people is like learning a foreign language.  It’s well, shall we say, difficult? But as challenging as it is to develop fluency in conflict situations, it’s just as hard, if not harder, to learn to detach yourself emotionally from the outcome.

It helps to think about it this way: drama is a childhood phenomenon.  So whenever you are faced with hysteria, irrational thinking or out-of-control emotions, know that there is simply a child in the room – a fully-grown adult child, but a child nonetheless.

See, underneath difficult personalities there is an unhealthy, undeveloped, unsatisfied ego who is acting out. Since these egos are remnants of childhood, normal, rational thinking does not apply.  They live to ensnare you into their reality when something has happened to make them feel insecure.  But, it’s a time warp.  Do not go! If you do, you’ll end up mired in another person’s emotional environment that is rooted in the past.

Of course, not being privy to that past, you have no idea how the person is allowing his or her ego to distort the present.  All you can do is manage it from your perspective the best you can.  The key is to stay steady and not get drawn in.

Easier said than done, I know.

Chances are, if you’ve been in the workforce for any amount of time, you have crossed paths with some of these ego-laden “characters.”   Here are some things you can do to help manage the conversation and the person to whom you are trying to talk.

The Ticking Time Bombs

Think Tasmanian devil. These folks are volatile, inconsistent, and unpredictable. They fly off the handle easily and feel empowered by making others walk on eggshells. They stifle free dialogue by shutting other people down, and they kill the possibility of having productive conversations by breeding insecurity in their relationships.

  • The Tyrant rants and raves and makes no sense.
  • The Ogre is grumpy and unpleasant and snaps for no reason.
  • The Bully derives pleasure from pushing other people around.
  • The Loose Cannon is quiet and pent up but abusive when set off.

How to Deal:

Weather the storm. Remain calm no matter what.  If you ever heard a story about what to do should you find yourself face-to-face with a lion in the wilderness, you know your only chance at survival is to stare it down, eye-to-eye, and remain still until it is convinced by your lack of fear that you are not the perfect prey.

What to Say:

“Whoa, hold on,” and then don’t be afraid to ask the Ticking Time Bomb to simply stop. Request that he or she refrain from snapping, bullying, abusing, ranting, raving, etc. . .  State that you don’t do well under attack and that you would like the conversation to progress in a mutually respectful way.

Don’t make it harder than it has to be. On many occasions, I have said to people who felt the need to push me around, “Please don’t bully me. I don’t like it.” It works!

The Centers of the Universe

These people have a bad case of me, myself and I myopia. They only see themselves and have a distorted view of their own importance in the world. Communicating with them effectively is a challenge because they don’t listen, unless, of course, you are feeding their egos, which is more about them. They filter what they want to hear, taking what feeds their egos and rejecting anything that doesn’t fit into their delusion that the world revolves around them.

  • The Narcissist cannot tolerate being wrong and brings an unreasonable sense of entitlement to conversations and self-focus to relationships.
  • The Power Monger is interested in compensating for his or her own feelings of weakness and inferiority by acquiring power through status, people, and things to feel more important.
  • The Control Freak needs to control not only conversations but people, too, in order to feel good about him or herself.
  • The Intimidator wants to establish his or her superiority, often by instilling fear so that others won’t speak up.

How to Deal:

Don’t take the bait. Centers of the Universe will have you as twisted as they are in no time if you play into the game that they are playing with themselves. Stay on track and do not allow yourself to be reduced.

What to Say:

Nothing. Ignore the bravado, and don’t engage in their histrionics – just stick to the facts.

The Buzz Kills

These guys and gals are negativenegativenegative! They refuse to explore alternative possibilities or open their minds. They obstruct important dialogue from occurring because they are stuck in a world of small-mindedness.

  • The Naysayer says that everything won’t work and is not interested in anything new and/or improved.
  • The Know-It-All always has to be right and thinks he or she knows how things will turn out regardless of whether it’s true or not.
  • The Curmudgeon is ill-tempered, full of resentment, and stubborn.
  • The Ignoramus is not open to suggestions from others and is not open, period.

How to Deal:

Ask questions. Every time a Buzz Kill tries to put the kibosh on something, try to find out why he or she feels the need to choose failure over success before even trying.

What to Say:

“Why must you put a damper on everything?” Point out how their pessimism is grounded in nothing substantive and that whether they know it or not, they’re making everything harder than it has to be, including trying to have a conversation.

The Slippery Sly Ones

Watch out for this group. They are underground operators. They undermine healthy dialogue and erode trust by feigning authenticity and operating under false pretense.

  • The Dissembler conceals the facts and his or her true intentions.
  • The Skulk is evasive and shirks responsibility.
  • The Conniver schemes, lies, and cheats to get ahead, all the while making pretend to be on the same side you are on.
  • The Manipulator bends the truth, twists words, and hides his or her motives as a means to serve his or her own end.

How to Deal:

Call them out on it. You have to, because when the ego knows you see it, it has nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. By merely revealing your awareness of its presence, you will often shame that part of the Slippery Sly Ones into minding its manners.

What to Say:

“Something doesn’t add up here.” Or, you could say something like, “This does not feel kosher . . . or cool . . . or copacetic . . . or right.”  Remember, it is perfectly acceptable to tell someone what you think and how you feel.

The Suck-Ups

We’ve all known our fair share of these. It’s their insincerity that makes it so difficult to communicate with them. They’ll “yes” you to death in lieu of having a meaningful conversation.

  • The Blowhard is stuck on him or herself and full of useless self-serving jabber.
  • The Sycophant seeks favor by flattering people.
  • The Brownnoser is motivated by approval and goes out of his/her way to impress those he or she deems important.

How to Deal:

Make it clear that you would prefer not to have a conversation that consists only of agreement and accord.

What to Say:

“Please stop. . . .” Point out that they don’t need to work so hard to look good and that it is infringing on your ability to move forward with them in the conversation.

The Oblivious

This bunch is really out there. They exist in their own reality, which is unrecognizable to almost everyone else. The problem is that real issues aren’t addressed while they detract from the clarity needed for constructive conversations.

  • The Dreamer is not only not in reality, but in denial most of the time, too.
  • The Flake has trouble connecting what he or she says with what he or she does, and as a result, conversations with him/her seem as though they never happened.
  • The Drama Queen blows everything out of proportion and creates drama for attention.

How to Deal:

Have the conversation and cross your fingers that the Oblivious “get it.” Give it your best shot and document everything that is said because when it comes up again, the Obliviouswill have no idea what you’re talking about.

What to Say:

“Snap out of it.” You can ask them to try to step out of their own reality and face the facts as they are, but don’t hold your breath.  All you can do is try.

The Juveniles

These kids trapped in adult bodies are more draining than a marathon. They sap energy, waste time, and turn the workplace into a day-care center.

  • The Blamer never accepts responsibility for even the smallest, stupidest things and finds reasons to blame someone else.
  • The Whiner complains all the time about how everything but he or she is the problem.
  • The Excuser makes excuses for everything and is automatically defensive.
  • The Spoiled Brat pouts to get attention.
  • The Gossip stirs up trouble and wastes time being concerned with other people’s business.

How to Deal:

Point out specifically what is juvenile about their behavior. The best thing to do is express your amazement that such behavior exists in a professional, adult, work environment.

What to Say:

Tell them point-blank how unbecoming and inappropriate their behavior is.

The preceding is a reprint of an article featured in Psychology Today by  Author of Surviving Dreaded Conversations, Donna Flagg, who said it better than I could have. Stretch your mind and your body by visiting Donna’s site at Lastics.com

Are You a Being or a Bot In the Video Game of Life?

If we’re all living in one big video game, as Elon Musk believes, might it be helpful to know which people we interact with are “real?” (Real meaning that they are authentic beings hooked up to a machine, not unlike a virtual reality video game.) And might it be to your advantage to be able to identify those which are just computer-generated models or bots, which appear to be real, but are really “fake?” (Fake meaning there is no actual live being living the experience on the other side.)

Are You a Being or a Bot In the Video Game of Life?

The best players in the video game of life contend there are clues to whether a being with whom we interact in this virtual world (which seems very real) are connected beings or computer game simulations.

Characteristics of Real Beings

The characteristics of real beings living in this virtual reality world are different from those generated by the “system” which runs this massive simulated life experience. The people, like you and me, who are off-grid somewhere hooked up to the machinery for the experience share the following qualities:

They look out for others, possess a high degree of compassion, care more about their fellow man, and other participants in the game, such as animals, and the environment which shapes the world we live in. They want to contribute to making the game even better for other players.

In terms of influence, the real beings are less compelled to impress or seek approval from others. They’re fairly confident about who they are in this game and don’t need to be supported by others to have a sense of value for their lives. If their mission in life leads them to the stage, they do so in humility, if not reluctantly, and have no intrinsic need to be the center of attention.

Real players find comfort in quiet time, solitary moments, and relaxation to restore and recharge themselves and are humble because they really have nothing to prove.

If you’re real, you’re often found being that way. For instance, if you have a problem with someone, you can talk to that person face-to-face, express your concerns to see if you can work anything out, or make sense of something you don’t understand.

Integrity is important to the real players in the video game of life. They have a high sense of honor which has them wanting to be true to themselves and others. They will expend extra effort to keep their promises and to do the right thing, regardless of how they feel, or unforeseen circumstances. They are dependable and keep their word.

You will find real live life game players uplifting and acknowledge others for a job well done, or an enthusiastic effort, even if someone has fallen short of their intended mark. We understand everyone’s just doing the best they can (including ourselves), and applaud those why try their best.

The motivation for real beings is grounded in the greater good, so they often can be found helping and supporting others in the game of life. They desire to see and help as many other players as possible have the most success, joy, love, and living out the best game for them in this life, even if they get nothing in return for their support.

Characteristics of Game-Generated Bots

The computer/game-generated bots with whom we share the video game of life are just as real as we are, though they do not have a person connected to them, like us. They can be identified by the following characteristics:

They see themselves as being better than others (especially players hooked to the machine, like us). They lack respect for the players but tend to align themselves with sources of power to influence their standing within the game. Therefore, if you are in an influential position within the game, while you wield this power, they will feign support, alignment, friendship, love, and acceptance, to draw upon (and possibly drain) your power to improve their position in the game.

Bots are always looking for acceptance of others, seeking to validate their existence. They can be found exerting a great deal of effort to be accepted by others, and have no qualms about lying or being dishonest in their attempts to create value in their lives, essentially by “fooling” others (and themselves) into believing they are real.

Bots are anxious, unsettled, and are constantly on the lookout for ways to advance their position in the game, desirous to be in the spotlight. They will seek entertainment, excitement, and finding new ways to have access to others to extract life force and gain points in the game. In a meeting, if they are not in front of the room, or on stage, they will seek to get as close as possible or exert their superiority or excellence in some way. They find it difficult to relax but will pretend to relax with someone else, if they think it will potentially increase their position in the game.

Contrasting the humility of real players, bots find it necessary to brag and boast about their experiences, performance, achievements, possessions, or position. They believe this will attract “followers” in order to increase their value or influence.

Bots have no inclination to keep it real (because it’s not) and they have no problem talking behind others’ backs and spreading unsubstantiated rumors. Plus, they think the putting down of others, gives themselves an even greater sense of superiority.

The bots in the game of life are likely to tell you whatever you want to hear and make promises they never intend to keep. It’s hard to trust a bot due to their track record of not following through while possessing a litany of likely (or unlikely) excuses for not keeping their end of the bargain.

Bots could care less about what you’re doing but may look at recognizing or rewarding your efforts for a job well done as a way to manipulate you or persuade you to follow him or her. They are also prone to criticism or putting someone down for not doing better, especially if it makes them look or feel superior.

When a bot does something good, he or she has to announce it to the world. Since they are only motivated to advancing their position in the game, they will only do something to help someone else in the game, if it will add power or influence to their overall strategy and accumulate points. Otherwise, you’re on your own.

Non-compatibility in Relationships

What are you looking for in an authentic, loving, romantic partner?

You might be surprised to find out what you’re really looking for is the love that you feel like you didn’t receive from your (usually opposite sex) parent, and on a deeper level the love we seek is that akin to the love we felt prior to being born.

On the surface, a quick overview of your search for love and the people you align yourself with might have you thinking you’re always attracting the wrong kind or person, that people change after you get to know them better, and that you often discover that while you thought you had so much in common in the beginning, the two of you are complete opposites.

Your friends might try to console you with, “Not to worry. It’s just that your picker is broken,” reinforcing the idea that you unbeknownst to you are unconsciously selecting bad apples from the barrel.

But,

What if…?

What if everything is in divine order and the type of person you’re attracted is exactly the type of person you need in your life to complete your personal cycle of love, to heal from the love seeking you did as a child, and to evolve into a far greater lover, expanding your horizons and moving to the next level of enlightened love?

What if the people you’re attracting, who appear to be completely incompatible are actually the perfect person you need in your life to bring out the very best in you?

And if this were true, you would be the same for him or her, just as they are for you; the key to unlock your highest and best.

Emotional wounds from childhood leave you wanting the love you failed to receive in your youth in adulthood. You don’t know why you’re attracting someone similar to your parents but this is exactly what you need to make it right, heal those old wounds, to receive the love that you desire and deserve.

In this present age, we focus so much on compatibility, which is terribly convenient in exercising a relationship where the value of growth and change seems difficult or like too much work to bother with. The more alike you are, easier it is to get along, live together and appreciate each other.

It sounds like a dream come true compared to your past experiences where you’ve thought that you were with the wrong person and just could not find a way to make it work out for you or your partner, and if you could, the cost would just be too great.

True love, the love that comes from above, dwells within us but it is hidden beneath a cloud of bad feelings, let downs, and life experiences through which we could barely know it is there, if at all.

You try so hard to love in an authentic way, the way you long to be loved, but you feel unworthy, are confident that you will fall short, so you sabotage your relationship, allow it to fail, in an effort to keep yourself safe from exposing too much of yourself, as an act of self-preservation. This disengagement is a source of great anxiety within you.

Love’s connection with another person is a part of who we are. This connection one-to-another in an authentic intimate relationship is what we seek as we try to recapture the pure love we felt prior to birth. To be suddenly aware of the separation and unable to make it work, could leave one feeling as though true love is not possible.

If it is your destiny to find this evasive love, and if it is the only reason you have come here to live your life on this planet, then you might even think that life itself may not be worth living at all.

In this way, life and love are deeply embedded in us as humans. It is difficult to separate one from the other (though many of us choose to maintain this separation, ignoring the true love component our life’s work).

In human form, there is no way to manifest the original true connected love we experienced prior to birth but we can come very close if we are willing to learn and grow, leaving behind the shadows from our past and move on into the light of love.

Unless you settle for compatibility as your only criteria for selecting your life mate, you will continue to be offered the opportunity to meet the exact type of people who can assist you on this sacred journey of love and life.

Time and Memorial

Time goes on, and you love and you experience loss. It’s all a part of the grand design of this life’s experience. We attach ourselves to people who we admire or love. People who have greatly impacted our lives in ways they could never know or imagine.

These are the distant heroes of our lives. They are religious icons, celebrities, musicians, performance artists, artists, actors, business and wealth leaders, and a host of people who may be beyond arm’s length, yet they inspire us to do better, achieve more or build a fire inside us to offer something more to the world that has blessed us with this gift of life.

Then, when you least expect it, the person who has been such an inspiration to you, ends their physical journey on the very earth you may have shared with them. And you experience a sense of loss.

You may experience a great sense of loss and be affected in the most incredible way, as if you experienced the grief of the loss of a close friend or loved one, even though you may have never met this person face to face, or did not have a two-way long-term relationship. Still, you feel the pain of separation and realize that any hope of sharing an experience or creating something in the future with that person could never be.

Then, as you get older, you see your relatives and friends start to leave this physical plane, and you grieve their loss.

Then, on days, like today, we honor those who have lost their lives in military service. As honorable as this is, to volunteer for military service so that the rest of us can stay at home and enjoy the fruits of our American freedoms, is commendable, to say the least.

A few years ago, I had a son who volunteered for such a command in military service. I watched him take his vow of service, and I was as proud as a father could be. Even though he pledged to give his life in service if necessary, both he and I were certain that the odds were in his favor.

How could we have known that on the first 4th of July following his enlistment, he would be fatally wounded in a Taliban attack in Afghanistan?

We, his mother and I, talked to him on the phone the evening of July 3rd, and he was so alive… He called many friends and relatives that evening. Only a few hours later, there was the ominous knock on our door by a pair of full-dressed military officials delivering the news.

No parent should have to bury their own son or daughter, ever. In that moment, Aaron’s mother and I joined the families that lost a family while in military service as well as parents who would have to lay one of their children to rest.

It is the worst possible pain, yet even in the sacrifice of young PFC Aaron Fairbairn, he leaves behind a legacy that immortalizes his life, sacrifice and service among the many heroes who had fallen before him and those who will fall henceforth.

In our memories of all who are remembered for their deeds on earth, we honor them, celebrate their life and preserve their memory, extending the impact on our lives and the lives of others when we remember them. In this way we invite them to live in us and through us even though their days were numbered.

Sometimes, people you have loved so dearly, more dearly than you could ever dare to admit, suddenly leave, and any sense of loss that you might have may not be deemed socially acceptable. This is referred to as disenfranchised grief, and you are certainly entitled to your grief, though it may be a process of solitude, making your own way, in private, without the emotional support of family and friends.

But that’s okay. We all do the best we can with what we have.

Love, live and honor those who are no longer with us.

Celebrate their lives and add love, value, and longevity to their lives by extending in in your own.

Heal Your Life Symptoms

A

Abdominal Cramps: Fear. Stopping the process.
Abscess: Fermenting thoughts over hurts, slights and revenge.
Accidents: Inability to speak up for the self. Rebellion against authority. Belief in violence.
Aches: Longing for love. Longing to be held.
Acne: Not accepting the self. Dislike of the self.
Addictions: Running from the self. Fear. Not knowing how to love self.
Adrenal Problems: Defeatism. No longer caring for the self. Anxiety.
Alcoholism: Feeling of futility, guilt, inadequacy. Self-rejection.
Allergies: Denying your own power.
Alzheimer’s Disease: Refusal to deal with the world as it is. Hopelessness and helplessness. Anger.
Amenorrhea: Not wanting to be a woman. Dislike of the self.
Anemia: “Yes-but” attitude. Lack of joy. Fear of life. Not feeling good enough.
Ankle: Inflexibility and guilt. Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure.
Anorexia: Denying the self life. Extreme fear, self-hatred and rejection.
Anxiety: Not trusting the flow and the process of life.
Apathy: Resistance to feeling. Deadening of the self. Fear.
Appetite, Excessive: Fear. Needing protection. Judging the emotions.
Arm: Represents the capacity and ability to hold the experiences of life.
Arteries: Carry the joy of life.
Arthritic Fingers: A desire to punish. Blame. Feeling victimized.
Arthritis: Feeling unloved. Criticism, resentment. – Rheumatoid Arthritis: Feeling victimized. Lack of love. Chronic bitterness. Resentment. Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Asthma: Smother love. Inability to breathe for one’s self. Feeling stifled. Suppressed crying.
Athlete’s Foot: Frustration at not being accepted. Inability to move forward with ease.

B

Back Issues: Represents the support of life. Back Problems: – Rounded shoulders: Carrying the burdens of life. Helpless and hopeless. – Lower Back Pain: Fear of money or lack of financial support. – Mid-Back Pain: Guilt. Stuck in all that stuff back there. “Get off my back!” – Upper Back Pain: Lack of emotional support. Feeling unloved. Holding back love. – Back Curvature: The inability to flow with the support of life. Fear and trying to hold on to old ideas. Not trusting life. Lack of integrity. No courage of convictions.
Bad Breath: Anger and revenge thoughts. Experiences backing up.
Balance, Loss of: Scattered thinking. Not centered.
Baldness: Fear. Tension. Trying to control everything.
Bedwetting: Fear of parent, usually the father.
Belching: Fear. Gulping life too quickly.
Bell’s Palsy: Extreme control over anger. Unwillingness to express feelings.
Bladder Problems: Anxiety. Holding on to old ideas. Fear of letting go. Being “pissed off”.
Bleeding: Joy running out. Anger.
Blisters: Resistance. Lack of emotional protection.
Blood Pressure: – High: Longstanding emotional problem not solved. – Low: Lack of love as a child. Defeatism.
Body Odor: Fear. Dislike of the self. Fear of others.
Bones: Represent the structure of the universe. – Bone marrow: Represents deepest beliefs about the self. How you support and care for yourself. – Breaks: Rebelling against authority.
Brain: Represents the computer, the switchboard. – Tumor: Incorrect computerized beliefs. Stubborn. Refusing to change old patterns.
Breast: Represents mothering and nurturing and nourishment. – Cysts, Lumps: A refusal to nourish the self. Putting everyone else first. Over mothering. Overprotection. Overbearing attitudes.
Breath: Represents the ability to take in life. – Breathing Problems: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Getting stuck in childhood. Fear of taking in life fully. – Bronchitis: Inflamed family environment. Arguments and yelling.
Bruises: The little bumps in life. Self-punishment.
Bulimia: Hopeless terror. A frantic stuffing and purging of self-hatred.
Burns: Anger. Burning up. Incensed.
Bursitis: Repressed anger. Wanting to hit someone.

C

Calluses: Hardened concepts and ideas. Fear solidified.
Cancer: Deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatreds.
Candida: Feeling very scattered. Lots of frustration and anger. Demanding and untrusting in relationships. Great takers.
Canker Sores: Festering words held back by the lips. Blame.
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome: Anger and frustration at life’s seeming injustices.
Cataracts: Inability to see ahead with joy. Dark future.
Cellulite: Stored anger and self-punishment.
Cerebral Palsy: A need to unite the family in an action of love.
Chills: Mental contraction, pulling away and in. Desire to retreat.
Cholesterol: Clogging the channels of joy. Fear of accepting joy.
Circulation: Represents the ability to feel and express the emotions in positive ways.
Colds: Too much going on at once. Mental confusion, disorder. Small hurts.
Colic: Mental irritation, impatience, annoyance in the surroundings.
Colitis: Insecurity. Represents the ease of letting go of that which is over.
Coma: Fear. Escaping something or someone.
Conjunctivitis: Anger and frustration at what you are looking at in life.
Constipation: Incomplete releasing. Holding on to garbage of the past. Guilt over the past. Sometimes stinginess.
Corns: Hardened areas of thought – stubborn holding on to the pain of the past.
Coughs: A desire to bark at the world. “Listen to me!”
Cramps: Tension. Fear. Gripping, holding on.
Crohn’s Disease: Fear. Worry. Not feeling good enough.
Crying: Tears are the river of life, shed in joy as well as in sadness and fear.
Cuts: Punishment for not following your own rules.
Cysts: Running the old painful movie. Nursing hurts. A false growth.
Cystic Fibrosis: A thick belief that life won’t work for you. “Poor me.”

D

Deafness: Rejection, stubbornness, isolation. What don’t you want to hear? “Don’t bother me.”
Depression: Anger you feel you do not have a right to have. Hopelessness.
Diabetes: Longing for what might have been. A great need to control. Deep sorrow. No sweetness left.
Diarrhea: Fear. Rejection. Running off.
Dizziness: Flighty, scattered thinking. A refusal to look.
Dry eyes: Angry eyes. Refusing to see with love. Would rather die than forgive. Being spiteful.
Dysmenorrhea: Anger at the self. Hatred of the body or of women.

E

Ear: Represents the capacity to hear. – Ache: Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Household arguing.
Eczema: Breath-taking antagonism. Mental eruptions.
Edema: What or who won’t you let go of?
Elbow: Represents changing directions and accepting new experiences.
Emphysema: Fear of taking in life. Not worthy of living.
Endometriosis: Insecurity, disappointment and frustration. Replacing self-love with sugar. Blamers.
Epilepsy: Sense of persecution. Rejection of life. A feeling of great struggle. Self-violence.
Epstein-Barr Virus: Pushing beyond one’s limits. Fear of not being good enough. Draining all inner support. Stress.
Eye: Represents the capacity to see clearly past, present, future. – Astigmatism: “I” trouble. Fear of really seeing the self. – Hyperopia: Fear of the present. – Myopia: Fear of the future.

F

Face: Represents what we show the world.
Fainting: Fear. Can’t cope. Blacking out.
Fat or Weight issues: Oversensitivity. Often represents fear and shows a need for protection. Fear may be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive. Running away from feelings. Insecurity, self-rejection and seeking fulfillment. – Arms: Anger at being denied love. – Belly: Anger at being denied nourishment. – Hips: Lumps of stubborn anger at the parents. – Thighs: Packed childhood anger. Often rage at the father.
Fatigue: Resistance, boredom. Lack of love for what one does.
Feet: Represent our understanding – of ourselves, of life, of others. – Foot Problems: Fear of the future and of not stepping forward in life.
Fever: Anger. Burning up.
Fibroid Tumors: Nursing a hurt from a partner. A blow to the feminine ego.
Fingers: Represent the details of life. – Thumb: Represents intellect and worry. – Index: Represents ego and fear. – Middle: Represents anger and sexuality. – Ring: Represents unions and grief. – Little: Represents the family and pretending.
Food Poisoning: Allowing others to take control. Feeling defenseless.
Frigidity: Fear. Denial of pleasure. A belief that sex is bad. Insensitive partners. Fear of father.
Fungus: Stagnating beliefs. Refusing to release the past. Letting the past rule today.

G

Gallstones: Bitterness. Hard thoughts. Condemning. Pride.
Gas: Gripping. Fear. Undigested ideas.
Gastritis: Prolonged uncertainty. A feeling of doom.
Genitals: Represent the masculine and feminine principles. Worry about not being good enough.
Gland Problems: Represent holding stations. Self-staring activity. Holding yourself back.
Gout: The need to dominate. Impatience, anger.
Glaucoma: Stony unforgiveness. Pressure from longstanding hurts. Overwhelmed by it all.
Gray Hair: Stress. A belief in pressure and strain.
Growths: Nursing those old hurts. Building resentments.
Gum Problems: Inability to back up decisions. Indecisive about life.

H

Hands: Hold and handle. Clutch and grip. Grasping and letting go. Caressing. Pinching. All ways of dealing with experiences.
Hay Fever: Emotional congestion. Fear of the calendar. A belief in persecution. Guilt.
Headaches: Invalidating the self. Self-criticism. Fear.
Heart: Represents the center of love and security. – Heart Attack: Squeezing all the joy out of the heart in favor of money or position. Feeling alone and scared. “I’m not good enough. I don’t do enough. I’ll never make it.” – Heart Problems: Longstanding emotional problems. Lack of joy. Hardening of the heart. Belief in strain and stress.
Heartburn: Fear. Fear. Fear. Clutching Fear.
Hemorrhoids: Fear of deadlines. Anger of the past. Afraid to let go. Feeling burdened.
Hepatitis: Resistance to change. Fear, anger, hatred. Liver is the seat of anger and rage.
Hernia: Ruptured relationships. Strain, burdens, incorrect creative expression.
Herpes Genitalis: Mass belief in sexual guilt and the need for punishment. Public shame. Belief in a punishing God. Rejection of the genitals.
Herpes Simplex: Bitter words left unspoken.
Hip: Carries the body in perfect balance. Major thrust in moving forward. Fear of going forward in major decisions. Nothing to move forward to.
Hives: Small, hidden fears. Mountains out of molehills.
Hodgkin’s Disease: Blame and a tremendous fear of not being good enough. A frantic race to prove one’s self until the blood has no substance left to support itself. The joy of life is forgotten in the race of acceptance.
Hyperactivity: Fear. Feeling pressured and frantic.
Hyperventilation: Fear. Resisting change. Not trusting the process.
Hypoglycemia: Overwhelmed by the burdens in life.

I

Impotence: Sexual pressure, tension, guilt. Social beliefs. Spite against a previous mate. Fear of mother.
Incontinence: Emotional overflow. Years of controlling emotions.
Indigestion: Gut-level fear, dread, anxiety. Griping and grunting.
Infection: Irritation, anger, annoyance.
Inflammation: Fear. Seeing red. Inflamed thinking. Anger and frustration about conditions you are looking at in your life.
Influenza: Response to mass negativity and beliefs. Fear. Belief in statistics.
Ingrown Toenail: Worry and guilt about your right to move forward.
Injuries: Anger at the self. Feeling guilty.
Insanity: Fleeing from the family. Escapism, withdrawal. Violent separation from life.
Insomnia: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Guilt.
Intestines: Represent assimilation and absorption.
Itching: Desires that go against the grain. Unsatisfied. Remorse. Itching to get out or get away.

J

Jaundice: Internal and external prejudice. Unbalanced reason.
Jaw Problems: Anger. Resentment. Desire for revenge.

K

Kidney Problems: Criticism, disappointment, failure. Shame. Reacting like a child.
Kidney Stones: Lumps of undissolved anger.
Knee: Represents pride and ego. Stubborn ego and pride. Inability to bend. Fear. Inflexibility. Won’t give in.

L

Laryngitis: So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.
Left Side of Body: Represents receptivity, taking in, feminine energy, women, the mother.
Leg: Carry us forward in life.
Liver: Seat of anger and primitive emotions. Chronic complaining. Justifying fault-finding to deceive yourself. Feeling bad.
Lockjaw: Anger. A desire to control. A refusal to express feelings.
Lump in the Throat: Fear. Not trusting the process of life.
Lung: The ability to take in life. Depression. Grief. Not feeling worthy of living life fully.
Lupus: A giving up. Better to die than stand up for one’s self. Anger and punishment.
Lymph Problems: A warning that the mind needs to be recentered on the essentials of life. Love and joy.

M

Malaria: Out of balance with nature and with life.
Menopause Problems: Fear of no longer being wanted. Fear of aging. Self-rejection. Not feeling good enough.
Menstrual Problems: Rejection of one’s femininity. Guilt, fear. Belief that the genitals are sinful or dirty.
Migraine Headaches: Dislike of being driven. Resisting the flow of life. Sexual fears.
Miscarriage: Fear of the future. Inappropriate timing.
Mononucleosis: Anger at not receiving love and appreciation. No longer caring for the self.
Motion Sickness: Fear. Bondage. Feeling of being trapped.
Mouth: Represents taking in of new ideas and nourishment. Set opinions. Closed mind. Incapacity to take in new ideas.
Multiple Sclerosis: Mental hardness, hard-heartedness, iron will, inflexibility.
Muscles: Resistance to new experiences. Muscles represent our ability to move in life.
Muscular Dystrophy: “It’s not worth growing up.”

N

Nails: Represent protection. – Nail Biting: Frustration. Eating away at the self. Spite of a parent.
Narcolepsy: Can’t cope. Extreme fear. Wanting to get away from it all. Not wanting to be here.
Nausea: Fear. Rejecting an idea or experience.
Neck: Represents flexibility. The ability to see what’s back there. Refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness, inflexibility. Unbending stubbornness.
Nephritis: Overreaction to disappointment and failure.
Nerves: Represent communication. Receptive reporters.
Nervous Breakdown: Self-centeredness. Jamming the channels of communication.
Nervousness: Fear, anxiety, struggle, rushing. Not trusting the process of life.
Neuralgia: Punishment for guilt. Anguish over communication.
Nodules: Resentment and frustration and hurt ego over career.
Nose: Represents self-recognition. – Nose Bleeds:A need for recobnition. Feeling unnoticed. Crying for love. – Runny Nose: Asking for help. Inner crying. – Stuffy Nose: Not recognizing the self-worth.
Numbness: Withholding love and consideration. Going dead mentally.

O

Osteomyelitis: Anger and frustration at the very structure of life. Feeling unsupported.
Osteoporosis: Feeling there is no support left in life. Mental pressures and tightness. Muscles can’t stretch. Loss of mental mobility.
Ovaries: Represent points of creation. Creativity.

PQ

Pain: Guilt. Guilt always seeks punishment.
Paralysis: Paralysing thoughts. Getting stuck. Terror leading to escape from a situation or person.
Pancreas: Represents the sweetness of life.
Pancreatitis: Rejection. Anger and frustration because life seems to have lost its sweetness.
Parasites: Giving power to others, letting them take over and life off of you.
Parkinson’s Disease: Fear and an intense desire to control everything and everyone.
Peptic Ulcer: Fear. A belief that you are not good enough. Anxious to please.
Phlebitis: Anger and frustration. Blaming others for the limitation and lack of joy in life.
Pimples: Small outbursts of anger.
Pituitary Gland: Represents the control center.
Pneumonia: Desperate. Tired of life. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal.
Poison Ivy: Allergy Feeling defenseless and open to attack.
Polio: Paralysing jealousy. A desire to stop someone.
Premenstrual Syndrome: Allowing confusion to reign. Giving power to outside influences. Rejection of the feminine processes.
Prostate: Represents the masculine principle. Mental fears weaken the masculinity. Giving up. Sexual pressure and guilt. Belief in aging.
Psoriasis: Fear of being hurt. Deadening the senses of the self. Refusing to accept responsibility for our own feelings.

R

Rash: Irritation over delays. Immature way to get attention.
Right Side of Body: Giving out, letting go, masculine energy, men, the father.
Ringworm: Allowing others to get under your skin. Not feeling good enough or clean enough.

S

Scabies: Infected thinking. Allowing others to get under your skin.
Sciatica: Being hypocritical. Fear of money and of the future.
Scleroderma: Protecting the self from life. Not trusting yourself to be there and to take care of yourself.
Scratches: Feeling life tears at you, that life is a rip off.
Senility: Returning to the so-called safety of childhood. Demanding care and attention. A form of control of those around you. Escapism.
Shin: Represents the standards of life. Breaking down ideals.
Shingles: Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Fear and tension. Too sensitive.
Sinus Problems: Irritation to one person, someone close.
Skin: Protects our individuality. Anxiety, fear. Old, buried things. I am being threatened.
Slipped Disc: Feeling totally unsupported by life. Indecisive.
Snoring: Stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns.
Solar Plexus: Gut reactions. Center of our intuitive power.
Sores: Unexpressed anger that settles in.
Spleen: Obsessions. Being obsessed about things.
Sprains: Anger and resistance. Not wanting to move in a certain direction in life.
Sterility: Fear and resistance to the process of life or not needing to go through the parenting experience.
Stiffness: Rigid, stiff thinking.
Stomach: Holds nourishment. Digests ideas. Dread. Fear of the new. Inability to assimilate the new.
Stroke: Giving up. Resistance. Rather die than change. Rejection of life.

Stuttering: Insecurity. Lack of self-expression. Not being allowed to cry.
Sty: Looking at life through angry eyes. Angry at someone.
Suicidal thoughts: See life only in black and white. Refusal to see another way out.

T

Teeth: Represent decisions. – Teeth Problems: Longstanding indecisiveness. Inability to break down ideas for analysis and decisions. – Root Canal: Can’t bite into anything anymore. Root beliefs being destroyed. – Impacted Wisdom Teeth: Not giving yourself mental space to create a firm foundation.
Throat: Avenue of expression. Channel of creativity. – Throat Problems: The inability to speak up for one’s self. Swallowed anger. Stifled creativity. Refusal to change. – Sore throat: Holding in angry words. Feeling unable to express the self.
Thrush: Anger over making the wrong decisions.
Thymus Gland: Feeling attacked by life. They are out to get me.
Thyroid Gland: Humiliation. I never get to do what I want to do. When is it going to be my turn. – Hyperthyroid: Rage at being left out.
Tics, Twitches: Fear. A feeling of being watched by others.
Tinnitus or Ringing in the Ears: Refusal to listen. Not hearing the inner voice. Stubbornness.
Toes: Represent the minor details of the future.
Tongue: Represents the ability to taste the pleasures of life with joy.
Tonsillitis: Fear. Repressed emotions. Stifled creativity.
Tuberculosis: Wasting away from selfishness. Possessive. Cruel thoughts. Revenge.

U

Urinary infections: Pissed off, usually at the opposite sex or a lover. Blaming others.
Uterus: Represents the home of creativity.

V

Vaginitis: Anger at a mate. Sexual guilt. Punishing the self.
Varicose Veins: Standing in a situation you hate. Discouragement. Feeling over-worked and overburdened.
Vitiligo: Feeling completely outside of things. Not belonging. Not one of the group.
Vomiting: Violent rejection of ideas. Fear of the new.

WXYZ

Warts: Little expressions of hate. Belief in ugliness. – Plantar Warts: Anger at the very basis of your understanding. Spreading frustration about the future.
Wrist: Represents movement and ease.

List of symptoms, compliments Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.