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When Everything Gets Harder, You’re Closer Than You Think

There is a moment in every meaningful life when it all feels like too much. Not just busy. Not just hard. But heavy in a way that sits in your chest and follows you into sleep. The kind of tired that doesn’t go away with rest. The kind of confusion where you’re not even sure what question to ask anymore. You’re carrying pressure, responsibility, disappointment, maybe grief, maybe betrayal, maybe fear about the future, and you’re quietly wondering if you can take one more step without something inside you giving out.

And if you’re anything like most people, you’re probably telling yourself that this means you’re failing. That you’ve reached your limit. That something has gone wrong. That you should be stronger, clearer, more resilient than this. But I want you to hear this clearly, because it matters more than you realize: this moment is not evidence that you are breaking. It is evidence that you are crossing something. You are standing at a threshold, an invisible line between who you have been and who you are becoming, and thresholds always feel disorienting before they feel empowering.

Here’s the part most people never get told. Right before anything expands, it compresses. It’s true everywhere in nature. Seeds split before they grow. Muscles tear before they strengthen. Carbon only becomes a diamond under pressure that feels unbearable. Human beings are no different. When your life starts to feel tight, chaotic, overwhelming, when things that used to work suddenly don’t, it’s often because the container you’ve been living in can no longer hold who you’re becoming.

And no, that doesn’t make the pain imaginary. It doesn’t mean you’re supposed to “think positive” or push through. It means there’s a reason the pressure has intensified, and it isn’t random.

There are forces in this world that don’t benefit from fully awake, self-directed, purpose-driven people. They don’t show up as villains. They don’t announce themselves. They don’t kick down your door. They whisper. They normalize exhaustion. They reward conformity. They call mediocrity “being realistic.” They label vision as arrogance and growth as selfishness. They operate through constant distraction, endless noise, information without wisdom, fear dressed up as responsibility, and social pressure to fit in instead of stand out.

And perhaps most effectively, they train you to turn against yourself. To second-guess your instincts. To water down your ideas. To apologize for wanting more. To keep your dreams reasonable, manageable, and non-threatening. Not because you’re weak, but because fully developed human potential is inconvenient to systems that rely on predictability and compliance.

So when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally depleted, disoriented, questioning your own strength, don’t immediately assume life is punishing you. Sometimes life is pressing on you because the old way of being no longer fits, and staying small is no longer an option.

If you’ve noticed that everything seems to be hitting at once, career instability, health challenges, relationship fractures, the loss of someone who anchored your old life, an intolerance for environments or people you once endured, and that’s not a coincidence. It’s often a signal that you’ve reached a non-negotiable turning point. Your old life cannot continue as it was, and your new life has not fully formed yet. That in-between space is uncomfortable by design. It strips away false certainty. It removes coping mechanisms that once worked. It forces honesty.

And right about here, resistance shows up. Not always as an external obstacle, but as a voice inside your head that suddenly gets louder. “Who do you think you are?” “Maybe now isn’t the right time.” “Other people have it worse.” “Just be grateful and stop pushing.” That voice sounds reasonable. Responsible, even. But that voice is not intuition. It’s conditioning. And its timing is revealing.

Pressure doesn’t intensify when you’re stagnant. It intensifies when you’re about to outgrow the structure you’ve been living inside. A person who thinks independently, questions authority, creates value instead of just consuming it, and lifts others simply by being who they are, that kind of person doesn’t fit neatly into systems built to manage and pacify. So the pressure increases right when your inner capacity is expanding, not to stop you, but to see whether you’ll collapse back into familiarity or cross forward into something truer.

Pay attention to when you feel like quitting. It’s rarely at the beginning, and it’s rarely when something is clearly impossible. It shows up when you’re close. When you’ve grown. When you can feel change approaching. When the old version of you can’t carry what the new version requires. That tension is not punishment. It’s an invitation. An invitation to let go of outdated identities, to stop shrinking in order to survive, to stop apologizing for your potential.

The world doesn’t need another exhausted conformist. It needs you fully expressed.

And here’s something else most people don’t like to admit: mediocrity isn’t always accidental. A world filled with conscious, self-directed, purpose-driven humans would buy less junk to numb themselves, tolerate lies less comfortably, accept abuse less readily, and demand integrity more consistently. So sometimes the goal isn’t to crush you. Sometimes it’s just to tire you out. To keep you busy but not fulfilled. Informed but not wise. Safe, but not fully alive.

When you approach a threshold like this, life itself joins in. It starts testing congruence. Are you living aligned with who you’re becoming? Are you willing to let go of what no longer fits? Can you stay conscious when comfort is removed? So life applies pressure… not to break you, but to reveal what’s no longer stable. That’s why temporary fixes stop working. That’s why distractions lose their power. That’s why doing “just enough” no longer satisfies you.

And this is the moment where most people wait for permission. Someone to tell them what to do. Someone to reassure them that it’s safe. But no one is coming, not because you’re alone, but because this moment belongs to you.

Right here, in the exhaustion, the confusion, the losses, the instability, you’re being offered something rare: a clean break from the life that no longer fits. Not a guarantee. Not a map. Not certainty. A choice.

You stop asking, “How do I get back to the way things were?” and you start asking, “Who am I becoming now that I can’t go back?” That question changes everything. This is where you stop negotiating with mediocrity. Where you stop explaining yourself to people committed to misunderstanding you. Where you stop shrinking your vision to keep fragile systems intact.

You don’t take the step forward because you feel ready. You take it because the cost of staying has become greater than the cost of moving on.

And action here doesn’t look dramatic. It’s quiet. Decisive. It might look like telling the truth you’ve been holding inside. Leaving what drains you even without a perfect plan. Choosing your health, your sanity, or your integrity over approval. Creating something honest instead of safe. Setting a boundary that costs comfort but restores self-respect. Committing to the path that keeps calling you, quietly, persistently, relentlessly.

You don’t fix everything at once. You take one irrevocable step that aligns your outer life with your inner knowing. And once you do, momentum takes over. Energy returns. Clarity sharpens. New allies appear. Not because the world suddenly became easier, but because you became congruent.

The people we remember best didn’t wait for calm. They didn’t wait for consensus. They didn’t wait for perfect timing. They moved when everything told them to stop, not because they were fearless, but because they were done living divided.

And whether you’re ready to hear it or not, this is your moment. Not tomorrow. Not after things settle down. Not when confidence arrives. Now.

Decide that you will not betray yourself to preserve comfort. That you will not return to what collapsed. That you will not apologize for evolving. That you will meet this moment consciously, willingly, and fully present.

You don’t need to see the whole path. Only the step that says, “I choose growth over fear. Truth over conformity. Becoming over belonging.”

That decision changes everything.

The threshold isn’t behind you. It’s beneath your feet. And the moment you step forward, life meets you there.

Take the step.

 

Why Should I Write a Book?

There are many reasons why you might like to write and publish a book. What motivates us to do so? Why should I write a book? Millions of people have thought about doing it, some of those have even started the process by getting a notebook or opening a fresh blank document on one of their devices and started jotting down notes or even started the writing process by creating a draft starting with chapter one. Why?

Probably the most prevalent motivation to write is to document some part of life that you have experienced that is worthy of being shared with others and for future generations to look back on, which may be of value to someone. One of the most important phrases that come up in any research or investigation is this,

If it wasn’t documented, it didn’t happen.

Life goes by so quickly, and the minutes tick by, moving us further away from those tragic or precious tragic moments, that if shared could greatly benefit others. In that sense, there may be nothing that is more important than to provide a reference point that may be hugely beneficial, even though it may not to seem terribly significant at the time.

Countless people have been impacted by the journaling of a 13-year-old who journaled about her thoughts and feelings during a time of great conflict. Though she only lived until she was 16-years-old, two years later, her memoirs were published. And though over 30 million copies have been sold, it has exponentially impacted the lives of so many more people and has become a reference for historians. Anne Frank and her story lives on, providing valuable insight of a moment in time that has long passed. Had she not been bold enough to write those words, we might never know what it might have been like to have been a young girl in Nazi occupied Holland in the early forties.

Still, Anne Frank’s Diary is only one document. It takes many documents to complete the full picture of anything. Likewise, your document could hold within its pages valuable insights that could help complete the picture for someone else.

It is common to second-guess yourself, like, “Nobody’s going to want to read my book,” or some other form of negative self-talk, and that can deliver the deathblow to most books that could have otherwise greatly impacted others. I really can’t think of any reason you should not write your book. It’s there. It longs to be documented. You and your story matter.

There are fewer challenges in publishing your book today than any other time in history. It is easier to publish your book today than ever before. So, now the only thing standing between you and getting your book into print, is you.

If you haven’t already written your book, the actual writing process can be overwhelming. If so, you’re probably making it more difficult by focusing on the overall scope of the project facing you. If the average length of a book is 50,000 words that can appear to be an impossible task, but if you write only 500 words every day, in 100 days, your book has been written.

Think about committing to writing your book, like journaling a little every day, and before you know it, you are ready to start the publishing process.

 

What Will You Choose Love or No Love?

Can one have true love that can last a lifetime? The answer is yes or no, depending on the choices that you make at specific points along your life’s journey, “What will you choose? Love or no love?”

What will you choose? Love or no love?

The choice is yours, and whatever choice you make determines whether you will live a life in love or with no love. This is not to say that choosing, “No love,” today will prevent you from choosing, “Love,” in the future, but it may mean missing your opportunity for big love, as those opportunities are so rare, so make your love choices wisely.

Be aware that what follows contains many contrasts so be prepared to see a lot of buts.

Love is not just a feeling, but it is an action. As we all know feelings come and go. Then there is commitment, but commitment without love is more like a prison. But choosing to take action to love, even if you may not be “feeling it” at the moment, oh, that is planting seeds of love to be harvested next season.

Also know that love comes from within, from within you. You can only feel the love you allow yourself to feel, and your feeling does not come from the object of your affection. Now, he or she may be intentionally sending you their love in so many ways, but you can only receive or feel the feeling of his or her love based on the love that you have to empower his or her love.

So, love starts with you. Any feeling that you ever feel about love, being in love, or not feeling loved comes from within you. You are fully responsible for the love you receive or feel. You, alone.

7 Ways to Choose Love or No Love

1 Trust and Respect

Often touted as the most important thing in a relationship, the ability to trust and be trusted, to respect and be respected, these ideas are they keys to love. Active lying or passive lying, like lying by omission, or being deceitful are definitely choices for no love. You may be able to feign love for a while without trust and respect, but not for long.

Try to remain open and honest, live with strength, honor, and integrity. If you slip and fall, don’t try to cover it up. Try to be forthcoming with any challenges that you might be having and by all means, choose love in your communication style with your loved one.

2 Communication Characteristics

If you are in the habit of either accusing your partner, being disrespectful of your partner or feeling that you must defend yourself when communicating with your partner, you are not choosing love. Choosing love in communication is speaking your truth but not in a negative way. Say what you need to say, but say it in a gentle, calm, respectful manner. And if you’re partner is trying to say something that might be difficult to communicate, encourage him or her to get it out. Be patient, understanding, and try to find some valuable message in what they are trying to say. Thank him or her for having the courage to come forward, and be brave enough to ask them if there is anything else that they might want to say? And if they have shared more, ask them, “Is there anything else?” Keep asking until they can’t think of anything else to say about it.

Don’t be surprised if they come up with something more to say later. Just be sure to remain nondefensively humble and as gracious as possible honoring the openness of their sharing with you. This is choosing love.

Being defensive, raising your voice, accusing your partner in retaliation, otherwise pitching a fit, walking out, or giving them the silent treatment is no love.

3 Seek to Fully Understand Your Partner

Since you are two different people with completely different backgrounds, you will see and communicate things differently, and something that you think you have communicated really specific and detailed may have been received completely differently than you intended because your partner is experiencing your communication through his or her perspective, from their own previous life story.

We all do this, and assume that we are correctly interpreting what someone is trying to tell us, but find out later that this wasn’t the case at all.

Seek clarification. Try feeding what you understand back to your partner in your own words to see if you are on track. If you are, your partner can explain. Being able to better understand your partner goes a long way in establishing a solid foundation for enduring love.

4 Physical Intimacy

Many problems arise in a relationship due to issues surrounding physical intimacy. Be aware that there is no wrong way to approach dealing with problems when they come to sex in a relationship. According to Dr. Eaton, the biggest problem in relationships is a mismatch in sexual hunger. If one of the partners is a nine on the scale of sexual hunger, and the other is, let’s say, a three, this is clearly a mismatch. But that doesn’t mean that you throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Try to find a compromise. Try sexual bargaining. Maybe there’s something your partner wants that is not even connected to sex that you can satisfy for him or her. This is choosing Love in your willingness to compromise. Note that your giving in the absence of authentic hunger is as enthusiastic as that thing that you want in exchange. If you choose Love, you are making a stand against the mundane or routine, so switch it up every once in a while. Be creative and have fun with this.

Nothing helps to strengthen a loving relationship more than a good sex life, though of course other areas of the relationship should be tended to equally. In this way, you are creating a balanced love that is fully sustainable over time.

5 To Love or Not Love Boundaries

Everyone has boundaries, and if they don’t, they should have. Hopefully, discussing boundaries takes place during the early stages of courtship, otherwise, you will see yourself trying to navigate a minefield in the middle of your relationship, never knowing when you will feel that “click” under your foot and find your partner in need of having a serious talk, which can be agonizing.

Just remember that this goes both ways. You must respect your partner’s boundaries just as much as you would expect him or her to respect yours.

6 Domination, Submission, or Manipulation

There is no love in a relationship where one partner dominates, demands submission, or manipulates the other partner. The relationship is not a weapon or tool, it is cooperation, or corporation, where both parties should be equally vested and have equal say and shares in said relationship.

Inequality and manipulation can show up in many ways from actively controlling, lording over, or even expressing violence or abuse, or it can be passive by shutting down, initiating the silent treatment, withholding sex, playing the victim, or disappearing to teach your partner a lesson.

Note: Physical abuse should never be tolerated.

7 Try Something New

The last thing you want is for your love to be boring, so switch it up. Try something new. Go to a new restaurant, take a dance class, get out of town and take a single overnight or weekend minivacation, go skydiving, whatever it is, do something new and different. This breathes the breath of new life into a relationship that might otherwise grow stale.

No Drama Please in Love Relationships

If you have been in a past relationship that had a lot of drama in it, you may have come to a place of unwillingness to accommodate any drama from anyone who may present themselves to you as a potential mate. No one is saying this is a good thing or a bad thing, it just is what it is. This is a form of protection for the sake of self-preservation.

If this applies to your circumstance, at some time in a potential courtship, you may notice one or more apparent inconsistencies which will sound off alarms in your heart and mind. Many a potentially loving relationship was cut short by an early warning detection system raising red flags, which can be found everywhere you look. (This is a natural neurological condition referred to as the reticular activating system or RAS for short.)

If this bit of neural psychology is correct, if you’ve been hurt by someone, you will have reviewed all the little clues that you missed that would have been apparent and available to you consciously had you been more aware or suspicious. In many cases, you miss these signs due to the surge of the hormone Oxytocin which causes rosy retrospection otherwise known as having donned rose-colored glasses.

This is to say, if you are in love, the red flags that may have alerted you to something being amiss were overlooked and misinterpreted as cute inconsistencies or eccentricities or seen as having little meaning or threat.

Upon review following a failed relationship, all these warning signs become painfully apparent which may lead to a condition called pistanthrophobia that presupposes that the victim will be unable to trust anyone who presents him or herself as a potential suitor or suitress.

You want to survive the next relationship, so you’re constantly reviewing the data you’ve processed and measure against your observations of your next potential mate, ever looking for clues that there is trouble amiss.

This is a necessary method of self-preservation. It’s what helps us survive and is a logical way to avoid another bad relationship. The downside?  Pistanthrophobia will likely sabotage all potential future relationships, because it can color normal abstract human behavior as threatening red flags. And the mind will go to great lengths to take the reigns of the imagination and build up cases against any potential romantic relationship on the flimsiest nuggets of misinformation.

This will have the unfortunate consequence of assuring failure after failure for romance for the seeker of true and lasting love, as unsubstantiated clues are met with Miss Interpretation leading to Red Flag Obsession.

Sufferers of pistanthrophobia will prematurely end a potential relationship with a positively loving individual who may display a moment of weakness or a slight misstep that sounds emergency alarms all over town in the life of the overly cautious and protective seeker of true and enduring love. The result? The extermination and loss of a true love potential.

What is the answer?

A qualified family therapist or relationship coach can help an earnest seeker of love, dig up the roots of love failures of the past, process the lessons learned, and move on securely in faith, trust, and true love, a love that starts with one’s self, then overflows into the hearts of others.

All those negative experiences?

Successfully harnessed can help lead you into the powerful love relationship you are looking for.

Don’t give up. Get help. Heal. Get strong. Open your heart, and let your love flow.

There’s a Pill for That

Medications to Prevent Free Thinking

No matter what you believe in, there are medications that will counteract your inclination to engage in such thought processes. If you so desire, at any time, you can be medicated to prevent you from obsessive thinking or believing things that do not serve you, so that you can live a “normal” life.

There are pharmaceutical drugs in the form of pills, injections, psychiatric re-programming techniques, and medical-surgical procedures to keep you from suffering from the effects of being in love, or grieving the loss of a loved one, so that you can get on with the living of life as a (nearly) normal person.

And for those who desire such relief, thank God it is there. For the rest of you, free thinkers a conspiracy looms in the distance.

There’s a Pill for That

If you are thinking that this (or anything else) might be a conspiracy, there’s a pill for that.

If your child is a bit too creative, inattentive, or is not easily managed, there is a pill for that.

If you’re too zealous about your religious endeavors, there’s a pill for that.

If you are resistant to the idea of supporting modern pharmacology, there’s a pill for that.

If you believe in angels or aliens, there’s a pill for that (same pill).

If you believe the government is watching and monitoring you (and you care about it), there’s a pill for that.

If you think you should have rights beyond those which are offered by the current administration, there’s a pill for that.

If you believe in natural healing, homeopathy, energy healing, laying on of hands, etc… there’s a pill for you, too.

There’s a bigfoot pill, a “hearing the voice of God” pill, a deep spiritual connection (with anyone or anything) pill, and if you’d do anything to help someone else who is unable to help themselves, there’s a pill for that, too.

Our society is getting ready for controlling the masses. Yes, you may have the right to “free speech” (although, from what I’ve seen lately, I’m beginning to wonder about that… and I know, there’s a pill for that, too) but increasingly, it looks like the government and medical institutions backed by pharmaceuticals are gearing up for “normalizing” the general population.

I get it. Our numbers are growing and a majority of us are calling out for being supported by the system, which would be nearly impossible to manage if we all were independent thinkers.

Agreeing to accept some degree of normality, will mean you get help, medical, food, housing allowance, a government stipend. But, if you “color outside the lines” you may risk being diagnosed with

Individuality Psychosis

If you are labeled as having some form of individuality psychosis, where will you be then?

Cut off.

And if you persist in your refusal to comply, there may be legal consequences for refusing.

So, you must be “normal.” What is normal?

Ask any public servant what normal is. He or she will answer, go to school, get a job, pay for rent and utilities, go to enough school and learn to be obedient and you could get a State-job, so you can drive a nicer car and buy a pretty good house with a white picket fence and garage with an extra fridge for beer and/or a wine cellar. Oh, and don’t forget a huge cable package and blistering-speed Internet.

And when you’ve served your time, you can have a little retirement to hold you over while you grow old, deteriorate, and get ready to make room for someone else.

It’s all a part of the “normal” cycle of life.

This system makes perfect sense, and those who have devised it, profit wildly from it.

But free thought is likened unto criminality, familial dysfunction, potential violence, and abuse.

To think for one’s self, to imagine yourself evolving to a higher state of being, would be considered as the same type of problems that would be presented by persistent rule-breakers, substance abusers, the unemployed, homeless people, and those who regularly engage in domestic violence.

Individuality breeds chaos, where anything could happen. It’s a problem.

How in the world could we ever manage a populace of freethinkers?

Impossible.

So, they create elaborate social structures to keep people thinking that they are free within the invisible walls which we keep them safely restrained within, and we make them think that because they have freedom of choice, to choose between two options, they are free.

But the world, the universe, is not limited in choices or options. If you were able to think freely, were allowed to grow, evolve, and expand in conscious awareness, you would know that options are limitless, and possibilities are infinitely endless.

But that would be crazy!

There’s a pill for that.

 

This Is Your Journey

You have this one life to live and you can choose to live your life, full-on, as your own, or you can live your life as defined by someone or something else, like a good little human. (I humbly apologize for the sarcastic overtones.)

You came here as an independent spirit in human form to experience a wide variety of life. Along with you, you brought certain talents, gifts, and special abilities, all to support your purpose and to enable you to best sing your song. Not that your song might be a melody to be sung with your voice, but more like your unique message to be shared by you will have an extraordinary perspective, look and feel, unique to you.

When you were young, you fully acknowledged, “I believe in the person I want to become,” to live this life in all its fullness. Since then, you may have forgotten this is your journey as you were swooped up and enveloped in someone else’s vision, and there’s a good chance most of (if not everything) you believe in is a lie.

There are forces that abound on this planet which would like to eliminate the inkling of a thought which you might entertain about having anything of significance to contribute to the world. So, they start programming you via social engineering to stamp out any hope of remembering your life’s purpose.

This programming is so effective, that your parents, caretakers, teachers, coworkers, family, and friends, are all under the spell of the powers that want to control you, and they are all trying to prevent your authentic, inspired self from emerging and making an impact. Of course, all this effort is heart-felt concern, as if to be looking out for your best interests.

You can’t really fault or blame people for exerting their beliefs in an effort to “save you from yourself” because they love you, and they so sincerely believe their efforts to prevent you from being who you really are will save you from pain, suffering, and utter disaster.

Live Your Life

The real you, the you that you were sent to this planet to be, is aching to be acknowledged and released. You hear that still small inner voice, that resides in the deepest part of you praying that you will be able to hear it among all the noise. It is sometimes so very hard to hear because it is buried so far beneath the loud inner voice of ego, which is easy to be manipulated and programmed by the powers and their social engineering.

And if that weren’t enough, your conscious mind is under constant attack of a barrage of distracting details, data, media, drama, and trauma, that you couldn’t find a gap in the space quiet enough to hear the voice of your true inner self.

Yet, you know it is there. You can feel it.

Even with all the efforts, supported by all the money and power in the world to suppress the real you, you know there is more to this life than what you’ve been allowed to think of or believe in. And apart of you longs to

Live Your Life

If you want to believe in a better life, you must be willing to assert, “I want to believe in myself,” and don’t believe everything you’ve been told. Take back your life. This is your journey and you’re in charge of you.

To live your life authentically and be true to yourself, consider creating some sacred space for you to tune in to who you really are. Getting in touch with you, “the you” you were meant to be, will take separation from the things in life which have been placed there to distract you and keep you in a state of trance, or panic.

Your feelings easily distract you, so find ways to reduce or eliminate (at least momentarily) any of the things in life that make you feel bad. Anything that makes you feel angry or sad, find ways to get these things out of your life, at least in the beginning. Later, once you are able to identify and connect with your true inner self, then you can find ways to disempower anything that might try to distract you from your purpose, message, passion, and/or mission (pmpm).

Don’t settle for mediocrity. Make a concerted effort to disassociate yourself from the mediocre life you’ve been programmed to accept for yourself. Take a look at all the programming which you have subjected yourself to which may not be supporting your authentic self. Things like bad habits which may not serve you, but are so effective at distracting you from the authentic frequency and vibration of the real you, that you may have physiological connections or dependency on these substances and/or activities keeping you even more separated from who you really are.

Now is the time to make some clean and pure psychological and physiological space for you to enable you to authentically connect to the real you, allowing you to truly live your life in a genuinely empowered and effective life, free from the social engineering and powers which desire your blind subservience.

As you learn more about what you really want in life, know this is your birthright. All the things you desire (when free from the programming, and some which you were drawn to while under the influence of the programming) are yours to be enjoyed in this lifetime. These desires would not have been placed in your heart of hearts, endearing you to them, if you were not called to enjoy them in their fullness.

All these things are waiting for you to have them and frolic fully in the joy of possessing them and/or living in the energy of them. It is on you to close the gap between where you ware and where you want to be, between what you have now and what you want to have.

Since all you want, and have ever wanted, has already been provided for you, all you have to do to close the gap is to align yourself with what you want and to remove anything which is blocking you from seeing it or having it. When nothing stands between you and what you want, and you are in the vibration of whatever it is, you find yourself in the fullness of it.

Doing a little something-something every day moves you closer and closer to what you want, enabling you to live your life authentically and abundantly.

Ask yourself, “Who am I?” Who can I be? Who have I been called to be and what is my message?

Only you can discover the answers to these questions for yourself.

Be open and prepared for evolutionary changes within yourself, which will affect not only you but the world around you.

This is your life. Start living your own life today.

Join Us ~ Share Your Message
and Shout it from the Rooftops

For years I’ve been shouting, “Achieve your highest and best,” and, “Live a better life,” and lately, I’ve been adding, “And make the world a better place,” because those of us who are doing the work, can’t do it alone. If these things resonate with you, then I encourage you to contact me and let’s find a way to light the path, so that you, too, can help carry the torch for others who are lost in the darkness.

If you’ve recently experienced an awakening, and you’re seeing this life for what it is, unveiled and exposed to your consciousness for the first time, it’s easy to get over-enthusiastic about spreading the word to others who cannot see it clearly, as you are beginning to do.

If you already haven’t figured it out, I would caution against this. As you may have already figured out, by experience, society has built into it a self-policing subconscious trigger, and when you suggest that things may not be as they seem, this trigger is tripped, and any socially-programmed individual will try to fervently correct you, and place you safely back in the fold. It is a knee-jerk reaction to a lifetime of programming, and this is so ingrained, that they feel obligated to do so as if their very life depended on it.

In many cases, someone gets a glimpse of what’s behind the veil, they share it with someone they know and trust, and BAM! They get attacked, ridiculed, called a fool, threatened with mental illness diagnosis, exile, or imprisonment. It’s no surprise when they slip back into the life they were programmed to live since birth. This is the only way to feel supported by one’s family and peers, there’s a sense of safety and security there. This social structure is very effective and every bit as real as any prison, only better; because it’s invisible and only exists in the mind.

But if you are somewhat stealthy, you can exist among your family and peers, while becoming more aware, expanding and evolving without much trouble. Still, there remains an urge inside you to share what you are learning, which is what we all want to do but be careful.

Early believers have had this problem when getting excited about sharing their faith with others, and there are many religious passages warning believers that non-believers will not be able to hear them, nor understand them. It’s as if the non-believers speak a different language and are unable to understand what you are trying to say. So, believers are instructed not to waste your efforts on those who are incapable of hearing what you are saying.

But, then the texts go on to refer to those who are not only willing to listen to you but an open, yearning and looking for the truth of the words that you long to share. These people represent the fertile soil waiting for your nurturing and will be part of the garden you will cultivate, which is part of your mission.

The urge to share what you’re learning and to be able to grow among others who are like-minded is very natural and may very well be a part of your calling (and it probably is, or else you wouldn’t feel so compelled).

Likewise, those of us who are doing the work, making the sacrifices, taking the risks and sharing our message; we, too are looking for individuals who would like to join us in spreading the word.

So, if that is you, and you are feeling this enthusiasm about joining the unveiling brigade of truth, then, by all means, find someone you resonate with and join the team. Don’t be embarrassed about not feeling good enough, worthy enough, talented enough, or any of those other programs running in the background designed to keep your ideals hidden away and never shared.

Don’t let your voice be silenced. God gave you a voice and a mission. You came to this planet with a divine assignment, and it’s up to you to take hold of it, embrace it and share it.

Find someone you resonate with (it doesn’t have to be me) and reach out to him or her. Send an email, a text, a letter by snail mail, or smoke signals… reach out and let them know you have a message. We are always looking for others who are willing to stand up and share the message of growing awareness, expansion, and evolution.

And if your first attempt appears to not be as good a fit as you thought, then find someone else you resonate with and offer to team up with that person. Keep doing this until you find someone, and if your message is so unique, that it’s difficult to find someone to team up with; no problem. Go it alone, and look for others who will be attracted to you and your message.

Do not be silent.

The world’s best symphonies are buried six feet under, never to be heard, because they did not exercise their gift and deliver their message to the world.

This is your time to share your mission with your voice.

Tell your story.

Difficult People and How to Handle Them

Learning to deal with difficult people is like learning a foreign language.  It’s well, shall we say, difficult? But as challenging as it is to develop fluency in conflict situations, it’s just as hard, if not harder, to learn to detach yourself emotionally from the outcome.

It helps to think about it this way: drama is a childhood phenomenon.  So whenever you are faced with hysteria, irrational thinking or out-of-control emotions, know that there is simply a child in the room – a fully-grown adult child, but a child nonetheless.

See, underneath difficult personalities there is an unhealthy, undeveloped, unsatisfied ego who is acting out. Since these egos are remnants of childhood, normal, rational thinking does not apply.  They live to ensnare you into their reality when something has happened to make them feel insecure.  But, it’s a time warp.  Do not go! If you do, you’ll end up mired in another person’s emotional environment that is rooted in the past.

Of course, not being privy to that past, you have no idea how the person is allowing his or her ego to distort the present.  All you can do is manage it from your perspective the best you can.  The key is to stay steady and not get drawn in.

Easier said than done, I know.

Chances are, if you’ve been in the workforce for any amount of time, you have crossed paths with some of these ego-laden “characters.”   Here are some things you can do to help manage the conversation and the person to whom you are trying to talk.

The Ticking Time Bombs

Think Tasmanian devil. These folks are volatile, inconsistent, and unpredictable. They fly off the handle easily and feel empowered by making others walk on eggshells. They stifle free dialogue by shutting other people down, and they kill the possibility of having productive conversations by breeding insecurity in their relationships.

  • The Tyrant rants and raves and makes no sense.
  • The Ogre is grumpy and unpleasant and snaps for no reason.
  • The Bully derives pleasure from pushing other people around.
  • The Loose Cannon is quiet and pent up but abusive when set off.

How to Deal:

Weather the storm. Remain calm no matter what.  If you ever heard a story about what to do should you find yourself face-to-face with a lion in the wilderness, you know your only chance at survival is to stare it down, eye-to-eye, and remain still until it is convinced by your lack of fear that you are not the perfect prey.

What to Say:

“Whoa, hold on,” and then don’t be afraid to ask the Ticking Time Bomb to simply stop. Request that he or she refrain from snapping, bullying, abusing, ranting, raving, etc. . .  State that you don’t do well under attack and that you would like the conversation to progress in a mutually respectful way.

Don’t make it harder than it has to be. On many occasions, I have said to people who felt the need to push me around, “Please don’t bully me. I don’t like it.” It works!

The Centers of the Universe

These people have a bad case of me, myself and I myopia. They only see themselves and have a distorted view of their own importance in the world. Communicating with them effectively is a challenge because they don’t listen, unless, of course, you are feeding their egos, which is more about them. They filter what they want to hear, taking what feeds their egos and rejecting anything that doesn’t fit into their delusion that the world revolves around them.

  • The Narcissist cannot tolerate being wrong and brings an unreasonable sense of entitlement to conversations and self-focus to relationships.
  • The Power Monger is interested in compensating for his or her own feelings of weakness and inferiority by acquiring power through status, people, and things to feel more important.
  • The Control Freak needs to control not only conversations but people, too, in order to feel good about him or herself.
  • The Intimidator wants to establish his or her superiority, often by instilling fear so that others won’t speak up.

How to Deal:

Don’t take the bait. Centers of the Universe will have you as twisted as they are in no time if you play into the game that they are playing with themselves. Stay on track and do not allow yourself to be reduced.

What to Say:

Nothing. Ignore the bravado, and don’t engage in their histrionics – just stick to the facts.

The Buzz Kills

These guys and gals are negative, negative, negative! They refuse to explore alternative possibilities or open their minds. They obstruct important dialogue from occurring because they are stuck in a world of small-mindedness.

  • The Naysayer says that everything won’t work and is not interested in anything new and/or improved.
  • The Know-It-All always has to be right and thinks he or she knows how things will turn out regardless of whether it’s true or not.
  • The Curmudgeon is ill-tempered, full of resentment, and stubborn.
  • The Ignoramus is not open to suggestions from others and is not open, period.

How to Deal:

Ask questions. Every time a Buzz Kill tries to put the kibosh on something, try to find out why he or she feels the need to choose failure over success before even trying.

What to Say:

“Why must you put a damper on everything?” Point out how their pessimism is grounded in nothing substantive and that whether they know it or not, they’re making everything harder than it has to be, including trying to have a conversation.

The Slippery Sly Ones

Watch out for this group. They are underground operators. They undermine healthy dialogue and erode trust by feigning authenticity and operating under false pretense.

  • The Dissembler conceals the facts and his or her true intentions.
  • The Skulk is evasive and shirks responsibility.
  • The Conniver schemes, lies, and cheats to get ahead, all the while making pretend to be on the same side you are on.
  • The Manipulator bends the truth, twists words, and hides his or her motives as a means to serve his or her own end.

How to Deal:

Call them out on it. You have to, because when the ego knows you see it, it has nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. By merely revealing your awareness of its presence, you will often shame that part of the Slippery Sly Ones into minding its manners.

What to Say:

“Something doesn’t add up here.” Or, you could say something like, “This does not feel kosher . . . or cool . . . or copacetic . . . or right.”  Remember, it is perfectly acceptable to tell someone what you think and how you feel.

The Suck-Ups

We’ve all known our fair share of these. It’s their insincerity that makes it so difficult to communicate with them. They’ll “yes” you to death in lieu of having a meaningful conversation.

  • The Blowhard is stuck on him or herself and full of useless self-serving jabber.
  • The Sycophant seeks favor by flattering people.
  • The Brownnoser is motivated by approval and goes out of his/her way to impress those he or she deems important.

How to Deal:

Make it clear that you would prefer not to have a conversation that consists only of agreement and accord.

What to Say:

“Please stop. . . .” Point out that they don’t need to work so hard to look good and that it is infringing on your ability to move forward with them in the conversation.

The Oblivious

This bunch is really out there. They exist in their own reality, which is unrecognizable to almost everyone else. The problem is that real issues aren’t addressed while they detract from the clarity needed for constructive conversations.

  • The Dreamer is not only not in reality, but in denial most of the time, too.
  • The Flake has trouble connecting what he or she says with what he or she does, and as a result, conversations with him/her seem as though they never happened.
  • The Drama Queen blows everything out of proportion and creates drama for attention.

How to Deal:

Have the conversation and cross your fingers that the Oblivious “get it.” Give it your best shot and document everything that is said because when it comes up again, the Obliviouswill have no idea what you’re talking about.

What to Say:

“Snap out of it.” You can ask them to try to step out of their own reality and face the facts as they are, but don’t hold your breath.  All you can do is try.

The Juveniles

These kids trapped in adult bodies are more draining than a marathon. They sap energy, waste time, and turn the workplace into a day-care center.

  • The Blamer never accepts responsibility for even the smallest, stupidest things and finds reasons to blame someone else.
  • The Whiner complains all the time about how everything but he or she is the problem.
  • The Excuser makes excuses for everything and is automatically defensive.
  • The Spoiled Brat pouts to get attention.
  • The Gossip stirs up trouble and wastes time being concerned with other people’s business.

How to Deal:

Point out specifically what is juvenile about their behavior. The best thing to do is express your amazement that such behavior exists in a professional, adult, work environment.

What to Say:

Tell them point-blank how unbecoming and inappropriate their behavior is.

The preceding is a reprint of an article featured in Psychology Today by  Author of Surviving Dreaded Conversations, Donna Flagg, who said it better than I could have. Stretch your mind and your body by visiting Donna’s site at Lastics.com

Are You a Being or a Bot In the Video Game of Life?

If we’re all living in one big video game, as Elon Musk believes, might it be helpful to know which people we interact with are “real?” (Real meaning that they are authentic beings hooked up to a machine, not unlike a virtual reality video game.) And might it be to your advantage to be able to identify those which are just computer-generated models or bots, which appear to be real, but are really “fake?” (Fake meaning there is no actual live being living the experience on the other side.)

Are You a Being or a Bot In the Video Game of Life?

The best players in the video game of life contend there are clues to whether a being with whom we interact in this virtual world (which seems very real) are connected beings or computer game simulations.

Characteristics of Real Beings

The characteristics of real beings living in this virtual reality world are different from those generated by the “system” which runs this massive simulated life experience. The people, like you and me, who are off-grid somewhere hooked up to the machinery for the experience share the following qualities:

They look out for others, possess a high degree of compassion, care more about their fellow man, and other participants in the game, such as animals, and the environment which shapes the world we live in. They want to contribute to making the game even better for other players.

In terms of influence, the real beings are less compelled to impress or seek approval from others. They’re fairly confident about who they are in this game and don’t need to be supported by others to have a sense of value for their lives. If their mission in life leads them to the stage, they do so in humility, if not reluctantly, and have no intrinsic need to be the center of attention.

Real players find comfort in quiet time, solitary moments, and relaxation to restore and recharge themselves and are humble because they really have nothing to prove.

If you’re real, you’re often found being that way. For instance, if you have a problem with someone, you can talk to that person face-to-face, express your concerns to see if you can work anything out, or make sense of something you don’t understand.

Integrity is important to the real players in the video game of life. They have a high sense of honor which has them wanting to be true to themselves and others. They will expend extra effort to keep their promises and to do the right thing, regardless of how they feel, or unforeseen circumstances. They are dependable and keep their word.

You will find real live life game players uplifting and acknowledge others for a job well done, or an enthusiastic effort, even if someone has fallen short of their intended mark. We understand everyone’s just doing the best they can (including ourselves), and applaud those why try their best.

The motivation for real beings is grounded in the greater good, so they often can be found helping and supporting others in the game of life. They desire to see and help as many other players as possible have the most success, joy, love, and living out the best game for them in this life, even if they get nothing in return for their support.

Characteristics of Game-Generated Bots

The computer/game-generated bots with whom we share the video game of life are just as real as we are, though they do not have a person connected to them, like us. They can be identified by the following characteristics:

They see themselves as being better than others (especially players hooked to the machine, like us). They lack respect for the players but tend to align themselves with sources of power to influence their standing within the game. Therefore, if you are in an influential position within the game, while you wield this power, they will feign support, alignment, friendship, love, and acceptance, to draw upon (and possibly drain) your power to improve their position in the game.

Bots are always looking for acceptance of others, seeking to validate their existence. They can be found exerting a great deal of effort to be accepted by others, and have no qualms about lying or being dishonest in their attempts to create value in their lives, essentially by “fooling” others (and themselves) into believing they are real.

Bots are anxious, unsettled, and are constantly on the lookout for ways to advance their position in the game, desirous to be in the spotlight. They will seek entertainment, excitement, and finding new ways to have access to others to extract life force and gain points in the game. In a meeting, if they are not in front of the room, or on stage, they will seek to get as close as possible or exert their superiority or excellence in some way. They find it difficult to relax but will pretend to relax with someone else, if they think it will potentially increase their position in the game.

Contrasting the humility of real players, bots find it necessary to brag and boast about their experiences, performance, achievements, possessions, or position. They believe this will attract “followers” in order to increase their value or influence.

Bots have no inclination to keep it real (because it’s not) and they have no problem talking behind others’ backs and spreading unsubstantiated rumors. Plus, they think the putting down of others, gives themselves an even greater sense of superiority.

The bots in the game of life are likely to tell you whatever you want to hear and make promises they never intend to keep. It’s hard to trust a bot due to their track record of not following through while possessing a litany of likely (or unlikely) excuses for not keeping their end of the bargain.

Bots could care less about what you’re doing but may look at recognizing or rewarding your efforts for a job well done as a way to manipulate you or persuade you to follow him or her. They are also prone to criticism or putting someone down for not doing better, especially if it makes them look or feel superior.

When a bot does something good, he or she has to announce it to the world. Since they are only motivated to advancing their position in the game, they will only do something to help someone else in the game, if it will add power or influence to their overall strategy and accumulate points. Otherwise, you’re on your own.

Non-compatibility in Relationships

What are you looking for in an authentic, loving, romantic partner?

You might be surprised to find out what you’re really looking for is the love that you feel like you didn’t receive from your (usually opposite sex) parent, and on a deeper level the love we seek is that akin to the love we felt prior to being born.

On the surface, a quick overview of your search for love and the people you align yourself with might have you thinking you’re always attracting the wrong kind or person, that people change after you get to know them better, and that you often discover that while you thought you had so much in common in the beginning, the two of you are complete opposites.

Your friends might try to console you with, “Not to worry. It’s just that your picker is broken,” reinforcing the idea that you unbeknownst to you are unconsciously selecting bad apples from the barrel.

But,

What if…?

What if everything is in divine order and the type of person you’re attracted is exactly the type of person you need in your life to complete your personal cycle of love, to heal from the love seeking you did as a child, and to evolve into a far greater lover, expanding your horizons and moving to the next level of enlightened love?

What if the people you’re attracting, who appear to be completely incompatible are actually the perfect person you need in your life to bring out the very best in you?

And if this were true, you would be the same for him or her, just as they are for you; the key to unlock your highest and best.

Emotional wounds from childhood leave you wanting the love you failed to receive in your youth in adulthood. You don’t know why you’re attracting someone similar to your parents but this is exactly what you need to make it right, heal those old wounds, to receive the love that you desire and deserve.

In this present age, we focus so much on compatibility, which is terribly convenient in exercising a relationship where the value of growth and change seems difficult or like too much work to bother with. The more alike you are, easier it is to get along, live together and appreciate each other.

It sounds like a dream come true compared to your past experiences where you’ve thought that you were with the wrong person and just could not find a way to make it work out for you or your partner, and if you could, the cost would just be too great.

True love, the love that comes from above, dwells within us but it is hidden beneath a cloud of bad feelings, let downs, and life experiences through which we could barely know it is there, if at all.

You try so hard to love in an authentic way, the way you long to be loved, but you feel unworthy, are confident that you will fall short, so you sabotage your relationship, allow it to fail, in an effort to keep yourself safe from exposing too much of yourself, as an act of self-preservation. This disengagement is a source of great anxiety within you.

Love’s connection with another person is a part of who we are. This connection one-to-another in an authentic intimate relationship is what we seek as we try to recapture the pure love we felt prior to birth. To be suddenly aware of the separation and unable to make it work, could leave one feeling as though true love is not possible.

If it is your destiny to find this evasive love, and if it is the only reason you have come here to live your life on this planet, then you might even think that life itself may not be worth living at all.

In this way, life and love are deeply embedded in us as humans. It is difficult to separate one from the other (though many of us choose to maintain this separation, ignoring the true love component our life’s work).

In human form, there is no way to manifest the original true connected love we experienced prior to birth but we can come very close if we are willing to learn and grow, leaving behind the shadows from our past and move on into the light of love.

Unless you settle for compatibility as your only criteria for selecting your life mate, you will continue to be offered the opportunity to meet the exact type of people who can assist you on this sacred journey of love and life.

Time and Memorial

Time goes on, and you love and you experience loss. It’s all a part of the grand design of this life’s experience. We attach ourselves to people who we admire or love. People who have greatly impacted our lives in ways they could never know or imagine.

These are the distant heroes of our lives. They are religious icons, celebrities, musicians, performance artists, artists, actors, business and wealth leaders, and a host of people who may be beyond arm’s length, yet they inspire us to do better, achieve more or build a fire inside us to offer something more to the world that has blessed us with this gift of life.

Then, when you least expect it, the person who has been such an inspiration to you, ends their physical journey on the very earth you may have shared with them. And you experience a sense of loss.

You may experience a great sense of loss and be affected in the most incredible way, as if you experienced the grief of the loss of a close friend or loved one, even though you may have never met this person face to face, or did not have a two-way long-term relationship. Still, you feel the pain of separation and realize that any hope of sharing an experience or creating something in the future with that person could never be.

Then, as you get older, you see your relatives and friends start to leave this physical plane, and you grieve their loss.

Then, on days, like today, we honor those who have lost their lives in military service. As honorable as this is, to volunteer for military service so that the rest of us can stay at home and enjoy the fruits of our American freedoms, is commendable, to say the least.

A few years ago, I had a son who volunteered for such a command in military service. I watched him take his vow of service, and I was as proud as a father could be. Even though he pledged to give his life in service if necessary, both he and I were certain that the odds were in his favor.

How could we have known that on the first 4th of July following his enlistment, he would be fatally wounded in a Taliban attack in Afghanistan?

We, his mother and I, talked to him on the phone the evening of July 3rd, and he was so alive… He called many friends and relatives that evening. Only a few hours later, there was the ominous knock on our door by a pair of full-dressed military officials delivering the news.

No parent should have to bury their own son or daughter, ever. In that moment, Aaron’s mother and I joined the families that lost a family while in military service as well as parents who would have to lay one of their children to rest.

It is the worst possible pain, yet even in the sacrifice of young PFC Aaron Fairbairn, he leaves behind a legacy that immortalizes his life, sacrifice and service among the many heroes who had fallen before him and those who will fall henceforth.

In our memories of all who are remembered for their deeds on earth, we honor them, celebrate their life and preserve their memory, extending the impact on our lives and the lives of others when we remember them. In this way we invite them to live in us and through us even though their days were numbered.

Sometimes, people you have loved so dearly, more dearly than you could ever dare to admit, suddenly leave, and any sense of loss that you might have may not be deemed socially acceptable. This is referred to as disenfranchised grief, and you are certainly entitled to your grief, though it may be a process of solitude, making your own way, in private, without the emotional support of family and friends.

But that’s okay. We all do the best we can with what we have.

Love, live and honor those who are no longer with us.

Celebrate their lives and add love, value, and longevity to their lives by extending in in your own.