be true to yourself

No Such Thing as a Lie

When someone lies to you, if you feel as though someone has hit you in the stomach or stabbed you in the back, you’ve bought into the lie which asserts that there is such a thing as a lie. What if there is no such thing as a lie?

The idea of promoting the idea that there are lies, and that there are fewer crimes more offensive than lying, is the single most effective tool used against us to keep us fully separated from each other.

This obsession over the difference between truth and lies keeps us at war with each other and keeps us constantly on the defensive, ever wondering, “Who will lie to you next?”

This begins and perpetuates the endless cycle of looking for lies, and as you know, you will always find whatever it is you are looking for. If you are looking for lies, you will find them everywhere you look.

What if there was no such thing as a lie?

What if everything anyone says (in spoken word or print) actually is true one hundred percent of the time?

This is the essence of my Truth Continuum which purports that everything is truth. If history teaches us anything it is that everything which has been widely accepted as truth is subject to change and that one person’s truth can vary wildly from that of someone else.

Truth is subjective. And if truth is subject to influence and personal interpretation, then the antithesis, lies, must also be subjective. Which puts these concepts on par with each other, for if someone’s truth is another person’s lie, they are one and the same; all within the Truth Continuum.

As much as you might like to assert your truth is based on facts or sound science, we know that these things are not as black and white as we might like to believe.

Truth more adequately stated might be, “The truth as I see it,” which reasonably must allow for the truth of others as, “The truth as you see it.” Therefore, all truth, past, present, and future (including other dimensions and places in time and space) resides within the truth continuum.

Lies are a little trickier because there are two kinds of lies, the lies which are contradictory to one’s perceived truth (these may reside within the truth continuum), and lies which are purposefully spun in an effort to deceive someone or to avoid some potentially undesirable consequence (excluded from the truth continuum).

To express a lie which is known to the deliverer to not be true in an effort to deceive may be spun in such a way as to be believable or potentially true is a lie which has no truth within it, even though there may be truths hidden within the details of it, to make it appear to credible or truthful.

Lying with intentional deceit is not the same as declaring something that is believed to be true but may not be perceived by others to be true.

The possibility exists that many of the popular beliefs purported by social engineers and leaders of certain factions may have intentionally spun to deceive a particular populace but with the intention to benefit the purveyors of the lie or the greater part of the population.

Those who use lies to control people may have concocted the most masterful lies with no truth present as a method to manipulate peoples, and even so, because these lies have been believed to be truth by someone, these ideas can also be found in the truth continuum.

So, what if someone lies to you intentionally to deceive you?

Ask yourself, “Does it matter?”

If you can wrap your mind around the idea that people just are, and you honor their ability to be who they are, to say what they say, without judgment, maybe what they say to you, even if intended to defraud you in some way, doesn’t really matter.

This is your life, and you can manage it any way you see fit.

Think about being an unconditional lover who believes in the idea that everyone has the same rights as you to be right or believed, no matter what.

Consider having the courage to believe there is no such thing as a lie, and to say, “I love you no matter what you say, no matter what you do.”

If there were no such thing as a lie, you could easily stay in the frequency of love’s vibration and your countenance would be unshakeable.

When Someone Calls You a Liar

What can you do when someone calls you a liar? That’s a tough question and one of the most difficult situations between two people. You have told the truth, whoever you’ve told it to doesn’t believe you, and to make matters worse, you’ve been called a liar.

Few situations are more painful than being called a liar, especially when you know you’ve told the truth. It can feel like an attack on your character, a dismissal of your integrity, and a deeply personal betrayal. But what can you do when someone refuses to believe you? How do you handle such a difficult and emotionally charged encounter?

Stand Firm in Your Truth

The most important thing to remember is this: if you’ve told the truth, you’ve done your part. You are not obligated to defend yourself to someone who doubts your honesty. In fact, trying to prove your truthfulness often makes matters worse.

When someone believes you are lying, no amount of evidence or insistence can change their mind. Their mistrust likely stems from their own experiences, insecurities, or biases—things beyond your control. Arguing or pleading only gives them more reason (in their mind) to doubt you. Sometimes, your attempts to stand up for yourself are twisted into “proof” of dishonesty.

Instead of engaging in a futile battle, speak your truth clearly and calmly, and then let it be. Trust that your integrity speaks for itself, regardless of whether others recognize it.

Their Doubts Are Not About You

It’s vital to understand that someone’s mistrust often says more about them than it does about you. People carry their own histories, fears, and unresolved issues, which can cloud their ability to trust. If someone falsely accuses you of lying, it may be less about your actions and more about their inner struggles.

While their words can hurt—sometimes deeply—you don’t have to internalize their accusations. Their inability to trust is not your responsibility to fix, nor should it dictate your actions.

The Danger of Changing Your Truth

In the face of persistent accusations, you may feel tempted to alter your story just to stop the abuse. After all, what harm could it do to give in? Surely, it’s better than enduring their relentless interrogation. But changing your truth for the sake of appeasement comes at a great cost.

When you bend to someone’s insistence that you are dishonest, you sacrifice a piece of your integrity. Worse, the person will never truly trust you. By confirming their false belief, you reinforce their mistrust, perpetuating a cycle that could haunt your relationship indefinitely.

Stay true to your word. Even when it feels easier to compromise, know that standing firm in your truth protects your integrity and honors your authentic self.

When Accusations Escalate

Unfortunately, some accusations can spiral out of control. Our society, while structured around systems of justice, is far from perfect. Legal systems can be manipulated by those who know how to wield them for personal gain or vengeance. Such individuals may be driven by a sense of self-righteousness, unresolved inner turmoil, or the desire to dominate others.

If you find yourself facing unjust accusations in such circumstances, it’s critical to stay grounded. Speak your truth, but recognize that the battle may not be winnable through force or argument. Sometimes, the best course of action is to step away, protect your energy, and focus on living your truth with dignity.

Choosing Love Over Conflict

When faced with conflict, you always have a choice: to fight or to rise above. Many battles—especially those rooted in personal differences or misunderstandings—aren’t worth the toll they take on your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Interestingly, when you refuse to engage defensively and instead remain in the vibration of love, new paths often reveal themselves. Staying calm, centered, and open to love allows you to see solutions that might otherwise remain hidden in the heat of the moment.

This approach doesn’t mean you condone harmful behavior or accept injustice. It means you prioritize your peace and integrity over the need to prove someone else wrong. You transcend the conflict and move toward a higher state of being—one defined by love, honor, and authenticity.

A Larger Perspective

The pain of being falsely accused is not unique to you; it’s part of the human experience. Wars have been fought, relationships shattered, and lives wasted over differences in belief and perception. But these conflicts only persist when people choose to fight instead of seeking understanding and love.

If we, as individuals, can commit to living in love and truth, we have the power to change the world. Even in its imperfections, this world offers us an opportunity to grow, evolve, and pave the way for future generations. Every act of love, no matter how small, contributes to a better, more compassionate world.

The Power of Love

In the face of doubt, accusations, or conflict, choose love. Love for yourself, love for others—even those who accuse you—and love for the truth that lives within you.

Stay true to your word and your integrity. Let go of the need to be understood or validated by those who doubt you. Trust that your truth will stand on its own, and let love guide your actions.

The world may not be perfect, but love is the most powerful force for good. By choosing love over conflict, you not only honor yourself but also contribute to the healing and evolution of humanity.

What is the Best Spiritual Journey?

As a spiritual coach, people often ask me, “What is the best spiritual journey?” Compassionately translated, it might read, What religion, brand-of-thought, or style of living might be the best path to follow?

If you’ve asked that question, you have a way to go, yet.

Think about your spiritual journey just as you would any other trip you might take. Let’s say you’re in Seattle and you want to go to New York. There are so many roads which can be travelled between those two locations, the question is how do you want to get there?

Many people want the fast-track, so they stay to the highways and get there as quickly as possible, maybe staying the night in one or two locations along the way, some driving straight through, while others take an RV and as many side roads as possible, enjoying the scenic route.

Of course, you can plan and execute your own spiritual journey any way that is the best for you. We’re all different and we all experience our lives in unique and different ways (at least we should). So, to ask anyone what is the best path to take doesn’t really make any sense.

You can ask me about the path that I took, or you could study the path that someone else took, but you must take your own path, even risk creating a new trail through terrain which may not have been travelled before (or lately).

Your spiritual journey is not a race, nor a competition, and you never reach a finish line. There will be monumental moments when you feel like you’ve reached the pinnacle, and these moments are to be savored and celebrated. After a moment of settling into this new, expanded energy, you will see another peak in the horizon.

Or, you can find a comfortable place and settle in for the remainder of your years, if that is what is best for you.

There is no right way. There is no wrong way. There is only your way, and your way will be unlike anyone else’s way.

Sure, you can receive input from others, query them, and see what piques your interest, dabble in a particular thought pattern or belief system for a while to see how it resonates with you. There is no harm in that. Who knows, it may lead to a major unexpected leg of your journey.

And don’t be afraid of changing your destination, or taking trips along the way that may seem like they’re taking you in a different direction. All your trips along your journey add to the quality of this life.

There may be treacherous terrain to be crossed, you may meet challenge, drama, and pain along the way. You are likely to encounter situations and circumstances which you could not have anticipated or prepared for. Not to worry. No mistakes can be made, as long as you keep moving.

There is no judgment for you here.

You might find yourself in Orlando, when you originally thought you were headed to New York, but your journey will have been rich and full of life, and you will have tales to tell. Tales which will have eager eyes trained on you as you tell of your travels around the campfire, eager to hear each and every detail.

Most people don’t get to live a life like the life you are living.

What is the best spiritual journey?

You are a spiritual being, on a spiritual journey and your journey is the best spiritual journey for you.

You are your spiritual journey.

(And there is no way you can do it wrong.)

When you’re getting an idea of who you are, not the you you’ve been programmed to accept but the you that came to this planet with a clear purpose, message, passion, and mission, you are in the process of defining your unique and individual self and you want to be true to yourself, the you that you are becoming.

You are knowing your truth (which may change periodically as you continue to grow and expand in your own personal evolution), have a desire to achieve your highest and best, want to live a better life, your best life, make the world a better place, and have a strong compulsion to be true to yourself.

“To thine own self be true”
~ Wm Shakespeare

While being true to yourself seems simple enough on the surface, beneath and deep within yourself this sense of congruence can look like so many things depending on where you are on your personal journey.

You know you’re being true to yourself when you’re feeling good about who you are. You really like the you that you are becoming and are starting to love yourself for who you are.

That voice inside your head which badgered you with different forms of negative self-talk is fading away into the dark void as your self-confidence rises to match the acceptance of your divine mission.

Understanding that communication is the key to delivering your own unique message, you are finding new and better ways to express yourself and speak your truth without offending the people you are trying to effectively communicate with.

You’re not having to maintain different personalities for different work, social, friend and family situations. You can represent your self as yourself without having to compromise, impress anyone, or care about what anyone else thinks, and you’re feeling good about it.

You are living a more centered and congruent life and are able to manage life’s situations, circumstances, and unforeseen obstacles which may arise, without the panic or sense of helplessness that you may have once felt in the past.

There is a simple ease for finding places of peace and joy in all things, decision-making comes without confusion or conflict, and you are more able to exercise your daily feats with accuracy, a high level of precision and performance.

All this is true for you when you are being true to yourself.

To be true to yourself you can give up the activities which no longer serve your new, more expanded self.

You no longer feel the need to kowtow to others, so you don’t need to play games anymore. You don’t need to manipulate, fear someone might be trying to manipulate you, or even feel like having to laugh falsely regarding an off-color joke or remark which conflicts with your alignment.

Remember when you felt a sense of guilt or compulsory obligation to agree with someone, or compliment someone who really didn’t deserve it out of fear of not being liked, loved, or regarded as a nice person? You don’t do that anymore.

Misrepresenting or compromising your authentic self is no longer an option, and now, the idea of it seems not only incongruent, but feels like hypocrisy, or lying. In fact, you’re realizing, you can be totally honest, never needing to lie again, not even to spare someone’s feelings, because now you are finding ways to agree to disagree without lying or compromising, without dishonoring someone else’s right to maintain their own opinion, even if it contrasts your own.

Your openness and honesty empower you to be who you are, in all your strength and in your weakness, without having to make apologies if you’re experiencing a moment when you’re not on your game 100 percent. You’re allowed to have a bad day, or a less than peak moment, without having to apologize to yourself or anyone else.

Militaristically forcing yourself to do the things that you need to do to get to where you want to be in a devil-may-care, take no prisoners-type attitude no longer serves you. You are finding new, more positive, ways to find the motivation to do the things that serve you on the way to achieving your highest and best.

You don’t have to compromise your integrity anymore, not when you can be true to yourself.