Tag: deceptive

Deception by Omission

Everyone lies, it’s a basic mechanism we use to get through life with some sense of decorum. Then there are those who are involved in deception with malicious intent or ill-gotten gains. The craftiest of these swindlers engage in deception by omission, then deny any wrongdoing because they didn’t actually engage in lying, they just failed to include some of the pertinent details.

It’s no accident that these details went undisclosed, it was meant to purposefully deceive you, and to prevent you from having access to the truth, then deny all responsibility of deceit by claiming that no deceit has taken place because no one lied. You just did not have all the information. No crime. No foul.

In terms of trust and betrayal, you cannot trust someone who engages in deception by omission. It is a cunning misdirection and intentional withholding is no accident.

Even with the best of intentions, we leave out certain details out of fear. The fear of being caught, punished, made to feel guilty, or because we let someone down and cause someone’s feelings to be hurt. Even so, if you’re leaving out details that would have otherwise been more honest, you are lying.

For those with malicious intent, they lie by omission to manipulate, defraud, do harm, protect themselves, avoid accountability, or to appeal to your more sensitive capabilities causing you to let down your guard. No matter what they call it, or how they try to justify it, they are being dishonest and lying to you by omission.

Practicing deception of any kind, either by outright lying or practicing deception by omission, actually does more harm to the deceiver than you might expect. If you are otherwise a good person attempting to live a good life, the act of deceiving others in any fashion will cost you in your overall health score.

Unless you are a psychopath or pathological liar, these little indiscretions cause stress in the body which builds in magnitude and severely compromises your immune system. It takes a great deal of energy to manage deception and lies. This is a waste of energy which would be better used to sustain life, not to cause its deterioration.

Lying also creates an underlying frequency of paranoia for those who are trying to cover their tracks, often wondering if their true colors will ever be been shown or will they one day be held responsible for their deception.

The act of deceiving others lowers your emotional frequency and keeps your mind in the lower vibrational environments which breed fewer positive thoughts and responses overall. This will tend to attract less positive life circumstances to appear more frequently in your life.

Deception by omission promotes a lack of trust in your inner circle. Even of those who aren’t actually a party to your deception by omission. They will always wonder when and if you might be practicing deception by omission on them, even if you never do.

Once a betrayal of trust has taken place, there is little that can be done to repair the damage, except to be totally honest and trustworthy for long enough a period of time that the offending party can start to trust you once again. The amount of time necessary to regain someone’s trust depends on the person who has been deceived.

No Such Thing as a Lie

When someone lies to you, if you feel as though someone has hit you in the stomach or stabbed you in the back, you’ve bought into the lie which asserts that there is such a thing as a lie. What if there is no such thing as a lie?

The idea of promoting the idea that there are lies, and that there are fewer crimes more offensive than lying, is the single most effective tool used against us to keep us fully separated from each other.

This obsession over the difference between truth and lies keeps us at war with each other and keeps us constantly on the defensive, ever wondering, “Who will lie to you next?”

This begins and perpetuates the endless cycle of looking for lies, and as you know, you will always find whatever it is you are looking for. If you are looking for lies, you will find them everywhere you look.

What if there was no such thing as a lie?

What if everything anyone says (in spoken word or print) actually is true one hundred percent of the time?

This is the essence of my Truth Continuum which purports that everything is truth. If history teaches us anything it is that everything which has been widely accepted as truth is subject to change and that one person’s truth can vary wildly from that of someone else.

Truth is subjective. And if truth is subject to influence and personal interpretation, then the antithesis, lies, must also be subjective. Which puts these concepts on par with each other, for if someone’s truth is another person’s lie, they are one and the same; all within the Truth Continuum.

As much as you might like to assert your truth is based on facts or sound science, we know that these things are not as black and white as we might like to believe.

Truth more adequately stated might be, “The truth as I see it,” which reasonably must allow for the truth of others as, “The truth as you see it.” Therefore, all truth, past, present, and future (including other dimensions and places in time and space) resides within the truth continuum.

Lies are a little trickier because there are two kinds of lies, the lies which are contradictory to one’s perceived truth (these may reside within the truth continuum), and lies which are purposefully spun in an effort to deceive someone or to avoid some potentially undesirable consequence (excluded from the truth continuum).

To express a lie which is known to the deliverer to not be true in an effort to deceive may be spun in such a way as to be believable or potentially true is a lie which has no truth within it, even though there may be truths hidden within the details of it, to make it appear to credible or truthful.

Lying with intentional deceit is not the same as declaring something that is believed to be true but may not be perceived by others to be true.

The possibility exists that many of the popular beliefs purported by social engineers and leaders of certain factions may have intentionally spun to deceive a particular populace but with the intention to benefit the purveyors of the lie or the greater part of the population.

Those who use lies to control people may have concocted the most masterful lies with no truth present as a method to manipulate peoples, and even so, because these lies have been believed to be truth by someone, these ideas can also be found in the truth continuum.

So, what if someone lies to you intentionally to deceive you?

Ask yourself, “Does it matter?”

If you can wrap your mind around the idea that people just are, and you honor their ability to be who they are, to say what they say, without judgment, maybe what they say to you, even if intended to defraud you in some way, doesn’t really matter.

This is your life, and you can manage it any way you see fit.

Think about being an unconditional lover who believes in the idea that everyone has the same rights as you to be right or believed, no matter what.

Consider having the courage to believe there is no such thing as a lie, and to say, “I love you no matter what you say, no matter what you do.”

If there were no such thing as a lie, you could easily stay in the frequency of love’s vibration and your countenance would be unshakeable.

Is Withholding the Truth the Same as Blatantly Lying to You?

The act of withholding the truth is a controversial topic, with debates over whether it should be considered a form of lying or not. Some assert that it is merely a strategic data omission and not an outright lie, while others say that withholding information is a lie of omission.

The Psychology of Withholding the Truth

For the average liar, withholding the truth may serve as a tactical maneuver to avoid the guilt associated with direct lies. By omitting crucial details, individuals may convince themselves that they are not actively engaging in bold-faced deceit. Psychologists often refer to this behavior as a rationalization, a self-protective mechanism that enables individuals to reconcile their actions with their own moral compass.

Pathological liars, in particular, may frequently resort to this tactic, justifying their actions by emphasizing what they did not say rather than what they did say. However, the question remains: Can withholding the truth truly be separated from the concept of lying?

The Moral Implications

The Catholic Church, along with various moral and ethical frameworks, takes a firm stance on the issue of withholding the truth. From a moral perspective, the act of intentionally omitting crucial information is considered deceptive and contrary to principles of honesty and transparency,  a venial sin according to Catholicism. Many argue that by withholding information, individuals are manipulating the truth, leading to potential harm or misunderstanding.

In the eyes of morality, the intent behind withholding the truth matters significantly. If the intention is to mislead or deceive, regardless of the means employed, it can be viewed as a breach of trust and a departure from ethical conduct.

Legal Perspectives

The legal system also weighs in on the question of whether withholding the truth is tantamount to lying. In various jurisdictions, the act of withholding information can have legal consequences, particularly when it comes to contracts, agreements, and legal obligations. Courts often recognize the importance of full disclosure to ensure fairness and justice.

One notable legal concept is the duty to disclose, which is a legal obligation requiring parties to reveal all material facts relevant to a transaction. Failure to fulfill this duty can result in legal repercussions, emphasizing the significance of transparency in legal matters.

Examples

To illustrate the blurred lines between withholding the truth and lying, consider the scenario of a job interview. An applicant might withhold information about a past employment termination, arguing that they were not explicitly asked about it. While they might not have told a direct lie, the omission of such a crucial detail could be deemed deceptive by the employer.

In a legal context, a seller withholding information about defects in a property during a real estate transaction could lead to legal consequences. The buyer may argue that the seller’s failure to disclose materially affected their decision, thus constituting a form of deception.

Withholding in the Name of Love

There are situations where withholding information can be motivated by compassion or an act of love. In certain contexts, the decision to withhold details may be guided by the desire to protect someone emotionally or physically, maintain their well-being, or uphold a greater good. Here are a few scenarios where compassionate withholding of the truth might be considered justifiable:

Protecting from Harm:

Example: A doctor may choose not to disclose the full severity of a patient’s condition if revealing it could cause extreme distress without offering any actionable steps for improvement. This is often seen in cases of terminal illnesses, where the focus is on preserving the patient’s emotional state.
Preserving Emotional Well-being:

Example: Parents might decide not to share certain family struggles or financial difficulties with their children to shield them from unnecessary stress. This compassionate act is driven by the intention to maintain a positive and stable environment for the well-being of the family.
Surprise or Gift Planning:

Example: Planning a surprise party or gift involves withholding information temporarily. This is done to enhance the joy and excitement of the recipient, demonstrating that withholding can be an act of love aimed at creating positive and memorable experiences.
Personal Relationships:

Example: In certain situations, individuals may choose not to disclose past mistakes or regrets to their partners if doing so would cause undue pain and not contribute constructively to the relationship. The intention is to protect the emotional connection rather than deceive maliciously.
Children and Sensitive Information:

Example: Parents may withhold certain details about difficult family situations or personal hardships from their young children until they are old enough to understand and cope with the information. This is often done to shield them from unnecessary emotional burdens.
It’s important to note that the justification for withholding information in these cases lies in the intention to prioritize the well-being and emotional health of the individuals involved. Compassionate withholding is not synonymous with deceit, as the underlying motivation is rooted in care and consideration for the feelings and mental state of others.

However, it’s crucial to strike a balance and recognize that openness and honesty are generally valued in relationships. In some cases, the decision to withhold information may need to be reassessed over time, and communication should be encouraged when the timing is right.

So, is Withholding the Truth Lying?

In conclusion, the question of whether withholding the truth is a lie involves a complex interplay of moral, psychological, and legal considerations. While some may attempt to rationalize this behavior as a strategy to avoid outright lies, both moral and legal frameworks emphasize the importance of transparency and full disclosure. The implications of withholding information, intentional or not, should not be underestimated, as they can have far-reaching consequences in personal relationships, professional settings, and legal proceedings.

 

What Are You Hiding?

I have had the privilege of having people confide in me, telling me their deepest, darkest secrets. I know what the “official story” is about a great many things, and I have heard the truth behind the headlines directly from the sources. I have also been massively deceived by a sociopath, the greatest keeper of secrets, only to find out the truth at great expense.

One particular psychopath with whom I’d become acquainted with who was referred to by prosecutors as inherently evil and claimed himself to be a pathological liar could wield lies like his identifying superpower. With a keen ability to defraud, counterfeit, and masquerade, he enjoyed false careers as everything from an airline pilot, attorney, mental health counselor, therapist, investment banker, real estate, precious metals, and Wall Street broker, just to name a few.

The psychopath was the embodiment of the phrase, “If his lips are moving, he’s lying,” (according to one Chief Investigator) as he committed a wide variety of crimes while bilking unsuspecting widows, and vulnerable adults, among a long list of other types of victims, left wounded, alone, and penniless. Lying, he claimed, was his form of exercising his First Amendment right to free speech, which he was entitled to by constitutional law.

Being proficient at lying is not relegated to narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, pathological liars, or evil people.

As much as we’d like to say, “I could never lie, like that,” the truth is all of us, including you and me, lie all day long, every day of our lives, albeit without any malicious intent.

What are you hiding?

You are deceptive, hide the truth, and lie every day; we all do. It’s a standard human basic survival skill.

You’ve learned from a very early age, generally two years old, that telling the truth does not serve your best interests. It usually starts with you being sent to your room or otherwise punished by a parent (or parental figure) for honestly fessing up to something that your parent(s) disapproved of. So, you learned to lie and have perfected the craft over time.

You learned to lie (just like we all did) to avoid punishment, disapproval, or pain, and to make life easier to manage, to make friends, to advance in careers or society, and to be attractive to others, especially romantic partners. Leaving you wondering why lovers lie?

Other reasons for lying include getting what you want, to be recognized, establish and maintain an image, to garner attention or sympathy, and to find out if someone else is lying or trustworthy.

No matter how much you know someone, how close you are to anyone, you can’t tell what’s going on inside someone else’s head, it’s just not possible. Just like no one can tell what’s going on inside your head, and you do the best you can to present yourself as the person you believe yourself to be, even if it means lying.

Those of us who might be on the autism spectrum are probably the worst liars (by that, I mean, not very believable when lying and lie the least), but the rest of us are fairly competent at lying.

The fact is, the whole world, the three-dimensional world that we all inhabit, is entirely an illusion of belief systems which are hardly based on truth, but on lies, we’re programmed to believe as truths, and we believe them so much, that we would defend them with our lives.

If we live, we live a lie to the best of our abilities, where we are surrounded by lies, but most of us do it with the best intentions.

How to Tell When Someone is Lying

In all areas of life, it is likely that you will run into an individual who is less than honest. There are so many ways for people to deceive, cheat, lie and steal, and if you’re not diligently paying attention, you might be swindled or betrayed by someone you’d considered as trustworthy.

This is not permission to go over the edge and be paranoid or adopting the extreme thought pattern that, “everyone’s out to get me,” only to be aware enough of your surroundings to be looking for clues that someone might be trying to put one over on you.

For a proficient or pathological liar, their ability to confidently state an all-out lie is unparalleled, so these tells may not be effective in getting to the truth from a cleverly deceptive liar. But other, “normal,” people will express some behaviors because they are not comfortable when lying.

Uncovering Deceit Expose the Liars

Being aware means getting to know someone well enough to establish their baseline behavior in a normal non-threatening conversation. If you don’t know how a person acts like when their engaged in conversation about something they interested in, when they would have no interest in being deceitful, you do not have enough information to notice a change in their behavior, which is your first clue that something might be awry.

Body language will likely change when someone is being deceptive. If in a normal conversation, he or she looks you in the eye and his or her body faces you straight on, and in the present conversation, they are not making eye contact, or their body is now at a 45 degree angle, that could be an indication that something’s up.

Someone’s facial expression, or eye movement which is different from their normal pattern of communication could also indicate someone is being less than honest and open, or intentionally hiding something.

Yes means yes, and no means no. If you’ve asked a simple yes or no question and the person you’ve asked answers with a long drawn out story, and can’t seem to settle on a yes or no conclusion, this is a clear indication of deceit or coverup. If you want the truth, you might want to ask this person, “Is that a yes, or a no?”

If you notice some inconsistencies in someone’s delivery, it could be connected to some other life experience which would trigger a signal which could be interpreted as a sign of someone’s deceit. If you really want to get down to what’s going on (and risk getting too personal) you might want to ask more questions and drill down to make a better determination whether this person is lying to you, or if he or she connected your question to a life experience in their past, which caused him or her to react differently.

When you’ve completed your conversation, gathered whatever information they’ve had to tell you, and you’ve confirmed that he or she has nothing more to say, then watch their reaction when you ask them if everything they’ve told you is true.
This is another simple yes or no answer. An honest person may admit to some inconsistency or add information that was purposefully left out at this point, which after allowing them to speak their piece would indicate the need to ask again if that was everything, and if they are telling the truth, leaving you waiting again for a simple yes or no answer.

A deceptive person will dance all around “Yes,” or, “No,” citing all kinds of irrelevant information and/or confusing details, and once you’ve received your simple yes or no answer, you might be brazen enough to follow up with the infamous, “Why should I believe you?”

Again, if their reply is over the top, emotionally charged, or they offer up a liturgy of character references, appalled that you might challenge them in such a manner, it could be an indication that they are being deceptive or withholding important information or details.

While brief and incomplete, hopefully these key signals indicating that someone’s not being honest and open with you will help you in determining if you’re dealing with a deceptive person, or an otherwise honest person who is not being completely forthcoming.

Good luck.

Don’t get paranoid, but be aware.