breach of trust | David M Masters

Blindsided By Their Ability to Say One Thing and Do Another?

Have you ever been blindsided by someone who had the uncanny ability to say one thing and do another, to say all the right things, looking you in the eye with sincerity, making promises or declarations that touched your soul—only to watch their actions contradict entirely every word? If so, you are not alone. The shock of this kind of betrayal can feel like the ground shifting beneath your feet. It’s confusing. Disorienting. And it cuts deep.

It’s okay to feel angry. Hurt. Even foolish. You trusted. You believed. You wanted to see the best in someone. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

Why Does It Hurt So Much?

Because words have power. We build our hopes, our expectations, and sometimes our very identities on the things people tell us—especially those we love or admire. When those words dissolve into lies or indifference, it’s natural to feel like we’ve been played or discarded. It’s one thing to make a mistake or have a misunderstanding—it’s another thing entirely to be deceived.

But what do we do with that pain? How do we move forward when the betrayal doesn’t make sense?

Let’s explore a few possibilities.

Option 1: Take a Stroll in Their Shoes

Before we jump to conclusions, consider this: What if their inconsistency isn’t intentional malice but a reflection of deep inner conflict? Some people have spent their entire lives learning how to survive—not how to love, trust, or show up with integrity.

Ask yourself:

- What kind of childhood might they have endured?
- Were they raised in chaos or constant criticism?
- Have they ever had an example of what healthy love looks like?

Sometimes, people say what they think they should say, without knowing how to follow through. Their words are echoes of what they wish they could be—not a blueprint of who they truly are.

This doesn’t excuse their behavior. It doesn’t mean you should tolerate being hurt. But it does offer a softer lens—one that allows for understanding, and maybe even compassion, from a safe distance.

This kind of person isn’t evil. They’re wounded. And their inconsistency may be more about their survival mechanisms than a targeted attack on your heart.

Option 2: Spotting the Predators

But then again… maybe not.

Some people do manipulate. Some people do lie, gaslight, and deliberately distort reality for their own gain. These are the narcissists, sociopaths, and—at the far end of the spectrum—psychopaths. They walk among us, often charming, confident, and convincing.

So, how can you tell the difference?

Signs of a wounded but redeemable person:

- They express genuine remorse when confronted.
- Their actions, over time, reflect growth.
- They try to make amends, even if awkwardly.
- They’re open to therapy, insight, or accountability.

Signs of a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath:

- They deny wrongdoing and shift the blame onto you.
- They lie with ease, often denying things you know happened.
- They show no empathy for your pain.
- They repeat harmful behaviors without change.
- They make you question your sanity—this is gaslighting.
- You feel drained, confused, or constantly “off” around them.

If that’s what you’re dealing with, your next steps must be protective, not compassionate.

Protect Yourself, Either Way

Whether the person is broken or predatory, the outcome is the same: you are being harmed. You are confused, off-kilter, and perhaps doubting yourself. That’s not okay.

Here’s what you can do:

1. Pause and Reflect. Write down exactly what happened—what was said, what was done. Clarity is power.
2. Talk to Someone You Trust. Don’t isolate. Seek wise counsel. A therapist, coach, or grounded friend can help you sort out what’s real.
3. Protect Your Peace. Sometimes that means limiting contact, creating boundaries, or walking away altogether.
4. Forgive for You, Not for Them. Forgiveness doesn’t mean re-entry. It means you’re choosing to let go of the poison they left behind so you can heal.
5. Trust Yourself Again. Just because you were fooled doesn’t mean you’re foolish. You trusted. That’s a beautiful thing. With time, you’ll learn how to trust wiser—but don’t lose the beautiful heart that beats inside you.

Whether the person in question is struggling with unhealed trauma or is an expert manipulator, you are not powerless. You get to choose how you respond. You get to decide how much access they have to your heart, your time, and your sacred energy.

And as painful as this experience may be, it can also be a gateway to incredible growth, insight, and self-love.

So take a deep breath. Stand in your truth. You’re not crazy. You’re awakening.

And that’s where your healing begins.

Trust Betrayal and Your Journey of Healing & Personal Growth

Betrayal can affect anyone, regardless of how successful or resilient they might seem. According to the author, who works with high-achieving individuals from diverse backgrounds, the pain of betrayal is particularly deep for those who love, live, and give wholeheartedly. When trust is broken, even the healthiest progression can be derailed, leaving a person mired in confusion and dismay.

Drawing upon a series of personal hardships, the author has developed numerous strategies and techniques to help individuals heal from emotional trauma. By sharing this expertise with clients, the author has seen how these methods can guide people through the heartbreak of betrayal and lead them toward renewed hope, strength, and a richer understanding of life.

Different Expectations in Relationships

Every person maintains relationships of various types—familial, professional, romantic—and each relationship experiences highs and lows. While some individuals anticipate that any relationship can end at any moment, others believe unconditionally in the permanence of their bonds.

The “Pessimist” or “Realist”

Certain people label themselves realists, convinced that relationships are fundamentally fragile. If betrayal occurs, they will be disappointed but not devastated. Believing that all relationships are bound to fail eventually, they tend to wonder more about the cause rather than feeling blindsided by shock.

The “Hopeless Romantic”

In contrast, some hold an unwavering belief that their romantic bond is destined to last a lifetime—or even beyond. If such a relationship disintegrates, they often experience profound emotional turmoil. Struggling to reconcile how their once-ideal connection could unravel, they feel deeply distressed and question how they could have failed to see any warning signs. Their unwavering trust makes the betrayal especially painful.

A Personal Approach to Healing

The techniques the author offers may not be suitable for everyone. This particular system relies heavily on an individual’s willingness to harness the power of the mind to heal and grow. In extreme cases, seeking professional help or medication might be necessary. Still, the central decision remains: “I will not allow this betrayal to dictate my future or destroy the life I envisioned.”

The author’s goal is to help anyone who feels overwhelmed by betrayal regain a sense of agency and clarity. Rather than letting despair cripple progress, the principles here encourage forward momentum and renewed purpose.

Understanding the Scope of Betrayal

Betrayal does not occur exclusively in romantic relationships. It can emerge from family members, mentors, teachers, friends, employers, or even cherished pets—though that may present a different type of hurt. The deeper the bond, the more severe the impact of broken trust. In response to betrayal, the brain often develops new neural pathways to protect against future pain, much like learning to avoid touching a hot oven pan without protection.

Some individuals respond by isolating themselves, vowing never to be vulnerable again. This might bring temporary relief but can also shut them out from the rewards of genuine human connection. Over time, self-imposed emotional distancing can stifle personal growth and prevent the formation of meaningful relationships.

The “Default Setting” of Trust

For many, including the author’s clients, trusting people is a natural inclination. Such openness can foster positive energy, drawing in individuals who appreciate sincerity and optimism. However, it also leaves one susceptible to profound hurt when someone proves unworthy of that trust.

The challenge lies in balancing an open heart with the need for self-protection. Completely rejecting trust to avoid future pain can halt the flow of positive experiences and opportunities. On the other hand, trusting recklessly may invite repeated disappointment.

Moving Forward with Confidence

By the conclusion of this process (or after reading the author’s book), readers should have a framework for cultivating healthy, fulfilling, and secure relationships. This approach emphasizes:

1. Self-Awareness: Identifying emotional triggers and understanding personal patterns of trust.
2. Healthy Boundaries: Establishing clear lines for what is acceptable and what is not, without succumbing to constant skepticism.
3. Healing and Release: Acknowledging and working through pain instead of allowing it to linger unaddressed.
4. Positive Engagement: Renewing the intrinsic sense of optimism in a thoughtful manner that attracts like-minded people and experiences.
5. Inner Resilience: Using past betrayals as catalysts for personal growth rather than letting them become justifications for perpetual doubt.

Ultimately, overcoming betrayal centers on reclaiming personal power and deciding how to interact with the world moving forward. While there is no universal solution, each individual can steer the direction of their own life. Betrayal does not define a person; instead, it can serve as a gateway to deeper strength, empathy, and untapped potential.

Life flourishes on connection, positivity, and shared trust. After a betrayal, it is natural to question one’s own judgment or the goodness of others. Yet this painful experience can also unlock greater insights, compassion, and conviction about the relationships one forges in the future.

The author’s hope is that anyone coping with betrayal will emerge not only healed, but transformed—gaining insight and courage while preserving or reigniting their capacity for love. Those who are inclined to trust others wholeheartedly need not let betrayal extinguish that spirit. Rather, they can learn to protect and cultivate this openness, allowing their inherent faith in humanity or a higher power to guide them toward more rewarding, deeply connected experiences.

For more information, see: Trust Betrayal, Dealing with breach of trust, healing, and learn how to trust again

How Can I Recover from Being Betrayed By Someone I Trusted?!

Betrayal is a wound that cuts deep, especially from someone you love or trust—a lover, friend, relative, or co-worker. When someone breaks a promise that holds significant meaning, the resulting pain can feel overwhelming, leaving you feeling victimized, hurt, and perhaps even lost. However, I believe that every experience, even the most painful ones, offers an opportunity for growth and a deeper understanding of our spiritual journey.

The first step in healing is acknowledging the depth of your pain. Allow yourself to fully feel the emotions that arise—anger, sadness, confusion, and even despair. Bottling up these feelings or pretending they don’t exist can only prolong your suffering. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of trust and the broken promise. In this process, remember that your emotions are valid and necessary for your healing.

Every event in our lives serves a purpose, even the painful ones. While seeing the good in betrayal might be challenging, try to view the incident as a catalyst for personal and spiritual growth. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this experience? How can this challenge help me grow closer to my true self and God?

Reframing the incident as a spiritual lesson, you shift from being a victim to actively participating in your healing. This doesn’t mean justifying or excusing the betrayal but finding meaning and purpose in your response to it.

Forgiveness is central to faith, yet it’s often misunderstood. Forgiving someone who has wronged you does not mean condoning their actions or minimizing the hurt they’ve caused. Instead, it’s about releasing yourself from the burden of anger, resentment, and bitterness. Radical forgiveness goes beyond traditional notions of forgiveness; it involves recognizing that the person who betrayed you is also on their own spiritual journey, with their own wounds and challenges.

Begin by acknowledging the pain they’ve caused, then consciously choose to release that pain. This can be done through prayer, meditation, or simply a heartfelt intention. Ask for God’s help in forgiving, knowing that forgiveness is a process and may take time.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to allow them back into your life in the same way. Setting healthy boundaries is important to protect your emotional and spiritual well-being. This might mean limiting contact with the person or redefining the nature of your relationship. Boundaries are not about punishment but about self-care and honoring your worth.

Leaning on your faith can provide immense comfort and strength in times of betrayal. Engage in spiritual practices that help you feel connected to God and to your inner wisdom. These might include prayer, meditation, reading Scripture, volunteering, or spending time in nature. Surround yourself with positive influences—people, books, and environments that uplift your spirit.

Consider incorporating practices such as visualization or affirmations to reinforce your healing. Visualize yourself surrounded by God’s love and light, and affirm that you are worthy of trust, love, and respect.

Healing from betrayal is not something you have to do alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, spiritual advisor, or coach who can offer guidance and support. Sometimes, sharing your story and receiving compassionate feedback can be incredibly healing. A supportive community can also help you gain perspective and remind you that you are not alone in your struggles.

As you heal, remember that love and compassion are powerful tools in your spiritual arsenal. Extend love and compassion not only to the person who betrayed you but also to yourself. Self-compassion is essential—be gentle with yourself as you navigate your emotions and take the time to heal.

In moments of stillness, meditate on the love of Christ, who forgave even those who wronged Him deeply. Let His example inspire you to rise above the pain and choose love, even in the face of betrayal.

Finally, trust that everything unfolds according to divine timing and purpose. The betrayal you experienced may have been painful, but it also holds the potential to lead you to greater wisdom, strength, and spiritual maturity. Trust that God is guiding you through this experience and that, in time, you will emerge stronger and more aligned with your true purpose.

Betrayal is never easy, but it can become a powerful force for transformation with the proper perspective. You can find healing and peace by acknowledging your pain, reframing the incident, practicing radical forgiveness, setting boundaries, and leaning on your faith. Remember that you are not alone—God’s love is always with you, guiding you toward wholeness and light.

Life After Trust and Betrayal

Yes, there is life after trust and betrayal. Because you don’t live in a vacuum, you want to trust someone enough to establish a close relationship wherein you may share the intimate portions of your life. While relationships of all kinds are readily available, most of them are superficial at best. Yet you long to have a deeper connection with a person, someone you can be honest and open with, someone you can depend on, someone you can trust.

Trust doesn’t come easily, especially for you, if you’ve trusted before and have suffered the consequences of trusting someone who was untrustworthy or demonstrated betrayal of trust. If you trusted someone, then found out later trusting them was not in your best interest, then there is the likelihood you have been wounded by the experience.

The betrayal leaves wounds and scars which cannot be seen by outward appearance, though the emotional suffering which results from a misplaced trust can be much more painful than being bludgeoned by a gang of bloodthirsty thugs, and last much longer.

Is it any wonder you might think twice before entering that dark alley of trust again? How can you know if you can trust someone or, not?

You have a natural inclination to trust others, or not, based on the conditions under which you were raised. We learn either to trust or not trust others with the sensitive details of our life when we are young, and progress through adulthood.

Trust is a give-and-take endeavor, if you feel as though you cannot trust others, you will not likely be as open and honest as you could be, and you will live a heavily-guarded emotional life, feeling mostly disconnected and alone, but also have a sense of safety by not exposing yourself to potential betrayal.

You’re no fool. You are a keen observer of others and can decide whether someone is trustworthy in ten seconds. Every now and then, you find someone. Someone who appears to be trustworthy, someone you resonate with, someone you call friend, and you believe you can trust him or her, so after prolonged observation and data collection, you open up.

You put yourself out there, even if it is infrequently or a rare occasion because you desire this deep connection with another person, one that can only be achieved by trusting someone outside yourself who reciprocates with an equal degree of trust. This is the basis of true intimacy.

Then, before you know it, the trust is broken and you’ve been betrayed by your friend. Though, if you could consider the possibility, even if only for a moment, there is a forty percent chance the breach of trust was the result of your self-fulfilling prophecy.

You allowed yourself to question the idea of trusting anyone, therefore if you actually do trust someone, you expect to be betrayed, so the betrayal manifests itself, even if no betrayal actually took place. Not the best approach in dealing with betrayal.

It’s true, in many cases, a perceived breach of trust was actually a tragic miscommunication between people, which appeared to one or more of the participants as a breach of trust because that’s what he or she was looking for. When the red flag of mistrust was first perceived (even though it may not have actually been waived) the person who expected betrayal, points a finger and shouts, “I knew it!” Further supporting the position that no one can be trusted.

Casual relationships needn’t rely on a high level of trust and are therefore easier to maintain. Given a certain amount of time, a superficial relationship can morph into a more intimate relationship unbeknownst to the person who would otherwise be unlikely to trust. Nonetheless, trust slips in under the radar, and before you know it, someone else has trashed your trust in them, yet again. Though, in this case, there was never any expectation of trust communicated.

It is best, when communicating any sensitive information to someone, to at the very least, let them know that you are trusting him or her, as if to place a delicate crystal bauble in his or her hands with the expectation that he or she will care for it respectfully, protecting it from harm, so as not to damage it while in their possession, and have them acknowledge their commitment to you to keep it safe. It is clearly understood that you do not expect, and it would be devastating to you if he or she threw it onto the ground and crashed it into a million pieces.

Not setting the ground rules of the expectation of trusting someone with something is just not fair, for how is the person supposed to know, as we all regard different things as “sensitive information.” What might be highly sensitive to one person might only be interesting or humorous to someone else, without the proper supporting framework. After all, we can’t possibly know what’s going on inside someone else’s head.

And if you’re carrying around emotional wounds from past betrayals of trust, consider the idea of letting the anchors to those painful wounds go.

If you can allow your mind to conceive of the idea, you might be able to imagine the point of view of your transgressor. What if he or she was doing what they were doing (which encompassed the breaking of your trust) from an entirely different perspective than your vantage point, when the betrayal occurred?

If it is true, that

we’re all doing the best we can with what we have

Then, there was no malicious intent of the person who conducted the breach of trust. In fact, that person had no idea (or maybe they did) that trust would be broken. What was going on in the mind and life of that person in that period of time in space left him or her with no other option but to make the decision to take the action which hurt you.

Has there ever been a time when you were falsely accused due to a misinterpretation when someone was unable to see something from your point of view?

If you were that person, had lived his or her life up until that point, and if you were under the exact same circumstances as he or she was in, in that moment… You would have done the same thing.

You could recoil in self-righteousness and say, “No, I wouldn’t.” But that is not true because had you been that person, you would have done the same thing, likely not for the reasons or with the intent which you have associated with the other person’s actions though.

Through empathetic understanding, try to imagine what was going on inside the emotional body and mind of the person you felt betrayed by. Why might they have felt like there was no other option? Be brave enough to try to compassionately imagine what it might have been like to been him or her in that moment in time. How hard might it have been?

Then, if you dare, forgive them, one by one.

You don’t have to tell them or confront them, you only have to forgive them in your own heart, and if you have the ability and the courage, to not carry a grudge and let it go.

There is hope for you, even if you believe that people cannot be trusted, that you can live to love and trust someone in a deeply connected relationship.

You have much love to give.

For more information, see: Trust Betrayal dot com.

Financial Infidelity

We all know there are many types of infidelity and while all types of unfaithfulness can break the trust in a relationship as much (or more so) as an affair, next to sexual infidelity financial infidelity is the destroyer of romantic love relationships in the lives shared by two.

What is financial infidelity?

Financial infidelity is the behavior which is marked by keeping financial secrets, having secret bank accounts, hiding financial affairs from your partner, such as getting a raise and tucking it away instead of sharing it with your partner. People engaged in breaching the sacred bond of trust for financial affairs are prone to making financial decisions, investments, and making purchases which are hidden from the other partner and kept secret.

Money is energy which tends to mirror one’s life and relationship. Your relationship with money will reveal what your relationship with a partner will look like, as well as many other areas of your life and how you perceive and interact with it.

Financial infidelity blocks the flow of energy not only in a relationship but in all areas of life which limits one’s ability to have access to or to experience all the best things in life which are abundantly waiting for you.

Financial infidelity represents festering wounds buried deep within someone who suffers from unworthiness, fear, emotional pain, worry, and doubt. Financial cheaters are often haunted and overcome by the demons of their past.

In relationships, fear is the primary motivator in cheating when it comes to money-related issues. Because you’re afraid that your partner won’t approve of a particular action which involves spending money, you tend to take the action and spend the money under a veil of deceit hoping and praying that your partner never finds out, and you may even be willing to go so far as to lie about it.

To attempt to deal with the issues that lead to financial infidelity is deep inner work that cannot be dictated or mandated. The healing which must take place to bring the cheater to a place where he or she and be open and honest about money issues and sharing and caring for their partner abundantly, which overflows into all areas of life, not just about money, will take some time and effort on the part of the cheater.

How do you confront a financial cheater?

Probably your initial inclination is to react in a fit of rage when you discover your partner is engaged in financial infidelity. Probably not your best option, unless you have a desire to create massive conflict and possibly end the relationship with a great deal of unresolved issues, and painful emotional wounds. At the very least, you will make helping the relationship heal and move forward more problematic by starting with an emotional outburst.
Try to keep your wits about you and muster as much resolve as possible before confronting your partner and try to make this as unconfrontational as possible. As with all important conversations when you want to say, “We need to talk,” try to be sensitive and non-threatening but be explicit about your concerns.

Being the initiator of the conversation, you get to set the tone.

You can start with as much softness and caring as possible in your voice, saying something, like, “Hey, baby,” (or some other tender word that you might use for your partner) “I noticed,” then disclose the discrepancy and let him or her respond in a way that is natural and less defensive than having to respond to an accusation.

Try to keep love as your focal point in your heart and mind as you look through the eyes of love at your partner. Remember that this behavior has a lot of painful inner connections that run deep. If there is any hope for a breakthrough in this kind of behavior, you are holding the keys to this issue.

Try to hold the space for this conversation as sacred, and allow an opportunity for your partner to rebuild trust. While trust can be lost in a heartbeat it takes a lot of love and time to rebuild, but it can be done, and when it does happen, it can bring a couple together closer and create deeper intimacy than could have been possible prior to the breach of trust.

If you can move forward through this rebuilding process together, you (the two or you as a couple) can seek to uncover your partner’s demons from the past and slay them together. This is the highest and best sacred work that a couple could do together fostering growth and change, though due to the highly sensitive nature of the material at hand, your partner may feel the need to do this deep inner work alone.

No matter what the outcome, keep love at the forefront and only good things can come from love in the end.

An Affair of a Different Technology

When trust is lost in a relationship, how are you to recover from the broken sacred bond between two people?

In my work with couples, I have seen breaches of trust, that may not look like much on the surface but left to itself, like droplets of water over time, can erode and naturally cut a canal between a couple’s otherwise potentially healthy terrain.

One such subject of erosion is tied to emerging technology which is greatly impacting our lives and may be causing our real relationships to erode as we seek more temporal relationships found via social networking and cell phone communication.

There is an addition to this emerging media which allows people to bond with other people without the risk of a face-to-face component, reducing the fear of rejection or failure that is ever looming over a live interaction between two people. The technology buffer helps to protect us, and give us a false sense of safety, as we carry on online or via cell or another device.

You see the erosion in a coupled relationship begin (albeit barely noticeable at the outset) when one of the parties begins to spend more time communicating and engaging with their virtual friends or mates, than their real-life partner.

When examined, it all seems so innocent, as it’s just a bit of sending funny pictures or videos, just exchanging jokes for a little laugh, nothing really harmful in itself, while some of them may well be members of the opposite sex, and may also be a threat to the current partner, or not.

When approached or challenged about your virtual relationships, if you protest and justify your actions with,

“It’s not like I’m having sex, or anything…”

then there’s a pretty good chance you’ve already compromised your current relationship, and if you continue, it will only get worse.

Why do you think your partner queried you about your virtual relationships?

Could it be that he or she feels that your virtual relationships are a threat to the sacred bond which holds a committed couple together? Why do you think he or she might feel that way?

And why are you so defensive about defending your right to carry on with your virtual relationships?

I will tell you why, because in that moment, when you defend your virtual friends, you further compromise the relationship, by indirectly stating,

“My virtual friends mean more to me than our relationship.”

I know it sounds crazy, but think back to the early stages when you were developing the relationship that you’re in now; what kind of things did you talk about with your prospective mate?

When you move this intimate communication component to relationships outside of your current one, the effects are equivalent to having an affair. While the affair may not possess a sexual component yet, and may never go there, the emotional breach has already taken place and can be even harder to recover from than a sexual transgression.

So, when you’re reaching out to your virtual friends with conversations about your problems, or the latest happenings, observations, concerns and struggles going on in your life, this is robbing your real-life relationship of the glue which bonds the two of you together. As it continues to deteriorate, and you reach further and further outside your relationship for comfort or connection, the relationship deteriorates and falls apart.

I’m not saying all casual relationships turn into a wild, sexual affair, only that in a relationship between two intimately connected individuals, the connection is broken when you turn your attention about the intimate (not necessarily sexual) details of your life away from your partner and toward someone else.

Think about this; when you get wind of a good joke, catch a meme that tickles your funny bone, hear a good bit of gossip, or catch a breaking news headline, who do you first report it to? Virtual friends, or coworkers? If so, you’re giving away your relationship adhesive. Even if you feign the attempt to share it with your partner after work, you’ve told and retold it enough that it has lost its impact or flavor, it once had when it was fresh.

Do you enjoy a little harmless flirtation with members of the opposite sex at work, online, or via text?

Have you ever shared intimate details about your life, or your relationship, with someone of the opposite sex, in person or via other communication devices?

If you have, the adhesive is continuing to erode. If this energy was turned toward your partner, you know it would bring you closer together, but now you’ve basically turned your back on (or at least your attention away from) your mate, and putting this energy in the hands of someone else.

Even if nothing transpires physically between you and this other person, you have compromised your bond and transferred the bonding agent to someone else.

I have been helping couples for years, and even though current technology makes this sharing of sacred energy even easier, believe me, there are plenty of other ways to give your energy away, and it’s been going on for as long as there has been coupling, its nothing new.

The only way to keep it from destroying your relationship is to stop doing it.

And if the mere thought of giving up this innocuous relationship seems offensive to you, that in itself is proof that it is not as benign a relationship as you might think. Not to mention that a key component of grooming someone is to develop a deep, non-threatening emotional attachment over time (which is a whole different subject altogether, but does rear its ugly head in circumstances when the attention of one of the individuals in a relationship allows their attention to stray).

“But,” you say (they all do), “There’s nothing going on here, this person is meaningless to me and it is not damaging my relationship.” Okay, if that’s true, then just stop it.

Stopping this type of emotional affair and returning your attention to your partner, could be the most important thing you could do to save your relationship from its being reduced to little more than ash.