incongruency | David M Masters

When you talk about everything in terms of energy and frequency, understand this: your actions broadcast your frequency far louder than your words ever will. If your words and your walk don’t align, the people around you will feel it, even if they can’t articulate it. And if you’re proclaiming truth, while quietly living in contradiction, it won’t stay quiet for long.

Once that inconsistency gets exposed, especially if you’ve built your reputation on your integrous ideals, you’re not just taking a credibility hit, you might be taking a fall from grace that could take years to recover from… if ever.

The Energy of Hypocrisy

How many times have we seen someone, famous or otherwise, make bold declarations about morality, love, family values, health, or spiritual enlightenment, only to be caught engaging in the very behavior they condemned?

Let’s look at some examples.

Famous Contradictions: When Words and Energy Don’t Match

Public Persona	Proclaimed Belief or Value	Contradictory Action
Lance Armstrong	Advocated athletic excellence and clean sportsmanship.	Caught in one of the most elaborate doping scandals in history.
Jim Bakker (Televangelist)	Preached purity, faithfulness, and Christian morality.	Exposed for financial fraud and sexual misconduct.
Bill Clinton	Promoted women’s rights and dignity in public office.	Infamous affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky while President.
Ellen DeGeneres	Built her brand on kindness and positivity.	Accusations from staff about a toxic workplace environment behind the scenes.
Ted Haggard (Evangelical pastor)	Spoke out aggressively against homosexuality.	Caught in a scandal involving male escorts and methamphetamine.
Gwyneth Paltrow	Markets extreme wellness and health purity.	Criticized for promoting pseudoscientific or unsafe products via Goop.
Alex Jones	Called himself a truth-teller and anti-establishment warrior.	Profited millions from fear-based marketing while misleading the public on tragedies.
Matt Lauer	Reported on justice and accountability in the media.	Fired after credible sexual misconduct allegations at NBC.
Marion Barry (Former DC Mayor)	Public servant fighting crime and addiction.	Arrested for crack cocaine use while in office.
Prince Andrew	Claimed moral dignity as a royal figure.	Linked to Jeffrey Epstein scandal and sexual abuse allegations.

These public examples are not about shame, they’re lessons in energetic incongruence.

These individuals didn’t fall because they made a mistake, we all do.
They fell because their energy didn’t match their words, and the dissonance became too loud to ignore.

The Mirror of the Everyday Life

But this doesn’t just happen to the rich or famous. I see it every day in my coaching practice.

The biggest inconsistency I encounter? Unconditional love.

People say they want it. Demand it. Worship it.
But when it’s their turn to offer it? That love comes with conditions, expectations, ultimatums, and emotional punishments.

Sometimes they don’t even realize they’re doing it. It’s a pattern, programmed by upbringing, trauma, or environment. It’s not a flaw, it’s an auto-response.

And when I see it, I don’t always say something right away. I let it play out. But if they project that contradiction onto me or someone else, especially in judgment, I gently wait until the next time they contradict themselves, and I reflect it back.

They might not like it. They might resist it. But after a while, they get it. They start to see themselves.

And when that happens? That’s when real transformation begins.

Common Contradictions Among Clients

What They Say or Demand	What They Actually Do
“I only want unconditional love.”	Judges and withdraws love the moment expectations aren’t met.
“I can’t stand liars.”	Lies to avoid conflict or embarrassment.
“I’m all about positivity.”	Complains and criticizes when things don’t go their way.
“I’m a very spiritual person.”	Shames others for not being as “enlightened.”
“I live in the vibration of love.”	Gossips and excludes those who disagree.
“I don’t tolerate drama.”	Creates tension by holding grudges and nitpicking.

Suggestions to Break the Pattern of Contradiction

1. Catch Yourself in the Act
  Make a list of what you expect from others. Then ask: “Do I offer this consistently?”
  This isn’t about guilt. It’s about awareness.
2. Request Feedback
  Ask someone close to you: “Is there anything I say I value that you don’t see me living out?”
  Don’t defend. Just listen.
3. Daily Alignment Check
  Ask yourself every night: “Did I live today in harmony with the energy I claim to be?”
4. Flip the Script
  The next time you’re about to criticize someone, pause and say: “Where do I do this too?”
  Use it as a mirror, not a weapon.
5. Mantra Practice
  “I walk in the truth I speak. I offer what I seek. I love without condition.”
  Speak it. Breathe it. Live it.

Being out of alignment doesn’t make you a fraud, it makes you human.
What matters most is that you’re willing to recognize it, own it, and shift it.

Because when your energy matches your intention, the world changes around you. People trust you. Doors open. You become magnetic. You become free.

So be mindful of your frequency. And let your walk echo the truth you talk.

With all my love and resonance,
David M. Masters

Have you ever been blindsided by someone who had the uncanny ability to say one thing and do another, to say all the right things, looking you in the eye with sincerity, making promises or declarations that touched your soul—only to watch their actions contradict entirely every word? If so, you are not alone. The shock of this kind of betrayal can feel like the ground shifting beneath your feet. It’s confusing. Disorienting. And it cuts deep.

It’s okay to feel angry. Hurt. Even foolish. You trusted. You believed. You wanted to see the best in someone. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

Why Does It Hurt So Much?

Because words have power. We build our hopes, our expectations, and sometimes our very identities on the things people tell us—especially those we love or admire. When those words dissolve into lies or indifference, it’s natural to feel like we’ve been played or discarded. It’s one thing to make a mistake or have a misunderstanding—it’s another thing entirely to be deceived.

But what do we do with that pain? How do we move forward when the betrayal doesn’t make sense?

Let’s explore a few possibilities.

Option 1: Take a Stroll in Their Shoes

Before we jump to conclusions, consider this: What if their inconsistency isn’t intentional malice but a reflection of deep inner conflict? Some people have spent their entire lives learning how to survive—not how to love, trust, or show up with integrity.

Ask yourself:

- What kind of childhood might they have endured?
- Were they raised in chaos or constant criticism?
- Have they ever had an example of what healthy love looks like?

Sometimes, people say what they think they should say, without knowing how to follow through. Their words are echoes of what they wish they could be—not a blueprint of who they truly are.

This doesn’t excuse their behavior. It doesn’t mean you should tolerate being hurt. But it does offer a softer lens—one that allows for understanding, and maybe even compassion, from a safe distance.

This kind of person isn’t evil. They’re wounded. And their inconsistency may be more about their survival mechanisms than a targeted attack on your heart.

Option 2: Spotting the Predators

But then again… maybe not.

Some people do manipulate. Some people do lie, gaslight, and deliberately distort reality for their own gain. These are the narcissists, sociopaths, and—at the far end of the spectrum—psychopaths. They walk among us, often charming, confident, and convincing.

So, how can you tell the difference?

Signs of a wounded but redeemable person:

- They express genuine remorse when confronted.
- Their actions, over time, reflect growth.
- They try to make amends, even if awkwardly.
- They’re open to therapy, insight, or accountability.

Signs of a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath:

- They deny wrongdoing and shift the blame onto you.
- They lie with ease, often denying things you know happened.
- They show no empathy for your pain.
- They repeat harmful behaviors without change.
- They make you question your sanity—this is gaslighting.
- You feel drained, confused, or constantly “off” around them.

If that’s what you’re dealing with, your next steps must be protective, not compassionate.

Protect Yourself, Either Way

Whether the person is broken or predatory, the outcome is the same: you are being harmed. You are confused, off-kilter, and perhaps doubting yourself. That’s not okay.

Here’s what you can do:

1. Pause and Reflect. Write down exactly what happened—what was said, what was done. Clarity is power.
2. Talk to Someone You Trust. Don’t isolate. Seek wise counsel. A therapist, coach, or grounded friend can help you sort out what’s real.
3. Protect Your Peace. Sometimes that means limiting contact, creating boundaries, or walking away altogether.
4. Forgive for You, Not for Them. Forgiveness doesn’t mean re-entry. It means you’re choosing to let go of the poison they left behind so you can heal.
5. Trust Yourself Again. Just because you were fooled doesn’t mean you’re foolish. You trusted. That’s a beautiful thing. With time, you’ll learn how to trust wiser—but don’t lose the beautiful heart that beats inside you.

Whether the person in question is struggling with unhealed trauma or is an expert manipulator, you are not powerless. You get to choose how you respond. You get to decide how much access they have to your heart, your time, and your sacred energy.

And as painful as this experience may be, it can also be a gateway to incredible growth, insight, and self-love.

So take a deep breath. Stand in your truth. You’re not crazy. You’re awakening.

And that’s where your healing begins.