liar | David M Masters

Blindsided By Their Ability to Say One Thing and Do Another?

Have you ever been blindsided by someone who had the uncanny ability to say one thing and do another, to say all the right things, looking you in the eye with sincerity, making promises or declarations that touched your soul—only to watch their actions contradict entirely every word? If so, you are not alone. The shock of this kind of betrayal can feel like the ground shifting beneath your feet. It’s confusing. Disorienting. And it cuts deep.

It’s okay to feel angry. Hurt. Even foolish. You trusted. You believed. You wanted to see the best in someone. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

Why Does It Hurt So Much?

Because words have power. We build our hopes, our expectations, and sometimes our very identities on the things people tell us—especially those we love or admire. When those words dissolve into lies or indifference, it’s natural to feel like we’ve been played or discarded. It’s one thing to make a mistake or have a misunderstanding—it’s another thing entirely to be deceived.

But what do we do with that pain? How do we move forward when the betrayal doesn’t make sense?

Let’s explore a few possibilities.

Option 1: Take a Stroll in Their Shoes

Before we jump to conclusions, consider this: What if their inconsistency isn’t intentional malice but a reflection of deep inner conflict? Some people have spent their entire lives learning how to survive—not how to love, trust, or show up with integrity.

Ask yourself:

- What kind of childhood might they have endured?
- Were they raised in chaos or constant criticism?
- Have they ever had an example of what healthy love looks like?

Sometimes, people say what they think they should say, without knowing how to follow through. Their words are echoes of what they wish they could be—not a blueprint of who they truly are.

This doesn’t excuse their behavior. It doesn’t mean you should tolerate being hurt. But it does offer a softer lens—one that allows for understanding, and maybe even compassion, from a safe distance.

This kind of person isn’t evil. They’re wounded. And their inconsistency may be more about their survival mechanisms than a targeted attack on your heart.

Option 2: Spotting the Predators

But then again… maybe not.

Some people do manipulate. Some people do lie, gaslight, and deliberately distort reality for their own gain. These are the narcissists, sociopaths, and—at the far end of the spectrum—psychopaths. They walk among us, often charming, confident, and convincing.

So, how can you tell the difference?

Signs of a wounded but redeemable person:

- They express genuine remorse when confronted.
- Their actions, over time, reflect growth.
- They try to make amends, even if awkwardly.
- They’re open to therapy, insight, or accountability.

Signs of a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath:

- They deny wrongdoing and shift the blame onto you.
- They lie with ease, often denying things you know happened.
- They show no empathy for your pain.
- They repeat harmful behaviors without change.
- They make you question your sanity—this is gaslighting.
- You feel drained, confused, or constantly “off” around them.

If that’s what you’re dealing with, your next steps must be protective, not compassionate.

Protect Yourself, Either Way

Whether the person is broken or predatory, the outcome is the same: you are being harmed. You are confused, off-kilter, and perhaps doubting yourself. That’s not okay.

Here’s what you can do:

1. Pause and Reflect. Write down exactly what happened—what was said, what was done. Clarity is power.
2. Talk to Someone You Trust. Don’t isolate. Seek wise counsel. A therapist, coach, or grounded friend can help you sort out what’s real.
3. Protect Your Peace. Sometimes that means limiting contact, creating boundaries, or walking away altogether.
4. Forgive for You, Not for Them. Forgiveness doesn’t mean re-entry. It means you’re choosing to let go of the poison they left behind so you can heal.
5. Trust Yourself Again. Just because you were fooled doesn’t mean you’re foolish. You trusted. That’s a beautiful thing. With time, you’ll learn how to trust wiser—but don’t lose the beautiful heart that beats inside you.

Whether the person in question is struggling with unhealed trauma or is an expert manipulator, you are not powerless. You get to choose how you respond. You get to decide how much access they have to your heart, your time, and your sacred energy.

And as painful as this experience may be, it can also be a gateway to incredible growth, insight, and self-love.

So take a deep breath. Stand in your truth. You’re not crazy. You’re awakening.

And that’s where your healing begins.

What Can You Do if You Catch Your Partner Lying?

Everyone lies. We do it for all kinds of reasons; to make life easier on us, on those we care about, on the behalf of someone else, to be polite, and to outright deceive and defraud on purpose. But what can you do if you catch your partner lying?

You love and trust your partner. Without trust, where is the love? When you catch your partner lying, you feel as though you’ve been stabbed in the back, punched in the gut, or so disrespected or disregarded that you don’t know if you can think straight. What can you do?

Nobody will deny you your right to feel bad about being lied to, that’s a given. We’ve all been in the same boat, for who of us has made it through life without being lied to of deceived. Sometimes people can be harmfully deceitful without saying a word, as is the case of lying by omission.

Yes, even not saying anything is in order to cover something up or avoid being truthfully honest (lying by omission) is a venial sin. It doesn’t mean you have to be rudely open and honest, just to tell the truth, and if you love someone, be honest lovingly. Tell the truth in a way that respects your partner. Be gentle and speak your truth with grace and love, even if it is difficult. Nobody expects you to be perfect.

If you’ve caught your partner lying, don’t sweep it under the carpet or try to gloss it over. Dishonesty in a relationship will cause your trust to rust, and leads to the erosion of your love, especially if you’re harboring the truth about your knowledge of the deceit or dishonesty and not saying anything about it (lying by omission). Even you are a guilty enabler by engaging in the dishonesty.

Get it out in the open. Relationships go through periods of varying levels of comfort and discomfort, it’s the nature of two people sharing one life. It is all part of the growth process. If there is no conflict, there can be no growth, which leaves you with stagnation. Where is the life in that? You might be able to get by, but you can forget thriving in a relationship which is a cesspool.

Grab your grown-up skivvies and get ready for some gentle conversation about your awareness that something’s not adding up. As in all difficult conversations, create a safe space to frame the conversation and avoid being accusatory. This is about creating an environment where its safe to be honest. Avoid jumping-in, interrupting, or otherwise preventing your partner from fully sharing. Take notes on paper, if you have to, but let them speak their truth in peace.

Let them say whatever it is, without interruption, or else he or she will get defensive, and the flow of open communication will stop if your partner feels like he or she needs to take the defensive position.

Once you’ve actively heard what your partner needs to say, and you’ve affirmed that you’ve understood the key points by paraphrasing them back to him or her, now your partner owes you the same respect to hear what you have to say about it.

Check with your heart and center yourself. Take a cleansing breath, then speak your heart in love. Again, be honest, but try to avoid being harsh. If your feelings have been hurt, say so, but try to use words that are not abrupt or frightening. Remember you are expressing how you feel, so start your sentences with “I,” or, “I feel like,” and avoid starting any statement with, “You.”
Trust your intuition. When you feel like something just isn’t right. In most cases, something isn’t right. If your partner gives a perfectly good explanation, and it doesn’t feel right, you probably know by experience that something has most always been amiss when you’ve had feelings, like that, in the past.

Deciding whether you can live with this or not is only something you must decide for yourself. Everybody’s different, and we all can tolerate different degrees of what our partners are allowed to do or not do within the confines of our relationships.

Even though magazines and tabloids will gibe you a list of do’s and don’ts in black and white, there really is no strict guideline for what is and is not acceptable in a successful relationship. Each couple must figure out for themselves what works for them.

Forgiveness in a loving relationship goes a long way. For the repeat offender, you might think about negotiating new paradigms for the expansion of your relationship, or if you are unable to come to a workable compromise, it might be time to look for a better match for your true love to emerge.

It’s your love life. It’s up to you.

Love, love, love. Love like it’s all that matters because it is. And if you dare, think about loving unconditionally.

I love you no matter what.

When Someone Calls You a Liar

What can you do when someone calls you a liar? That’s a tough question and one of the most difficult situations between two people. You have told the truth, whoever you’ve told it to doesn’t believe you, and to make matters worse, you’ve been called a liar.

Few situations are more painful than being called a liar, especially when you know you’ve told the truth. It can feel like an attack on your character, a dismissal of your integrity, and a deeply personal betrayal. But what can you do when someone refuses to believe you? How do you handle such a difficult and emotionally charged encounter?

Stand Firm in Your Truth

The most important thing to remember is this: if you’ve told the truth, you’ve done your part. You are not obligated to defend yourself to someone who doubts your honesty. In fact, trying to prove your truthfulness often makes matters worse.

When someone believes you are lying, no amount of evidence or insistence can change their mind. Their mistrust likely stems from their own experiences, insecurities, or biases—things beyond your control. Arguing or pleading only gives them more reason (in their mind) to doubt you. Sometimes, your attempts to stand up for yourself are twisted into “proof” of dishonesty.

Instead of engaging in a futile battle, speak your truth clearly and calmly, and then let it be. Trust that your integrity speaks for itself, regardless of whether others recognize it.

Their Doubts Are Not About You

It’s vital to understand that someone’s mistrust often says more about them than it does about you. People carry their own histories, fears, and unresolved issues, which can cloud their ability to trust. If someone falsely accuses you of lying, it may be less about your actions and more about their inner struggles.

While their words can hurt—sometimes deeply—you don’t have to internalize their accusations. Their inability to trust is not your responsibility to fix, nor should it dictate your actions.

The Danger of Changing Your Truth

In the face of persistent accusations, you may feel tempted to alter your story just to stop the abuse. After all, what harm could it do to give in? Surely, it’s better than enduring their relentless interrogation. But changing your truth for the sake of appeasement comes at a great cost.

When you bend to someone’s insistence that you are dishonest, you sacrifice a piece of your integrity. Worse, the person will never truly trust you. By confirming their false belief, you reinforce their mistrust, perpetuating a cycle that could haunt your relationship indefinitely.

Stay true to your word. Even when it feels easier to compromise, know that standing firm in your truth protects your integrity and honors your authentic self.

When Accusations Escalate

Unfortunately, some accusations can spiral out of control. Our society, while structured around systems of justice, is far from perfect. Legal systems can be manipulated by those who know how to wield them for personal gain or vengeance. Such individuals may be driven by a sense of self-righteousness, unresolved inner turmoil, or the desire to dominate others.

If you find yourself facing unjust accusations in such circumstances, it’s critical to stay grounded. Speak your truth, but recognize that the battle may not be winnable through force or argument. Sometimes, the best course of action is to step away, protect your energy, and focus on living your truth with dignity.

Choosing Love Over Conflict

When faced with conflict, you always have a choice: to fight or to rise above. Many battles—especially those rooted in personal differences or misunderstandings—aren’t worth the toll they take on your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Interestingly, when you refuse to engage defensively and instead remain in the vibration of love, new paths often reveal themselves. Staying calm, centered, and open to love allows you to see solutions that might otherwise remain hidden in the heat of the moment.

This approach doesn’t mean you condone harmful behavior or accept injustice. It means you prioritize your peace and integrity over the need to prove someone else wrong. You transcend the conflict and move toward a higher state of being—one defined by love, honor, and authenticity.

A Larger Perspective

The pain of being falsely accused is not unique to you; it’s part of the human experience. Wars have been fought, relationships shattered, and lives wasted over differences in belief and perception. But these conflicts only persist when people choose to fight instead of seeking understanding and love.

If we, as individuals, can commit to living in love and truth, we have the power to change the world. Even in its imperfections, this world offers us an opportunity to grow, evolve, and pave the way for future generations. Every act of love, no matter how small, contributes to a better, more compassionate world.

The Power of Love

In the face of doubt, accusations, or conflict, choose love. Love for yourself, love for others—even those who accuse you—and love for the truth that lives within you.

Stay true to your word and your integrity. Let go of the need to be understood or validated by those who doubt you. Trust that your truth will stand on its own, and let love guide your actions.

The world may not be perfect, but love is the most powerful force for good. By choosing love over conflict, you not only honor yourself but also contribute to the healing and evolution of humanity.

What Are You Hiding?

I have had the privilege of having people confide in me, telling me their deepest, darkest secrets. I know what the “official story” is about a great many things, and I have heard the truth behind the headlines directly from the sources. I have also been massively deceived by a sociopath, the greatest keeper of secrets, only to find out the truth at great expense.

One particular psychopath with whom I’d become acquainted with who was referred to by prosecutors as inherently evil and claimed himself to be a pathological liar could wield lies like his identifying superpower. With a keen ability to defraud, counterfeit, and masquerade, he enjoyed false careers as everything from an airline pilot, attorney, mental health counselor, therapist, investment banker, real estate, precious metals, and Wall Street broker, just to name a few.

The psychopath was the embodiment of the phrase, “If his lips are moving, he’s lying,” (according to one Chief Investigator) as he committed a wide variety of crimes while bilking unsuspecting widows, and vulnerable adults, among a long list of other types of victims, left wounded, alone, and penniless. Lying, he claimed, was his form of exercising his First Amendment right to free speech, which he was entitled to by constitutional law.

Being proficient at lying is not relegated to narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, pathological liars, or evil people.

As much as we’d like to say, “I could never lie, like that,” the truth is all of us, including you and me, lie all day long, every day of our lives, albeit without any malicious intent.

What are you hiding?

You are deceptive, hide the truth, and lie every day; we all do. It’s a standard human basic survival skill.

You’ve learned from a very early age, generally two years old, that telling the truth does not serve your best interests. It usually starts with you being sent to your room or otherwise punished by a parent (or parental figure) for honestly fessing up to something that your parent(s) disapproved of. So, you learned to lie and have perfected the craft over time.

You learned to lie (just like we all did) to avoid punishment, disapproval, or pain, and to make life easier to manage, to make friends, to advance in careers or society, and to be attractive to others, especially romantic partners. Leaving you wondering why lovers lie?

Other reasons for lying include getting what you want, to be recognized, establish and maintain an image, to garner attention or sympathy, and to find out if someone else is lying or trustworthy.

No matter how much you know someone, how close you are to anyone, you can’t tell what’s going on inside someone else’s head, it’s just not possible. Just like no one can tell what’s going on inside your head, and you do the best you can to present yourself as the person you believe yourself to be, even if it means lying.

Those of us who might be on the autism spectrum are probably the worst liars (by that, I mean, not very believable when lying and lie the least), but the rest of us are fairly competent at lying.

The fact is, the whole world, the three-dimensional world that we all inhabit, is entirely an illusion of belief systems which are hardly based on truth, but on lies, we’re programmed to believe as truths, and we believe them so much, that we would defend them with our lives.

If we live, we live a lie to the best of our abilities, where we are surrounded by lies, but most of us do it with the best intentions.

How to Tell When Someone is Lying

In all areas of life, it is likely that you will run into an individual who is less than honest. There are so many ways for people to deceive, cheat, lie and steal, and if you’re not diligently paying attention, you might be swindled or betrayed by someone you’d considered as trustworthy.

This is not permission to go over the edge and be paranoid or adopting the extreme thought pattern that, “everyone’s out to get me,” only to be aware enough of your surroundings to be looking for clues that someone might be trying to put one over on you.

For a proficient or pathological liar, their ability to confidently state an all-out lie is unparalleled, so these tells may not be effective in getting to the truth from a cleverly deceptive liar. But other, “normal,” people will express some behaviors because they are not comfortable when lying.

Uncovering Deceit Expose the Liars

Being aware means getting to know someone well enough to establish their baseline behavior in a normal non-threatening conversation. If you don’t know how a person acts like when their engaged in conversation about something they interested in, when they would have no interest in being deceitful, you do not have enough information to notice a change in their behavior, which is your first clue that something might be awry.

Body language will likely change when someone is being deceptive. If in a normal conversation, he or she looks you in the eye and his or her body faces you straight on, and in the present conversation, they are not making eye contact, or their body is now at a 45 degree angle, that could be an indication that something’s up.

Someone’s facial expression, or eye movement which is different from their normal pattern of communication could also indicate someone is being less than honest and open, or intentionally hiding something.

Yes means yes, and no means no. If you’ve asked a simple yes or no question and the person you’ve asked answers with a long drawn out story, and can’t seem to settle on a yes or no conclusion, this is a clear indication of deceit or coverup. If you want the truth, you might want to ask this person, “Is that a yes, or a no?”

If you notice some inconsistencies in someone’s delivery, it could be connected to some other life experience which would trigger a signal which could be interpreted as a sign of someone’s deceit. If you really want to get down to what’s going on (and risk getting too personal) you might want to ask more questions and drill down to make a better determination whether this person is lying to you, or if he or she connected your question to a life experience in their past, which caused him or her to react differently.

When you’ve completed your conversation, gathered whatever information they’ve had to tell you, and you’ve confirmed that he or she has nothing more to say, then watch their reaction when you ask them if everything they’ve told you is true.
This is another simple yes or no answer. An honest person may admit to some inconsistency or add information that was purposefully left out at this point, which after allowing them to speak their piece would indicate the need to ask again if that was everything, and if they are telling the truth, leaving you waiting again for a simple yes or no answer.

A deceptive person will dance all around “Yes,” or, “No,” citing all kinds of irrelevant information and/or confusing details, and once you’ve received your simple yes or no answer, you might be brazen enough to follow up with the infamous, “Why should I believe you?”

Again, if their reply is over the top, emotionally charged, or they offer up a liturgy of character references, appalled that you might challenge them in such a manner, it could be an indication that they are being deceptive or withholding important information or details.

While brief and incomplete, hopefully these key signals indicating that someone’s not being honest and open with you will help you in determining if you’re dealing with a deceptive person, or an otherwise honest person who is not being completely forthcoming.

Good luck.

Don’t get paranoid, but be aware.

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

In life, you may encounter people who are not as they represent themselves, and when they are stealthy in their approach to control or manipulate others, we refer to such a person as a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

The Origins of the Phrase

The term has biblical roots, with Jesus warning, “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves” (Matthew 7:15). Similarly, Aesop’s fable tells of a wolf disguising itself with a sheep’s pelt to move freely among the flock, preying on the herd unnoticed. Eventually, the wolf is discovered by the shepherd and pays the ultimate price for its deception, suggesting that no matter how clever or stealthy the wolf may be, the truth will inevitably come to light.

The Modern-Day Wolf

Today’s wolves in sheep’s clothing are just as cunning, seamlessly integrating into social circles and expertly masking their true intentions. Their primary skill lies in deception—telling people what they want to hear and adapting to any environment to gain trust and manipulate others for their own gain, be it profit, entertainment, or pleasure.

Recognizing a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Just like Aesop’s shepherd, you might sense something isn’t quite right in your social circle. A gut feeling may prompt you to scan your surroundings for inconsistencies or red flags. By observing closely, you may spot certain telltale signs that expose the wolf among the flock.

1. Their Stories Don’t Add Up

Wolves are adept storytellers. They craft convincing narratives based on information they’ve gathered from others or the internet, making their tales sound authentic.

However, their web of lies often unravels over time. Inconsistencies may emerge as they forget details or contradict themselves. When questioned, they quickly spin new stories to cover their tracks with smooth and convincing rationalizations.

2. They’re Always on the Move

A wolf in sheep’s clothing rarely stands still. They keep a steady pace, always moving to avoid detection. Their mission requires constant activity, whether it’s forming new alliances or shoring up their image of trustworthiness.

These individuals excel at developing bonds quickly, especially with those who are trusting or eager to see the best in people. They charm their way into hearts with silver-tongued persuasion, building a network of allies to protect their hidden agenda.

3. They Play on Your Emotions

Wolves know how to manipulate emotions to their advantage. Initially, they’ll make everything about you, creating an exhilarating connection designed to release bonding hormones and make you feel deeply attached.

Once they have you hooked, their focus shifts. Suddenly, everything becomes about them. You may feel obligated to cater to their needs out of guilt or a sense of loyalty. Be wary of this tactic—it’s a calculated strategy to maintain control.

4. They Have a Short Attention Span

Wolves operate with a clear agenda, and they’re not interested in detours. Veering off course makes them anxious, and they’ll work quickly to steer things back to their desired path.

They’re also easily bored, constantly seeking new distractions or challenges to keep themselves entertained. This restlessness often leads to juggling multiple tasks at once, with little regard for completion or follow-through. Their lifestyle is fast-paced and superficial, leaving no time for depth or genuine enjoyment.

5. Their Mind Breaks Character

Even the most skilled wolves can slip up. While their game is tight on the surface, their mind may wander in moments that require focus or authenticity.

In group settings like meetings or discussions, their detachment may become apparent through subtle cues—shifting body language, distracted eye movements, or a fleeting expression that reveals their inner thoughts. In those moments, they’ve checked out, mentally plotting their next move or fantasizing about a favorable outcome.

Protecting Yourself from the Wolf

Being aware of these signs is the first step to protecting yourself from manipulation. Trust your instincts—if something feels off, it probably is. Here’s how you can safeguard your energy and relationships:

- Stay Observant: Pay attention to inconsistencies in their stories or behavior.
- Set Boundaries: Limit how much personal information you share and how much access they have to your life.
- Avoid Emotional Manipulation: Recognize when your emotions are being exploited and take a step back to assess the situation objectively.
- Maintain a Support Network: Surround yourself with trustworthy friends and allies who can help you spot red flags.

The Wolf’s Downfall

Like Aesop’s fable, the wolf in sheep’s clothing will eventually reveal their true nature. Whether through a slip of the tongue, a moment of inattention, or the inability to maintain their façade, the truth has a way of coming to light.

While you can’t always prevent encountering a wolf, you can protect yourself by staying vigilant and trusting your intuition. And remember, as clever as they may seem, a wolf can only hide for so long before their disguise falls apart.

In the end, the shepherd always uncovers the truth.

How to Deal with a Liar

How to deal with a liar? The truth is, if you can handle it, behavioral scientists report that during a 10-minute conversation people will lie two to three times, and if we are people, these statistics are true for you and me, too.

That’s a hard pill to swallow because we don’t like to be lied to, and we don’t like to be thought of as a liar, so we try to cover it up with withholding otherwise negative information (which is the unspoken lie of a weak-kneed chicken-hearted person, or people-pleaser). I know, “But I was trying to be nice,” but it’s still a lie.

And if you’re sensitive or aware enough to know when someone is lying to you, guess what? You’re wrong 47 percent of the time, so the joke’s on you.

Think law enforcement, CIA and lie detector professionals fare any better? Well, they do. They’re only wrong 40 percent of the time. Even with all the technology and behavioral science we can muster, only a seven percent increase in actual detection of a lie.

Even so, when you catch someone in a lie, it seems like such a betrayal or breach of trust how could anyone not take it personally?

So, what do you do when you catch someone in a lie?

Well, there are a couple of ways to approach the fact that someone has lied to you (assuming you know the facts, and that there is no other option than you’ve actually witnessed a bold-faced lie first hand).

Your first option is not to do anything, understanding that people lie all the time, and this person felt the inclination or need to lie based on any number of life circumstances and situations, and who knows? If you’d lived the same life and been faced with the same options at that particular point in time of your life, you may have responded the same way. Who knows? It could happen.

On the other hand, you could just laugh it off and make a joke of it, like it’s really no big deal. In this scenario, you might laughingly hint to what they might have said as being inaccurate or an exaggeration, without having to put the person on the spot. This gives them the un-threatened time and space to review what they’ve said and maybe consider approaching a more accurate story after they’ve had a chance to work it out for themselves.

You could take the Columbo approach, another non-threatening tactic, pretending that you’ve had a memory lapse, or appear to be confused because you’ve been juggling a lot of information that has become overwhelming and confusing. With this approach, you can query the person at leisure, by playing dumb, while continuing to ask questions to clarify your confusion, you’re likely to end up with a more accurate picture after some continued communication exchange.

Then, of course, there is the more direct option, which is to challenge their lie face-to-face, eye-to-eye. While this is the most direct approach, this is by far the most difficult and there is little or no margin for error. You must have your facts in order, in such a way so as not to be challenged yourself, or you could be labelled as a liar. In this direct fashion of facing off with the liar, it might be best done in private, or with others who may have been affected by the lie. Either way, be direct, keep control of your emotions, deal with the facts, and let the chips fall where they may.

Report the lie, if you feel the need to, to the proper authorities, manager(s), employers, agency, or victim, but if you do, keep it unemotional and stick only to the facts. Don’t use conjecture, accuse or try to speculate why this person feels as though they had to lie about anything. And if you are motivated by fear, anger or revenge, do not report it – at least not now – wait until you can make a report with complete control of your faculties. Often, after you’ve given yourself time to cool down, you might think that it wasn’t as much of a crisis as it felt like at the time, and you’ve avoided someone’s thinking that you’re over-reactive.

Above all, make note that you’re dealing with someone who has the propensity to lie. Try to cover your back by documenting all communication with this person. Try to communicate by verifiable methods such as email or texting. If this person is a highly advanced liar, they will not commit their words to writing. No problem, pay very close attention to what they say, noting the day(s), time(s), place(s) and player(s), then summarize their statement to him or her in a text or email just to confirm that you understood them correctly.