As integrous as I try to be, even I may say one thing and do another. For the longest time, I thought the one thing I would like to have etched in my gravestone would be the words, “Here lies a man who kept his words and lived by them.” Yet, even I can see that even I fall short, if I am able to see myself objectively. This leaves you wondering, “Why people say one thing and do another?”
The answer is far more complex than you might think. People are not as they appear, ever. You can have a general sense of how someone is, but you will never know everything which comprises any person you think you know, even if you know their entire backstory. You can never know what’s going on in someone else’s head.
All of us are a jumbled mess of incongruencies. Living, breathing contradictions. As hard as you might try to set an example of keeping your word, of being congruent, living a life in harmony with the words you speak, the contracts you make, still you falter, even if you can’t see it at the time (and few of us can see it due to the limitation(s) of our perspective in the moment).
Our lives are filled with living contradictions with our words, our agreements, and our lives.
There are contradictions in the words we say, like, “I’ll be there at four,” and you show up at 3:55 or 4:05. “I will pick up the items on your list from the store,” but you forget to get the milk which was on the list.
Every once and a while, even with the best intentions, we fall short of the words we speak. Unintentionally, life prevents us from being perfectly in alignment with the words we speak.
Contradictions in the contracts we make. You agree to make your payments on time, yet every so often, you are late and incur a late fee, get turned into collections, file bankruptcy, lose your car, or your house.
Some people go so far as to pledge their love and allegiance to another in marriage and end up getting a divorce.
Contradictions in the life we lead, like you see someone who lives their life with integrity, vowing never to engage in self-harm, yet he or she stuffs their mouths with unhealthy food and is overweight.
Or there are heavy people who do not exercise, yet wear sports apparel which contradicts their lifestyle.
Someone could live their lives in complete and utter chaos, but their home is immaculate.
The list goes on and on, as our lives demonstrate that we are not what we say or think we are.
Someone might be saying that they would never do or say a thing, while they are doing the very thing they say they would never do.
Some people go so far as to accuse you of doing something they are actively doing in the moment. If that isn’t confusing, I don’t know what is.
Having the knowledge of these life incongruencies can help you find the triggers which create the contradictions in your life.
You see yourself as a kind and loving person, yet you judge and criticize others, or could care less about people who are not intimately associated with you.
Now that you know that this is a contradiction in your life, you can take the steps necessary to either make the changes or redefine your perception of yourself to include the variations.
This is the decision made by those who desire to live a life of alignment or coherence.
These are the people who self-evaluate and make the necessary adjustments in their lives to be less of a human contradiction in an effort to live a harmonious lifestyle.
Do you know people say one thing and do another? Are you one of them?
I think if you are honest, you will find that you are. We all are to some degree or another.