When Things Don’t Work Out as Planned

When things don’t work out as planned something timeless and magical is taking place. Something so much bigger than you is happening, only you can’t see it from your perspective because you’re in the thick of it.

This is the secret to discovering all the good things in life, seeing the life spinning all around you, and feeling safe and secure in the knowing that whatever is happening to you in the now is all leading you toward your highest and best.

It’s a sacred fact of life which at present cannot be proven by science. To see it, to understand it, to know it takes seeing through the eyes of love, realizing (or alt least “allowing”) that everything is connected and perfect, and faith that something that surpasses your ability to understand is at work, here.

There are those of us, maybe you are one of us, who have had a chance to have a glimpse of the power of love and the greater good which is at work and ever present with every breath you take, every 1 volt beat of your heart.

You know this is true. How?

Because, if you look back on your life, you can see (hindsight is 20/20) that everything that has happened to you that was bad or when things didn’t work out as planned that something far better for you was waiting in the wings. Something you would have never seen, known was waiting for you, or was yours for the asking, was not available to you at the time.

You were in the wrong place, the wrong time, distracted by your place in life which you had become so embroiled in that your opportunities to achieve your highest and best were just beyond your reach. For you to be better positioned for the best things in life to be within your reach, something has to change. The further away from it you’ve wandered, the greater the change must be.

Change is shocking and painful, especially if you’re resistant to the idea of change. Drastic readjustments can be tragic, traumatic, and create wounds that leave scars which take time, attention, and love to heal. Not dealing with the pain will hinder the journey to all the best things this life has to offer.

This life has made the idea of just maintaining one’s level of survival, sucking it up, and settling for far less than your highest and best, that there’s an unspoken respect and honor among your peers for settling for mediocrity.

We justify it by looking around and saying, “It could be worse,” as long as we can find someone else who has suffers greater than we do, and so the world (the factions which run it) make certain that everyone, no matter what station in life they are in, can be aware of someone else who suffers more than they do.

Meanwhile, the ultimate force of all life, and even you, your higher self, is hard at work creating challenges to help redirect your path or prepare you for something which lies ahead, which you are unable to be aware of because its impossible to see from your current perspective. And you know this from experience.

So, relax, let your love light shine through the blackness of the darkest night and remember everything happens at the right time.

Settle into the idea that every step you take is right. You never make a mistake, nothing is wrong, and you are not broken, only greater prepared for what lies ahead.

When things don’t work out as planned this is always for your highest and best.

Everything is perfectly perfect.

And so, it is.

Higher Perspective of Trust Betrayal

When dealing the effects and aftereffects of broken trust, betrayal, unfaithfulness, having suffered at the hands of cheaters and liars, or being victimized manipulative predators or psychopaths, it’s natural to take it personally, but there is a higher perspective of trust betrayal.

When you’ve trusted someone and they betray you, you conjure up a symphony of wild emotions which are all chained together with all the times you’ve ever been betrayed. Every betrayal is worse than the last as the cascading emotional flood ensues.

Under these conditions, it’s easy to lose control of your faculties as you protest profusely for trusting someone who couldn’t be trusted, and you are hurt so very deeply.

What can you do?

You could choose to forgive. Forgiveness releases you from the victimization, but it doesn’t mean you must tolerate the betrayal. Forgiving your transgressor means you’re willing to not harbor ill will or seek retaliation or revenge. Forgiveness frees you from most of the negative impact but does not excuse their behavior and you needn’t submit yourself to putting yourself in a weakened position of having to allow the person who hurt you to continue to do so.

Forgiveness releases you from being the victim as you realize that while you can love or trust someone sometimes people are not able to maintain the same level of trust that you are able to have in others. You retain the learnings from the episodic adventure, hopefully discovering what part you played in the twisted tryst and become a better person for having survived such an affair.

As a victim of trust betrayal, it is easy to assign blame. You can blame the other person for doing you wrong, but this only prolongs your suffering. Accepting the blame, yourself, seeing the part you played in this betrayal of trust and taking full responsibility empowers you to be free from the whole debacle.

If you can muster up the imagery which understands that none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes, and understanding that we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. You have just witnessed someone doing the best they could with what they had, and you were in a sense, the shock absorber designated to endure this scenario because someone else may not have fared as well as you did. It could have been worse.

Then, there is time. They say it heals all wounds, and for the most part it does, but trusting that person again, could be another story altogether. Just as we choose who we love, we also choose who we will trust, and who we may learn to trust again, given time and personal growth on the part or both parties.

Those who trust expecting others to be trusted and betrayers are a harmonic match for each other. Only growing beyond expectations of the obedience and unlimited respect of another person will set you in a vibrational frequency above such human interaction. If you can achieve this, you cannot be betrayed because you are no longer attached to the preconceived idea that anyone owes you anything. You simply love and allow other to just “be.”

The higher perspective of trust betrayal sees no trust or betrayal. Any interpersonal problems you have are only a matter of selfish misperception. If we can perceive correctly that we are all “one,” each of us an integral part of the other, as we are all a part of the whole, we could never hurt or be hurt.

We are all God’s eyes and ears in human form experiencing life in different ways. No one is ever broken or bad, just experiencing this life in ways that may be different than you are in this moment of now.

This doesn’t mean that you will never be disappointed in someone else’s performance, ability, or lack thereof. It also doesn’t imply there is no responsibility nor consequences for one’s actions. It just means that you are less attached to your expectation which may be beyond another person’s capability, and you allow others just as much unconditional love as you might expect for yourself.

This is the higher perspective of trust betrayal which liberates you from the lower vibration of attachment to unreasonable expectations and keeps you safe, free, above and outside the cycle where others are trapped until they are able to raise their frequencies on their own.

The good news is, this is part of the evolution of humanity which our species is expanding into. It will mean the end of separation and war, leading to our oneness and peace.

For more information, see: Trust Betrayal dot com.

The Difference Between Support and Advice

When you’re feeling challenged in life, it’s good to talk to someone to get support and advice but keep your wits about you. While Proverbs asserts there is wisdom and success the counsel of many it’s important to know the difference between support and advice.

It’s not good for you, or anyone, to keep your thoughts and emotions bottled up inside where emotional wounds can fester, get infected and spread their destructive poison.

When you’re talking to friends, especially those who are good at being supportive and/or empathetic, you might mistake the good support of a friend for advice. Try to remember there may be a dramatic difference between support and advice.

Support validates your feelings, friends who empathize with you understand and can even feel your feelings about the subject at hand. They support how you feel and agree with your point of view. If this is confused as advice, it can cement your position. This can lock you into a single perspective on a particular issue, and while you may feel better in the interim, this is probably not serving your highest and best.

The caveat regarding confusing support with advice is an important distinction because doing so can lead to dire results and is often the basis of enabling someone instead of healthfully or positively advising someone you care about.

Advice is best when the advisor challenges your point of view or position, encouraging you to take a look at your situation from different perspectives. Instead of blanketly agreeing with your, feeling sorry for you, making fun of your situation, or devaluing the other participants, situations, or circumstances, they challenge you.

Good advice comes from those who ask you to consider what it might like to be the other players in your situation or circumstance?

Or how might you have done it better?

Most of the time, when you’re feeling upset, all you need to do is to talk to someone, in an effort to get it off your chest, blow off steam, or let out some frustration. A good friend can help you to laugh at or find humor in even the most tragic circumstances. You’re not looking for advice. In fact, if all you’re doing is to look for someone to listen to you, attempt to understand, or support you, and if they hit you with a barrage of advice, this can be offensive.

It may be abrasive, may even feel like an assault, feeling as though someone is trying to tell you what to do, or control you, when they give advice, when all you were looking for was someone to talk to. Someone who could listen to what you have to say without judgment or advice.

Keep this in mind when someone wants to talk to you. Unless they specifically ask you for advice, they might just be coming for you to talk. And in these moments, the best thing you can do is to actively listen to what he or she is saying, to be supportive, and attempt to understand or feel what it might be walking in his or her shoes.

This is especially hard for me. Since most of the time, when people come to me, they are seeking advice, I just assume that’s why people talk to me, so I start to advise, even when I was never asked for advice. This presumptive position is erroneous on my part, and I need to work on trying to understand and know the difference between establishing if someone wants advice or just wants to talk it out.

Especially when someone is in crisis, its best to start with active listening and supporting only offering five words of your own, then following up later with more objective approaches.

The basic rule of thumb is, if someone is just sharing their story or feelings with you, and they have not asked for your advice, they just want someone to listen and be supportive. It seems like an over-simplification, but it’s true. And it might be harder than it sounds.

Especially if a friend is sharing a story which makes you feel sorry for, upset, or you are empathetically feeling your friend’s feelings and you want to help. You want to offer advice in an effort to alleviate your friend’s pain or angst. Resist doing so if they have not asked you for your help. Your help is best offered in the form of listening and supporting, not trying to advise.

When you are ready to seek advice, it’s good to collect input and data from a variety of sources representing different ideas and perspectives before deciding on a course of action, this is where there is wisdom and success for those who consult with a multitude of advisors.

No one can tell you what to do, all they can do is to share their ideas or feelings based on their experience(s) from their own perspective. Seeing any challenge or situations from many vantage points is beneficial for you, and there is indeed wisdom in doing so.

Just the Same Only Different

Different people do things for different reasons. Sometimes they do the same things for very different reasons, so we (especially those in the help professions) have to be careful about stating anything affirmatively as being true 100% of the time because the truth of the matter is that nothing is true 100% of the time (or at least, very little).

One person might do something or display a certain characteristic, while another might do exactly the same thing only for very different reasons. Just the same, only different.

One person might hang up the phone in the middle of a heated conversation defensively because they are fearful that they might say something in their defense which might hurt the other person’s feelings, make matters worse, or utter something they think they might regret later. Another person might hang up the phone in the middle of a heated conversation as an act of aggression, purposefully with the intent of making the other person enraged. Just the same, only different.

In Star Wars Episode 8, Luke Skywalker and Ben Solo tell the same story very differently. Each one from their own perspective, each one being truthful based on their own experience and understanding. Just the same, only different.

For instance, I spend a little of my time helping victims of psychopaths because I know what they’re going through. Even though this type of work does not resonate well with the rest of my work, I do a little of it out of reverence for my own experience and my empathy for others having to deal with this kind of tragedy.

So, I have put out a book, put up a website, and created a video in an attempt to help these people as much as I can. One of the ways I try to help victims of psychopaths and potential victims is by trying to help them to detect a potential psychopath early on, so I list six characteristics that can help someone identify a potential psychopath quickly and easily in a brief 10-minute video in an attempt to help as many people as I can as quickly as possible, without making it so complicated.

Of course, this is in no way an official diagnosis which would take a professional a great deal of time and study reviewing over 100 characteristics and behavioral expressions. It is what it is, a simple tool that is quick and easy to use.

As you know, if you put yourself out there to do anything good, haters will come out in droves to try to knock you down. Based on that 10-minute video, I have been attacked and ridiculed, but I don’t take it personal, nor do I take it too seriously. I am also more resilient and am for the most part unmoved by their attempts to hurt my feelings, so I am grateful to be their target, which might defer their inclination to attack someone else who might be devastated by such a virtual assault.

Thankfully, I get praised both by victims and potential victims for having the intention to help and put the information out there for them to find, far more frequently than I get put down by people who are just doing the best they can with what they have, as am I.

If I say (as I do in this brief video) that psychopaths are charismatic, it does not imply that anyone who is charismatic is a psychopath, nor does it imply that all psychopaths are charismatic, to assume so would be at the very least unwise.

No matter what human characteristic or action you are reviewing from your perspective, you cannot know what is, or was, actually going on at the time because you can never truly know what is going on inside another person’s head. It is just not possible. Even if the person in question desperately wants you to know what it was like to be him or her in that moment in time, no matter how they try to convey the totality of this information to you, you cannot really know.

Each one of us is very different, and there are personality traits that in general seem to accumulate around certain types of people but these are only generalizations, and they are not 100% accurate in all people at all times. These are only general observations over time, tracked and cataloged by people who are doing the best they can to help others.

People who help other people as part of their work, ministry, or in the answering of their calling, use these categorization techniques to try to ascertain how best to help someone in an analytical approach to whatever is challenging them at the particular time, without having to invest hours trying to uncover the complex backstory of a potential client or patient.

“I killed a man.”

This is a powerful statement, which at first blush evokes an emotional response and might have you thinking about the death penalty, an eye for an eye, or some other such notion. Nonetheless, many people might find themselves in a particular situation where such an act might be prudent, part of your job description, or even financed by a municipal, federal or other government agency.

Depending on not only the facts and circumstances surrounding the killing, but what was going on in the mind of the person who committed the act at the time, and ever since, can be very different than you might be able to conceive of from your perspective.

Of course, actions which we make, based on decisions that we make, in every step that we take of our life’s journey need not be tragic or life-changing and can range from littering or parking in a handicapped parking spot to cheating on a test or speeding on the interstate, all for reasons you and I could not possibly know unless you or I are the transgressor.

Still, if you witness such an act from your own perspective, it’s easy to jump to conclusions, make assumptions, or judge someone for doing something that you might feel would be against your own personal knowledge, convictions, or morals.

Like on Facebook, one person might want to post on their relationship status, “In a relationship,” because they’re engaged to be married, while the other partner has nothing on their relationship status because… well, who knows. And what difference does it make?

There’s no need to get yourself all worked up over someone else’s life. They (just like you and I) are just trying to do the best they can with what they have. It doesn’t make them a psychopath, sociopath, obsessive-compulsive megalomaniac with narcissistic tendencies or any other conclusion that you might jump to, it just doesn’t really matter, unless you are being attacked personally, then… maybe… some other steps might need to be taken.

But, if it’s just in the fantasy world of social media, try to take it for what it is. What you see there does not define you, nor anyone else. Just have fun with it and try not to let yourself get out of sorts over it.

Don’t let it get to you.

If someone says something crazy about you on the Internet, don’t pay it any attention. It’s not for real. If there is no foundation for it, do not dignify someone’s rant or attack with a response, even if it’s brought up to you in a real-life situation by an uninterested third-party.

Keep this in mind: If you don’t want to be judged, refrain from judging others.

It’s okay. There is much love here for you.


Bullying the Unbullyable

Bullying is nothing new and more predominant in our society today, more than ever, and there is a growing awareness and movement which may reduce some of our inclination to bully others, even though our society is pretty much centered around bullying. While all this bullying is going on there are those who try bullying the unbullyable.

There’re very few of us who do not know what it’s like to be disrespected, intimidated, humiliated, threatened, judged, lorded over, or otherwise bullied by someone. And if you’re fortunate to have avoided exposure to being bullied over the course of life, you have certainly noticed bullying represented in the defense of different schools of thought or ideals.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the idea that we are the person we are as we define and/or perceive ourselves, but you are so much more than what you think you are. Even if you have an extremely expansive and evolved view of who you are, keep in mind that as you attempt to define all you are and who you could possibly be, you are only scratching the surface.

The truth of the matter is this, no one could ever hurt you, without your permission. This might be hard to wrap your head around unless you’ve faced the worst demons imaginable and defeated them. If you’ve read the words of others who have done so, such as Viktor Frankl’s memoir, Man’s Search for Meaning which delineates the unimaginable tortures survived as a Nazi human scientific experimental subject, you begin to get a sense of the possibilities of man’s persistence in the struggle for survival.

We all could learn the most powerful lesson from iconic survivors, like Frankl, who learned to understand the difference between who we really are and who we are as experienced via our human body. Only by embracing the life of that higher version of himself, was he able to separate his true self in genuine freedom from the surgical experimentation his physical body was enduring. While they were painfully destructive to his body, Frankl found solace outside his body and they could not hurt him there.

Once you understand this expanded separation from the you as experienced in your body and that higher version of yourself, you understand it is impossible for anyone to do anything to hurt you.

From this vantage point you can see the world as more of what it is, seeing it as it unfolds, yet separate from it, like watching a movie. In the case of an episodic bullying, for instance, you can see a hurting person striking out at the you in your body out of the pain and suffering from his tragic past. If it weren’t for being able to see the episode from this perspective, you might feel like a victim being bullied as trapped inside your body.

Unfortunately, most of us humans are unaware of our higher selves, never able to realize that we are watching, listening and experiencing this life’s journey of yours as it is being experienced by the you which resides in your body.

With a little practice, you will be able to experience life from this higher perspective and take back the power which was your birthright when you first emerged into this life, with the freedom and liberty to shift perspective at any time.

You, like Viktor Frankl, and countless others will be untouchable, unmoved, threatened, or hurt by anyone, ever, as you watch the details of your life unfold before your eyes, like an incredible drama of which you are the hero and the star.

The hero must persevere through challenges and gain knowledge from experiences to allow the emergence of the hero within enabling you to courageously overcome anything life has to throw at you as you grow and expand into your evolving self.

Others may make fun of you, not believe in you, judge you, falsely accuse you, disrespect you, even attack and intend to cause physical harm to your body, but you, the greater part of you, can never be hurt because you are invulnerable and therefore unbullyable.

One POV vs Perspective

Wouldn’t it be nice if everything in life were black and white, everything could be known or perceived from one point of view (POV)? Nonetheless, life being what it is, is best interpreted from multiple perspectives and seeing something from someone else’s POV can be not only beneficial but can add so much beauty and clarity (and sometimes curious confusion) to the overall landscape of life.

One POV vs Perspective

We see this a lot in the court room. More often than not, the plaintiff is asserting their point of view, while the defendant defends their point of view. Rarely, if ever, does the plaintiff conceded to the defendant’s point of view, even though there is always another point of view.

Wouldn’t be easier if everything could be seen and fully understood or appreciated from one point of view? Absolutely, but unless you’re a character in a story book, that is never going to be the case in the 3-D world where we live.

Someone who insists on only seeing everything from their own perspective we consider as self-obsessed and we refer to them as being narcissists, and they insist on making the world match their point of view. The advantage of doing so is that you have the ability to structure your world in such a way so as to find comfort in your own limited view of your black and white world.

How nice would that be?

For the rest of us in the real world, life is a little more complicated.

What if you were raised with the black and white view that

“Anyone who kills women and children should be killed”

And you were so passionate about it, that left to your own judgment, you might want to kill his own wife and children in front of him prior your executing him.

We all could appreciate that point of view, right?

So, I am working with this person who was experiencing conflict in his life because this is the way he felt. When he came to me he was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and who wouldn’t, if that very same person while carrying out orders in service of the USA, killed women and children. This would create great inner conflict in anyone with a heart.

Left to his own devices he may have taken his own life, just like 22 military personnel who commit suicide every day. War is a nasty business, and it does take its toll on those who are not lucky enough to be sociopaths and/or psychopaths.

PTSD is a horrible condition that locks a person into a certain limited point of view. Victims are so impacted by a particular experience (often tragic) that they find themselves unable to escape. An important part of the process includes being able to lift one’s view from outside yourself, far enough to see things from other points of view gives us perspective, but when you’re so immersed, it just seems like it’s too much to even conceive of.

Life, law, liberty, finding ways just to make it through each day, the pursuit of happiness, it’s all so very more complex than we might like it to be. But we can make it through much easier by trying to see things from other points of view to gain a better overall perspective.

Even so, since you can’t really know what goes on inside someone’s else’s head and/or heart, if they are so inclined, they could share their point of view with you. If you can empathetically see and/or feel from their perspective, you may find yourself getting a sense of what it might like to be that person in that moment, in a sense, walking a mile in that person’s shoes.

It is then that one realizes that life is not limited to our own perspective. What looks like one thing to one person might look like something completely different to someone else. To see an automobile accident from the highway looks completely different to someone actively involved in the accident. Even the experiences of two drivers involved in the same multiple-vehicle accident do not experience the accident the same way.

You could live a judgmental life, criticizing everyone who doesn’t see things like you do, maybe even ostracizing the dissidence, leaving you safely comforted by living your life like you want to, or you could consider becoming a part of the family at large.

It will take some effort on your part to do it, but it will be worth it, as you experience a greater connection with other people by integrating your life with theirs.

I know, the first objection from someone who’s already tried that interjects,

“I’ve done that before… and I got burned.”

Yes, that is the caveat; connecting with other people in a meaningful, transparent way will leave you vulnerable. You will be vulnerable, just as they will be. Once you start feeling a life with your feeling in tact and sharing those feelings with someone else, it allows your feelings to be hurt.

But it also opens the gates to love.

Trust me, love is worth it.

It’s up to you, though.

You Are the Center of the Universe

You are the center of the universe. Everything that you see, touch, taste, hear and smell, the rocks, the bugs, the birds all the creatures of the earth, from every atom to every star, the vast expanse of space, all the galaxies in the universe and all the life that is out there; all here for you, and without you would not one fragment of any of it exist.

You are the center of the universe
You are the center of the universe


For you, you are the observer and as the center of the universe nothing can be known without your witnessing, experiencing, considering or contemplating anything. Do you know it all? No. But do you sometimes feel like you do? Yes. And in that moment you know all that can be known in that time and space.

As you are open about all the possibilities which may exist in your universe, the universe tends to unfold, revealing more and more of itself to you in ways you may not have previously been able to imagine. The more you are open, the more information is vectored and attracted to your conscious, like a magnet, peeling back the layers of the façade which you previously considered was all there could be.

When you were younger, it was easy to wrap your mind around the idea of life being simple, uncomplicated, certainly not without its struggles or challenges, then one day t he light goes on; and you get a glimpse of what else is out there.

It is in that moment that you rise above the crowd, even for the briefest moment, to see… and you get the idea that maybe things are not as they appear. Things that you once highly regarded as truth, and may have been willing to fight or risk your life defending may not be real at all.

If you are able to resist the temptation to sink back into your place in the crowd, you remain open, and your consciousness expands and you begin to realize that you are the center of the universe. All of this, every part of existence and the hidden treasures of the mysteries which reveal themselves to you, do so because of you. If it weren’t for you, none of this could be known, and none of this would exist.

Then you slap your forehead (or someone else does) in hopes that you’ll snap out of it and go back to living the less complicated life as just another one of them. You might even try going backwards, and while some of us find ways to blend back into the herd of humanity, we know we are only living out our lives in stealth mode, because no one knows better than you that this is not all there is.

The world is full of activities, attention-grabbers, distractions, things that make you feel good for a moment, and things that make you feel bad, stress and strain in the struggle for survival amidst the herd. In fact, there is so much activity going on all around you 24/7 it’s a wonder you got to get a glimpse outside the maze even for a brief second at all. But you did.

But, you say, what about all the other people? They are all here just to support your universal experience. Each person, and any other material object and all that is immaterial, is all here for you and your unfolding life experience.

Sounds a little narcissistic, right?

Don’t bother with the inclination to align yourself with labels. Those labels are only for the sheep who allow themselves to be branded by them. You may have been one of them, but not anymore. (Not that you couldn’t find ways to comingle with them, for after all, they are only here for your amusement, enjoyment, understanding and growth.

You, your eyes, are the eyes of God in the center of the universe, experiencing all that can be from your unique perspective and vantage point. All of this is for you and you alone. Without you, none of this would exist.

But (here you go again),

“What about him? What about her?”

He or she is the center of his or her universe as well.


And you start to consider that these words were all in vain, for if I were the center of the universe, all of this is for me, for me only, and none of this would exist without me, then how can that apply to anyone else; that’s contradictory.

All the secrets of the universe appear to be incongruent with herd mentality. This feeling has been programmed into you since your birth, and the feeling that higher concepts couldn’t possibly be right is proof that the programming was successful, but it does not have to be a life-sentence. You can break free from the societal prison of your mind and embrace all that you could be and experience in this life, if you choose.

Is it easy? No.

But if you’re wondering what’s outside the box, maybe it’s time to take a peek?

There is so much authentic, meaningful life and amazing treasures waiting for you outside the box, and all of this was your birthright, which was snatched from you by society at birth.

Are you ready to take back you’re God-given-right to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place?

Don’t even think about it, unless you’ve got what it takes…

And you do.

Oh, yes, you do.

Observer Doctor Obb’s Perspective Point of View

If your life is causing you emotional or physiological pain, it can be overwhelming, so overwhelming in fact that you may lose your ability to effectively manage your life. In moments like these, it is worth considering looking at your life from a different perspective.

I mean, think about it. What if you weren’t you at all? What if you were a giant scientist looking at different lives and how they play out on planet earth through a microscope? You zoom into and out of various lives as research, entertainment or pure voyeurism, collecting data for whatever reason you like or deem necessary. What’s the scientist’s name? Doctor Obb.


From the perspective of the observer, Doctor Obb zooms into a particular life (let’s say it’s David’s life) to see what is going on there. Doctor Obb could view any detail of David’s life at any time or place to examine either details of a particular incident or zoom out a bit to see how a particular event fits into the grander scope of David’s life.

Think a different perspective or point of view doesn’t make a difference?
Let’s zoom in and give it a go, just for fun.

Thanks to Alan Thicke’s younger brother, Todd, Bob Saget and Tom Bergeron, America’s Funniest Home Videos taught us how to look at tragic human suffering as something humorous, to be ridiculed and taunt other people as, “stupid,” while laughing our asses off.


From the perspective of the individual featured in the clip depicting their enormous (and embarrassing) fail caught on video, the event was tragic at the moment of impact. The reality of the situation was never more apparent to the star of the video that this might be his or her last moments on planet earth.

While life and death hung in the balance, the person holding the video camera (or cell phone cam) was laughing at the tragic mishap and may have even called the person whose life was at stake for this caught-on-video moment names or made fun of their lack of intelligence while laughing so hard they could barely keep the recording device focused on the suffering.

In the moment, the person featured in the video clip thought death may have been imminent. As they lay in pain, they notice their friend holding the camera laughing uncontrollably; even though in pain and with the thought of facing death, the injured party starts to join in, laughing, at his or her incredible faux pas.

Interestingly, had the person in pain been totally alone, there is a greater chance of actual end of life being the outcome.

Doctor Obb wannabee Todd Thicke and his producers scanning thousands of video clips run across the clip in question. While having some degree of empathy for the person who suffered the pain of the affair, they can’t help but laugh and think, “This might be good for ratings.”

Sometime later, both the star and the videographer as sitting in the audience of America’s Funniest Home Videos with the chance of winning a cash prize for the recording of the mishap watch the clip played before a live audience and millions of television viewers all over the world and join in laughter seeing the humor in the whole affair.

The live audience members are removed another level of observation, so to them it is even more funny to them than it is to the individuals who actually participated in the clip. Another level removed are the spectators watching their televisions (or other media devices) who are able to fully view, yet totally engage from any responsibility because the person who was hurt is not in the room.

By the time the clip makes it to the Internet and social media all bets are off and haters can fully disregard any dignity or humanity as it relates to the individual hurt in the event and can flame-away with their disrespectful remarks full-force.

Dr. Obb sees it all from his off-planet point of view and takes notes.

You, at any point in time, can zoom out to any of these levels of perspective and review the events of your life in review or in real time. You can choose to view any event (or portion) of your life as the participant or the observer.

If you choose to remain restricted by only the view of participant, you will likely subject yourself to a great deal of inner pain and angst, which is likely to affect your quality of life and reduce your potential healthy longevity.

Something to think about…
… from a different point of view.

What You See is What You Get

Two people look at the same scene, one person sees one thing, the other sees something similar but completely different.

What you see is what you get see the best feel good

This has always bothered me somewhat, especially in the light of my law enforcement experience, when the report representing what someone has seen determines a person’s future.

It’s also disconcerting when someone says “I’ll believe it when I see it with my own eyes.”

More and more I’m thinking that our sight is not all its cracked up to be.

If you add the audio portion, certainly that can add a more credible view… Then, again, someone can say a sequence of words, and I hear something quite different from what the speaker spoke, even though what I heard was a correct representation of the actual words.

I’ve had people thank me following a talk, for specific insights that they received from my presentation. I’m surprised when they echo my words back to me, and the impactful message that they received, was nowhere to be found in my notes or presentation.

Then, I hear people say, “Trust your feelings,” which I encourage people to trust, possibly even more than what they see. Yet, for me, my feelings often betray me, not correctly representing the facts.

It’s as though truly objective perception is impossible from within.

Any single witness may be better than no witness at all but with many witnesses (maybe a hundred) one might be able to extract a reasonable representation of an event… but then again, what is the intention of those reporting the incident?

The group, entity or individual(s) collecting the various reports and extrapolating the facts may have a particular expected outcome that skews the end result.

Shifting Perception

If you can conclude that anything has an incomprehensible number of various interpretations, is it reasonable to assume that you – and any point in time and space – can choose to see anything from a different perspective?

How to Shift Your Perception

Using your imagination, you can change your perspective by putting yourself inside the mind and body of the other person. What must it be like for them in that moment? Can you imagine (or maybe even feel) how they are feeling?

Shifting my view to an aerial perspective is often helpful, to imagine what this incident would look like from without myself, like from the view of an overhead news helicopter.

When Should You Initiate the Shift?

Your feelings can alert you that a change of perspective is in order. Ask yourself,

How am I feeling?

If you are not feeling good, it is likely the time for a change of perspective.

Feel good see the best perspective good feelings

Feeling good could very well be the secret to continued enthusiasm, success and bliss in life.

Isn’t it true, when you feel good, you feel as though you’re on the top of the world, you feel good; and feeling good attracts more feeling good.

How good can you feel?

If what you see is what you get, then choose to change what you see.

Accept this challenge:

Choose to find new ways to see only the best, in ways that make you feel good, and let those good feelings grow exponentially.

Feel Good

I see you feeling so good, so much better than you’ve ever felt before.

How much better does it get?

You tell me