Congratulations, you turned into everything you hate in a man, only you’re not one. I hope that makes you feel good, though I know it doesn’t because it is unsustainable and doesn’t look as good on you as you might think.
While there is nothing wrong with these words when used as affirmations to gain strength and courage when in recovery from an abusive relationship, the truth is, you probably do desire someone with whom has the emotional ability to mirror your own.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with not needing a man, or being independent, but if there is angst fueling your words, then it best to avoid any men that you might attract because they are likely to be the same kind of men you’re trying to avoid.
That’s how the law of attraction works. And for God’s sake, don’t follow up with any version of, “I want a man who can take care of me,” for fear of appearing to be psychotic. It’s completely natural though because we all want someone to be there for us, to understand us, to love us with as much love as we could offer. That’s the way God intended it.
Don’t worry, I know what you meant when you said, “I am a strong, independent woman. I don’t need a man.”
What you’re saying is that, “I don’t want to walk in the footsteps of women in the generations that went before. I don’t want to be a slave or subject myself to being treated abusively, like my ancestors.” (Maybe there is some connection to abuse which you may have suffered in the past at the hands of a Neanderthal.)
But when you say, “I am a strong, independent woman. I don’t need a man,” you have made the same aggressive, exclusive, overbearing statement, which possesses all the toxicity that the kind of man your trying to avoid would have.
You’ve exerted your authority over the masculine and you’ll show him, you’d rather be alone than entertain the likes of any man. Well, except for one who would honor and cherish me, not treat me like a piece of meat, or a subservient housewife. Someone who wouldn’t victimize nor abuse me.
What you want is a relationship that is honorable, respectful, and full of love.
So, where do you start?
If you want real love, you have to start finding the love you seek from inside yourself, which means letting go of the negative feelings, and replacing them with compassionate, caring, non-judgmental feelings of love for yourself and others.
The work of finding inner love is not as easy as it might sound. You might think, “Well, of course, I love myself,” but really being in that place is quite different than you might think of at first blush.
You’ll know when you’re making progress, because you’ll be able to think about men (even those who sent before) without the negative feelings that were associated with those thoughts previously.
That’s when you’re ready to reach out and touch someone, not just anyone, and not the kind of men that you were attracted to in the past, you already know what to expect there. You will be looking for a man of substance with whom you can connect heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul.
If you’re serious about inviting true love into your life, there are many ways to get from here to there. You might consider participating in an Awakening to True Love Workshop coming to a city near you.
Whatever you do, say goodbye to ever being a victim and finding all the love you can from within and someone who can share your love and theirs in kind.
All the love you’ve ever wanted is waiting for you.