I would like to think that you are the kind of person who might respect me enough to treat me in the manner that I would like to be treated. So, this is how I want you to treat me if you are interested. And if so, I would be eternally grateful.
- Be Polite
Really, just being polite goes a long way. I am not impressed by how quickly and effectively you can put someone down. Just try to be nice, if you can, that would be nice.
- Respect Me
I know we are different people and we come from different backgrounds so you and I may have different points of view. Please respect me enough not to call me stupid, or assert your superiority over me. Disrespecting me is a pretty good way to shut down any listening skills I might have for what you have to say.
- Try to Understand Me
I may not use the same words as you do. I might not say things the right way. Please don’t jump to conclusions and assume that I said something wrong or feel like I am confronting you or attacking you because I am not like that. If you are having trouble understanding me, please do not hesitate to ask for clarification for I long to be understood by you.
- Don’t be Defensive.
As we continue to communicate with each other I am bound to say something that may upset or be offensive to you. Please understand that I have no intention to offend you in any way, but I am only human. Please don’t strike out at me in defense of something that might be a misunderstanding. It just makes us both feel bad. Consider giving me the benefit of the doubt, or ask me for more information if you are in doubt.
- Be Trustworthy
Of course, I don’t expect to be able to trust you with my innermost details because I don’t know you that well, yet, but I am likely to assume that you are at least somewhat trustworthy, so I will open up to you. Based on our mutual trust experience, I will trust you more, and be able to be more transparent with you as we get to know each other better.
- Remain Confidential
If I tell you something in confidence, please keep it confidential, just between you and me. There is no accident that this immediately follows trust as they are intimately connected. Please, if I have intimated something personal to you, keep it confidential. If there is any question, ask me. I will be okay if you share some things about me, but I may have prequalifications, like not using certain intimate details or using a different name, etc. It would be nice if you checked with me first.
- Have Some Empathy
If you become aware of some inner struggle that I am having, instead of jumping to conclusions, trying to fix me, or judging me, take a moment and ask yourself, what might I be feeling? What must it be like to walk a mile in my shoes? And have some empathy.
- Allow Me to Find My Way
Please do not try to make me be like you or try to beat me up for not believing or being like you. I promise, if you’re treating me with the previous considerations, I will hear you. I will listen to you, but I may not take action on what you say immediately or on demand. I am a good person and I am in the habit of reviewing data regularly and making adjustments in my life accordingly, and I don’t take this lightly. So tell me your thoughts and give me space to think about it.
9. Celebrate My individuality
I can pretty much guarantee that I am not exactly like anyone you’ve ever met, and I like that. I like me. I’m actually very fond of me and proud of who I am, where I’ve come from, and where I’m going. You might even come to like the idea that we’re different from each other, adding a little spice to life. I’d love it if you could support me and where I am today, in my particular uniqueness and individuality.
10. I Am Constantly Evolving
I hope you understand and appreciate that I am always open to new perspectives and ideas. I am constantly growing and changing on my own, and it occurs to me that you might be the same way. Whether you are or you are not, I honor your right to be you in any way that you want to.
And Here’s the Deal
And here’s the deal that I will make with you today. If you can understand that this is how I want you to treat me, and you try to honor me in this communication and relationship that we share, no matter how casual or deep it might be, I promise you this:
That I will do everything in my power to treat you the same way, or any other way that you might like to be respectfully treated, to the best of my ability.
The Golden Rule
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
(Luke 6:31 and Matthew 7:12)