Dealing with Disappointment

So, there you are living your life, making progress, feeling confident, satisfied and happy about your life; where’s it’s going, you’re at peace with where you’ve been and it feels good to be you as you blaze your own trail as your train rolls along the tracks of your life.

Then something unexpected happens, throwing you off balance, derails your train or at least slows your roll…

Then what?

It’s not unreasonable to maintain certain expectations as you make your way through life. With the best intentions, you have ideas about the way things should progress and when things don’t turn out the way you expected it is understandable that you would be disappointed.

It happens to all of us, and when it happens, we (who possess a level of emotional sensitivity) can start to feel bad about what happened. Disappointment comes in many shapes, colors and flavors and the span of emotions that one can be drawn to (or lost in) run the gamut of those less than positive.

There you are amidst all the emotional discomfort, wondering what happened? You didn’t ask or plan for this, nonetheless, here you are.

So, what are you gonna do about it?

I’m blessed to have been living my life a while, and I must admit – although I am surprised by unexpected events and outcomes (just like anyone else) – I have developed a propensity to put myself in a particular state of mind, as soon as possible (sometimes sooner, sometimes later, but I get there).
While others may have the propensity to stop, drop and roll, I on the other hand, stop, find and look.

disappointment stop the drama find the treasure look for something better

Stop

How much I have in my emotional savings account determines how graceful I will be in stopping forward motion in this moment. If I’ve fairly well-stocked, I can put on my turn signal and look for a nice, safe place to pull over. If my account’s a little lean, I might just stomp on the breaks as hard as I can, without caution or forethought. But, I realize that further forward motion will just take me further from where I want to be, increasing my recovery time, so stop the drama; and if someone else is involved – don’t take it personal – realize we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

Find

As quickly as possible I try to find the blessing – that good thing – that is hidden from my conscious view; blocked by my emotions. It’s something that I’ve learned from my vast variety of life experience, that everything that doesn’t work out the way I wanted it to, had some higher reason. Some learning, some neglected awareness, some latent skill, some reason to seek another vantage point, further education or to keep me safe from a fate far worse than disappointment.

Find the treasure, message or meaning hidden amidst the chaos.

Look

This is my favorite part, and as I get surprised when something doesn’t work out the way I planned (or expected), as soon as possible, I start looking around for something amazing to be lurking in the wings.

If there’s one thing I have learned in my life, it is this:

Everything that I thought was bad for me – even thought would destroy me because there was no way I could see to consider surviving such a horrific event – led me to something else so amazing!

Had I continued down the path I was headed, there would be no way for me to be in the right place, at the right time, for such an incredible experience or opportunity; no way.

So, these days, when I’m caught off-guard, I start looking around with heightened anticipation, because I know something so crazy good for me is on its way.

… and it’s getting closer… I can feel it, hear it, smell it… almost taste and see it (though not fully present or in view, yet)…

But that’s just me.

It’s not for everybody.

If that sounds too far from your reality, I will give you more practical tips t deal with disappointment tomorrow. Sound good?

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