Awkward Desire to Help

You see someone struggling and you feel compassionate toward them and you’re vacillating in that awkward zone… You want to offer your heartfelt compassion, support, input, or assistance but you’re obviously feeling uncomfortable and discombobulated. You find yourself struggling with an awkward desire to help in some way. What can you do when you want to help someone who hasn’t asked for help?

You must first recognize that you are under no obligation to help anyone who is struggling. In fact, your offering assistance to someone who is struggling through a difficult challenge or process can hinder their propensity to learn an invaluable skill or far greater lesson leading to greater opportunity and change in his or her life.

Keep this in mind before you reach out to someone in an attempt to help them but always find a way to communicate that you love and/or care for them. You can gently nudge them or make suggestions of things they might try but be careful not to offer to do it (whatever it is) for him or her.

Remember that no one is broken or wrong. Everyone is on their own divine path. You can probably think back to times in your life that were very difficult. You might have even thought you could not possibly live through such a difficult experience, yet you did. Not only did you live through it but going through the experience opened the door to new possibilities and a better life for you. You wouldn’t want to rob someone else from a similar experiential expansion.

If your heart is pure and filled with compassion (not judgment) you can offer a little something-something to help him or her through this awkward moment in time.

I have learned (the hard way) that you cannot help the people you love and care about by taking them under your wing and supporting them by doing more for themselves than they are willing to do with themselves. This also applies to the coach/client relationship. You can show them the way, but you are doing both yourself and your client a disservice by trying to do it for them.

You can help someone with all the best intentions and might be surprised to find out the person you’re trying to help doesn’t value or want your help at all. Try not to let your feeling get hurt if someone doesn’t appreciate your offer to help. Remember that it’s not about you. It’s about the person you’re feeling compassionate about. Don’t make it about you. Bless them, and let them find their own way, and don’t take it personally.

Everyone is entitled to their own perspective. You can’t possibly know what is going on inside someone else’s head, and in their world, they may be working their ass off, exerting all the effort and abilities they have dealing with their own issues and battling their own demons. Maybe what they need is the space to deal with their own issues.

Also, consider that everyone is different. This person might be in their own Nirvana, which might look like hell to you, and you might be feeling sorry for them because you would feel awful if you were in that situation. Allow them to enjoy the place there are in if that’s what they want. To expect them to see their life from your perspective would be abusive.

Sometimes a person can find comfort in their painful situation. Being in this difficult place in their life might be a powerful part of their identity and personality. They might feel safe and secure (as odd as that might appear to you) when they are in this situation. They may not want to change or see any need to change the life they have become so accustomed to.

In some cases, someone who could really use a hand might not accept it from a person who cannot identify with their current status. If they are going through something and they know you have no idea about what they are going through, they might be unlikely to accept any assistance from you, even reject you. Again. Don’t take it personally. Bless them and allow the right person to be attracted to them who might be able to understand better where they are and what they’re going through.

It’s not your job to save the world.

You cannot, and you are never expected to, save everyone.

We can have incredible resources, skills and special abilities to help other people, but we must focus on those to whom we are vibrationally a match to. Even so, don’t be too enthusiastic about helping someone more than they are willing to help themselves.

Feel free to help, as you are inspired to do, but match their efforts to help themselves side-by-side, step for step, nothing more, love and bless them, no matter what.