Once you get to a point in your journey when you are attaining a level of personal integrity, you also begin to gain a desire to be open and honest – which is a good thing – but it doesn’t take long ‘til you find that telling the truth and being totally honest can come at a very high price.
Being totally honest is an authentic urge as you continue to grow as being true to yourself makes you want to be truthful to others also. One would think that since being brutally honest with yourself would indicate that being brutally honest with others would be just as effective. Yeah, not so much.
The more radically open and honest you are the fewer people will be attracted to you. Unless your goal is to completely isolate yourself from society, then you might consider tempering your honesty with a snippet from the Hippocratic Oath, “To do no harm.”
Otherwise, an unbridled purveyor of truth might be considered as arrogant, self-centered, antagonistic, whacked (crazy) and possibly deserving of being safely locked away in an asylum. To counter public opinion about the truth you desire to share, simply being considerate of others can be a highly effective approach when applied to communication that might otherwise be difficult or hurt someone’s feelings.
This is a skill wielded by the savvy therapist, to be able to challenge the patient with contrarian ideas in order to break a particular pattern, without approaching the idea from a full frontal attack. Some empathy in this situation will go a long way. Consider the person you’re involved in the conversation with, use a bit of imagination and try to put yourself in his or her shoes. How does it feel to be that person, in this moment, with respect to the life he/she has lived up to this point?
Keep in mind, you want to tell the truth without overawe and do no harm in the process.
Simply taking a moment to observe your breathing, connect with your heart, thoughtfully and purposefully setting the intention to effectively and sincerely communicate heart-to-heart prior to sharing will help to set the tone for a potentially abrasive interaction.
To avoid the pitfalls or consequences of being blunt, a more ‘round the bush approach may be a more affective tactic, especially if you would like to avoid alienation, desiring a more positive outcome.
As you become more open, honest and intimate your thoughts in a sincerely truthful manner, you find increasing feelings of satisfaction, joy and fulfillment from this advanced perspective. Your whole outlook begins to improve, as does your lifestyle, you live a healthier and enjoy a longer lifespan.
If you can learn how to honestly tell the truth with respect and honor for the life and perspective of the recipient, you will be respected as an authentic person who speaks with authority and integrity, while being kind and sensitive.
The more you do it, the less intimidated you are about sharing and the more courageous you become about intimating important details to others.
When your kindness predicates your sharing honestly, you come from a place of love and compassion and people with whom you are interacting feel as though you care about them, when the very same information would have been rejected and you shunned, without first setting your authentic intention.
Still, there will be times when even with the best intentions and efforts, your honesty will be rejected, but that says more about the state of the receiver than you. Some people cannot handle the truth and build protective walls around themselves to disallow any ideas that may seem incongruent to them.
Allow them to be where they are. After all, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.
Maybe sometime in the future, they will be more receptive, depending on their life’s journey.
In the meantime, tell the truth, understand there will be consequences and minimize the negative ones.
In all honesty and love.