Tag: giving

Cancer of Giving

‘Tis better to give than receive.

That’s what they say.

Cancer of giving give from abundance not lack 20 ways to fund giving

So, the most benevolent of us often finds ourselves giving and giving upon giving for the benefit of others, while we sacrifice ourselves to death. It is not uncommon for these massively unselfish individuals who would give you the shirt off their back, the shoes off their feet and even their rent money to develop cancer and die. In some cases, the cancer and the idea of passing from life to death is comforting because the patient feels as though their reward for their selflessness waits on the other side.

Yet, not all who give of themselves unselfishly get sick and/or contract cancer, some actually are flourishing as others deteriorate suffering from a variety of ailments.

So what’s the difference?

You

You are the difference. How do you feel when you give?

Givers who give from abundance and joy give from a cup that is full… and they may have multiple full cups to give from. These are they happy, healthy givers. Giving from one cup – which may be low – may be emotionally financed from another overflowing cup.

In this way, you could have two people both with the same amount of money in the bank. They both give all that they have in their bank account to help a family who has lost everything due to their home being burned to the ground. One is enthusiastic, energized and happy about the gift, while the other is discouraged, depleted and depressed about the gift. Though I have used money as an example. I’m referring to giving of anything, like time, attention, talent, belongings, location, etc…

Those who are constantly asking, “What can I do for you?” and those who are inclined to offer unsolicited acts of kindness are superheroes in our society. But if your giving is not making you feel good, then you may be practicing unhealthy giving and this unhealthy giving could be killing you.

Self-sacrificially giving to make you feel better about yourself (if you’re not feeling well, suffer from feelings of inadequacies or unworthiness). while there may be a temporary surge of feeling better (it does make you feel good to help someone else) the longer term effects can exasperate your health and wellness.

All resources are not created equal, some balance sheets have a greater value than others but combined they could represent a healthy portfolio from which healthy giving could flow, even if one account is low, the other accounts can subsidize the giving.

20 Ways to Fund Your Giving

These various accounts represent things other than the cup the gift originates from. In example, here are twenty cups that could help you finance your giving to others, such as (1) Food/Shelter/Clothing, (2) Self-confidence/esteem, (3) Optimistic Outlook on Life, (4) Good Health, (5) Loving Family, (6) Good Friends, (7) Cuddly Pets, (8) Transportation, (9) A Good Job, (10) Low (or no) Debt, (11) Worry-free, (12) Creative Thought Processes, (13) Enthusiastic Hobby and/or Ongoing Projects, (14) Reading Good Books, (15) Trying or Learning New Things, (16) Extra Time on Your Hands, (17) You Treat Yourself First, (18) Open to Receiving, (19) Happiness (present and past) and (20) Gratitude.

It is the combined balance of all these accounts which fuels your ability to participate in healthy giving.

If you are giving due to lack of any of these accounts, the results can be destructive to your body, soul and spirit.

Does it mean to stop giving?

Well, if your giving is killing you or making you susceptible to attracting cancer or other diseases, it may be time to cut back on your giving until you’re able to build up balances in other accounts first.

This is an exciting journey.

Manage what you can in the best way possible for living a better life.

What Can I Do for You?

You are such a blessing to others offering love, support and assistance… Greeting others with, “What can I do for you?”

You are such a blessing to others offering love support and assistanceThere are those of us who come to this planet with a servant’s heart. That is to say that we thrive when serving others. I am a person whose optimal performance shines when assisting someone to achieve their highest and best and for me, in my work, little is more exciting than being in the room when someone achieves a breakthrough or epiphany.

Many occupations in our society are being performed by those who perform at their best, engaging all their skills for the betterment of another. You find these mild-mannered super heroes in jobs, like child care, church work, clergy, coaching, consulting, counselors, emergency response personnel, firefighters, military service, missionaries, nursing and health care, social workers and volunteers, etc…

The persons, who are born with a servant’s heart, are willing to put aside their own personal wants, needs and desires aside so that others can survive or thrive. You will find many of them serving in a full-time capacity and volunteering their free time to help even more.

I am quite impressed that a firefighter chooses an occupation that requires their running into a burning building to help whomever might need their assistance getting out – and they love it – this is their calling. Now, I might run into a burning building to save someone, but I would not want to have to work a job that had me doing that all day long.

Fortunately for us, there are those whose hearts and skills are more attuned to service work, relishing and performing tasks for the greater good. Although someone who tends to be a giver, they can be easily taken advantage of and it is impossible for these people to give to everyone, all the time, without risk to their ability to perform their practice at all.

It is in our best interest to monitor these high functioning service workers to see if they appear to be giving too much. Are they depleting their personal resources? Are they being manipulated by abusers or users who will drain (or monopolize) their resources? Are they sacrificing their own needs too much (rest, eating right, health maintenance, time with their own family, etc…)?

Let’s keep a watchful eye out for those who might have a tendency to sacrifice all, and help them to notice that it’s okay to take some time out for themselves, to take a break, to eat a good meal, to spend time with loved ones, to take a vacation, a spa day – do something fun once and a while. Because oftentimes, the best givers are maintaining such a high level of giving, that they fail to take a moment to look at their own lives.

These mostly unsung super heroes receive expressions of gratitude and sometimes recognition or praise for their courageous acts of service but there is nothing more meaningful to someone who gives, and gives… as hearing those few words that they speak often when arriving on scene or meeting someone:

What can I do for you?

To those givers – who are giving your all – for the greater good, I honor your service.

And don’t be offended, when someone tries to get you to take a look at your own life, encouraging you to take some time to recharge and rejuvenate, so that you are better for continued service, without the threat of burnout (or worse).

Where would we be without you?

Keep an open mind and cherish those who support you in kind.

Loving you and all that you do