How to Get Over Betrayal by Family

Who would have thought you would be betrayed by your own family? These are the people you trusted, you grew up with, they’re supposed to have your back, not stab you in the back. Regardless, welcome to the real world with one hell of a wakeup call, so now you need to know how to get over betrayal by family members.

You must come to grips with the fact that betrayal by family members is quite common and has been going on for years. This is a key component of some of the greatest stories and melodramas of all time. There’s something terribly unsettling with not being able to trust your own family.

Who is better qualified to break you down and expose you for every weakness you have, or any misstep you’ve ever made but the people who know you best and have been the closest to you. Even the bible warns of it, “your worst enemies will be the members of your own family” (Matthew 10:36) and if that wasn’t enough, try this on for size, “Even those closest to you–your parents, brothers, relatives, and friends–will betray you. They will even kill some of you” (Luke 21:16).

While you might expect to be the victim of betrayal of friends or most anyone, it never occurs to you that your family might be the ones who turn out to be the most toxic individuals, or your enemies, until it happens to you and you’re left having to deal with betrayal.

You can rack your brain and tear up your heart by trying to figure out why, so to put your mind at ease, so you can get on to the business of dealing with the betrayal by your family, one of the most common reasons you might be betrayed by family is jealousy.

If you’re in apposition to enjoy life more fully and completely than your family member who feels he or she is more deserving, they might be tempted to throw a wrench into the machine to cause your potential success to fail. (You might remember this if you have siblings, as there is a constant struggle for familial support.)

A family member might want to knock you down a peg or two in an effort to even the playing field or even usurp their authority over you, as if to prove you couldn’t possibly make it without them (and they will destroy you, if they have to, to prove it).

Your parent, sibling, or other member of your family might just be a control freak and seek to control you and many areas of your life. Just try exerting your own independence and watch them rear their ugly heads to take notice and knock you down. Then kick you while you’re down there just to teach you a lesson.

Then there are the haters, those negative people who can’t help themselves, their first thought is to attack anyone, for no apparent reason, just to spread the hate. They are hardwired to be hatemongers and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Regardless of why you have been betrayed by your family, nothing hurts worse than being betrayed by those who are closest to you leaving heartfelt wounds and scars, and you must take steps to protect yourself from this kind of abuse.

Do not waste your energy arguing and fighting with the family who has betrayed you.

If you want to know how to get over betrayal by family members, you have to distance yourself from the abuse. In a sense, you must disavow and relation to the members of your family who have turned against you. I don’t mean to lie to yourself, or anyone else about being related to them, but you must stop treating them like family if they have posted up to treat you as their enemy.

You must treat betraying family members just like anyone else who might abuse of betray you. You need to protect yourself from the abuse and not create opportunities for them to further abuse, trash, or attack you in any way.

When you are attacked by a member of your family, you must treat this person just as you would any other toxic person in your life.

There is life after betrayal. Bless them because they are your family, but walk away, and brush their dirt from your shoes. Don’t look back, and just keep walking.

A genuine family member would support you in all that you do, and bless you as you make your own way. They want to see you become the best person you can be and enjoy the best life you could have, even help you in making it happen.

Real family loves and supports you no matter what you’re going through, in your best moments, and those less glamorous, and they love you just the way you are.

If not, you must protect yourself.

4 thoughts on “How to Get Over Betrayal by Family”

  1. Absolutely. My sister betrayed me and one of my children. Our last parent is ill and while our mother is alive I will be civil. After that I want that poison gone. Have told a few people what she has done to try and understand why. Why? I don’t like to think so but she sees my success as something she can never achieve because she is lazy. If she can’t achieve success she has to tear me down.

    1. May be she is upset with you with something. Betrayal happens when someone hurts someone. For eg. My brother whom I loved the most threw me put of house at 12.30 because he got married. Not only he stole my money, he mistreated me. Now, I wake up everyday wanting him to rot in hell. If I had a chance, and I will, I will do tit for tat. I will also emotionally hurt him by hurting his own family. These people should know what pain is.

  2. I’m crying after reading this. My whole life I tried to be the good daughter but the harder I tried the more my family beat up on me. I was the scapegoat. Every single success I had was met with name calling or criticism or beatings. Even as an adult, I was treated differently from my siblings. There was one point in my life where my sister betrayed me and my children then I found out through my father, so matter of factly, that he and my mother were also behind it. One could say I was conspired against. The worst part about this was I was just on the crux of ‘making it’ it a very competitive industry. They sabotaged me so badly that I was in financial ruin and couldn’t attend a huge presentation for one of my projects. I missed something so special to me. I had been working on it for years. But that wasn’t the end of it. Even from afar they would call people up and tell them what a rotten mother I was. My mother died recently and nobody bothered to tell me. Not that I shed a tear since I can’t imagine my worst enemy doing what she did to me throughout my childhood. But again, my siblings probably raided the house. She died without ever saying she was sorry or was proud of me or loved me. This happens to a lot with people. And since we still go by ‘honour your parents’, people don’t talk about the abuse and betrayal at the hands of their own family. This leads to self blame and a continuation of attracting sabatours. I told my doctor, I get better treatment from strangers than my own family. Knowing my history, she said she wasn’t surprised. In my case, I will probably never see any of my family again. Which, logically, I know is the right thing for me, but I still need to give up and truly mourn the dream of ever having a loving father and siblings.

    1. I know your pain all too well. I’m sorry that you are going thru this. 25 years ago my family decided to stop having contact with me because I chose to live a different life than what they had planned for me. I didn’t follow their rules. I was married and had a career and a home of my own. I was devastated and tried everything I could to communicate and ask why. I got no response for a year and then my sister called and said she missed me and we resumed our relationship. Fast forward to today. I found out yesterday that my sister, who I have trusted, has been lying to me. She has pretended to not having anything to do with my mother and two brothers. I haven’t heard from her in a week and went to her daughters Facebook page and found that my sister and family are on vacation with my brothers and mother. I’ll admit, it hurt. I now have no family. I’m not going to even accept her calls and I feel no need to explain myself. Sometimes the people whom we think are the safest aren’t. I’m 61 years old and seeing other people enjoying their families always makes me a bit sad. One thing I can advise is to take care of yourself. Know that you have purpose in this life and are loved. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care. You deserve only the best.❤️

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