emotional release method

How to Stop the Latent Abuse

You’ve been in an abusive relationship or a victim of abuse, and you’ve stopped the abuse. How do you stop the latent abuse? You found a way out, you were rescued, or you rescued yourself. Then you discover it didn’t stop the abuse. The abuse continues, it lingers. It digs at the deepest parts of you.

You’re like, “I’ve done all the work, I’m safe and free. Yet, it’s like I am still in the midst of it. Will I ever be free?”

This traumatic connection to your abuser allows the abuse to continue over time through an uncontrollable series of secondary emotional responses which are nearly, if not as, severe as when you actually were submitted to the abuse.

This latent abuse persists over time and can be more damaging than the abuse which triggers it because you may have only suffered the abuse once, but the latent abuse tarries and further abuses you over and over again.

This fits the definition of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). When you suffer abuse at the hands of another, you are connected to that person. While you may be able to save yourself from the abuse by separating yourself from the abusive environment or situation, you are continually traumatized or re-abused by the thought of the abuse, or when triggered by anything remotely associated with the abuse.

If you are unable to cut the cord of this emotional connection to your abuser, he or she will have continued control over you for the rest of your life, causing you to suffer even more, even though he or she is not even there.

Most abusers do not take satisfaction over this continued abuse because they don’t even think about it, but if you’ve suffered at the hands of a psychopath, the continued abuse you suffer over time is their badge of honor. Psychopaths pride themselves in being able to continually hurt someone over a period of time, for life, even more so.

If you are the victim of latent abuse, the best advice to follow is to seek out a coach or counselor with some experience in helping others overcome the continued suffering of latent abuse or PTSD. This is serious business and there are hundreds of ways to deal with the lingering effect of latent trauma, some methods are more effective than others.

They key is to enable you to cut the cords which connect your abuser to you once and for all. When you suffer abuse at the hands of another, you are emotionally connected to the monster within your abuser. To truly be free, you must not only separate yourself from your abuse, but you must cut the emotional cord which connects you to the monster.

You can experience relief from latent trauma by using my Emotional Release Method (ERM). You don’t have to seek out professional help, and you can enjoy freedom from the emotional connection to your abuser. You will be able to recall the events from the past that traumatized you, without having to feel all the emotional pain associated with those memories.

Whatever method you use to cut the cord of emotional abuse, you will know you are truly free when you can recall the events without feeling the pain associated with the abuse. Then, and only then, will you be free to heal the emotional wounds and grow unencumbered by your abuser.

If you are like others who have suffered abuse in the past, you may ask yourself, “Why would I be subjected to such abuse?”

“Why?” is a disempowering question. Why stops all forward momentum for growth and can even put you in reverse (See: WHY = STOP + Reverse). Though, you might consider this:

No one is more qualified than you to reach out and help someone else from suffering this kind of abuse. In a sense, you’re being subject to this abuse has equipped you to help others who have suffered similar trauma.

This is a part of your journey.

Imagine turning all this latent trauma into a powerful weapon for good. Your experience can empower you to be a force for good, empowering others to change their lives, heal, grow, enjoy a better life, and make the world a better place.

How to Release Pent-up Emotions

If you really want to live a better life, your best life and make the world a better place, you’re going to have to learn how to release pent-up emotions. Pent up emotions are highly destructive to the human body, leading to the deterioration of the immune system, resulting in more susceptibility to illness and disease. Pent up emotions are the leading cause of premature death.

All that suppressed emotional energy is like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. The pressure builds and builds until something has to give, and it’s your physiology which is compromised as you cannibalize your own life force just to make it another day.

A healthy human being finds a way to process energy in a flowing manner allowing the life force to flow to and through the body, refreshing and nourishing in a natural wave of life-sustaining current. Pent-up negative emotions block the natural flow of life and love energy which is healing and allows you to continue to grow and expand in ways only you can.

You need to find a way to release the pressure which builds over time, or else something very bad is going to happen to you or those around you who you care about.

There are many ways to release pent-up emotions. Some are destructive, like when you strike out at someone emotionally in an over-reactive response to something that would have otherwise been innocuous. Embarrassing as this explosive event might have been, you did experience some relief from those pent-up emotions, finding a way to save you from further deterioration.

Certainly, there are more productive ways to release pent-up emotions without having to compromise your circle of influence, potentially causing damage to your social network. If you keep up this destructive method of releasing emotional pressure, it won’t be long, and your friends and family will find other places to be.

Plus, you wouldn’t want your people to think of you as a toxic influence on their life, right?

I have been blessed to discover years ago that there are effective methods to release emotional blockages and to resume healthy energy flow. My path led me first to prayer, followed by Neuro-linguistic Programming, hypnotherapy, then to Reiki, among many other modalities to find healthy ways to let go and get back into flow.

How to Release Pent-Up Emotions

You know when you’re approaching your body’s need to release pressure when you start getting edgy, feeling uncertain, anxious, stressed out, fearful, suspicious, or paranoid. Your subconscious is looking for danger signs to target for release. Any slightest indication of something appearing not to be in perfect order will trigger your (over-reactive) defensive alarm system, initiating an attack with the veracity of a kill-or-be-killed response.

These feelings of uneasiness or fear are your early warning system, notifying you that an explosive event is eminent. Knowing this, you can prepare for more healthy alternatives for releasing your pent-up emotions.
Therapy is a good method. You don’t have to seek out a paid professional, a good friend you can trust, who will allow you to express your emotions without judgment will work. Even an anonymous stranger who doesn’t know you (you don’t have to reveal your identity) can be an angel in human form, who will listen to your story, allowing you to in effect release some of your emotional pressure. You can walk away and let it go.

If you are in your body’s natural energy flow of love, memories and the emotional baggage which accompanies them is able to move about freely through your body, to and through your consciousness and out of your body without having to find places in the body to hide, where the emotional wounds fester, causing the deterioration of the immune system, body systems, and organs.

Accept

To start letting go you must accept that things are just as they are, and even though someone else’s actions or reactions feel like they are focused on you, they never are. When people act or react inappropriately, it is only an expression of their need to express and release their pent-up emotions, it has very little to do with you, except that they know no other way to release the emotional pressure which is causing them discomfort and pain.

Realize that things are just as they are and feel free to express yourself without judgment and realize that you have no need to judge anyone else who is only doing the best they can, just like you. (We’re all in this life, together.)

Allow

Allow all emotional states to be in all people as well as within yourself. Now that you know that your bad feelings are only your pent-up emotions looking for release, you can let them be, allowing yourself to fully feel the emotions and let them express themselves naturally. No need to resist or deny your feelings. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream.

Activate

Take action to activate positive energy flow in and through your biology. Engage yourself in any activity which makes your heart sing. Resist stagnation by gently encouraging blood flow and oxygenation of your body. Do a little light exercise to increase your biological flow and your energetic flow will follow.

Absorb

Let yourself soak in the ideas surrounding the basis for your feelings, seeking to understand what it might be like to be in the other person’s shoes, to have lived their life which led to whatever is the source of your discontent. Seek to understand empathetically with compassion, not taking it personally, and let it be. For more severe feelings of angst, you can initiate a form of meditation or prayer.

Appreciate

Find a way (or ways) to use this reminder that the most powerful energy for healing is love. Do something that allows you to appreciate this life, to be grateful, and express compassion and love. When you think of this event or anything associated to it, snuggle a pet, do something nice for someone else, volunteer, or make a donation to a worthy cause.

Take action to memorialize your allowance of “what is” by expressing gratitude and appreciation.

If you feel bad, do something good, and you’ll feel better.

Absolve

Absolution sets you free. If you can understand that the source of your ill feelings really doesn’t have anything to do with you (even though it feels like it was directed at you) you can empathize with the source’s need to do, say, or initiate whatever transpired which resulted in your feeling bad. You may have only been acting as the shock absorber for this person, which helped him or her release some of their own pent-up emotions.

From this perspective of understanding, you can find the love within yourself to forgive this person without judgment or the need to feel sorry (which would be condescending) for him or her.
There is no need for the other person to apologize to you for no crime was actually committed. You do not need to communicate your forgiveness to the other person (because they may not be able to understand it) for this forgiveness is for you, from your heart, filled with love and compassion.

Also, remember to be kind and loving enough to absolve yourself from any wrongdoing, or for harboring bad thoughts or discontent about this. Sometimes feelings may be pushed down and repressed for many years, since very early childhood.

Love and forgive yourself.

And finally,

Let it Go

No need to belabor it. True forgiveness has no need to revisit or reflect on this event, except to appreciate the hidden treasure or lesson which may have been hidden within it.

You are love and you are free.

Whether you’re suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), struggling with emotional pain from a recent/past relationship, or carrying some other type of heavy burden from another time in your past, this Emotional Release Method (ERM) can help alleviate or eliminate the pain from past trauma or drama in just a few minutes.

I’m all about delivering the best and quickest results for my clients and I use my Emotional Release Method for clients, others I love and care about, and myself, when I need to address negative emotional anchors related to trauma or drama.

The method is a meditative tap dance which releases the emotive connection to any event from your past that is causing you emotional pain and/or physiological discomfort. The pain associated with past trauma and drama can be debilitating and my Emotional Release Method can give you the relief you need to get back on your game.

While my ERM is effective for disconnecting the emotional ties to deep-rooted negative feelings, and sorrow associated with distressful heartbreak, stress, drama, or trauma, it does not treat any underlying issues which may need to be dealt with and may be a part of your personal deep work, but you will experience the emotional pain relief now.

Emotional Release Method

To learn my Emotional Release Method, I suggest that you get to a quiet, secluded space, where you can have a bit of privacy to practice my ERM. Get a place where you can sit comfortably without interruption for a few minutes. Once you know how to perform the Emotional Release Method you can do it anywhere, anytime you need emotional relief.

Before you start, reduce the definition of the source of your emotional pain to a single sentence and be as brutally honest and open with yourself about how you feel. For instance, “I hate it when my boss yells at me when I didn’t do anything wrong!” If your emotional discomfort were on a scale of 1 to 10, make sure that when you repeat your defining sentence that it evokes the highest level of emotional discomfort.

In this example, we will assume your sentence (I hate it when my boss yells at me when I didn’t do anything wrong!) rates a 10 on your emotional scale of upset. Now, we can begin applying the Emotional Release Method.

Sit quietly and calmly, place your hand’s open palm in the center of your chest. Take a deep cleansing breath and relax as much as you can. Pause. Take another deep cleansing breath and relax a little more. One more deep cleansing breath will get you to a place where you can initiate the Emotional Release Method.

Using the tips of three fingers, move them in a circle in the middle of your chest gently, round and round, visualizing your regular breaths are going in and out of your heart, as you tell yourself these words, repeat them after me:

“I love you.”
“I would never knowingly do anything to hurt you.”
“I am here for you.”
“I will never leave or forsake you.”
“I love you.”

Continue to visualize and feel your normal breathing as if it were going in and out of your heart.

You are going to gently and repeatedly tap four points on your face, in a sort of sign-of-the-cross fashion, starting with the forehead, followed by the chin, the bone on the outside side of your left eye, then the right.

Tapping on the center of your forehead, repeat your defining sentence, feeling as much negative emotion as you can when you speak the words. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Next, tapping on your chin, repeat the same words, feeling as much negative emotion as you can, associated with your word sequence. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Now tapping on the left side of your left eye on the bone, repeat the sentence that represents your emotional upset. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Finally, the outside of the right eye, on the bone, tap as you repeat those words again. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Back to drawing a continuous circle around the area of your heart, breathe into your heart love and compassion, and breathe out anything that might be not good for you. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Hold your open-palmed hand over your heart and repeat these words:

“I love you.”
“I would never knowingly do anything to hurt you.”
“I am here for you.”
“I will never leave or forsake you.”
“I love you.”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Now repeat those words, the words that previously rated a 10 on your negative emotional scale. What number does it feel like now?

If it is not down to a 2 or 3, or gone altogether, then repeat the Emotional Release Method again. You will find the negative emotions released more and more every time you perform my ERM.

Now that you know how to apply the Emotional Release Method, you can do it anytime, anywhere when you need an emotional space and a sense of peace about anything that tries to slow your roll.

You are now taking control of your own emotional wellbeing.

Congratulations.

You are loved.

You are love.