Tag: trauma

How Suppressed Trauma Affects You

Suffering from the effects of trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be expressed in many dysfunctional ways. When it is severely internalized, the one who has suppressed the trauma suffers even more. The people around this person are more than likely unaware that he or she is suffering at all because their internalization of the trauma is so effective. Or is it? They appear to be coping and interacting in life’s processes normally. But at what cost?

Unbeknownst to the onlookers, or even the person who is suffering from repressed trauma, it takes a great deal of energy to keep the trauma suppressed, because if it were to be released, the individual might experience a severe psychotic break or worse.

Where does the energy come from necessary to manage suppressed trauma?

The human body is a combination of mass and energy. The energy required to manage suppressed trauma is robbed from the body that hosts the trauma. This is the very same energy that is required for the body to function properly, so the body begins to deteriorate.

How does the body deteriorate due to suppressed trauma?

First and foremost, the immune system is compromised, so the person who is keeping the trauma buried deep within is prone to sickness, disease, and premature aging. Then energy is taken from the basic physiological and brain function, so organs begin to fail, bones may become brittle, depression begins to settle in, and cognition becomes problematic.

Explosive Traumatic Outbursts

Keeping all that trauma bottled up takes a lot of energy. Someone suffering from repressed trauma can get some relief by having an explosive traumatic outburst event. This is shocking to the unsuspecting onlookers who will be hard-pressed to try to make sense of this sudden break in character of their beloved family member, friend, or faithfully diligent employee.

Once completed, the outburst, which could take from hours to years, can offer a great deal of relief, and in a sense re-energize the individual suppressing the trauma giving them the ability to reset and have the energy necessary to resume a “normal” life once again.

Self-Medication

Many trauma suppressors release the pain from bottling it up by finding ways to let off steam and reenergize by engaging in high-risk activities periodically. These activities may be intimidating, even frightening, for most of us, but to them, they are highly effective coping mechanisms.

How might trauma suppressors self-medicate?

You might find them excessively “overing,” over-eating, over-drinking, over-spending, over-compensating, hoarding, gambling, using illicit drugs, engaging in criminal activity or sexually stimulating activity, having unprotected sex with strangers, or living a secret second life as a less desirable personality, among other methods of self-medication.

How do trauma suppressors affect other people’s lives?

If you genuinely care about someone who is actively hiding buried festering infectious wounds of unresolved trauma and abuse, accept the fact that this will be a tumultuous relationship. Expect broken promises, sudden surprises, hurt feelings, and ghosting, where this person may disappear without a word for periods of time or longer, even forever.

So, what’s the answer?

What can you do if you care about someone who is suppressing trauma?

Love them. As hard as you might try to help someone who is suppressing trauma, this is a highly individualized journey, and only they hold the keys to their own doing or undoing of this. Unraveling suppressed trauma is so complicated that there is no one way to assist someone through the process of overcoming trauma and abuse from the past, the trauma that for him or her is so individually horrific that the presence of it cannot be thought about or spoken of.

Can you help someone who is suppressing trauma?

Trying to help them will do you more harm than good. This is even a speculative proposition for experienced professionals. One who overcomes unresolved trauma will often seek different practitioners and modalities before finding the right combination of methodologies to successfully exit this mentally and potentially life-threatening affair.

CAUTION: Caring about someone who is dealing with unresolved past trauma or abuse can be traumatizing for you. Trying to help them? Even more.

The best thing you can do is to love them. Love them unconditionally if you can.

Try not to judge them. Pray for them, and send them all the love and energy from above and beyond you can because they need it.

 

Your Worst Enemy is Your Best Friend

What if your worst enemy was your best friend? Yes, adversity leads to growth, change, even evolutionary expansion, but what if that person who brings you the most grief and trauma really was, above all else, truly your best friend in the universe?

I know, the idea wreaks havoc with your brain, at first, as it does not compute, but bear with me.

A quick review of your life ‘til now will affirm that all those rough spots in your life led you to become the person you are today. And the person you are, while still in the process of growth and expansion, is sacredly magnificent in so many ways. Yet, you would not be so incredible if it weren’t for the hardship and trauma you suffered at the hands of your worst enemy.

Your worst enemy, that person you despise and love to hate more than anyone else played a key role in making you who you are today.

While you have grown, evolved as a human being, and expanded in consciousness, loving your enemy is the key to the doorway which leads to the next level awaiting you on the other side.

This could be too much to consider at this moment in time but just think about putting the idea on the shelf for review later.

While suspending disbelief for a moment while you ponder the idea of your worst enemy being your best friend, contemplate the idea of there being much more to this life than meets the eye.

What if there was a cosmic speakeasy where you hung out with your friends on the other side before you came to this earth?

What if this was the place where you and your friends plotted out the lives and experiences you would have on your next journey?

What if you had decided to add a little more excitement to this life and wanted to face demons and dragons of unimaginable proportions where you knew you would arrive victorious on the other side?

What if, your best friend on the other side, the personage who loves and cares for you more than anyone else, saw the potential for harm and offered to play the part of the “evil one” in this incarnation, to make sure your limits were pushed, but willing to protect that delicate balance, so that you could go through the experience and emerge the victor?

What if there were those from the other side who have entered into sacred contracts to be the focus of all your angst and hatred, all the while honoring your sacredness and loving you all the way?

Now, in this midst of this life, this person may not even understand why they are causing you so much trouble or hating on you as they do. They just cannot help themselves. And there is no way they could conceive of or understand if they were playing out their role in your story under sacred contract prior to their arrival on this planet.

But when you hook up again on the other side you will have a blast recalling the adventures and laughing about the drama as it played out.

Just something to think about.

It’s not an idea you need to adopt for any reason (this whole plotting of your journey before you arrived here) but the part about loving your enemy? That’s for real.

This is the key that unlocks the door, where everything you love and desire waits for you on the other side.

Think about that.

When you can love your worst enemy with all your heart, you discover your enemy really is your best friend.

How to Stop the Latent Abuse

You’ve been in an abusive relationship or a victim of abuse, and you’ve stopped the abuse. How do you stop the latent abuse? You found a way out, you were rescued, or you rescued yourself. Then you discover it didn’t stop the abuse. The abuse continues, it lingers. It digs at the deepest parts of you.

You’re like, “I’ve done all the work, I’m safe and free. Yet, it’s like I am still in the midst of it. Will I ever be free?”

This traumatic connection to your abuser allows the abuse to continue over time through an uncontrollable series of secondary emotional responses which are nearly, if not as, severe as when you actually were submitted to the abuse.

This latent abuse persists over time and can be more damaging than the abuse which triggers it because you may have only suffered the abuse once, but the latent abuse tarries and further abuses you over and over again.

This fits the definition of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). When you suffer abuse at the hands of another, you are connected to that person. While you may be able to save yourself from the abuse by separating yourself from the abusive environment or situation, you are continually traumatized or re-abused by the thought of the abuse, or when triggered by anything remotely associated with the abuse.

If you are unable to cut the cord of this emotional connection to your abuser, he or she will have continued control over you for the rest of your life, causing you to suffer even more, even though he or she is not even there.

Most abusers do not take satisfaction over this continued abuse because they don’t even think about it, but if you’ve suffered at the hands of a psychopath, the continued abuse you suffer over time is their badge of honor. Psychopaths pride themselves in being able to continually hurt someone over a period of time, for life, even more so.

If you are the victim of latent abuse, the best advice to follow is to seek out a coach or counselor with some experience in helping others overcome the continued suffering of latent abuse or PTSD. This is serious business and there are hundreds of ways to deal with the lingering effect of latent trauma, some methods are more effective than others.

They key is to enable you to cut the cords which connect your abuser to you once and for all. When you suffer abuse at the hands of another, you are emotionally connected to the monster within your abuser. To truly be free, you must not only separate yourself from your abuse, but you must cut the emotional cord which connects you to the monster.

You can experience relief from latent trauma by using my Emotional Release Method (ERM). You don’t have to seek out professional help, and you can enjoy freedom from the emotional connection to your abuser. You will be able to recall the events from the past that traumatized you, without having to feel all the emotional pain associated with those memories.

Whatever method you use to cut the cord of emotional abuse, you will know you are truly free when you can recall the events without feeling the pain associated with the abuse. Then, and only then, will you be free to heal the emotional wounds and grow unencumbered by your abuser.

If you are like others who have suffered abuse in the past, you may ask yourself, “Why would I be subjected to such abuse?”

“Why?” is a disempowering question. Why stops all forward momentum for growth and can even put you in reverse (See: WHY = STOP + Reverse). Though, you might consider this:

No one is more qualified than you to reach out and help someone else from suffering this kind of abuse. In a sense, you’re being subject to this abuse has equipped you to help others who have suffered similar trauma.

This is a part of your journey.

Imagine turning all this latent trauma into a powerful weapon for good. Your experience can empower you to be a force for good, empowering others to change their lives, heal, grow, enjoy a better life, and make the world a better place.

Your Deepest Darkest Secrets

What is the most important secret in your life? That secret that you would protect from others at any cost? There are basically two types of secrets, those which are of light and life, and those which would be more associated with darkness and death. Of which substance is your most tightly held secret?

You most tightly held secret influences and is reflected upon and permeates your life, determining how you will navigate and interact with the rest of the world.

By holding onto a deeply held negative secret, your natural abilities to thrive deteriorate and your mind exerts a great deal of energy to discover and implement processes which can be deployed to help overcome the loss of your natural ability to thrive.

These schemes employ a wide variety of methods and have varying degrees of efficacy in producing the quality of life you feel you are (and you are) entitled to.

Through trickery and sleight of hand you are able to manifest things and circumstances which will provide for you the life you want, or at least a version of it which is pleasing enough to you. No one knows more than you, how much your life is built on illusion. You can become a master of illusion, in a sense, becoming the master illusionist of your own life.

Or, if you do not have a propensity to engage in the magic of illusion, you may sink into a dark despair and depression, while your mind and your body devolve into desperation, disease and death. Of course, these are two ends of the spectrum experienced by those who harbor deep and dark negative secrets inside themselves.

Keeping negatively-charged secrets, the avoidance of the, the pushing down and locking away of them can keep them

If you struggle with harboring these deep dark secrets, there is hope. You can, by accessing the multitude of endless possibilities, set yourself free of you hidden past, by embracing your true divine nature.

If you go beyond the depths of your dark past, you will discover underneath all the trauma of your past is a sacred being who is who you really are. You came to this earth holy and flawless. Since then you have accumulated a lifetime of experiences which have separated you from who you really are.

You have built a fortress of impenetrable ideals which have served to protect you from the damage incurred by your past. The pushing down and covering up of these hidden traumas has served you for a moment, in a sense giving you ways and means to isolate you from the pain, so that you can make it through life with some sense of sanity, but this is only an illusionary therapeutic approach.

These experiences have left you with festering wounds that will poison you, your soul, as you keep these things buried deep within your psyche.

The more you connect with your divinity, the more you can begin to see the things that have hurt you in the past from a higher perspective.

If you could see the darkest parts of you from God’s perspective, you can begin to see the sacredness in all things for suffering does not come without blessing. That is the divine nature of all life. The hardest turmoil leads to the most incredible blessings, if you will allow the sacred fruit to be born from your trials and tribulation.

You can do this by exploring your past by studying your past with your higher self, in a sense, looking through the eyes of God.

As you become more aware of and connected to your higher self, you can begin to take divine action influencing all areas of your life with goodness and mercy. You find ways to influence the world for good by basking in your own sacredness and spread love by being more gracious.

True love starts with gratitude for all things and leads to inspired action of doing good deeds and random acts of kindness. These inspired acts help you to imagine your unlimited potential, and the more you explore your infinite sacred self, you expand and evolve.

As you evolve your life moves from being centered around your mind (which as you now know does not really serve your highest and best potential) and your life gets more based on the central nervous system which originates and emanates from your heart.

Opening your heart and connecting it to the source of all life really does open you up to unlimited possibilities in your life for increased health, wellness, quality of life and longevity. Your body starts to rebuild, regenerate and heal itself of anything that does not serve your highest and best.

The more spiritual you become the more your divinity permeates all that you are even on a cellular level and throughout your DNA.

Your heart’s sacred connection to the source of all life imbues you with the same power that creates worlds and things that you thought were impossible before are now imaginable, and if you can imagine it, you have the ability to manifest your dreams, right here, in 3D.

When your deepest darkest secrets are illuminated by the light of true love, your life becomes a reflection of your love light which greatly affects not your world but the whole world around you.

Why Do You Get More of What You Don’t Want?

Why is it that when you really don’t want something, it seems like you get more of what you don’t want? You don’t want overdue bills, driving around crazy drivers in traffic, being late for school or work, to lose track of your words mid-sentence, forget where you put something like your cell phone or car keys, or God forbid, get into a romantic relationship with a person just like the last one, or worse. Yet here they are.

Why do you get more of what you don’t want?

Here’s the deal, there is far more to you than meets the eye. Sure, you may have your life under control, and you’re able to help others keep their lives orderly, but why is it that your life seems to be increasingly problematic, when you know better?

Because you’re not just a biological machine, an animated bag of meat with a brain. You are also an energetic powerhouse and spiritual being as well. As much as you might like to deny it, this is true, and both of these parts of you are looking out for your highest good, while society and your support system may not be looking out for your best interests.

The Energetic You

The energetic part of you is responsible for attracting to you the things you think about. Like a magnet, this energy draws in what you think and speak about and doesn’t care whether you like it or not. The more powerfully you think about a thing, the more often it shows up.

So, if you’re thinking of something with a lot of emotion attached to it, you will see more of that thing showing up in your life more often and with more intensity. If you really want more of what you don’t want, simply think about what you don’t want and it will come to you.

Want even more of what you don’t want? Then actually talk about what you don’t want. If you want even more, then increase the emotion you have about it, and begin talking about it with negative emotional energy, and try starting off your topic with, “I hate…” and end your sentences with an exclamation point. Now, watch it roll in even more!

Once you understand how this, you can find ways to adjust your thought process to affect your personal energy field. You can not only start managing your negative thoughts and emotions, but you can start to think and speak in more positive ways about the things you really want to see showing up in your life.

This will attract more of the things you want in your life. This is called manifestation in the Law of Attraction 101.

The Spiritual You

Then there is that spiritual being, which you also are. It works a little differently, and it a lot more sophisticated in how it works than your energetic being.

The greater part of you vibrates at the highest of energetic frequencies, knows only love, and is only concerned about what is best for you. It sees all, knows all, and can summon all the powers seen and unseen to see that you are served up only those things in life which will lead to your highest and best.

The thing, here, is that you and your higher self are not always in agreement as to what would best serve you. While you are easily overwhelmed by the details of life, not unlike being lost in the forest, the greater part of you has an aerial view and can see everything around you. Which direction you are headed, the terrain ahead of you, and the footsteps you’ve left behind.

Since you cannot see the forest for the trees, without a compass you may be walking in circles through your life or may actually be going in the wrong direction. Each step moving you further and further away from where you want to be.

Your higher self can come to the rescue, setting up circumstances, which may appear to be tragic and traumatic, calling in your angels and guides if necessary, to get you back on track, moving in the direction of what you really want in life.

This is why bad things happen to good people because it takes that kind of tragic circumstance to wake us up out of the trance of life and begin to see things as they really are. The most traumatic experiences in life often lead to our awakening. And for those of us who are the most resistant to the awakening, we may have to suffer more than others.

When bad things happen to you, it is serving your higher purpose. It may be hard to imagine when you’re in the thick of it, but it’s true, and you’ll be able to see it more clearly once you are on the other side of it.

Your Social Support System

It’s so easy to get distracted and derailed, even totally lost, when you are desiring a better life, and your friends and family are not as concerned about your well-being as you might think. Granted, they don’t want to see you suffer (too much) and they want you to have good things in your life… Only, not better than the life that they are experiencing.

Of course, this underlying energy is not spoken of outwardly, unfortunately, for the most part, the people you care about want to see you have a better life for sure, just not better than theirs. Why? Because they are seeing your intention to move your life from mediocrity to magnificence. An idea that may have crossed their minds earlier in life, only they gave it up for folly, as most people are likely to do.

If you were to succeed, what message would that send to them?

They might think they had utterly failed in their life, failed their family and friends, and above all, failed to their true selves, and ultimately God. This is a process of thinking that no one would like to entertain. So, better to talk you out of it or even help you fail a little bit, than you have to endure the trauma of having to deal with the decisions they made to settle for a “safe and sane” lackluster life. It’s just too much to have to face for the average person.

Often it is a good idea to find support from like-minded people who desire to see you rise to the heights of your highest and best and encouraging you to grow and change, as necessary, to traverse from where you are and transform into the better you which is waiting for you fully embrace all that you can be.

There are many reasons for tragedy to visit the lives of those who are lost, all of them for your highest and best. The more you understand and embrace this idea, loving all the life you are presented with and in a sense going with the flow, the far easy it will be to adjust and adapt to the changes, allowing you to more easily be in the right place at the right time, moving you more swiftly to that which is your highest and best.